#the teachers are all very supportive where i live and all own a sweater that says 'protect trans youth'

[gabagemf17]

April TC challenge

even tho its may now//

1. What is the most adorable thing your TC has done?

Everything B does is pretty cute, but as I mentioned in her other post its probably her eyes getting all wide and soft smile when she's excited ab something.

2. On a scale of 1-10, how intense are your feelings towards your TC. Why?

I'd day around an 8-9/10. It's been a slow burn from platonic crush to genuine attachment to romantic/sexual attraction.

3. Does your TC have any cute quirks/habits? If yes, which one is your favourite?

There's a couple things, but I loveee the way she speaks, it's very theatrical and melodic, even when she's just talking to me . (Long dramatic sighs, "but alas...", etc.)

4. If you could change one thing about your TC, what would it be and why?

Her love of country music. Definitely unexpected coming from her, and I'll certainly put up with it, but I hate the genre myself.

5. If you had to confess your feelings to your TC, what would be the perfect way of doing so?

I'm not sure. I guess all I can picture is me, shortly after graduating (over 18), alone with her. Maybe we're at a coffee shop. She broke up with her fiancee before they got married a few years ago and I mention it offhand. "You know, I always used to have a crush on you, B"

6. When having a TC, what is the most important thing to remember?

Teacher/student relationships are really always immoral, and you certainly shouldn't express feelings when you're a minor, this can make them either extremely uncomfortable or potentially put you in a place of danger. Keep it professional/friendly.

7. If you had the chance to re-live/change one moment with your TC, which one would it be? And if you wished to change it, how would you?

If I could, I would re-live the hug I received in the hallway after my dog passed. It was really hard and we had presentations to do that day and I was so tired and barely able to contain my tears. She talked to me through it and told me she'd really rather spend her time with me in the hall than in the classroom. Before we went in, she said "Can I give you a hug? I don't wanna be weird" And ofc I took that opportunity, and as expected it felt really nice and comforting. I'd like to do it again one day in a different context.

8. Why do you think people fall for their teachers?

It can be a lot of things, but from what I can tell it stems largely from the support and maturity from the teachers that they may be lacking in other parts of life (parents, yourself, etc.)

9. If a close friend/relative frowned upon the fact you have a TC, what would you say to change their opinion?

I probably wouldn't. People that don't get it, don't get it. (That's like I'd tell someone irl in the first place)

10. If you went out on a date with your TC, what do you think they would wear?

Depends on the date. Probably not somewhere stuffy. I can see her wearing her pretty normal clothes. A cute sweater and some jeans, pair of slip ons.

11. List 1-5 of your TC’s best qualities.

Her intelligence, her humour, her sweetness, her smile, her eyes

12. How would you feel if you found out your TC had feelings for another student?

Well besides it being ILLEGAL, I'd probably be crushed. I'm one of the few students who really appreciates her, most of her students treat her like shit and take advantage of her.

13. What do you find most attractive about your TC?

HER SMILE IT GIVES ME BUTTERFLIES :)

14. What is your TC’s reputation around school?

Young, pretty, and too nice for her own good

15. If you had to serenade your TC, which song would you choose and why?

Cause' I Love You- Johnny Cash <3

16. What hobbies does your TC have out of school?

Witchcraft and anime (:

17. If you could travel anywhere in the world with your TC, where would it be and why?

She mentioned always wanting to go to Scotland, so there fs.

18. Imagine if you and your TC were in a relationship and lived together. Describe the perfect daily routine. (As a bonus, how would you split the chores?)

I wake up at 4:45, make two cups of tea. She wakes up shortly after and we sit on the balcony and take turns reading to each other. I make a small but filling breakfast that she eats as she gets ready for work. As she's at work, I finish most of the housework, and I start working on my comic. I take a short break to paint, and she comes home to a large painting of herself in the easel and freshly delivered takeout on the table. We eat and she tells me about her day and I massage her shoulders while we drink our evening tea. I then put on some netflix afterward and we fall asleep together.

19. If you found your TC visibly upset and/or crying, would you comfort them? If yes, how would you go about it?

I would place a hand on her shoulder and offer a listening ear, as she's done for me more times than I'm willing to admit. Maybe hold her hand in mine, a gentle hug, a warm smile. Whatever to make her feel better.

20. How would you feel if your TC suddenly cut off all contact with you? What do you think their reason would be?

I honestly couldn't see her doing that at all. I'd be wrecked though.

21. What do you think your TC’s opinion of you is?

I'm definitely a favorite student. I help her whenever she needs it, and make conversation with her often. She prob thinks I'm an emotional wreck tho, and maybe a teensy bit of an asshole. I've had no gripes about telling her that I'm not nearly as nice to teachers I don't like so much, she doesn't mind much tho "Well I'm glad you've taken a liking to me"

22. Has your TC influenced your opinions in any way? Likewise, how has having a TC changed you?

I'll be honest. I used to think the TCC was weird and gross and promoting unhealthy attachments and sometimes p3d0philia. Now, however, I know what it feels like first hand and find solace in knowing there's people out there with the same struggle I have.

23. Are you ashamed of your feelings towards your TC? If yes, why?

Definitely, before this I've only really had "conventional" crushes, and I often daydream about her breaking up with her fiancee or cheating on him and I know that's not right and is very selfish.

24. What is more attractive? Your TC’s appearance or personality?

Probably her personality. It's what draws people in. She's not conventionally/traditionally "hot", as most people would put it (though she's DEFINITELY not ugly.) but still everyone I've talked to thinks she's really cute bc of her empathetic demeanor

25. What makes your TC special to you?

I've had "nice" teachers before, but I've never felt this attached. Maybe it's she way she's curious about my life, or remembers the things I tell her, or her own cute little quirks and interests that always leave me wanting to know more about her. I just really LIKE her, in it's purest form.

 26. Describe your TC’s appearance.

She's short, pale, with a round face and big grey eyes. Cute little crows feet when she smiles and frizzly brown curls/waves. Small hands and tight-lined eyeliner that only accentuates her beautiful eyes. The cloudy/distant look before anyone walks into the classroom when she's bored grading things.

27. When you first met your TC, did you think you’d feel the way you do now? If not, what made you fall for them?

Probably not, as I never expected to have a TC at all. However, I could tell she was a favorite from day 1, which was refreshing for the asshole I had for English last year.

28. If you could get your TC a gift for any occasion, what would it be?

Her favorite doughnuts or some nice incense/candles

29. How have your feelings affected your everyday life? Has it affected the way you do work for their class? (If you have them as a teacher.)

100%. I definitely work harder and actually study for her class. I also talk about her like she's god, sticking out even though most of her students speak of her fondly.

Day 30) What is the best and worst thing that happened with your TC during the past month? In addition, how do you predict these moments will affect your relationship in the future?

This past month was rough. I'd guess the best and worst moments are about the same. It's my most vulnerable and emotional moments that, despite being incredibly embarrassing for me, also reassure that she really cares and listens to me when I have no one else to. I think we've definitely grown closer from it, and I plan to show her I'm a big girl, and I can bounce back from moments like this.

[letarasstuff]

Ranting

(A/N): This was requested by an anon, I hope you like it :)

Summary: In the middle of midterms, Spencer's daughter has enough and for the first time in her life, she rants to the team

Warnings: one swear word, school, school stress, mental breakdown, shitty friends, a bit of angst (but there is fluff to balance that out), weird grammatical sentences that are according to google correct

Wordcount: 2.3k

✨Masterlist✨ _____________________________ As a teenager, Spencer was pretty closed off. But this had several reasons, like being a child (or moreover a teen prodigy) at college and getting his first Ph.D, or that he hadn’t had a safety net of people he could have gone to. So as he became a father himself, he tried everything possible to assure his own daughter that her feelings and thoughts are always welcome and valid.

Unfortunately (Y/N) herself has developed the same habit starting high school and ever since Spencer can’t do anything to get her to open up to him. It’s not like they don’t have a good relationship, they have one of the strongest father-daughter bonds the BAU has ever witnessed. The girl simply has other ways to cope with her feelings and how to act them out in the safety of her own four walls. Her father learned to accept it, knowing that he can’t and won’t force her to talk to him.

So what follows now not only shocked Spencer. But also his work family.

It’s the time every teen in high school dreads: Midterms.

A word a teacher can mutter and a shiver goes through the rows of students in the classroom. Or at least it feels like it to (Y/N). She takes her school work very seriously. In her mind every single grade determines her future.

The rational part in her knows that the grades in her sophomore year doesn’t matter. That they are even long forgotten when she graduates. There is just so much pressure on her. But it isn’t coming from her father.

Spencer is pretty laid-back regarding school. He knows his daughter is trying her best and that it’s just the tenth grade and not the end of the world. School is not everything life has to offer, especially he has to know it as a scholar and profiler flying through the country in a jet back and forth.

It’s (Y/N)’s classmates, who pressure her to get good grades.

“We depend on you and your notes”, Tyler exclaims as he jogs next to her through the busy hallway. “Ty, I know. But I don’t have the time to get them done for all of you to understand by tomorrow. They are still a mess that only I know to see through. I still have to finish my history project and I go to my Dad’s work this afternoon, which means I won’t get much done and I still have to do the homework I got today before sorting my notes for the test in two days.”

At her locker, the boy still doesn’t let go of the subject. “Do you want to say that our grades don’t matter as much as yours? Because this would be a true selfish statement.�� Maybe it is the lack of sleep, because she pulled three all-nighters in two weeks, or the fact that she is slowly getting fed up being treated like an unpaid private teacher, but (Y/N) can’t stop her sassy answer. “Tyler, you wouldn't even know how to tell apart your ass from your head if it weren’t for me and my help in biology. You wouldn’t even know how to spell selfish if I didn’t let you copy my answers in spelling tests in elementary school.”

Done with the day and her friend’s shit, she slams the door of her locker shut and leaves a flabbergasted boy behind. Half an hour later the teenager enters the bullpen with her visitor badge clipped to the pocket of her sweater.

On the way there she was fuming. The audacity of her friends. It’s not only Tyler, who tried to get her notes of a unit, she was the only one listening, even though the teacher said loud and clear that this will be important for midterms. A few other friends out of the group she usually hangs out with texted her the same question of when her notes will be given to them. Understandably, (Y/N) comes into the office in the worst mood anyone from the team ever saw, including her own father.

“Hey Sweetheart”, he tries to greet her with a hug. Even though both of them are not big on touch, they are extra affectionate with people they are close to.

To everybody’s surprise, the girl takes a step back, effectively avoiding his open arms. “Hey”, she grumbles out before taking a seat in the chair already waiting for her. Nobody is allowed to sit in this one, except for her. Not even Derek has ever put his butt on this one, knowing the sacredness of it.

Without sparing anyone another glance, (Y/N) gets the needed stuff for that history project out and continues working on it. The team resorts to throwing a questiongly look to Spencer, who shrugs his shoulders with a look of despair. So everyone resumes their work without even daring to say a word.

The general silence is occasionally broken by an unnerved sigh leaving the teenager’s lips. “Is the conference room occupied?” She asks, her voice clearly showing how annoyed she is. Her father shakes his head. “No, not that I know of. Do you need help with your school work?” This is obviously the wrong thing to say. “Do I look like a baby? I don’t need anyone to help with that, I have been going to school for ten years now, I think I can handle this project as perfectly fine as I did since day one. It’s just your keyboard typing that will be the reason for my first grey hairs if I don’t get out of here soon.”

Quickly (Y/N) gathers her stuff and storms off into the conference room. Immediately the team crowds her father’s desk. “What happened?” “Who hurt her?” “Go, talk to her!”

“Guys, I don’t know what’s going on. I’m at the same loss as all of you. The only thing I know is that (Y/N) is under pressure, because it’s midterms. But judging by the way she reacted, I don’t want to go near her. It’s safer to try to defuse a bomb than talk to her in that mood. Last time I saw something similar, her favorite show was declared finished, got a revival and then didn’t get one and nobody mentioned it again. She was so mad, I think it took three years of her life.” A silence of uncertainty spreads through the room.

“What about we give her some room until she calms down?” JJ suggests, being unsure herself how to deal with a teenage girl. But the rest agrees and goes back to filling out their paperwork.

This continues for about 20 minutes, till a loud bang and a frustrated scream is heard followed by “DON’T THEY WANT TO GET IT OR ARE THEY JUST STUPID?!” Alerted by that, seven people (yes, even Dave and Aaron leave their offices, while Penelope was already in the bullpen) storm into the round table room only to see a more than outraged (Y/N).

“Sweetheart”, Spencer speaks to her in the gentlest voice they ever heard from him and slowly moves towards his daughter, “What’s going on?”

Her response is delayed by several deep breaths she has to take in order to be able to talk without seething. “ALL OF MY SO CALLED FRIENDS ARE ASKING ME FOR MY NOTES, like do I look like a personal tutor? And when I tell them that I got a life, a life outside of school and grades, because otherwise I go completely bananas, just like all of you say, they get mad. Now they act like I’m the most selfish person in the whole world. I’m so done, can’t they understand that they are old enough to take care of their own stuff? I’m not responsible for them, their grades or anything regarding their lives. Otherwise I would be the mother of at least four toddlers and one baby and at the age of sixteen I’m not ready for that kind of responsibility. I know friends are there for eachother, and I really don’t mind helping them from time to time. But what they are doing is terror. Terror.

“Oh and don’t get me started on their tormention if I get something lower than an A-. Then they suddenly transform into geniuses, like they suddenly know everything possible. Of course, I’m the dumb one. I should have studied more.

“I am under an insane amount of pressure, because I know they rely on me, but enough is enough. I tell them that if anyone asks me for anything school related again and they act like I owe them an answer, I’ll cut off all ties to all of them. What am I, a roboter just there for their needs, without some of my own?”

After her long rant, (Y/N) takes a couple more breaths. It’s pretty much the only sound right now, because the team is stunned. None of them heard her talking, no ranting, like that. Not even her Spencer has seen her like that.

Realizing what she just said, the teenager fidgets nervously with her hands. “I’m, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, you know, blow up like that. I, I really don’t know where this came from.” Nervously she scratches the back of her head. It really wasn’t her intention to let it out like that. Her plan was just to come home tonight and deal in the confinement of her own four walls with all of her feelings. It’s easier to be honest to yourself when you are alone than having an audience watching you losing it.

Suddenly (Y/N) finds herself engulfed in a massive bear hug. “Oh, my sweet sweet summerchild. You needed to rant to us and I’m so happy you did. Even though your uhm, friends, sound like big douchebags, we can help you sort something out”, Penelope tells her while keeping her arms around the teen.

“Just like lil mama said, we are here for you, Baby Reid. Don’t ever be afraid to tell us something, may it even be as small as you having stubbed your toe.” Morgan ruffles her hair and gives her a reassuring smile.

Just like them everybody shows her their support, be it encouraging words or affectionately gestures. Rossi invites her to a calm and quiet dinner at his mansion, cooking class included. Hotch assures her that she will get through this rough patch, with or without these fake people. JJ suggests (Y/N) comes over to her home and she can participate in a family game night at their home.

When it’s Emily’s turn, she makes sure to get her message loud and clear by looking the teen in the eyes (not as deep as it sounds, because some people make an intense stare really uncomfortable): “If those kids give you a hard time again, tell me. I’ll pay them a visit in classic protective godmother fashion, because nobody traits MY godchild like this. Just give me their names and I’ll handle the rest.” Obviously she doesn’t say this aloud in front of everyone, else Hotch will have her head, knowing she goes through with her threats. Instead she whispers it into the teen’s ear. Still, it makes (Y/N) smile, having such a strong support net.

Sensing the family’s need for time of their own to talk about the whole situation, the team leaves the room. Spencer gestures to her to take a seat after moving two chairs opposite each other. He wants her not to feel trapped.

“Do you still want to talk about it? It doesn’t have to be now, we can do it tonight, tomorrow, in a week or in a month. Just, please don’t shut me out. I know it’s difficult to be a teenager, especially in times like these. But it won’t do you any good keeping all of this for yourself. Today you took it out through anger. How will it look next time?

I don’t want to pressure you into talking. We don’t need to. We can find other coping mechanisms. We can try and reduce your stress. Anything. But we both know that this is not the right way.” While speaking, he takes his daughter’s hand, making her look up to him.

(Y/N) nods. Her eyes fill with tears. “I just can’t keep going like this.” She whispers, feeling all the stress, pressure and the intensity of the last few weeks crashing down on her. Quickly Spencer gathers her in his arms, letting her cry in his embrace.

After calming down, she looks up to her father with bloodshot eyes. “We can talk tonight. But I need you to do me a favor.” “Anything”, he assures her, stroking a hand along her back. “I, uhm, I need a new phone. I may or may not have thrown mine against the wall after getting a text from Tyler.”

Spencer looks at the crooked cell laying on the floor, the screen cracked. “I think we can get that sorted”, he tells her with a smile and gives her a kiss on the forehead.

The two of them leave the office earlier, having many things to talk about and many problems to solve. But with the help of her family (Y/N) gets through this, a time where people unfortunately only like her for her smarts and not being herself.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos @jswessie187 @kneelforloki

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962 @ellyhotchner

[sinner-as-saint]

illicit affairs

Mob!seb x nanny!reader

Run-through: You work for the city’s most feared and respected mob boss, Sebastian. Sure, he has a bad reputation on the news, and most people would stay as far away from him as possible, but not you. Because to you, he’s just the single dad whose toddlers you watch Monday through Friday. You admire the man, but he holds a secret close to his heart – despite knowing you are in a relationship, he can’t help but fall hopelessly in love with you...

Themes: mob!seb, smut, angst, mentions of infidelity, fluff

Sebastian came home late, again.

Work had been stressful lately, but the sight of his home made him feel much, much better. Inside the mansion, he knew his two boys would be asleep by now, after causing a ruckus all day. Tucked into bed by you.

As he stepped inside his home, he had a smile on his face just at the thought of you. Y/N…

He had appointed you to be his kids’ nanny about a year ago. And he knew it was wrong, but for the past year or so there wasn’t day where he hadn’t wished that you were his girl instead. He knew you were in a relationship with a boyfriend of yours. And yet, each time he saw your face – which was almost each morning and evening during the week – he couldn’t help but tell himself that he would treat you so much better.

Maybe it was your warmth, or your gentleness. Or how you could take control of the situation whenever the boys acted up. He had always liked you, since the very first day. But the day he knew his feelings for you were so much more firm and real than just a crush happened a few months ago;

The eldest of the twins, Stefan, had a pretty serious allergic reaction to something he ate. It was Sebastian’s fault. But despite it being a weekend, when the boy was rushed to the hospital, Sebastian called you; panicking and scared and worried sick.

You didn’t think twice before driving to the hospital as well. You had grown to adore his boys, they were so precious. And hearing that one of them was sick, you panicked as well. You also rushed because you knew Sebastian would be alone and you had grown to care about him as well. There, as soon as he saw you down the hallway, Sebastian didn’t think twice before rushing to hug you. It did take you by surprise, his sudden display of affection but you comforted the worried father nonetheless.

It surprised him as well, that he relied on you for emotional support. But he had been lonely his whole life, and he didn’t know what to do. You were the closest thing he had to a friend or family, so he held on to you. Something changed that day, for the two of you.

Since that day, his feelings for you solidified. And despite it being wrong, he couldn’t help it. He wanted you. Craved you more than he had anything before. But you were taken.

 Sebastian stepped into the large, open living room and found you gathering his kids’ toys into a huge basket. You were knelt on the carpet flooring and you had a faint smile on your face as you put away the chaos caused by the 4-year old little monsters.

He lingered around and admired you from afar. Your hair was down today, red lipstick like always. You wore a little, black summer dress. You looked breathtaking. So close, but he couldn’t just reach out and touch you because you belonged to someone else.

How he wished you were his and he could just have you in his arms and kiss you and tell you about his day after he asked you about yours. Sebastian scoffed quietly at the thought of the boyfriend you had. Lucky bastard, whoever he was.

He cleared his throat and that caught your attention. “You’re back,” you said softly and smiled at him. You rose to your feet. “I just put them to bed.”

Sebastian smiled and nodded. Then pointed at the pile of mess around your feet. “I’m sorry they make such a mess all the time.”

You smiled and shook your head. “It’s nothing I can’t handle.” You replied and Sebastian smiled bigger.

“Well, once you’re done handling it, could you come up and meet me in the library? There’s something we need to discuss before you leave.”

You smiled and nodded. “Sure, Mr. Stan.”

He sighed as he turned around to leave. “For the hundredth time, Y/N, it’s Sebastian.” He said playfully and left the room.

You smiled and watched him leave. He was so easy to be around. And talk to. And you would be lying if you said you didn’t find the man charming and attractive with his bad boy charm around all the time. He was the kind of man who dominated whatever room he entered. Handsome, dangerous and electric – he had quite the reputation for being bad.

But you were one amongst the few people who knew that Sebastian also had a heart of gold. He was good to his kids, better than most parents were. He was attentive and dedicated his entire weekends to his boys. He made his kids his priority. And they loved him, he was their superhero.

You talked to him each day, usually after the kids went to bed, which is around the same time he comes home. You filled him in on the day, told him about all the mischief the boys were up to and showed him all the work they did with their teacher who came by each day. Sebastian preferred his kids to be privately tutored from home, instead of risking sending them to school. And he was more than able to afford an expensive education for them, he practically owned a huge chunk of the city itself.

He was quite hard to read though. In the beginning, you used to think he didn’t like you, given how little he talked to you. But over time, he opened up just a little more. You didn’t know much about him in the beginning, other than the fact that he was a mob. But the more time you spent in his house, the more you heard the housekeepers talk about him.

So far you gathered that the reason he was a single dad is because he had a temporary fling with a woman he didn’t know too well, but then she got pregnant but decided she couldn’t take up the responsibility of being a mother so when the babies were born, she handed them over to Sebastian and took off. No one’s heard of her since. And the reason why Sebastian doesn’t date or marry is because he’s very protective of his kids and can’t just let anyone in his life anymore. Besides, dating such a powerful man couldn’t possibly be just anyone’s cup of tea. Being in a relationship with him would be thrilling, risqué – almost illicit given his reputation. So you thought.

You admired many things about him, but mainly how he made his family and their happiness his priority.

 After you tidied up the toys, you took the stairs up and walked over to the grand library/study room Sebastian had in his house. He didn’t read much, but he did tell you that you were more than welcomed to use it whenever you wanted. So you did spend a lot of time here actually, when the kids napped during the day or when they were taking lessons from their teacher.

You knocked on the door, and he asked you to come in. You smiled at him as you entered, he sat at his large, mahogany desk with a glass of wine in his hand. He had changed out of his dark suit, now in a cream colored sweater. He still looked better than ever. You wouldn’t lie, you did have an innocent crush on the man. How could you not?

“Have a seat.” He said warmly, pointing at the chair right across him. “Wine?”

