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auroraphilealis · 8 years ago

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The Summer Epilogue Part One (32/33)

The Summer (32/33) | Dan Howell has spent the last three summers at Camp Bergamot, but it’s never been quite like this before. This year, he faces a summer full of new friends, a new relationship, and an entirely new view on his own sexuality. Perhaps Camp Bergamot should be renamed camp self discovery for all the changes Dan has gone through, but one thing’s for sure - despite all the hiccups and the drama, he just might have found the love of his life. | Phan | Mature | Smut, Misunderstandings, Insecurity, Panic Attacks, Bullying, Minor Violence, Physical Fight | 300,000+ Words

Disclaimer: In no way do I claim that this is real or cast aspersions on Dan or Phil.

This Part: 27,072 Words

For reference, @botanistlester is Dan, @snowbunnylester is Phil.

(Previous) (AO3) (Masterlist)

Warnings: angst, misunderstandings, paranoia, fingering, barebacking, bdsm, sensory deprivation, light airplay, praise!kink, handcuffs, blindfolds

Chapter Thirty-Two: Epilogue Part One

Two years later

This was it. Tomorrow was the day. Two years to the date since Dan Howell and Phil Lester had first started dating that fateful day back during summer camp, and Phil was nervous as fuck.

He hadn't seen his boyfriend in a few weeks due to summer school and the ridiculously fast paced semesters at Dan’s prestigious art school he'd been invited too, but Dan had managed to set some time aside for tomorrow, their anniversary, and Phil was - well, Phil was excited, but he was also nervous as fuck, because tomorrow... tomorrow, Phil was planning to propose.

It had been two years since they'd gotten together, and to be fair, not only was it rather soon, but they had been spending a lot of time apart since they'd started college last fall, but, well, distance made the heart grow fonder, and Phil had never been so sure in his life that he wanted Dan and only Dan. He'd been thinking about this for months now, been talking to Mariah and Kim, and his mum, of course, and he was ready. He was certain.

He'd been saving money for this since last summer, before he was sure, and had managed to scrape up just enough to afford a more than half decent ring for Dan, and now he had it packed away in his pocket for the morning of their anniversary while he stared blankly at his phone and prayed that Dan would soon call for their nightly routine just as excited as Phil for tomorrow.

More than anything in the world, Phil just wanted to see Dan. He was on a scholarship with a lot of conditions that included him attending summer school, unlike Phil, who'd come home for the summer, and it had been kind of hard on Phil. This was the first summer since he'd met Dan that he'd had to spend apart from him, and it had been a bit of struggle, but it was worth it for Dan to get his degree in something he loved.

Phil, meanwhile, had gone into astronomy and was working on becoming a teacher in a high school one day, but he wasn't on a scholarship, nor was his school as expensive as Dan's, so he'd been able to take the pace a bit more slow. He felt lucky in that, especially when Dan made the trip down to visit him on weekends during the school year and Phil was able to see just how tired he was.

They skyped a lot as well, but it wasn't the same as being with Dan, because sometimes the stress would get to Dan and Dan would cry and Phil would feel horrible that he couldn't hold him and make him feel better.

Things had been okay though. They were getting by, and Phil was sure; Phil was sure that Dan was the love of his life, was sure that he was the love of Dan's life, and while he had some new uni friends who liked to talk shit about Dan probably having some bit on the side for when Phil wasn't around, he'd never once listened.

Phil was certain that, like him, Dan was unable to even look at other people like that, and he'd long since been secure in their relationship - well, kind of.

The truth was, Phil was every bit as insecure as he'd ever been. Dan had just spent a lot of his time proving himself to Phil, and while they still had problems, Phil was certain that this was what he wanted - to marry Dan, and have him always, no matter what happened. He'd been learning to trust, been learning to accept commitment without fear, and he thought he was ready now.

Now, all Phil needed was for Dan to come home so Phil could take him out on a proper date, and propose to him.

Dan was practically vibrating with excitement. After weeks of not seeing Phil due to conflicting uni schedules and distance, Dan was finally able to make some time for him, and it wasn't just any day, no. It was their fucking two year anniversary.

Two years of being in the best relationship that Dan had ever had, of sappy love and hour long skype calls that ended with Dan falling asleep. Of Phil supporting him through everything, even when Dan got accepted to Herron School of Art that meant he'd be hours away from Phil even during the summers. Call Dan a sap, but this was a pretty big day for him.

Except, he couldn't figure out how to surprise Phil. He wanted to do something for him, something big, something that would make him forever grateful that Dan had done that thing for him. He was at a loss, though, and his flatmate, Colby, wasn't helping in the slightest.

"Dude just fuckin' buy lingerie and show up on his doorstep," Colby told Dan, making Dan glare at him.

"Fuck you," Dan seethed. He had finished packing for Phil's house hours ago and was now pacing the room.

"Oh!" Colby exclaimed suddenly. Dan turned his attention on him, hard glare on his face. "Tell him you can't make it up there tomorrow and then you show up anyways! It's the best surprise!"

Dan hesitated, biting his lip. "Isn't that, I dunno, a bit harsh? It'd crush him."

Colby shook his head. "Dude no. Phil's the most understanding guy in the world. Just tell him you have a big art project due this week that you forgot about and that you can't come for another few days. Then show up with flowers and a list of reasons why you love him or some sappy shit like that."

Dan sighed. It was better than any of his other ideas, at least. But did that make him a bad boyfriend to lie like that? He just wanted their anniversary to be the best it could be.

"Fine," Dan muttered and picked up his phone. He gnawed on his lip as he tapped on the familiar number, holding his breath as the phone rang. When Phil answered, Dan let out his breath and opened his mouth to blatantly lie to his boyfriend. He reminded himself that it was for Phil's best interest - hell, maybe he would show up in a maid outfit or something.

Just as Phil was growing anxious that Dan wasn't going to call for the night, his phone began to ring, and he smiled at the sight of Dan's name showing up on his phone screen. They called each other before bed every night, and Phil knew that Dan had been planning on sleeping early so he could leave early and spend as much of their anniversary with Phil as possible. It helped that Phil was home for the weekend, Dan's school being that little bit closer to their hometown than it was to Phil's uni. It had been getting kinda late now, though, or late for Dan to claim going to bed "early" at least, so it had surprised Phil when it had taken Dan so long to call him. He picked up eagerly now, with a chirpy "Hey baby." The smile on his face would not leave, now that Dan was here, and his fingers clenched around the ring box he'd been clinging too all night. His mum had told him he should put it away, somewhere safe so he wouldn't lose it, but Phil was clinging to it with all his might. "How are you? Doing okay over there? I can't wait to see you," he said, voice going soft and sappy already.

Dan was immediately relaxing at the sound of Phil's voice, grinning like the lovesick fool he was. Colby rolled his eyes and muttered something about how Dan was disgusting, to which Dan shushed him. "Hi Phil," Dan murmured warmly. He couldn't even try to hide the affection in his voice. Two years. He couldn’t believe it'd already been so long. "I'm okay. Good. I can't wait to see you either." Dan swallowed and braced himself. "Er- about tomorrow," he started. He felt so awful about lying that he could barely get it out. "I don't know if I'll be able to come up?" Colby was glaring at him and Dan glared right back. "Make it believable at least," Colby hissed quietly. Dan waved him away. "I got assigned a huge art project that I have to work on. Is it okay if i come up in a couple of days instead? I'm really sorry."

The sound of Dan's voice over the line was the loveliest sound Phil had ever heard, and he found himself relaxing against the bed just to listen to Dan. He could listen to Dan for ages - they'd already established that. It was hard being apart for day's on end like they were, but they managed, and if their friends made fun of them for staying up all night to talk to each other, oh well. It was what made them the most happy anyway. Besides, Dan was coming up tomorrow, and then no one could make fun of them for being all over each other, and - "What?" Phil asked, dumbstruck as the weight of Dan's words hit him at full force. HIs stomach clenched tightly, the ring box in his fingers slipped out and onto his mattress, and he sat up so abruptly, his head spun, but he didn't' care because his mind was still reeling with what Dan had just said. "I - I thought you said you got everything all sorted, you know, so you could - so you could come up..." Phil's heart was steadily breaking, because he'd been looking forward to Dan's visit for days, and he had a ring, for him and now - now... "Are you sure you can't - work something out?" he asked, desperate.

It took Phil a moment to respond, but when he did, Dan's heart fell to his feet and he had to bite his tongue to stop himself from blurting out his plan. Phil just sounded so heartbroken, and Dan didn't want that at all. He wanted Phil to be happy, wanted him to know that Dan was going to try and surprise him and show up with a cute present that could top anything Phil could have possibly gotten him. (Just because he didn't know what to get yet didn't necessarily mean anything). "I thought I did have everything sorted out," Dan murmured quietly, staring at his shoes. His stomach was clenching with guilt and making him sick. "But my professor gave us an assignment today and it's absolutely huge... I really don't think I can make it up there tomorrow and have my project done in time. But- but I'll still come up and see you! It'll just have to be in a few days!" Dan clenched the phone tightly in his hand. "I'm sorry, I'm the worst. But I love you so, so much."

Phil's heart was absolutely shattered, and he didn't even know why. Maybe it was the fact that Dan had promised him something and broken that promise, or maybe it was the fact that Phil was afraid it wouldn't mean as much if he didn't propose on the day of their anniversary, but whatever the problem was, it was killing him right now. He almost wanted to snap at Dan, to tell him fuck the assignment, fuck the project, wasn't Phil more important? But he didn't, because he knew that would be cruel, and he didn't mean a word of it. He understood completely were Dan was coming from, understood how important his education was, and Phil would never, ever get in the way of that. So he sighed, and he flopped back onto his bed, and he rolled over with his phone still pressed to his ear, and he said, "I love you too, Dan. It's okay. I understand." And he did... so why did it feel like a lie?

Phil went to bed that night with a lump in his throat. He'd cut his conversation with Dan short not all that long after Dan had called him, claiming to just be a little upset and not wanting to take it out on Dan. It wasn't a stretch from the truth, but the reality of it was Phil had been able to hear Dan joking with his roommate again, and that always bothered Phil.

Dan's roommate was kind of an asshole, and Dan didn't actually like him all that much, but he also always said that Colby had his good traits too. That wasn't all that was bothering Phil, though. A few times during their call, he'd heard Colby hiss something at Dan that had made Dan giggle, and the sound of it had grated on Phil's nerves more than it should have. He knew better than to think that it meant anything, knew better than to be offended that just because he was heartbroken Dan wasn't going to get to come and visit tomorrow, it didn't mean Dan couldn't have fun stuck back in the dorms with Colby.

The fact of the matter was, though, that Phil was bothered by the fact that Dan could have fun right now, when Phil was outright devastated. It just made no sense that Dan hadn't even seemed upset that he couldn't see Phil anymore, and it didn't really add up that he had a project either.

The more Phil thought about it, in fact, the more he felt like something was wrong, and a pit opened up in his stomach. Hadn't Dan just been showing him his syllabus and how the teacher had written out every single due date already, because he wouldn't have time in the summer classes to add dany more homework? And hadn't Dan said he'd done all of his projects in advance just for an excuse to see Phil? So he wouldn't have to worry, or panic on their anniversary? So why... why all of a sudden had that changed?

Terror filled Phil as some of his uni friends words came back to him.

Long distance never works out, mate. He's just gonna find someone closer he can fuck and hang you out to dry. It's better not to put yourself through that. Just break up with him already.

Had Dan found...someone else? Phil couldn't bear to think about it, even as Dan and Colby's laughter echoed in his ears.

The phone conversation was finished far before Dan wanted it to be over. But maybe that was a good thing, seeing as Dan couldn't lie to Phil quite as well as he thought he'd be able to. It was especially hard with Colby whispering nonsense to him about how Dan was a terrible liar and Phil must be head over heels for him if he believed that act.

So when Phil excused himself to sleep, Dan sighed and fell back on his bed. He looked over at the bags he'd packed today, telling himself that it wasn't for long that he'd have to keep this lie up. He'd see Phil tomorrow and then everything would be okay again.

"You alright, mate?" Colby asked, nudging Dan's foot with his own.

Dan scoffed. "I just lied to my boyfriend and broke his heart, but yeah I'm totally fine!" Dan said sarcastically. He shook his head.

"Listen. Just help me figure out a good present for him tomorrow and I'll forgive you for making me do that."

Colby muttered something about how Dan had done that of his own free will, but Dan ignored him. He just wanted to see Phil already.

Phil woke up the next morning feeling nearly as bad as he had when he'd gone to bed, except come morning he'd gone mostly numb.

It was hard to think past the heartbreak and the lump in his throat, and it really wasn't helping that he'd had dreams about Dan getting into bed with someone that wasn't him.

It was hard to think about.

Phil had spent every day of the last year thinking of Dan, even as he'd made new friends and seen his fair few classmates who were objectively attractive. Never once had Phil even considered being with anyone but Dan, not even on his loneliest of nights when Dan was too busy to even call him, let alone skype him, so to think that Dan might have - that Dan might have grown tired of waiting... that was enough to break him.

Was Phil not good enough?

When he climbed out of bed, his foot kicked something soft and velvety, and he had to stop and look down at his sheets to find the ring box he'd left there for Dan. Inside was Phil's heart, really, and before he could stop himself, he was crying, sobbing into his hands, and shoving the ring off of his bed and onto the floor into the mess of his room.

If he never found it again, he wouldn't even care just then, because Dan hadn't even said when he was coming.

The next morning was an early one for Dan.

His train left at noon, so he had to make sure to go shopping for Phil before he had to leave. He'd already gotten a few things, of course, but nothing that he felt really screamed two year anniversary to him. And of course, he had to have somebody to brainstorm with, so he decided to bring Colby along for his (most likely useless) two cents.

They were looking around the shopping centre, sneaking peeks into shops and trying to figure out just what to get Phil that would show just what Dan truly felt for Phil, how Phil lit his heart on fire and made him feel alive. He was texting Phil all the while, sending a long ass message about how much he loved Phil and how their two year anniversary meant more to Dan than Phil would ever know. He even sent Phil a picture of himself with another sappy caption, hoping it would make Phil feel slightly better.

"Oh, stop moping," Colby muttered as they made their way through the shops. "You act like you're actually not seeing him today."

Dan rolled his eyes and poked his head into another store, looking over the various knickknacks.

"Shush. I just hate making him sad for no reason." And that's when his eyes fell on the most perfect gift Dan could have ever have thought to buy.

Slowly, a smile made its way onto his face, and he nearly ran to the item, snatching it up.

"It's perfect," Dan gasped, marveling at the beautiful object. There was a lady at the counter, grinning at him, and Dan couldn't help it when he blurted out, "Can I get this engraved and how long would that take?"

It took a long time for Phil to calm down, and by the time he did, it felt like his heart had been wrung out, and he had no more tears to shed. His eyes were sore and red, his parents thankfully away for the week, and he was alone. So, so alone, with no boyfriend to look forward to coming home for their anniversary, and not even a text - his phone chimed, and Phil sat up instantly, searching blindly for the offending object as he had yet to stick his glasses on yet today.

His heart was in his throat, and there was hope thrumming in his veins by the time that he found his phone - hope that Dan was coming after all.

