#the thing about bi and pansexuality is that I feel like repurposing those labels for being attracted to all secondary genders would read ok

[felixwriting]

Hey, omegaverse people! Any ideas for terms for in-universe sexualities like an omega who is only attracted to other omegas or an alpha only attracted to other alphas? Or should I maybe just give up on trying to come up with in-universe terms and just go with real-world ones like gay, since attraction is based on secondary genders in this thing I'm working on, so a male alpha attracted to a male omega is technically straight, I fucking guess

[offwhitemage]

There's a word for persons who desire sex with men, women and everything in between and that bisexual/ pansexual. why are lesbians/ homosexuals the ones to be fluid when heteros aren't. Bi/pansexuality is literally being fluid. You can be more attracted to one than the other vice versa etc. Please stop using conversion therapy talking points against lesbians. Remember our dark history. /gen

Bestie, sexuality is about attraction, not action. I was no less a lesbian when I was participating in comphet and having sex with men, I just wasn't ready to admit it. You can have sex with people you aren't sexually attracted to, and as long as that sex is safe, sane, and consensual, I think that's fine. That goes for straight people too. I don't have to be attracted to a massage therapist to appreciate their touch, why should I have to be attracted to a sex partner to appreciate theirs?

Conversion therapy is emotional manipulation at an extreme level. They'll say anything to get under your skin and into your brain to get you to comply. It sucks that people have been put through those experiences, and that radical acceptance talking points have been repurposed for nefarious means.

I haven't been through conversion therapy personally. I can't understand that trauma on a personal level, and I won't disrespect people who have by pretending otherwise. Your trauma is yours; only you can process and heal from it, and that journey looks different for everybody.

The goal of conversation therapy is to convince queer people that they aren't queer though whatever means necessary. They'll tell lesbians that it's okay if they have sex with men because that makes them more likely to participate in comphet, which is their goal. They'll tell gay men the same thing for the same reason. Their goal is to get people to sweep their own labels under the rug in the name of societal acceptance and norm adherance. Gatekeeping labels from people who don't fit neatly into your definition of that label has the same effect.

Why would you want someone who identifies as a lesbian to instead identify as bi or pan when they feel that lesbian is the label that best fits them? Who benefits from fighting and gatekeeping within the LGBTQ+ community? We don't have to have the same experiences to be supportive of each other.

It's fine for lesbians to be repulsed by sex with men. It's fine for lesbians to experience dysphoria from strap-ons. It's fine for lesbians to have sex with trans and nonbinary people. It's fine for lesbians to be straight couples' unicorns. It's fine for lesbians to have a penis. It's fine for lesbians to be stone tops. It's fine for lesbians to be pillow princesses. Lesbians can do whatever they want forever, it doesn't make them any less valid as lesbians, and it doesn't mean they need to change their label to something that makes you more comfortable.

Peace and love on the planet Earth.

[posi-pan]

Hey!! I love this blog so much omg. I'm sorry if this ask is too negative, but I just saw an incredibly panphobic post from someone I thought I could trust, about how being more comfortable with the pan label than the bi label is inherently biphobic, and several links talking about how pansexuality as an identity itself is biphobic and transphobic and how if people continue to identity as such are directly oppressing bi people and are the reason for biphobia. I'm a panromantic person who is genuinely supportive of bi people, and I just feel a little sick when this stuff is on my dash, and I just really wanted to tell someone who would understand. Again, I'm sorry if this ask beings unwanted negativity, I just needed somewhere to vent and I hope you don't mind. Feel free to delete this ask if you want to :)

hi! i'm glad you love the blog!!! and i definitely don't mind that you're venting here. i'm happy to offer you a place to vent, free from judgement or anything like that. i'm really sorry you saw that from someone you trusted. i'm so tired of these panphobic lies that have been debunked time and time again still being spread. and such egregious lies, like pan people existing oppresses bi people or are the cause of biphobia. like what a crock of fucking shit. i hope you know those things don't have an ounce of truth to them. i mean, bi history doesn't even support anything they say. even though it can be hard, it's important to try not to give too much energy or emotion to what they say, because it's all just repurposed queerphobia without a single bit of honesty or self-awareness.

[posi-pan]

i'm pan and i just struggle so much with how little attention we get. and i mean this in the least terrible way possible, i'm not trying to invalidate others, i just get so angry when there are posts talking about how much biphobia there is, and although i know it's not right to invalidate what they're saying and try to make my point, there's literally no pan representation at all, and although there is only a little bi representation, there still is some. how do u suggest i deal with this? thx

by telling you that “there’s literally no pan representation at all” is not true.

(and a little offensive to say to someone who made it their mission to find and keep track of any and all pan rep in existence i mean….i made lists)

let’s break it down.

there are 54 famous/known people who have openly identified as pan. 16 of those people also identify with other sexual/romantic orientation labels (queer, fluid, bi, omni, ace, grey-a, demi, etc.).

a list of famous pan (and queer/unlabeled) people + a rebloggable version

there are 190+ canon pan book characters. the majority are pansexual, around 23 are panromantic. there are 25+ implied/hinted pan book characters. nearly all are pansexual, only 1 is panromantic.

a list of books with pan rep

there are 40 canon and 34 implied/hintedpan television characters. all are pansexual.

a list of pan rep in television

there are 7 canon and 4 implied/hinted pan comic characters. all are pansexual.

there are 9 canon and 4 implied/hinted game pan characters. all are pansexual.

there are 3 canon and 2 implied/hinted pan movie characters. all are pansexual.

there is 1 musical pansexual character.

there are 10 canon pan webcomic characters. 7 are pansexual and 3 are panromantic.

there are 27 canon pan webseries characters. nearly all are pansexual, only 1 is panromantic.

a masterlist of pan rep in all forms of media (books, comics, games, movies, television, webcomics, and webseries)

so, as we can see, there IS pan rep. both in fictional characters and in famous/known people. and I’m sure there are some I’ve missed. I know it’s not a lot, especially not compared to straight characters/people, but it’s something. and it’s important.

I know it’s easy to get frustrated and say there’s no pan rep, but that only further erases the pan rep that does exists. we should be celebrating the pan rep we have and fighting for more, not erasing it to make it seem like we have it worse than other identities.

I know it’s easy to frustrated at people who have more visibility/rep than you, but them having a little bit more visibility/rep than you doesn’t change the fact that they still don’t have a lot of visibility/rep in the grand scheme of things, and that hate/erasure against them is still a huge problem.

to deal with this frustration, I suggest repurposing/redirecting that energy.

when you find yourself getting frustrated at other queer people for talking about erasure simply because they have more visibility/rep than you, stop and remind yourself that rep for you exists and you should be focusing on celebrating that rep.

instead of being mad at other queer people who are just as deserving of visibility/rep as you and entitled to talking about erasure as you, be mad at queer organizations who aren’t inclusive of pan, people who spread harmful narrative about pan, writers who don’t use the word pan on screen, writers/actors who treat pan as a shiny, new buzzword rather than a legitimate identity deserving of rep and respect.

use that anger to fight for pan rep. be loud and angry as hell about how little rep we have and barely visible we are. scream about how we need and deserve more rep. yell about how people need to start appreciating the pan rep we do have. even hype the hell out of your pan headcanons. make all the noise and don’t let other people allow pan to fall into the shadows.

just make sure you’re angry at and taking that anger out on the right people. other queer people who are in the same exact boat as us do not deserve your anger and frustration. at least, not about this.

I hope this helps and makes you feel a little better.