#the thing is it feels like a very self-centred lazy compliment. that's why i hate it. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

acindra · 8 years ago

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I’m Not A Betting Man, But This Is A Sure Thing

Pairing: Joel/Ray, Lindsay/Michael, Ryan/Gavin, Geoff/Jack/Jeremy

Words: 13.252

Summary: Joel's a dragon searching for his soulmate. Somehow he manages to stumble into a coffee shop au.

A/N: Joel’s Fork

Thank you to @wishfulthinkingoutloud, @iaveinabox, @thisandthensome, @comp-lady, @spyboyfriends, and @firebornaustrian helping me create this story. <3

Read on AO3 or under the cut

It was Valentine's day.

Contrary to popular belief, Joel, who was still painfully single, did not hate the holiday. He was happy for all the couples out there that were so deeply in love. Really. He was.

It just hurt a little that he was not one of them.

Sometimes he felt he was cursed.

He knew there was someone out there for him- but the odds of finding that one person was like a needle in a proverbial haystack.

In his younger years he had thought that meant meeting as many people as possible. He had many a fling in college, and many more afterwards. But every failed fling, every unfulfilling relationship, every person that he met not ending up being his soulmate put a damper on his hope. It seemed like he’d never find the day when they would meet.

And it was very possible that he wouldn’t.

It was statistically unlikely, in fact, according to the internet.

But there were worse things, Joel reminded himself every day, than never finding his soulmate. There were horror stories where other dragons had found their soulmate too late in their lives, or their soulmate having a shorter life span. Those were really hard to stomach for Joel- to finally feel complete and then have it taken away so fast.

Nowadays, what with the internet being so big, there were even kickstarters where dragons had found their soulmate through the internet but couldn’t reach them because they lived across the world.

Joel didn’t think he had to worry about lack of sufficient funds thwarting his mission to find his soulmate, though. He was well-off from a mix of inheritance, working hard, and being smart with the stock market.

His friends had laughed at him when he insisted on buying gold, claiming he was buying too much into his species stereotype- but who was laughing now?

If he stopped everything now and was to live only on the money he had in his bank account, he’d have enough for his not inconsiderable lifespan. But, like most dragons, he scoffed at the idea of merely having ‘enough.’

So Joel didn’t hate the holiday where you could find couples making out at every street corner or couples holding hands blocking pathways or couples making goo-goo eyes at each other at restaurants.

He liked the idea of the day very much. He longed for a day where he’d be out there with a date of his own, holding hands, making out, and in general making a nuisance out of themselves for the general public on the holiday.

It was just a little much to stomach sometimes so usually he spent most of the day indoors, playing video games. It wasn’t much different from his normal life, to be honest. There just happened to be more people in pairs (and the odd group of threesomes or more if you were lucky enough to spot them) out in the world during that day.

Which was why it was odd that he found himself out and about this Valentine’s Day.

It was a matter of necessity, really. His phone had locked itself up and was not allowing him to access it in any way- even emergency phone calls. He had no idea how he had fucked his phone up but he knew it needed to be fixed as soon as possible.

With that in mind, Joel took a deep breath and got out of his car.

A light breeze ruffled his hair as he made his way from the parking lot to the outdoor shopping centre. He resisted the urge to pull his hood up over his head like he used to do in school when the prying eyes of people noticed his fins.

He was on a mission! He had to get his phone fixed, not worry about what people thought about him.

The sound of children’s laughter floated over from the makeshift jungle gym park in the middle of the shopping centre. He smiled a little as he glanced over. At least children were more curious than scared of him. He wondered if one day he might want a child, but pushed that to the back of his mind- he was still on a mission.

Joel made his way over to a map board and looked at the map directory, trying to figure out where the phone store was in relation to him.

As he searched, someone bumped into his tail. He glanced up and apologized to the retreating back of the man who apparently was too busy talking on his phone to apologize for running into somebody. He pulled his tail closer to his legs in the hopes to avoid another collision. He reminded himself he had nothing to be afraid of, and no one was going to make fun of him or attack him. They were probably more scared of him than he was of them. Which brought in a whole other barrage of negative thoughts that he quickly also shoved to the back of his thoughts- he didn’t have time to be self-pity right now.

Finally locating the store, he peered around the board to find it was across from the way from the map. He fought an embarrassed blush back, and reasoned that he couldn’t have seen the sign from his car, so it wasn’t like he was completely oblivious to his surroundings.

He quickly walked up to the shop and let himself in, glad to at least cut himself off from some of the public’s eyes.

The store was empty save the employees, it seemed. One was sitting at a desk, lounging in their chair, and the other was leaning on the desk, facing away from the door.

It was obvious he had interrupted their conversation, as they both turned to look at him when the door jingled his arrival.

The man who was leaning over the desk did a double take when he saw who had entered.

“Joel?”

Joel blinked. “Jack?”

Jack Pattillo had been one of Joel’s buddies in his primarily human college. He was one of the few people who hadn’t looked at Joel and weren’t immediately scared, hostile, or wanting to make a science experiment out of him.

Joel had found out later that it was because Jack had inherited thaumaturgy from his mother.

He didn’t like to make a big show of it, though. Last Joel had heard, Jack was working at a small clinic that focused on combining magic and medicine to heal.

Jack teleported over in his excitement, though they were only a handful of feet apart, and pulled Joel into a tight hug. “It’s been forever, Joel! How are you?”

“Fine- Good. I didn’t know you worked here?” Joel replied, hugging Jack back awkwardly.

“Oh, no. I- I don’t.” Jack replied, pulling away. “I’m uh. Visiting Geoff.”

Geoff, who was still lounging in his chair, lifted a hand in greeting. “Yo.” he said with a lazy smile.

“‘Visiting’, huh?” Joel asked.

Jack shoved at Joel’s shoulder a little, and Joel got distracted by the glint of his rings for a second. “Shut up.” he was still smiling. “Anyways, what are you doing here? I’m assuming you need phone help.”

Geoff stretched and got out of his chair.

Joel noted that the tattoos complimented his pointed tail and horns. He hadn’t encountered many demons in person before, but he figured any friend of Jack’s would be safe enough and he didn’t want to let prejudice get in the way.

“Yes.” he said, digging into his hoodie pocket and pulling out his phone. “It won’t unlock anymore.”

“Let me have a look.” Geoff said, walking over.

When Joel re-emerged from the store into the bright sunlight, it was with a functioning phone (which had unfortunately died from lack of charge shortly after Geoff had fixed it) and Jack’s phone number on a slip of paper with the promise- and insistence- that they get together and catch up soon.

Joel blinked a few times, adjusting to the sunlight. He looked both ways before he made to cross the street. In the corner of his eye, right before he was about to step out, he saw a young man sweeping up trash in front of a coffee shop.

The sun shone onto the man and highlighted the black of his hair. Petals blew in the air around him and he smiled a stunning smile.

Joel was floored.

So much so that he tripped off the sidewalk into the street and almost dropped his phone. He windmilled in place before basically dropping to his knees in an effort to save himself the faceplant and mostly failing.

There was a clatter and thudding footsteps as he recollected himself.

“That was quite the wipeout! You ok, man?” a voice asked from somewhere above him.

Joel nodded. “I’m fine I just-” he noticed it was the young man who had been sweeping, now standing over him “-tripped.” He blinked up at the man, who was silhouetted by the sunshine, making him seem ethereal in a way Joel didn’t want to question. “Hi.” he said, for lack of better words.

“Hi. Need some help up?” The young man asked, offering a hand.

Joel blushed but reached out and took it anyways. “Thank you.” he said, as he hauled himself to his feet.

He was reluctant to let go now that he had this man’s hand in his. The man raised an eyebrow at Joel and shook their hands when Joel did not let go, pulling his hand away slowly. “I’m Ray.”

“Ray…” Joel repeated, feeling the word out in his mouth.

“And this is where you say who you are. Did you hit your head down there or something?” he asked, cocking his head inquisitively.

“Huh?” Joel realized he probably had been acting very slow on the uptake since he saw Ray. “Sorry, no. I just- I’m Joel.”

“Joel. Nice to meet you.” He seemed to flounder, for a second, not knowing what to say next. “Uh. If you come with me I can get you a glass of water?”

Joel was pretty sure Ray could ask him to follow him to the ends of the earth and he would agree. “Sure.”

Ray nodded. “C’mon then.” he said, turning and making his way over to the cafe.

Joel followed after like a lost puppy. His eyes wandered downward then snapped back up as he realized he was checking Ray out. He shook himself, now was not the time.

Ray grabbed the broom he had dropped against one of the metal chairs on the cafe’s patio before coming to check on Joel and ushered Joel through the doorway.

There was a moment of complete discombobulation that made Joel wobble from side to side for a few seconds as he stepped inside.

“Oh right, sorry. That’d be the expansion charm- it’ll getcha the first couple of times.” Ray told him, putting a steadying hand on his shoulder.

“You guys should put a warning for that.” Joel muttered, trying to gather himself.

Ray grimaced. “We have one,” he said, tapping a piece of paper taped to the door, “I’ve just been working here so long I forgot.” He slid his hand down Joel’s arm to tug at his sleeve.

Joel fought the shiver that went through him at Ray’s touch and continued following him to the counter.

Ray nodded to an empty stool-chair nestled next to the pick-up counter that all of the customers seemed to be shying away from. “Have a seat, I’ll get your water.” he went around the counter, past the large display of baked goods, and ducked under a moveable countertop before disappearing into the back room.

Joel went to sit at the chair appointed, wondering why the patrons seemed to be avoiding it. Maybe it was because the chair was an isolated affair, all by itself. Or maybe it was because it was facing the counter and no one wanted prying eyes on whatever they were doing from the employees of the establishment.

Ray popped out of the back room shortly after, carrying a plastic cup of water and a napkin with a tiny cupcake on it. He placed them on the counter next to Joel.

Joel automatically reached into his hoodie pocket and pulled out his wallet.

“No, no. On the house.” Ray said, waving his hands in front of him.

“Oh. Thank you.” Joel said, putting his wallet away. A piece of paper that had been stuck to the side had fallen onto the counter.

“You dropped your- heyy picking up some chicks earlier? I bet they really go for the ruggedly handsome, kinda confused look.” Ray said, winking.

Joel thought he looked a little disappointed, but also thought he could possibly be projecting his feelings.

Ray held the paper out to him and he took it, shaking his head.

“It’s my friend’s number. From college. I met him again today.”

Ray lit up again. “That’s awesome dude, congrats.”

There was an awkward silence where they just stared at each other.

Joel finally tore his gaze away, self conscious, and looked at the cupcake. It was a small, plain thing made of what looked like vanilla cake and a blob of icing that looked like a crudely drawn stick of dynamite in bright red. “So uh. What kind of cupcake is it?”

“Oh! These are our specialty. They’re ‘Teeny Tiny Cupcakes That Pack a Big Punch’- that’s the slogan, also known as Team Nice Dynamite cupcakes. One of our regulars named them after he and Michael’s friendship or something.”

“Michael?” Joel asked, eyeing the cupcake with apprehension.

“He’s our baker- and my best friend.” he said, pointing a thumb over his shoulder at the curly haired young man behind him who was taking customer’s orders. “He’s an alchemist too. Puts magic into the pastries. But none of it is harmful! It’s not even spicy, I promise.” he reassured Joel. “Try it?”

“If this turns me into a frog I’m suing.” Joel said, startling a laugh out of Ray, before he popped it into his mouth.

It was the cupcake equivalent of being punched awake.

Joel blinked, suddenly a lot more alert. He swallowed and quickly gulped down some of the water. “Next time? Maybe a little more warning.” he told Ray who was laughing so hard he had doubled over clutching his stomach.

“Your face!” he gasped out.

