#the thing is i still don't know the best times/tags for posting hq here on tumblr

[kimbapisnotsushi]

you seem to have a good read on HQ and your takes are great, so i have a question...and if you'd rather not go there, please ignore this! but i see oikawa get called "arrogant" quite often and i'm curious, would you say he is? what is it that makes people think that? imo he has a plenty of flaws, but i truly don't think arrogance is one of them. self-centered, sure, but not arrogant i think. i'm open to being wrong, i'm just legit so confused by that particular criticism, it makes me doubting my reading comprehension. i feel like that one post that's like "free my man, he didn't do that. he did a lot of other stuff tho" LOL. if you do answer this, then thanks for your time!

oh, dear anon. this is a very very big question and i'm honored you think i am capable of providing an answer that does it justice!! i don't consider myself an oikawa expert by far, but i'll do my best because he's still very beloved to me, and i hope whatever i say helps!

(but also - maybe take what i say with a grain of salt LMAO)

anyways, to get the main point out of the way: i completely agree that oikawa isn't arrogant! i actually haven't seen any commentary about that myself (bless!!!), so i can't say for sure why some people might think that, but my guess is that they think his pridefulness = arrogance — they think that the confidence he has in himself and seijoh contributes nothing to their actual power and is utterly meaningless if they don't win, especially in the face of ushijima. which, like, come on. what kind of captain would he be if he wasn't confident in himself and his teammates? is he supposed to tell them that they're going to lose??? is he supposed to discourage their hard work and effort???

or maybe it's because oikawa acts like he's all that, but doesn't have anything to show for it. who does he think he is? what does he think his pride is worth? what right does he have to go around making grand declarations when he has nothing to his name?

(which isn't entirely true, either, but we'll get into that, promise.)

now, do i think that he can, occasionally, be flippant, shallow, and/or petty? yeah, sure. he's got one hell of a personality about it. even iwaizumi says as much. oikawa is great at being a little shit. it's one of my favorite things about him!

but is oikawa genuinely arrogant, or self-centered? well . . . i don't think so.

see, here's the thing about oikawa: he knows he's good, but he doesn't think he's good enough. i think it'd be easiest to really explain what that meant if we broke this down into two separate parts, so let's give it a go, shall we?

(buckle up, friends, because it's about to get LONG. also: TIMESKIP SPOILERS!! and there's a tldr at the start of the tags because. WOW.)

so, first things first: if people are calling oikawa arrogant, then i'm like 99% sure that they don't actually know what the word "arrogant" means.

"arrogant" is used to describe someone full of themselves. it's used to describe someone conceited and pompous. it's used to describe someone so assured of and invested in their self-importance that they don't care for other people, and if it seems like they do, then it's usually wildly off the mark and still serves to inflate their own egos.

oikawa has never once been like that. he's been pretty much the exact opposite, in fact.

and yeah, sure, by his third year of high school, he knows he's good at volleyball, and that's fine! it's perfectly all right to claim you're good at something if you have the skills/experience to back it up. confidence is healthy as long as it isn't in overabundance, and we actually see a lot of this throughout the series!

(not to mention that this was where ushijima fell short. he was overflowing with confidence. he did not believe, for even a single second, that hinata shouyou and his meager, scrappy little flock of crows could beat him.

but oikawa? he knew. he knew what it looked like to make something bloom.)

the key to oikawa's confidence that made him better was that he could pinpoint others' strengths and weaknesses just as well as he could with his own. and (bear with me, please, i might get kind of boring here bc it's nothing that hasn't been said in the manga before) i don't mean it in the way we see the coaches or more analytical players do, as observations to be taken advantage of by everyone else; i mean that in the sense of how vital it is to his position as a setter. that was always the biggest difference between oikawa and kageyama: no matter how much more raw talent kageyama had, no matter how much better oikawa believed him to be, kageyama, especially in the beginning, struggled to do what oikawa could with a team. kageyama struggled to bring out the best in each player. and it wasn't because he didn't know how -- oikawa freely admitted that kageyama had the skill for it, that kageyama, once he got his shit together, could win against him -- it was because kageyama didn't have that same confidence in himself.