You shook your head. “No, thank you.” he kept his eyes on you as he took a sip out of his glass. And it was situations like these with him that made it hard to breathe for you. Why did he have to be so handsome? Focus, Y/N. “You said you wanted to discuss something.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I… uh, we’ll get to that in a minute. Tell me about your day.” He listened patiently, with a permanent smile on his face, as you told him all about what the boys did during the day. Truth is, as much as he loved listening about all the things his sons did, he also loved listening to your voice. It calmed him down after his long, and hard days at work.

The conversation flowed back and forth between the two of you almost effortlessly. And he finally got to the point. What he needed to talk to you about was regarding his work. Turns out, his guys are perfectly able to handle fights and guns but they were morons when it came to paperwork. So Sebastian needed someone to handle his paperwork here from home. Somewhat like a PA. And he knew he’d have a hard time trusting someone else, and he knew you were more than capable of doing it. So he decided to ask you instead.

Part of the reason why he asked you may or may not have been because if you did agree to it, you’d be around him a lot more. Given you would be spending much more time at his place.

“Your salary would be doubled the figure it is now. However you would have to sacrifice some more hours of your personal time for me each day. Maybe even sometimes on the weekends.” He paused and watched you intently. “I know it’s a lot to ask for, but things have been rough lately and I can’t trust anyone else.” He explained.

You gave it a proper thought. Doubled the salary? Your current salary was in itself much, much more than most nannies. Also, taking up this job as well would result in you spending more time here, and around the kids – whom you adored more than anything. You couldn’t see the cons of saying yes.  

“If it’s alright with you, I would love to take up the job.” You answered, looking down at your lap.

Sebastian smiled. “Think about it, I’m asking for a lot of your time. Will your boyfriend be okay with that?” he asked. It burnt his tongue to even say it out loud. He scoffed under his breath. He hadn’t ever met your boyfriend, only saw him once when he came to pick you up one night. Sebastian never talked to him or anything, but he still hated the guy more than anything.

He watched how your demeanor changed at the mention of your boyfriend. You seemed… sad. What the hell? You kept your eyes on your lap but to Sebastian it seemed like something was wrong. “Are you okay, Y/N?” he asked again, setting his glass down.

You chuckled sadly. “Yes,” you exhaled loudly, “Everything’s alright.” you still didn’t meet his eyes and Sebastian grew worried.

“Look at me,” he used his ‘mob boss voice’ and you had to obey, all while ignoring the unfamiliar chill dancing down your spine which was not unpleasant at all. “Something’s bothering you.” he pointed out in his no nonsense voice. “What is it?”

You shrugged. “I’m fine, Mr. Stan. It’s nothing.” You said. But Sebastian persisted. He shook his head and stared at you attentively right in the eyes.

“You’re not leaving this room until you tell me what’s bothering you.” he sounded authoritative but not pushy. And for some weird reasons, his voice reverberated through you and ended right where it shouldn’t – in between your legs.

You cleared your throat to try to make it seem like his intense stare and the lingering scent of his cologne weren’t making you weak in the knees. You chuckled again nervously out of habit. “I shouldn’t be discussing my personal problems with my employer, Mr. Stan.” You spoke politely, almost playfully.

Sebastian stood up, and walked around the table and sat down on the seat beside you – all while maintaining your stare. “Then let me be a friend.” he inched closer to you, leaning his body forward with his elbows on each one of his knees. “What is it? Tell me.” His voice was quiet, soft but still raw and manly. And if it’s that boyfriend of yours, I will kill him.

You found your voice again. “Uh, well I found out earlier this week that my boyfriend’s been cheating on me for a month now.” you looked up and smiled sadly at Sebastian. “But I just don’t have the courage or the energy to argue and confront and break up, it just… it seems like- I don’t know, I’m so sorry I shouldn’t be telling you all this, I-,”

Yup, definitely killing him.

He cut you off by leaning forward again and taking your hands from your lap and held them in his. His thumb gently stroked the back of your hand mindlessly as he stared at you. Surprisingly, you felt lighter after tell him.

Sebastian was surprised as well. Who in their right mind would treat you like this? He flashed back to earlier this week and you seemed perfectly fine. Maybe you suppressed your emotions and put on a façade for work but it still made him upset that he didn’t see it. He should’ve seen it.

“Hey,” he scooted to the edge of the seat just to be closer to you and a whiff of your perfume hit him right in the nose and he almost closed his eyes to relish it but that would be weird, so he got a grip on himself. “You don’t deserve to be treated like this. You should’ve dumped his ass the minute you found out, Y/N. I mean, why the hell are you still with him?” he sounded a little hyper.

You looked down to where your hands rested in his large, warm ones. “I don’t know. Relationships are complicated. I was scared, and worried. The thought of having to search for someone else, date them and trust them again, it seemed so… tiring.” You chuckled dryly again. “Besides, I doubt anyone would want to take me seriously.”

He noticed the sadness in your voice and he didn’t like it one bit. Not only was that asshole of a boyfriend of yours cheating on you, but he was also making you feel insecure about yourself. And Sebastian couldn’t hold it in anymore. You were so close, he could just lean in and kiss you. But he figured he should confess first.

“Take you seriously?” Sebastian shook his head, as if unable to believe what you were saying. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?” he asked, his eyes showing an emotion you couldn’t quite name.

“Sebastian… what?” you were confused. Heart racing at the proximity, your body on fire just because he held your hands, and your emotions were a mess. Just one thing made sense; him.

Sebastian looked down at your hands in his and then looked back up at you. “I can’t be in the same room as you for long. Know why? Because I’m not sure I can contain myself around you. You drive me crazy. You’ve stolen my heart since day one, and then you took over my entire being.”

He paused and let you process it all, then continued. “If you were mine I’d spend every single minute loving you and showing you just how much I need you.” he lowered his eyes again. “I thought I was dead inside, but then you walked into my life and I’ve never felt more alive. I can’t hide it anymore, Y/N, I’m aching to be with you. I need you.”

Your lips parted in surprise. His revelation left you speechless. A man like him wanting you was something you couldn’t wrap your head around. You stood up in surprise, he stood up as well, not letting go of your hand.

“You can leave if you’d like and never come back.” He said. “But I don’t want you to. I need you here with me, please.” He didn’t what he was pleading for. For you to stay? For you to give him a chance?

You thought back to all the times your body tingled or your heart fluttered each time he did something nice or each time he gave you a brief hug before you drove back home. Or how patient he was with the kids and how he was a perfect family man. Did you feel the same way this whole time?

“Sebastian… I- I don’t know what to say to you.” you voiced out your inner thoughts. You were scared that you might say the wrong thing and ruin everything.

He smiled softly at you, stepping closer. “Don’t say anything. Just let me show you.” he let go of your hand and cupped your face. “Can I kiss you?” he asked.

You found yourself nodding and inching closer. His hands grabbed your waist as he pressed his body into yours. And his eyes never left yours. He captured your lips in a deep kiss; pouring everything he felt for you into it. You held him close with your hands around his neck. His tongue slipped into your mouth slowly stroking the top of your mouth. He moaned into the kiss and deepened it.

Sebastian moved swiftly, he turned you around and pushed you onto the edge of the desk almost effortlessly. He broke the kiss and pulled away to look at you. Swollen lips and chest heaving, and a hunger in both your eyes.

He didn’t say anything, he leaned in to kiss you again and rested his hands on your thighs. He pushed your legs further apart and settled in between them as he kissed down your neck. His lips latched on the skin around your collar bones. He nibbled, kissed, and licked the skin as you moaned quietly in his ear. His lips slowly moved to the side of your throat, leaving dark red marks behind on your skin. Your hands roamed his muscular back as you pulled him closer. Nothing on your mind but just that you wanted Sebastian; and you wanted him bad.

He slipped his hand under the skirt of your dress, touching your skin with his warm hands as he traced imaginary shapes along your inner thighs; leaving goose bumps where his fingers made contact with your skin. He was close, or so close to your core and he could feel the heat radiating off of it. He moaned shamelessly into your mouth, making your body tremble against his.

“Fuck…” he swore as he pulled away to check if you were just a disheveled and needy as he was. He concluded that you were. “Can I touch you, sweetheart?” he asked, breathing heavily. You nodded quickly. Thinking he would push your underwear aside and finger you, you let out a little gasp of surprise when you felt him drag your underwear down your legs as he himself got on his knees in front of you.

He took off your underwear and threw it aside. Then kissed his way up your legs, leaving kisses along your thighs. His stubble rough against your soft skin. His lips were soft against you as he left marks all over the skin of your inner thighs. His wet mouth moved from your inner thighs to your core abruptly, catching you by surprise. He grabbed your right hip and hooked it over his shoulder; and there you were – completely at his mercy just like he had always fantasized about.

You moaned as his lips moved between your glistening folds, his tongue teasing your entrance, lips sucking on your clit. Your hands cradled his head in between your legs, you threw your head back and moaned as quietly as you could. He moaned against you, sending pleasurable vibrations all over your body. He secured your leg over his shoulder once more and he ate you out passionately, closing his eyes and savoring your taste. He made you forget every worry you ever had in the world.

Being here with him was all you could focus on. Sebastian’s tongue circled your clit lazily as he inserted two fingers into you and pumped them in and out of you rapidly. He felt your walls clench around his fingers and you moaned louder and louder with each stroke of his fingers against your walls. Your body throbbed at his touch, your desire burning.

“Cum for me, come on sweetheart.” He said, in a strained voice and you couldn’t contain the sweet pressure anymore so you let go and as you moaned out loud one last time before coming undone all over his tongue. He lapped up everything you had to offer. He spread your legs further apart as he shamelessly licked each and every drop of your cum as it spilled out of you. Finally, he let go of your legs and stood up again.

You were panting but you still pulled him in for a kiss. Tasting yourself on his lips gave you a rush, so powerful that you began lowering his sweatpants yourself, impatient to just have him in you already. Sebastian pulled away for a second. “You want this, right sweetheart?”

You nodded, unable to talk. And you leaned in for a kiss again. Oh you needed him in you badly and at once. Sebastian aided you in lowering down his pants and pulled you closer. Slowly, he slipped inside of you, groaning at how tight you were. You felt his length stretching you like no one ever did. You gasped and moaned as he filled you in.

He reached down to grab your legs again and wrapped them around his waist. He grunted as he started rocking in and out of you slowly, leaning down to give you a messy kiss. He smiled when you couldn’t help but moan into his mouth. He pulled away and gently pushed your body down on the table. Your back laid flat against the wooden table top and you whined at the feeling of his cock moving swiftly in and out of you. You could feel your walls gripping him and milking him as he pounded into you.

You moaned feeling all of him; stretching you, filling you up, moving rapidly in and out of you to the point where the only thing you could focus on was the pressure he caused around your lower abdomen.

“Fuck… You’ve been driving me crazy for so long, Y/N.” He whispered, pounding into you relentlessly, as he bent down to bite your lower lip and tug on it. You moaned at his words and upon hearing the wet, slapping sounds your bodies made when they came in contact with one another.

Your legs trembled as you wrapped them tighter around his waist. His thrust was relentless and unbearably good. You closed your eyes as you felt your walls clenching around him and the pressure around your lower body felt tight and hot. Sebastian looked down at you as you clenched around his cock.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Cum for me…” he whispered and that was honestly all you needed to hear before you came undone all around him. Whimpering and back arching off his desk, you came hard around his cock.

He panted as he kept pounding into you as your orgasm washed over you, your walls squeezing him violently. You mumbled his name over and over again as you came, body trembling under his intense gaze. He watched you in awe, lips parted, breaths in rags, heart racing. Oh he wasn’t done with you yet, he wanted more.

Sebastian managed to get you to the couch, he’d take you on every single furniture he owned if he could honestly. But for now, the couch will do. For now. He had you kneeling on the couch; hips and ass up while your hands gripped the cushions to steady yourself.

You couldn’t see him, but you knew he was there, behind you ready to pounce on you like an animal. His hand reached around and pulled your head back just a little. His lips hovered over the side of your throat as his hand reached around and toyed with your folds; his fingers rubbed around your clit and making you tremble and moan again.

You were a little sore from earlier, and you weren’t sure you would last very long this time. But he was seductively persuasive; he didn’t even have to say anything, just one touch from him was enough to make you burn with desire again. You were willing to just give into him and let him pleasure you.

“I thought that once I had you, I’d be tamed,” His voice was deep and low and gravelly when he whispered in your ear, his tongue licking along your neck while he abruptly stopped toying with your folds. “But now, I just want to be in you again and have you scream my name and cum around me again. And again. Don’t think I’ll ever get tired of it, sweetheart.”

His hand gripped your hair and tugged on it, harsher than earlier and his action earned a moan out of you. You whimpered, “I want you Sebastian, please.” You murmured, voice laced with need and lust wanting him to completely ruin you, he pulled back from your neck and kissed along your shoulders.

“Oh baby… I want you just as much.” He whispered, kissing your skin. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you. I’ll take care of you.”

He pushed you forward, making your ass stick out against him. He gripped each side of your hips, tightly. He pushed into you without a word said; earning a sinful moan out of you. He groaned and grunted as he filled you up entirely; your ass cheek pressing into his pelvic bone as he pounded into you, desperately trying to make you cum for the second time tonight.

You held on to the pillows tightly, and your mind felt foggy as your felt the familiar pressure forming again in no time. You were barely able to keep yourself up, and if it weren’t for his tight grip on you, you would’ve collapsed on the couch long ago.

He rammed his cock in and out of you incessantly while he fucked you into oblivion. You moaned wantonly, worn-out and still craving more and more of him. He took you higher…and higher and the sounds that came out of his mouth made your walls throb and clench around him each time he filled you up. You liked him here, snug inside you. Thick and pulsating against your walls; stretching you out just like before.

With a few more strokes of his thick cock, you felt his thrust becoming irregular, and felt his cock throb against your walls violently. You tightened around him, and he groaned and growled as he came; buried deep within you – grunting swearing under his breath. His warm cum shoot at your walls and you trembled again as he filled you up with his load.

Moments later, you found yourself lying on his damp chest, listening to his heartbeats as he ran a hand down your back, calming you down. You had your arms wrapped around him lazily. The only sound you could hear were his heartbeats and the sound of your breathing.

You didn’t feel an ounce of awkwardness or shame as you laid in the arms of the man you worked for. And neither did he regret doing what he did. It was comfortable, being in each other’s arms. Sebastian spoke up first, breaking the silence.

“So are you going to break up with what’s his name or should I be the one to break the news to him by beating the living shit out of him?” he asked, making you giggle.

His tough and broody nature was one of the major reasons why you found him attractive. Everyone loves a rebel, broody man with bad boy charm. You laughed and lifted your head up from his chest and found him smiling down at you.

“There’s no need. He’s not worth your time. I’ll call him, tonight itself.” You spoke and he reached out to caress your face softly.

“Make that tomorrow morning. You’re sleeping over tonight.” he announced and you chuckled.

“Yeah? Says who?” you teased.

“Your boyfriend, and your boss.” He answered like it was no big deal.

You gasped playfully. “Boyfriend? Oh my! When did we establish that?”

He smirked. “When you were screaming my name while I was deep inside you just a minute ago.” His answer made you blush and hide your face in his chest. He laughed.

“Look who’s shy now!” he teased you and you groaned, trying to hide your face further. “Hey, look at me sweetheart.” he said and you looked up, face burning a little. “Be mine.”

As you looked into his eyes you realized something; that you’ve never felt this peaceful, this comfortable or this warm with your cheating ass boyfriend. But you felt it with Sebastian. You had been in a relationship for quite a few months now, but you’ve never felt any of the emotions you felt in the past hour in that relationship.

Here with Sebastian, you felt a sense of belonging. It resembled that feeling of when you’re on your way home from a party late at night and then finally climb up the stairs which lead you to your front door. It felt like coming home after a long day.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked again, seeing you weren’t saying a word.

You shook your head, a wave of emotions just hitting you right in the face. “Nothing. I like you, a lot. Just… we’re not moving too fast, right?”

He smiled. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve been ready for this since the day I met you.” he said again, making you smile. “Stay over tonight, it’s late already. As from tomorrow, we’ll take it at any pace you prefer.” He spoke, surprisingly with how understanding he sounded. “Besides, you’re welcome to use the guest room. But I would prefer you sleep in my bed. Because I mean, now that you’ll be my new PA, and watching with the kids and after I make love you to for hours after I get home every day, you’d most probably be too tired to drive back home. I mean, if it were up to me, I’d move you in with me right now and we c-,”

You cut him off with a kiss. He smiled and kissed you back. He knew he was being a little ridiculous but he had been waiting for you to show him some affection for too long and he was more than happy that he finally had you now. “Let’s take it a little slower than that, okay?”

“Okay. I just… I don’t want to let you go.” He tightened his grip around you, like a kid holding on to his favorite blanket.

“I’m not going anywhere.” You smiled and kissed his chest.

  Turns out, being with him was not dangerous or risqué, or illicit at all; it was beautiful.

[lilacmeadows]

Made For You pt. 2

Omg you guys thank you so much for all the support! Part 1 was my first fic and you guys were so sweet. I had to get started on part 2 right away. If you want to be on my taglist, just let me know! This is just leading up to the next few chapters that’s just gonna be FILTHY. I needed a bit of backstory to be satisfied, but now that the boring part is out of the way, I’m gonna go research other names for genitals. Hope you enjoy! -Savvy

BUCKY X READER

Summary: Hydra had just finished training you to be the Winter Soldier’s perfect mate when the Avengers saved him. But what’s going to happen to you now that Hydra has deleted your old life and left you with nothing but a soldier that needs to learn to love himself before he can love someone else.

Part 1    Part 2     Part 3

WARNINGS: explicit sexual content, explicit language, underage reader (nothing sexual happens underage), stockholm syndrome, mentions of family death, eventual dom/sub dynamics, mentions of captivity and kidnapping. violence- guns, mutual pining, eventual smut, fluff, angst if you squint (must be 18+)

WORD COUNT:  2.9k

“Make the Soldat happy. He is my mission.” 

When she was first taken, of course she was scared. She didn’t know why, where she was going, if she’d be rescued. It was a painful adjustment, and some days it was as if the tears would never stop. It’s not like she was worth anything to anyone who mattered, her family wasn’t rich. Just her mom and brother. They lived a happy and normal life. 

She’d guess it didn’t really matter. At the age of 10, y/n was old enough to understand basic concepts, carry a conversation with adults, and she had strict teachers in school, so she knew how to behave. 

What she didn’t know was how to be a wife. Or a ‘life-partner’. None of the Men would ever call her a future ‘wife’. She was training to be a mate. Someone the Soldat could own and connect with so he didn’t fly off the rails if things got out of control. If he got out of their control. Every morning, a watcher would wake her up at 8AM so she could stretch, eat, and meditate. By 10AM, her first trainer of the day would come in and teach her the schooling she was missing. Just basic math and reading, a little German, and a little Russian. Not enough for her to eavesdrop on their plans, but enough to understand her Soldat if he didn’t feel like speaking English. 

At 1PM, another trainer would come and bring her to the small kitchenette down the hall. They had no intention of domesticating the ‘couple’, but she was learning to be a woman- of course the Men would have her start in the kitchen. She would learn very simple meals that could feed a fully grown man, and usually had something light for lunch herself. The men brought her the other 2 meals a day. At 3PM she would have lessons on ‘Womanhood’. At least that’s what she called it. A trainer would come in and teach her a never-ending list of rules that she had to follow in order to be a ‘lady’. It reminded her of an old Barbie movie she would watch when she was little. There was a song called ‘To Be a Princess’, where a poor girl learned how to act proper. Once she started seeing herself as that princess, the days got a little easier. Some days, they would go over how to sit and lie down like a lady. Others, they would walk laps around the halls open to her, reviewing how to walk on the balls of her feet. She learned to talk in short sentences with excellent manners, and how to brush her hair, so she could look more presentable for her Soldat. 

Over the years of compliance, the trainers softened on her just as the watchers had. Of course, they were still horrible people, but they knew she was a kind girl at heart and wouldn’t cause trouble. Some days, she would be made to sit perfectly still with a stack of books on her head, while her trainer would tell her something silly happening outside the walls of the building that became her home. She learned little bits of information about their lives, music, art. But never anything political or having to do with who the Men even worked for. That was strictly forbidden. They would let her color in her free time. Sometimes a watcher would bring a book from his home for her to read, and when she was old enough, she was given a few colors of yarn and started knitting sweaters and scarves on plastic needles. She didn’t have a clock, but she would learn by the rotating shifts of her watchers what time of day it was.

There were children whose lives sucked more than hers. And for that, she was grateful.

When she got older (let’s say 18), the training started to change. She never knew what day it was, or even what year. She had stopped keeping track so long ago, but the changes were made gradually. She would be made to read books on intimacy, and then watch videos of men brutally ravishing ladies about her size. She had to learn what to do to please her Soldat, without being taught physically. This made her happy. The thought of any of the watchers or trainers doing that to her made her sick. And everyone thought it was in her best interest to be completely innocent to the touch of a man when she has her first encounter with the Soldat.

Which turned out exactly as planned. But on the day Steve and Sam plucked her out of her bedroom, she was not expecting the Soldat to be sitting right in front of her. In all his glory.

The quinjet was eerily silent for all of seven seconds before Clint had the audacity to continue the conversation he started.

“You make the soldier happy?” was the best the shocked man could come up with.

“I haven’t met him yet, but I’m ready. They made me ready for him.” y/n said with bright, hopeful eyes. Her words flowed so easily, they sounded rehearsed.

“Do we tell her?” Tony asked Steve, who was getting greener by the second. He couldn’t believe he just got his best friend back, not two weeks ago, and now he has to worry about a girl who’s obsessed with said best friend.

“I don’t think we really have a choice.” Steve replied, taking a deep breath. The whole quinjet looked like they were holding their breath. y/n still didn’t know the names of the three men on the opposite side of the quinjet. Two of them standing together, pausing their conversation, and the brooding man, who everyone keeps looking at.

“y/n, meet Bucky.” Steve said, pointing at the man across from her. But ‘Bucky’ went completely over her head- the name being unfamiliar to her.

“Hello, sir. Pleased to meet you.” She said, offering a genuine smile, but clearly not picking up what Steve was putting down. Clint chimed in again, wanting to be out of his confused misery.

“Wait a second. Y/n. You mean the soldier, as in the Winter Soldier?” Y/n immediately nodded at hearing that name. She knew her Soldat went by that name. “As in that guy right there?” 

Her eyes went wide at the realization. He was sitting right in front of her. Staring at her since the minute she stepped onto the plane. And he was gorgeous. Long hair, thick thighs, piercing blue eyes, and a jaw that could probably cut glass. But he looked upset. Pissed really, and that scared her. She had one job: Make the Soldat happy. And there she was, barely presentable. She hadn’t even addressed him properly, how she was taught. With all the eyes on her, she felt a blush rush through her whole body at the embarrassing thought. But she had to. He wouldn’t like her if she didn’t follow the rules she grew up with.

Y/n daintily stood up and walked until she was right in front of Bucky. He held her eye contact the entire way, still not having said one word during this whole exchange. She gently knelt down until she was on her knees in front of him. 