Instead, there was a long heartfelt message from Dan wishing Phil a happy anniversary, full of sappy confessions of love and affection, and even though it wasn't a promise for Dan to come and visit him after all, it was a message, and it meant the world to Phil. For the first time since last night, he suddenly felt quite silly for being so ridiculous.

Of course Dan wasn't cheating on him, of course Dan hadn't found someone better, or got tired of waiting. Of course he wasn't just looking for an excuse to avoid Phil.

His phone buzzed in his hand again. Phil glanced down, giggled at the sight of Dan, reaching to reply, only - was that… was that Colby behind him? And where were they, because that sure as hell didn't look like their dorm room...

Dan was... Dan was doing his art project, right? Maybe... maybe he was just at an art store, picking up supplies? The project had been a last minute addition, something Dan had not been expecting, right? But... that didn't' look like an art supply store, and that didn't look like Dan's dorm, and... and Phil didn't know what to think anymore, so he dropped his phone and decided that there was just no point in replying right now when all he could feel was devastation and rejection and absolute heartbreak.

"Engraving will take approximately an hour, sir," the shop attendant informed Dan, the grin not leaving her face once. Dan looked at the time on his phone, hesitating slightly. It was currently 10:30. If he decided to go through with his master plan, the present would be finished thirty minutes before the train left. Could Dan still make the train?

He shook those thoughts out of his mind. Of course he could. He'd just have to go and grab all of his bags from his house, get dressed, and then grab the present on his way to the train station.

"Deal," Dan said, handing the beautiful heart-shaped locket to the woman. It was silver and decorated with beautiful black and light blue jewels. At home, he would also have to print off a picture small enough of he and Phil to put inside the locket, but he would be able to insert it on the train.

"I'd like to get 'I Love You Always' engraved on the back, please." Dan handed the money to the girl and she told him to come back for it in an hour. He thanked her profusely before leaving the store.

"God, you're cheesier than I thought," Colby told him matter-of-factly. Dan shoved him.

"It's meant to be cheesy. Hence why I'm getting him a bouquet of roses as well." Colby just groaned, but he followed nonetheless as Dan dragged him to another store. Phil still hadn't replied, which made Dan frown, but he tried not to think too much of it. Phil was probably just asleep still.

It had been just over an hour since Dan had texted Phil.

Phil hadn't responded, and if he was honest with himself, the more time that passed since Dan's message, the more crushed Phil felt inside, because Dan didn't even bother attempting to send anymore. It was like he hadn't even noticed that Phil hadn't replied, and Phil wondered how long it would take him to realize.

Whatever he was doing with Colby must be a pretty good distraction, because it never took Dan long to bug Phil if he didn't respond fast enough for him, especially not to a sappy message like that. Still, despite the pain and the anger at Dan, the terror that Dan was lying to him and something nefarious was going on, he found himself picking up his phone more often than not to look the message over; it was just as sappy as anything they did, full of heartfelt admonishes and little Dan-ism's that never seized to make Phil laugh, even now. It had their inside jokes, and memories that Phil never wanted to let go of, and even a cheeky mention of something more private in nature that Dan fully planned to do the next time he saw Phil. It was just... what if he didn't mean any of it?

Phil couldn't help the fear broiling inside of him, and as time wore on, he found himself scrolling through old pictures on his phone of Dan and thinking about all the ways he must have gone wrong to lose the best person who had ever been in his life.

The first thing Dan did when he and Colby got back to the flat was put on the fanciest clothes he owned. He wasn't just about to show up at his boyfriend's house unannounced in just trackies and a jumper. Oh no, Dan had to go all out.

He put on a nice white button down shirt and even put on a red tie to accent it, and his signature black skinny jeans that were more skin than jeans. Then he bid farewell to Colby because he definitely wasn't going to see him for a few days, grabbed his bags, and headed back to the shops to grab the locket he'd gotten for Phil.

He was probably a sight dressed in fancy clothes, carrying a bouquet of roses and a suitcase, but he didn't care. Phil was worth it.

When he picked up the necklace, it was better than he'd originally thought it was going to be, the engraving in the back making Dan feel all giddy inside. The picture of Dan and Phil that he had cut out at his flat was going to fit inside wonderfully.

Phil still hadn't texted back when Dan got himself situated on the train, which made Dan's eyebrows crease. It was noon already, was Phil really still asleep? He decided to text him again just to make sure, worry making his stomach clench.

You still asleep love? Dan texted before getting to work on placing the picture in the locket while the train finished loading passengers.

Phil had just run downstairs for a late breakfast when his phone went off in his pocket, and he felt himself freeze. He wanted to hope that it was Dan, wanted to hope again that it was Dan telling him he'd been lying the whole damn time, wanted to hope that Dan still loved him, but it was hard when Phil couldn't' even calm himself down enough to think straight.

He knew, without a doubt, that he was overreacting right now, and if he just gave himself some time to relax, he'd feel better and not be so scared about Dan cheating on him. After all, he trusted his boyfriend, he did, it was just hard when he was feeling so rejected right now, when so many people had been telling him for so long that he couldn't just trust that a long distance relationship like his and Dan's was going to work out when they were both so young, in the prime of their lives, and had rarely experienced anyone but each other.

It was hard when Phil's mind and insecurities were playing up, when he'd been so, so ready to propose to Dan, certain that,despite going off to uni, not together, and seeing so many other people in the world, they'd only cemented the fact home that they wanted no one but each other.

It was hard when Dan wouldn't even text him back.

Fumbling in his pocket, Phil finally pulled his phone free, and felt his lips tug to see a message from Dan. When he opened it, he felt his heart crack a little, because Dan was worried about him, and Phil should have known better.

Slowly, he forced himself to text Dan back, and hoped his boyfriend would forgive him for being such an asshole that he couldn't' even be bothered to reply to his anniversary text. After all.. Phil was feeling rather shit just then.

Yeah, sry.

For a moment, Dan didn't think Phil was going to text back again.

He frowned, staring at the dead phone on his lap like it was a poisonous snake trying to bite him. Was Phil angry with him? Sure, he'd 'canceled' on their plans, but he'd done so before and Phil was usually pretty understanding about it. He couldn't help the nagging feeling that Phil was upset with him, and it distracted him from putting the picture in the locket.

His finger slipped and he ended up giving himself a paper cut, hissing at the sting and lifting the cut to his mouth to lick off the blood.

At that moment, Dan's phone went off, and he scrambled for it, nearly dropping the locket in the process. His eyebrows furrowed even more, however, at Phil's distant message. Just a yes and a sorry? Even after Dan's long message wishing Phil a happy anniversary? Even when Phil was a sleepy grump, he usually had the decency to at least respond to Dan's lovey-dovey messages. What had Dan done wrong? What if Phil... what if Phil didn't want to see him today anymore?

He tried to tell himself that he was being ridiculous. Talking about his feelings with Phil was the only way he would get his emotions sorted out and he knew this.

Are you mad at me?:-( i rly wish i could be there with you rn

Phil sighed after he sent the message, feeling pretty cruddy about it despite everything, because it made him feel like he was being a dick. Dan had just been trying to be sweet, after all, trying to make up for the fact that he couldn't come to visit Phil like they'd planned, it was just. Well, even if Phil convinced himself that he was just overreacting, that didn't still his mind from coming up with more and more insane ideas of what could possibly be going on right now.

Dan had clearly been out somewhere with Colby, and he'd canceled really last minute under some really shady excuse, and it had taken him a good hour to realize that Phil hadn't text him back after his "heartfelt" message and the awkward picture he'd sent Phil... it wasn't Phil's fault his mind was going crazy on him.

He'd promised Dan to try and get a hold on these feelings, though, to try and talk to Dan when he was feeling insecure, it was just... Phil was feeling pretty raw right now, what with Dan not coming to visit and it being their anniversary, so when his phone went off again, he didn't answer this time. Instead, he just settled himself down with a bowl of cereal, and tried not to cry anymore.

The ring, the proposal, it was all forgotten now, because Phil didn't think he could ever do it, anymore.

Dan spent about thirty minutes of the train ride trying to wrestle the little pictures into the locket, cursing at them and trying not to bend them too much. It had to be perfect because Phil deserved the best of the best, so there was no way he could get some bent picture in a locket.

Dan's hands were shaking pretty badly and he kept casting glances to the roses and his phone sitting in the seat beside him. The phone had stayed completely silent. Phil hadn't texted back once in the past thirty minutes, despite Dan's upset message.

He didn't want to piss Phil off even more (even if he didn't know why Phil was ignoring him), so he tried to refrain from double texting, but it was getting increasingly hard to do so.

When he finished up the locket and put it in the black box it had come in, Dan finally allowed himself to dive for his phone again, texting Phil a bunch of question marks that were probably more annoying than anything else.

When Phil's phone went off again, he couldn't' help himself. He reached for it almost instinctively, something in him soothed by the action of Dan double texting him like he normally would, and unlocked the screen to check his messages.

For a moment, all he saw was some spam email from his email app, and he nearly tossed his phone away in mortification and heartbreak, but then he saw the little notification, delayed, from Dan, and his heart instantly calmed. He really, really needed to get himself under control.

Of course, Dan's message then ripped into Phil like no other, and he felt his eyes start to prick with tears all over again, because how could he be such a dick? Dan was upset, of course Dan was upset - Phil hadn't said anything about their anniversary, and he was being a right dick right now by ignoring him.

It was just, Phil was an insecure jerk, and he didn't know how to fix it, so he picked up his phone and did the best he could.

no bby, course im not mad at u. i kno u wanna b here, and i wish u were, i just need some time. love you <3

Just another hour until Dan would be at Phil's house. Just another hour and Dan would be able to hold his boyfriend in his arms and kiss away all of his worries. He couldn't fucking wait for this hour to pass, and it felt like a fucking eternity to him.

His phone vibrated and his heart melted at the message Phil had sent him, sounding much more like the boyfriend that he knew and loved. At the same time, it also made him worry more. Phil had said he needed time. Did Dan seriously mess up that much that Phil couldn't even talk to him on their anniversary because he needed time? Maybe this wasn't a good idea after all.

Dan shouldn't have listened to Colby. He should have known Colby was a dumbass who never had any good ideas. Hopefully, he could fix it in an hour though.

Okay <3 im thinking of you. Cant wait til i can see your face again xoxo.

If only Phil knew how soon that would be.

The next time Phil's phone went off, he picked it up because he was itching too, because he wanted to know if Dan would apologize for canceling on him, or make any more excuses, or worse yet, break up with him because Phil was just far too needy. What he got instead was Dan as he always ways, understanding despite his possible own pain, and a lot of hugs and kisses at the end of his message.

Phil sighed and put his phone down. He was being such a dick. He was just disappointed and paranoid and now he felt like he was ruining everything with Dan, but he couldn't make himself stop. He'd meant it when he'd said he just needed some time. He just wanted to calm down, to think straight, to stop being so terrified and letting other people get into his head again.

He’d spent far too much of his life already letting other people dictate how he felt about himself; he shouldn't be letting other people dictate how he felt about Dan, or how Dan felt. They'd been together for two years, the last one long distance, but so far, it had worked out, so what was Phil so afraid of? Depressed as he was, Phil sulked into the living room and crashed on the sofa, turning on the TV that he wasn't even going to watch. It was pushing one pm, and yesterday, Phil had anticipated that he would be seeing Dan by now, get to take him out of a picnic lunch, propose, and then take him back home for some celebrations, but now, he was left with nothing.

As it seemed like Phil was going to take a long time to respond again, Dan decided not to bother him. He'd said he needed some time, and Dan would respect that. Pushing Phil into talking to him would only make matters worse, and that was the exact opposite of what Dan wanted to do today.

He leaned his head back, shoved his headphones in, and closed his eyes, thinking about what his plan was for the day. Obviously Phil was going to be surprised. He probably wouldn't have anything planned for them, so maybe Dan could take them out to dinner and woo him with the necklace, that way Phil wouldn't be so upset that Dan had hidden such a large thing from him. Maybe afterwards they could go back to Phil's flat and fuck around and Dan could show Phil just how much he loved him once again...

He ended up falling asleep to those thoughts, a smile on his face. When he awoke, it was to the overhead speakers calling that they were approaching the station in five minutes.

The afternoon bore on slowly, and if Phil was being honest, rather boringly as well. He missed Dan, like a lot, and he was working on not doing that because thinking of Dan hurt a lot as well. He didn't want to believe that it was possible Dan could possibly be cheating on him, but the signs weren't exactly the most positive ones in Dan's favor, not to mention the fact that he'd seemed to have given up on texting Phil at all, on their anniversary.

The more time that passed, the more Phil was offended at the fact that Dan hadn't even bothered to call him, choosing instead to send a sappy text that suddenly meant nothing. Phil just... Phil just wished Dan hadn't canceled on him, and while he knew under any normal circumstances he would have been much more understanding, all the little signs pointing to something terrible going on where really just far too overwhelming for Phil just then.

He napped, on and off, suddenly grateful his parents weren't home, and dreamt of Dan with his roommate Colby, and all the terrible things they could be getting up to just then.

As soon as the train came to a stop at the correct station, Dan was shooting out of his seat. He slung his luggage over his shoulder, shoved the locket in his pocket, and grabbed the roses. With his other hand, he checked his phone.

Phil still hadn't responded to him, which hurt Dan immensely, but he probably deserved it for the stunt he pulled last night. He knew it would all be okay though. After everything Dan and Phil had been through, this situation was the least of Dan's worries. Once Phil saw him, Dan had no doubt it would make Phil turn to mush.

And vice versa, considering Dan was Phil trash number one. He sped walked in the direction of Phil's house, breathing heavily and even breaking a sweat. Honestly, it probably wasn't smart to wear a long sleeved shirt and jeans on a hot summer day, but Dan wanted to look his best. Phil would just have to deal with a slightly damp Dan and curly hair.

By the time Phil's house came into view, Dan was seriously regretting his clothing choices and in need of some water. It felt like he'd been walking through the fucking desert. It didn't matter though. Nothing mattered anymore, because he was here and Phil was only meters away, and then Dan was knocking on the door - knock, knock, knock - and the entire world fell silent.

Phil was awoken by the sound of a knock on the door, a sound that startled and confused him enough to wonder if he wasn't just having a dream just then. He sat up quickly, though, distressed enough by it to stare around the room, disoriented and confused. Who was knocking on his door and why? He wasn't expecting any visitors except for - Dan. But Dan had said that he wasn't coming, and Phil was almost certain he was spending the day with Colby considering that picture Dan had sent him, and... and... but what if it was Dan? Trying desperately not to get his hopes up, Phil got up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, heading to the front door at a sluggish, disappointed pace. That's why, when he did throw open the door, he was still taken by surprise to find Dan standing before him, dressed to the nines and looked downright exhausted with a bouquet of flowers in his hands and a huge smile on his face. "Surprise!" Dan shouted, to which Phil couldn't help himself - he slammed the door in his boyfriends face.