(not until much later, anyways. but that's another story, for another time.)

so, oikawa's confident. he knows he's good. he can bring out the best in each player. he's got a killer serve (and a killer smile!), a mind for tactics that borders on machievallianism, and cherishes the trust he is given like it's something precious. his coaches let him lead without leaning on them. his team has the utmost respect and admiration for him. he has a reputation. from karasuno to shiratorizawa to the whole of miyagi -- there is not a single character who knows oikawa tooru and would believe that he is, in any way, bad at volleyball.

but it's not enough. despite all of that, oikawa still doesn't think he's good enough. and that, friends, brings us to the second point.

oikawa tooru is nothing if not passionate.

so were the others, of course. kageyama kept going after his grandfather's death. hinata kept going while being a nobody from nowhere with no one to back him up. atsumu kept going while osamu didn't. it's not even about just those who went pro -- kenma, kuroo, noya, and everyone else found things that they were passionate about and kept going with it. the entire story revolves around loving what you do and trying to keep that love alive, and, sometimes, that can be really, really difficult when it seems like it doesn't love you back.

oikawa was so insecure over kageyama to the point where he nearly decked the poor kid. oikawa got crushed by ushijima-- who kept telling him that his team was not good enough, that his choices were not good enough, that there was nothing good enough to be proud of -- for years in a row. oikawa was taught that there would always be someone better than him no matter how skilled he was, but if he let that stop him then he didn't fucking belong on the court in the first place.

oikawa tooru is intimately acquainted with not being good enough, but he keeps trying to be. he keeps going. he tries to keep the love alive even if he's not loved back. he pushes and practices and takes a plane far from home to become even better. even if he doesn't have the skill, even if he doesn't have the talent, even if he doesn't have the love -- he still has his pride. and what does that mean, in the end? how far does that take him?

in the end, oikawa tooru walks across a world stage and sees people who believed in him on the other side and calls it a family reunion. in the end, he gets to play the volleyball that reminds him of why he loves it and how it gives him so much love back. in the end, his pride is unyielding and unbreakable, a product of the forge. he molded it with his own two hands. he will not let it falter so easily.

arrogance would not have taken oikawa tooru this far. i hope this has proven that he is anything but.

remember: instinct is something you polish. talent is something you make bloom. and never, ever let anyone else tell you what your pride is worth.

[notsuchasecret]

20 Q's for Fic Writers

I don't think @oloreandil meant to tag me but I'm doing it anyway!

1 - How many works do you have on ao3?

215. I had a huge head start when I did one ficlet a day in 2015, but not all 365 of those made it onto Ao3 (and a few of them were chapters added to other fics.

2 - What's your total ao3 word count?

1,022,445. I'm so sad I didn't even notice when I went over a million on there! But upon checking it looks like it was during my posting for the HQ Monsterlovers Big Bang, so that's not surprising.

3 - What fandoms do you write for?

I mainly write for Haikyuu!!, but I started with Free!. I've also written for the MCU once or twice and VLD once, but I think there's only one of those ones on Ao3.

4 - What are your top five fics by kudos?

Fool's Gold, Curiosity Killed the Cat (and Satisfaction Brought it Back) , both of which surprised me, Growing Old in Mediocrity, which I seriously thought would be number one, Those Who Wander, and Brave.

5 - Do you respond to comments?

Honestly, no. I feel bad about it and I hate it, but I don't do it. I get so anxious that I'm going to somehow offend someone, or about what I'm going to say, and just. Ugh.

6 - What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Four Christmases That Totally Sucked (And One That Kind of Didn't) is the only fic I have left up that's just straight angst. I have a lot of hurt/comfort, but pretty much everything I write has a happy ending in one form or another. There is one other fic that exists only if you know where to find it here on tumblr that I deleted all the links to because I got literal death threats over the sad ending and I'm not playing that game with y'all.

7 - What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This one depends on your definition of happy ending. Like I said pretty much all of my fics have a happy ending because of who I am as a person, but some of them require more work to get to than others. the best revenge (you are a life well lived) is by far the one that fits this question the best. Not only did the characters have to work hard for that happy ending, but I did too. To this day when I'm feeling trapped in a PTSD spiral, I can often point at that fic to remind myself that there is a way out, and that there is a life beyond the lowest point. Those few of you who know just how much I was going through leading up to posting this fic, including the night of posting it, y'all know exactly how much that means to me.

8 - Do you get hate on fics?

I have, but not in a long time. The thing is, I'm kind of an oblivious moron, sitting happily in my little corner of the sandbox and making the blorbos kiss. I do know there had been hate about me that I never even noticed, but the only hate I actually saw was back in 2015, so I'm glad about that.