“I hope I can make you happy, my Soldat. I am a gift from the Men who take care of us, and I am entirely yours.” Bucky’s jaw twitched. He hadn’t said anything this whole time, but his mind was moving at lightning speed. He watched this gorgeous, barely dressed girl sit across from him, and was already in awe. But then that girl got on her knees and declared her loyalty to him? In front of everyone he knows? He couldn’t lie to himself, he’d never been more turned on. But everything about this was wrong. She was just a Stockholm Syndrome’d girl who wanted to follow orders. But her orders were to make him happy. He finally broke eye contact with her to see Tony’s shocked face looking over at Bruce and Thor, to make sure he’s not hallucinating this. 

“Y/n, you should stand up.” He said to her in a hushed tone. Probably harsher than he meant to. He could see her visibly take a breath at the sound of his voice, his eyes followed the gentle slope of her neck down to her breast. She dreamed for years about what his voice would sound like, and it just rolled over her. But she quickly obeyed and stood in front of his seat. He expected her to say something else, but she was silent then. Her previous outburst was one of the few exceptions to her ‘only talk when spoken to’ rule. “What do you want? Where is your family so we can take you home?” He asked her. She could feel the tears well up in her eyes. He didn’t want her was all she could assume. She was made for him, so why was he turning her away?

“I want to make you happy, sir. It’s all I want. Please let me be good for you. I promise, I’ll be so good for you.” Begging was familiar to her from her studies. She didn’t expect to be begging for her to be able to please him, but she would do whatever it took to get him to keep her.

“No. Y/n. This isn’t right. You were being kept there, whatever Hydra told you to do is over. You’re free now.” The tears flowed freely down her cheeks and it broke his heart. She tried to cover her face with her hands. He didn’t want to see her cry, nor did he want to turn her away, but he also couldn’t just let her be his sex slave. It wasn’t right. 

“Please don’t be sad. This is for the best-” He tried to reason with her, but when he took her hand off her face so she would look at him, the contact only made her sob harder. This was all she wanted. 

“Buck, I think we should just let her sit for a minute. Can you grab her some water? Tony and I will try to figure out where she was from.” Steve said to Bucky- trying to end this painful and awkward situation. Bucky stood and walked to another area of the quinjet. He was grateful to be able to use this time to think.

“Y/n, we’re gonna need your help to get you home okay. What’s your last name? How old are you?” 

“Y/L/N” And then she went quiet. It never occurred to her that she didn’t know how old she was. Of course, she remembered her birthday, but she couldn’t tell the weeks and months apart, so she hadn’t celebrated it since she turned 10 in 2006. “What year is it?”

“When did they take you?” Steve asked gently. Being a man from another time, he could remember well the day he woke up in 2011 when it was supposed to be 1944. He knew how jarring it was to discover all the time that’s been lost, and wanted to spare her that grief.

“2006. I was 10.” She looked at him, and she could tell it’s not just 2008 by the look on his face. She knew her body went through changes over her time with the Men, but between the ‘dietary supplements’ they gave her, and the fact that she wasn’t looking in a mirror- much less shopping for clothes- she didn’t realize she had fully completed puberty. 

“Y/n, it’s 2016. You’re 20 now.” And that made the tears come harder. But she wasn’t so upset about the 10 years of her life. She was mad at 20 years of her life wasted. Since Bucky didn’t want her, all of the training was for nothing. She knew living for him made her the definition of a broken person- she wasn’t dumb. The idea of her Soldat was what grounded her all that time. When she was lonely, she’d think about the man the Men always tell her about. They told her how he was their ‘greatest asset’. And she often fantasized about if he would fall in love with her. So by the time she met him, she had already been in love with him for much longer than she’d care to admit- which makes the heartbreak of rejection hurt that much more.

Unfortunately for Bucky, his heart was heavy too. He tucked away into the tiny bed area on the jet after quickly handing Steve the water to give to y/n. It was too much. Being in that room with her, she looked at him like he hung the moon. But he most certainly had not. He was a murderer. Tony’s father was a scientist during the war, and Bucky knew him pretty well through Steve. And he killed him. He had scattered memories of hurting dozens of people, so why would she be so willing to be with someone like him?

Part of him wanted it. After almost a century of not owning anything and not having a choice, he was given the opportunity to have something that belonged only to him. A gift from the men who take care of us. If it wasn’t cruel, he would have laughed in her face. Maybe she was taken care of, but he most certainly wasn’t. She was brought in young enough to still be under the impression that Hydra wasn’t evil, just strict. He imagined for a minute how things could have turned out for the two of them if he hadn’t gotten free. If Hydra really was planning on giving him a gift. He didn’t like the last gift they gave him in the shape of an arm, but y/n was perfect. She was the perfect size for him- although his broad frame could dwarf most women. And her smile pulled at his heart.

He wanted to kiss her the minute he saw her. He knew he wanted to make her his.

And that was bad.

He rubbed his hand over his face and decided to rejoin the group in the middle of their conversation. Thor and Bruce decided to stop being passive members of the conversation and introduced themselves. Y/n was very confused at Thor’s proclamation as ‘God of Thunder’, but with all that was happening, she didn’t feel it was her place to question it.

“- a good thing we have spare rooms at the compound. You can stay as long as you like.” Tony finished speaking to y/n just as Bucky was walking into the room. “We’re gonna have a new house guest MC.” He waggled his eyebrows at the man who caught the back half of that conversation.

Bucky’s jaw dropped. This would only make the situation much harder than it needed to be. He looked to Steve for an explanation. The blond stood up and made his way over to Bucky.

“Look, Hydra scrubbed her records off of every database and-” He took a deep sigh, “Her family is dead, Buck. They probably killed them after they took her.” 

Then it was Bucky’s turn to sigh. He knew the right thing to do was to help her, but he also knew how much he wanted to feel her soft skin in his hands. And that made her dangerous to be around. 

What nobody knew was why Hydra took the 10 year old from Georgia. In 2006, the Winter Soldier was sent on a mission to kill a scientist that lived there. Of course the poor guy didn’t have a chance when the Soldier was sitting in his house, waiting for him when he got home, but what the Soldier wasn’t expecting was a little girl to be coming inside with him. The scientist looked sleazy and didn’t have any children, so who knows what would have happened to her if the Soldier didn’t get there in time. She screamed and cried. The comm in his ear commanded him to kill the girl for being a witness. But the part of the Soldier that was still Bucky wanted her to be safe. He shushed the little girl and asked her for her address. When she recited it to him, he rubbed her head and told her she was a good girl, before he dug his metal fingers into the child’s pressure points and she fell limp into his arms. y/n woke up in her bed, crying at the bad dream she must have had- her mother not even home yet. That was the first act of defiance Hydra ever experienced from the Winter Soldier. First sign of humanity and compassion. They knew if the mind control was getting weaker, he would be harder to control next time they unfroze him, but his protective nature of the girl would make her an asset to them.

Her capture was arranged before his heart was fully frozen in the chamber. Neither Bucky nor y/n remembered this- Bucky only remembering parts of his time under their control, and y/n never thinking about that bad dream again, but the connection was still there as strong as it was that day 10 years ago.

Part 3

[matthewbeilschmidts]

It’s been a long while since I’ve posted but I’m so glad that I am :’)

This is for Day 1: of @prucanweek - Ordinary

Apologies for spelling errors, it’s a little short but I hope you enjoy 😭💞

-

Matthew doesn’t mind that he’s living an ordinary life. Really.

He grows up near the coast, two parents, a fraternal twin brother, and their gangly hairless cat, Tony (picked curtesy of Alfred). Their parents take them everywhere they can during their childhood, the beach, museums, sports game. They focus on their interests, figuring out what the two like and dislike, as they encourage them both to be themselves and do what they love no matter what. Alfred debates between whether he likes wrestling or football more, while Matthew settles into hockey. In between family get togethers, community festivals, and endless sports training, they somehow have time for homework. (The two share answers a lot.)

He and Alfred each have their own rooms when they enter their teen years, a space to decorate and fill with their own mementos and awards. The sports continue, but later their parents find themselves a little bit busier than before. They do though, give them as much time as they can during the school year, never wanting them to go without someone by their side.

Matthew fades into the background a little bit as they get older, while Alfred puts himself front and center. Matthew watches once with a hand over his eyes as Alfred auditions for the school musical, and surprisingly he read and sings the lines well. “It’s always the rowdy ones!” their theater teachers says after he’s finished performing, a mix of anticipation from planning on putting Alfred on stage and dread at the thought of having to manage him.

Matthew silently supports him, after all he has his own things to do.

He’s the co-caption of the hockey team, the coach giving him the position to give him a little more of a voice, and his teammates verbally agree, considering on the ice Matthew has a lot more to show than he does in person. He accepts, albeit hesitantly.

By the time graduation comes by, Matthew can barely believe how the time has passed. His team even wins a championship under his watch. Some of his fellow classmates look so ready to go out and experience the world, and it’s scary to him because weren’t they all going at the same pace?

His parents talk him through picking his college of choice, and he decides to go. He needs to do what everyone does and experience the world.

And if he decides he wants to come home, that’s okay because at least he tries.

-

He’s in his first art class during his third year at university. The time has been going well, he’s got pretty decent grades and has managed to join a few clubs. But he’s not done yet. Extra curriculars, can’t finish without them. He prioritizes his general education first, and even slips himself into a few major classes early on, but humanities is on record now and has to be completed no matter what one’s studying.

He can get through one semester, he hopes.

Next to him, a student is snickering and the professor doesn’t look amused.

“Gilbert.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“If you’re done, I can introduce myself now.”

The professor goes in with complete, in-depth introductory slides with her name and credentials, and a briefing of all they will overcome this semester.

He’s never been an artist, at least not one that picks up a pencil and creates a realistic masterpiece with nothing but that and a pad of paper. Maybe some poetry contests in high school, if that counts. The written word has its own impact, its own set of colors to breathe out for the world to see.

There’s another snicker, interrupting his internal monologue.

He doesn’t say anything, because he doesn’t know the student, and it’s not his place to control others. But, if it starts to hinder the class, maybe he’ll tell him something. He’s paying to be there, too.

The man catches him staring.

“Yes?” he asks Matthew without being spoken to in the first place.

“Oh,” Matthew flushes at being caught, not that he was trying to hide it anyway. “Well, she didn’t say anything funny?”

The guys waves a hand, making a ��psssh” noise as he does.

“I’m just laughing because of how formal this all is. She won’t be this dignified later in the semester that’s for sure. She’ll be ripping her hair out.”

Matthew glances back, he doesn’t want to say anyone looks mean but, he would believe it if she was.

“You look scared,” the guy laughs, which is rude because isn’t he the one that just put the thought in Matthew’s mind? “She’s not too mean just a sticker to the rules. Will get real pissy if something doesn’t go right.”

“And you still set her off knowing that?”

The man laughs again, but this time around he’s actually trying to contain it behind the thin art easel. He’s not very hidden.

“She’s my cousin’s wife.”

Ah, that makes sense then? Messing with family is normal, but also he shouldn’t be bothering her at work.

“It’s no wonder you seemed casual.”

“She taught both of the lower division figure drawing classes, too. This is my third semester in her class. She’s the only one teaching this specific class I didn’t have too much of a choice.”

“Art major?”

“Yep! And you?”

“Psychology major. I have to get in some cultural classes.”

“Ever taken art?”

“Actually no, not even in high school. I got through that stuff by working backstage in the theater department.”

“Well not to worry my friend, because you picked the best one.”

“Is it easy to pass?”

“Nope. Well, maybe if she likes your work,” Matthew deflates at the blunt response, “but don’t worry because I’m here to be your guide.”

Matthew perks up, but it takes him a moment. This guy’s gonna help him?

“Are you any good?”

“Am I good?” He looks perplexed Matthew would even ask. Matthew has to cover his own amusement. “I may not look it but charcoal and I go way back. I’ll show you my work later as proof.”

“Deal.”

“Gilbert, since you’re adamant on talking, you can be the first to introduce yourself.”

Even if his name wasn’t said, Matthew feels just as guilty. Caught, for talking on the first day of all things.

“Gilbert Beilshcmidt. Fourth year. I’m an art major and my favorite breakfast food is pancakes.”

Matthew looks surprised that he was paying attention, even to the last addition of their introduction. Matthew’s not sure he would have known considering he was distracted.

-

And so their friendship starts.

-

Gilbert sits next to him again. And again.

Where ever Matthew sits in the art room, Gilbert follows not too long after.

Some days they take the sitting desks, some they stand and lean against the stools.

And despite not even talking much, Gilbert treats him like a friend.

-

“Do you have any plans this afternoon?”

“Nope, this was my last class.”

“Do you want to get some coffee and work on our sketch books.”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

-

Matthew finds himself meeting Gilbert in his downtime. Every Thursday after drawing for three hours becomes the day they meet. At first, all they do is draw, little more.

Gilbert is animated in all moments, but he has short spurts where he focuses exceptionally on his work. Matthew is no art critic, but he thinks Gilbert expresses himself quite well on paper. Graphite, charcoal, and pastels, all the utensils glide easily without a single stroke missing its mark.

Watercolor though, could use some work, which actually happens to be Matthew’s favorite. Even if the intention is to guide the colors with a brush, it’s okay for them to take a life of their own spreading across the thick paper.

They share snacks, art supplies, and their time.

Gilbert proves himself very useful as he promised. Matthew though never planning to be the next Van Gogh, has to pass this class. And it would be nice to pass it with flying colors, but some concepts are harder to grasp than others.

It’s obvious to tell he’s a beginner, while Gilbert excels. Matthew finds out he only now needs the intro class since it’s the first semester it became a requirement.

Gilbert helps him find the shapes he’s comfortable with, explains the processing for hatching and how it relates to shading. And while he’s no expert, he sees a subtle improvement over the next few weeks that makes some pride swell within himself.

-

“Do you want to come with me and my friends to this cool bar for dinner on Friday?” Gilbert asks about a month into the semester.

It’s the first time Gilbert and him will have spent time off campus.

“Yeah, I’d love to.”

-

Gilbert’s friends are just as animated as he, it’s almost hard to keep up. Overwhelming as they are, they’re extremely welcoming. Matthew eases into the atmosphere, joining in when he can but mostly pleased to be out and doing something different.

He’s made friends during his time, but like him they’re a little more reserved and pick quieter places on the town.

It’s fun. And he wants to go out again.

Matthew invites Gilbert and his friends to watch his next hockey game.

After their shock in finding out he plays such a violent sport, they’re all agreeing and planning to find the best seats in the arena.

-

“Are you serious. Are you hiding muscles under that red sweater?”

Gilbert pokes at him, it tickles when he gets closer to his biceps, but he knows he’s only teasing.

“You think I’m playing but I’m serious! You should have been there, well you were there. On the stands, I mean. We all screamed after you sent that player flying against the wall.”

Gilbert recreates the motions, but only slams himself into the wall and whines after he bounces back. He then plays it off like it doesn’t hurt. Gilbert’s not a very good actor.

People tell him it’s so much different watching him on the ice, but it’s still him. He’s always wondered how much different, he feels like himself. He just knows he goes into the zone when he’s in his gear. He just wants to win. And he will.

“It’s like night day,” Gilbert continues. “You were ready to kill a man down there.”

“You’re not the first to say that. I guess maybe, I could be a little more out there in real life, huh?”

Gilbert stops walking.

“Nope.”

“Nope?”

“You’re perfectly fine the way you are. I like the way you are, so don’t go change. I don’t want to be at risk of dying during art class.”

And as silly as it sounds, he’s pleased. He likes Gilbert a whole lot, too. Just the way he is.

-

“Do you want to have dinner with me?” Matthew takes the initiative.

“Dinner?”

“Yeah, just you and me. I want to take you out.”

“Like you did to that guy on the court,” Gilbert laughs nervously.

“On a date. Gilbert, would you like go out with me?”

He says yes.

Later that evening when he’s heading home, Gilbert starts running through the courtyard cheering that “I have a date with the cutest guy I’ve ever met!”

Matthew’s window is open, he’s face is bright red and he slams head first into his pillow. He needs to plan the best first date ever.

-

Three months into dating, he’s finally heading home again for a school break. He wants to take Gilbert with him, who is waiting for the next major holiday to go back home. But isn’t it too soon? They haven’t been dating that long, after all.

But Gilbert surprises him, and jokingly says he wants to go with him because he’ll miss him too much while he’s gone. And then, Matthew asks if he seriously wants to go.

“I do.”

So they ride the 3 hours train down to Matthew’s childhood home. He’s a little bit nervous, because he’s had dates to school dances, and brought friends over, but this is entirely different. This is someone he wants to take a serious step with, even if the time hasn’t been that long. They’ll never get anywhere if they don’t, so they’ll both take the leap and pray it works out.

“Mom, dad, Alfred, this is Gilbert.”

It’s the most timid Matthew’s ever seen him.

“Nice to meet ya, I’m Matthew’s boyfriend.”

After he shakes all their hands, he takes his hand back to link pinkies with Matthew.

There’s not an once of regret in his mind as the long weekend passes.

-

Gilbert graduates the next year, and the year after it’s his turn. They’re going to move in with each other. Gilbert really has no irresistible urge to go back to his home town, satisfied with just visiting a few times a year. And Matthew thinks he would like to go back closer, just to figure out his next move. So, they go together.

It’s only a one bedroom, but is more than enough space for them both. Gilbert finds work as a docent while Matthew works for a second degree in education.

He still plays hockey for a local league, Gilbert becoming their number one fan. They find their own rhythm, a pace that works for them both, where they can settle down or speed up when they agree with each other. Dewey mornings, warm summers, chilly evenings they spend them altogether.

They decide move up North closer to Gilbert’s hometown. Matthew’s more nervous meeting his grandparents than he was introducing Gilbert to his own family, but Gilbert assures him again and again they’re just a stuffy old family who actually really care about each other a lot more than they let off.

Gilbert’s grandfather towers over him, despite being a hair above 6 feet. He’s silent, eyes boring into Matthew as he introduces himself. And to end all of Matthew’s worries, the elder man pulls Matthew into a hug and tells him he’s glad him and Gilbert are home. Gilbert, just as perplexed as he, stares, but he melts into a pleased laugh.

Yeah, this is his and Gilbert’s home now.

-

They stay, for a long while, contemplate moving a few times, but they’re satisfied for now.

Gilbert and him always make time for each other, continue their own respective interests with complete support of the other. They’re never afraid to complain, because they always work through it rather then let it simmer.

Gilbert’s vivacious spirit keep them going, and Matthew’s heart keeps them grounded.

His life at first seem a little bit ordinary, but how can he complain when the pieces of the puzzle fit themselves in and stayed locked in tight.

[realcube]

rq; could you possibly write a one shot about the reader having AD(H)D and has a really hard time focusing on core academics (math, science, english, history) because they feel scared about stimming and/or fidgeting in front of people and so they ask tamaki for help?

tw; very mild angst, fluff, stimming, i use the word ‘embrassing’ too much, swearing

words; 2.7k

it only took a moment of skimming over your latest progress report for you to understand the situation.

you continued to thrive in practical subjects like physical education, graphic design and manufacturing — the three main reasons you managed to secure your spot in the support course — but your core subjects seemed to be lacking.

for the last two years, you managed to score flying colours in all your subjects. but now, it was starting to appear as though your golden era was coming to a close. what was once a report with only scores greater than 90%, was now a range of totals anywhere from 90 to 50%.

this meant you were still passing all of your classes but these grades were only indications of how you were doing now; you knew that if you continued to struggle in all of your core courses, you might not finish your third year of UA highschool.

you simply wouldn't allow for your grades to decline further, so like any good student would, you made a list of ways you could improve.

number one was, of course, study more. however, you were almost certain that discipline and diligence aren't the causes of the issue.

number two was to ask for help from your teacher and although this was a completely valid option, you still felt like the problem ran deeper than your ability to comprehend the material. after all, you had made it this far without having to do so.

before you could even ponder number three, your pen ran out of ink. with a huff, you reach out to grab a new one from your pencil case, until you noticed that in the spot where your pencil case usually sits on your desk, there was nothing.

it was as though the void had caused all your memories of yesterday to come crashing down on you in an instant; it was almost nauseating. yet it, ironically, provided some clarity as to the location of your stationary.

two days ago, after school, you paid a visit to tamaki's house to deliver the gear he had commissioned. however, what was initially meant to be a casual interaction, somehow turned into a game of pictionary (with mirio and nejire there too, of course), for which you needed to bring your pencil case out of your bag. amidst your awkward goodbyes, you must've forgotten to put it back into your bag, hence your pencil case is probably lying dejected on tamaki's coffee table.

this left you with no choice but to throw on your jacket and begin your journey to tamaki's house. fortunately, he only lived a bus ride away from your home, yet you still mentally rebuked yourself for the whole length of aforementioned bus ride due to the fact that every time you would interact with tamaki, it felt like you were digging a deeper grave for yourself.

partially because you always found yourself oversharing with him — not that it was a one-sided ordeal — and you couldn't begin to explain why; he kinda just had a comforting aura about him. albeit you haven’t said anything embarrassing yet but the possibility of that happening was way too large. plus taking into consideration your complicated feelings for each other, leaving your pencil case at his house was a disaster waiting to occur.

or perhaps you were overthinking it. either way, you were now standing in front of his door with your school uniform and backpack on during a saturday afternoon because you had no idea what else to wear.

after ringing the doorbell, you stood as a patient statue in the cold until tamaki reluctantly opened the door and only poked his head out. “hello?”

emphasis on ‘only’, because he was truly committed to not allowing you to see him in his casual-wear, for some reason. a part of him reasoned that there was no way you would expect him to be wearing his school uniform on a saturday, but the majority of his brain was screaming about how he had to hide his clothes from you at all costs. especially since he was wearing socks, comfy trackpants and — most shamefully — a sweater with a small octopus design on it. and what would you think of him if you saw that his choice in loungewear was so childish?! it would be utterly humiliating.

completely unaware that tamaki was having a crisis behind the door, you pulled your most authentic smile and said the line you had been rehearing on the bus, “hi, tamaki. sorry for coming unannounced, but i think i left my pencil case on your coffee table when we were playing pictionary with mirio and nejire.”

“oh.” tamaki was almost too panicked to process what you just said but once he did, he immediately recalled the moment he noticed that you had left behind your pencil case. at the time, he planned on calling you to ask if he could drop it off at your house, but his nerves got the better of him and he decided to keep procrastinating the call until he completely forgot.

though, if he remembered correctly, the pencil case should be lying on his desk after he moved it there in hopes that the convenient location would remind him to return it; which it evidently did not.

“yeah. uh, i’ve got it. i’ll just go get it.” his face tingled with warmth slightly as he retracted it from the doorway, resulting in him finally realising how cold it is outside. in fact, since the eaves of his house shielded you for the climate, he didn’t even notice that it was snowing!

the polite bone in him got to work before the rest of him could react, as he blurted out, “come in, make yourself at home.”

fuck! i mean, it’s not that he doesn’t want you in his house — quite the opposite actually — but rather now he had to dart off to his bedroom before you could catch a glimpse of his sweater. but at least now this gave him an opportunity to change into something less embarrassing.

closing the door behind you, you were now left alone in tamaki’s living room. your eyes followed his figure as he dashed towards his bedroom, “odd.” you murmured to yourself. you weren’t exactly tamaki’s BFF but you were close enough to him that you could tell when he was acting weird.

but you didn’t think to much of it. actually, you were slightly grateful for this weird spike in tamaki’s behaviour because if he doesn’t want you around, that just means you are less likely to overshare and catch feelings, which means better outcomes in the long run, right?

after changing into a plain blue sweater and collecting your pencil case, tamaki strolled into the living room and handed it to you with a weak smile, “here you go.” he almost whispered, patiently waiting for your response so he could mentally prepare himself for goodbyes or another hour (or so) of conversation.