“It wasn’t that funny.” Joel told him, a little put out. “Do you do this to all the injured men you pick up off the street?”

Ray’s laughter attracted the attention of the other employees and half of the cafe’.

The other employee who wasn’t Michael came over. She had auburn hair, cat ears, a tail, and a suspicious look on her face. “What did you do, Ray?”

“Just a little Nice Dynamite.” he replied smugly, reining in his laughter.

The woman sighed but Joel saw a brief smile before she adopted a stern look. “I’ll put you on cleaning duty every day for the next week if you don’t stop tormenting our customers.” She turned to Joel and held out a hand, which he shook. “Hi, I’m Lindsay Jones. Welcome to Catastrophe Cafe’.”

“Joel Heyman.”

Ray snorted. “What like ‘Hey, man, did you fall from heaven? Because you’re an angel in my eyes.’ Or ‘Hey, man, are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see?’” he asked, pointing finger guns at Joel.

“Are you done?” Lindsay asked.

“One more. ‘Hey, man, are you Google? Because I’ve just found who I’ve been searching for.’”

Joel tried not to grimace; it struck a little too close to home.

Lindsay elbowed Ray in the ribs.

“Ow that’s sexual harassment in the workplace.” he claimed, batting at her like they were slap fighting.

“I’m so sorry about him, Joel. His brain escaped a long time ago- we’ve put up signs but no one has brought it back.”

“Hey.” Ray complained. “Just because I ain’t the sharpest tool in the ted… the ted. Fucking kill me.” he slumped against the counter with his head in his hands.

Joel took pity on him. “I’m a dragon.”

Ray looked up. “I mean yeah. I figured. You have like...” he made bunny ear motions with his hands over his head, “nubblies and a tail.”

“Nubblies.” Joel repeated.

“Well what else do you call them? They’re little… nubbly bits.” he made the hand motions again.

Lindsay grabbed one of his hands and pulled it down so he would stop doing the bunny ears.

“They’re fins.” Joel supplied.

Ray made a “Mehh” noise. “Nubblies sounds cooler.”

“Anyways.” Lindsay interrupted. “That means Joel has probably been searching for his soulmate for years. Unless you’ve found them?” she asked hopefully.

Joel hesitantly shook his head, a little uncomfortable.

Was Ray his soulmate?

Joel certainly wanted him to be. But they had only known each other for a handful of minutes, and Joel didn’t know how he was supposed to tell. Other dragons hadn’t been very helpful, citing that they would ‘just know’ or the relationship would ‘feel right.’

“Oh, dude, me too!” Ray went on, oblivious to the gravity of the situation.

“No. Ray. Dragons have soulmates. For life. Like, only one person for them.”

A look of dawning comprehension was on Ray’s face. “Oh. Dude. I am SO sorry. That sucks hardcore. And I was being an ass. Ray you idiot.” he muttered. “I’m sorry. Here I’ll buy you actual cupcakes- and coffee, We have all kinds. Like there’s some that change your hair color and-”

“Ray, it’s ok.” Joel interrupted. “You don’t have to do that. You didn’t know.”

“Lindsay’s right I need to learn to keep my fat mouth shut.” Ray said, raking a hand through his hair. Some of the petals that had been in it fluttered down onto the counter.

Joel picked one of the petals up. “I like the decorations.” he told Lindsay, gesturing around at the almost overdone amount of roses climbing the walls.

Ray grinned. “Thanks, I grew them myself.”

“Grew them? You mean they’re real?” Joel looked closer at the nearest rose and he realized he could smell it.

“Yep.” he replied.

Joel was impressed. “That must have taken years!”

“Nah, it only took like 10 minutes.” Lindsay told him.

Joel stared at Ray in disbelief.

Ray grinned and nodded to the rose petal in Joel’s fingers. “Watch.” He plucked it from Joel’s fingers and placed it on his wrist.

The petal slowly warmed up, then more started to sprout around it, forming a bud. A vine grew from the base and slowly wrapped around Joel’s wrist and when it was done the flower bloomed.

“There. Now you match the day.” he announced.

“So what are you, then?” Joel asked, admiring the flower.

“I’m a wood nymph.” Ray told him. “Also be careful with that, there might be thorns. I tried to keep them from growing but I might’ve missed a couple.”

Lindsay smiled brightly at them. “It was nice to meet you, Joel, but I’m going to get back to work.” She turned to Ray. “Hurry up and finish flirting or I’m counting this as your break.”

Ray spluttered as she made her way over to the front counter. He turned back to Joel, blushing. “Can I get you anything before I get back to it?”

“Um. So coffee would be nice. Plain.” he looked Ray up and down. “Like your taste in clothing.” he added before he could stop himself. He mentally berated himself; he knew never to insult someone who handled his food.

Ray laughed and his worry vanished. “Sure. Coming right up.”

As Ray went to pour his coffee, Joel looked closer at the flower on his wrist, noting the intricate detail of ‘veins’ on each petal and the twisting of the vine. It was like artwork.

“This really is impressive.” he remarked as Ray set the cup of coffee in front of him.

Ray beamed at him,“Thanks, man. Yell if you need anything.” he said, and moved back to the front counter with Lindsay and Michael.

Joel smiled to himself as he took a sip of his coffee. He felt warmed to the tips of his fingers and his toes at the idea that he may have found his soulmate. He glanced down at the cup and realized Ray had written J-role on it with a bunch of hearts and a crudely drawn flower next to it.

Joel couldn’t even bring himself to mind that his potential soulmate might be a bit of an ass; he was a bit of an ass, too.

It was after Joel’s 6th sip of coffee that he began to fret.

Now that he was no longer in Ray’s immediate vicinity, the rose tinted glasses dropped, so to speak.

He had never really been attracted to guys before. But he wasn’t sure the soulmate bond was really about attraction anyways.

Though he couldn’t say Ray wasn’t attractive. There was just something about that nerdy chic, with his thick rimmed glasses and mario t-shirt not-quite-hidden under his work apron.

Ok, maybe Ray wasn’t the kind of person he’d normally go for. Maybe Ray was a complete 180 degrees from the well-put-together ladies Joel usually tried to date.

But this wasn’t about dating. This was about capital-S Soulmates. The person Joel could share his life with. The person he’d trust the most. The person he could love.

Could he love Ray?

Even if Ray was his soulmate, was that reason enough to ruin the young man’s life by introducing himself into it?

He had no delusions about himself in this respect- he had lived a bachelor’s lifestyle for decades. He didn’t know how to live with another person. He didn’t know how to trust. He didn’t know how to love. He wasn’t the type of material someone was looking for, even just to date. How could he make himself be the type of material for a full time permanent relationship?

If he got into a relationship with Ray, would he be able to learn?

Would Ray even go for a guy like Joel? He had called him ‘ruggedly handsome’ but he could have been joking. Ray seemed like a very joke-y person. At the very least he seemed an infinitely more relaxed person than Joel was, and Joel liked that very much about him.

Joel looked up at Ray to see Ray glance at him. When Ray noticed he had Joel’s attention, he smiled.

Joel could see a whole life in that smile. In that moment he could see a whole future of learning how to be a partner in someone else’s life- a whole future of learning to love. He could picture doing it with Ray.

He smiled back unwittingly, the sinking feeling that had been growing and growing dissolving in the face of it.

Ray looked away again to take a customer’s order.

Joel felt a little helpless, like he was teetering on the edge of an abyss that he couldn’t see into, unsure if he was ready to take the plunge.

Had Ray been flirting with him? Or was he just being polite? Nothing he had done had been overly flirtatious, or even overly friendly. But at the same time if he read into it, if Ray liked him, then he could have been. How was he supposed to know if he was reading too much into it?

He knew not to flirt with people while they were working- but what was the protocol on working people possibly flirting?

Joel knew if the situation was a little different- if Ray had been a girl, or if Ray had not been Joel’s possible Soulmate and he didn’t have so much riding on the possible relationship, he would be able to talk to him. Maybe ask him out, even.

As it was, there was too much pressure on Joel. And he was having trouble bearing it.

He looked down at the flower around his wrist and an idea popped into his head. It was a little stupid in an elementary school note of ‘Do you like me? Circle Y/N’ kind of way, but he was at a loss of what else to do.

So Joel spent the next five minutes folding his napkin. Eventually he ended up with a wonky rose. He scribbled ‘Friends?’ along with his number on one of the petals.

He was going to put the ball in Ray’s court. If Ray was flirting with him- if Ray wanted a relationship, even a friendship, in any form with the man he picked up off the street, that would be his decision.

He got up and chugged the rest of his coffee to gather his determination. He threw away the cup and marched up to the counter Ray was currently wiping down.

Ray smiled at him again when he saw him approach.

He quickly thrust his hand out and Ray, confused, held his hand under so he could drop the napkin into it. “Thank you” he told him, as sincerely as possible.

Then Joel scurried away out of the cafe and back to his car, unwilling to think about how ridiculous he had just been.

By the time he reached his apartment, Joel was a wreck.

He regretted.

What did he regret? Pretty much everything.

From their first interaction onwards he acted like a lovestruck fool- and for all intents and purposes he was.

Surely Ray wouldn’t want to even be friends with him? He was just some random guy who he had literally picked up off the street… who spent a short amount of time at the coffee shop he worked at… who probably looked like a creeper.

God he was pathetic.

Joel spent some time pacing his living room. He had initially tried to watch tv but he couldn’t concentrate and his fidgeting became out of hand. Then he spent some time wiping down his kitchen counters.

While it didn’t help with his restlessness, he did feel a little better afterwards because he had done something productive.

The seconds that ticked by were drowning him as he awaited Ray’s response.

If there was to be a response- who knew, he could have dumped the flower and number into the trash the second Joel stepped out the door.

It was around this time that Joel actually checked his phone, to realize that it was still dead from losing battery charge earlier that day.

He hurried to the charger beside his bed, plugged it in, and sat watching the battery fill up for a few minutes before the waiting became too much.

He wandered into his spare room where he kept his collection of shiny things.

Things, perhaps, is too generous of a word. There were some valuable things, like gold plated statuettes and a whole collection of coins dating back before he was born, but mostly it was just shiny shit that had caught his eye. Random computer parts, gaudy fake jewelry he had found at a flea market, and even a handful of cutlery.

Intermixed between his shiny shit were mementos of good times he had had in his life. Awards for excelling in school, keepsakes from past relationships, and a photo album his friend group had made for one of his birthdays in college.

He picked up a simple ring, resting in pride of place on a small purple cushion on the desk.

When he was very young his parents had brought him to an enchanter who had forged the ring. The enchanter engraved it with words only Joel’s soulmate would be able to read. Given, he had to find them first.

Still, it was one of his most treasured possessions. Though it was intended for his soulmate it brought him comfort all the same, knowing there was possibly someone out there that could read it.

Joel went back to his room and sat down in the middle of his bed, the blankets all bunched up around him. He pressed the power button on his phone and was relieved that it actually started its boot process.

The ring was cool against his hand but shined warmly in the dim light pouring in from the living room. He ran his thumb over the runes, wondering what it could possibly say.

His thoughts were interrupted by a series of alerts on his phone.

In his rush to get to his messages, he managed to fuck up his password twice. But it didn’t matter because when he finally got into his messages, there was a handful of messages from an unknown number. They said:

“Jooooooel!”

“busy tomorrow?”

“was going to go see that new sci fi movie with Michael”

“he bailed what a loser”

“he’s gonna have some hot makeouts with the bosslady”

“want to come?”

“this is Ray”

Relief coursed through Joel’s veins- Ray wanted to be friends! He quickly typed out his affirmative reply, “of course” before rethinking and changing it to “sure” so as to not come off as so desperate.

The response was immediate.

“great my shift ends at 1”

“the theater is in the same shopping plaza as the cafe”

“you can wait for me inside the cafe”

There was a brief lull in messages for a minute and then

“didn’t get the chance to tell you earlier”

“Happy Valentine’s Day!”