9 - Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have been told I write the fluffiest smut on the face of the planet, which is hilarious considering that most of what I write is also pretty kinky. I've been in the sex industry in one form or another for a few years now, mostly on the retail side, and I know some crazy shit, and it's kind of a special interest now. So erotica and smut are my bread and butter, but even when there are chains and whips and chastity devices, there's also a lot of love and aftercare and fluffy, schmoopy, cuddly grossness.

10 - Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Crossovers just kind of... pop out of me. None of them are crazy imo... most of them are Haikyuu!! and Free!, though I'm pretty sure there have been some knb kids as well.

11 - Have you ever had a fic stolen?

It was the funniest thing, my longest fic, the one I'm most proud of, was snatched and put up on Amazon for sale. It was a huge thing, so I wasn't the only author scraped, but let me tell you seeing my gay anime magic au fanfiction sold as an actual book with no changes to even the title or the description or character names still gives me a bit of a giggle.

12 - What's the longest you've spent working on one fic? And the shortest?

the best revenge objectively shouldn't have taken me over two years to write, but when you factor in all the life shit that happened to produce that fic, yes it should have. Prior to that, I spent 10 months or so writing The Anatomy of an Eternity and I'm so proud of how it turned out and have spent the last, oh god, six years chasing that high.

13 - Have you ever co-written a fic before?

One time a co-written fic just fell out of @ezzydean and I like an egg we didn't realize we were laying. Just. Plop! Ezzy re-formatted our chat log into jagged pieces and Feathers on the windowsill and to this day I don't know how it happened.

14 - What's your all-time favorite ship? From all fandoms?

I feel like it's unfair to say SakuAtsu considering I have posted exactly one (1) fic of them, but y'all have no idea how badly these to assholes have taken over my life. I had to give them their own section in my 4thewords writing organization. I hate them so much someone stop them.

15 - What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

There's a running joke that's not actually a joke about "the fanfic I will never publish". It's currently over 100k long and I doubt it'll ever see the light of day. I would also like to finish How Many Crows Does it Take to Screw In a Lightbulb but I don't know if I can finish it as is or if I need to tear it down and start all over since the timeskip.

16 - What are your writing strengths?

I've been told my characterization is gold, and I'm not discounting that. I think that I'm also just really good at Putting Dudes Into Situations. Since I am, as mentioned, sitting in a sandbox and making the blorbos kiss, that's really what writing fic is to me. I just wanna see what happens to these characters if I stick them in different combinations. I wanna see if they maintain the same basic form when they're not playing volleyball, but are instead navigating the faerie court, or in a magic college, or sailing on pirate ships. How much does environment change who we are and how much is it intrinsic to ourselves?

17 - What are your writing weaknesses?

Shiny Object Syndrome. I see a fun new AU and I have to physically restrain myself from chasing it down a rabbit hole and ignoring the sixteen other projects I have going on.

18 - Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Since I'm an Anglophone I don't know how much of a leg I have to stand on in this question. That said, I do believe there are certain things that can't be expressed outside of their native language. That said, I don't think it's my place as a white USAmerican to try and tell stories about what it's like to be xyz other race/culture/experience that I simply don't have access to. I do use Japanese terms in-prose for certain things. Genkan and Engawa are the most prominent things I can think of, since most English-speaking cultures don't really have equivalents in our own homes. Lines of dialog in other cultures are an interesting thing that I tend to avoid specifically because I don't know how to do it well in most of the languages that would make sense for what I'm writing (I speak enough Spanish to pass for a precocious pre-schooler, and I have a decent amount of Latin and Irish under my belt, but none of those really have a chance to come up in what I write, unfortunately).

19 - First fandom you wrote for?

Free!. The very first ficlet posted on this tumblr account was written January 1, 2015, and it was the very first piece of fanfic I ever wrote. Because I'm insane like that.

20 - Favourite fic you've written?

I love most of my children equally. That said, the best revenge (you are a life well lived), The Anatomy of an Eternity, and Rowan Berries, Iron, and Other School Supplies all have a very special place in my heart.

I'm not gonna tag anyone directly but if anyone does it from seeing this, please tag me so I can read!

[reviiely]

INTRO POST!!!