“thank you!” you basically squealed, pulling off your bag to stuff your pencil case back inside. while adjusting the straps on your shoulders, you took a moment to appreciate tamaki’s familiar attire, “oh, i love your sweater; i have a similar one with a cute little octopus on it.”

tamaki concluded that neither of you would be saying goodbye for a long while.

“thank you.” he responded with a soft smile, folding his arms over his chest as he made his way towards the kitchen, “um, so how are you?” he inquired, assuming that it was a pretty harmless question that would simply help get the conversation off the ground while he prepared tea.

“i’m good. but i don’t think i can say the same for my progress report.” you said with an awkward chuckle, standing aside as you watched tamaki put the kettle on. “and how are y--”

“what do you mean?” tamaki asked, disregarding the fact that he didn’t answer the question himself. although, simply put, this was because he found that conversation came more naturally to him when he was with you; or perhaps that is a slight overstatement. he tended to be more curious and inquisitive when talking to you and it wasn’t hard to tell.

until now you and mirio simply brushed it off as tamaki’s interest towards the support course, since you were the one who manufactured most of his gear. yet nejire always teased him as she believed that tamaki’s interest was caused by a different sort of passion.

nevertheless, regardless of tamaki’s motives, you still found yourself consistently answering his questions, “eh, well, i’ve just not been performing as well as i hoped.” you replied plainly with a shrug.

“is that all?”

no matter how many questions he asked, each one still managed to catch you off-guard. “um,” your throat ran dry, which might’ve been a sign from a deity to stop talking, but your swallowing was your way of proving that you did not care. although you will probably regret it later, talking with tamaki always relieved you.

“well,” you started, the lump in your throat growing by the second, “i guess i have a bit of trouble focussing in some classes too. but i mean, maybe it is because i drink too much caffeine? i’m not even sure to be honest.” that was lie, you were  90% sure of what the problem was, but you wanted to hear tamaki’s response before you proceeded, to determine whether he’d be open-minded about it.

“there is no such thing as too much caffeine.” he joked, handing you a cup of tea while he sipped on his own. “so it’s probably something else.”

he’s too good. it’s as if he knew you were withholding information.

“well,” you began once more, trying your best to appear clueless, “i guess moving helps me focus, but no once else in the class does it so wouldn’t it be embarrassing if i was the only one?”

“i don’t think it would be embarrassing at all.” he spoke softly, leading you back into the living room and offer you a seat on the couch beside him, which you graciously accepted. “but if you think it is, then i have something to help.”

before you could say anything, tamaki got up and headed towards his bedroom; leaving you to drink his heavenly tea while he searched. though, only a few minutes passed before you felt his arms slither over your shoulders to hook two clips together by your neck.

“there.” he said with a proud smile, “this is one of my cloaks that i use in my hero costume. you can tie it together so it covers the whole front half of your body.”

observing your reflection in the blackened TV, you smiled upon seeing for your own eyes that everything he said was true. it was like wearing a cape that goes around your whole body, and it had a nice hood! “wow, this is so adorable!” you cheered, then paused, “but how is it going to help me focus?”

“well, you can do whatever you want underneath it and no one will notice.”

ignoring the shady implications of that sentence, you moved your hand around underneath the cloak and he was right! no one would see you fidgeting underneath the cloak, and hopefully the professor’s voice would cover any sounds you made. plus, it looked pretty badass.

“this might work! are cloaks included in dress-code?” you joked, but you weren’t laughing for long as you turned to look at tamaki who was wearing an upset expression with his head hung low, “no.”

“oh.” you sighed, unclipping the cloak and handing it back to tamaki with a slight smile, “it’s fine. thank you for your help, and the tea. it was delicious, but i’ll probably have to start cutting back on the caffeine.” you gave it a chef’s kiss yet he didn’t even chuckle like he usually does. it was almost scary how your true emotions reflected onto him, as it seemed like the whole atmosphere had changed.

“(y/n).” tamaki uttered with a much more serious tone; eyes filled with determination yet trained onto the cloak in his hands. “you shouldn’t be embarrassed-- or at least, I, um, don’t think you should be.”

your eyes widened at how sternly he said the first part; granted, he became flustered when it came to the second part, but it really showed you how firmly he stood by what he was saying. you nodded for him to continue as he looked like he still had a lot on his mind.

“it���s unfair that you have trouble focussing because of what other people think. so my two cents is that you should do whatever you need to do, and, um, not care about other people... well, i mean, you should care about them, but just not what they think about you. because like, you can’t really control that--”

he found himself having to abruptly shut his mouth to stop himself from prattling on any further. especially since most of what he was saying was probably none sense that he mistook for inspirational, or at least that is what he gathered from the shocked look you wore; it was ironic how humiliated he was.

“that’s nice to hear.” you hummed, a kind smile gracing your features in place of the previous stunned expression, “though it’s hard to believe coming from someone as cool as you, tamaki.”

“cool?”

“yeah.” you chuckled, rolling your eyes at his baffled look which he must have been faking. surely he knows how highly thought of and respected he is throughout the whole school. he is in the big three, for fucks’ sake! “there is probably a better word to describe it, but you are one of the most badass people i know.”

“badass?” it was as if all he was capable of doing was repeating these words to you with an innocent yet confused gaze.

“yes!” you enthused, “so, is there anything you even have to be embarrassed about?”

“i do!” he almost whined, and without thinking, he stormed to his bedroom only to grab the sweater he cast aside earlier to show it to you, “look! an octopus sweater, isn’t this embarrassing?”

you deadpanned, unsure as to whether he was joking or not. “stimming is very different from a octopus sweater but go on.” however after a few moments of actually analysing the design on the article of clothing, you exclaimed, “oi, i have that exact same sweater! how is a cute little octopus embarrassing? plus, it would be extra cute on you because you have tentacles.”

in a moment of frustration and wanting to prove a point, he threw the sweater aside and began to sheepishly grab at the ends of his sleeves, “well, you know what’s even more embarrassing? having a crush on someone for three whole years and not having the balls to ask them out! and on top of that, being to nervous to return my crush’s stuff after you left it at my house.”

you weren’t sure if he meant to switch out ‘my crush’ with ‘you’ on purpose or if he was just confused. either way, you found yourself leaning in to wrap the poor boy in an overdue embrace, smiling against his chest as he hugged back. “that was..” you faltered, allowing tamaki to interject with “mortifying” but you were quick to correct him, “i think that was a very unique way to confess, and i'm just glad you did.”

your chuckle that followed was left to echo around the room as tamaki stood still and silent, simply enjoying the comfort in your arms as feeling the pleasure of time escape him. until eventually he whispered close to your ear, “so since i know more about embarrassment than you thought, will you take my advice now?”

you snickered, gently tracing shapes onto his back, “i was going to take your advice either way because if i don’t get good grades and remain in the support course, how will i graduate with you?”

“good point.” he hummed, not-so silently enjoying the relaxing sensations near his spine, “but we are not wearing matching octopus hats.”

how did manage to shoot down your idea before you even proposed it?

[bellaireland1981]

New Beginnings: CH 6

Characters: Andy Barber x Single Mom! Briella James (Named Reader), Jacob Barber, Ava James

Summary: Briella James is a HS teacher and has Jacob in her class. Jacob meets Briella’s 5 year old daughter and they form a bond. Andy is interested in Briella but her ex (and Ava’s dad) is becoming a problem!

Warnings: Mostly fluff, some angst, jerk of an ex that harasses Briella, kissing… will update in future chapters.

Word Count: 4084

A/N: I do Not own Andy Barber or Jacob Barber, they are fictional characters. I do not give permission for anyone to repost my work or translate it to another site. Reblogs always welcome!   This is my FIRST EVER attempt at writing for Andy…or any character, so be gentle!  THANK YOU to my friends for supporting me and encouraging me! I’m my own worst critic so I love their feedback! @denisemarieangelina @fluffymisha97 @jamielea81

Chapter 5     

Thankfully the rest of the week went pretty quickly. Friday morning, Ava was a ball of excited energy for dinner with Andy and Jacob. She wasn’t the only one. You couldn’t wait either.

Unfortunately, throughout the day you were inundated with texts and calls from your ex, which set you on edge. You managed to make it to your lunch before you broke down and actually called Andy. You planned to just leave a voicemail, as you were sure he was busy. You were happily surprised when he picked up.

“Hey, Sweetheart.” He said, “Are you on lunch? How’s your day going?”

“Yeah.” You said, “It’s much better now that I’m talking to you. I was just going to leave you a voicemail, but this is much better.”

“Everything ok?” He asked, concerned, “And unless I’m in court, I’ll always answer for you.”

“I’ve been getting a lot of texts and calls today from the ex.” You replied, shakily, “It’s just getting to me. It’s exhausting.”

“Forward me the messages,” he said, “I promise you, this will be over soon. In the meantime, we have tonight and tomorrow night together to look forward to.”

“That’s what’s getting me through.” You replied, “I can’t wait to see you. Ava is beyond excited as well.”

“Only a few more hours.” He said, “I can’t wait to see you and Ava either. How about you both come over at 4:30. Gives you time to get her picked up and I’ll leave work early and meet you at my house.”

“Sounds perfect.” You agreed. “I’ll let you get back to work, and I’ll see you soon.”

“I’ll see you soon.” He said, “And you can call me whenever you need to.”

The rest of the day went smoother. The calls and texts tapered down so you were at least able to focus. Once your last class was finished, you wrapped up some last minute emails to parents, then shut your laptop, grabbed your stuff and headed out of the building.

You got Ava picked up from school and headed home to change before going to Andy’s. Ava insisted on wearing her Elsa pajamas, even though you repeatedly told her it was not a sleepover.  One thing you were sure of, the child was headstrong.  You changed into jeans and a lighter weight sweater. It was starting to get cooler, especially at night.

You arrived at Andy’s and parked behind his black Audi. Getting out of your car, you made your way around to get Ava out and the two of you walked up to the front door. Andy was already there waiting with the door open, smiling at the two of you.

“Hi Andy!” Ava exclaimed, bounding up the step and throwing her arms around him. He hugged her back, smiling at you over her head.

“Hey, Princess.” He said, “I hope you’re hungry. We’ve got lots of pizza on the way, and enough snacks to rival the movie theater.”

“I’m starving.” she confirmed, beaming up at Andy. “Where’s Jacob?”

“Right here” He said, coming up behind his dad. “Come on, let’s steak out the best seats for the movie.” Jacob reaches for Ava’s hand, helping her into the house.

“Hey, Beautiful.” Andy said smiling at you, “Come here.” He gently pulled you up the step into the house and into his arms. You felt your whole body relax into his embrace. The stress of the week and everything with your ex melting away.

“That was exactly what I needed.” you said smiling up at him, “Thank you.”

“If I’m being honest, I needed it too,” He replied, “It was a long day. I was more than happy to leave it all behind. Come on, let’s go inside, I’ve got wine or beer. You’ve earned it.”

Andy led you into the house and to the kitchen. It was a very nice house from what you saw of it so far. It was definitely larger than yours. Surprisingly, it looked very homey, not the bachelor pad you were expecting with two males living there. Jacob and Ava were seated in what looked like oversized bean bag chairs on the living room floor flipping through Disney+, deciding on which movie to watch. It was cute that Jacob was patiently flipping through them all, even though everyone knew the choice would be Frozen.

You’d decided beer sounded better for the evening, especially with pizza coming. You and Andy sat at the island in the kitchen sipping your beer, enjoying each other’s company while you waited for dinner to arrive.

“I wasn’t sure where you’d like to go tomorrow night, but some of the other lawyers at the firm suggested the new sushi and steak restaurant KoFusion. I made reservations but we can always go somewhere else if you’d prefer.” Andy said, taking a sip of his beer.

“That sounds perfect.” You replied, smiling. “I’ve actually been wanting to try it, but Ava isn’t really open to trying sushi or steak.”

“I don’t think I would have been much for them either at her age.” He laughed, “Jake may eat steak now, but I doubt I’d ever get him to try sushi.”

“I was planning on making them a mini taco bar for dinner.” You said, “It’s easy to make.”

“I know Jake loves tacos so he’ll be happy.” He replies.

The doorbell rang, signaling dinner’s arrival. Andy grabbed the pizza and paid the delivery person, bringing the pizza back to the kitchen. We loaded up plates for everyone, grabbed drinks for the kids and brought it all to the living room.

“We’re going to watch Frozen!” Ava declared, “Jacob said they haven’t seen it yet!”

“We were just hoping to get to watch it with you, Princess Ava.” Andy said smiling and winking at Ava, while handing Jacob his pizza.

“Be careful, Monkey.” I told her, handing her a plate.

“Mommy, I want a Princess party this year for my birthday!” Ava said, “And I want Jacob and Andy to come to my party!”

“When is your birthday, Ava?” Jacob asked.

“November 6th!” Ava said excitedly, “And guess WHAT?”

“What?” Jacob humored her smiling.

“I’ll be 6 years old!” She replied, “Mommy said it’s special because it’s my golden birthday!”

“That is very special, Ava!” Andy said, “We’d love to come to your extra special princess party.”

“We’ll go get the invitations next week and fill them out so you can pass them out to your friends.” You told her, “

Jacob starte the movie and we all watched while eating our dinner. Once everyone was finished, you stacked the plates on the coffee table until the movie was over. Andy scooted closer to you on the couch, pulling you into him. His arm was round you and relaxed against him, enjoying just being with him.

Halfway through the movie, Andy paused it and declared it was ice cream sundae time. Everyone went to the kitchen and built their own sundae before carrying it back to the living room to resume the movie.

After the movie was over you helped Andy to carry all of the dishes to the kitchen. You offered to help him with the dishes but he said he’d have Jacob help later. Ava was starting to get sleepy, so you got her tucked into the car and said goodnight to both Andy and Jacob. You were definitely looking forward to your date the next night.

“Drive safe and text me when you get home.” Andy said leaning in to kiss you gently through the driver’s side window.

“I promise” you replied, smiling.

By the time you got home, Ava was fast asleep. It was a good thing she’d worn her pajamas afterall. You didn’t want to wake her enough to brush her teeth, you figured one night wouldn’t hurt. Thankfully, she was still light enough you were able to carry her into the house and get her tucked into her bed. Once you finished that you text Andy to let him know you made it home. You exchanged a few more texts back and forth and then you too, decided to call it a night.

You spend most of Saturday getting errands run and household chores you’d neglected over the week completed. Ava spent a few hours with your parents while you got everything done. They were used to getting to spend time together on the weekends. Later afternoon you swung by to pick her up so that you could go home and get ready for your date.

“She’s welcome to spend the night here if you want, Sweetheart.” Your mom said, “That way you don’t have to rush home from your date.”

“Jacob is coming to the house to hang out with her while Andy and I go out.” You replied, “Those two are thick as thieves already.”

“All we heard about today was Jacob and Andy.” Your mom said smiling, “I can’t wait to meet them. Just be careful, Bri. I’d hate for Ava to get attached just to get her heart broken. You too for that matter.”

“I wouldn’t let her get attached if I wasn’t sure about this, Momma.” You reassure her, “I know it seems fast, and really, it is, but the connection is there… and it’s strong. Wait until you meet them, you’ll see.”

“How about you bring them over Sunday for a family dinner.” Your mom suggests.

“I can ask him.” You replied, “If this Sunday doesn’t work, we can always schedule for next week.”

“Just let me know.” she said.

Ava came in with her jacket already on, bouncing in excitement.

“Come on Mommy! Andy and Jacob are coming over soon!” She said. She ran and gave your parents hugs, “Bye Nana and Papa! I love you!”

“I’ve ever seen her in such a hurry to leave us before.” Your dad pouted, “We’ve got competition now, Honey.”

“That we do.” Your mom laughed, “Have fun tonight Baby doll! You can tell me all about your fun night with Jacob tomorrow, ok?”

“I will! And Mommy can tell you about her date with Andy!”

“I can’t wait.” Your mom said, winking at you.

“Love you both” You said, “I’ll call you about dinner.”

“Have fun, Sweetheart,” She said,”I’m really happy you’re getting back out there.”

Ava was already in her seat and buckled when you got to the car. On the ride home you glanced in the rearview mirror to look at Ava and noticed the same car had been behind you for several blocks. You shrugged figuring it was nothing and continued on your way home.

Once you pulled into your driveway and parked, you got Ava out and the two of you headed inside. She immediately started setting up the living room for a movie and game night. Poor Jacob would be kept busy for sure.

You decided it made more sense to get the taco meat cooked up and veggies chopped before getting ready, so you got to work on that while Ava was setting up the living room. She finished before you and came into the kitchen while you were getting everything ready.

“Mommy, can I have a snack?” She asked.

“There are apple slices and grapes in the fridge,”You told her, “Grab a bowl and you can put some fruit in it.”

“OK!” She carefully grabbed one of her bowls from the cupboard on the island and went to the fridge.

Twenty minutes later, all of the food was prepped and the taco meat was finished. You settled Ava on your bed  with her tablet geared up to one of her learning games and you started looking through your closet to decide what to wear.

“Mommy,” Ava said looking up from her tablet, “You should wear the pretty blue dress you wore to Nana and Papa’s party. Andy wears blue lots, I think it’s his favorite.”

“You think so?” You asked, smiling, “I like that dress a lot too. I think I will wear it! Thank you my sweet Monkey!”

She beamed then went back to playing her game as you quickly changed into the dress. It was a short sleeved, chiffon fit and flare dress, simple yet elegant. Most importantly, it was comfortable so you wouldn’t be readjusting it all night. You chose the diamond pendant necklace your parents gave you when you graduated college, and a pair of silver drop earrings to match. Once you were dressed, you went into your bathroom and did your makeup. You decided to leave your hair down, but quickly took the curling iron to it give it a little bounce. Finally you were as ready as you were going to get.

Satisfied with the end result, you finally stepped out of the bathroom.

“You look pretty, Mommy!” Ava said, “Is it almost time for Jacob to come?”

“Almost!” You confirmed, “And thank you, Monkey. Let’s go downstairs, I need to check my phone.”

Ava made herself comfortable on the couch, while you went to your phone. You had several messages from your ex. You chose to ignore them for now. You didn’t want anything to ruin the night with Andy. You had one message from Andy, which you tapped to open.

Andy: We’re leaving now, be there shortly. See you soon. XX

You checked the time stamp and the current time and realized they’d be here any minute.

“Mommy! They’re HERE!” Ava exclaimed, launching herself off of the chair by the window where she’d apparently taken up watch.

“Give them a moment to get to the door, Monkey” You laughed, “Don’t go flying out of the house.”

You started to head to the door to open, but Ava flew past and beat you to the door. She remembered to look back and check that it was OK for her to open the door. Once you’d given permission she quickly pulled the door open. Andy and Jacob were just getting to the door.

“Hi Jacob!” she greeted him, happily, before launching herself at him to hug him. Jacob chuckled, bending down a bit to hug her back.

“Hey Ava!” He replied, “Ready to watch movies, eat junk food and stay up past your bedtime?”

“YES!” She confirmed, “Can you always be my babysitter? Not even Nana and Papa let me do all that!”

“I’m not sure you’re supposed to reveal your master plan while the parents are present, Jake.”  Andy laughed.

“Hi Andy!” Ava said, breaking away from Jacob to hug him, then looking at the button up dress shirt he wore, added, “I knew blue was your favorite color! I told Mommy  to wear the blue dress because she would be pretty and it was your favorite color!”

“Blue is my favorite color,” He confirmed smiling at her, then looking up at you, he said, “And your mommy looks beautiful.”

“Told you, Mommy!” Ava beamed, happy having helped you out.

“You did tell me, Monkey.” You replied smiling, then to Andy said, “You’re looking pretty handsome yourself.”

“Ok, Ava,” Jacob said, playfully rolling his eyes, “Let’s get away from these two.” The pair headed into the living room, Ava already chatting a mile a minute.

“Hey, Sweetheart.” Andy smiled, stepping into the house, and closing the door. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in close and dropping a quick kiss onto your lips.

“Hi.” You replied, smiling up at him, “Looks like we’ve learned how to clear the kids out of a room.”

“That’s going to be a handy skill to have.” He agreed, laughing. You both made your way into the living room where the kids were.

“Ok, the tacos are all ready to go, although you may want to reheat the meat. There are drinks in the fridge. Ava knows where all of the snacks are. Just make sure she isn’t bouncing off the walls from too much sugar.” You laugh, “There are emergency numbers on the fridge. If you need anything, just call or text.”

“We’ll be fine” Jacob assured you, “I’ve got this. You guys go have fun and don’t worry. We’ll be having too much fun here to even miss you.”

“I’m feeling the love here.” You teased him. “I know you’ll be fine, I’m not worried in the slightest.”

After hugging them both, they pretty much shoved you and Andy out of the house.

Once you arrived at the restaurant, Andy quickly came around and opened your door. He held your hand as the two of you made your way into the restaurant, only separating for him to open the door and then his hand landed on your back, gently guiding you into the building. Once inside, he took your hand in his own again.

You were seated at a semi-private table toward the back of the restaurant. Your waiter took your orders for drinks and then left you to look over the menu.

“This all looks amazing.” You said, “How is anyone supposed to make a decision?”

“I was thinking the same thing” he laughed, “How about we get a variety and we can try it all?”

“That’s a brilliant idea.” You agreed.

The waiter returned with your drinks and you placed your orders. You took a sip of the wine to help calm your nerves. You weren’t nervous around Andy, just being on a date after not dating for over 5 years was causing a little anxiety.

“I haven’t been on a first date since college.” Andy said, as if reading your thoughts. “I have to say, this one is already far better.”

“I haven’t been on any date of any kind since before Ava was born.” You replied, “But I can say with certainty that this one is already better than any date I’d been on before that.”

“Here’s to many more dates together.” Andy said, raising his glass to you. You raised yours toasting.

“And possibly to last first dates.” You said, smiling.

“I’ll definitely drink to that.” He agreed, smiling back at you.

“Ava spent the morning with my parents while I was running errands and according to them she didn’t stop talking about you and Jacob.” You told him. “They offered to keep her tonight but she wasn’t trying to miss out on time with Jacob.”

“I think Jake would have been bummed to miss out on time with Ava too.” Andy said, “I think he really likes having someone look up to him.”

“They’re good for each other.” You agreed, “My mom invited you and Jacob to dinner tomorrow, I told her I’d pass along the invite. It feels weird to say that on a first date. You don’t have to accept, I know it’s really soon.”