It took longer than expected for Phil to answer the door, and when he did, Dan noticed how disoriented and tired he seemed. He was dressed in his pyjamas still, his hair all ruffled and mussed from sleep, and he was wearing his glasses. Dan tried not to let himself feel guilty at the sight, grinning brightly and shouting, "Surprise!" like his life depended on it. What Dan didn't expect was for Phil to slam the door in his face. He didn't expect the flash of anger on his boyfriend's face, and he didn't expect to suddenly be an inch away from a closed door. Dan flinched and the smile fell from his face, tears burning in his eyes. "Phil?" Well. Okay then. Dan probably deserved that. He was suddenly terrified, terrified that he'd come all this way for nothing, terrified that Phil didn't want to see him anymore. But... it was their anniversary. He had to try. So he knocked again, to no avail, and rubbed angrily at his watery eyes. Dont cry, dont cry, he repeated to himself as he sat on the steps of Phil's house, putting the flowers beside him and his head in his hands.

Phil's head was spinning, and he could feel himself getting irrationally angry as he stood on the other side of the closed door and just glared at the wood. His eyes were wet, his brow furrowed, and he could hear Dan calling for him, knocking again, but he was just so angry. His hands were shaking and he knew, if he let himself, he'd be crying in an instant. It was just - it was just - why had Dan broken his heart like that? Why had Dan let him believe, even for a second, that he wasn't going to come? Why had Dan let him think that he was cheating on him, when he knew already how insecure Phil could be. Phil, more often than not, didn't even believe that anyone could love him, and here was Dan, on the other side of the door, the love of his life, who'd gone and let Phil believe that Dan didn’t love him either. Gritting his teeth, Phil reached for the doorknob and twisted it back open, practically throwing it in his urgency to get back to Dan. "You're an asshole!" he claimed, even as he felt his own heart break at the sight of Dan sat on his doorstep with his face in his hands.

It seemed like it took hours for Phil to finally open the door, but in reality it was probably only a few minutes. Dan perked up immediately, but he stayed frozen, trying not to let Phil see him crying like the pathetic loser he was. He didn't even know why he was so upset; he should have seen this coming. And when Phil's first words to him were that he was an asshole, Dan couldn't even argue because it was true. "I deserve that," Dan told his boyfriend, and his voice cracked when he did so. Taking a deep breath, Dan stood and turned around to look Phil in the eyes, holding the flowers out with uncertainty. "I wanted to surprise you, but I guess I did that in the worst way possible. I'm sorry, I understand if you don't want to see me right now."

Dan's face was red, particularly his nose, and Phil could hear him sniffling as he turned to look at Phil, eyes wide and a little bit sad. At the very least, he seemed to understand that he'd fucked up, and on their anniversary of all days, because he wasn't trying to defend himself, and he was still offering Phil the flowers he'd got for him. Phil kind of sagged into himself, some of the anger draining away as he took in the fact that not only was Dan actually here, he more than likely was not cheating on him. Reaching out, Phil took the flowers a little bit too aggressively, threw them on the floor behind him, and reached out to drag Dan into his arms for a hug. "You're an asshole," he reiterated, and pressed his face in close to Dan's neck, desperate not to start crying again. "I thought - you're such a bad fucking liar, you made me think you were - you were -" Phil couldn't' even say the words as he clung to Dan, held him close. He couldn't even laugh, because this wasn't funny in the least bit, like he was sure Dan had thought it would be, and while the tension had released in him and he was honestly relieved more than anything, he was still feeling rather crushed. "I hate you," he groaned, and shoved his face harder into Dan's neck.

Phil took the flowers angrily and Dan watched with wide eyes as Phil threw them on the ground. He thought this was it, Phil's had enough of me and doesn't want to see me, but then Phil was dragging him into a tight hug, speaking thickly into his neck, and Dan couldn't help but to feel relieved. He was a piece of shit and they both knew it. The only thing he could do now was let Phil take out all his anger through hissed words. Dan almost wished he'd scream at him, but Phil didn't. Dan thought he deserved it anyways. "You thought I was cheating on you?" Dan finished for Phil gently. He pulled his boyfriend at arms length and held his face gently but firmly in his hands. Phil's eyes were red rimmed and his eyebrows were furrowed, but the anger seemed to be slightly dissipating. "Phil," Dan said. "I would never. I love you. More than anything. Distance isn't going to change that for me. I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to marry you one day, you know," Dan promised softly and with all the love he was feeling.

Phil wasn't exactly happy about it when Dan dragged them apart to instead bracket Phil's face with his hands. He'd much rather be hiding in his neck right now, and it didn't help that the way Dan so gently finished Phil's sentence really hurt him. They'd talked about their friends making fun of their long distance relationship before, had talked about how people liked to tell them that their partner was statistically likely to find someone new and cheat on them while they were away, and they'd talked about how that was never going to be them, so to have Dan so quickly figure out that Phil had still been plagued by fears nevertheless was enough to nearly break him. He felt like a piece of shit for ever having thought so badly of Dan, so having Dan look him in the eye and promise him that he would never do something like that hurt far too much. Of course, then Dan had to go and remind Phil of the friggin engagement ring he had up in his bedroom somewhere, and he felt his heart breaking all over again as the tears started to drip down his cheeks. "Dan," he mumbled, and closed his eyes. "Fuck, I'm sorry, I just - you had told me about your syllabus, and that you were done with everything, and then you sent me a picture this morning and I could see you were with Colby and it didn't look like you were in an art store and I just - I just thought - I thought maybe I wasn't enough anymore," he said, his entire body shaking with the pain of it all. Phil hated that he was always such an insecure mess, the one Dan always had to put back together again. Why couldn't he just - trust?

"Phil," Dan whispered, shaking his head. He wiped the tears from Phil's face with his thumbs, smearing wetness over his pale cheeks. It broke Dan’s heart to see Phil cry like this, all because of him. He never should have taken Colby's advice. He should have done something else to surprise Phil, not one that could have hurt him so so badly. "You'll always be enough for me. I just- I wanted to surprise you for our anniversary and I went about it in a completely different way than I should have." He couldn't believe he'd caused something like this on their anniversary. Why did Phil still want to be with a piece of shit like him? "Colby and I ran to the shops today and he helped me pick out some stuff for you. Or, he tried to help. He's useless, really. But I can see how you thought I'd- I'd have done something like that. I really am a bad liar." Dan looked around sheepishly, noting they were still outside and not wanting anybody else with prying eyes to see their fight. "Why don't we go inside? We can talk more and I can explain better why I'm the worst boyfriend in the world and why you deserve the best of the best."

Phil sniffled a bit. He hated crying so much, hated looking like a mess and being a dick to his boyfriend. Dan had brought him flowers, had tried to surprise him on their anniversary by showing up despite having said that he would not, and while it still hurt and he was still pretty angry that Dan would allow him to think such horrible things by lying to him, he did think it was as pretty amazing gift, in a way. "You asshole," he said again, chuckling this time. "You're not the worst, and I don't want anyone better. I just want you, I thought that was clear," Phil murmured, though he did take Dan's advice to go inside, picking up the flowers Dan had brought him while he was at it and carrying them inside. It was Dan who closed and locked the door behind him, a relief to Phil who headed straight to the kitchen to get a vase for his bouquet. It smelled heavenly, and was really quite a nice thought. Phil's heart ached. He couldn't' believe he'd thought so badly of Dan. He was just turning around to take the flowers back into the lounge when he realized Dan had followed him, looking a bit miserable, and he jumped. "You scared me!" he claimed, putting a hand over his heart. "Don't do that," he berated, and tried for a soft smile.

Dan wanted to tell Phil that he was wrong, that Dan was the worst, because he'd allowed their anniversary turn to shit just because he wanted to 'surprise' Phil. He didn't even have a really good excuse. He was just a dick and that was that. Dan didn't say so out loud though. Instead, he followed Phil into the house, watching as Phil picked up the flowers. He didn't let his eyes wander from his boyfriend, even as he locked the door behind them. Phil had all of his attention, just like he had ever since they first met. He was relieved when Phil pulled out a vase, filling it with water and plopping the flowers into it. Dan was relieved. At least he wasn't throwing them away. He chuckled as Phil jumped when he saw Dan had followed him, but the smile didn't really reach his eyes. Guilt was truly tearing him apart and he didn't quite know what to do with himself. Hell, he hadn't seen Phil in weeks and they still hadn't shared a kiss. Dan was craving that. "Hey, I wanted to make sure you took care of the flowers. Those were expensive you know," he joked weakly.

It was such a weak joke, but it spoke volumes to Phil. He knew exactly what Dan was getting at from the sound of his voice, and the guilt was so real that Phil found himself sighing, turning around, saying fuck it, and leaving the vase on the kitchen counter. "Dan," he said, as he turned back to face him again. Suddenly, Phil felt exhausted. "Dan, stop beating yourself up, okay? I... I freaked out for no reason, I'm sorry. There was no reason for me to think so badly of you, I just... I really wanted to see you. I miss you when you're gone," he explained lamely, staring down at his feet as he stood glumly in front of Dan. "You know how it is. Everyone's always telling me about how we're not going to work out, that you're going to find someone else while you're at uni because I'm not around to keep your attention on me, so when you lied to me I just thought... it's been two years, you've finally had enough of me." Phil sniffled again, and shook his head. "But I should know better. I just - I wish you'd thought of a better surprise than pretending you couldn't come and see me like you promised. I had so many plans -" Phil stopped, then, remembering again the ring up in his bedroom. He wondered after everything had been ruined, if it would be stupid to propose now.

"I know," Dan said honestly. He glanced around the room, trying not to look at Phil. He didn't want phil to feel guilty for Dan's actions. He hadn’t done anything wrong. It was Dan who did this. "I'm not upset with you for thinking that. I know how it is and I get that from my peers a lot too. But I swear, Phil, I'm not going to leave you. Ever. You're kind of stuck with me whether you like it or not." Dan chuckled and found a spot on the wall to stare intensely at. "Colby's just an idiot and I'm an even bigger idiot for taking his suggestion of a surprise." His head snapped up when Phil mentioned he had a lot of plans and he smiled sheepishly. "Well, why can't we do those plans still? I may or may not have a couple more surprises up my sleeve, hopefully ones that are better than my other shitty idea." Dan grinned brightly, waiting a few suspenseful moments before telling Phil his plans. "I managed to talk to my professors, and since I've done all of the work for the next week, they agreed to let me have the rest of this week's classes off." It was currently a Saturday. "So you have me until Sunday morning, unless you'd like to ship me back before then."

Phil's heart was in his throat, and his eyes were wide, because wow, now that was quite the surprise. His mouth quite literally fell open to hear what Dan's plan had been all along, and then, because he couldn't' help himself, he rushed forward and slapped Dan on the shoulder. "You're so stupid!" he groaned, throwing himself at Dan. "God, you absolute idiot, why didn't you just surprise me with that! I thought you were going to have to catch the train tonight, damnit, Dan," he complained, and shoved his face into his neck again. Why was his boyfriend so dumb? He could have just started with that, or, you know, not pretended that Phil couldn't see Dan at all. He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut, though he couldn't seem to keep himself from smiling. "I hate you so much, Dan, God," he complained. He couldn't believe that he was going to have Dan all to himself for practically a week. Even though it really wasn’t much, it felt like everything because more often than not, Dan and Phil got about eight hours maximum with each other a week, and that was on a good week. Nothing could have been better than Dan planning a few days with him, despite school, and Phil just wanted to curl up and hold him tight. If nothing else could have proved to Phil just how much Dan loved him, that had. Slowly, he pulled himself out of Dan's arms with a wide grin, and said "You're not messing with me again, right? LIke, you really can stay, and you sorted it all out before you left?" he asked, just to make sure. Screw his plans, they could talk about those later.

At first, Dan thought Phil was mad again. He nearly had a heart attack when Phil launched himself at him, smacking his shoulder and berating him, and then Phil was just complaining that Dan hadn’t led with this, and Dan knew it was a good surprise. He grinned and laughed, burying his face into Phil's neck and kissing the skin there lightly. "Sorry, sorry! You know I have to be overdramatic. You should have figured I'd make a dumbass out of myself at one point or another today," Dan giggled. He tightened his arms around Phil, basking in the feeling of holding him. "You secretly love me, I know you do." He frowned as Phil asked if Dan was sure, a pang going through his chest at that, but he knew Phil had the right to be cautious now. Dan probably would be too at this point. "I promise. You have me all to yourself for an actual week. No if, ands, or buts. Just me and my sprawling ass taking up more than half of your bed."

Phil relaxed immediately at Dan's reassurances, and sighed, letting himself melt into Dan's embrace and just hold him back. This was the longest they'd ever gone at first seeing each other again without kissing, and Phil was starting to miss it now. Holding Dan was just as amazing, though, and he wasn't ready to give it up just yet, so he didn't, choosing instead to just hold onto Dan for a little bit longer. He should have known; Dan was right, he was always way too over dramatic. "Well, my plans for the day are ruined now. I literally have no time left to prepare..." he trailed off. "I swear to God, Dan, if you ever let Colby or anyone else convince you to do something so dumb ever again, I think I’m going to kill you," he said, and finally pulled back from Dan's neck to smile up at him. Dan had gotten taller again. Dan was getting taller than him by quite a bit, now, enough that Phil could tell at least. That reminder for some reason made him grin, and he leaned up to peck Dan on the chin. "You idiot... did you know you're the only person I can even think of when I'm at school? I don't have eyes for anyone else," he said, sappy as fuck.

Dan didn't have any complaints about holding Phil. He could probably hold him forever, if he was being honest. They were way past due for an embrace, and Dan didn't think he wanted to let go anytime soon. The only reason he would possibly want to move away was if Phil were to kiss him, but he didn't think that was something Phil wanted to do just yet. "Well good thing I have some plans," Dan murmured, nuzzling his face into Phil's hair and breathing in deeply. "I promise I won't do something like that again. I'll make it up to you one way or another." Phil pulled away, looking up at him with a smile that took Dan's breath away. It was strange how short Phil was now, how he could press his lips to Dan's chin without having to bend down anymore. Dan didn't mind, he kind of liked it. "I can only think about you as well. I've only got eyes for you, honestly, and everything I do is for you. I have so much artwork of your face hanging up in my room that it's on the verge of stalkerish, if I'm being honest."

Honestly, Phil was more happy than he could say that Dan had so many pictures of him. Phil had seen it, actually, and Dan often asked Phil to pose for him during skype calls because he apparently needed constant reminders of Phil in his dorm room. It was hard, when he had Danh directly in front of him, to remember why he'd ever thought Dan would cheat on him. Phil sighed. "I'm sorry I'm so insecure. I should know better by now. It's just. This is a huge day," Phil said, and he didn't just mean because it was their two year anniversary. Phil had been planning to propose. He still was, if he could just find that ring... "How bout this," Phil decided suddenly. "Let's make the next eight days all about our anniversary. Then we can celebrate both our plans, and I don't have to feel so bad about mine getting messed up," he declared.

Dan hummed and tightened his arms around Phil's waist. He set his chin on Phil's head and tried to resist the urge to just kiss all of his worries away. He wouldn't kiss Phil unless Phil wanted him to, he didn't want to overstep his boundaries right now. "It's hard to be reminded of that stuff when I'm not with you all the time. Besides, I have stuff to work on too, just like everyone else. I'm too overdramatic and make horrible decisions. It's just something we need to work on together." Dan lightly kissed Phil's hair, swaying them back and forth. It was almost like they were dancing. "I like that idea a lot. We'll start all bright and early tomorrow so we can do your plans, sound good? We have all the time in the world."