Hi! Don't mind the entire revamp of the blog. Y'all can call me Viie. I'm a writer and an artist, and I'm currently writing for Haikyuu and Yuri on Ice! I used to write for Marvel and Agents of SHIELD too but I’m retired now. Feel free to hmu about that too though!

---

★ my tag system is a bit messy and I'm still transitioning back to using this blog but over all three blogs, #my art will be for my art stuff and #my fics will be for my writing stuff!

★ I'll be most active on @cuttycrumbing (which is the reason we share a pfp), so my writing updates will originate from there and most of my art will be there too

★ this blog is gonna be mostly for tag games probably? and big updates like me dying or me going on a writing hiatus

★ feel free to DM me! I'm usually always up for a chat ›››› I'm usually active 8am to 1am PST though so there's a good seven hours when I'm dead to the world lol

---

Masterlist below the cut!

HAIKYUU

The HQ oneshot collection

★: Setter Squad Shenanigans

The One Where They Wear Cheerleader Uniforms

★: A Very Merry... Something

A Very Merry Christmas A Very Merry New Year

★: multichapters and longfics

library lunch dates (and the sort) a chemical change in the brain pretty "You can take a breath." Ushijima Wakatoshi is Not Invincible The Funny Thing About Hope The Dreams of One Tendou Satori demi et demi

YURI ON ICE

The YOI oneshot collection

★: multichapters and longfics

We're gonna make it all come true

MARVEL [Agents of SHIELD]

The AOS oneshot collection

★: sunglasses, leather jackets, and laptops

sunglasses and leather jackets A Lesson In Bacon "Tell me where it hurts." Mother's Day The Next Big Thing City of Angels The World We Knew (Over and Over) voice (one day) What A Wonderful World

★: Mayday 2024

Before I Was A Monster your little hand's wrapped around my finger (and it's so quiet in the world tonight) 4 times Skye/Daisy almost called May 'Mom' (+ 1 time she did) Just Us To Know Mayday

★: The Philindaisy Playlist

Here Comes The Sun Yesterday You're On Your Own, Kid Somewhere Only We Know More Than Words I Will

★: heartstrings

How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You The Best Is Yet To Come

★: multichapters and longfics

What Happened In Vegas Homework Buddies Timeless somewhere in the multiverse

---

If you're all the way down here, thanks for reading this whole thing, I guess?

[dreamingpartone]

myself and my lovely friend Hanz had our own mini hq!! exchange over christmas — with the accidental theme of “sometimes you just gotta sit in a cafe and share your worries with someone who Gets It, y’know?” — so I drew an old idea of ours with Asahi and Yachi being pals and doing just that c:

(meanwhile, she wrote the sweetest Bokuto and Asahi fic ever ft. Ace chats and barista!Asahi and it is my favourite thing)

[batboyblog]

Things I like about Tumblr, 2022

first off, Tumblr isn't perfect, it's full of people, and people in general and on-line can be pretty crap, but in a rare move for me I'm looking at the good.

you are not expected to post under your own name/face. In fact people would think you were pretty freaking weird if you did. To the Best of my knowledge only one person posts under their own name with their face as a profile pic, Hi Neil Gaiman! If we keep this up Tumblr will not become a semi-work space like twitter

No one knows your follower count (and honestly you shouldn't know it either) The level of brain rot I see on twitter around having a big follower count is so embarrassing, "help me get to X million!" is so very cringe, much like blue checks its a meaningless thing and we're all better off not knowing who's "popular" there are popular posts not people.

I have a very popular post about the long term nature of Tumblr so I won't go too much into it other than to say that it's nice that we can have long term jokes and memes on here, because we're able to reblog things from the past without any shame and judgement and so a culture and in jokes and yearly (or weekly) events happen here in a way I don't see on more "now! now! now!" social media.

You can do whatever, linking to #1 because we're not a semi-professional webpage where people are selling their "brand" etc there's little to no pressure (outside of yourself) to stay on topic or theme, you can and should reblog that gif set of a funny show from 10 years ago, that moody art shot of a field before a storm, and that short video of puppies falling over, wild out.

You decide if people see your likes. How many times did people get busted for having porn in their Twitter likes, where here no one can judge you, again we're not a work space so if you like that picture of a man in jock strap, go for it reblog that shit, but if you're shy don't worry you can enjoy what you enjoy without having to share with the class.