Joel’s heart clenched. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Ray.” he replied.

He saved Ray’s name in his phone book with a little flower emoji after much deliberation; a heart seemed like overkill. He slumped against the headboard of his bed and stared at the ring, his phone, and the flower wrapped around his wrist.

He didn’t know if Ray was his soulmate, but he sure wanted him to be.

Even though it was stressful, and not even over, it was probably the best Valentine’s Day he had ever had.

In his rush to be on time, Joel ended up arriving at the cafe fifteen minutes early. He debated whether he wanted to go in or not, before eventually deciding that sitting in his car to wait was silly and he might as well.

“Joooooel.” Ray called as he stepped in. “You’re early!”

“There was less traffic than I expected.” he muttered uncomfortably.

“Well, you can have a seat while you wait. I’ll be done soon.” Ray said cheerfully, before turning to take the next customer’s order.

Joel grabbed a napkin and took the seat at the counter. He was folding the napkin into a frog when a young man burst into the cafe rather dramatically.

“Michael!” the young man exclaimed, not even bothering to take off his gold rimmed sunglasses.

“Gavin!” Michael exclaimed right back, startling the lady he was assisting.

“Excuse me.” Gavin sidled up to where the lady was, going in for a hug with Michael over the counter.

She seemed remarkably unimpressed.

Ray motioned to her. “That mess might take a while. I’ll help you over here, if that’s ok.”

Michael and Gavin proceeded to have an almost-whispered conversation over the counter that made them look like a pair of schoolboys or maybe excited puppies.

Joel went back to folding his napkin. He had just finished up the legs when there was a throat cleared next to him. He looked up to see Gavin standing next to him, his hip cocked. “Can I help you?”

“You’re in my seat.” Gavin announced, pointing at him accusingly.

“I didn’t see your name on it.”

“Excuse me.” A new voice said. “I’m sorry to interrupt but I was wondering if you made your tail and fins by hand?”

Gavin and Joel turned to find a tall, average looking white man wearing dad jeans. They both gave him very confused looks.

“I’m… sorry?” Joel responded finally.

“Your tail. It looks really well done. Is there a convention in town that you’re going to?”

“Well you’re quite the rude one, aren’tcha.” Gavin told him.

The man look affronted. “This coming from the child that’s upset someone else took “Their Seat” at a public cafe.”

“At least I’m not the git that asks a dragon if they made their tail by hand.”

The man blinked at them, confused. “Dragons aren’t real.”

Gavin raised an eyebrow. “So that’s where you draw the line- sure werewolves, vampires, witches are all real but dragons- nah?”

“Have you lost your mind? Werewolves, vampires, and witches are all fairy tale things.”

“How on earth did you get to the magic side of town?” Gavin asked, laughing.

The man looked uncomfortable. “I may have gotten lost. But that’s not the point. There’s no such thing as ‘magic’ it’s all just tricks. You’re having me on.”

“And I suppose you think these are fake, too?” Gavin asked, flashing his sharp incisors.

“It’s not a very good vampire cosplay if you’re wearing normal clothes.”

“You’ve got to be having a laugh.”

“Bite me.”

Gavin’s grin was predatory. “Hang around and I might.”

Ray came around the counter, no longer wearing his work apron. “I’m ready when you are.” he told Joel, eyeing the other two who were squaring off warily.

“Looks like you’ll get “Your Seat” after all.” Joel told Gavin, getting up.

He looked the unnamed man in the eyes, lifted up the napkin-frog he had been making, and incinerated it.

Everyone backed up a step as it burned for a few seconds then went out.

Gavin was still staring at the man hungrily. “Thanks but I think I’d rather sit with… you know, I didn’t catch your name?”

The man took another step back. “I didn’t give it.”

Gavin took a step closer. “You don’t have to be scared of little old me. I’m just- what did you call me? A child.”

Ray grabbed Joel’s shoulders and steered him towards the door, as he was stuck watching the minor spectacle of a vampire choosing its next meal.

“I still don’t believe you’re a vampire and that little pyro show was a trick.”

“Then why are you running away?”

“Because you’re being a creep.”

Ray continued pushing until they were out the door. “Well that was delightful.” he muttered.

“You have strange friends.” Joel remarked.

Ray laughed. “Careful what you say about them, they might become your friends, too.”

Joel smiled at the thought. “That doesn’t sound like a bad idea.”

Ray grinned at him, grabbing his sleeve and pulling him along to the movie theatre. “So have you heard anything about the movie?”

“Not really. But I want to see big fucking ships in fucking space shooting at fucking other ships!”

Ray chuckled. “I hope it’s to your liking, then. Oh right- here’s your ticket.” he said, handing over the slip of paper.

“I’ll buy us popcorn then.”

“You don’t have to do that- I invited you, I’ll pay for the popcorn.”

“No, no. I want to. Besides you gave me coffee yesterday. It’s the least I can do.”

Ray turned to look at Joel appraisingly. “Careful Joel, if you feed me I’ll never leave you alone.”

“That doesn’t sound like a bad idea, either.”

Ray smiled up at him.

Joel continued. “I’ll feed you and water you and take you for lots of walks.”

Ray stuck his tongue out at him.

Joel quickly poked at Ray’s tongue but ended up tapping Ray’s lips when he withdrew it. “Careful with that, a cat might get it.”

“But satisfaction will bring it back!” Ray told him, confidently

“I… that’s not how the saying goes.”

“Eh.” Ray shrugged. “So. I didn’t know dragons could set things on fire from their hands.”

Joel grinned. “You should see me breathe fire,” he told him, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Oh my god promise me you will show me that.”

Joel hummed, “one day, maybe.”

“One day soon?” Ray needled.

“No promises.”

“But Joooooel. I showed you my trick, you should show me yours.”

Joel lifted his hand that still had the flower wrapped around it. “This is more than a trick, Ray. This is art!”

Ray smiled. “You still have it!”

“Of course I do. What- did you think I was gonna throw it away?”

Ray shrugged. “I dunno. They usually wilt and die so people don’t keep them. Do you want me to get it off your wrist?”

“Sure. Then I can stick it in a vase.”

They had made it to the movie theatre and Ray stopped them in front of the stairs leading up to the entrance.

He put his hand over the stem and it slowly unwrapped from Joel’s wrist. He picked it up off Joel’s arm and tucked it behind his ear. He grabbed Joel’s wrist and started to pull him up the stairs. “I’ll keep it safe for now, ok? C’mon.”

“Ok.” Joel said as he was led into the theatre.

He couldn’t help but think again that he’d probably follow Ray anywhere he asked.

Joel had waited a grand total of two days before he caved and texted Ray, inviting him over for pizza and to play games on his xbox.

He spent an inordinate amount of time cleaning his apartment and cursing himself for even having the idea of inviting Ray over. He even spent some time tidying his bedroom, though that was wishful thinking more than anything.

The knock on the door startled him half to death and he had to shake himself before answering the door- only for it to be the pizza delivery.

Ten minutes and a handful of breadsticks later Ray arrived.

“Getting started without me?” he asked, nodding to the open breadstick box on the coffee table.

“Not my fault you’re late.” Joel defended himself, even though he knew for a fact it was not true.

“I would never be late when there’s free food on the line.” Ray swore, earnestly. “Also it’s freezing in here- no wonder you’re always wearing a hoodie.”

Joel crossed his arms. “You say ‘always’ like you’ve seen me more than two times.”

“You’re counting? I’m flattered.”

“You’re infuriating.”

“Aw you love me, though.”

Joel bit his tongue to keep from responding.

Ray looked around the apartment and let out a low whistle. “Nice digs, dude. What do you do in the spare room?”

“Pardon?”

“You’ve got a bedroom and bathroom so that’s gotta be a spare room- or is it a closet?”

“No, it is a room. I keep. Uh…” Joel fidgeted. “I keep my hoard in there.” he muttered.

“No shit? Can I see?” Ray asked, making for the door.

“I mean. If you want. But it’s just shiny shit.”

“Oh. That’s so boring though.”

“What did you think was going to be in there?”

“I don’t know. Something less stereotypical- like a ton of stuffed animals. Or an aquarium. Or a bunch of sex dungeon stuff or something.”

Joel opened the door and let Ray peer in. “Nope. Just shiny shit and some stuff that means a lot to me.”

“Is that a fork?”

“And that’s enough of that.” Joel announced, closing the door.

“Aw.” Ray pouted. “And don’t think I didn’t see the flower in there.”

Joel shifted uncomfortably. “The pizza is getting cold.”

“Alas. You have identified my only weakness.”

“Free food?”

“Free food.” he agreed, sitting down on the sofa.

A while later they were in the middle of a game when Ray requested out of the blue, “Take off your hoodie.”

“What?” Joel asked, still concentrating on the game

“Take off your hoodie!”

“O… kay.” Joel tugged off his hoodie.

Ray snatched it up and pulled it on.

Joel was baffled. “You know, if you wanted a hoodie I have more in my closet.”

“But this one has your body heat. Now I’m nice and toastie.” Ray told him, snuggling down into it.

It was too big for him.

Joel tried not to think about how much he liked seeing Ray in his hoodie.

Ray scooted over to one side of the sofa and wriggled his toes under Joel’s leg.

“Getting comfortable, over there?”

“I’m snug as a bug.” he replied, sticking out his tongue.

A few hours later and they had both migrated to the middle of the sofa.

Ray slumped against Joel and yawned.

“Tired?”

“Nah I’m still wide awake I promise.” he mumbled.

Joel had to put more effort into concentrating on the game, distracted by the warmth of Ray against his side.

“Do you want to sleep over?”

Ray laughed. “We can paint each other’s nails and braid our hair.”

It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep.

Joel didn’t notice at first, still focusing on the game. “I’m catching up.” he announced. He glanced at over when he didn’t get a response.

Ray looked younger when asleep, breathing softly with his glasses slightly askew.

Joel contemplated getting up and going to bed, the weight and warmth of Ray leaned against him contributing to his drowsiness. He wanted to stay and fall asleep there on the sofa, but knew if he did he’d probably get a crick in his neck.

But Ray was nestled up against him so peacefully. And when would he get another chance to cuddle with him?

Joel looked around the room, searching for something that would make the decision for him. He found nothing.

Ray snuffled in his sleep and stretched out a little so he was laying more comfortably.

Joel didn’t have the heart to try and escape. He adjusted his body so he was leaning against the armrest and closed his eyes.

He let himself think, as he drifted off to sleep, that he could get used to this.

Joel arrived at the Geoff’s house half an hour after the party had started.

Both Jack and Ray had invited him.

Lindsay opened the door, both her face and her ears showing her surprise. “Joel! Fancy seeing you here. Come in, come in.” She said, ushering him in.

Joel shuffled in, aware that he recognized no one he could see from the doorway. “I was invited.” he informed her.

Lindsay laughed. “Don’t worry I’m not a bouncer. Beers in the kitchen.” She said, patting him on the shoulder and wandering off.

Joel made his way into the kitchen to grab a beer.

He was just about to open the fridge when a couple making out stumbled in. He ignored them as he grabbed a beer and pulled off the cap. He took a sip and was startled when the couple banged against a counter.

He glanced over and was shocked to find it was Geoff being pushed up against the counter by a short muscular man.

Geoff had seen him as well. He lifted a hand in a halfhearted wave.

Joel was disgusted and confused.

How dare Geoff cheat on Jack?

His shameless display of affection for another man infuriated him- especially since Jack was probably in the house already.

Were their other friends in on it? No one else seemed concerned.

He didn’t know the answer, but he did know one thing- he had to find Jack.

As he wandered through the house, searching for Jack, he noted how nice it was. This did not help his anger any and by the time he found Jack his hands itched to set something on fire.