Dan was way too wonderful. Phil still had no idea how he had ever gotten so lucky as to get Dan to be his boyfriend. Always understanding, and despite how over dramatic he could be, the most gentle person Phil had ever known. He sighed pressed his face into Dan's neck where Dan had pulled him close, and kissed lightly there. "I love you a lot, you know?" he said gently. "Happy anniversary, since I haven't said it yet. You're... honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don't know what I would do with you," he added, and finally, because he'd been thinking of it for hours now, he pulled away from Dan and leaned up to kiss him, soft and sweet. The feeling of their lips being pressed together again after so, so long of not seeing each other was actually heaven, just as it always was. Phil would never get over how it felt to kiss Dan, and he sighed as their mouths came together, opening himself up to Dan, and just wanting to let Dan have all of him. After a day like today, Phil just wanted to be close to his boyfriend.

"I love you more than you'll ever know," Dan sighed. Phil's words made him smile, made him think that perhaps he didn't fuck up this day nearly as much as he'd thought he had. He was so grateful to have someone like Phil in his life. Someone who loved him and made him feel like he could achieve anything. Someone who loved him despite his bad decisions and overdramatized personality. Even after two years, it was refreshing. Dan would never get tired of being with Phil. "Happy anniversary, love. I can't imagine a future without you and you make me the happiest man alive." Phil leaned up then, a soft smile on his face, and Dan had a moment where he lost his breath just as Phil leaned in to kiss him. Dan melted, putty in Phil's hands. That's what he'd been waiting for all this time, and it was absolutely much needed. Their lips fit together just as they always did, perfectly and in sync. Phil was as soft as ever, holding Dan like he was the most delicate thing in the world, and Dan found that his eyes were wet with emotion. "God, I've missed this," Dan murmured when they pulled back, nuzzling his nose against Phil's.

Phil was reluctant to pull away, as he always was, if he was honest, but he did so because he didn't want to make this kiss about lust. He just wanted to have a moment with his boyfriend, sappy as that was, and sink into him for forever. Dan was Phil's whole world, and he'd missed him so much these past few months. Sighing as their lips parted, Phil's eyes opened slowly, and he frowned to find Dan's eyes wet with tears. "I missed this, too," Phil whispered, reaching up to wipe his fingers under Dan's eyes, towards his nose to catch the few tears that had slipped off there as well. "Hey, shh... don't cry. Aw, Dan... one day soon, we'll be done with school, and then we won't have to be apart anymore," he said, suddenly feeling his own heart break. He hated seeing Dan cry, hated when it was something that Phil couldn't fix for him. "Come here," he whispered, and drew Dan back in for a tight hug. "Don't think about it, okay? Let's just enjoy the next eight days we've got off together. My parents won't be home for another week, we have the house to ourselves... and no one's gonna come around and interrupt us this time. We can have these days completely to ourselves," Phil promised him.

"I'm just sappy and I love you and I want to live together already," Dan whined, pouting. But he let Phil wipe away his tears, let him draw him closer and whisper sweet things into his ear that made Dan feel warm inside. He melted into Phil's embrace and just let him hold him. Today was emotional, more so than Dan thought it would be, but then again he was always sappy as fuck around Phil. "I'll take you up on that, then. I'm glad I could come when your parents are away. I want you all to myself."

Phil could hardly blame Dan for wanting to live together already when Phil wanted nothing but the same. In fact, Phil wanted so much more... he wanted to marry Dan, and even if it did seem early to others, even if it did seem strange to get married but not able to live together just yet... Phil wanted this. Phil wanted to tether himself to Dan already, wanted to feel like this was real, and permanent, and that they were secure. He thought, maybe, it might even make being apart easier, knowing that in the end, their hearts belonged to each other. Yeah... yeah, Phil was still going to propose this weekend, whether it was tonight, or the final night, he didn't care. Grabbing hard around Dan's waist, Phil pulled him in close. "You've got me," he insisted, and leaned in for a more than brief kiss, sighing as their lips came together again. Dan really did look nice today, all dressed up just for Phil. It was really too bad that all Phil wanted was to get him out of those clothes now - or better yet, get Dan to do something with him while they were still on.

"I know I've got you," Dan murmured, and he sighed appreciatively as Phil leaned back in for another kiss. It was different than the last one, not quite as soft but just that little bit more intense. Dan opened himself up to Phil, letting Phil do what he wanted with him. He knew that no matter what, Phil would make him feel good and wanted. He'd missed Phil so much that he would pretty much jump him right here and now if he had the chance. But they were still in the kitchen, and Dan didn't think that was very sanitary. So instead he bit down on Phil's bottom lip before sucking on it, soothing it over with his tongue. Phil made a small noise into the kiss and Dan used this to his advantage to slide his tongue past his lips. He explored Phil's mouth in just the way he knew Phil liked, running his hands down his sides and just feeling.

It wasn't fair. It was never fair how Dan could make him feel. A jolt of arousal surged through Phil at the feeling of Dan biting his lip only to lick into his mouth immediately after, hands rubbing down Phil's sides. Phils stomach clenched, and he reached for Dan, grabbing at his hips and pulling him closer still. It was so hard being away from Dan so often, so hard having to feel his absence. They used to go at it pretty often as well, holding a healthy sex life, and while they still sometimes had skype sex, Phil missed this, being able to feel Dan under his hands. Before he could stop himself, he was running his hands up under Dan"s shirt, just to touch him. "You had plans," he gasped, pulling back from Dan's gorgeous mouth the tiniest bit. "If you don't want to wait, I suggest you stop before I shove you onto this kitchen counter and get you back for lying to me."

Even though they'd been together for two years now, kissing Phil was always a new experience. Sure, he knew the things that Phil liked, knew what got Phil to tick, but he learned something new about Phil every day. He would never, ever get tired of this. Phil pulled away far too soon, his lips cherry red and his pupils blown wide with arousal. Dan was there too. He hadn't been touched like this in weeks, so even just kissing was enough to make Dan sport a semi. He felt like he was sixteen again, getting aroused at every moment possible. "My plans definitely include getting into your trousers one way or another, so I wouldn't have any objections if you shoved me onto the counter now," Dan teased lightly, kissing the tip of Phil's nose when he pouted. "But you're right. I have a few tricks down my sleeve. I did want to give you something first, though, to celebrate our anniversary." He stepped out of Phil's arms and turned to where he'd laid his backpack on the ground, digging through it until he found it. When he did, he handed it to Phil, grinning. "Happy two years! This is a scrapbook thing I made for you. Except I took pictures we had of ourselves and recreated them in drawings and painting, so it was a bit more special." He watched as Phil opened the first page, pointing at the first picture. It was a painting he'd replicated of the picture his parents had taken before their first date together. "There's a bunch of them in there. I really hope you like it."

Phil shuddered and closed his eyes at that, disappointed when Dan pulled away, but also really excited for whatever Dan had planned for him. Of course, when Dan turned to pull something out of the bag Phil hadn't even realized he had, he wasn't expecting the scrap book handed to him. His eyes had gone wide before he had even opened the first page. But the second that he did, his jaw dropped open and he nearly started crying all over again. Somehow, with all the work that Dan had been doing for school, he'd somehow also managed to do all this, as we, paintings and drawings of all the special moments of their lives, with the first one being that of their first date. "Dan," Phil said, voice choked up with emotion. "How...?" he asked

Dan knew that Phil liked it by the way his voice got all choked up, how his eyes were wide and he seemed as if he was going to burst into tears at any given moment. A burst of pride rushed through Dan at that. He was happier than he could ever explain that Phil liked this present, and he was excited to give Phil his other presents too. But not yet. Those could wait until later. "I stayed up late a lot of nights and started working on my projects as soon as I got them. If I had an hour between classes, I would skip lunch and go straight to the studio to work on that. Took me about two months and I nearly didn't get it finished in time, but I'm glad I did." Dan smiled down at Phil. "Like it?" he asked, even though he already knew the answer.

Phil didn't know whether to thank Dan again, or smack him for putting himself through that for Phil. He was too busy staring at his scrap book as he slowly flipped through to do much of anything though, the tears quite suddenly overflowing and cascading down his cheeks. Finally, about three pages into the scrap book, flipping past a photo of their first weekend together ever outside of camp, Phil slowly looked back up at Dan. "You promised you were looking after yourself. That isn't looking after yourself," he complained, sniffling. "Of course I like it, you idiot. It's amazing," he whispered, and turned his attention back down to the art sat open in his palms. If he could, he would stroke his fingers over it, but he was struggling to hold it enough as it was. His hands were shaking. His present suddenly didn't seem to add ip to this at all, despite the price. This was - "Priceless. This is priceless, Dan, I can't -" Phil closed the book carefully, placing it down on the table, and threw himself back into Dan's arms again. "Thank you so much."

Phil had started to cry - actually cry, tears of joy - and it made Dan's heart swell in his chest. He reached for Phil, but Phil was still looking through the scrapbook and he didn't want to interrupt him. So instead he let his hand just reach out and stroke Phil's cheek, gathering the wetness there. "I was taking care of myself. Besides, I think you're more important than a few less hours of sleep each night. It was worth it, and I’d do it a hundred times over again if it would make you happy." The words were so fucking cheesy, but Dan didn't care. It was their anniversary. He was allowed to be cheesy, dammit. Phil was back in his arms then, and Dan let him snuggle into his chest. He would gladly throw away all of his plans just for this, if he was honest. "I'm glad you like it so much. Can we - can we just go lay down and cuddle for a bit?" Dan asked, squeezing Phil tightly. "I just want to be with you like this for a bit. My small plans can wait for a bit longer. I just wanna hold you."

There was nothing Phil could want more than to have Dan holding him, and he found himself smiling and nodding into Dan's hold in no time. He still couldn't get over just how much taller Dan suddenly was, and sighed into his embrace. "Yes, please," he agreed softly. "I'd really like that," he added, any sense of arousal temporarily gone from the inordinately sweet anniversary present Dan had gotten for him. Phil didn't know how he was going to explain he'd spent all of his spare money on an engagement ring and was therefore unable to offer Dan any other presents. "God, I love you," he said, before finally pulling away and taking Dan's hand in his. The scrap book could wait. Phil had more important concerns right now, and that included taking Dan up to his bedroom for a cuddle; so he did just that, dragging Dan along with him upstairs before collapsing onto his bed in Dan's arms. "I think you're forgiven with a present like that," he said. "As long as you promise nothing is ever gonna happen with your stupid roommate," Phil added, half teasing.

"I love you too," Dan replied easily and with feeling, allowing himself to be dragged to Phil's room. When they got there, he raised his eyebrows at the mess that was Phil's room. It looked like he'd literally pulled all of his things out of his drawers and just left them on the floor. "Damn, you really let yourself get out of hand, Phil," Dan sighed dramatically, giggling but allowing Phil to tug him into his bed. This was all he wanted, truly, and he sunk into Phil's arms easily. With his new height, it was a bit harder and stranger to lay his head on Phil's chest, but he still managed, listening to Phil's heartbeat thrumming calmly. "I won't. Colby's an even bigger idiot than I am so you don't have anything to worry about." Dan leaned his head up and kissed Phil's chin. "I'm all yours, Prince Charming."

Phil's heart nearly stopped when he remembered the fact that his room was a mess, and that he'd tossed the soft, velvet box of his engagement ring onto the floor last night, where Dan could potentially find it if worse came to worse, and stilled in his arms on the bed, hoping and praying that despite the fact that his room was a mess, it would be for the best, so Dan wouldn't find Phil's present early. He was determined to have his romantic picnic date before he popped the question, determined to wait until the sex was out of their systems a bit more so they could just focus on the romance of being together, and so when Dan leaned up and kissed his chin, calling him Prince Charming, Phil felt himself relax. "Is that who I am to you?" he murmured, kissing the top of Dan's head. He'd always enjoyed being the one to curl around Dan, and Dan was making it so he could, despite his new height. "I think I could get used to being your Prince Charming if you'll be mine."

"You've always been my Prince Charming," Dan said conversationally. He grinned into Phil's chest as Phil kissed his head, making his heart do that weird flutter that it always did whenever Phil did something exceptionally sweet. Phil really was his Prince Charming, considering the way they'd met and Dan had fallen head over heels for him. "Think about it. I was straight until you came along - the prettiest boy I've ever seen - and you swept me right off my feet. You definitely have the charm of a prince as well." Dan laughed, shaking his head as Phil told him that Dan had to be his Prince Charming as well. "I think I'm more of a damsel in distress, considering half the time we talk on the phone I'm always crying about my art homework."

Phil should have been expecting this to get sappy fast, considering it was their anniversary, and yet, when Dan started complimenting him, he couldn't help feeling himself blush and want to hide, something warm and sudden curling in his belly. His heart was doing those crazy little flips it always did when Dan talked about just how much he loved Phil, and he found himself squirming a little bit under Dan. "Stop," he whined, the sound soft and breathy and full of adoration despite it all. "I did not sweep you off your feet," he denied, even though it very much so felt like he had. "I love you, so much," he added for good measure, and kissed Dan once more on the head. His lips quirked down to have Dan say he was a damsel in distress, though, and he squeezed his arms more tightly around Dan. "That's not true. Even Prince Charming's have to cry sometimes. Besides, school is hard. You can't blame yourself for having a rough time sometimes. You work so hard, Dan," Phil murmured to him, the way he always did, only for once, he could actually hold Dan like he normally wanted to but couldn't. It was a reaffirming feeling. Phil was happy for it. "You're the strongest person I know."

Dan giggled as Phil grew embarrassed by his compliments, beginning to squirm under Dan like he always did when he got slightly overwhelmed by Dan's utter cheesiness. Dan just couldn't help it, though, if he was being honest. Phil was easy to compliment, and Dan was just so utterly in love with him that it made compliments very easy to provide. "You did sweep me off my feet though!" Dan exclaimed, laughing. "And I love you too." Phil kissed Dan's head once more and Dan felt warmth in his entire body again. He just couldn't believe how far they'd gotten, if he was being honest. From when they first met at the young age of sixteen to being in university, Dan wanted nothing more than to celebrate what they had between them. It was a good thing, despite all of the hiccups, and it was definitely worth the long distance. Dan groaned though, when Phil brought up school. "Art is hard considering I'm going to probably be a starving artist," Dan muttered, shaking his head. He was smiling nonetheless though, because Phil was here and Phil made him feel good. He tilted his head up to look at Phil, smirking. "When I'm out of a job and have to stay at home with the kids, I fully expect you to provide for our family," Dan teased, laughing loudly as Phil smacked him lightly on the back to hush him.

Phil smacked at Dan, scoffing at him and nuzzling at him all at the same time, uncaring that Dan seemed to think he wasn't going to get anywhere with his art. Phil knew better; Dan was a truly stunning artist, and even if it did take a little while for Dan to get his feet off the ground, Phil knew he'd manage it. Still. "I promise to keep you on your feet with my teacher's salary when we get there, but only if you promise to let me retire early once you start making millions." Phil laughed, knowing that he'd never want to give up teaching if he got to talk about astronomy and the stars and space all day, but the teasing was well meaning regardless. He knew Dan's concerns were sincere, despite Phil not expecting them to ever be a problem. There were so many ways Dan could make a living with his art, and Phil believed in him completely.

