#the thing abt the Sonic characters is that feeling negative things is often like . . . they try to fix it for each other?

[sage-nebula]

To be honest I kind of just want to write a fic set after Frontiers where Tails ends up in Possum Springs and befriends that crew. Not for any plot reasons, there's no plot really, but just so he can hang around with a bunch of people who have problems and negative feelings and think it's A-OK to feel and express those negative feelings. They treat him like the kid he is because they're in their twenties, and he explodes with everything he's been through in a way to prove that he's not just a kid, and Mae responds with the NitW-certified understated, "Jeez." They take him to smash lightbulbs behind the Snack Falcon. They let him sit in at band practice. He helps Bea out at the Ol' Pickaxe so she can finally fire the creep that assaulted her. (She at first tells him that's probably a violation of child labor laws. He goes, "what are those." She says "fuck it" and hires him.) He and Lori get to gleefully shout, "everything sucks forever!!" while laying on the train tracks because sometimes you've just got to embrace the fact that, yeah, things suck! And maybe they always will! And maybe that's okay! Maybe it's okay to not be okay!!

There's no plot. This follows the events of NitW too, so there's no danger from the cult. Tails is aged up a little maybe, perhaps 12 so that he and Lori can be closer in age (since she's 14), because I want them to be besties and later pen pals. (She gets him a friendship necklace that's two halves of a star. Together they spell "BFF." She gives him the B, because he has a big brain, and keeps the second F because she wants people to think it means "fuck."

Tails: "So . . . Brains Forever Fuck?" Lori: "Exactly" :3)

I just think it would be fun and maybe what he needs. Everything's dying in Possum Springs and everything sucks, Mae is severely mentally ill, Bea is cut off from her dreams, Gregg and Angus have no way of knowing if they'll ever manage to get out, Lori was probably going to be the next target of the cult. But hey, they're still alive. They can still smash lightbulbs and build crazy robots and tightrope walk on the power lines and have knife fights (ok that's just Mae and Gregg) and play grunge rock as loud as they can during band practice. Angus can tell Tails about a universe that doesn't care, and people who do. Gregg can commiserate on what it feels like to feel worthless, and Bea likewise on how it feels to be overwhelmed but knowing you have no choice but to keep going anyway. And Mae can save him the trouble of paying for a shit therapist by telling him, look, the only therapist around will tell you to just journal your thoughts and feelings. So do that. Maybe it helps. She doesn't know. But she does it, so hey, might be worth a shot.

I don't know, I just like thinking about it. Don't know if I'll ever write it, but the idea of Tails and Lori M being pen pals regardless is one I like a lot (as well as Tails taking a burned CD of the band's EP with him when he leaves, and actually picking up on that journaling thing big sis Maeday told him about . . .)

[dxrkblaze]

okay so. i feel like i should provide a better explanation for my recent behavior other than “hshdskfs i think my art sucks”

bc that’s not true. i don’t think my art sucks as long as others don’t?? i actually think it’s p good now, right? i’m a lot better than i was this time last year. i just feel like, if i actually SAY i’m good, that ppl will get the wrong idea, and suddenly i’m the cringey new artist who thinks he’s good when he’s not. that’s part of it.

the other part is... okay, back when i was 12-15, and i was just getting into sonic, i kinda tried to deny it?? idk why, it just seemed like a “cringey” thing back then and i didn’t want my friends to know that i was obsessed with sonic. this is partly because i had watched so many cringe compilations/callouts of ppl in the sonic fandom (all from a very specific person on youtube who i won’t name). and more often than not, the art by the people being “called out” was showcased, and it was usually either their fan-characters or favs drawn with a skill level that’s... below average? i hate to say that bc i don’t wanna seem like i’m calling their art bad (god knows i know what that does to you) but it was unpolished to a neutral eye. 

so i kinda... started associating art that “isn’t good” with cringe? if that makes sense? that mentality eventually stopped when i started writing fanfic (almost six years ago now), because i realized how hard it is to create content. so don’t get the idea that i still think those things, bc i don’t, it’s not even a passing thought when i see others making fanart/writing. 

but when i evaluate my own work? that’s a different story. if my work “isn’t good”, i feel like i’m contributing to this stigma that the sonic fandom is cringey, or that liking sonic is cringey, that the general public still seems to have all these years later. so i’ve developed this mentality that, if my work isn’t good, i’m bringing the whole fandom down. because someone might have a neutral opinion abt the sonic fandom, then see my “bad” art, and suddenly have a negative opinion about everyone who likes sonic. 