Jack was in a room upstairs that was outfitted with what he assumed was Jack’s thaumaturgy stuff, talking to Gavin and the man with the dad jeans.

They all turned to look at Joel when he entered the room, but didn’t stop their conversation.

“-tell, Ryan’s a reincarnated elemental mage.” Jack was saying.

Gavin’s face went stony for a second but he shook it off. “Is that how he managed to find the cafe’?”

“Yes. I think it’s safe to assume that is the reason. Unless there’s something you’re not telling us?”

The man, Ryan, raised his hands innocently. “I’m still coming to terms with the fact that any of this is real. I have no reason to lie to any of you. If anything, you’re lying to me!”

Jack shook his head. “Give me half an hour. I think I can create something to encourage your past memories to come back.”

“Will that hurt?”

“No. It might be a little uncomfortable, though.”

“Uncomfortable how?”

“Well. You’re basically shoving memories from an entire life back into your head.”

Ryan made an expression that suggested he might not want to gain back these memories, but he didn’t say anything more.

“Thanks for your help, Jack.” Gavin hugged him.

Gavin told Ryan as they left the room, “You know, I once dated an elemental mage. She was-”

Whatever she was, Joel didn’t hear because they had gotten too far away.

“What’s up Joel? How have you been?” Jack asked, pulling a small cauldron out of the closet.

“Jack. I saw something you might want to sit down for.”

Jack sat down on a stool obediently, hugging the cauldron. “What’s up?”

“I saw… I think Geoff is cheating on you. I saw him kissing another guy.”

Surprisingly, Jack laughed. “Let me guess, short guy with bright hair?”

Joel thought back; the guy had had bright green hair. “Yes?” he asked, hesitantly.

“Don’t worry that’s just Jeremy.” Jack started setting up the cauldron on a stand.

“‘Just Jeremy’ seemed awfully familiar with Geoff.” Joel pointed out.

Jack smiled. “I should hope so. They’re dating.”

Joel ran a hand through his hair. “Wait. I’m confused. I thought you were dating Geoff?”

Jack nodded. “I am. I am also dating Jeremy. It’s called polyamory, Joel.”

“Oh.” Joel felt remarkably foolish.

Of course Geoff wouldn’t cheat on Jack in front of everyone they knew.

All the fury left him in an instant and he sat down on a stool next to Jack.

“Thank you for being so concerned for me.” Jack told him, sincerely.

“Of course. You’re my friend.” Joel smiled and watched Jack light a fire under the cauldron. His hands still itched to set something on fire, though his anger had dissipated. He fought the feeling back by rubbing his hands on his jeans.

“Are your hands ok?” Jack asked, noticing the rubbing.

Joel startled. “Yeah. I’m fine.” he lied automatically.

Jack rolled his eyes. “Let me see.”

“I just.” Joel held out his hands to Jack. “...want to set something on fire.” he mumbled.

“Is that normal for you?” Jack asked, curiously.

“When I get angry.”

Jack ran a hand over Joel’s hands and one of his rings lit up bright blue.

It felt like someone had dumped cold water all over his hands. It took a few seconds, but that itching feeling finally died down.

“Did it work?” Jack asked after a while. “Normally I use that for minor healing- or when Geoff is drunk and being belligerent.”

Joel examined his hands. “Yeah, it worked. Thank you.” he sat back, watching Jack adding ingredients to his cauldron. “So how did you manage to get two people to love you?”

Jack smiled at the thought of his paramours. “Lots of hard work and communication. It’s not easy, but it’s very worth it. How is your search going- have you found them?”

Joel fidgeted. “Maybe?”

Jack looked up, surprised. “Really? I’m so happy for you, Joel!” he exclaimed, pulling him in for a hug. “That’s so exciting! Who is it, do I know her?”

Joel wished he could sink into the ground. “I think it’s- I want it to be… Ray.” he whispered, just loud enough for Jack to hear. He hadn’t spoken the words aloud before. Admitting it was both a huge relief and a source of frustration; he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to ask Ray out the way he wanted to.

“As in Catastrophe Cafe’ Ray?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s a good kid. Bit young for you though, isn’t he? And the wrong gender?”

Joel groaned. “I know. There’s just something about him, though…”

Jack hummed in thought. “He could be good for you. He’s certainly a lot more laid back.” he said, nudging Joel playfully.

“What if he isn’t my soulmate? What if he is? I don’t know if I’m ready for this, Jack.”

“You should talk to him about this, not me.”

“I’m scared.” Joel admitted.

“The worst that could happen is he says no. You should go talk to him- I’m going to finish up in here.”

“Ok.” Joel got up and went to the door, dithered a bit, Then he chugged his entire beer- for courage.

Jack snickered behind him as he left the room.

Joel went back downstairs to the kitchen to grab another beer but was waylaid by Geoff before he could reach the fridge.

“Hey! Joel right?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you met Jeremy?” he asked, nodding at the short, bright haired, muscled man.

His hair was now bright purple.

“Hey. I’m dating Geoff and Jack.” he told Joel, shaking his hand.

“So I’ve heard.” Joel nodded.

“We were just about to do some shots- want to join us?” Jeremy said, nodding at Geoff who was pulling bottles of liquor from a cabinet.

“You know what? Sure. Why the fuck not.”

A while later, Joel stumbled out of the kitchen, laughing his ass off.

It turned out that Geoff and Jeremy were hilarious- even more so when Joel was drunk.

He spotted Ray sitting on the couch in the living room, sipping a glass of soda.

“Ray!” he exclaimed, bounding up to him.

“Jo-oof!” ��Ray was winded when Joel flopped on top of him.

He cuddled up to Ray, wrapping his arms around his neck so he couldn’t be pushed off.

“Did you have to sit on my lap? There’s a perfectly good couch right here.” Ray told him, automatically wrapping an arm around Joel’s back to keep him secure.

Joel pouted. “But Raaaay. You’re comfy.” he wiggled a little to make his point. He spent a few minutes, distracted, playing with Ray’s hair. Eventually he nodded to himself. “You need a flower thing.”

“What?”

“A flower thing. Whatever the thing is with the…” he made vague hand motions. “It’s like… I mean, like…” he knotted his fingers together and looked up hopefully at Ray.

Ray raised an eyebrow.

“On your head!” Joel continued, making a weird circle with his hands on Ray’s head.

“Oh do you mean a flower crown?” Ray asked, finally catching on.

“Yes! You need one.”

“Ok.” Ray closed his eyes and concentrated.

Slowly, a circle of stems grew in his hair and twisted around themselves. Buds grew from the stems and bloomed to make a colourful circlet.

“Like that?”

“Perfect!” Joel told him, petting one of the flowers a little too enthusiastically.

“Careful, you’ll squish ‘em.”

Joel’s hand shot back away from Ray’s head and he would have toppled off the couch if not for Ray’s arm around him.

There was a commotion when Ryan stumbled into the living room, clutching his head and screaming. He was followed closely by Gavin who looked extremely worried but unsure what to do.

“My head.” Ryan complained, bumping into the wall.

“Ryan maybe you should sit down?” Gavin asked, awkwardly waving his hands like he didn’t know what to do with them.

Ryan shook his head furiously. “Gavin…”

“Ryan?”

“I remember.”

“What do you remember?”

When Ryan looked up, his eyes were red. He reached over and swept Gavin up into a kiss. “I remember you, Gavin. I remember being her.”

Gavin spluttered against Ryan. “What?”

“I gave you my magic. How did you become…?”

Gavin’s breath caught in his throat. “How did you know that? I’ve never told- Ryan?”

Ryan laughed bitterly. “Don’t you see, Gavin? It’s me. She is me. He is me.”

“But Geoff said- I thought we would never meet again because… Because my soul would be gone.”

Joel was confused. He opened his mouth to state his confusion, but Ray clapped a hand over his mouth and gave him a warning shake of his head.

Joel licked Ray’s hand but all that did was make him roll his eyes.

Ryan seemed to be sharing the same thought, though. “Gavin. I don’t understand. What did you do?”

By now, everyone in the room was hanging on their every word. Everyone who was in other rooms were arriving in the doorways since they had heard the screaming.

Geoff, from the kitchen archway, pointed at Gavin. “Hah! I fucking told you it would work.”

“Can someone explain what’s going on, please?” Ryan asked, looking between Gavin and Geoff.

Gavin cleared his throat as he tried to find his words. “Back before… when I was human. I was in love with an elemental mage. But she was. You were dying.” he told Ryan.

Ryan nodded. “I gave you my magic before I died.”

“After…” Gavin swallowed heavily. “After you passed, I went to Geoff. He had told me before that reincarnated souls don’t meet up again in their next lifetimes. And I didn’t ever want to be away from you so I… I made a deal with him.”

Geoff took up the story then. “Gavin traded me your magic in exchange for your souls meeting again. But Gavin was human then. He wasn’t built to carry magic, and he wasn’t built to let that magic go. It was going to kill him to remove it so I had Dan turn him into a vampire.”

“I wanted to kill myself.” Gavin whispered. “So my soul would be able to meet up with yours. But Geoff said-”

“Vampire souls cease to exist when they die.”

“I thought I’d never see you again.”

“I told you it would fucking work. And I got exiled for this little shitshow so you owe me for all of the complaining you little punk.” Geoff told Gavin.

Gavin looked up at Geoff and smiled. “Thank you, Geoff.” he said as sincerely as possible.

Geoff looked flustered for a second. “Yeah. Well. Don’t waste the time you have with him.”

Gavin turned to Ryan who smiled back at him. “It’s been so long…” he hugged him tightly, before kissing him hard.

When they made no motion to stop kissing, Geoff cleared his throat and started ushering people out of the living room. “Nothing to see here, kiddos.”

Ray ended up staying on the couch because Joel refused to budge. He took his hand away from his mouth and it came away slightly damp. He made a face as he wiped off Joel’s spit.

Joel smiled innocently at Ray.

“So how have you been, Joel?” Ray asked.

“Awful.” he replied, promptly.

“Awful?”

Joel nodded. “My life is awful without you in it.” he told him, earnestly.

“Aw. I’m touched.”

Joel tilted his head. “Can I?”

Ray blinked. “Can you what?”

“Touch you.” Joel made groping motions with his hands.

“I mean- I guess?” Ray didn’t have the heart to say no in the face of Joel’s excitement- or to point out Joel was already sitting on him.

Joel immediately put his hands on Ray’s face. He rubbed his cheeks intently.

“Oh. This is good.” Ray told him, trying not to laugh.

He rubbed at Ray’s temples, skewing his glasses.

“Good. Good. This is fine.”

Joel reached up to play with one of the flowers.

When Joel came away with a petal, Ray lost his composure at his horrified expression and burst into giggles.

“I didn’t mean to break it.” Joel said, offering the petal to Ray.

He took the petal and patted his hand. “I know you didn’t, buddy.”

Joel sniffled. “I love you, man.” he slurred, overcome with emotion.

Ray continued to pat his back, unsure what to do. “Please don’t tell me you’re an emotional drunk.”

Joel shook his head furiously. “I’m not drunk. I only had…” he tried to count on his fingers but got distracted halfway through by Gavin and Ryan flopping on the couch next to them, still making out.

“Gross.” Ray muttered, shifting away from them.

Joel then took it upon himself to smooch Ray’s cheek.

Ray batted his face away. “Stop that.”

Joel was put out and started to sulk.

“Aw Joel don’t be like that.”

“I just want to kiss you.”

Ray sighed. “Tell you what. If you say that to me when you’re not drunk, I’ll let you kiss me all you want, ok?”

Joel nodded so hard he managed to dislodge himself from Ray’s lap and half fell to the floor.

“You ok?”

“My ass hurts.” he replied, clamoring to his feet and showing Ray his butt.