"I'll be the new age Van Gogh," Dan joked. "Except hopefully I start making money before I die." He sighed, nuzzling his face into Phil's chest. He honestly didn't like to think about his future with art too much, just because he didn't know what he wanted to do with it yet. He did have somewhat of an idea, thinking that perhaps he would like to work with an animation company at some point, but most of the major companies like Adult Swim and Disney were in the United States. He didn't know if Phil would be down to moving all the way across the planet just so Dan could pursue a career with one of those companies. Instead of voicing his concerns right now, he just leaned up and pressed his lips to Phil's, sighing as their lips moulded together once more. Kissing Phil was his favourite thing in the entire world.

Phil didn't really get a chance to reply to Dan before Dan was leaning up and kissing him once more, and really, who was Phil to deny him that? It seemed like a natural, necessary end to their conversation regardless, something they both needed right then so they could get back to their happy anniversary rather than stressing about their futures. They did enough of that already, so Phil shifted so Dan could move to straddle him, lay on top of him, and threaded his own fingers through the back of Dan's chestnut hair, just to tug him close and because he liked the feeling of his fingers buried there. He'd missed touching Dan like this so much.

Always giving Dan what he wanted, Phil adjusted him so he was no longer buried into Phil's chest, but rather straddling him. Dan's legs were on either side of Phil's thighs and he was leaning down so his arms were braced around Phil's head, kissing him softly. Dan let out a pleased sigh when Phil threaded his fingers through his hair, loving the way he just ran his fingers through his hair, how it made Dan relax and completely melt. "Missed you so much," Dan mumbled against Phil's lips before attaching his lips back to Phil's without giving him a chance to speak. He didn't want Phil to be speaking right now. He just wanted to be kissed until he couldn't breathe, damn it.

Phil didn't get a chance to reply to Dan before Dan was kissing him all over, sighing against Phil's mouth and situating himself a little more comfortably on top of Phil. So far gone for his boyfriend, Phil didn't even mind, and found himself returning the kiss a bit more passionately than Dan might have actually wanted right then. To be fair, though, Dan and Phil had a tendency to fall into making out intently on whatever surface was available when they were finally able to see each other again. Phil let one hand stay in Dan's hair as they kissed, licking into Dan's mouth with intent, while he let the other trail down over his back until he found the hem. He rucked that up with his hand, wanting to touch Dan properly, and stroked over the soft, tanned skin he found there lightly, nails scratching because Dan liked that, and because Phil wanted to mark Dan up as all his all over again. He was panting into the kiss before long, moaning as he turned his head to get in deeper, caressing Dan's tongue with his own and mouthing against him aggressively, fingers twisting in his hair and pulling him even closer still. Dan had a semi - Phil could feel it pressing into his stomach, and he used his touch on Dan's back to press him down harder, press him in deeper against Phil's body, rolling his own upwards so that Dan could feel his own semi pressing into his thigh.

The kiss went from zero to a hundred really quick, and Dan didn't mind in the slightest. He always liked to kiss Phil, always liked anything that Phil wanted to do with him, so he wasn't going to complain when Phil suddenly seemed to want just that little bit more. Because truth be told, Dan wanted that too. He wanted to finally feel Phil against him, to get their naked skin touching, to feel Phil pushing into him once again. It had been far too long since Dan had had sex, and it was obvious. As soon as Phil was running his hands against the skin of his back, sliding his tongue past Dan's lips to explore his mouth, Dan knew he was a goner. He was breathing heavily, panting, and whining each time Phil scraped his nails down his back. Dan knew what Phil was doing. He was marking him up, just in the way they both liked, that way Dan would have long red lines down his back. Phil pushed his hand down on Dan's lower back, forcing his hips down so Dan was grinding his growing hard on into Phil's, and it made a shock go up Dan's spine. He groaned rather loudly at the feeling of Phil's own erection pressing up against his own. He needed this, more than he had originally thought. "I want you," Dan whispered hotly, trailing kisses down Phil's jawline and sucking a mark into the sensitive skin of his neck.

Phil wasn't particularly happy about Dan removing their mouths from each other, but if the exchange was Dan mouthing along his throat instead, he was hardly one to complain. Not to mention Dan was asking him for more, very clearly and obviously desperate for Phil's body pressed to his. Groaning a bit at the way Dan scrabbled against him, readjusting and grinding their hips together all over again, Phil tightened his hold on Dan and arched his own neck. "You have me," he growled, "So do with me what you will." At that, Dan bit down into Phil's neck, marking him up, and Phil used his fingers in Dan's hair to pull his head back, both of their eyes half lidded as they stared at each other. Dan was panting, the sound harsh in the quiet of Phil's room, desperate, and enough to almost make Phil want to really get him undone. There were so many things that Phil wanted to do to Dan, so many filthy things, and before he knew it, he found himself rolling them both over until he had Dan pinned underneath him, his wrists in a hold over his head, and Phil's hand rucking up his shirt past his nipples, but not bothering to take it off. "Have me," Phil whispered to him, before leaning in to press his own lips over Dan's naked chest, biting and sucking at the skin there to leave his mark.

Dan growled low in his throat and bit down hard on the skin of Phil's neck. He liked the way Phil told him that he had him, that he could do what he wanted with him, and he did just that, biting and sucking until Phil grabbed his hair to pull him away. He knew he looked wrecked, just as Phil did too. They were both thriving on lust at this point, on the lust that they couldn't release just by masturbation alone. It was then that Phil was flipping him over, pinning him down. His hands were soft but demanding when they lifted up his shirt, and Dan just wanted to scream at him, to tell him to do something, anything, but Phil was just staring at him, telling Dan that he could have him. Finally, Phil was lowering his mouth, giving Dan the same treatment on his chest as Dan gave to Phil's neck. He whimpered loudly, his hips bucking erratically, and he tried to lace his fingers through Phil's hair, except Phil was suddenly pushing him down, holding his wrists in place and making it so he couldn't move anything but his hips. "Phil," Dan groaned, his eyes fluttering shut.

The way Dan said Phil's name would always make arousal shoot through him unlike ever before, and he made a low whining sound in the back of his throat as he continued his ministrations on Dan's naked upper body. All this skin, unblemished, unmarked, all laid out before him for Phil to claim all over again. The lust was purely taking over now. All he wanted was to have Dan, as he nipped and sucked, scraped his teeth down Dan's skin, moved to his bellybutton to suck at the hole he always abused. He mouthed over Dan, sucked at him, dipped his tongue into that small little spot, his hands releasing Dan's wrists so he could reach down and push Dan's hips into the bed. Dan's hands tangled into his hair, but Phil didn't mind, nipping at Dan all over again before pulling away, staring up at his boyfriend with lust tinged eyes, his pupils blown. "I fucking missed you," he managed to growl, his dick twitching in his pants, fully hard now. All he wanted was Dan, he just didn't know in what way, this time. Making love would have to come at another time - all of a sudden, Phil was far too swept up in the passion to take this slow, and he dug his fingers into Dan's jeans, his boxers, and yanked them both down, the button popping on its own and the zipper coming down too.

Over the years, Phil had gotten way too good with his mouth. He knew exactly how to make Dan moan and writhe under him, knew all of the soft spots to suck to make Dan keen. It was wonderful. Phil was wonderful. And Dan just wanted nothing more but to have Phil right here and right now. "I missed you too," Dan managed to gasp out, and then his trousers were gone, his dick springing free as Phil tugged his boxers down as well. He was naked from his waist beneath Phil, staring up at his boyfriend hungrily as he struggled a bit with his own clothes. Dan was still wearing his shirt, but he didn't mind. He always liked to give Phil the power to choose what he did with him. Even when Dan was the one fucking Phil, topping on those rare occasions, he usually liked for Phil to call the shots, just because it made him so happy to have Phil do what he wanted. That alone turned him on more than anything else in the world. "Hurry up," Dan whined, noting Phil's hesitation as he raked his eyes down his body. "I'm not gonna fuck myself you know, Phil."

Phil groaned. He'd been doing his best to get his clothes off now that he'd gotten Dan as stripped as he'd wanted him, but he’d hesitated because he'd been unsure how they were going to do this. Apparently, Dan was all for getting fucked tonight, so Phil groaned, and climbed over Dan for his bedside drawer. "You sure?" he asked. "I could - anything you want, Dan," he insisted, even as he pulled out the lube and a condom, unsure what exactly Dan wanted but wanting to be prepared with everything.

Phil seemed unsure of his actions, which made Dan roll his eyes playfully. Usually, Phil was so sure of what he wanted, so positive, telling Dan how he wanted him, when he wanted him, and who was getting fucked that night. But apparently, Dan was going to have to take his own initiative and say what he was thinking. Dan shook his head as Phil pulled out the condom, plucking it out of his hands. "No," he said simply, tossing it to the side and looking at Phil with a half question in his eyes, as if asking is this okay? "I want to feel you. All of you." And then Dan thought, he wanted to try something new, something for the special occasion. Then he had an idea and his eyes lit up. "Phil. Do you have that blindfold and the handcuffs we bought a while ago and never used?"

The condom was gone, ripped from Phil's hands, before he could even think to rip it open, and he stared nearly astonished as he looked at Dan. They'd only barebacked a few times now, and it was usually really messy. While Phil liked it well enough, something that ignited the desperate, possessive urges deep inside of him, he'd never been sure if Dan liked it that much, so to have Dan being the one to suggest they do it bare this time was completely new. To be fair, Phil had kind of left the decision making to Dan for once. Of course, nothing could top the way Dan asked for the blindfold and the handcuffs they had bought and never used before, and Phil felt a surge of arousal so hot rush through him then that he groaned as he scrambled from the bed and onto his hands and knees to find the items he'd tossed under his bed so long ago. "One - second," he gasped, bare bum high in the air as he searched.

It made Dan laugh slightly at how surprised Phil was when he took the condom away and demanded they have sex without it. It wasn't like they'd not done it bareback before so it wasn't like Dan was asking something particularly strange, but that was just it. Dan was usually not the one to initiate things, and Phil was insecure about how Dan felt having cum in his ass, so Dan understood. Truth be told, he liked it a lot. Loved it, even. He liked the feel of Phil sliding into him with no barrier between them, liked the warmth that spread through him when Phil came inside of him. Fuck, he was leaking just thinking about it. And then Phil was bending over, putting his bare ass in the air, and Dan's mind went blank. He just stared. Phil's ass was the definition of perfection, round and plump and pale, and Dan loved to grab it, to smack it, to make it turn a bright red colour. He couldn't hold himself back when he stood up, coming to stand behind Phil, and slapped his boyfriend's ass. And just because he could, he grinded his hard cock on the soft skin, groaning deep in his throat. "So fucking pretty, Phil," Dan murmured, bending over so he could press a kiss to Phil's spine. "When you bend over like that, you're the one practically begging to be fucked."

Oh. Phil's eyes were wide, and he actually shot up, narrowly avoiding hitting his head on the bottom of his bed as he came out with the blindfold and the handcuffs he and Dan had bought, surprised by how much he'd just liked the feeling of Dan spanking him, grinding into him with his cock all hard and leaking already, and suddenly, he was throbbing for exactly that, the way it felt to have Dan pressed all deep inside of him, making him feel so, so fucking good. Everything Phil did with Dan was good, but he rarely bottomed, though when he did, it was always amazing. Despite Dan's earlier obvious desire to get fucked, Phil suddenly wanted nothing more than to have Dan in him instead, all bare so he could mark his territory coming inside of Phil. Phil shuddered at the idea of it, at the idea of using Dan like that, all tied up for him while Phil fucked himself on his boyfriends cock. "Fuck," he muttered, tossing the items onto his bed in front of him, and stood to turn and grab Dan's hips. "Fuck me, then," Phil growled, slamming their mouths together roughly. "Let me use you, Dan, all tied up for me," he groaned into the kiss, and bit down on Dan's lip, grinding his dick up and into Dan's body, head turned awkwardly as Dan reached to hold him back.

The moment where everything clicked into place and Phil realised what Dan was insinuating was both torturous and hilarious. Dan was slightly unsure of himself, if Phil even wanted to be fucked, but the way that Phil's eyes bugged out was way too cute. And then Phil snapped, cursing under his breath as he threw the items on the bed. Dan nearly wasn't ready when Phil crushed their lips together in a heated kiss, one that left Dan gasping for air and wanting more. Phil was nipping at his lips, grinding into him and speaking dirty words that made Dan feel like he was going to cum right then and there. He didn't though, instead grabbing Phil's hips and grinding roughly into him, moaning as their bare cocks pressed tight together. He was still wearing his shirt, which was strange, but that didn't seem to matter now. "Tie me up, Phil. Use my cock like one of those vibrators you have when I can't be here to fuck you." Phil was pushing Dan back onto the bed, and even though he was topping tonight, Dan still felt like Phil was somehow still the one in charge. "Let me fill you up and feel how tight you are around me."

God, God, Dan's mouth was going to be the death of him. Phil could feel his skin growing hotter and hotter with every word, his body aching to have Dan pressed deep inside of him, and all he could do was moan as he managed to maneuver the two of them until Dan had fallen back flat on his bed. He could still remember the night's he'd ached for Dan, buying a vibrator off the internet to be delivered to him discreetly so he could fuck himself on camera for Dan, loving the way Dan's mouth fell open to see Phil straddling the black silicone deftly. The colour had reminded Phil of Dan, and while he sometimes used it to press against his own dick, the vibration settings enough for him to pretend he was rutting against Dan, he did actually use it to fuck himself from time to time as well. Having Dan remind him of that made Phil's hole clench in desperate desire, and as he climbed on top of Dan to straddle him, he grabbed the blindfold as well. "Fuck, Dan. Wanna use you so bad. Gonna let me?" he asked, desperate and horny. They'd never done this before; never had Dan been at Phil's complete mercy until now, and he felt like he was going to burst with it.

"I can't wait to have you using my cock to get off," Dan agreed, watching with bright eyes as Phil grabbed the blindfold. Before he allowed Phil to put it on, he dragged him into another kiss, slipping his tongue past Phil's lips to taste him. His hands explored the rest of Phil's body, so warm and soft on top of him, and he pressed his fingertips all over Phil's sides and hips because he knew that he wouldn't be able to do so later on. He was excited, his body practically vibrating as he thought about Phil's body sucking him up, allowing Dan to mark him as his own. He groaned and fell back, panting, watching as Phil raised the blindfold once again. "Do you want me to finger you first?" Dan asked, seriously. The last thing he wanted was to have Phil hurting because they didn't properly prepare him first. "Or are you going to finger fuck yourself for me?"