“We’d love to.” Andy reassured you, “It might be soon by others’ standards, but I’ve had enough of living by others’ standards. I think we just need to do this our own way.”

“I like the sound of that.” You agree, “We can make our own standard.”

The waiter brought the dishes to the table. You and Andy enjoyed the variety of sushi, trying different kinds. Conversation continued to flow during dinner. It honestly felt like you’d been on many dates by the time you were finished eating.

“I don’t think our kids want us home yet, and I’m not ready for this date to end.” Andy said, “Do you want to go for a walk by the lake?”

“I’d love to.” You said, “I’m not ready to go home yet either.”

After paying the bill, Andy leads you out to where the car is parked. He opens your door for you, and you slide into the passenger seat. He quickly walks around to the driver’s side and gets in. The drive to the lake doesn’t take long and being pretty deserted, it’s easy to find parking. Andy once again comes around to open your door and offers his hand to help you out of the car.

You’re glad you thought to grab the lightweight sweater to wear with your dress. It provides enough cover to where you’re not going to get cold while enjoying time with Andy.

You make your way to the path that leads along the lake, Andy taking your hand in his, your fingers intertwining.

“I’m really enjoying the milder fall weather this year.” You said, “It’s been really nice to be able to be outside longer. I’m hoping it holds through Ava’s birthday before it gets cold.”

“I imagine it would be easier to hold the party outside as opposed to all of those kids inside the house.” He chuckled, “I’ve really loved the weather being so mild too. It allows me to go for walks by a lake with a beautiful woman.”

“Smooth, Mr. Barber.” You laughed, “And yes, holding the party outside would be much less of a headache.”

“I’m only stating facts, Sweetheart.” He smirked, “And whether the party is inside or out, Jake and I can help wrangle kids.”

“That would be most helpful.” You said, smiling.

The two of you continued to walk along the path, stopping when you arrived at a pier. Andy led you to the end where there was a bench and you both sat down, close to one another. He wrapped his arm around you, pulling you in close, and you relaxed into his side.

“I haven’t been this happy or relaxed in a long time.” Andy admitted. “Even before everything exploded with Jake and then after...with the accident… I wasn’t happy. I was trying. I wanted to be happy and to want the life we had, but it felt too forced. I can’t remember the last time I was happy. Meeting you and getting to know you better, has changed everything. I don’t know if I deserve to be happy, but I’m going to hold on to this.”

“You deserve to be happy, Andy.” You said, turning slightly so you could look into his eyes. “I thought I was happy with my ex, I thought I wanted to marry him, but once he walked out when I got pregnant, I realized that I wasn’t actually happy with him. I don’t know that I ever really loved him. Being with you though, makes me happy.”

His hand comes up to cup your face, his head lowering to yours. His lips connected with your own, his beard rubbing against your face. His tongue licked at the seam of your lips, asking for entry. You allowed him access, your own tongue snaking out to meet his. The kiss deepened, he pulled you closer into him, your arms wound around his middle. You continued to kiss until you finally had to break apart for air. His hand stayed cupping your face, his thumb brushing against your kiss swollen lips.

“Maybe we should have had your parents keep Ava,” Andy teased, his voice husky, “We could have continued this without a curfew.”

“Maybe next time,” You smiled, “Depriving Ava of Jacob wouldn’t have won you any points.”

“I wouldn’t want that.” He agreed, “I need her on my side.”

“I think you’re good on that front.” You assured him.

“As much as I would love to stay out here with you, we should probably start to head back.” Andy said, reluctantly.

“We probably should.” You agreed.

You walked back towards his car hand in hand. On the drive back to your house, Andy kept your hand in his own, driving one handed.

Once you arrived back at your house, Andy parked and came around to you. This time when he helped you out of the car, he pulled you into him and kissed you again.

“I can definitely get used to that.” You said, smiling.

“Me too.” He said. “Shall we head in to see what the kids are up to?”

You nodded, turning to head to the front door. As you turned, movement caught your eye on the street. You turned your head to investigate and felt your stomach drop. In the street light, you were able to see the same car that you’d thought had been following you yesterday. With the light, you were able to see the driver.

“Andy” You said shakily, “It’s him. That’s my ex in the car.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, turning quickly to see the driver before he drove off down the street.

“Yes.” You confirmed, “I think he followed me yesterday too.”

“Let’s go inside.” He said, guiding you up to the door.

@nickysurfer28  @waywardodysseys​ @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss​

[demig00ddess]

Sleeping Beauty

Charlie Weasley x MC

Warning: huge spoilers for Year 6 Chapter 18!

————————————————————

CHAPTER FOUR

THE CONSEQUENCES OF DEATH

    1989.     Middle of the first semester.     The quill in the hands creaked monotonously, writing words on the paper. Professor Binns’ voice and the stifling atmosphere of the office were slowly putting in the trance. Emma bit her cheek more painfully and continued to take notes on the lecture.     Behind the farthest desk, Binns’ rustling voice was hard to hear, so Emma regularly consulted the textbook. Two seats were empty in the first rows. One of them is next to Penny, there was always Rowan. The second — next to Charlie, he occupied it for Emma every lesson. Today Emma quietly slipped into the office just before the start of the lecture so as not to meet with her classmates.     Penny sat down next to Charlie and whispered something in his ear. For some reason, Emma felt as if she had swallowed the bubotuber pus. She shook her head, for sure it seemed to her because of fatigue. She was satisfied with the back seat, but the fact that someone else was sitting in her place next to Charlie was a little annoying. Charlie listened to Penny and nodded absently. He looked around uneasily, trying to see someone or something. Emma was glad that she was safely hidden from the front desks by the backs of her classmates.

    “… delegated authority to Wizn… Wesegn… to Wizengamot.” Emma stubbornly wrote down the professor’s words, despite the fact that her hands were shaking and big blots remained on the parchment.     She felt sleepy, but she could not afford to fall asleep. There was a bright flash of green light in front of closed eyes. The Dreamless Sleep Potion they had been brewing on Potions had run out. The dose from the hospital wing that Madame Pomfrey had advised not to overuse had ended too. But after such a sleep, she got up even more tired.     A flash of green and Rowan’s body falls right in front of her. The friend’s eyes are wide open in surprise, her mouth is slightly open in a silent scream. “Debt collected.” Emma could not bear it, she woke up with a cry and tears in her eyes. The silencing charms she put on her bed every night kept her from waking an already worried Liz. Whatever Merula said, the same charms were imposed on her bed, she could not afford to be considered weak by anyone, not even Izmelda.     Every time Emma closed her eyes, there was a green flash and the body of her best friend fell in front of her. At first, it was only memories of Rowan, but then a deadly beam hit Ben, and he fell dead in front of Emma. Merula died next, then Charlie, Penny, Barnaby, Bill, Tonks. Her friends threw themselves under a killing spell, and she could only watch their lifeless bodies fall to the ground. Emma tried to revive Jae and Badeya, begged Tulip to get up, but they were all dead.     Charlie turned around again and Emma looked away. There was her own cry in her ears when a green beam hit him when the red head hit the ground and her tears fell on the freckles on his still warm face.

    Emma doubled over to stifle the pulling pain and rumbling in her stomach. After eating, she felt sleepy, but she couldn’t sleep. After lights out, she would sit up in the Slytherin common room with her books and send especially curious juniors to the bedrooms.     Most of the teachers averted their eyes from her as if they didn’t want to disturb her. Snape gave her an incomprehensible look as she submitted an essay on the Draught of Living Death a foot longer than he demanded. And Flitwick freed her from homework, after, because of trembling hands, she conjured not a small fountain of water, but a real tsunami, flooding the office.     During the day, Emma wandered and loitered about the castle, avoiding familiar faces. She shunned talking, trying to hide in a niche or take refuge in some class. She felt that some part of her had died and now she could not exist normally. She wandered half-dead.

    An idea came to the head like lightning. Half-dead! Surely! How the thought didn’t occur to her at once. Emma jotted down hastily Binns’ last words.     “Professor! Professor Binns, please wait!” Emma made her way through classmates.     “Um, Underwood? Do you want anything?”     Emma hesitated a little, she didn’t think what exactly she would ask the teacher. The classroom was empty and she finally found the words.     “Professor, I wanted to know about Rowan, Rowan Khanna. She always said that she wanted to be the youngest professor at Hogwarts. Um — Couldn'tshestayherelikeyou?”     “Excuse me?”     “Couldn’t she become a ghost? I mean, you came back to teach students, she could come back too. She would have come up with everything, finish her studies, and then began to teach. I’m sure Professor Dumbledore would have let her! She could have stayed here! Haven’t you… haven’t you seen her?”     Emma blurted it all out in one breath, afraid that the professor would interrupt her. Binns adjusted his glasses and for the first time looked at Emma like that, with the keen, clear gaze that Emma often saw in Dumbledore.     “Miss Khanna was a gifted witch. And for all her love of teaching, she was drawn to explore and learn something new.” Emma stared at the old professor. “So rest assured, Miss Underwood, she went ahead.”     “Went ahead? Where did she go?”     “Unfortunately, I do not possess these facts. But you should know she’s not coming back. I’m sorry, this is a big loss for Hogwarts.” Binn turned and walked through the board.     “For Hogwarts,” Emma repeated. It seemed to her that Rowan had died a second time, again in front of her eyes. She had already seen her friend, ethereal, pearl-silver, but talking to her and laughing. But Rowan went ahead.     Emma stuffed a quill and blob-strewn lecture notes into her bag. She wanted to hide somewhere, in Moaning Myrtle’s toilet or a dark closet. She had no strength to return to the common room.

    At the exit from the class she was caught by someone’s strong hands, Emma jerked sharply, holding a wand to the attacker's neck. She could feel her heart pounding thumping deep in her head. “I have to defend myself.”     “Emma,” Charlie gently moved the trembling wand away from his neck. Emma freed herself from his grasp and dashed down the hallway.     “Emma! I want to talk! Please!”     “Not now, Charlie,” she wanted to hide quickly. Charlie caught up with her and gently turned her around. He didn’t insist but asked. There was not a drop of pity in his bright eyes, they were full of concern. He examined her carefully as if trying to see if she had done something bad to herself.     “You were right,” Emma turned her gaze into his boots. “You better stay away from me. Everyone should stay away from me.”     She turned and walked away. She had already lost one friend and couldn’t bear to lose someone else. Charlie caught up with her again and grabbed her into his arms.     “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should never have said those words to you. You are my — You’re my best friend and I will be by your side. Whenever you need me, I’ll be there for you.”     Emma shook her head, pulling back.     “Your brothers — ”     “My brothers will support me,” Charlie interrupted her, he was confident in his words. His eyes said that he would not let anyone else hurt her. Emma felt her eyes fill with tears. The students scurried along the corridor and Emma again had a keen desire to hide.     “Come with me,” Charlie whispered in her ear.

    They walked and walked until they came to a sprawling tree near the lake, scaring several of the Hufflepuff freshmen out of there. Charlie hit the ground first, rummaged in his bag, pulled out the sandwiches wrapped in a napkin, and handed it to Emma.     “How long have you not eaten?”     “A couple of days, maybe more,” Emma sat down next to him and sniffed at the sandwiches. “How did you know?”     “Couldn’t find you in the Great Hall.”     Emma took a bite of her sandwich and put it aside, feeling nauseous. Charlie looked at her closely but said nothing. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Emma bit by bit on the sandwich to keep from getting sick.     “I spoke to Nearly Headless Nick. Also asked about… this.”     “What did he say?”     “The same as Binns.”     Emma felt a tear roll down her cheek.     “I saw Rowan’s parents yesterday, they came to pick up her things. I visited them every summer. They loved her so much…”     Emma burst out, talking and talking, ignoring the tears. Charlie just sat there and listened. When Emma finished and exhaled helplessly, he leaned her head on his shoulder and began to speak. He told her stories that he had heard from his mother as a child. He talked about the books he had read. Emma lay on his shoulder and listened, inhaling the scent of grass, honeysuckle, and something else very familiar. She didn’t notice as her eyes began to close, and Charlie’s voice seemed to ring out farther and farther.

    She didn’t get much sleep, Emma woke up from her own scream, she was tossing around, not knowing where she was. She was choking on tears and couldn’t breathe, it seemed that someone had sucked all the air out of her lungs.     “Shh. I’m here, everything is fine,” Charlie’s quiet and soft voice rang out over her ear. He put his arm around Emma, stroking her hair soothingly. She sobbed and grabbed his hand, afraid to let go.     “Do you want me to tell a tale about the fountain of Fair Fortune?” asked Charlie a few minutes later, when Emma calmed down. She nodded.     “Jacob used to tell me this story when I couldn’t sleep.”     “Now you need to sleep too. I’m not such a good storyteller, but I hope you like it. High on a hill in an enchanted garden, enclosed by tall walls and protected by strong magic, flowed the Fountain of Fair Fortune…”

    When Emma woke up, the sun was already setting, she was lying on Charlie’s lap, covered by his jacket. Charlie himself was reading a book, only wearing a sweater. Emma jumped awkwardly and blushed.     “Did you get some sleep?” Charlie pulled out a blade of grass tangled in her hair. The tips of his ears turned pink. Emma nodded in surprise, she slept for hours without nightmares. “You smiled in your sleep. I missed it, your smile I mean.”     Emma flushed and hastily turned away, pretending to straighten her clothes. She vaguely remembered what she had dreamed, but Charlie was definitely there. “Well, he’s your friend, the others must have been in the dream too,” she told herself.

    Charlie had already packed his things, got to his feet and gave her a hand. Emma got up, too, and handed him his jacket.     “Don’t,” Charlie threw the jacket over her shoulders. “You can freeze after sleep.”     “Are we going to the castle yet?” Emma tried to hide the disappointment in her voice.     “We’re in time for dinner. Sit down at the Gryffindor table, okay? You need to eat, and you're boycotting food.” Emma’s stomach purred in agreement. Charlie gave her a bribing look, “Penny also wanted to sit with us while we are allowed.”     “Oh,” at the mention of Penny, appetite disappeared.     “Oh?” Charlie asked. “Did you have a fight?”     “No, I didn’t mean that.” Emma said, not understanding why she was angry at Penny. She always supported Emma and wished only the best for her.     They walked in silence for a few minutes, lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Emma broke down.     “You and Penny have become very close, haven’t you?”     “Yes,” Charlie said simply. “Especially recently. We spend a lot of time together.”     “Oh,” Emma said again, and they both fell silent.

    An unpleasant weight filled Emma’s chest, making her difficult to breathe. She noticed this even during their trip to Romania, but then she wasn’t up to it, she was too keen on their adventure. But since… since the moment… Emma couldn’t bring herself to say what had happened even in her thoughts. For the last couple of weeks, Charlie and Penny have hardly ever parted, and for some reason it hurt her.     Emma was happy for her friends, she loved both Penny and Charlie, as friends, of course. And it was great that they got together. Something was still gnawing at her, but Emma brushed the thought away. She didn’t want to be selfish, and even more she didn’t want to interfere with the happiness of her best friends. Especially in these times.

    “Glad for you,” Emma said already at the castle.     “Sorry?” Charlie snapped out of his thoughts.     “I’m glad for you and Penny, that you’re getting close,” she explained, trying to avoid Charlie’s gaze.     “Thank you,” Charlie looked surprised, letting her into the Great Hall.     “I’ll eat at my table,” Emma said sullenly.     “But — ”     “I’ll eat, I promise. I just… want to eat at my usual place. Alone,” she added hastily, noticing that Charlie had something to say. He nodded and gave her a confused smile.     “Then I’ll see you later, right?”     They went in opposite directions, joining their classmates. A few minutes later, Penny entered the Great Hall and went straight to the Gryffindor table. Charlie said something to Penny, who was smiling contentedly. Emma poked at the broccoli with her fork and looked away from the chatting couple.

    After dinner, Emma hurried down to the dungeons, once again avoiding her friends, and began to write an essay on the Orion constellation. It wasn’t until she was getting ready for bed that she realized that she hadn’t given Charlie his jacket back. Already in bed, having applied a silencing charm, Emma picked up the jacket in her hands, pondered for a couple of seconds and wrapped herself in it, curling up on the bed. The familiar smells immediately enveloped her, and she closed her eyes.     “Cinnamon” flashed through her head in the dream. The smell that haunted her for a long time was the light scent of cinnamon. It smelled like that at home when, years ago, her dad made cinnamon rolls, according to grandmother’s recipe. Emma buried her nose in the jacket and fell asleep with a smile on her face.

    It was the second time in two weeks that she had no nightmares.

[fromthedeskofelizabeththird]

Habanero

You're a good girl, well behaved.

Absolutely not the type to rail random guys in nightclubs.

Until you are.

Fandom: BNHA

Pairing: Aizawa x Reader, eventual polyamorous Erasermic x Reader

Rating: Mostly gen, this chapter is pretty tame. Reader gets pretty horny towards the end but nothing below the belt actually occurs

Trigger Warnings: None in this chapter.

AO3: Here | Want to support me? I have a Kofi

Chapter: 5/16 (all chapters)

You didn’t get any sleep that night.

As a result of your visits to the police station, hospital and briefing at UA, you didn’t get around to checking your phone until 8PM, only to find it had exploded with missed calls, text messages and voicemails. You had missed well over 200 messages in the group chat you shared with your friends and 32 çalls from your mother.

They all knew you worked at UA and by now the attack was all over the news.

You gave up on catching up on everything you had missed after the first five minutes, choosing instead to send a copy pasted message to everyone in your notifications.

Hello, there was an incident at UA today. I’m fine. We’re all fine. Thank you for your concern.

Responding was a mistake, for even more messages flooded through the moment you hit send.

Everyone wanted to know the gory details. Cousins you hadn’t talked to in years suddenly had more than a passing interest in your affairs.

And then there was the message that made you drop your phone; a single sentence buried between notifications.

It was from your ex.

You had parted on relatively good terms, considering, though hadn’t talked since he picked up his things from your house. You had told yourself it was for the best, even if it shattered your heart to pieces.

It was strange to hear from him now and he seemed to know it, for his words were no more intimate or friendly than those of your distant cousins. It was as if you’d never been lovers, yet memories flooded back.

You remembered eating lunch together at your kitchen table; remembered wearing his sweater on nights he wasn’t home and burying your nose in the collar. You remembered picking out dresses for date nights and taking his hand on the train ride home.

It had been a long, emotional day and you didn’t trust yourself to reply. Instead you got up to make a late dinner, stealing glances at your phone out of the corner of your eye. You couldn’t help but wonder how today might have gone if you were still together. Would he have picked you up from the police station? Maybe he would have taken you for gelato.

You picked up your phone as you waited for your food to cook, opening and closing his message. You gave up in the end, copy and pasting the same response you had given everyone else, but with one minor change.

Hello, there was an incident at UA today. I’m fine. We’re all fine. Thank you for your concern.

How are you?

He replied within the next five minutes, detailing the brand new business partnership he had achieved with one of the major hero agencies in Roppongi. He’d been chasing such a partnership for many of the years you had known him and it was difficult to stop yourself swelling with pride. He wasn’t your boyfriend now, after all.

He was just as curious about your new job at UA, though mostly seemed confused. You had been in your previous job for years with no desire to move, after all. You kept quiet about the fact that if he hadn’t broken your heart you would probably still be there.

After an hour or so of back and forth, he finally sent the message you had been dreading.

We should go for dinner some time.

You cast aside your phone and poured yourself a much needed glass of wine. You didn’t trust yourself to see him in person. It took everything you had not to call him there and then so you could hear his voice.

Your reply was as polite as it was cagey, apologising for your busy schedule under the current circumstances. It was at least partly true, and he seemed understanding enough. Everyone in the country knew about UA’s upcoming sports festival, after all.

Little did you know you’d be seeing him far sooner than expected.

━

UA was closed the next day for repairs and staff meetings. All UA staff were present, with one notable exception. Shouta was still in the hospital and expected to rest up for the rest of the week.

The attack on the USJ might have been foiled, but the implications of it were massive, especially with the sports festival on the horizon. You expected the games to be postponed for the immediate future, but you couldn’t be further from the truth. If anything, the attack made Nezu even more determined to make this year’s games the biggest yet.

You understood his decision, even if you didn’t completely agree with it. The sports festival was critical to the future prospects of all UA students, many of whom (such as the third year pupils) would not get another opportunity to show off their skills in such a public manner. You only hoped that it wasn’t a mistake.

Your own contributions to the meetings were small in the grand scheme of things and you were finished up for the day by 1:30 in the afternoon. You considered picking up groceries on the way home, only to get off the train at the nearest platform to the hospital.

By now Shouta must have come around from his anaesthesia and you decided to call in and visit to find out if he needed anything, like spare clothes or someone to help out with his household chores during his recovery. You had heard Hizashi and Nemuri make comments about his love for cats and seen cat hair on his clothes on certain occasions. If he had pets, you were only too happy to babysit them while he was away.

Unfortunately, your plans were quashed almost immediately.

“What do you mean he discharged himself?”

━

You thought about Shouta as you took the train, as you packed up your groceries and slipped through your front door. He had been terribly beaten up the last time you’d seen him, so much so that even his doctors had recommended he rest for the week. Why would he leave after less than 24 hours? Why would he overstrain himself in such a way?

You thought about him as you made lunch and the final adjustments to your schedule. He was a grown man, you told yourself. He was perfectly capable of making his own choices and taking care of himself.

Even so, you couldn’t stop thinking about his two injured arms. How was he going to cook? How was he going to clean? Surely he didn’t mean to continue underground work with damage to his skull?

You lasted until 5PM before giving up and texting Hizashi.

Can you call me when you’re free?

He called you only seconds later.

“How can I help you, sweet listener?”

“It’s Shouta,” you said. “I called by at the hospital and...well...he’s discharged himself.”

“He what ?!”

“I know,” you said. “I’m really worried.”

“That’s so typical of him,” Hizashi sighed, “what is he thinking?”

“I was thinking I might stop by his place to check on him,” you said. “Do you know where he lives?”

He went quiet for a couple of seconds, clearly thinking about it.

“You know, (Name), it’s not the kind of neighbourhood for a lady…”

“I’ll text you when I get there?”

“Hmmm…”

You could practically see him leaning back in his chair and scratching his chin.

“Fine,” he said at last. “I’ll text you the details.”

“Thank you!”

“You’ve gotta text me though.”

“I will!”

“And, by the way…”

“Mhmmm?”

“How long have you been calling him Shouta?”

You flushed a bright red, feeling as if you’d been caught with your pants down.

Of all of the teachers, Shouta was the only one who hadn’t openly given you permission to call him by his first name in informal situations. You referred to him as Aizawa while around other people and even on the rare occasions you were alone. You had reset, even if he would always be Shouta in your mind.

“I…I...I’ll speak to you later, haha, bye!”

You couldn’t hang up fast enough. You were convinced the intonation of your voice would betray the truth.

You buried your head in your hands, as if to hide your face from your phone.

Well, shit.

━

Hizashi hadn’t been exaggerating when he said Shouta lived in a shady area. Many of the buildings had boarded over their windows and just about every exposed area of brick had several layers of graffiti, most of which were obscene.