Ray snorted. “Yes, yes, you have got a nice ass, Joel.”

Joel beamed at him.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to Joel, crystal clear in his drunken state. If he slept he would no longer be drunk. If he was no longer drunk, he could kiss Ray.

And so with a muttered “I have to sleep.” to Ray, he wandered off to find a room to sleep in.

He managed to find his way outside before Ray caught up to him.

Jack was standing outside looking at the stars, and was startled to when Joel came up to him and half hugged half draped himself on him, slurring about friendship.

“Man you’re fast.” Ray said, opening the sliding door.

“Jack! Isn’t Ray- tell Ray he’s pretty.”

“You’re pretty, Ray.” Jack said obediently. “The flower crown is a nice touch.”

“Thanks.”

“I gotta sleep.” Joel announced.

Jack looked concerned. “Do you want to crash at mine, Joel?”

Joel thought about it for a while before nodding.

“Alright. I think Lindsay and Michael will be heading out soon, I’ll ask them to drop you off- I’m going to stay here and, uh, clean. I promised Jeremy we could watch a movie tonight, too.”

Joel smiled. “Did you know your boyfriends are very nice? We did- we did shots.”

“Shots of what?” Jack asked suspiciously.

Joel shrugged.

“I’ll just go tell Michael and Bosslady they have a passenger.” Ray told them, gesturing back at the house.

Joel sighed wistfully when Ray left. “I get to kiss him tomorrow.” he informed Jack.

“Oh? Did you talk to him about it, then?”

Joel looked away. “We talked.”

“But not about the soulmate thing?” Jack guessed.

“No…”

“And you’re drunk now.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” he slurred.

Jack raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, only a little bit.”

Jack raised his eyebrow higher.

“A lot bit.”

Eventually Michael came to collect Joel.

The ride was quick and uneventful. When they got him out of the car, Joel insisted he could handle getting up the stairs to Jack’s apartment.

Lindsay and Michael shared a look, but didn’t argue when he managed to climb the stairs with some amount of accuracy and minimal problems.

He reached the door he was certain was Jack’s and tried to open it with the spare key Jack had given him.

The key didn’t fit.

Joel tried to jam it in, figuring it was probably user error, but that didn’t work either. In his frustration he tried the handle and the door opened.

He looked at the key, confused, wondering if he had unlocked the door without realizing it.

The apartment didn’t smell very much like Jack but it did smell familiar, so he went in anyways.

It was hard for him to navigate; he didn’t have the foresight to turn on the light, he was still drunk, and the room was unfamiliar. But he found the couch all the same and collapsed onto it, exhausted. He cuddled up with one of the pillows and fell asleep almost immediately.

A startled scream awoke Joel, who was quite comfortable in the sun, even though the couch seemed harder than it had the night before.

“Joel?” A familiar voice asked. “What the fuck?”

Joel mumbled something like “5 more minutes” and curled up tighter around some unknown cylindrical object.

“Joel wake the fuck up.”

“Don’t wanna.”

“How the fuck did you get onto my balcony?”

This caught his attention.

Slowly he opened his eyes to be greeted with searing pain in his head, bright sunlight, and a rose.

Somehow, during the night, Joel had stolen a pillow from the couch, made his way outside, and curled up around one of the potted plants.

He rolled over to find Ray standing over him, utterly bewildered by this turn of events. He was holding a plastic cup full of water and it looked like he was tempted to pour it on Joel.

He pointed at Joel. “Why are you cuddling my roses?”

Joel looked back at the plant then back at Ray and shrugged. “It smelled like you.”

Ray raked a hand over his face. “How the fuck did you get into my apartment?”

“I don’t know. I thought this was Jack’s?”

“Jack lives above me.”

Joel tried to concentrate, the pounding in his head making it a little difficult. “I don’t remember. What happened last night?” he sat up slowly, fighting off mild vertigo.

“You got piss ass drunk is what happened. Michael and Lindsay were supposed to have dropped you off at Jack’s but clearly that did not happen.”

Joel rooted through his pockets to see if they held any clue as to what had happened. He pulled out the spare key Jack had given him and squinted at it. “This isn’t mine. Is it yours?”

Ray shook his head. “Not mine. Probably Jack’s.”

Joel hummed in agreement.

“That still doesn’t explain how you ended up here.”

“I know.”

Ray rolled his eyes and closed the balcony door, collecting himself. He sat down next to Joel and started to water his plants. “Uno… dos…. three in spanish… four in spanish.”

When he was finished, he leaned over and took the pillow from where Joel had been sleeping and laid back, stretching out his limbs like a cat. He made a noise that sounded like “meehhh.”

“What are you doing?” Joel asked.

“Getting some sun, what does it look like?”

Joel shrugged.

“I hate the sun, but we need it to survive, yanno?” he told him, closing his eyes.

Joel hummed in agreement.

“You should probably text Jack about the key.” Ray pointed out.

Joel did so, but a nagging feeling was in the back of his head. “Why do I feel like I’ve forgotten something important?” he muttered to himself.

“Did you do your goesintos?”

“What?”

‘You know- one goes into one one time, one goes into two two times, one goes into three three times.”

Joel gave him a perplexed look.

“Never heard of it?”

“No.”

Ray shrugged.

Joel scooted over and laid his head on Ray’s stomach. “What time is it?”

“Almost ten, I think.” Ray’s hand came up and began petting Joel’s hair.

“Want to go get food later?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

They laid there, soaking up the sun, for a long while.

Ray was over at Joel’s.

It was beginning to feel like a normal thing, having Ray over.

Even if Ray made a habit of getting cold and stealing Joel’s hoodie off of him.

He had arrived bearing gifts- a bottle of Goldschlager and a bag of chocolate coins.

“I bet you think you’re funny.” Joel had remarked.

“Fuck you, I’m hilarious.” Ray had responded.

Joel was currently staring at the tv, waiting for Ray to come back so they could continue their game, when he heard Ray call his name very loudly from his spare room, a tinge of panic in his voice.

“What is it? Ray?” A stupid part of him wanted to quip about how Ray must have gotten lost on his way to the bathroom, though there had been a significant time since he had left.

Ray was sitting, cross legged, on the floor in the middle of the room. He looked up as Joel entered the room, frantically trying to do something with his hands. “I can’t get it off.”

“Get what off?” That stupid part of Joel wanted to make another joke at this point. “Ray, what happened?”

Ray sighed and guiltily lifted his hand up so Joel could see the familiar glint of gold on his ring finger. “I know I shouldn’t have but it was like. Calling to me. I swear. And when I put it on there was a weird flash and it melded to my finger or something?”

Joel was hit with a combination of betrayal that Ray would so brazenly disrespect his property and a swell of love to see it on his finger.

Ray let out a sardonic laugh. “I guess I should have expected this from a ring that says ‘Forever’ on it.”

Joel blinked, suddenly dazed. “What?”

“What?” Ray asked, pulling at the ring some more.

“You can read it?” Joel asked frantically, willing it to be true.

Ray looked at him skeptically like he was making a joke. “Of course I can read it. It says ‘Forever and Always’ on it in plain english.”

When Joel continued to stare at him in wonder he narrowed his eyes.

“You can read it, can’t you? Joel?”

But Joel wasn’t listening anymore. His brain had finally processed what this meant.

He fell to his knees in front of Ray.

“I’m sorry. Does it mean a lot to you? Oh no. Joel. Don’t cry. I’m sure we can get it off- and if all else fails we can always chop my finger off.” Ray said, trying to make light of the situation. “Please, don’t cry.” He tried to calm Joel down.

Joel couldn’t hear him over the rushing noise in his ears. “It’s you. It was always you. It’s you.” His hands came up of their own accord and made to touch Ray, but stopped, hesitantly, a few inches from him. Joel was suddenly so scared that Ray wasn’t real- that he had been a hallucination or that he would disintegrate if he touched him.

“Joel?” Ray reached up and grabbed one of Joel’s hands, breaking him out of his reverie. “What’s going on?” he asked in a small voice, unsure of if he truly wanted to know.

“Ray.” Joel said, running his free hand over Ray’s cheek. “You’re real.”

Ray snorted. “I mean, yeah. I have been for twenty some odd years.”

“Ray.” Joel tried to get his meaning across through his tone. He wanted, more than anything in the world, to kiss Ray in that moment.

Ray reached up and brushed the tears away from Joel’s face. “You’re gonna have to use your words, Joel. You know me. Slow on the uptake.”

Joel swallowed heavily and nodded.

“The ring- it’s… it’s for my soulmate.” he whispered, staring at Ray like he was trying to memorize him.

Ray’s eyes widened. “Fuck. Fuck! I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have touched it. And now it’s stuck on me. I’m such a fucking...” he struggled to find an adequate word to describe him but failed to come up with one.

Joel shook his head. “Only. They’re the only one who can…”

“Take it off?” Ray guessed. “Shit man. I guess that means I have to help you find them. I mean, I would have helped anyways, we’re friends and all that, but now I-”

“They’re the only one who can read it.” Joel interrupted quietly.

Ray was stunned into silence.

He looked down at the ring, then back at Joel. “But-” he stared at the ring. “I can-” And back at Joel. “It has to be a mistake.” And back to the ring. “I’m not…”

Joel could barely breathe, the rejection hit him so hard. “No.” His voice cracked, overcome with emotion. “I’m sorry.” he wrenched his hand out of Ray’s and made to stand up.

Ray pulled him back down. “No! Joel. I didn’t mean- I just- It’s a lot to take in- It’s not like I- I do like you- But I mean- Are you sure?”

Joel nodded jerkily.

Ray inhaled sharply. “Ok.” he muttered. “Ok. This? This is fine.” he let out a strained laugh. “Right Joel? Everything is fine.” He nodded to himself. “We’re fine. We’ve got all of our limbs, and our health, and everything is fine.”

“Ray?”

“I think I’m panicking, Joel.”

Joel slowly pulled him into a crushing hug. “It’s ok.”

They sat there, on the floor in the middle of Joel’s spare room, surrounded by his hoard, for a long time, shaking in each other’s arms.

Joel closed his eyes and tried to memorize the feeling of holding Ray in his arms, lest it be the one and only time it would ever happen. His tears dropped onto the shoulder of his hoodie but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Ray smelled the same as he always did, but it was infinitely more comforting now that he knew he was his soulmate.

He wondered if this could become a habit. The feeling of Ray in his arms was addicting.

Ray was taking deep breaths, nestled against Joel’s shoulder. He chuckled. “Did you know you smell like smoke?” he muttered.

“I do not. You are making that up.”

Ray pulled away slightly. “I am not. You smell like the beginning of a barbeque.”

Joel snorted. “I think you’re just imagining things.”

“I think you’re in denial.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.” Ray challenged.

Joel’s heart hurt as he stared at Ray in his arms. He wanted to kiss him to shut him up. “I really want to.” he whispered, looking away from Ray’s prying gaze at his lips.

Ray swallowed heavily. “Then do it.”

Joel searched Ray’s face for a sign of hesitation and found none. He leaned in slowly, giving Ray time to pull away if he wanted to. When their lips met in a peck it was very anti-climactic. They both half laughed and adjusted their faces to properly kiss one another. Joel could feel Ray smiling under him, and his hands came up to grab onto Joel’s arms. Joel brought his hands up to Ray’s face and kissed him deeper, desperate now that he had permission. His heart was pounding so hard he wondered if it would break free of his chest.

Joel kept pushing himself closer and closer until they toppled over, laughing. He buried his head in the nape of Ray’s neck and laid there on him, glad that Ray was warm and so very alive.

Ray stared up at the ceiling, idly rubbing Joel’s back. “Hey Joel?”

‘Mmmhmm?”

“As great as your floor is, can we do this on a softer surface please?”