The kiss was heated, and everything that Phil had not realized he'd needed. He could feel his dick pulsing already with want, with a desperate need to get off, aching where it rested on Dan's belly, and his mouth was open and willing with the way Dan kissed him, but he wanted more too, and as Dan pulled away, stopping Phil before he could put the blindfold on him, Phil realized one crucial defect to his plan. He was not going to let himself be fucked before he'd been properly prepared - but how did he want it? If he finger fucked himself for Dan, it wouldn't be worth it if Dan was wearing a blindfold already and couldn't see him, nor could Dan finger fuck him for him if he was blind to the world, so Phil dropped said blindfold onto Dan's chest and grabbed for the bottle of lube, shoving it into Dan's waiting hands and leaning back in to kiss him. "Get me ready for you. Want to stuff myself with your cock."

The words that came out of Phil's mouth were filthy, and the thoughts that flooded Dan's mind afterwards were even filthier. Dan grabbed the lube eagerly, his mind focused on Phil's pretty ass and how he'd be able to bury himself in it. Better yet, he'd be completely in Phil's control, unable to do anything as Phil used him to get off. It was perfect, and so so sexy. Dan couldn't fucking wait. But he also couldn't speed this up, knowing that he'd have to take the proper time to stretch Phil because he wasn't used to it like Dan was. "Gonna make you feel so filled up," Dan purred mindlessly, squirting some of the lube omto his fingers and warming it up. Then he pressed Phil closer to him by the small of his back with his clean hand, a lubed finger prodding at Phil's waiting hole. "Ready?" Dan asked gently.

It was always one of the best feelings in the world to have Dan pressing Phil’s body down on top of him, until their chest and stomachs were pressed together, Phil's cock trapped between them, Dan's nearly pressed aligned with his. It was even better to feel Dan's fingers pressing to his desperate rim, and when Dan asked him if he was ready, all gentle and kind the way he always was, Phil groaned and shoved himself backwards, crying out softly when Dan's' finger pressed inside of him surprisingly deep. "Fuck, fuck," Phil whined, the stretch burning, and not in the best way. He knew it was his own damn fault, but he couldn't' help burying his face into Dan's neck and biting down lightly to keep himself from crying. "Keep - keep going," he insisted despite it all, "Please."

Dan gasped as Phil pressed back without any warning, Dan's finger completely disappearing inside of him, sucked in by Phil's body. Almost immediately, Phil was clenching around him so tightly that Dan knew it had to hurt, and he pressed light peppered kissed around the bare skin of Phil's shoulders. "Phil," Dan reprimanded, shaking his head softly. He could tell that Phil was in pain and he wasn't going to just finger Phil through it. He needed his boyfriend to enjoy this too. "I need you to relax for me, babe. I'll keep going when you're not in pain, okay? I don't want to hurt you." He soothed one hand over Phil's back, guiding it towards Phil's hair to brush his fingers through it. All the while, he mouthed along Phil's collarbones, trying his damnedest to distract Phil enough to keep going like they both wanted.

Phil should have known better. Dan always refused to do anything that might possibly hurt Phil, just the same as Phil always refused to do the same to Dan, and so when Dan shook his head against Phil's, whispering soft, sweet words to him, Phil could do nothing but try and listen to him. The feeling of Dan's mouth on his collarbones, his hand brushing up Phil's back and into his hair. was helping with the tenseness immensely, and, after a short while, once the initial surprise and shock at the pain of Dan penetrating him so quickly had faded, Phil managed to relax himself, unclench so that Dan could prepare him properly. "Okay," he exhaled softly, moaning against Dan's skin when he started to move his fingers slowly, carefully. Phil eagerly went to match his movements, but Dan wasn't not having any of it, his hand in Phil's hair moving swiftly down his body to still his hips with a hand on his lower back. Phil whimpered, but stopped moving nonetheless. If he wanted to get fucked senseless by Dan, wanted to use his boyfriend, he needed to be good right now.

It took a while for Phil to relax around Dan's finger, but that was okay. Dan didn't mind at all. He wanted Phil to enjoy this and have just as much fun as Dan was about to have. He didn't want to rush and hurt Phil just because he was too excited to get Phil on his cock. So Dan waited, kissing all over Phil's skin and petting him with his free hand. Eventually, Phil relaxed, beginning to push his hips back onto Dan's finger, but Dan wasn't having it. He wanted Phil to be at his command, just for a little bit. So with his free arm, he wrapped it around Phil's hips, stilling him firmly in place. "Patience, Phil," Dan murmured, Phil's answering whimper sending a shock of arousal to his cock. He shivered as he started to work his finger in and out of Phil's hole, the tightness of Phil's body driving Dan insane. When Phil had seemed to relax enough, Dan then added his middle finger to slide in alongside his index. He groaned as Phil clenched tighter around him, moving slowly so he could get past that tight ring of muscles and start making Phil feel really good.

The moment that Dan entered the second finger, Phil felt his entire body go taut with desire again, and he knew that was wrong. He needed to relax if he wanted to enjoy this, if he wanted Dan to continue to finger him open, if he wanted to use Dan's cock and get himself off with Dan all tied up for him, but it was hard. It felt so good, and at the same time, it hurt because he couldn't unclench, and he just wanted to get to the good part already. So he huffed, and he panted, and he tried to relax his body on top of Dan's, and he stilled until he could feel himself opening up to Dan. Dan took that as his cue to start pressing in deeper, his fingers searching, and crooking, looking for that spot inside that Phil loved so much, and - there, there it was. Phil moaned, loud in Dan's ear, and bit down at his shoulder as Dan started to abuse that spot with his fingers, making Phil's legs spasm with pleasure and his cock twitch with desire against Dan's belly. "Please," he whined, squeezing his eyes shut and rocking his hips.

"Relax," Dan whispered, though he knew it probably wouldn't help very much just to speak to Phil. Still, he murmured calming words in Phil's ear despite that. He could tell that Phil was turned on, leaking precum onto Dan's belly, and Dan could feel his thighs shaking with the effort not to push down onto Dan's fingers. Dan just held him down with his arm, making sure that Phil couldn't move and hurt himself anymore. He, more than anyone, knew how hard it could be to control yourself when you were so overcome with arousal. Finally, Phil opened up to him once more and Dan let out a little huff of triumph. He started to work his fingers in deeper, crooking his fingers and scissoring them open until he found that spot inside of Phil that made Phil moan loudly and bite down on his shoulder. It kind of hurt, but it was more of a turn on than anything, knowing that Phil was so overcome with pleasure that he resorted to such an animalistic action. He started to rub his fingers repeatedly over Phil's prostate, abusing it, making sure that Phil was open enough that he would be able to fit a third finger inside of him. "I can't wait to get my cock in your pretty little hole," Dan growled in Phil's ear, scissoring his fingers just that much more. Phil was rocking his hips despite Dan's hold on him, and Dan let him because it made Phil's cock brush against Dan's deliciously, and he needed the friction more than anything. "You're so tight, Phil, you're going to feel so good around me."

It wasn't rare for Dan to dirty talk to Phil, no, that was rather common, even. Dan liked to talk just as much as Phil did, but it was rare for Dan to be quite so dominant, rare for Dan to be praising Phil and calling him pretty and suggesting that he was going to feel so good sitting on Dan's cock. It was rare because even when Dan was being dominant in anyway, he was being a bossy bottom, very much so unlike how he was acting now - but now was just as much of a turn on as anything else ever was, and Phil sunk into Dan, licking at his neck and sucking the skin there as he turned his head because he needed some way to show just how good Dan was making him feel, and his vocal chords were currently all tied up with his uneven breathing, making it impossible for him to speak. He started to fuck Dan's fingers in earnest, then, desperate for more, mind spinning with just how overwhelmingly good it felt to have Dan touching him like this, and spread his legs a little as his dick started to rub against Dan's, his body trying to prepare itself for what was coming - his boyfriends really quite beautiful dick. "'Nother," he managed to gasp against Dan's skin where he was still mouthing against him.

For once, Dan decided to listen to Phil. He hummed appreciatively as Phil's hole sucked his fingers in deeper before trying to press a third one inside. As usual, there was some resistance, but Phil seemed to be so overwhelmed with pleasure that Dan didn't have nearly as much trouble this time. The anticipation was killing Dan, making his dick throb, and he rocked his hips to stimulate both of them. His free hand trailed down and grabbed Phil's ass, spreading his cheek so he could press his fingers just a little bit deeper. "Feel good?" Dan hummed, drawing Phil in for another heated kiss.

Did it feel good? Didn't Dan know? Of course he knew, he'd been in the exact same situation as Phi a million times over, now. He should know just how amazing Phil felt right now, and it wasn't' helped by Dan spreading his ass cheeks further apart to get his fingers more properly inside of Phil. Phil couldn't help the way he whined against Dan's mouth, unable to focus on the kiss other than to lick at Dan distractedly. Was there three fingers inside of him now? Phil wasn't sure, but Dan was scissoring him, pressing in deep,stroking along his prostate every chance that he got, stimulating Phil until Phil could feel his cock leaking with the need to come. His dick twitched on Dan's, he could feel Dan leaking in return, twitching and pulsing underneath him, and then, rather suddenly, the coil of tight heat in Phil's stomach burst to release, and Phil dragged himself from Dan with a terrified groan. "Stop, stop, stop," he mumbled, getting Dan's fingers out of him and scrambling off of him with one hand fisted tightly over his cock. He groaned at the stimulation, squeezed, made it hurt, fought off the incoming orgasm, and hated himself for how close he'd come. "Fuck," he said. They hadn't been together in so long... "Sorry, sorry, didn't want to - to come yet. Want you inside of me first."

Dan was being brutal with Phil, and he knew it, but he didn't want to let up. He liked making Phil a right mess on top of him, liked to show Phil just how good he made Dan feel all the time. So when Phil pulled off, his face flushed red, his cock twitching as he squeezed the base, Dan wasn't surprised. He sat up, shaking his head lightly and smiling. "Don't apologize, love. We haven't seen each other in forever." Dan was careful not to touch Phil in any way other than to press his lips to Phil's cheek sweetly. "Do you think you're stretched enough? You can tie me up while you calm yourself down a bit, that way you can take a break."

Phil was definitely stretched enough. Even now, he could feel it, this strange sense of openness, strange sense of emptiness that always came after Dan had been with Phil this way. He was huffing as he tried to agree with Dan, though, still clutching his cock roughly in his hands to keep himself from coming. "Yeah. Yeah, yeah wanna... wanna do that," Phil finally managed to say, and stood to grab the handcuffs and the blindfold. He was shaking from his near orgasm, but he still managed to get the handcuffs out and undone, taking Dans hands in his gently and asking to make sure nothing was too tight as he tied Dan up. They played with the give, made sure Dan would not get hurt, and then Phil reached for the blindfold as well. "Ready?" he asked, knowing any kind of sensory deprivation could be terrifying.

"I'm ready," Dan managed to get out. He watched with hungry eyes as Phil shakily grabbed the blindfold and handcuffs, seeming to still be trying to get himself out of his near-orgasm. He held still as Phil cuffed his hands to the headboard of the bed, making sure that they were tight enough that Dan couldn't get loose, but not tight enough that it would hurt him. A thrill went through Dan at this, and he nodded once more as Phil held up the blindfold. Once he had those on, he would have next to no idea what was going on, would only be able to hear Phil and feel him on top of him. It was going to be such a new experience for the both of them, one that Dan was excited to try with Phil. "Safe-word is cats," Dan told Phil, a word they used only on rare occasions when their kinky sex got a bit too much. Dan grinned lazily at Phil, trying to reach out to grab him, but the handcuffs held him back. Dan loved it. "Blindfold me. I want to feel you."

Relieved when Dan had the presence of mind to remind them both of their rarely used safeword, Phil swallowed thickly at him and started to get the blindfold ready, feeling a thrill go through him at both Dan’s words and the way he reached for Phil, held back by the handcuffs already around his wrists. Phil leant forward for one final kiss, feeling his cock twitch between his legs, and when he pulled back, he pushed the blindfold over Dan's eyes to instantly blind him. His heart was racing as he encouraged Dan to lean his head forward so Phil could tie it, and he found himself going breathless at the sight laid out before him; Dan, completely at his mercy. When he was done, he pulled away and found himself moaning softly, leaning in to pepper Dan's face with kisses. "Fuck. You look so good like this," he insisted, pushing himself backwards so he could get into position, grabbing Dan's dick in his hand and aligning him at his entrance. "Can't wait to have you inside me. Can't wait to use you for my own pleasure. Look so pretty like this, Daniel. Gonna take all of you," he breathed, and because he knew Dan wouldn’t see it coming, he slammed Dan's cock home inside of himself.

Putting on the blindfold was... strange, to say the least. Dan had thought he was prepared for it, thought that he knew what to expect, but that wasn't the case at all. As soon as Phil put the blindfold on him, a whole new world opened up for Dan. He couldn't see, couldn't move, and his skin prickled with the anticipation. He didn't know what Phil was planning on doing, or how he was looking at him. All he could feel was Phil's thighs on either sides of his hips, just sort of holding himself up, and then there were small kisses being pressed to Dan's face, brushing against his skin and making his cheeks tingle. Phil's words went straight to his dick, every touch electrified a thousand times over. Dan could hardly breathe. "Please," Dan begged, and it was strange how easily he fell back into his routine of being submissive during sex, even though Phil was the one who was going to have a cock in his ass this time. "Please fuck yourself on me. Need to feel you, want to fuck you so b- oh!" Dan let out a sudden gasp, his entire body spasming as Phil quickly and very suddenly sunk down on Dan's cock. He was so warm, and Dan could feel his body just sucking him in, so tight around him. "F-fuck. So good, feels so fucking good," Dan moaned, apparently not able to think of anything other than Phil at that moment.

The sound of Dan's voice crying out for Phil like that, even when Phil was the one taking Dan for once, it was - it was ecstasy. Knowing just how much Dan wanted him, knowing just how good his boyfriend was for him... Phil groaned, steadying himself with hands pressed to Dan's chest when the pleasure of sinking down onto Dan like that struck him hard enough to knock the breath from his lungs. Phil hadn't anticipated that. He never did; he wasn't used to how good it felt to be impaled by Dan's dick, and he found his mouth falling open, his eyes falling shut, as he waited for his body to adjust. The stretch burned, but the pleasure outweighed the pain, Dan's dick pressing right up against him in all the right ways. Phil's chest was heaving, his eyes pricking with tears, his cock twitching with desperation. He could feel himself dripping, quickly losing control, and it was all because of Dan. Phil whined on top of him, scrabbling for a hold, and when he pulled his eyes open, it was to find Dan trembling below him with his own mouth dropped open, hands shaking under the cuffs Phil had around his wrists. "Dan," he gasped. "The way you look right now. So... so tempting," he whispered, hardly able to keep his eyes open with how good he felt right now. "I just want to eat you all up. You're shaking for me, all for me... even when it's your dick inside of me, you're such a good boy for me." Phil huffed as he shifted his hips, felt his mouth fall open again at the unfamiliar but amazing feeling. Dan's tight heat around him was just as amazing when Phil fucked Dan, but this was so rare and so good when it did happen that all he wanted right now was to be filled up by Dan forever. "So good for me. So good, Dan. Look at you," he cooed, and shifted his hips all over again, moving them up the slightest bit, before dropping straight back down, sudden and abrupt enough for both of them to moan. Dan, helpless underneath him... Dan, tied up, blindfolded... the trust in that. "I love you so fucking much," Phil said, and pulled himself up off of Dan's cock, whimpering as he lost him, and dropped right back down again with a breathy moan.