You felt eyes on the back of your neck as you pressed the buzzer for Shouta’s apartment, though soon identified the source as a grey cat sprawled across the wall, watching you with steady amber eyes.

“Hello,” you said, leaning over, “are you the gatekeeper?”

The cat yawned and stretched out a paw.

“Oh, I see, I see,” you said, tapping a fingertip against its paw by way of a handshake. “Well you’re doing a very good job.”

“What are you doing here?”

That voice sounded incredibly familiar and you glanced up towards the balcony above you. Shouta was peering over it, still bandaged up and both of his arms in casts. You couldn’t see his face but you knew he was scowling.

“I came to check in on you,” you called up. “The hospital said you’d discharged yourself, and-“

He turned on the spot.

“As you can see, I’m okay. You can go home now.”

“But…”

You had packed an insulated bag full of food before leaving home and glanced from that to the gate. Were you going to have to carry it back on the train? You’d already packed a big lunch for the next day, ahead of seeing 1-A through counselling. Just what were you going to do with all of this extra food?

Shouta peered back over the balcony and sighed.

“Fine,” he said. “But make sure you hold the door open for Sushi.”

“Sushi?” you wondered aloud as the buzzer sounded and you let yourself through the gate. “Who’s Sushi?”

As if in response, the cat hopped down from its position on the wall and wandered up the path as if it had done so a thousand times. It stopped at the front door to the building and turned back to you expectantly, waiting for you to open the door.

You followed the cat into the building and up the stairs. The cat, Sushi you supposed, would rush off ahead of you and then wait for you to catch up. It barreled up the stairwell and then sat at the top before climbing the next. You knew which apartment belonged to Shouta even without checking over Mic’s message, for the cat sat down outside of it and looked back at you.

“Thank you, gatekeeper,” you said, tapping at the door.

“It’s open,” Shouta called out from within and you reached for the handle, Sushi the cat squeezing through the gap the moment you opened it even slightly.

You didn’t know what you expected from Shouta’s home. You knew he spent very little time there and that much was clear the moment you got inside. He had minimal furniture: a couch in one corner, along with a small table and even smaller television. There were no photographs on the walls; no blankets or decorations. Everything in his home had a clear function, as if designed to be left in a hurry. It was the opposite of your home in every possible sense.

“Make yourself comfy, I guess,” he said.

“I don’t know when exactly you checked out of the hospital,” you said, “but I thought you might be hungry. I made a few things…”

You walked over to the table and unzipped your bag.

“I wasn’t sure what kinds of food you liked, so I brought a bit of everything,” you said, pulling out each container. “There’s some soup, some rice, meatballs, an omelette…”

Retrospectively, you had rather overdone it.

“Some of these can be frozen or reheated,” you said. “You don’t have to eat all of them at once.”

He glanced from you to your food containers, which by then had taken up almost all of his table.

“You didn’t have to do all of this.”

“Oh, it’s no bother. We’re colleagues, remember!”

“Yeah,” he said. “I-”

He didn’t get to say anymore, though, for his stomach rumbled noisily.

“Shouta,” you said. “When did you last eat?”

“I...hmm...I had a small meal at the hospital before I-”

“You... wh-?! That was hours ago! You need proteins and vitamins to heal.”

“It’s fine. I’ve had worse.”

It wasn’t fine. Not by any means.

You simmered as you plated up a few of the containers and refrigerated the rest. You couldn’t believe how little one person could care for their own body and pretended you didn’t see the bottles of antiseptic, antibiotics and bandages on his shelf. How many wounds had he gotten without seeing a doctor? How many of his scars came from cuts he had tended himself?

“I don’t want to hear you complain about Midoriya breaking his bones ever again,” you muttered as Sushi rubbed against your legs, seeming not to notice the bowl of cat food only a short distance away.

Of course he’d remembered to feed the cat.

Of course.

“Yes, yes,” said Shouta, leaning back on the couch and pulling down some of his bandages to expose his mouth and chin.

You brought the food over to his table and proceeded to pack away your empty food containers, watching out of the corner of your eye as he leaned over to pick up the cutlery, only to flinch and drop it.

“Do you need some help?”

“Nope, I got it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Ye-fuck.”

The cutlery clattered to the table with a dull thud and you took a seat next to him, reaching for the cutlery and holding it out to him.

“Thank you,” he said, albeit reluctantly, balancing it in his fingers before dropping it again.

“Let me help you,” you said, grabbing the fork and scooping up some of the omelette. “Open wide.”

“Wh-no way,” he said, eyes darting from you to the fork. “I ain’t a toddler.”

“It’s not like I’m going to make aeroplane sounds. Let me help you.”

Shouta grumbled under his breath, but ate from the fork you raised to his lips.

“..cious,” he murmured as you gathered a second forkful.

“Hmm?”

“I said...if you tell anyone about this I’ll shave off your eyebrows.”

“Neglect yourself this much again and I’ll shave your entire head.”

A smile crept across your face; you couldn’t help it. This whole situation was more than a little absurd. Here was the underground hero, Eraserhead, known for his smooth takedowns of villains in Musutafu’s underbelly, struggling to hold onto a fork. You were little more than a girl he’d hooked up, yet there you were, nagging him as if you were married.

Shouta fell into contemplative silence as well.

“At the attack,” he said at last. “Did they hurt you?”

“What do you mean?”

You hadn’t been involved in the fighting, but perhaps he didn’t know that?

“At the hospital,” he said, “you had blood on your shirt.”

Your heart skipped a beat, remembering how you had kissed his forehead before you could stop yourself. You’d thought he was asleep. Had he been awake the whole time?

“No,” you said. “Nezu had me go to the police station. I used my quirk too much on the suspects too much, that’s all.”

“Ah. I see.”

“Were you… worried about me?”

“Of course not! It’s just that you’re useless in battle.”

“Oh my god, you were worried about me.”

“No I wasn’t,” he said, stubbornly. “Now give me some of the chicken.”

You scooped up some of it and lifted it to his lips but he didn’t move, even though he’d asked for it.

“Shou…” you began, only to fall silent as he leaned in.

You told yourself you should pull away, even as you met him in the middle and ran your tongue over his bottom lip. He leaned over towards you and crushed his lips against yours, kissing you so deeply that it sent a shiver through your core. You wanted his hands on you; wanted to ride him until both your throat and cunt were raw.

Oh no...

Before this, you had never known that kisses could feel like stormy seas. For the first time in your life, you wanted to drown.

You reached to cup the uninjured side of his face.

Two seconds more and you would break the reset. Three and you wouldn’t even regret it.

Sushi took the initiative, though, making use of the distraction to hop onto your lap and steal the chicken from your fork. You broke the kiss, both pulling away as if burned.

“I…” you said, “I’m sorry.”

What were you thinking? Shouta was injured and likely still had remnants of anesthesia in his body. Even if he didn’t, the attack on USJ would leave anyone shaken. You had gone there to help him out with chores, not take advantage of him while he was in a potentially vulnerable state.

“I should go,” you said, clearing your throat and rushing away to zip up your insulated bag.

“(Name),” he said. “I-”

“It’s okay,” you said. “It was my fault. I…”

You gave him the biggest, most artificial smile in your arsenal; the one you used at job interviews and dinner with your parents.

“I’ll see you at work!”

━

You thought about the kiss on the train ride home, as you washed your dirty food containers and took a bath. You sank down into the water, wishing you could wash away the fluttering in your core.

It was just arousal, you told yourself. Sex released chemicals, namely oxytocin, and it was natural for you to feel attached to him. Hell, you’d seen each other completely naked, which in itself was something profoundly intimate.

It would fade in time, as all things did.

You repeated it over and over as you dried yourself off and got into bed. Soon, very soon, you would forget how it felt when he’d touched you. Bodies replaced their cells every decade or so; one day your bodies would have never touched at all.

The exhaustion from the past few days caught up with you the moment your head touched the pillow and before long you were dreaming.

You dreamed of waking in the arms of your lover, who ran his fingers through your hair and kissed you on the forehead. The bed was comfortably warm and bathed in soft morning light; your lover’s arm heavy across your waist.

“(Name),” he whispered in your ear and you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling.

“(Name),” he whispered again and you looked up into his face, taking in his black hair and dark eyes. “Why are you crying?”

Your eyes snapped open then, dragging you back to your empty room.

There was no one else in your bed, you realised. It was the middle of the night, with no trace of the early morning glow you had so happily basked in.

The tears, though, they were real.

━

A/N

yes, it's that Sushi

[randomoranges]

the first half of this is like haha oupsee and the second half is like But Also

Dress Shirt

Étienne mindlessly tugs on the sleeve of his sweater, as his second group of the day trickles in. It’s Edward’s class and he’s always privately amused when he has his boyfriend’s group. They don’t know, obviously, but he does and the knowledge amuses him.

 He’s busy giving out instructions when one of the students’ comes up to him and says, “Hen, M Étienne, vous avez le même chandail que M Édouard?!”

 He pauses, mid sentence and looks down to the shirt he’s wearing underneath the sweater and feels a split second of anxiety.

 It is, indeed, Edward’s shirt. Kids can be so – observant when they want to.

 There’s a perfectly good reason for the shirt.

 Kind of.

 Not one he’s about to share with the kids, who’ve now noticed that their art teacher has the same shirt as their teacher and who are making a Big Deal out of it.

 Last afternoon, like every other afternoon, at the end of the school day, Edward had set out to drive him home, like he does nearly every afternoon and as he’s been doing for the past year and a half. However, halfway through the ride, after their discussion on what they were each making for supper, Étienne had made a comment about how much better Edward’s supper sounded, and his boyfriend had asked him if he wanted to stay for supper.

 Étienne had said yes, obviously, and supper had turned into watching some television together, which had turned into making-out on the sofa, which had led Edward to pull Étienne to his bedroom, which had turned into more fooling around, which had culminated in Étienne spending the night on a weekday night.

 It had been a really good night, though. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had sex on a school night.

 Therefore, seeing as he hadn’t been prepared to spend the night and seeing as they’d gone to bed past their normal bedtime and had rushed in the morning, Étienne hadn’t really thought anything when he’d asked Edward if he could borrow a shirt for the day. He’d picked his favourite one, Edward had driven them to school, and all the while Étienne had thought that maybe he should leave a change of clothes at Edward’s – in case this happened again. He’d like for it to happen again. Especially the impromptu version.

 “Ah oui?” He plays dumb. Thankfully, the shirt is a simple button down in powder blue. “J’imagine qu’on a du l’acheter au même magasin. C’est drôle, hein?” He laughs and the students giggle as well, before he ushers them to their seats so that they can start the lesson.

 No one else brings it up and the rest of the period goes off without further incidents.

 There’s half an hour left before lunch, when he happens to see the light blinking on his cell phone, alerting him of a message. His third group is busy working on their projects, and so, even though he’s not supposed to, he checks his phone and sees that Edward has sent him a text. Curious, he opens it up, wondering what it says.

 “Can we do lunch?”

 They hadn’t discussed eating together, but Étienne is never one to say no, unless he legitimately can’t.

 “Sure : )”

 He doesn’t bother to wait for an answer and goes back to his lesson.

 Edward shows up to the art room ten minutes after lunch started, after he’s brought his own kids to the cafeteria, and knocks on the door as he always does. Étienne looks up from the paint pucks he’s been setting up and grins, before he motions him in. He walks over to the door and makes sure to lock it behind Edward, before he pecks his boyfriend’s cheek in greeting.

 “Nice shirt,” Edward offers and Étienne lets out a semi-embarrassed laugh.

 “I guess you heard?”

 “It’s all the kids were talking about.”

 There’s a point of seriousness to Edward’s voice and Étienne wonders if maybe his boyfriend is bothered by this. If he hasn’t had a change of heart.

 “I’m sorry if I made things weird – I promise I didn’t tell them anything – just that we must have gotten it at the same store.”

 They both take a seat on the couch at the back of the room and Edward lets himself slump over with a deep sigh.

 “No – it’s fine. You didn’t do anything wrong. I played along as well and it’s fine, but – is it stupid that I got scared for a moment? That they’d figure it out and react?”

 Étienne blinks, confused for only a second and then it hits him. What it could mean. What it could look like. What it could lead to.

 “It’s not stupid,” Étienne says after a moment, a quiet little admission of defeat. “This is still school. People like us have been fired for less.”

 It’s a sobering fact to remember. It leaves a chill in the room that even the coziest of sweaters can’t whisk away.

 “I don’t know – maybe it would be easier if there was a precedent. Some queer kid in the school. Queer parents. Something that would let us know it’s okay,” Sure, the union has an ally branch – but for the kids. There’s never really anything mentioned for staff. Even when he tried to look, he’s found nothing.

 Edward picks up, “Yet, in all my years here, I’ve never heard of a student having queer parents. Or even mentioning a queer family member or friend. I mean, I get we’re in elementary. Kids coming out happens more frequently in high school, but still. It would help. Would ease the tension and the anxiety.”

 He remembers hearing stories growing up. He remembers the fear he had felt, even then, without knowing. The sleepless nights afterwards. Wondering, always, how would it impact him, even though this was a new millennium. It’s always easier to say that one is tolerant, another to apply it when faced with the facts. Would the school accept two queer teachers? Would the parents turn on them? Would the school ask them to leave, politely, before they caused more damage? Because parents would talk? Would they even?

 Étienne reaches out and gives his knee a squeeze. “I hate that I get what you mean,” He sighs out and spares him a glance, “And that we have to choose – between being ourselves or going back into some proverbial closet. Potentially losing a job and causing a scene, or keeping our heads down and passing by.”

 “Yeah...” He’s relieved Étienne gets it. He would, obviously, but he’s relieved regardless. If anything, at least, he’s not alone. He’s not going back home to some other boyfriend who doesn’t have to worry about this one issue and who won’t understand. He’s been there before.

 “I know it’s not ideal, but I’m not – I don’t think I’m ready. To be out. Here.” He casts a worried glance around the room and then to Étienne, afraid his boyfriend will get annoyed. They’ve only been dating for a few short months and he knows he should have brought this up over summer, but – he’d forgotten. “I know you’re more – out than me. In your style and way of dressing... and I know it’s asking a lot.”

 “Hey, no, I get it – I really do.” Étienne says and tugs at Edward’s body until his boyfriend is leaning on him, using his chest as a pillow, “The school institution in itself is still a very conservative place full of archaic rules. I’m fine with playing it safe and testing the waters. Not rocking the boat and all. I might be the art teacher and get away with some things, but believe it or not there are still things I keep to myself as well.”

 They’ve spoken some about this over the summer, once they’d started dating. Of certain things they both enjoy doing that wouldn’t be accepted by the school’s dress code. Certain hobbies that might be frowned upon by more conservative minded people. It’s exhausting, really and they both hate it. Yet, even if they decided to take up arms to fight the stigma, it would take a lot of time and they’re both uncertain they have the drive in them for it.

 “Sometimes, I wish I had a different job. One where I could – dress the way I wanted and just be me. No one would question it.” Edward admits, his head on Étienne’s shoulder where it’s nice and safe. “I mean, I know that there are issues everywhere and that even if I worked at a bank a client could decide not to touch money I handled because I’m gay, or something, but I feel that there’s an extra layer in a school. Because of the kids.”

 He’s heard stories – on the news, online, of parents accusing teachers – hell, even more open-minded straight teachers of turning their kids “gay” because of class discussions or certain books they’d make their kids read or some other stupid thing. He knows they live in a pretty tolerant and open-minded city, but it doesn’t mean everyone is on board and there’s no way of knowing which parents would be on their side and which ones would want them out. Unfortunately, there is no survey that’s sent out at the start of the year along with photo authorisations.

 “I hate that I always have to fucking lie and pretend.” Edward concludes with another frustrated sigh.

 “Me too,” Étienne adds.

 They fall quiet for a moment, lost in their own thoughts, imagining what their lives could be like if there wasn’t this constant stress, simmering in the back of their minds, dictating their every move – watching and waiting for them to tumble and fall.

 “I don’t know if it makes things easier or harder that we work in the same place and that we’re together, but I know I’m glad I’m not alone – that if anything, we can at least get support from one another and maybe, hopefully, with time, we’ll find out who the allies are.”

 Edward looks at him and scrubs a hand over his face, before he offers him the smallest of smiles. It’s not much, but Étienne will take it.

 “I guess you’re right,” He pauses and then looks over to Étienne, “Okay, but what were the actual odds that in a job composed mostly of women, the only two male teachers would not only be queer but end up together?” He huffs a laugh and Étienne grins, joining him.

 “Probably very little, but I don’t regret it.”

 He means it, truly. He’d obviously enjoyed being friends with Edward, but he likes where their relationship has been going and he hopes that – even if it’s a little unconventional, that they’ll manage to overcome whatever hardships and insecurities will come their way.

 “Me neither.” They might have to make concessions because of their work, but Edward has vowed to himself, years ago, that he wouldn’t stop himself from being happy and living his life because of what others might think of him. He might not be willing to go to battle over every issue, but he’ll find ways to make this work. They both will.

 “For the record, you can keep the shirt – it looks really good on you.”

 Étienne laughs, this time for real, and it’s closer to his usual carefree laugh, before he playfully hits Edward on the shoulder.

 FIN

[silenceofthecookies]

Black Clover matchup for @nakunakunomi

Matchup for me :D No gender preferences I am a biromantic ace. 

Your age: 24 

Your general appearance - most striking features, your fashion style, etc.

Answer: Chubby mermaid lol. Long curly hair almost all the way down my back. Red at the moment, but I’ve had all colors of the rainbow. Ears pierced multiple times and a septum ring whenever I leave the house. My general style is comfy alternative, loads of black, boots and ripped jeans but baggy shirts and sweaters. I don’t like drawing much attention to my chest because my boobs are a very prominent feature. Hourglass figure with extra minutes: so there’s boobs and ass but also a tummy and such. I have dimples when I laugh and a whole bunch of moles over my body. I like a killer liner and mascara but don’t necessary wear makeup every day. I like 4 tattoos and waiting for that fifth one. 

Your MBTI, western zodiac chart, etc.

Answer: INFP (mediator), Scorpio sun, Libra moon, Pisces ascending. Year of the rat. I’d say my MBTI type is pretty accurate and while I don’t have many of the bitchy traits often assigned to Scorpios, I do have some of the passion towards things I care about and a generally jealous and stubborn personality. 

Your personality, how you perceive yourself and how people around you perceive you.*

Your hobbies, interests, life goals etc.*

Answer: Stubbornness and some jealousy (that is always internalized) are my worst traits. I lack self-esteem and confidence and get anxious in new situations. Once I am around people I trust I blossom open and become more giggly (lame jokes and such) my humor is about 50% puns and 50% sarcasm. I am quick-witted with ‘mean’ remarks but I will never intend to offend or cause harm to anyone. Tough exterior comes with a soft interior. I tend to overthink and worry a lot and will usually put a friend’s needs above mine. I often have people coming to me for advice or to help them calm down. I will be honest in the softest way possible, even if the things I need to say aren’t necessarily nice. I want my friends to flourish. I get easily distracted by cute things and can really enjoy beautiful sights, nice food, good company… i am heavily introverted but I do need the handful of people I care about to flourish myself.

I accumulate facts and know loads of small things about a lot of things. I like adding in fun facts every now and then but sometimes I come across as a know-it-all and then I will get really self-conscious about it. I either talk up a storm nonstop or turn into myself and get really really quiet. 

Your favorites, likes, dislikes, pet peeves, fears.*

Answer: anything creative: reading and writing, drawing (although I’m terrible at it), pixel art. Singing, making music, playing instruments, DIYing things. I am quite good with makeup and wigs, and I cosplay but the sewing I still struggle with. I love acting and gaming as well although I don’t spend that much time on them.

I am super heavily interested in true crime, cases, and the psychology of murderers and such. I tend to get overexcited talking about such cases, never celebrating violence, but just being very fascinated by what a human brain can do. I also just really love riddles, mysteries, and solving them.

I’d love to become a teacher or a professional dog trainer. I love animals more than I love people and if I could work with dogs every day of my life that’d be amazing. An unrealistic goal would be to sing for a living, or do musicals. But I don’t think that’s ever gonna happen. 

Any additional info you would like to share, fun facts, etc.

Answer: food! Mainly Asian dishes (from all of Asia) and pastas. I love cooking and experimenting in the kitchen and trying out new things to taste. I’m vegetarian but not vegan and I will try everything that’s not meat or fish at least once! I love all kinds of animals, not only your average pets. I will also go pet the cows, and in the zoo you’ll have to drag me away by my ankles from the reptilians and the aquarium. I am fascinated by them and I love them. I love plants and flowers, and if you’d let me be, Id have a small jungle in my house with all kinds of plants and animals. I just love taking care of them, talking to them…

I dislike arrogant people, people who are rude against serving staff. I dislike impoliteness and laziness in the sense that other people are suffering from your lack of work. If I am in a group project I will never procrastinate because it can drag the whole group down, it’s okay to be lazy if it only impacts yourself.

I am afraid of loneliness and the fact that everyone I know just pretends to like me while talking behind my back and secretly hating me. I am not easily startled by monsters, animals, and such, but I do get a little paranoid if I have to walk in the street in the middle of the night. (a side effect from the true-crime consumption) 

Answer: I think I added most things in the other walls of text (sorry they are so long). But when it comes to relationship and goals around that there are these things that I think are most important: 

Love language is mostly quality time and words of affirmation, and that’s what I like too, as well as soft PDA and affections: cuddles, kisses, hand holding… I like spending time together, and even more so I like actually doing things together: sharing hobbies, going out, dates, dinners, walks, adventures, travels… all the things! :hellmo: 

Patience, because I have some anxiety issues as well as fear of commitment. I will definitely need some reassurance. Also consent is the sexiest thing in the world, and that’s coming from an ace person.

Honesty, liars are out. I have a lot of trouble trusting again once there has been a breach of trust. White lies for surprises and such is one thing, but any intentional lying in order to avoid confrontation is an absolute dealbreaker. 

I match you with...

Dorothy Unsworth!

Despite her being asleep a lot of the time, Dorothy notices more than she lets on. She can see straight through the front someone is putting up and see what they are really feeling. This really helps in letting her support you, who is always supporting others. She’ll remind you that sometimes you need to take a break or that you need to focus on yourself instead of others. With her infectious smile and her own absurd sense of humour, she’ll do her best to cheer you up, or at least to distract you from whatever is bothering you.

Dorothy is very patient and has no rush with any relationship. Everything has its own time and waiting for that time to come it part of the fun, right? She’s also very understanding of your anxiety and is able to adjust her energy to the situation, keeping it low when you need comfort and reassurance, and going straight back to high when you’re feeling better and just want to have some fun.

Dorothy may seem very cute and girly, but she is interested in true crime as much as you are. The gruesome details of a case are not wasted on her and she will gladly talk with you about these cases. In her time as a magic knight she has seen her own fair share of true crime as well and she will gladly share anything that’s not confidential or dangerous.

Her love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. Not a day will go by where Dorothy won’t hug you from behind, kiss you between your shoulder blades and tell you she loves you. She loves loving you and making you feel loved. When she’s in love, keeping her lover safe, emotionally and physically, is her number one priority. She won’t give you even a second to doubt her love for you whenever you’re together. She’s very conscious of your boundaries and makes sure to not cross them.