“I don’t wanna let go.” Joel told him, pouting.

“But just think. We can do this in your bed. And when we wake up in the morning I won’t have a broken back.”

Joel sighed, but complied, pulling them up to sitting. He smooched Ray on the lips before heaving himself up and offering a hand to him. “Need some help up?”

Ray grinned as he let Joel pull him up, remembering when they had first met. “At least I didn’t collapse in the middle of the street.” he remarked, sticking his tongue out.

Joel huffed but didn’t respond, too busy relishing the feeling of holding Ray’s hand in his.

He tugged Ray out of the spare room and into the bedroom, sparing a glance at the tv where their game was still paused, but putting it out of his head because much more important things were happening.

Ray snorted when he saw Joel’s bed, the sheets all bunched up and blankets everywhere. “Dude you sleep in a nest.”

Joel scowled. “I do not.”

Ray pointed at the bed with his free hand. “That’s a nest. You sleep in a nest of blankets.”

“Shut up.” Joel muttered, embarrassed.

Ray turned to him with a sly smile. “Why don’t you make me?”

Joel grinned back and backed him up against the bed. “Is this going to be a habit of yours I need to watch out for?” he asked, wrapping his free arm around Ray’s waist to pull them closer together.

Ray stiffened a little at the reminder. “It’s not a bad one, at least.” he looked up at Joel, searching his eyes for something. “We should really talk about this.”

Joel nodded. “But do we have to do it now?” he tried to sound like he wasn’t whining.

“I mean. I’d kinda like to know some things so I can sleep tonight.”

Joel sighed but let Ray tug him back into the living room.

They sat down cross legged and facing each other on the sofa, Joel still clutching Ray’s hand like a lifeline.

Joel reached over and turned off the tv so he wouldn’t be distracted.

“So…” Ray said, picking at the seam of the sofa. “What exactly is a soulmate for you?”

It took him a while to articulate an answer. “Well. Um. It’s like. Someone I’m able to spend my life with? That’s meant to be a significant part of my life.”

“And it can’t just be anyone?”

“Well. I guess it can. But it always ends up being only one person. And they’re always special.”

Ray snorted. “What like ‘My mommy says I’m special’ special?”

“No! No. Like… “You’re the sun in the sky”, special.”

“So. No pressure then.” Ray laughed awkwardly.

“You are, you know. Special.” Joel told him, as sincerely as was possible. “I wouldn’t have… I wouldn’t liked you so much if you weren’t, you know?”

“Not really, but I’ll take your word for it.” Ray said, scratching the back of his head and looking away.

Joel brought his hand up to rest on Ray’s cheek until Ray peered back up at him. “You really are an amazing person. Even if you weren’t my soulmate, I’d be so happy just to be your friend.”

Ray blushed. “I’m glad to have you as a friend, as well.”

Joel fidgeted. “You can say no, you know.”

“No to what?”

“To being my soulmate- I mean you’ll always be my soulmate, but you don’t have to, like, be in a relationship with me, or talk to me ever again if you don’t want to. And I know I’m old and you’re just hitting the prime of your life- I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to date other people instead.”

Ray nodded pensively. “I’m not going to lie, turning tail and running for the hills sounds like a very good option right now. I don’t know if I’m ready for the responsibility of such a permanent long-lasting relationship because I’ve never really been in one. But I’ve been wanting one for a long time. I’ve wanted to… plant my roots, so to speak.” he said, winking at Joel who snickered.

“It’s not all-or-nothing. We don’t have to make it some big thing if you don’t want to.”

“But it is. For you at least. It will always be a big thing.” His face twitched. “I’m trying really hard not to make a dick joke right now.”

Joel groaned.

Ray brightened up. “Does this mean I can touch your tail?”

Joel squinted at him. “I would have let you touch it if you had asked.”

Ray shrugged uncomfortably. “I dunno, man, it seems like a very personal thing.”

Joel brought his tail up beside them and poked Ray in the leg with the tip.

Ray brushed his fingers along it, the motion more intimate than intended

A shiver ran up Joel’s spine.

“Um. Maybe we should do that later.” Joel said, putting his hand on Ray’s.

Ray looked up from where he was rubbing his finger against a scale.

When he saw Joel blushing his smile turned sly. “Not a personal thing, eh?”

“Shu… argh goddamnit. We’re supposed to be having a serious conversation here.” Joel said, scrubbing his free hand across his face.

“Serious conversations are overrated.” Ray replied, shrugging. “Can I touch your nubblies?”

“Later.” Joel replied sternly.

“They are pretty though.”

“Thank you.”

“I like the way they’re black but shine gold in the light.”

“Ray.”

“I’m just sayin.” He shrugged.

Joel ran a finger over the ring on Ray’s hand. “I need to know- do you actually like me?”

“Well. Do you actually like me? Or is it just your soulmate voodoo?” Ray retorted, wiggling his fingers.

“Of course I like you Ray. I told you I’d be happy to be-”

“No, I mean, are you like… attracted to me?”

Joel hesitated. “I am.”

“But?”

“But I’ve never been attracted to guys before.”

“Neither have I.”

They sat there staring at each other for a long minute.

“So what does this mean?” Ray asked.

“But I am attracted to you. I don’t- I don’t know if it’s because of the soulmate bond or- or if it’s me- or if it’s just you. But I am. And I don’t think that’s going to change anytime soon.” Joel tried to explain.

Ray smiled. “I am attracted to you. I actually wanted to ask you out the first day we met, but I wimped out.”

“So. Do you... want to start a relationship?”

Ray smirked. “Are you asking me to go steady with you?” he teased.

Joel figeted. “Yes.”

Ray pretended to think about it for a second.“Yes.”

Joel breathed a sigh of relief.

Ray poked him. “Did you really think I was gonna say no?”

“Well I don’t know. I know it’s a lot to take.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m not willing to try.”

Joel smiled softly.

“Can I touch your nubblies now?” Ray asked, doing the bunny ear motion again with his free hand.

Joel groaned.

Joel awoke slowly. He was so comfortable and drowsy it felt a little like floating through molasses. He was wrapped around a warm body and he could feel the contentment radiating off it in waves.

When he finally had the willpower to open his eyes it was to see a head of black hair.

He remembered what had transpired the night before and his heart ached again. He pulled Ray closer and relished the feeling of having him in his arms.

“Good morning.” Ray whispered.

“Excellent morning.” Joel replied, burying his face in the nape of Ray’s neck and trying to snuggle closer.

There was a lull where they just breathed together.

“I still don’t know what to think about all this.” Ray admitted, eventually.

“It’s a lot to take in, huh?”

Ray nodded, staring at the ring on his finger.

Joel slid his hand down Ray’s arm. “Could you hold this for me?” he asked, offering his hand.

Ray snickered and took it. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You love me for it.” Joel said before he could stop himself.

Ray patted Joel’s hand. “So when did you get this nifty tattoo?” he asked, running a finger along the dotted line.

“College. I had a run in with a table saw.”

“A table saw gave you a tattoo?” Ray sounded incredulous.

“Yep.”

“What really happened?”

“They took the skin on the side of my hand and grafted it onto my thumb. I thought it would be funny to put a cut-out tattoo around the scar.”

“You can’t really see the scar.”

“I know.” Joel groaned.

“It looks really neat though.” Ray said, bringing the hand up so he could kiss it.

“You look really neat.”

“I know.”

Joel kissed Ray’s cheek. “I’m really glad you found me.”

Ray smiled and rolled over in his arms so he could kiss him on the lips.

He grinned up at Joel. “Am I everything you wanted?”

Joel grinned back. “And more. Much, much more.”

#joelay #freewood #juggey #ragehappy #coffeeshop au #soulmate au #magic au #acindraquill #yarntx

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ellescharacters · 6 years ago

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ALMA / 60s / open occupation open fc difficulty to fit in a wanted ad: mid

former war correspondent

got shot at in her mid 30s. got pulled out from the field and became a regular reporter - was pissed af about it

would make you look like a fool on tv in front of millions of people. also sit outside your office every day for as long as it takes for you to talk to her/answer her questions

in her early 30s she met a war doctor while abroad and the two had a kid they gave up for adoption

met her husband in her mid/late 30s. got married. had kids.

idk what happened to the husband yet but.....

she was EXCITED AF to be living alone and have all of her children out of the house. she was ready to enter her silver years ya know? she spent her whole life dedicating herself either to her job or her kids and she never had a chance to kind of stop and say “who is alma?”. so she was ready to re-discover herself. maybe start taking painting lessons. travel... go on a cruise! why not! and then for w/e reason her grandkids (early 20s) had to move in with her and fuck!!!!!!!!! she loves them so much but fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

honestly will only bring her to the site if ppl will play her grandkids

open / late 50s or early 60s / scientist jeff goldblum difficulty to fit in a wanted ad: mid

parents had a lot of money. parents lost all of their money.

he’s chill and hardworking af and actually doesn’t mind taking a step back and hearing other people’s ideas etc etc.... but people can be so incompetent oh my gdo!!!!!!!! it drives him up the wall

he’s probably a computer scientist / programmer

twice or trice divorced

kind.......... of a neglectful dad tbh

honestly will likely only bring him if i can have a couple pre-establish connections like his kids, friends, enemies, etc

VENETIA / 30s

PERSONALITY TRAITS: Venetia hates the idea of being average/ordinary, and has always she come off as this interesting girl who has a bunch of life experience (and she does, in a way) but in the end, she really is just /a girl/. her whole life is pretty much her showing the world how she wants to be perceived even though she’s a total lie herself. she tells at least 5 lies every day to make herself seem more interesting.

POSSIBLE OCCUPATION: designer, waitress, bartender, gossip reporter, actress, burlesque dancer, flight attendant, model

Wendy / late 20s or 30s

PERSONALITY TRAITS: wendy was raised by hippie parents which... my god, she doesn't hate them but she also can't stand to be around them. wendy is: hardworking, sociable, guarded, liar, lonely, romantic, deep down a good person she’s just so stuck and wants more out of her life

POSSIBLE OCCUPATION: secretary, hotel maid, gossip journalist

Genevieve (martha’s sister?)/ late 20s or early 30s /

PERSONALITY TRAITS: a+ friend, romantic, outgoing, optimist, determined, dedicated, a little obsessive especially when it comes to romantic relationships. seriously wants a relationship she’s 100% in love with the idea of love and being with someone forever and she’s not ashamed of this at all.

POSSIBLE OCCUPATION: editorialist, pediatric surgeon, art restorer, curator, pharmacist, radio personality, engineer, baker, restaurant owner

JOSIE / early/mid 20s / probs waitress or cashier probably freya mavor idk difficulty to fit in a wanted ad: low-mid

sociable, romantic, adventurous, impulsive, privileged, naive, kind, fun, brave, self-centred.

rich kid who threw a fit and walked out and has been living as a “”poor”” person for at least 7 months now. she started dating a boy she met at work and moved in with him and they are v happy in their shitty little apartment............ and he doesn’t know she’s rich but when he finds out he’s going to feel extremely played and like the whole thing is just a game to her. it’ll be angsty. they’ll break up but ~love will win~...... but it’ll be hard.

she’s not a bad person she’s just very privileged and so... clueless and naive about how the world actually works? also young, which... just adds more fuel to the fire lmao

*MALENA / 28-36 / bartender probably kate mara or krysten ritter difficulty to fit in a wanted ad: mid

walking shit-show and i love her for it... a lot dont tho and i don’t blame them

has gone grocery shopping wearing her pjs under some oversized coat at some point. drunk girl in the bathroom who compliments you and tries to (poorly) braid your hair. queen of unprompted defensiveness. vice-president of the casual self-deprecating jokes club. uncertified sucker for the underdog. board games & bar games afectionado. spends way too much time on the "diy" section of youtube. wine AND vodka aunt. creative curser. not an excellent cook but makes the best burgers you'll taste in your life - also pancakes, in under 8 minutes. walking library of quick/lazy meals. low-key vague personification of "I can't wait for my friends to start getting married bc the idea of getting trashed on champagne, hitting on everyone and making speeches while two people I love commit to a life of monogamy is a strong one". has -0 idea of what she's doing and no idea how she feels about it.

has like 4 half-siblings and 2 step-siblings and doesn’t get along with any of them bc that’s malena 4 you.