We hate crypto, we hate NFT, we always have we always will and thats very sexy of us

you can (still) say what you like. The need to make platforms safe for advisors and influencers has lead to "unalive" and other ways to try to get around using bad words. On Tumblr I can say that Elon Musk sucks a whole bucket of monkey shit and I hope he's pushed down the stairs at Twitter HQ.

Tags my beloved, tags are funny, lovely cool little notes, a way to add a joke, say something heart felt etc without worrying "is this needed?" and guess what if the answer was "yes it was" someone will screen shot them and add them to the post for you, win win.

Long form thought, I know this is a semi-jokey list but like no joking I think having all our politicians, journalists and "thought leaders" spending all day on and mainly communicating through a webpage with a very small character limit was/is very bad for our society. Tumblr (as you can see) you can write an essay (I don't think those people should come here, but I never run out of characters)

there's nowhere better for formatting gifs or picture sets, I honestly can't imagine trying to post a series of gifs or pictures on Insta or Twitter and having them all folded up rather than laid out in order all visible at once (and not cropped down, well most of the time)

There's no algorithm, everyone says it but it needs to be on the list, there's no real hand holding pushing you to this or that, there's nothing boosting or hiding your post, you pick what you like and follow it, and then those blogs do something weird and different and thats chill and you keep on.

we're the gay trans sex website, pretty much no where else on-line can you find this much dumb, non sequitur queer humor or as supportive of the trans experience, yes there are TERFs but they are more fringe here than basically any where else.

we just don't matter, back to #1 we are not a place where you can market yourself or your brand or whatever, as such things are just not that serious, this is a social media website made for fun, to enjoy TV, books, and movies mainly but really whatever you do enjoy.

negative I'd like to address before I go, the on-going porn ban, I'm not in favor of porn itself on here, I don't think we need gif sets of studio porn or whatever. But once Tumblr was a safe space for a lot of queer performers to spread their self made work. It also was a safe space for Queer art, both photographic and drawn, to express sensuality and sexuality. And a safe space for Queer artists to draw art of characters totally fucking the shit out of each other. It was a place where enjoyment of the human form and sexuality could be mixed with all the other parts of life as normal. There were for sure problems, however in an ever more censored and sex negative world I think a freed Tumblr is more needed than ever, so I hope we figure that out soon.

[eileen-crys]

Ho postato 2.298 volte nel 2022

435 post creati (19%)

1.863 post rebloggati (81%)

Blog che ho rebloggato di più:

@eileen-crys (not me reblogging my own things fo visibility lol)

@a-froger-epic

@bambirex

@julescape

@natromanxoff

Ho taggato 1.344 dei miei post nel 2022

Solo 42% dei miei post non aveva tag

#john deacon - 206 post

#queen - 192 post

#johnica - 171 post

#rachelb's art - 166 post

#queen band - 149 post

#queen fanart - 140 post

#john deacon queen - 106 post

#john deacon fanart - 93 post

#john deacon x veronica tetzlaff - 76 post

#veronica tetzlaff - 74 post

Longest Tag: 135 characters (@kinole009x me swooning again over nevermore is mu longest tag aaaaaa)

#and kinole if you read this please know that i haven't forgotten about it and i stil love this story more than any of my own 🙏🏻💕💕💕

I miei post migliori nel 2022:

#5

"... unless you're afraid."

The first post credits scene left me shaking and in tears of happiness because I sincerely didn’t expect to even see her, let alone in this gorgeous suit. They managed to keep her iconic shoulders and the circles on her leggings, I’m OBSESSED!!! And bless Charlize for sharing those HQ photo of her corset and that backstage video, it seriously helped me. 🙏🏻 Please consider this is a Work In Progress, I’m aiming to turn this into a bigger illustration about Clea and I’ll definitely fix this as soon as we’ll get better photos of her whole costume.

Please do not repost! Reblogs and comments are welcomed 🥰💜

221 note - Postate 17 maggio 2022

#4

🎶 Lover of Life, Singer of Songs 👑

Freddie sits on the piano, closes his lips and his eyes. The song is over, he thinks, but the music goes on. It can't be stopped and he knows it. And so, he smiles.

It's been 31 years since you left, but we all know you're still here with all of us. Thank you, Freddie!

Please do not copy or repost this! Reblogs and comments are welcomed 💜 I used a photo from Montreal 81 as a reference, his peaceful expression at the piano melted me.