Not a single lie will leave her mouth, unless as a joke, which will be very clear when she tells it. She is a knight, an enforcer of justice and peace, and lies are not in her book. Teasing, however, very much is, though she prefers to tease you with truths instead of with jokes. If there’s truth to the teasing, it’s just that much more effective.

You want this small strong captain to be putty in your hands? Cook for her, or cook with her. Dorothy greatly enjoys the good things in life and food is definitely on her list of good things. Her preference is mostly sweets, but she knows she needs to eat healthy food as well and she’s not picky when it comes to her dinner. The only need she has is that it tastes good, and that’s something you with your amazing culinary skills can definitely provide!

[troop-scoop]

Bathroom Confessions

Request: heyy, can I request a Steve x reader piece? The reader is shy and is struggling with her insecurities and trust issues, maybe at one point she breaks down and Steve is just there to hold her and make sure she knows how much she is loved? Tears? Angst? I feel like I need that rn.. thank you ♡

Warnings: Swearing, Anxiety, fluff, angst

Word Count: 1.196K

• • •

The ceiling vent of the bathroom was on, soaking up the steam that came from the sink’s faucet, that you’d turned on to mask the sound of your sniffles and crying. 

The worst part of being anxious and shy? Crying over simple things, but being able to cover it up, because you’re too shy to let people know how you felt. There was no reason for your boyfriend to be looped into ‘people.’ Steve knew you better than a lot of people you’d gone to school with the year before, and the people who’d be going to school with in the fall. Yet, you never felt comfortable enough to tell him what was going on in your head.

There were reasons for your trust issues with him. You’d been really close friends in those awkward years of late elementary school, through most of middle school. And then eighth grade happened, and he grew close with Tommy Hagan and Carol Perkins, who tried to make your life a living hell.

And Steve left. You knew why, and you understood. He got even more validation from being around them, they supported him, and they boosted his popularity. And then in high school, Steve was more popular than both of them.

You still didn’t know what made him realize that he’d been the biggest prick those few years, but you could tell he was serious when he apologized to you. 

Things went from there, but you’d never been able to bring yourself to tell Steve that you had those trust issues, which was a problem, and you knew that. 

And you were still scared that he’d leave you behind again. You knew he wouldn’t, you knew his love for you was real, but it was hard to accept those things as facts.

A heavy knock came on the door, and you heard the creak of someone leaning against the white door frame. 

“Occupied!” You shouted over the music that was probably blasting in whoever’s ear that was knocking. Smoothing out your jeans even though they were fine, and wiping away a few stray tears. 

“Yeah? Didn’t notice.” The sarcasm dripped from Steve’s voice as he tried to open the door, only to realize that it was locked. “Babe, what’s wrong?” You didn’t answer, just resting your elbow on your knee and placing your forehead in your hand. 

“Nothing! Just go back to the party, I’m fine.” 

It was a lie, and Steve could see right through it. He’d been your best and only friend once, and now, he was your boyfriend, who wasn’t trying to pry, but needed to know you were okay. After all, the party was his idea. “Y/n, Let me in for like ten minutes, then I’ll go back. Please?”

Bargaining was one way that Steve tried to get you to open up. And ten minutes of not being alone wouldn’t completely kill you. Would it?

Reaching a mascara stained hand up to the door knob you unlocked it, and as soon as you did, the door slowly opened and Steve peaked his head in to see where you were so he didn’t squish you with the light weight wooden door. 

When he saw you sitting on the clean floors that Mrs. Lansen - the mother of the party thrower- always had clean, with tears in your eyes, and grey streaks from your mascara running, he came all the way in and closed the door behind him, locking it. 

Steve sat on the toilet lid across from you. One thing he’d learned from moments like these was that he couldn’t always rush to you and start coddling you like he wanted to. 

“Y/n, what’s going on?” He questioned, reaching out for your smaller hand, while he placed his solo cup on the white marble countertop. You gave him your hand, letting him incase your smaller one within his own. 

“I told you, I’m fine.” You lied again, running a hand through your hair while he turned the faucet off and lowered himself down to sit on the tile with you, his back against the toilet. 

“I’ve known you since third grade, I know when you’re not fine.” Steve was sure about the way he said it, and knew he was right when you looked down at your lap in shame. 

How were you supposed to tell him that you had trust issues? Or that you were scared he was going to leave your life again? The issue of him ditching you for Tommy and Carol had been agreed upon never to happen again for any reason, or for any other combination of people that were or weren’t the asshole and the asshole’s sorry excuse for a girlfriend. But just by looking up at Steve’s face, that seemed a bit fearful, since the last time he’d gone into a bathroom with a girlfriend at a party, he had his heart broken, you knew you had to tell him.

“It’s stupid.”

Steve shook his head. “No, it’s not.” He told you, a thumb rubbing a half circle back and forth into the back of your hand. “If it has you crying your makeup off in Kevin’s bathroom, It’s not stupid.”

You chuckled and nodded a bit, knowing that it wasn’t a stupid reason. “I just. . . I can’t help but keep thinking that you’re gonna leave again. And I’m scared to let you in. . . again.”

Steve’s face softened a bit, and his brows furrowed as he nodded, watching you try to hold back your tears while looking up at the ceiling to avoid his gaze. Feeling like you just asked a question that had an obvious answer in English or history. 

“I’m not going to leave you again.” He came to sit next to you, pulling your  legs to be draped over his lap as he brought your smaller frame to be held by him. “I’ve been an asshole for the past couple years, I know that. . . But especially to you. I acted like I never met you.”

It had you crying harder, gripping onto his sweater as your head rested on his shoulder, forehead against his neck while he  held your thigh, right above your knee. 

But it reminded you of all of the lone lunches you spent in the hallway by your locker, listening to your walkman and having nothing to do, and no one to talk to. It was lonely, because your name was known, but not in a good way. Your older cousin pulled some shenanigans in highschool before she went off to college in Seattle. Leaving a bad connotation to your name, leaving most teachers not liking you, as well as the older students who passed down stories to kids your age. 

“I’m so sorry. I love you, so much. I should’ve realized it then.” 

Steve sound close to tears too, leaving a firm kiss on your head while he held you in the bathroom. A very different environment surrounding you than outside the cold room. 

“It’s okay. . . Just don’t leave again, not unless you have a good reason.”

Steve nodded, still holding onto you tightly. 

“I love you too, by the way.”

• • • 

Add yourself to the taglist for oneshots!

@jxnehxpper​

[smarti-at-smogwarts]

Theo Abbott Profile

Identity

Name: Theodosia -Theo- Jane Abott

Gender: ....-throws peruvian powder bomb-  gender neutral tho she doesn't have the label for it.

*She goes by she/her pronouns though

Age: varies depending on when I’m writing her. 

Birth Date: January 11th XXXX

Species: Human

Blood Status: Half-Blood.

Sexuality: Queer af. Bisexual. Arospec. 

Alignment: Chaotic Good. 

Ethnicity: Mixed. 

Nationality: English

Residence: Godrics Hollow. Abbott home. 

Myer Briggs Personality Type: ENFP-T [ Turbulent Campaigner ] 

The Mage

Wand: Ebony. Dragon heartstring. 13 inches. Quite Flexible.

This jet-black wand wood has an impressive appearance and reputation, being highly suited to all manner of combative magic, and to Transfiguration. Ebony is happiest in the hand of those with the courage to be themselves. Frequently non-conformist, highly individual or comfortable with the status of outsider, ebony wand owners have been found both among the ranks of the Order of the Phoenix and among the Death Eaters. In my experience the ebony wand’s perfect match is one who will hold fast to his or her beliefs, no matter what the external pressure, and will not be swayed lightly from their purpose.

As a rule, dragon heartstrings produce wands with the most power, and which are capable of the most flamboyant spells. Dragon wands tend to learn more quickly than other types. While they can change allegiance if won from their original master, they always bond strongly with the current owner.The dragon wand tends to be easiest to turn to the Dark Arts, though it will not incline that way of its own accord. It is also the most prone of the three cores to accidents, being somewhat temperamental.

Animagus: Pine Marten

Misc Magical Abilities: Unknown undecided magical ability. ( will be edited when I figure what i want her hphl ability to be) Animagus. 

Boggart Form: Theo is terrified of being forced to be something she’s not or being trapped. This shows itself by a square room with no windows popping up in front of her. The walls the start closing in on her. 

Riddikulus Form: The walls collapse like the sides of a carboard box. 

Amortentia ( what she smells like) :  Parchment and ink. Crisp night air. Cinnamon cloves Pine trees.

Amortentia ( what she smells) : Misc smells that represent different people from the Taghd Lynch Defense Squad/her closest friends. Firewood burning. Lemon cakes. Fresh cut grass ( from the quidtich pitch) 

Patronus Memory: She’s at the Hogwarts common room goofing around with her housemates and friends. Basically her realizing she’s found a place to be herself and accepted as she is.

Mirror of Erised: Her happy and content and herself in her own home with her writing and her cat and her friends and the fuck away from Godric’s Hollow. 

Specialized/Favourite Spells: 

At Hogwarts_ Anything you can use on a prank. Some defensive spells as while Hogwarts was fairly accepting of her she did get a bit hassled ( there’s always that one occasional asshole) about both being a girl in the quidditch team and how she chooses to dress out of uniform. Some offensive spells from when she got into fights/duels in the halls along Taghd and Teddy. Her best spells are the ones used to sneak around her mother and grandmother. 

Out Of Hogwarts_ While not a spell, apparition becomes her most used magical feat as she likes to visit her friends as they all settle into her adult lives. She also learns a bit of healing spells from either Adelia or Teddy ( and at both their insistence that if she’s going to be getting into trouble out there she should be able to patch herself up a bit. ) 

*In the Taghd Dies Verse where she becomes an auror she adds a lot of offensive spells to her arsenal “best defense is a good offense right?” Theo no.

Appearance

Faceclaim: Saoirce Ronan 

Game Appearance: N/A 

Height: 5′6′’ by year 7.

Weight: Average weight for her height. 

Physique: On the thin side. Somewhere between rectangle and hourglass boy shape wise. Has muscle on her due to Quiditch. Strong facial features.

Eye Colour: Light blue 

Hair Colour: Dirty Blonde as a child. Darkens with age.  Often untidy from running or flying and held up/back.

Skin Tone: Fair

Body Modifications: None

Scarring:  Has a set of diagonal scars on her leg from when she tried to play with a splintered bat during a quidditch match. A few random scars from scrapes from school that got a little too rough before being broken up. 

Inventory: parchment. Quill. Ink. A Claddagh ring from Taghd. Random and assorted books. Notes from her friends. Her wand. Hair pins. ( she keep forgetting she has them there so she just stuffs more in her bag. No one knows how many she has in there by now, not even her)

Fashion: https://www.pinterest.com/xhowling/theo-jane-abbott/#fashion

*Theo tends to prefer Hogwarts robes and wizard fashion in general more as they’re more gender neutral. ( as in both genders wear robes though they differ in style and in Hogwarts case they do not differ at all from one gender to the other) so she wears them more.

 When it comes to muggle clothing she’s most comfortable on cable knit sweaters and plaid ( though she favors the former a lot more)  because she used to steal Taghd’s though if she has to “dress up” she’ll wear more  masc fashion. She’s influenced by Teddy’s fashion sense a bit for that. She also wears her Gryffindor tie even after leaving Hogwarts but with dress robes/a shirt and vest instead.

She tends to prefer more muted colors with like accents of one color or one point of color (i know nothing about fashion please bear with me. Hopefully the pinterest helps)

Allegiances

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor. 

Ilvermorny House: N/A 

Affiliations/Organizations: Gryffindor Quidditch Team. Taghd Lynch Protection Squad. Gryffindor house. 

Professions: Student. Writer/Anthologist. Becomes an auror in the Taghd Dies Verse.

Hogwarts Information

Class Proficiencies:

Astronomy:   ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆☆☆☆

Charms:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆☆☆☆

DADA:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆☆

Flying:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Herbology:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆☆☆☆☆

History of Magic:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆☆☆

Potions:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★☆☆☆☆☆☆

Transfiguration:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆☆☆☆

Electives:

Apparition

Muggle Studies 

Study of Ancient Runes

Quidditch: Plays as Chaser and Beater reserve. 

Extra Curricular: Does writing count?

Favourite Professors: I think she’d like both  Atticus Irwin Grimsley ( @cursebreakerfarrier ) and Toby Moore ( @unfortunate-arrow ) 

*Will probably add teachers as more details of the games are release

Least Favourite Professors: Pretty much any teachers that have issues with how she dresses or are of the snobby pureblood category are a safe bet. 

*Will probably add teachers as more details of the games are release

Relationships

Misc Siblings: None. Theo is an only child. 

Father: Unknown atm. All Theo knows is he was a muggleborn wizard.

Mother: Emily Abbott 

Love Interest: N/A  

*arospec but might have fwb/flings as she figures things out and possibly a platonic life partner/partners in the future. Most likely will end up living with friends as family either way. ( the friends she lives with may even have spouses of their own just...a bunch of friends living in a house as family) 

Best Friends:  Taghd Lynch ( @unfortunate-arrow ) Lu Morrison ( @rosievixen )  Arthur -Teddy- Elllsion ( @cursebreakerfarrier ) Adelia Selwyn ( @that-ravenpuff-witch)

Rival: She hates Cillian Lynch ( @unfortunate-arrow) and Ernest Ellson ( @cursebreakerfarrier​) bc they are unkind to her boys/two of her closest friends. I can imagine they do not like her that much ( seeing as Theo’s about as secretive and sublte about not liking people as a wrecking ball through the wall) 

Enemy: tbd 

Dormmates: Lu Morrison ( @rosievixen) 3rd and 4rth room mates unknown atm. 

Pets: Theo adopts a niffler in the future once she’s out of Hogwarts. Her family has very strict rules about owning pets though at some point in Hogwarts she adopts a stray cat and somehow manages to keep it a secret even when/if she has to go back home for Holidays. 

Closest Canon Friends: tbd

Closest MC Friends:  Taghd Lynch ( @unfortunate-arrow ) Lu Morrison ( @rosievixen )  Arthur -Teddy- Elllsion ( @cursebreakerfarrier ) Adelia Selwyn ( @that-ravenpuff-witch ) Fred Morrigan ( @ljthebard1​) Gabriel Sapieha ( @lizzieparkerhphm ​) Danny Gibbson ( @catohphm ​ )

Background/History

Pre Hogwarts: Theo was an “indiscretion” born to Emily Abott and an unknown ( to most) muggleborn wizard. The family  kept her, fed her, made sure she knew the proper way for an Abott to act, but there was no affection to this and Theo sometimes wondered if it wasn’t only out of duty that her family did all this. After it becomes obvious that Theo who dresses in boy’s clothes, never keeps a comment inside her mind, and buckles against the propriety forced upon her more and more as the years pass is not going to be changing to fit what her family thinks she should be; it’s decided to send her to Hogwarts where she’ll at least be kept out of sight.

4th Year: Was sent to Hogwarts by her family to be kept out of sight and hopefully shape up ( with the added sentiment that if she does not, at the very least she’ll be out of sight) Met Taghd Lynch, Lu Morrison, Teddy Ellison and Adelia Selwyn. 

5th Year: tba

6th Year: tba

7th Year: tba. Graduates with her friends. Though she undoubtedly has to leave some behind as I can see her befriending underclassmen.

Out of school: At some point she moves back closer to Teddy either because she received the news that Taghd died or that Taghd almost died. ( depending on the “canon” or “Taghd Lives AU”)

At some point she might adopt a daughter who is as chaotic as she was and then some ( though much more open and less angry/defensive because Theo’s a better parent than her mother ) 

In the Universe where Tagdh dies she becomes an Auror alongside Teddy.

At some point she cuts her parents off Completely ( no letters, no firecalls, nothing absolutely nothing) whether this happens because they did something that just got to her too much or it was more a case of her getting away and going “wooow they’re actually horrible to me” remains to be seen but she’ll come to rely on her friends for moral support and also to figure out how to live on her own without their monetary support.  

Spoils her friends’ kids so so much ohmygosh she loves them.

Old Age & Death: tbd

Personality

 Temperamental and impulsive ‘’jump now, think later’’/’’it looked like a good idea at the time’’ sort of person. Disaster Bisexual. Gets angry quick but it fades just as quickly. Frank, warm, empathetic. Honest-sometimes too honest- The one in a friend group to try to make people laugh. Will encourage you to hex someone who hurts you ‘’hell I’ll help you/cover for you’’ (That Friend) the opposite of the common sense friend. ( ‘’sounds illegal, I’m in.’’ )

Theo’s general status is defensive which to her can often be loud and assertive ( and a bit abrasive though she’s usually sorry about that last one when it happens) due to insecurities that took root during her time with her mother and her family To wit, she believes she needs to defend the way she is subconsciously since it was often the case at home and this leaks into her personality. When she met all her friends her first setting was “im like this and Deal with it” expecting resistance but when she met none ( as her friends all accepted her for who she is) she became a lot less so. ( shes still loud and chaotic as that's also part of who she is but she’s a lot less defensive afterwards.)

Has a really loud laugh. When she’s goofing with her friends or talking to them and laughing with them you can hear it echo through the halls.

Is sort of...a loud person in general.

Theo’s a passionate individual and incredibly stubborn when she sets her mind to something.

Skips the sad/crying phase and goes straight to angry. Might or might not have “/don’t cry/show weakness” complex. Her other emotions however are expressed be they annoyance, happiness ( her laughter Echoes through the corridors when she’s happy about something) excitement ect ect ad infinitum.

Her poker face is  shit though. She couldn’t keep her opinions through herself if she tried. Her face will say them for her.

She’s fiercely fiercely protective of her friends and found family. ( see: “would happily hit Teddy’s dad with a blugger if she finds out about him being abusive  ‘’curses out ppl who say mean things to Adelia or Lu and half the time will wind up throwing down for it” and of course “I’m actually going to Kill Cillian” circa Taghd’s duel in the Taghd lives AU as examples)

Misc:

Theo’s animagus form is a Pine Marten. She learned it specifically so she could get out of the house which she often found overbearing due to her mother, grandmother, and aunts attitudes towards her.

While her family kept her, fed her and clothed her it was done out of combination of duty and not wanting to waste magical blood. They might have love for her but it’s very clearly overridden by ( if not outright contingent on) their need forTheo being the kind of child they think she ought to be which she is very much not and only grows to stray more and more from it as she grows up) 

Theo sometimes does suspect they did it more out of duty than any love but tries not to think about it deeply or think about them at all if she can help it ( and with an entire castle to explore with friends and mischief to manage with those same friends it becomes quite easy) 

She has a fascination for the muggle world because it was her father’s world and the part of her her family shuns and kept her from knowing about.

She’s often in trouble with either Taghd or Teddy ( or both) or Lu ( or all three) and the teachers might or might not have a running tally of which combination causes the most chaos. 

Theo learns Gaelic from Taghd-they start with the swear words and then she just really wants to learn the language. 

Whereas Taghd tends to complain about getting dragged into fights by Teddy and her but does it Theo’s more like you feel the air shift next to you and...yup. Yup she’s there.

If her friends are in a fight nine out ten times she’s there too. That one of ten times she’s not there, she’s going to be soon.

Theo’s a night owl and can often be found the last in the common room reading or writing or talking to Taghd or Teddy or Lu. Sometimes she’ll sneak out to fly. ( specially on really clear nights)

She’s perfected the art of wolfing down breakfast in the last minutes before going to class or even just grabbing a piece of bread and running off to class because of this. As it'll lead to her oversleeping.

Adelia’s her mom friend and possibly one of the few people that can tell her what to do without her going ‘how bout i do anyways.png’

She writes a lot and can be seen talking animatedly about it mostly to fellow writer friend Teddy Ellison. 

She’s bit Taghd’s brother Cillian in her animagus form at least once. It was the subject of laughter in the Gryffindor table for a good week after. Theo, ( who keeps her animagus form a secret aside from her closest friends because its a way she has to get away from people or hide or cause trouble when she wants to) becomes very interested in whatever’s in front of her  and trying not to laugh when it gets brought up. 

She gets really attached to Teddy’s mom ( and is a bit jealous of how nice a mother her friend has)  as she both from her experience and what she gathers from Tagdh and other friends of hers she didn’t...think parents could be nice? Like empirical evidence just overall does not seem to be in their favor tbh (specially mothers) and she’s mystified by her and overall thinks she’s wonderful.

This also means she dislikes Teddy’s dad that much more ( though she keeps it to herself around Teddy’s mother ) because as far as she’s concerned he doesn’t deserve her or Teddy with what some of  his actions are. 

Tends to be physical with her close friends ( bumping shoulders, linking arms as they walk hand on shoulder) though on different levels depending on the different dynamics and how comfortable they themselves are with it.

She hates all the propriety she was brought up with ( one of the bonding things she Taghd had was their shared lack of decorum) but one of the things she enjoyed to learn back in Godric Hollow was calligraphy. She stills practices it as a hobby, keeping multiple colors of ink in her room at Hogwarts and later in life. She likes making calligraphy for her friends and also when they’re adults makes calligraphy for each of their children with their favorite stories. 

Finally did a proper profile for Theo.

I’m hoping to get back to doing more content ( including other profiles for mcs I’ve mentioned and going back to my hphm kiddo Marti and writing out gameplay now that I have more spoons. Figured this was a good place to start.

Profile skeleton by @hogwartsmysterystory​

[kalijhomentethi]

💭

–o–o–o–o–o–o–o–o–o–o–o–o–o–o–o–o–

Send a ‘💭’ to learn what my muse thinks of yours.

“Bokkie,” Akali raises an eyebrow, grinning slightly. “You already know what I think—and feel—’bout you. Or is the ring on your finger not enough proof?”

It’s a rhetorical question of course; they both know very well how much they mean to each other. Plus, Akali was in a giving mood anyway, with the holiday season and all. She’s more than willing to shower the love of her life in compliments, which she already does often enough on her own. An additional gift, if you will. She’s got something more special prepared for Kai’Sa later, when they decide to exchange presents.

Speaking of the holiday season though…

Little snowflakes fall by the window, painting a cold yet majestic scene outside. Their lawn is covered in a thick blanket of snow, with Akali-sized snow angels here and there. If one were to look more closely, there are also snow angels a size bigger beside them, ones that only one particular bandmate could make. Various festive ornaments decorate the room they were in, and many more lively baubles were put around the rest of the house. The Christmas tree at one side of the room glitters and lights up in patterns, quietly celebrating the occasion in all its tree-ness.

It’s warm enough inside, but Akali’s wearing a sweater specially made for her. Gotta match with her lovely honey, after all. This’d be their what, third Christmas together? Or is it fourth? Either way, this is only their second Christmas as a married couple. Their second Christmas as wives. As wives. She lets that sink in, feeling a cozy sensation settle in, grin turning a touch shy. Time sure does fly. She moves to take Kai’Sa’s hand in hers, running a thumb along the glinting ring, before she places a kiss on the back of her wife’s hand. “I’m not even sure where to begin.”