(one of her step-siblings is actually her half-sister NOT her step-sister bc malena’s dad and her step/half-sister’s mom were banging each other while they were still married. she doesn’t know this yet but regardless it’s fine everything is FINE)

( listen... malena’s relationship with her step/half-sister is actually deeply tragic to me and i adore both of them dearly - the step/half-sister has known the truth for a couple years now but kept it to herself because she’s that kind of person - she’s good to the core and she’s been carrying this secret all by herself. she’s been trying very hard to have a relationship with malena ... sadly malena isn’t being very helpful. )

malena worked as an assistant to a wedding planner for two years. didn’t hate it. nobody believes it and she doesn’t particularly care.

genuinely good, kind, and nonjudgmental people are people malena low-key admires and looks up to. if one of them becomes her friend, she’ll literally fight for them if it comes down to it. honestly malena’s self-preservation is very very high so when she does let someone in she’s 1000% ride or die for them.

people have the tendency to just.... open up to her / talk to her and she doesn’t know why!!!!!!!!!!!! she doesn’t even ask them anything she’s not even nice !!!!!!!!!!!! stop this nonsense!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bc then she starts low-key getting invested

she always feels the need to defend/prove herself. basically, she never learned how to express herself in a healthy/normal way. she misjudges people's intentions and words more often than she should, but she's always so worried about protecting herself that she can't help it. also she has pretty impulsive knee-jerk reactions when it comes to any kind of abuse/bullying.

malena isn't a commitment-phobe; she's a repressed hopeless romantic in denial and she's been that way all her life but she only started truly realising it a couple of years back. she low-key wants to be showered in love and be able to love someone like that in return, but she's cultivated an image of herself that's incompatible with this. she has always worn her individualism as a kind of weapon and she’s conditioned to associate backtracking with weakness, so, yeah, she's been struggling with living for herself as opposed to the image people have of her.

i'm sure she's still on good terms/friends with some of the people she's gotten involved with in the past because she really isn't a petty person in this regard. (pseudo-)exs on good terms, (pseudo-)exs on bad terms, messy relationships, flings, something else entirely... i'm open to all things.

literally every relationship or pseudo relationship she’s been in has been a shit show. often comical. still a shit show. (like that time she dated a guy who was in a long distance relationship and he literally forgot he had a gf. or that time she got involved with some sort of bruce wayne wannabe. or that time she dated a violinist - violinists have.. issues stay tf away from them. or that time she dated an indie movie director who was an absolute mess of a person. fun fucking times!!!!!!)

started sleeping with her boss and may or may not have feelings for him.......... and he just found out he has a kid from an ex ....... a 13 year old kid..........please kill her

*EVELYN / late 30S or 40S / actress probably amy adams or rose byrne if she’s not taken difficulty to fit in a wanted ad: mid-high

was adopted around age 10 by some rich couple who really only adopted so they could get extra brownie points within their circle of friends…… but they didn’t want to adopt a baby because that’s just too much work ya know? this doesn’t mean that evelyn wasn’t loved because she was - she is - and honestly her parents never demanded any more or less of her than they did of their other biological children. her brother(s) often joke that she’s actually the favourite child because she never had a rebellious phase and she’s always been extremely appreciative of her parents.

(she has a sister who is 5 years younger - they were put up in dif foster homes and... it’s complicated. evelyn could have fought for being closer to her sister but didn’t, primarily because she was told her sister had a better chance of getting adopted - especially if she was lone. they haven’t seen each other in over two decades if my math is correct)

took like, a bunch of extracurricular yet somehow never fucking learnt how to swim

very polite and politically correct, one of those people with perfect posture. pleasant to be around but doesn’t socialise or share a lot about herself and her life which can really make her seem either fake and/or stuck-up and/or too serious - actually just very shy by nature.

she’s often misunderstood by people who don’t know her well, or by journalists who don’t actually take the time to sit down and talk to her.

some people probably think she bought her career but 1) her parents are rich, snobbish, and pretentious but they literally couldn’t care less about the entertainment industry tbh & 2) they’d never buy their children a career bc they believe that if you want something you work hard to get it

her career is a mixture of amy adam’s and jessica chastain’s.

the parts she picks are all very carefully chosen (and lbh when she first started she could afford to do this bc it’s not like she had to worry about money even tho her parents weren’t exactly supporting her). she probably started being credited in movies while she was still at college, but they were very small parts. it took her a long time to break-out because did a lotttt of theater at first but the parts she picked were always those small/supporting roles you know will lead you to the big ones one day and that’s exactly what happened. for those who didn’t follow her career she seemingly just.... showed up out of nowhere and jumped straight into the spotlight but she was like 32 when this happened and already had several movies under her belt.

her fiancé cheated on her one time and it’s a whole ordeal bc everyone has a god damn opinion about it but it’s... complex. the cheating was obviously all his fault but there was a lot of miscommunication happening and now... now she’s the one not cooperating. it’s very angsty and there’s lots of ups and downs and very happy moments and extremely sad moments (and they might end up taking a break at some point) and everything is a thousand times worse when your life is splashed in the front page of magazines. they do love each other very much, and that kind of makes everything worse. i have a whole plot written for it lmao

*GAVIN / MID OR 30S / firefighter or cook or smth else open fc difficulty to fit in a wanted ad: mid

As a kid Gavin had a massive attitude problem and serious unresolved issues, but once he was determined to get over them he never looked back.

He was never a genuinely bad person, it’s just that the environment in which he was raised, especially in his teens, gave him a very wrong idea of how a person, especially a boy from his social class, should go about in the world and conditioned him to act in a certain way. Even if he did help around the house a lot (honestly he was kind of a fiona gallagher in a way) he was raised (not by his family in particular but the community as a whole) with a very stereotypical notion of what boys are supposed to act like. I don’t think he ever thought too much of it, if it was right or wrong or just plain backyards thinking, it was just his reality.

He went through three decisive moments which essentially shaped his life. The first one was his mother’s death, he was around 7 and he processed it the way a young boy raised in the environment he was raised in would, plus he had a slightly older brother and it was easy to just follow his footsteps. Close as they were, their bonding was often over the wrong things or in the wrong way, and while they were already close as young children after their mother’s death they became even closer and that was also the time they started taking the art of being troublemakers to another level.

The second one was not going to college. He made it there, and on a scholarship (and he was a year younger than most of his peers and all because he got into high school a year earlier), but pretty much blew that and just walked away back home. For a while, particularly while he was trying to get his shit together, this was a part of his past that deeply disturbed him and he beat himself up about it constantly but eventually he reached the conclusion that stupid as his actions were they got him where he is, so he sort of feels like it just had to happen.

The third one was his eldest brother’s death. He died in a bar fight, or more accurately after it, and Gavin was there and he was involved. His brother’s passing really made him go off the deep end - extremely bad decisions were made during that time and a couple of those landed him in juvie. Even though that’s obviously not a good thing to have on your CV, or to just share with anyone let’s be honest, it truly the only time in his life where he seriously acted out, crashed, and then was able to evaluate himself, and angry as he was when he initially got there, being surrounded by people who had done worse things than him only made him realize that their situations and futures weren’t things he wanted for himself - they weren’t things he wanted to conform himself to.

Easier said (or thought) than done, however. He didn’t have any money of his own when he got out, nor did he have proper support, and on top of all of the things he had left on hold prior to going to juvie his half-sister also started getting herself into serious trouble. It’s not easy to get out of the place in which he was raised, either you’re lucky or risk it all or the circumstances just aren’t in your favor and no one is really rooting for you. He had some street debts to pay (both his and his brother’s), he had actual bills to help paying… it just wasn’t a good situation.

So he got a job and spent years just trying to do what he had to do to get people off his back (and it was around during this period that he started cooking at one of his jobs in a shitty joint). When he was 22/23 he nearly landed himself in jail because of his half-sister - at that point she was really young, she didn’t have a record and he didn’t want her to mess up her life so early on and potentially in such a permanent manner. Luckily he got away with community service (and his service included working with food). His half-sister apologized to him a lot, and she was thankful, but she didn’t really do anything to change her behavior. This whole affair was essentially his final drop; he was absolutely done with that whole environment and his situation, and he realised that he needed to go elsewhere, do or try something else, because if he stayed as much as he wanted to turn his life around it wasn’t going to happen.

Currently lives with a coworker but for a while he lived with an old acquaintance who used to be extremely close to his eldest brother (and by extremely close I mean, more than friends extremely close) and who was still up to his old tricks but he was very welcoming and didn’t bother Gavin in the least. Plus they had opposite schedules which Gavin found perfect because for most of the time he felt like the place was his alone (which was extremely important because it gave him time and space to develop and better himself as an individual).

He’s just a guy living his life not thinking too much about things or worrying about the future. He doesn’t trust easily though and he’s often suspicious of people’s intentions.

PS: low-key really want a “we had a crappy blind date and ended up just having sex and it’s been about a month and i just got a text from u and wait what you’re pregnant??” plot for him

*ELEANOR / MID 30S / radio show host or uni professor, probs both tbh probably gemma arterton or olivia munn if she’s not taken difficulty to fit in a wanted ad: mid

"Sunday morning with a slight hangover in the gym with no makeup on.... not going to get off this treadmill but I am considering putting my sunglasses on." that’s the eleanor #mood

if hogwarts was real, she'd have been sorted into slytherin (which is obvs a v important detail).

she's the legal guardian of her niece and nephew. she had a twin sister who died she and her husband nominated her as legal guardian of the kids - she's still learning how to handle/process this.

(she... never liked being a twin, she actually hated it and she and her twin lead every different lives, but now that her twin is gone it’s... it’s odd and she’s dealing with it the best she can. she feels guilty in a way even tho she obvs knows their death was not her fault in any way)

she’s force of nature; a very well presented cocktail of audacity, resourcefulness, energy, and confidence. she likes to think she's just staying in her lane doing her thing but she's def likes to know what's going on and if you ask for her opinion you're certainly going to get an honest answer ¯\_(ツ)_/.

honestly she totally is a "when life gives you lemons...." person: sociable, determined, headstrong, practical, outgoing, super confident, unapologetic... she can be kind of selfish and pig-headed sometimes, and she does have trouble backing away from challenges... those are two of her big flaws. she doesn't like to depend on anything or anyone and she's afraid of investing in things that will lead nowhere

when she was a teen she occasionally often made questionable life choices... altho lbh she still does, although not as often and probably not as questionable.

she's engaged (i don't know exactly how long it's been, but it hasn't been over four years), but she's definitely dated/seen other people in the past. her current relationship aside, she likely was never in any long-term/serious relationships, but if you have ideas feel free to share because honestly i live for pre-established character connections and #drama/angst.