It seemed to take both of them by surprise. Even Phil, who Dan couldn't see, was breathing heavily, his hips stuttering as he adjusted to the size of Dan's cock inside of him. His hole was fluttering around Dan in the most delicious way, drawing whimper after whimper from Dan's mouth, even though Phil wasn't moving too much. It was just so different to what Dan was used to. Sure, they'd done this before, but it was always such a new experience. Dan was usually the one begging for Phil to fuck him, feeling Phil inside of him, and to be the one actually fucking Phil for once, to have his cock wrapped in such a tight heat, was fucking erotic. He was shaking, trembling beneath Phil, and even though it was he who had his cock inside of Phil, he still felt like he was the one getting fucked. Phil was moaning over him, the sound music to Dan's ears, and he was speaking through stuttered moans and gasps, telling Dan how good he was being, how amazing it felt to be fucked by Dan, and Dan... Dan could hardly stand it. He bucked his hips, trying to- to do something. What, he didn't know, but he knew that Phil felt so good and he wanted nothing more than to hold onto Phil's hips and cant his hips into him, to make Phil absolutely speechless. Instead, it was Dan who was the speechless one. Dan whimpered, tugging on his cuffs, and his mouth was gaping open. "Fuck me, Phil," Dan begged, shivering as Phil raised himself up before slamming back down on Dan's cock. "Fuck yourself on me. Make me scream for you." He swallowed, tried to think around the fog in his mind, but it was so hard when there were so many feelings fluttering through him. "You can do whatever you want to me, so fucking use me." And then, because they had to throw a little bit of romance into their kinky lives, he gasped out, "I love you too."

With an offer like that, how could Phil refuse? His cock was hard and leaking, desperate for him to just finish already, the heat starting to become almost unbearable. He could feel it weighing hot and heavy between his legs, could feel himself starting to tremble with the effort of keeping himself aloft on top of Dan, and, because he could, he leaned in and pressed his mouth onto Dan's, kissing him despite the constant, heavy huffing noises he was making as he started to really move his body. "Gonna - gonna use you," Phil managed to get out, nails digging into Dan's chest. This was so much different to when he'd rut into Dan, chasing his high. Now, now, his cock was getting no stimulation at all as he ground himself downward. It was so hot, though, so incredibly hot, and Phil wanted nothing more than to force Dan to fill him all up. The fact that there was no condom involved either... Phil shuddered with it, lifting his hips further still, shifting back down, groaning with the motion of it. He was feeling all of Dan, bare and open to him, his cock pulsing inside of Phil. Phil didn't want it to end - and then, the head of Dan's cock shifted, and suddenly, he was rubbing right alongside Phil's prostate, and Phil practically screamed the pleasure was so amazing. His hips stuttered, and he lost his rhythm, stuttering up and down, pulling himself off of Dan further, taking him in more, trying and striving to take all of Dan that he could, all while he continued to kiss him, their mouths pressed hot and tight together, saliva getting everywhere. "Dan," Phil gasped, tears dripping down his cheeks. He was so overwhelmed and he wasn't even the one blindfolded right now.

All of a sudden, Phil's mouth was pressing against Dan's, warm and urgent and messy. It seemed as if it had come out of nowhere. Dan could only feel where their lips were touching and where their bodies were connected, the slick friction against his cock as Phil slid down on him. It was amazing, one of Dan's new favourite kinks. He wanted Phil to try this sometime, that way he could make Phil feel as good as Dan was feeling right then. Phil's nails were digging into his chest, hurting slightly, but it was more stimulating than anything. His hips were raising off the bed, trying to stuff his cock further into Phil's hole, trying to angle himself to make Phil lose control. Then it finally happened, and Phil was letting out a moan that was so loud, Dan could barely hear his own rivaling whimper. His cock pulsed at the noise and he struggled a bit against the restraints, gasping as Phil suddenly started to ride him in a less controlled manner, capturing his lips in yet another sloppy kiss. Dan just let it happen. He just let Phil use him, bucking into Phil lightly just to stimulate himself and his boyfriend just that little bit more. He felt like he was about to fucking explode. It was all too much. He could feel how Phil was sliding over him, hear the way Phil rasped out his name, could feel the cuffs digging into his skin. Dan couldn't seem to stop himself when he let out a loud sob and a few curse words. "Phil!" Dan answered, shaking under his boyfriend's hold. His toes curled and his groin was clenching, but he didn't want to cum yet. He wanted to stay wrapped up in Phil's tight heat forever. "Please, please, please," Dan begged, even though he didn't know what he was begging for. His head lolled to the side and his mouth dropped open once again as he let the sensations overcome him.

Their mouths slipped apart as Dan tossed his head to the side, moaning and crying out pleading words. Phil had no idea what Dan wanted, all he knew was that he needed more, and he found himself shifting on Dan's body to push himself up, until quite suddenly, he was sitting properly, reaching behind himself to hold himself up on Dan's thighs, fucking himself up and down on Dan's cock, riding him in earnest now. He still had no control over himself, over the rhythm of his movements, no forethought to force Dan's hips into submission so he'd stop fucking up into Phil when it felt so good, but it didn't matter. His thighs were shaking, his body felt warm and oversensitive, a familiar sensation burning in his groin, boiling in his belly. He knew he wasn't going to last that much longer, but he wanted too, so Phil tried to make himself move slower, tried to keep himself from reaching for his cock, and let his body pulse up and down on top of Dan just as heady as before. Dan was gasping below him, his hips surging up for more, but the angle was difficult now. Phil could feel Dan's dick pressing into him, could practically imagine Dan's cock pressing into his belly from the inside, distending him. The idea of it was too much, and Phil lost his breath all together, gasping and throwing his head back as his hips stuttered and stilled. He was growing exhausted, unused to riding Dan like this, and took to rocking himself on Dan's dick instead, just trying to keep the stimulation going but needing a second to catch his breathe. "Beautiful, like this. Watching you fight against your restraints like that, seeing you try so hard to reach for me - you can't. You're completely under my control, and it's intoxicating Dan. Unlike anything I've ever felt before," he said, and shifted himself forwards again, letting go of Dan's trembling thighs to sit astride Dan's dick like it was easy. Dan's hips shifted, he grunted, and Phil stopped moving to pant. "Wanna just keep you like this forever."

"Holy shit," Dan hissed out as he felt Phil move, bracing his hands on Dan’s thighs behind him and beginning to ride him like his life depended on it. Dan couldn't seem to do much else than to spout expletives, trying to fuck into Phil despite the odd angle. It just felt so good. Phil was bouncing on his cock so well, bringing Dan closer and closer to what felt like an oncoming orgasm. While he didn't want to cum just yet, he also knew that he couldn't do anything to stop it. He was letting Phil use him, was letting Phil do with him what he wanted, and he would try to stave off his orgasm as long as he could, just so this feeling could continue. Dan groaned low in his throat at Phil's words. He’d stopped bouncing on his cock and was now rocking back and forth in a way that made Dan believe his thighs were probably hurting from so much strain. Dan wished he could help, but he was literally helpless. "It- it feels amazing," Dan panted out, grunting as Phil stilled his hips and stopped moving. It made Dan's balls clench with the need to cum, but he held himself back. He could feel Phil clenching around him, could feel every part of Phil's walls around him, and that was always Dan's favourite part about not using a condom. "I can't focus on anything but you. Can't feel or hear anything but you. So many sensations," Dan moaned. He moved his hips again, pushing himself just a little bit deeper inside of Phil so he was completely sheathed in Phil's body, his balls against Phil's ass. "Wish I could just stay in you forever. I love it when you use me like this."

It was rare enough for Phil to be filled up by Dan, but he'd never really tried to ride Dan like this before. Sure, they'd tried a few positions the few times they'd done this, and Phil had sat astride Dan like this before, but never before had he taken his time with Dan, never before had he taken full control like this, never before had he found himself so completely full, stuffed with Dan's cock until with one, tiny movement of Dan's hips, he was fully sheathed inside of him, his balls straining against Phil's ass. The sensation knocked the breath out of him, and he found himself reaching for anything to hold onto, crying out when the shift nearly dislodged Dan from being so deep, and forced himself back ramrod straight. "Dan," he gasped, the sound broken and half a cry as he held himself as still as he could, trembling on top of Dan. All he could focus on was how Dan must be feeling right now, the sheer control Phil had, and how Dan was still able to make him feel like it was so much more than just him in control right now. His eyes slipped closed, and he reached for his cock before he could stop himself, fingers shaking, hand stuttering against the soft skin of himself. He could feel how hot and heavy he was in his palm, and he stroked over it once, twice, feeling himself tense. "Want you," he gasped, "to milk me for all I'm worth," he finished, and forced his legs to work, forced them to propel him up and off of Dan's dick before falling back down again. Dan's cock pressed flush to his prostate, and Phil cried out, did it again, and again, and again, slow and steady, legs shaking with the effort, his fingers braced around his cock.

The response Dan got when he shifted his hips just that little bit more almost made Dan cum right then and there. Phil tightened around him and Dan could feel every inch of himself wrapped up tight in Phil's body. He keened, kept his hips in that position, and could only imagine what Phil looked like right then. He probably looked so pretty, completely fucked out with lusty blue eyes and kissed swollen red lips. Maybe he would be stroking himself, working himself off to the feeling of Dan completely filling him. Dan moaned loudly at the thought, drew his hips back slightly before slamming himself back into Phil just as deep as before, his balls taught to Phil's ass. "I want you to cum so hard from my cock filling you up," Dan growled, and his whole body was warm, his head spinning, thighs quivering from trying to stave off his orgasm. His words seemed to shock Phil into movement because he was then raising himself back up and down slowly, taking inch by inch of Dan's cock like he was trying to savour the moment by also making it more intense. Dan could feel each bit of his cock sliding up into Phil, and he could feel himself spurting precum inside of Phil as well, making everything so wet and smooth. "God, Phil. You take me so well. Can't wait to see you all filled up with my cum and claimed by me. You'll look so pretty like that."

Oh. Oh God, oh fuck, oh shit, was this happening right now? Phil's mind was gone, his body working off of pure adrenaline and his chest heaving with sobs, desperate sobs of pleasure, Dan’s voice echoing in his ears. He felt so powerless then, Dan suddenly shifting his own hips up and down to fuck Phil too, and all Phil wanted was for Dan to claim him. He could feel the heat curling through him, felt it when he fell forward, unable to hold himself up any longer, mortified when Dan was unable to hold him. Phil didn't stop himself, then - he reached up with blind fingers, breathing hectic and uneven, desperate, and fought with the hook of the plastic handcuffs, desperate to unchain Dan so he could just - so he could just - "Hold me," Phil whined as he felt the handcuffs come undone, shifting his hips back on Dan's cock, sensitive all over, shivering with it - and then Dan's hands were there, on his hips, holding him, tight, taking control, fucking up into Phil because Phil couldn't do it anymore. "Make me yours," he gasped, sobbing with the pleasure of it all, nearly hyperventilating with how bad he needed, how bad he wanted. "Dan!"

Dan could feel it when Phil fell forward, crashing into Dan's chest like he couldn't even hold himself up by himself anymore. Dan wanted to reach out, to take Phil into his arms and hold him down while he fucked him, but he couldn't get free of the cuffs no matter how hard he tried. So he did what was second best and braced his feet on the bed, trying to fuck into Phil without being able to hold him in place. Then Phil was scrabbling forward, undoing the cuffs, whining for Dan to hold him, and- well, Dan did. He braced his hands on Phil's hips, squeezing gently at the bare skin there, and then held onto him tight. He held him in place and roughly fucked up into him, just how he'd been wanting to do moments ago. Phil was letting out sobs and Dan still had the blindfold on, but he didn't try to reach up and take it off. There was something amazing about not being able to see what he was doing, and it made Dan so much more sensitive to every touch. "Fuck," Dan groaned, and then he was flipping them over, taking control for once, and Phil just let him. With the new angle, he was able to fuck Phil so much deeper, slamming into him so hard that the bed was creaking and his balls were slapping harshly against Phil's ass. He could feel Phil's body clenching around his cock, and Dan was aching, throbbing with the need to cum, and so he leaned forward and latched onto the first bit of skin he could find. He didn't know what part of Phil he was biting into, but by the sound of Phil's answering moan, it seemed to feel good at least. One thing he did know, however, was that he refused to cum until Phil did. He wanted to be good for Phil, wanted to wait until Phil was pleased to chase his own orgasm.

It felt like his lungs were shrinking. Phil couldn't get enough air, but he didn't care. He was so, so fucking overwhelmed with Dan and the way he fucked up into Phil, taking complete control over him until, finally, and surprisingly, he was pushing them both over on the bed, completely blind, and just managing to avoid making them both tumble to the floor. Phil didn't have it in him to care. He threw his head back, exposing his throat, overly turned on by the fact that Dan was still blind, that Dan was taking control, one of the rarest events their sex life ever enjoyed, and he arched his hips into Dan's touch as he started to really fuck Phil in earnest. When Dan got going like this, Phil never wanted it to end, and he opened his eyes to find that Dan had gone red all the way down his chest, was straining as he fucked into Phil, the sound of his balls slapping against Phil's' skin echoing in the room. Phil moaned, the sound more a sob than anything else, and closed his eyes, only for Dan to quite suddenly lean in and bite into the skin of his throat - right at the jugular. The feeling was unlike anything Phil had ever felt before. He could hardly breathe, his head was swimming with it, and holy fuck Phil liked that. Dan wasn't even trying to take his breath away, but Phil was light headed with it anyway, massively turned on by the sensation of Dan biting him like that, threatening while Phil's lung seemed unable to take in anymore air. He arched his hips, reached for Dan, scratched his nails down Dan's back and cried out as he managed to inhale sharply, and then he was coming undone right then and there, hips stuttering and pulsing, a long, drawn out whine ripping from his throat, the feeling of his orgasm uncurling hot and hard in his stomach. He felt his cock twitch, felt himself choke on another sob, and his vision went black when he tried to open his eyes, as if he were the blindfolded one here. He couldn't breathe, and he didn't want to, and he was floating, floating, gone.

It was good and rough and hot, and Dan was pretty sure he was going to explode. His thighs were quivering with strain, his teeth unrelenting on Phil's skin, and the way he was fucking into Phil was so raw, so desperate. The fact that he wasn't used to sensations like this made it a hundred times better. He was fucking so deep, hitting Phil's prostate each time, and he still couldn't see anything so he could feel it everywhere. Phil was sobbing below him, squirming, and Dan grabbed onto his thighs, lifting them up so he could try to get himself deeper- and then Phil was coming. He could tell by the way Phil went rigid underneath him, wetness splashing onto Dan's chest, Phil's hole clenching around him, sucking him in. Dan groaned at the tightness, his cock throbbing, his groin tightening, and then he was coming too. He let himself go, spurting hot cum all over Phil's insides, and he moaned at the feeling of coming undone connected to Phil like that. There was a wetness between them, he could feel himself pushing the cum deeper with each thrust, and he was gasping, hardly able to breathe. "Phil," Dan gasped, finally releasing Phil's skin from his teeth, and instead buried his face in what felt like a neck. He could feel his orgasm thrumming everywhere in his body, his hips ceasing movement, until he was just pressed deep inside of Phil, keeping his cum inside of Phil and loving the warmth it provided him.