246 note - Postate 24 novembre 2022

#3

Guarda il post completo

261 note - Postate 14 febbraio 2022

#2

👑 Happy Birthday Freddie Mercury! ✨️💕🌈

Last (but not least!) piece of my Queen illustration, here's Freddie above all, with his phoenix wings and his crown! 💕💕💕 (TAP on the image to see it better!)

I had lots of fun drawing him at the top of his power, inspired yes by that time in Montreal when he jumped on stage wearing only a pair of white shorts, but with a sprinkle of the majestic Magic Tour as well 🥰 Happy 76th birthday Freddie, we still love you with our whole hearts!

And stay tuned for the full piece, are you excited? 👀🤭

Please do not trace or repost! Reblogs and comments are welcomed 💕

308 note - Postate 5 settembre 2022

Il mio post numero 1 del 2022

🌈 Happy Pride Month!!! 🌈

I couldn't not draw the husbandsTM for this year's Pride Month! 🥰 I've been inspired by the crazy hat party, with a bit of a Pride twist, I hope you'll like it! 💖 Wishing the best to all my fellow LGBTQ+ followers, friends and Queen fans (and more!), be proud of who you are and don't let others silence your voice 💕💕💕 You're valid, always.

Please do not repost anywhere else. Reblogs and comments are welcomed! 💖🌈

316 note - Postate 1 giugno 2022

Guarda ora l'Analisi del tuo anno 2022 di Tumblr →

[gayerthanthee]

'get to know me' tag game

Rules: answer the questions and tag people you'd like to get to know better.

Tagged by: my recent friend @heyheysey who shocked me in the notifs when i saw her actually tag me-- i really need to get used to having mutuals :O

Tagging: @raineyclouds @screaming-garbagemouth @mizuraisu @yourlocalmusicalprostitute and this is a desperate one but also @bohemian-napsodyy pls come back bby, i hope you're safe. i miss you so bad <33

also, there are some parts where i mention and talked about gender dysphoria & crisis, and death of a loved one. if it's triggering pls go on and don't read.

What do you prefer to be called name-wise?

Cas or Xan (like sah-n)

When is your birthday?

january 9

Where do you live?

the Philippines

Three things you are doing right now:

watching videos about genderfluid people

contemplating about the places I'll be in the future

downing 3 cups of water before bed (hydrating is sexc. do it pls.)

Four fandoms that have piqued your interest?

marvel - my childhood sweetheart, but i've only become really immersed during 2016! not as active anymore about it though.

queen - i always heard my parents play songs before year '90 when i was young, and what really stuck with me was listening to this band and their many songs and concerts. i joined the hype when the movie about them dropped at 2018. not much active anymore on that too.

bnha - i always saw this around but?? i only got in sometime last year or mid 2018 and religiously went binge-reading the manga during the highs of pandemic because distracting yourself from self-deteriorating thoughts is sexy. take it from me.

haikyuu - this was a random one. i knew this longer than bnha because it's popular but it wasn't as interesting to me before. but then i saw that many of the blogs i follow like hq too and then they make content and then the rest is history. i started maybe last month, haven't read the manga yet but i weirdly know things already.

How has the pandemic been treating you?

everything is constantly crazy thank you for asking. wouldn't have it any other way though.

A song you can't stop listening to right now?

Forget You by CeeLo Green

How old are you?

(UPDATE: yeah i now feel uncomfy sharing this info but yeet it's gone now srry)

School, university, occupation, other?

hope i was extra enough to excel the first semester in senior high. self-learning is difficult when you have all the time in the house to ✨succumb to vulnerable thoughts✨

Do you prefer heat or cold?

i prefer the heat. although a cold environment is really convenient especially in our country, i prefer the warmth because of the comfort it brings, along with keeping me grounded.

Name one fact others may not know about you:

I haven't exactly coped over my uncle's passing and I don't know if i did anything about it. i remember the times he was healthy and feel regret each time because i was such an ass of a kid to him back then that i think i made his life harder than what he actually deserved. he messaged me a along time ago and because i was constantly mad at him, i just left it on read, no more after that. everytime i see the conversation, it makes ny chest gape even more. i was so much angry back then that i didn't treat him as i should because yeah there were times were i was nice or neutral and helped him a lot and made him laugh a bit but still. wow im shaking just typing this. i now message him every once in a while even though he's gone. like a delusional way to connect with him even though it's too late.