*VALENTINA / mid30S / idk probably diane guerrero if she’s not taken difficulty to fit in a wanted ad: mid

a bit of a shy child, her parents immigrated to wales when she was 6. struggled a lot but never once complained - she was young, but old and skewed enough to realize that if her parents were leaving so much behind it was out of necessity not desire.

her younger sister was only one year old when the family moved to wales (so she grew up surrounded by english culture and fully embracing it - way too much, at times), her older brother, who got to spend his 9th anniversary in a small and damp house surrounded by no friends and family other than his parents and sisters, gave their parents a very hard time by becoming moody and picking fights.

unlike many middle children, valentina didn't suffer from middle child syndrome - she didn't have the time to, anyway. when she wasn't struggling with her social life and the english language, she spent her time devouring books, cautiously exploring the city, taking care of her sister, and making sure her brother stayed out of trouble (and, later on, making sure that her sister stayed out of trouble as well).

her father died when she was 15 - he'd been feeling ill for a couple months, but it was a shock all the same. valentina and her brother had been arguing a lot then (for a variety of, primarily mundane, reasons) and their father's passing only made it worse.

with her husband's death, valentina's mothes decided that she owned it to his memory to be a little braver - life is short after all - and about a year later she ended up meeting a guy who............. was not.............. a good person...................... but he was comfortable in life and she liked him and she thought he could help her give her children an education etc etc etc

it started with microaggressions and then not so micro ones and the next thing she knew her brother was getting smacked for lack of respect. it wasn't the first nor the last time it happened, and at one point or the other everyone got to experience what the palm of his hand felt like against their cheek or the feeling of his long fingers wrapping tightly around their arm - she got her first bruise for speaking spanish.

her brother’s girlfriend at the time was an absolute angel who helping out and with the help of her family they managed to have him kicked out in Easter. valentina's brother's girlfriend and her family offering their own house as a place for them to stay for as long as they wish.

anyway she goes to college and she’s ends up studying abroad for a while and on her first day back, she walks into her home and is greeted by a man she's never seen before - her sister popping up from the kitchen with a smile, casually and cheerfully explaining the situation. valentina knows, even before she puts her bag down, that this will end poorly. he sounds charming at first but she's met charming men like him before, and when she asks him to leave it's when he starts showing his true colours (she's not shocked in the least but she is, in a way, surprised that he put up such a poor fight and that it took so little time for him to snap). she ends up with a black eye and a bruised cheek, he ends up in the hospital. her sister promises her it was the last time.

her current job as a diplomat is one she loves - she had a good mentor too, which helped - but she never dreamed that she'd end up where she is today - she could never have, it was a dream that was so unfathomable it never even existed - and even though she has always worked hard she never even worked to have the life she has, not exactly. she never did anything with any goals in particular in mind. her only goals were always to make her parents proud and not to become a statistic.

optional: she’s in an unofficial love/hate relationship with either a journalist or another diplomat from another country and it’s.... complicated and angsty af

FRANK / 30s / late night show host open fc difficulty to fit in a wanted ad: low

all i have so far for him is that he is a late night show host. think trevor noah. probably was a voice actor at some point (or still is)

don’t have a lot for him so if im bringing him onto the site i def need to fit him in a specific plot

Owen / idk / idk open fc

there was never anything special about owen, and (although it often made him jealous that his brother was more outgoing and less anxious) - he was just a regular middle class boy and he never felt the strong desire to be any other way.

when he was in junior year he got into a car accident with his brother - the two were arguing about something stupid and the car swerved off the lane. since then, owen lives with chronic back-pain and his demeanor has changed significantly. he’s less approachable and more grumpy, in addition, he dropped out of college because of his anxiety which is something he’s very ashamed off.

"eliza” (might switch to a male character) / idk / idk open fc

✈ eliza was brought up in lower-class family in a lower middle class neighborhood. her childhood wasn’t crappy, her parents weren’t abusive, and she always had clean clothes and food on the table (sometimes it was hard, and the family certainly didn’t splurge, but her basic necessities were almost always met). neither of her parents finished college - her father dropped out and her mother didn’t even make it to college because her family didn’t have enough money to put her through it.

✈ eliza’s father, brian, is a first generation immigrant, her mother, karen, was born and raised in colorado. the two went to the same high school and that’s where they met and dated for a solid year before breaking up. they reconnected later (when they were in their mid 20s) at a mall where eliza’s mother was waiting tables and her father worked as a security guard. the truth about eliza's parents is that they clung to one another: the don’t hate each other, but they don’t love each other either, they never did. they stayed together primarily out of fear and concern that nothing better would come along - because it was convenient. they’re both people who could have gotten much further in life than what they did and, in many aspects, this is one thing that has always deeply bothered eliza. they never tried, they never pushed themselves, they never did anything for things to go any other way than the way they did. their conformism and apathy are two things eliza has always detested, and a part of her still holds this against them.

✈ growing up, eliza was very aware that she didn’t look like most people around her. in both pre-school and middle-school she was the only multiracial child. throughout her early years and teenage-hood comments and questions about, primarily, her eyes and parents were heard often - some innocent and curious, others less so. she’s not a stranger to maliciousness, bullying, and the direct consequences of ignorance, and saying that none of it never effected her would be a lie. her different looks and lack of monetary means always made her feel like she was at a disadvantage and she often felt jealous of her classmates and friends - of both their looks and possessions. not feeling comfortable to discuss these thoughts and feelings with anyone, eliza got used to process them by herself. this is something she still does to this day - she’ll seldom ask for one’s advice or input, and if she does, it’s because she truly values it. slowly and steadily, she began to use her insecurities as both a shield and a weapon - as ways of motivating her to move forward in her life, change what she could and make peace with what she couldn’t.

✈ her parents were extremely proud when she was accepted to not one but three medical schools. she was glad but their pride didn't feel like much. she didn't do it for them or with their help, it was all by her for her (besides, her father's inability to get an education and honor his parents efforts to pursue a better life is something that has never sit well with eliza, so his opinion concerning her education isn't one she ever valued a lot). money was a real concern but eliza took care of that all by herself as well: her good grades granted her a partial scholarship and throughout her years as as student she kept a job or two (even in summers). it wasn't easy, but nothing ever came easy to eliza, she never relied on easy - she was focused and determined and she knew exactly what she had to do to get where she wanted to.

✈ while eliza has always felt like she's the only person in control of her life, she's also always been well aware that, as a child and teenager, she was never someone who could afford to dwell on options and choose whatever she fancied the most. she either took what came along and made the most of it, or had to stay objective and practical. choosing to study medicine was a combination of all of those. it was practical, she didn't dislike it, it gave her good career prospects, and it was also an homage to her paternal grandparents - her grandfather was a doctor before he immigrated and her grandmother always talked about she wanted to have become a 'brain doctor'. while eliza's grandfather died when she was very young, eliza's grandmother kept all of his notebooks and she took great pleasure in going through them with her granddaughter.

✈ eliza’s main motivation growing up (and, perhaps, even today) was to not turn out like her parents. she doesn’t even consider what they have an actual life because, as far as she’s concerned, they’re exiting and not actually living. it’s frustrating for her, it has always been, especially because their decisions didn’t just affect their own lives but also hers (ie: she could have gone to better schools, lived in a better house, tried different hobbies, etc etc etc). in addition, even though they never accomplished anything significant and are the epitome of conformism, they often feel entitled to have opinions and pass judgment that eliza simply doesn’t tolerate. for instance, they often question her parenting (even before her daughter was born they already questioned whether or not she'd make a good mother, and they still grind her gear about her "handing over" the majority custody to her ex) and they were very vocal about their disapproval of her marriage, and what eliza hates the most and has trouble living with is that almost everything they said happened. (there are times where she finds herself wondering if they were right, not about the obvious things, like that she married too fast, but the little ones, like that deep down she said yes because just like them, scared that nothing better - or nothing at all - will come along.)

✈ she was 27, a surgical resident, and already a mom when she got her right hand's fingers stuck in a car's door. she broke three and ended up with nerve damage that prevents her from making specific gestures with a steady hand. so that, was the end of that. the injury rarely impacts her daily life unless she's like, trying to eat with chopsticks or has to sew something up. she's gotten used to doing a lot of things with her non-dominant hand though.

✈ while defensive and often assertive, eliza isn't someone who likes to argue. it exhausts her beyond words and makes her relive her teenage years and the necessity to always defend and stand up for herself. while she was brought up in a house where it was almost always quiet, she spent a large portion of her early years listening to other people - primarily neighbors - arguing day and night. in addition, at college she shared an apartment with five very loud people who were always squabbling among themselves or with their significant others, which deeply irritated her. when it comes to her home environment and her relationships, she likes them calm and honest. discussions are to be thoughtful and polite, but if you get her going (and especially if you raise your voice to her) it'll turn out poorly - she doesn't back down, it's stronger than her.

[deleted] MOIRA / late 40s / head of the foreign desk LUCY LIU IF SHE’S NOT TAKEN difficulty to fit in a wanted ad: mid

war correspondent

got shot at

not a war correspondent anymore just a regular reporter

pissed af about it

will make you look like a fool on tv in front of millions of people

will be sitting outside your office every day for as long as it takes for you to talk to her/answer her questions

years ago (like, 20 smth) she met a war doctor while abroad and the two had a kid they gave up for adoption

honestly will likely only bring him if i can have a couple pre-establish connections like his the child she gave up for adoption, her ex, a mutual dislike with like a colleague or a politician, etc

NEAL / mid or late 30S / hockey or football player probably manish dayal if he’s not taken

neal was born to an average middle class family and has two younger sisters. his mom’s a canadian maths teacher and his dad was an english cardiac surgeon who passed away when he was around ten.

he has dual citizenship which is…….. nice

one of his sisters is married and they’re relatively close, the other one got involved in a lot of bad things when she was a teen and it seems that no matter how much help the family provides she can’t move past her issues. neal’s sisters haven’t been in touch with each other for a handful of years now. even though his eldest sister’s decision to cut ties with their younger sister bothered him greatly, he too ended up sort of doing the same thing a couple years down the road when she cleaned his apartment of any valuables. she stills calls asking for money occasionally, which is… complicated.

about two years ago his mom started dating a grandpa she met in aerobics class. he finds the whole thing really weird and vaguely disturbing but just rolls with it.

neal finds that it’s important to have aspirations and goals but it’s even more important to roll with whatever the universe throws at you. life’s weird and ends too soon, the world’s a mess; don’t overthink things, just make the most of your time while you’re here.

he’s definitely not afraid of confrontation but he has no interest in nor patient for it - life’s too short for it in his opinion. he’s that guy that really doesn’t want to get into a fight but then his friend starts it and he’s like “god damn it” and he sticks by their side

he’s not loyal to a fault tho.

even though she’s a very carefree, jovial, and relaxed person, he started to feel the weight of having responsibilities at a very young age (essentially since his father got sick), so he does get weirdly/crazy responsible and all grown-up when it comes to family and work matters, and he can be a bit of a dad with his close friends at times.

that said, he cares… but selectively so, which leads to him acting a little bit like a dick sometimes. he just has a “live and let live” attitude, buckets of self-esteem, and has never been one to spend too much time being sad or mulling things over.

he’s not one to chase after people: if you tell him “no”, he’s not going to hear ��win me over”, he’ll literally just be like “k, cheers” and move on.

he’s only been truly in love once and she ended things out of the blue because she couldn’t handle his schedule and exposure & was afraid of commitment. it was gr8!!!!!!!!! totally did not fucking gut him!!!!!!

he’s someone who would really like to settle down for real but at the same time he’s not actively pursuing a serious relationship. most of the girls neal’s gotten involved with… he liked them but he wasn’t in love with them. he doesn’t feign interest, nor does he pretend to feel more than he does, but he likes to have fun and he isn’t going to wait around until ~the one~ comes along to start having fun. he doesn’t play games, he’s very honest about his intentions so if it’s just flirting/sex, you’ll know it. if he feels something more, he’ll tell you. occasionally he’s not being as clear as he thinks he is and that had resulted in some pretty awkward situations.

optional: he got married to an old friend at some point, they had a daughter, and they divorced a year after they got married. the press made a huge deal out of it. it wasn’t. they parted ways amicably and are still very good friends. the reason why they divorced is simply: his wife could tell that while he loved her he didn’t love her as much as he was still hung up on someone else, and she refused to be in a marriage like that.

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