Holy fuck. Phil could have come again from that alone; the sensation of Dan fucking his own cum into Phil's body, pressing the warm substance deeper and deeper. It felt so good, and the sound it made - Phil was a complete goner for it, for the knowledge that Dan had orgasmed and hadn't just filled Phil up, but had also forced his cum to stay inside of Phil by fucking it into him. There was a dribble of it, near constant as it dripped out of him, but most of it stayed pressed up inside of Phil's body, and if he could made a sound, he would have groaned at the feel of it. Dan was holding Phil's legs up, his chest was heaving, and that was quite possibly the best coming home sex they'd had in awhile. Phil's head was spinning. He was still dizzy from the lack of oxygen, was certain that his neck must look a right mess, mottled red from Dan's teeth biting into him. He didn't' care. He just wanted to float, right here, and try not to come again just from the feeling of Dan pressing his cum so deep inside of Phil. Dan was on top of him, that much was clear. Phil's thighs were up, Dan was pressed in between them, and Dan's head was pushed into the curve of his neck. Nothing could have been more wonderful in that moment than that.

Dan didn't try to move, didn't trust himself not to collapse as soon as he pulled away. He liked being pressed inside of Phil so much, understood why Phil sometimes took so long to move away. Phil was just so warm, and he liked being connected like this. There was a certain closeness that came along with not wearing a condom, one that made Dan feel every bit of Phil around him. He could feel some of his cum leaking out of Phil's hole, but it mostly staying pushed inside with his cock. He didn't want to pull away, didn't want to lose this feeling just yet. So he just stayed there, pressing light kisses to Phil's neck, until he got enough energy to pull off the blindfold. He was greeted to a beautiful and sweaty Phil, who's eyes were slightly watery, cheeks flushed a gorgeous red, fringe pushed back into a quiff. There was a mottled red mark on his neck that looking suspiciously like teeth marks, which Dan brushed his thumb against, wincing. "Sorry, did I hurt you?" he whispered, kissing the mark lightly.

Phil moaned a bit as Dan started to shift on top of him, refusing to pull out of Phil just yet, but shuffling around on top of his spent body. Phil assumed Dan was trying to get the blindfold off of his eyes, but he was too tired to open his own eyes and check, let alone help, so he just kind of lay there, attempting to catch his breath, and enjoying the way the pleasure continued to course through his veins. Dan's fingers pressed lightly over his throat, right where Dan had bit down, and then Dan was kissing it as well, seeming worried that he'd hurt Phil. Phil shook his head, dizzy with it. "Opposite. Dan," Phil gasped, too boneless and weak to reach for him, instead laying kind of star fished on the bed. How did he even go about telling Dan he'd gotten off on the idea of Dan closing his airways off, gotten off on the fact that he'd been so exhausted and spent that his own wheezing and inability to breathe had given him one of the best orgasms of his life? Dan didn't generally even like to dominate... Phil didn't want to freak him out with just how much he liked the idea of Dan... well... choking him, almost. Dan hadn't even been choking him, it was just like... Phil would really like to try that again, or something similar... Maybe the next time he rimmed Dan, he could shove his nose closer so he couldn't' breathe, or something. "Good," he said, and decided he'd figure out a way to explain later.

Dan furrowed his eyebrows as Phil told him that he liked the pain Dan had caused, in very little words. He seemed so out of it, like he could barely speak or think, so Dan didn't try to force his boyfriend to speak. He would talk to him about it later, ask him if he'd like Dan to be that rough with him more. Dan wouldn't exactly be opposed to that, especially if Phil liked that sort of thing. He would probably do anything his boyfriend asked, even if he asked him to do some kink Dan'd never thought of trying. Dan hummed and snuggled back into Phil's chest. He was going soft inside of Phil, and it was getting a bit overstimulating, so Dan shifted his hips slightly, accidentally pushing further inside of Phil for a moment, before slowly pulling out. He moaned, feeling each and every inch as he pulled out of Phil. It was slippery with his own cum, so warm and wet, and Dan nearly pushed himself back in, but he knew they were both overstimulated, so he forced himself to keep pulling away until he was collapsing back on Phil, kissing his jaw over and over again. "Love you. Love you so much."

Dan didn't reply, but he did finally start to shift like he wanted to pull out of Phil. He ended up pushing deeper instead, which made a low sound punch out of Phil's stomach that he was unsure came from pleasure or pain, and then Dan was slowly pulling himself all the way out. The sensation was always the strangest of sensations to Phil, and he winced, screwing his face up in disgust, as Dan pulled out. He could feel Dan's cum dribbling out with him, something he disliked more for the fact that he kind of didn't want it to leave his body, but also because it felt strange and uncomfortable. If Phil had had any more energy, he might have squirmed from the strange sensations, but he didn't. He was far too broken at this point, all of his limbs burning and shaking. Once Dan was free, he collapsed on top of Phil again, knocking the breath from him once more, and started to pepper kisses all over his jaw and chin. "Mm," Phil hummed, managing to pry his eyes open and turning his head to look at Dan. "Love you," he replied, and leaned in to kiss at whatever bit of Dan he could reach, eyes falling shut once again. His neck hurt, and his lungs ached, but there was such a pleasant buzz from it all that Phil couldn't even bring himself to care.

They stayed like that for a while, and Dan was on the verge of falling asleep, the pleasant buzz inside of him making his entire body thrum with pleasure and sleepiness. Plus, he had Phil, who was the most comfortable pillow in the entire world. Eventually, he could feel Phil's cum drying on their chests and making it uncomfortable. With regret, he dragged himself away from Phil and groaned as his bones cracked. Phil made a noise beside him, like he didn't want him to get up, and Dan gave him a warm smile. "Gotta clean us up," he said. "I'll be right back to cuddle the hell out of you." With that, he got a rag and wet it as quickly as he could before returning to Phil's side. He gently started to clean Phil up, wiping the dried cum from his chest before realizing with slight disgust he’d never taken his own shirt off, and yanking it over his head now. He’d have to find something else to wear later. "You're amazing," Dan hummed.

Phil didn't know how long they laid like that, but eventually, Dan was pulling away and climbing off of the bed. Phil made a noise of protest, unwilling to open his eyes, but reaching up to make grabby hands at Dan, who merely laughed at him and told him he needed to clean them both up. The last thing Phil cared about was getting cleaned up right then, but if Dan wanted too... Phil must have drifted off, because the next moment, something cold was being pressed to his bare chest, and he gasped, eyes fluttering open to find Dan cleaning them both up. The sight made Phil's heart flutter, and he grinned, because Dan always took care of them. "No, that's you," Phil disagreed softly, reaching for Dan again the second that he was done cleaning them up. Dan smiled and indulged him, placing the wet rag he'd retrieved on Phil's bedside table before climbing into Phil's arms. Phil sighed as Dan settled his weight back onto Phil, this time shirtless, and closed his eyes. "I uh - really, really liked that," Phil admitted, then, starting to wake up and recover his energy a little bit.

Being in Phil's arms post-sex was probably Dan's favorite past time. He was just so warm and lovely, especially after sex. He clung to Dan like he never wanted to let him go, and Dan always loved to curl into him like he was smaller than him. Dan wanted to stay in Phil's arms forever. "I liked it too," Dan told him honestly. And it was true. He never really topped much, and when he did, he was never that dominant. So this was an entirely new experience for the both of them. Dan didn't know where his dominant side had even come from. It was like a new part of him that he never knew had existed had emerged and taken over him. "Sorry for biting you so hard, though," Dan said earnestly. "It just felt so good and I couldn't help myself."

Phil felt something warm start to curl through him again, a nervous energy thrumming through him as Dan apologized for biting him so hard again. Phil couldn't' stop thinking about how it had felt, where Dan had bit him, and the primal spike of fear and adrenaline that had rushed through him in reaction. Dan hadn't affected his breathing by biting him, not in the same sense of choking him would have, but he had made Phil feel vulnerable to him, open to him, and he'd already been struggling to breathe, so to have Dan bite him there, like an animal... fuck, fuck. Phil moaned, his eyes fluttering, and curled himself tighter around Dan. "Liked it a lot," Phil disagreed. "Being... vulnerable to you... couldn't breathe. The way it felt, Dan," Phil tried to articulate himself, but he was scared, and embarrassed, tortured at the idea of Dan thinking he was a freak because Phil had gotten off on the head rush of not being able to breathe.

Dan's eyes widened at what Phil was insinuating. His boyfriend seemed embarrassed about it, about how he'd potentially gotten off to the feeling of Dan essentially not letting him breathe. Dan didn't think this was embarrassing. They'd been together for two years, learned things about each other that they never would have told anyone else, and this just added to the list of things to spice up their sex life. "You liked it when I made it hard for you to breathe?" Dan asked, making sure. Phil's arms were tight around him like he was scared Dan was going to leave, so he stroked his skin soothingly. Admittedly, he didn't want to hurt Phil. He worried constantly about it, but if Phil was into something like that... "I can... I can do that for you again sometime if you want?" Dan squeaked out. He was already thinking of the ways he could make Phil feel like that again. Maybe next time he could make Phil choke on his dick, or tighten his hands around Phil's neck the next time Dan was riding him. Dan shivered thinking about it.

Phil should have known better than to ever be afraid that Dan would be against something he was interested in. He should have known better than to ever think Dan would think he was a freak, or make fun of him, or be disgusted by him. He should have seen it coming when Dan offered to do it again sometime for him, when he asked, just to make sure, if what Phil had liked was the idea of breath play. Breath play of all things. Phil's dick twitched feebly with desire, but he was far too gone to go again. Slowly, Phil nodded against Dan,and pressed his face into Dan's neck, nuzzling at Dan's skin with his nose and reaching up with tired hands to card his fingers through Dan's hair. Dan wasn't usually comfortable being in charge, wasn't comfortable being the rough, dominant one. Phil hated himself for asking Dan to give him something along those lines. "Please," he said anyway. "I liked it a lot," he agreed. This had been meant to about Dan, and the handcuffs, and the blindfold, but something primal had taken over both of them. The second Phil had let Dan free from his binds, he'd pushed Phil over in the most aggressive action Dan had ever committed towards Phil. It had been hot, so fucking good, and Phil just hoped that Dan had liked it, too.

Dan hummed, loving the feeling of Phil nuzzling into his neck, his fingers brushing through Dan's hair in the way he knew he liked. His eyes fluttered shut and he shuffled closer to Phil, just trying to feel close to him, the warmth radiating off of Phil's skin extremely relaxing. "Don't be embarrassed," Dan murmured because he could feel that Phil was embarrassed even asking him to do something like that again. But again, he would do anything for Phil, so he truly didn't mind in the slightest. Phil always let Dan act out his kinks, so why wouldn't Dan do the same for him? "It's nothing to be ashamed of, you know. I'll always take care of you and make you feel good. I'd do anything for you, y'know." He tilted his head to the side and kissed Phil's eyebrow, smiling. He really loved Phil, more than anything, and he was glad that they could figure out something that made Phil tick like this.

It was just.... embarrassing. Dan had hit the nail on the head while reassuring Phil that he didn't need to be. Phil didn't even really talk about his kinks. Dan knew what he liked, what they both liked, and it was rare that they did something that triggered Phil like this in a positive way. "Okay," Phil eventually ended up agreeing, because it was clear Dan wanted to make him feel comfortable. "I uhm. How was the - the other stuff, for you?" he asked, clearing his throat and pulling back a bit so Dan could speak. "The blindfold and the uh, the handcuffs?" Phil asked. He hoped Dan had enjoyed that. He hadn’t safe worded, at least.

Dan smiled. Phil seemed so awkward talking about this, but it was endearing. He seemed so legitimately worried about how Dan had liked the sex this time, if he'd liked the roughness and the dominance, and Dan was just so happy that Phil seemed to be so concerned. "I loved it," Dan told him earnestly. "10/10 would try again." Phil snorted and shoved him, telling him to be serious, and Dan finally decided to tell him how much he really loved it. "It was new. I liked that I couldn't feel or hear anything but you. It made everything more intense. It kinda made me lose myself, if you could tell or not." Dan could certainly tell, at least. Considering he'd flipped them over and taken initiative for once, fucking Phil into the mattress. Yeah, that was... that was nice.

Phil shivered at Dan's sudden insistence that it had been good, being able to lose himself. If there was one thing Phil had learned, it was that Dan always had a hard time actually losing himself to his desires. That was why Phil was always in charge. Having Dan lose control in an entirely different way to what they were used to, though; that was intoxicating even now. Phil let his eyes flutter closed again. "You've never fucked me like that," Phil agreed, going breathless again. "Not that it isn't good what you usually do, but you were like - an animal," Phil admitted. That was what he'd liked. Phil reached for Dan's face, cupped his cheeks and drew him up for a kiss. Their lips came together sloppily, but it was good, lazy, soft. "I liked it. I'd like to try it again sometime... see what I can make you do," Phil admitted. He would be happy to just do what they normally did, but a change of pace sometimes could be good as well. "I hope i didnt ruin your plans by dragging you up here, by the way," Phil added, half dreaming. "If it helps, just having you here is the best anniversary gift I ever could have asked for."

Dan agreed with Phil quietly. He hadn’t ever fucked Phil like that, that much was true. He'd always stuck to being submissive, never really had any desire to dominate Phil in such a way. Maybe it was because he was self conscious and really just didn't like taking control, but the way he'd lost himself just now... it really was like he was an animal. The primal instincts had somehow slipped in, making him fuck and take and bite in a way he'd never done before. "Maybe the blindfold made me lose myself to the sensations," Dan said thoughtfully. Phil kissed him, sloppily and lazily, in a way that Dan melted into him. "I would be down to try that again if you are. Might need to build up the stamina first though, before we try anything." Dan nuzzled his nose against Phil's. "But then again, we have all week. And don't even say you ruined my plans. This was better than anything I could have ever wanted and it's been far too long since we've been together like this. We were due for a good fuck," Dan teased.

Phil found himself smiling, giggling, at Dan's comments, nuzzling him back and thinking exactly the same thing. Phil had most definitely not had the stamina for what they'd just done, if the fact that he'd lost his ability to ride Dan quite early on was any indication. He could deal with waiting until they'd perhaps had a little more practice to try something like that again. Still, he couldn't help teasing, "Did I tire you out?" He wore a shit eating grin as he managed to pry his eyes open again, his heart rate and breathing finally having settled down some. He shifted against Dan, rolled them over so he was holding himself up over his boyfriend, legs tangled together, pelvis hovering near each other. His fringe fell into his eyes as he stared into warm, brown eyes. "Or are you up for another round?" Phil wasn't even sure if he had it in him, but when Dan nodded his head and pushed himself up with dilated pupils to kiss Phil, Phil thought he could find it in himself somewhere.

(NexT)

#phanfiction #phanfic #phan #phanfictioncatalogue #snowbunnylester #botanistlester #the summer

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