Are you shy?

not much, no. I may worry about what someone significant to me may think about me though. but otherwise i'm chill and tired 25/8

Pronouns

she/he/they. my sex is female and it feels so right being genderfluid but i feel like i'm just too influenced by my country's homophobic tradition and society norm for me to accept myself? it's really tight here, I haven't even come out yet. being an Asian is hard.

biggest pet-peeves?

people commenting on my 'femininity'. pls drop it, i'm not comfortable being told i look better in a dress and i should act more womanly-like. i will manspread while also maintain good hygiene thank you very much. it's not because i may identify as male, but because gender roles is a big joke, okay? like sure this is my sex but i can also be a good boy or look sleek in a suit. it's confusing but it's not that hard. dresses are nice but they're not for me to wear just because i'm 'a girl'. is it obvious I have gender dysphoria??

What is your favorite "dere" type?

don't actually have one. they're all equally cool, i just don't have a preference. tsundere's are more above for me though.

Rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be.

it fluctuates from 4 to 7 like my gender. life is a wheel. you're on the low and it all goes up from here, but then you'll also be grounded and the cycle goes again.

What's your main blog?

this, @gayerthanthee , I have sideblogs but they aren't really relevant? i don't even remember why i made them?

List your side blogs and what they are used for:

homemade-genius - oh i did this because i tried to be funny and make some jokes. apparently i do not even have the ENERGY and MEMORY to post in it, so what made me think I even have humor too??

cas-xx - ick did this when i used to simp for some guy back in junior year. i still cringe to this day—not because i made a sideblog, but because i actually?? had the guts to simp for a straight cis-male who was also materialistic and firmly believed and follows gender-roles? it always makes me bleaurgh.

Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

please consider that while i'm not picky with my gender, i still do not like being considered a female only, and because of society norms. we the gays are OUTSIDE the society norms. i would always rather being called handsome over beautiful. also pls consider i have gender dysphoria and crisis. it's crazy.

p.s. it's long overdue and i'm real sorry. i had to shut off from the world to finish my tasks and projects. and now i'm finally done!! thank you sey 🥺 this is my first time being tagged in a get to know me!!

[silver-wield]

Okay, as requested a few days ago, a Cloud and Aerith analysis. I feel like I've spent a lot of time in chapter 8/9 today lol 

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven’t played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it’s gonna be reasonably long.

Also, this is one person’s interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that’s cool and we’ll agree to disagree.

You’re also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I’m grabbing them from Youtube and it’s frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone’s interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 

Tifa character analysis 

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory – I should probably update this since I’ve had other ideas since then) 

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis 

Cloti reunion analysis 

The Promise Analysis 

Andrea’s approval (Cloti ask response) 

Leslie analysis (not mine, but a good read) 

Cloti action touching 

Aerti friendship analysis 

Cloti body language chapter 3 

Cloti healthy disagreement 

Cloti post heliboss battle (chapter 15) 

Clerith playground scene 

Cloti body language plate fall 

Cloud and Barret friendship 

Resolution scene analysis (A) 

Barret character analysis (chapter 13) 

Cloud character analysis (Honey Bee Inn) 

Cloud character analysis (Barret's death) 

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Recap time!

Okay, our delightful heroine (I will rein in the sarcasm, but Aerith aggs me when Cloud says no and she ignores him. No means no.) and our moody af hero have finally got done with the flowery side quests, kiddos, Rude and the giant hands of crash crash boom oops there's an invisible wall there minigame trip through sector 6 to reach sector 7.

Aerith says “let's take a break.”

Cloud says, “No.”

They take a break anyway.

(I've already done the slide analysis, link above)

Back down from the slide and it's time to go. Aerith opens up the underground link into sector 7 and we're venturing into awkward goodbyes.

So, we're starting with Aerith being chipper and cute with the quips. Standard stuff. It's possible she's feeling regretful they're parting, but I've said plenty of times that of everyone in this, Aerith has the best poker face. There's very few times she lets that mask slip and lets us see what she's really feeling and it's usually in times of intense stress. This isn't stressful, although she was feeling down a few moments ago while talking about Zack, so maybe that'll make her a little easier to read. For now, though, she's fronting like a boss.

Hmm interesting. He's definitely thoughtful here. So, I'm gonna have to put together some possibilities.