So many good things to talk about, so many memories that stood out to her. Though maybe a good place to start would be what brought them together in the first place—K/DA.

“...You, babe, are the best damn dancer I know. No bullshit. I’ve seen a lot of people choreograph steps and make up moves on the fly, but you? You’re number one in my book. And my heart.” She lowers their hands and takes her partner’s free hand as well to gently intertwine their fingers.

“It’s clear you love what you do. Each step’s a perfect fit and in time with the beat. Your students are in the right hands with you as their kick-ass teacher. They’re learning and having fun. They’re pretty lucky, but I’d say I’m even luckier, ‘cause I got you right here with me. My firefly.” She tilts her head up a bit to affectionately brush the tip of her nose against Kai’Sa’s, giving her a cute little smile.

“‘Sides, you know how hard it is to focus on what I’m supposed to do when the music comes in? Your stage presence is insane. Wait, actually– your presence in general is insane, even when you aren’t doing anything. It’s hard enough to keep my eyes off you when you’re near, but when you dance, you’re in your element. It’s impossible for people to not give you their full attention. If I didn’t have to perform, not gonna lie, I’d gladly step aside and watch you move solo.”

She’s rambling now, miraculously not stumbling over her words while she speaks what’s on her mind. And Kai’Sa is on her mind 99.9% of the time.

“And I don’t care what anyone else thinks, you’re the best singer too. Just don’t tell ‘Ri and Eve I said that.” A playful wink. “Your voice is something else, Bokkie. Reaching high notes like they’re nothing, harmonizing like a pro, and rapping like a god? Woo.” She makes a sound, nearly swooning and reminding her for a second of the high note she (unbelievably) reached with the help of the other in the latest song they put out. “Good shit. And for the record, you don’t actually need to sing to sound great. I could listen to you talk the whole day if you’d let me. It’s very…” The tips of her ears turn pink. “...Uh, nice.”

Nice is one way to put it. She likes listening to Kai’Sa the things she’s passionate about.

“Something that’s also nice though is your cooking. Man, it’s so good. No words. No words in the dictionary to tell you how good it is, I swear. You sure you’re not secretly a professional chef? I wouldn’t be surprised if you are. I come here and eat something you prepared then I’m like, this is it.” Her expression makes her look like she’s about to cry, letting go of the other’s hands to bring up her own in a gesture. “The best food to ever exist. Made by the most wonderful woman to ever exist. What a combo.”

‘Most wonderful woman’ is no exaggeration. "You’re the most accepting and supportive person I’ve ever met too. You made me feel like K/DA’s where I’m meant to be. You’re the family I never had.” She allows herself a small, lopsided smile. There’s a lot of emotion packed into that sentence.

“We’ve both got our own little quirks,” She glances at the pods that hover behind Kai’Sa just as her grin widens, the barest hint of fangs showing. “But that didn’t stop you from reaching out and being… Well, you. And I love who you are. You didn’t even change a thing about the way you treated me when I told you what I am. Hell, I think you actually like my other side.” Her eyes glint mischievously at the other when she says this. Of course Kai’Sa liked it, the same way Akali found her symbiote to be endearing and eager to please while around her. They just had a soft spot for one another.

“More importantly though…” Her arms circle around the dancer’s waist, tugging her close as Akali steps into her space, into Kai’Sa’s familiar and comforting warmth. “You’re home. Wherever I go, my thoughts somehow always go to you. ‘She doin’ alright?’, ‘this reminds of her’, ‘I wonder if she needs anything’, or ‘I should take Kai’Sa here next time, she’d love this.’ And when we’re not together, all I can think about is what I’d do just to be in your arms again. No matter what happens, I keep wanting to come back to you. My day isn’t complete without you.”

Akali tries to grasp more words, to tell Kai’Sa how she makes her so happy, but the whole thing was making it difficult for the rapper to simply focus on one aspect of her. How could she, when there’s so many things about the other that she loves? Fidgeting, her fingers tap against the dancer's back, the sweater soft to her touch as she comes up with something to better express herself. While she puts her thoughts together, bits and pieces of what she really wants to say, she reaches a hand up to brush a stray bang from her partner’s face. She feels strangely self-conscious just looking at the other, like they were the only ones existing in this moment.

You beautiful, beautiful woman. I’m so lucky to have you, she thinks to herself before she puts her hand back around Kai’Sa’s waist. Or maybe she said it out loud. She didn’t know anymore at this point.

“Never in my life did I think I’d end up getting married. Or even end up loving someone, holy shit. Didn’t know I was capable of that. But let me tell you: marrying you, the woman of my dreams, was the best damn decision I’ve ever made. So… Thanks, Kai’. For choosing me.” She closes the distance between them, meeting Kai’Sa’s lips for a heartfelt kiss. She pours her everything into it; rough yet tender, pure yearning and overflowing with affection for the wonderful woman in her arms, just in case the dancer had any more doubts of how Akali felt about her.

Even with how long they’ve been together, it feels as good as the first time they kissed. Kai’Sa’s lips are as soft as ever, Akali has the same butterflies in her stomach and the fluttering sensation of her heart. Her fingers curl and hold onto the back of the other’s sweater, as if to keep her from going away. She presses herself as close to Kai’Sa as possible, tilting her head and unconsciously raising herself up on a tiptoe the slightest bit, craving all the contact and warmth her partner has to offer.

She’ll never get tired of this. She could stay like this forever, kissing Kai’Sa, if it weren’t for their need to part for air.

When Akali eventually pulls away, she stays near enough that her breath can still be felt on her wife’s lips, gazing up at her with a barely-there smirk, the fond look in her eyes never leaving her face.

“We still have to cook dinner but,” She glances up at the little plant dangling above their heads. A cleverly-placed mistletoe by hers truly. “...I think that can wait for now. Merry Christmas, Bokkie. Love you.”

And with that, she connects their lips once more, intent on showing Kai’Sa just how much she loved and appreciated her.

[believingispowerfulmagic]

“Last Christmas”: An OQ Advent Fic

A/N: Happy First Day of OQ Advent! Looks like my streak of being on Day 1 continues! I hope you all enjoy this story, inspired by the classic Christmas song by Wham! It makes me itch to write an Outlaw Queen story every time I hear it and now I’m doing so. I hope you enjoy it!

I know this year hasn’t been a very good one for many, many reasons. But as we approach the end of it and look forward to a new year, I hope you find happiness and peace. Happy holidays, happy December, and good riddance to 2020!

“This is a great party, Regina. I am so glad you decided to have it this year,” Mary Margaret said, helping to throw away some dirty dishes that didn’t make it to the garbage cans Regina had set up around the lower level of her house.

Regina smiled, feeling lighter and jollier than she had in a long time. “It felt right, you know?”

“I do,” Mary Margaret said, setting the garbage pail down. She accepted some hand sanitizer from Regina as she added: “Daniel would be so proud of you if he could see you.”

“I’d like to think so. He always loved our annual Christmas party and I felt like I let him down the past couple years not having it,” Regina confessed.

Her friend shook her head. “I think he understood why you couldn’t have it. I think he would’ve been the same way if the situation were reversed.”

Left unsaid was how close that almost came to be. The firefighters and police who responded to their accident said that had the car rolled a couple inches to the right, Regina would’ve been the one who died while Daniel would’ve lived - and probably wouldn’t have required all the surgeries she had needed after being extracted from the wreckage of her fiancé’s car. One patch of black ice and a faulty airbag had taken so much from her in one fell swoop - the man she loved, her ability to have children and her love for the Christmas season. It was hard to believe in hope and joy when her life felt devoid of both.

Until now.

Now she had Graham.

Mary Margaret’s husband David had introduced her to him, though his intention was not to set them up. Graham had become his partner at the sheriff’s department around Christmas the year before and since he had just moved to town, David and Mary Margaret had invited him over for Christmas. They had done the same for Regina and so the four of them had a small and cozy Christmas together. She had spent the afternoon talking with Graham and for the first time in almost two Christmases, she almost felt cheerful.

She and Graham started to spend more time both with Mary Margaret and David and without them. Both agreed it was nothing serious, just two people who enjoyed each other’s company spending time together, occasionally overnight in the same bed. Around the summer, though, they decided to evolve their friends-with-benefits situation into an actual romantic relationship, agreeing to date each other exclusively. Fun beach dates and steamy nights soon turned into cozy autumn afternoons curled up under blankets and watching movies. With winter officially starting and the first snowfall predicted within a week, she was looking forward to ice skating dates and hot toddy nightcaps.

Most of all, she was ready to feel love, hope and joy again.

“I never thought I would see that smile again,” Mary Margaret said, pulling Regina from her thoughts.

“What smile?” Regina asked, tilting her head.

Her friend chuckled. “The I’m-so-in-love-and-very-happy smile. You used to have it all the time when Daniel was alive and then it went away. Now it’s back, so I’m guessing things are going well with Graham.”

“They are,” Regina replied. She looked around, making sure her boyfriend wasn’t lurking around to overhear what she was going to say. Even though she didn’t see him, she lowered her voice as she said: “Let me show you one of the things I’m getting him for Christmas.”

She turned around and opened a drawer on her hutch, pulling out a small thin box. Regina held it out to Mary Margaret as she removed the lid, revealing a silver keychain with his initials engraved on it. Two keys were already attached to it.

Mary Margaret gasped. “Are those the keys to your house?”

“Yes,” Regina confirmed. “Graham and I discussed him moving in when his lease is up at the end of January. So this is my way of formally inviting him to move in with me.”

“Oh, Regina!” she gasped. “That’s great!”

Regina nodded, putting the lid back on and returning her present back in its hiding spot. “I didn’t think I would feel this way again but I do. And I hope it never ends.”

“I am so glad,” Mary Margaret replied, hugging her. “And I’m also hoping that you could talk to someone for me about that.”

That surprised Regina and she pulled back from her friend. “You do?”

Mary Margaret nodded. “Remember the new teacher I asked about inviting?”

“Yes,” she replied. “You said he had just moved here and didn’t know many people in the area.”

“Right. Well, he lost his wife earlier in the year so this is his first Christmas without her,” Mary Margaret explained.

Regina felt a pang in her heart, understanding the pain he had to be going through. That first Christmas without Daniel was the hardest and she had almost not even put up the decorations that year, not feeling able to celebrate. Mary Margaret had convinced her to put up one strand of lights and Regina had found comfort in them, spurring her to decorate the rest of the house in order to alleviate her pain for at least a month. It worked, though she still didn’t think she would ever truly be happy or celebrate Christmas again.

Yet here she was.

But she couldn’t imagine getting through that first Christmas without her friends, especially Mary Margaret and David. They supported her and were there for her through all her tears and fears, ready with a comforting word or hug. If she could bring some comfort to Mary Margaret’s new colleague, she would feel as if she was starting to pay it forward.

“I can talk to him,” she agreed. “Where is he?”

“Let’s go find him,” Mary Margaret said, taking Regina’s hand. She led her out of the dining room and across the foyer into Regina’s living room. All the other guests were in there, separated into their own little groups as they laughed and chatted while Christmas music played in the background.

Regina waved to those she passed before Mary Margaret came to a stop in front of Regina’s armchair. Sitting there was a man about their age who wore a dark green sweater over a white collared shirt and paired with black pants. He seemed startled, looking up at them with wide blue eyes. “Um, hi, Mary Margaret,” he said, revealing a slightly British accent.

“Hi, Robin,” she replied, pulling Regina forward. “I wanted you to meet my friend, Regina Mills. Regina, this is Robin Locksley.”

He stood and shook her hand. “Thank you for inviting me. You have a lovely home and this is a great party.”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself,” she said, though she wondered if he had been sitting in that chair since arriving rather than socializing.

Mary Margaret beamed. “I’m going to let you two get to know each other better. Excuse me.”

She left and Regina rolled her eyes, chuckling a bit. “Sorry about her.”

“That’s okay,” he said, though she noticed he stopped looking her in the eyes. He then shifted from foot to foot. “I don’t know what she told you but I’m not interested in dating anyone right now.”

Regina played back her friend’s words and bit back a groan. This man didn’t know anything about her and so would no doubt assume their mutual friend was trying to set them up, which was the last thing he needed after losing his wife.

“I have a boyfriend,” she assured him. “You’ve probably met him, he’s around here somewhere. That’s not why Mary Margaret wanted us to meet. She, um, told me about your late wife and that this is your first Christmas without her. I have some experience with that.”

He raised his eyes to meet hers again, unmasked pain in them. “You do?”

She nodded, motioning toward the chairs. “Have a seat.”

Continue reading on FFN, AO3, or Wattpad. 

[sylvanfreckles]

Impaled (FebuWhump 04)

I had an extremely crappy day at work today...like coming home crying level crappy. So, as a defense mechanism, this came out. Granted, it was always going to be a slightly humorous take on this scenario, but this went a little...extreme.

You can also read this on AO3

Fandom: Supernatural Summary: Who would have thought, in the end, it would be vampire clowns in a busted-up barn in the middle of nowhere?

Not the Winchesters, that's for certain.

And certainly not Castiel, who did not get resurrected again just to die at the hands of a monster with a fourteen-year grudge.

* * *

After everything..after Chuck and Free Will and rewriting their own lives...it all came down to this.

A musty old barn in the ass-crack of nowhere, facing down a gang of vampires of all things.

“So, what, now's when we find out Gordon isn't actually dead?” Dean muttered, standing back-to-back with Sam. “Or, ah, what's-her-name...the hippie one who only ate cows. Think she's here?”

“We watched Lenore die,” Sam reminded him. “And I killed Gordon. I don't think this is either of them.”

“Yeah, unless Chuck brought them back,” Dean shot back. “Cas?”

Castiel, who had been silently and efficiently dispatching vampires turned back at Dean's question. “I find it unlikely Chuck would have considered either of them important enough to bring back from Purgatory.” Another vampire roared up behind him, and without even looking Cas stabbed him through the throat with his angel blade.

Dean had to admit, the flutter of Cas's new calf-length trench coat was pretty impressive as the angel spun around to yank his blade from one vampire and plunge it into another. Jack had apparently hooked his adoptive father up with some new duds on his return from the Empty, so Cas wasn't exactly rocking the whole “holy tax accountant” look anymore.

On the one hand, the long black trench coat was absolutely badass. The way it spun around Cas as he moved in battle reminded Dean of the shadows of wings cast on the barn ceiling all those years ago, and it had a much more stylish cut that emphasized the muscle on the angel's powerful frame.

On the other...the rainbow-colored sweater vest was a little much. But the combination was something that was just so essentially Jack they really couldn't complain.

“Dean!”

Pulled out of his daydreams by his brother's warning scream, Dean managed to deflect an incoming vampire and roll out of the way, narrowly avoiding the dangerous-looking nail that was poking up out of one of the support beams. Damn, they really needed to stop confronting vampires in fallen-down old barns.

Cas hauled him to his feet and manhandled him to one side, a blast of holy power from his other hand obliterating yet another vampire clown. “How many more are there?” the angel shouted over the sounds of battle.

“They just keep coming,” Sam panted. They were cornered now—Cas's angel blade was still embedded in a vampire a few feet away, Dean's machete had gotten notched when it had gotten stuck on a particularly dense vampire spine, and Sam was favoring his right arm as though chopping off so many heads in such a short amount of time was giving some kind of hunter's carpal tunnel. “Are we sure...I mean, is Chuck really de-powered?”

“You think he planned for one of us to die in some shitty barn in the middle of nowhere?” Dean scoffed. “Dude. The man's a hack, but he's not that bad.”

“Enough!” A fourth voice—because, really, the vampire clowns had done nothing but snarl since the Winchesters had busted down the door—cut through the air as another figure strode into the center of the barn.

It was, predictably, another vampire. This one was obviously the boss, judging by the way she was dressed—halter top and jeans instead of baggy clothes and a clown mask. Seriously, why clowns? Was someone trying to make this place Sam's worst nightmare?

“Well, well. If it isn't the Winchesters.” The woman flipped a lock of long, dark hair back over her shoulder. “I'm sure you're surprised to see me.”

Dean stared at her for a moment then glanced over at his brother. Sam shrugged. “Right,” Dean said after a few seconds. “You're...the Ringmaster!”

Sam let out a groan and stumbled back to lean against the wall of the barn. Dean couldn't see much of Cas's face but the angel's body was radiating out disappointment. “Come on,” Dean protested. “Clowns? The circus?”

“Enough!” the woman snapped again. “You killed my entire clan fourteen years ago. I've waited a long time for this day, when my new clan would find the Winchesters and we would put an end to them!”

Dean let his gaze travel up and down the woman's body again. She was still familiar, but that wasn't really enough to jog his memory. “Sweetheart, you're gonna have to be way more specific than that. Fourteen years is a long time.”

Cas shot him a dirty look—though whether it was over the sweetheart comment or Dean's snarky tone of voice he couldn't tell.

The woman hissed in anger. “Jenny? I had been chosen to join Luther's clan? You kidnapped his mate, Kate? Killed all of them to get your father and your precious Colt back?”

Dean sucked in a breath through his teeth. Oh, right, he remembered her now...not that she needed to know that. “Sorry. Doesn't ring a bell.”

Jenny gave a shriek and charged toward him. Cas intercepted, easily turning her momentum against her. Sam charged in, the machete in his left hand now, easily cutting through the seemingly endless swarm of vampires.

With a rueful glance at his ruined machete, Dean took up a position to cover Cas's flank. Maybe he couldn't charge back into battle like Sam, but he could at least keep the small fry off the angel's back.

“This reminds me of the place we first met, Cas,” Dean called over his shoulder.

Cas grunted. “Hell was nothing like this, Dean. This barn has no resemblance to Alistair's pit.”

“What?” Dean shook his head. Right, sometimes he forgot about the whole raised-you-from-perdition thing. Maybe he needed to get that handprint tattooed back on or something...if he could face Sammy's teasing. “No, I meant the barn, man. Where I tried to shoot you.”

With a twist of his hips Cas flipped Jenny onto her back and wrapped one hand around her throat. “You also stabbed me,” he retorted. He was on limited power while he was on earth, but he had enough juice to burn Jenny out of existence.

“Still. Memories.”

There was a ragged cry from one of the vampire clowns—one of the few Sam hadn't managed to decapitate in the last five minutes (really, their heads just popped right off if you got the angle right...his high school history teacher had been so wrong). The vampire charged at Cas and the angel wasn't quite able to defend himself before he was driven back against one of the barn's support posts. Dean shouted a curse at the vampire and took a swing at his head.

The machete stuck. Dean swore and tugged it free, then swung again. The vampire went down, but it took a few more blows before he finally managed to separate the head from the body. “Dammit,” he swore, wiping his forehead on his sleeve. “Sammy?”

“Forty-seven,” Sam panted. He was doubled over, hands on his knees. “That was forty-seven vampire clowns. What the hell is happening?”

“Maybe Chuck's still in charge,” Dean theorized. “Cas?”

The angel grunted. Dean twisted around to see Cas staring down at his own chest, then the angel slowly peeled back one lapel of his trench coat. “Oh. I've been impaled.”

It was the rusty bar Dean had narrowly avoided earlier. It was longer than he'd thought, and the tip was poking out of Cas's chest right below his heart. “Cas?”

“I'm all right,” Cas reassured him, though the spray of blood he coughed up wasn't very reassuring.

“Oh god,” Sam fisted both hands in his hair. “Wh-what do we do? Should we call Jack? Do you need an ambulance? Or, wait, a spell? Maybe, maybe there's something in the car...”

“Sam, this is nothing,” Cas protested. He gripped the bar with one hand, frowning a little when he wasn't able to push himself free. “Though I could use some assistance.”

“No-no-no-no!” Sam waved his hands frantically. He'd pulled a bandanna out of...somewhere...and was trying to put pressure on the wound around the rusty bar. “We'll just...we can control the bleeding, and-and Dean can call an ambulance, and they can take care of you at the hospital.”

“Sam...”

“I didn't even get to say good-bye last time,” Sam whispered.

Ouch. Damn. Dean felt that one, right in his gut. That spurred him to action. “Hey, it's okay,” he said, quietly. He placed a hand on one of Sam's arms and leaned in closer to study the wound. “You said it's not bad? 'Cause I'm pretty sure some of that's supposed to be on the inside.”

Cas coughed and the wound gurgled as he sucked in a breath. “It would be a fatal wound if I were human,” he admitted. “But it cannot kill me. It is merely...uncomfortable.”

“There, see?” Dean knocked his shoulder against Sam's. He was worried, too...he would never get used to seeing Cas injured, no matter how long they were together. Especially not since the angel always tended to get the more...dramatic injuries. Like now, Sam and Dean were coming out of the fight with barely a scratch between them, while Cas had been impaled on a piece of rusty metal.

The absurdity of the situation finally struck Dean. The piles of dead vampire clowns. The woman from their past, who had apparently been planning revenge for fourteen years even though they hadn't even remembered her name.

And, most of all, their badass angel-of-the-lord (even if the lord in question at the moment was their adopted kid) in his rainbow sweater vest and badass trench coat staring down at the metal protruding from his chest like it was personally offending him.

Oh. I've been impaled.

He couldn't help it. He burst out laughing.

Sam turned, scandalized. Cas looked on with resigned amusement.

“He-he just,” Dean wheezed. “Like that snowman...just...”

Cas gave a long-suffering sigh and gripped the piece of metal in one hand. With a mighty twist it broke away from the barn's support beam, and with another wrench Cas had pulled it free from his body and dropped it to the floor. His legs buckled beneath him, but Sam caught him and eased him down, that ever-present bandanna pressed to the wound in Cas's chest.

“Oh man...it's gonna be okay, Cas. We'll...we'll figure this out.”

“Dude,” Dean staggered over to kneel next to them, tears of laughter running down his face. “He's fine, just...just let it go.”

“Stop quoting Frozen and put your hand here!” Sam snapped, yanking Dean closer. “We need to stop the bleeding!”

Cas just stared at them patiently while Sam rocked up to his knees to apply more pressure to his wound. Dean tried to help, he really did, but the entire situation was just spiraling too far out of control. If Chuck really was still writing their lives he'd obviously gone insane.

Sam peeled the bandanna back to check Cas's wound and there was...nothing. Just the smooth, colorful knit of his rainbow-colored sweater vest. Even the blood stains were gone, as though Cas had never been injured.

With a relieved sigh, Sam sank back onto his heels. Cas pushed himself up on his elbows, idly brushing at the straw that was sticking to his trench coat. Dean picked up the rusty piece of iron that had impaled Cas and flung it across the barn.

“Not today, Chuck!” he hollered after it. “No one's dying in some shitty barn in the middle of nowhere, you hear me?”

There was a companionable silence for a moment, then Sam suddenly shot to his feet and looked around. “We forgot about the kids!”

* * *

Jack sees his father both as a badass unstoppable force, and as the caring dad who always has time for him. Thus, when designing his wardrobe for his current resurrection, he went with the odd combination of cuddly rainbow vest and Neo-style trench coat. Oddly enough, it suits Cas more than anything else he's ever worn.