when i first started creating content in this fandom, i was just doing it as self-indulgence, writing stories i had played out so many times in my head with my fav characters. eventually tho, i started getting pretty good at writing, and my goals changed. now, when i write, i try to make stories that are so “blow-your-mind” amazing that you forget you’re reading sonic fanfiction. like, if someone read my writing, and thought the sonic fandom was all cringe, i would hope that they’d have a different opinion after reading some of my fics. my mentality with the sonic fandom became “leave it better than you found it” in that sense, i guess? if that makes sense?

now that i’m trying art, i kinda have that lingering mentality still. in the back of my mind, if my art isn’t “amazing”, or at the very least “good”, i’m bringing the whole fandom down. i’m thrown into the heaping pile of “cringeworthy sonic fans”. i’m worthless as a creator except for neutrals to have a laugh at my expense. all the personal accomplishments i’ve made with fanfiction are worthless. 

so ye. that’s why, when i start feeling like my art isn’t great, that i get so down. i feel like everyone’s looking down on me, and the fandom, and it makes me so extremely sad. like their opinion of me or the fandom has changed somehow bc my art isn’t good. and what i’ve described above is why i try so hard to make my art “blow-your-mind” amazing. that’s why i care so much what my art looks like, or where it is on the spectrum to “bad to amazing”. that’s why it hurts so much when people say my art “isn’t amazing”, like so many ppl have, even though i know that’s true. i haven’t even seriously been trying to improve with art for a year yet, of course it isn’t amazing!

anyways. ye. just wanted to give y’all an understanding of why i get so down on myself sometimes, and why i care so much about ur opinions on my art. it’s convoluted and stupid, but it’s a mentality that’s been ingrained in my brain for so many years

[hiraethc-blog]

long list of character traits . feel free to use .

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: sekiko lawley ayumi  PRONUNCIATION: seh - key - koh // lah - ley // ah - yuu - me . MEANING: i dont hecking know someone told me that sekis full name means seatbelt and honestly that really fits her REASONING: her parents wanted a seatbelt not a fucking child NICKNAME(S): seki , asswipe , meme . PREFERRED NAME(S): seki ! BIRTH DATE: june 15th , 1998 .  AGE: 18 technically an adult even tho shes mentally like 8 ZODIAC: gemini probably  GENDER: female PRONOUNS: she / her  ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: bisexual as heck SEXUAL ORIENTATION: she doesnt like sex hon NATIONALITY: english / british  ETHNICITY: white CURRENT LOCATION: brighton england LIVING CONDITIONS: she lives in a shitty apartment in a shitty part of town can she get anymore mary sue TITLE(S): punk ass , meme , dead inside

BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE: shes from london HOMETOWN: london SOCIAL CLASS: shes debating becoming a camgirl for more money what does that tell u EDUCATION LEVEL: shes so smart ?? like she hides it a lot but she’s super hecking smart wtf dont get on her bad side FATHER: yuuta ayumi . bad news bears  MOTHER: naomi ayumi . bad news bears v2 SIBLING(S): yoshida ayumi . good meme but dead LITERALLY DEAD BIRTH ORDER: yoshida , seki CHILDREN: she hates kids PET(S): she has two dogs ( max , and pepe )  OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: none theyre all dead she probably killed them PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: sekis afraid of love and commitment ARRESTS?: probably around 420 times but she always gets off easy bc shes friends with the sheriff and he feels bad for her PRISON TIME?: she spent a night in a cell down at the station does that count

OCCUPATION & INCOME

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: her barista work SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME: none TERTIARY SOURCE(S) OF INCOME: none lol shes poor APPROXIMATE AMOUNT PER YEAR: how much does a barista get paid again CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: shes chill w it tbh its like starbucks but a knockoff PAST JOB(S): she used to work at a library with her friend and eventually got fired for being too loud SPENDING HABITS: she never saves shit she spends it all in one go MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: pepe the frog