He's clearly mellowed his attitude towards her – he was proper stroppy at her house the day before, shouting and so on – so this isn't negative. We could say he started feeling more positive towards her through their interactions over the day or maybe when he saw the whole Rude bit and realised she's not quite what he first thought. Or it might have been when he saw her looking downcast about not high fiving or it could've been their chat on the slide that finally thawed him out towards her.

And Aerith's the same. Her smile falters just a bit and she can't meet his eye. Maybe she knows they have no reason to meet again or that her mother told him not to see her. We don't know for sure, but it's possible, otherwise why is she disappointed? She could expect to see him again. They could make plans. It could be meta!Aerith knowing that Cloud is probably better off not getting to know her.

Eugh dammit. Does anyone know how hard it is to analyse people's motives when you can't see their faces clearly? I bet this was on purpose, thanks Square.

I mean, having to go by the above data I've mentioned, they could both be feeling the same lingering regret intuitively. You know like how you just get the sense how someone's feeling? That.

Their poses are identical, and coupled with the slightly awkward intonation on “so” I'd look at this and say this comes across like a couple of teenagers who kinda like each other and don't know how to take the next step. You know, that kind of immature I have no idea what I'm doing with my life kinda deal. That's not to say it's romantic, especially not from Cloud. He's an awkward introvert. Aerith has no social skills. They're not friends and up until five minutes ago Cloud was annoyed af at her. That'd make for an awkward goodbye.

Aerith laughs, Cloud doesn't, and she moves aside so he can leave. Looks like the moment’s over.

Before going, Cloud turns back to ask if Aerith can get home ok. This looks like polite concern, which I'd expect considering they just came through an area full of monsters, mech and bandits. If Cloud wasn't concerned, I'd call him a douchebag. His eyes widen a little as he speaks, but it's not that same kind of expression he pulls whenever we're suspecting a visit from real!Cloud. This is SOLDIER!Cloud asking. 

(I've said that typically Cloud's eyes go very wide as a hint that his real self is reacting to things, but widening eyes on their own do not indicate real!Cloud. It's something about the way he does it that shows it's not quite right for the SOLDIER persona we usually see. I can't explain it properly, but it's likely something the devs have done to his microexpressions on purpose to differentiate between the two and without knowing exactly what I can't put a pin in it. All I can say is when it looks like real!Cloud is expressing himself and when it isn't because there’s a difference that I’ve picked up on.)

This is flirting. Plain and simple. Head tilted, little smile, crinkling eyes. She's amused and teasing him in a flirtatious manner and her dialogue backs that up, although at the same time the tone she puts it in also sounds quite matter of fact, like she's genuinely asking what if she wasn't ok? That likely does appeal to the protective SOLDIER side of Cloud. He wants to be known as the hero. Still not romantic.

That's what I like to call a shit-fuck-bollocks moment. The realisation he should take her back home and make sure she's safe, but then he's also got to get back to sector 7, and this is all SOLDIER!Cloud's debate. There's no sign of real!Cloud and there's a quick decisive result that he should do the right thing, which is why he says he’ll take her home.

This is nothing like in the honey bee inn later when you see the clear back and forth of his eyes darting around as he argues with real!Cloud about dancing to get Andrea's approval.

And Aerith laughs again because I think she's aware how ridiculous it is that he'll walk her back when he needs to get home. She was teasing the entire time, but it looks like it went over Cloud's head – colour me unsurprised.

I mean, there's no romantic undertone to her expression here. It's genuine amusement and I'd definitely say friendship towards Cloud.

Ah the image that certain people hang their hat on. Let's get this one done.

Aerith says she has a backup route for emergencies that's safer than the one they used. You can hear Cloud start to speak—- ask a question because the sound is a “W” -- then cuts himself off and smiles. That smile is a mix of bemused and amused. 

For anyone who doesn't have a stupidly large vocabulary and thinks those two are the same thing:

Bemused

adjective: puzzled, confused, or bewildered.

Amused

adjective: finding something funny or entertaining.

Cloud's bemused because back at the start of the collapsed expressway he literally asked if there was a better way and she avoided answering. So, he's caught her in a lie and what can he do about it? Nothing. That's why he's all "of course there's a safer route".

And then we're back in control and moving onto the next part of the game.

Conclusion:

Well, they're awkward. Both of them. Cloud is an introvert with mental issues and Aerith has no social skills and a terrible personality flaw in which she bosses everyone around and doesn't listen.

I wouldn't say they're friends, more like comrades. Cloud's still very resistant to her company even after she helps him save Tifa.