SKILLS & ABILITIES

PHYSICAL STRENGTH: shes stupidly strong for how small she is tf OFFENSE: lmao DEFENSE: LMAO SPEED: she Smol but Fast like sonic  INTELLIGENCE: stupidly smart we already went over this ACCURACY: eh shes alright AGILITY: Chill STAMINA: she has like no stamina shes so out of shape TEAMWORK: she doesnt like working w other people she gets snappy TALENTS: she can cook and she’s made 1 popular meme does that make her good SHORTCOMINGS: none shes perfect LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: english , and a bit of japanese from when she lived in japan for like a year . DRIVE?: yeet  JUMP-STAR A CAR? : ofc  CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: yes RIDE A BICYCLE?: probably SWIM?: she just learned like a month ago PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: she used to play recorder but her roommate snapped it in half PLAY CHESS?: no thats for nerds BRAID HAIR?: yes TIE A TIE?: yes PICK A LOCK?: she knows WAY too well

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM: marzia bisognin or dodie clark EYE COLOR: brown HAIR COLOR: brown HAIR TYPE/STYLE: its just straight and long   GLASSES/CONTACTS?: she has glasses but never wears them bc she likes living the high life and having the possiblity of getting hit by a car DOMINANT HAND: both shes Powerful HEIGHT: 5′1 feet WEIGHT: 122 pounds BUILD: Smol but Strongk EXERCISE HABITS: none shes bad SKIN TONE: ivory TATTOOS: she has a lot ?? click HERE , HERE , and HERE for reference pictures . she has a few more but they’re not visible  PIERCINGS: uhh her nose , and a LOT of piercings in her ears from her Emo Days  MARKS/SCARS: she has circular burns on her shoulders , and scars up and down her forearms , and thighs . NOTABLE FEATURES: how short she is  USUAL EXPRESSION: a smile usually  CLOTHING STYLE: tbh it depends on the day ?? she could be emo or pastel it depends on how shes feeling JEWELRY: earrings , nose piercing , thats abt it . she likes necklaces and rings but she doesnt wear them much  ALLERGIES: shes allergic to jerks BODY TEMPERATURE: like 98 degrees farenheight idk whats the normal body temp DIET: she likes soda and pizza PHYSICAL AILMENTS: nothing rly tbfh

PSYCHOLOGY

JUNG TYPE: entp  JUNG SUBTYPE: estp ENNEAGRAM TYPE: type six MORAL ALIGNMENT: chaotic neutral  TEMPERAMENT: sanguine  ELEMENT: fire PRIMARY INTELLIGENCE TYPE: bodily-kinesthetic intelligence APPROXIMATE IQ: 115 MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: depression , anxiety , ptsd  SOCIABILITY: she socialized too much tf EMOTIONAL STABILITY: Lol OBSESSION(S): her dogs and makeup COMPULSION(S): eh PHOBIA(S): abandonment and commitment what a duo ADDICTION(S): nah DRUG USE: shes tried everything at this point ALCOHOL USE: yup PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: Yes

MANNERISMS

SPEECH STYLE: shes v loud like?? Overly Confident ACCENT: british bitch QUIRKS: she can make some wild things from coffee HOBBIES: going 2 sephora HABITS: bites her nails tf NERVOUS TICKS: she will Shake(tm) DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: um dont die bc u have pets FEARS: commitment n abandonment POSITIVE TRAITS: smart , funny , kind ( at times ) NEGATIVE TRAITS: paranoid , sarcastic , violent SENSE OF HUMOR: vulgar DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: yes  CATCHPHRASE(S): “ FUCK YOU LADS “

FAVORITES

ACTIVITY: going 2 a zoo or pet shop  ANIMAL: probably a lemur or something weird BEVERAGE: pepsi BOOK: who reads these days CELEBRITY: she likes youtubers more tbfh COLOR: black or pastel pink DESIGNER: Lol FOOD: she likes pizza tyvm FLOWER: roses GEM: opal bc its Pretty HOLIDAY: christmas it makes her feel Happy MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: the subway MOVIE: shrek MUSICAL ARTIST: smash mouth  QUOTE/SAYING: “ and , there will come a time you’ll see with no more tears , and love will not break your heart , but dismiss your fears . get over your hill and see what you have there , with grace in your heart , and flowers in your hair . “ SCENERY: autumn time . serenity , and calmness in a small villa . SCENT: vanilla . SPORT: softball . SPORTS TEAM: idk she doesnt like sports TELEVISION SHOW: bitch she will nut for anything horror based WEATHER: CLOUDY & RAINY PLS VACATION DESTINATION: uhhh probably los angeles or new york