#the sum of her interference was 1) anything with a skeleton on the front or written by rl stine is too scary

[inklingofadream]

I just finished my latest nonfiction bedtime book, which was Paperback Crush

It's a very fun tour through the themes and esoterica of 80s and 90s scholastic book fair fare, the things "we all" remember (more or less; many of the same series were still going strong in the 00s)

And I cannot emphasize enough. How little I am included in "we all"

Not a single book until the chapters on "Danger" and "Terror" when we get to books about ghosts, kidnappings, etc

The stuff she talks about at the beginning of every chapter/section? Establishing the candidates for first YA novel or the beginnings of children's books about the genre to hand?

Like 70% hit rate. The long list of Stratemeyer Syndicate detective stories? Not only was I into Nancy Drew, with her tens of thousands of reviews per book on Goodreads, and Trixie Belden, with her thousands, I read (thrift store find) The Dana Girls, who are lucky to have a book break 100 ratings or reviews, and who have shot up fabulously in popularity because when I was a little kid I could not, for any price, find additional books on ebay

Haven't read a single book in the "Romance" section... except of course for the supporting point for romance being a big driving force in all eras of the history of English-language publishing, Pamela, or Virtue Rewarded. For a class, sure, but I do regret renting that one instead of buying my own, and will probably end up doing so eventually (Its first half-ish could go up against any "Dark Romance" pull of today, except for how the author absolutely does not know that). It's literally the only one I read as an adult, though.

Sicklit YA, especially then, has a lot of vibes of Victorian etc era stories about angelic, virginal heroines driving others to self improvement with their illness, it's true! What's that? Your example? What Katy Did! Not merely a moderately-obscure pull in which the heroine suffers a debilitating spinal injury and eventually is cured when she cheers up a little (lol. lmao. yes really, with a side of "not being a tomboy" to bolster that), it is of course. Unironically. Second grade Ink's actual answer to "what's your favorite book?"

Not even in a hipster way. I didn't even realize it was that old until, in something of a pattern, I was old enough to find out from Wikipedia that it had sequels. Which, in something of a pattern, I could not lay hands on- but more because the original was an audiobook in our local library than difficulty of acquisition, they're public domain now. By the time I was up to the physical book version I had been gifted a vintage copy of What Katy Did At School :)

So Like. If anyone finds a book covering through a nostalgic lens the literature from the childhood of those growing up any time between 1850 and 1970 let me know, I guess!

[snails4martianrights-blog]

Some Stuff in Northern Vietnam

^ Some weird fruit I was given

I recently went to Vietnam for about five days, but upon arriving there with a huge list of things i wanted to do, coupled with what the locals were saying about how long it would take to get everywhere, I concluded that you should probably take at least two weeks to properly appreciate Vietnam, more if you can. For example, I heard great things about Halong Bay, but it takes around five hours to get there from Hanoi. Same for Sa Pa Terraces. 

Anyways, I’ll tell you what I did get to do.

I always end up in different airports, and I’d like to note that the Taipei airport for my connecting flight was quite nice, and very clean. In fact, everywhere I looked there was some random old lady idly grazing the already clean floor with a broom, not a care in the world. I want that job. The Taipei airport also featured a store called "Indigenous Taiwanese Souvenirs," from which I, of course, bought genuine Polish cherry rum liqueur candies and happily watched the lady sweep the same spot on the floor for an hour. 

After enduring the visa process in the Hanoi airport (I have never had an official take my passport and not give it back without any explanation for twenty minutes before), I got a cab to the Hotel La Siesta, which I found a deal for on the internet. The room was about $50 a night, which is over a million Dong, the currency in Vietnam. The scariest thing about Vietnam was the large numbers I heard every time I bought something. 

Hotel La Siesta

^ The room I got in Hotel La Siesta

This place is phenomenal and I can’t say enough good things about them. Not only was it super inexpensive to stay here, but it earns it’s four star rating. The rooms are clearly set up for a romantic getaway- flower petals on the beds, hard wood floors, and cute bathroom windows. I certainly didn’t mind, though I was by myself. 

The free breakfast in the morning is a mind blowing mix of all the best foods ever. There was dim sum, bruschetta, spring rolls, sushi, French pastries, and basically everything else. Wow. 

If you're into the party life, this hotel is also well situated. It's in a fun area with easy access to basically everywhere, and you can walk to some nice night life.

My room was right across from the spa inside the hotel and that is a damn good spa. I enjoy massages in Vietnam far more than Thai massages in Thailand because I wasn't crying internally. This was a good time and I would certainly recommend a massage from this hotel and also this hotel itself. 

The staff is in a class of their own. “Helpful” is a complete understatement. They offered to arrange transport to my next stop as well as call another hotel to set me up a reservation. They personally talked me through my travel plans and went through the logistics of my plan with me (thereby forcing me into the conclusion that I was not going to be able to see everything I wanted). They helped me arrange a train ride in a sleeping car to Dong Hoi the area of the Phong Nga caves, some of the biggest caves in the world. They offered to continue to help me in my travels after I’d checked out, though I told them I would be fine.

Hanoi

Hanoi is a dense area with a lot of shops, bars, historical monuments, mopeds, outdoor cafes with little plastic stools, bubble tea, pho, and fishing boats on the water. A lot of the time, people will sleep on the floor of their shop until someone walks in. If you walk to the back of the store you’re liable to find yourself in someone’s house. Sometimes you can see a family’s entire living space just from looking at the front of a store, because they generally have a whole front wall missing instead of having a door. They pull down a metal security door at night to close up. 

^ Shrimp

^ Random street

^ Store full of local antiques

^ The only gate left standing after the French invasion. apparently the French couldn’t quite crack it open, but there is a cannon ball mark still present on the upper left part. The rest of the wall has been destroyed, presumably by the French.

There is a road of official government buildings in Hanoi that look like they might have been reclaimed from the French, painted yellow, and decorated with communist banners and symbols. These buildings look like beautiful old manor houses, and maybe they once were. All of the windows were open on most of them. Maybe they don’t have air conditioning?

^ This picture doesn’t really do these building justice, but I was taking the pics as communist soldiers stared through my life, so I thought I’d be fast.

Journey to the Phong Nga Caves

So I have been salivating to get the chance to explore the largest discovered cave in the entire world, Son Doong. Son Doong has its own forest and separate ecosystem inside, as well as some camping opportunities. Sadly, this is a trip you need to be a hard core caver for, which involves being well prepared gear-wise, as well as arranging in advance with the Vietnamese government to pay $3000 for entrance to the cave. 

Son Doong is, on top of the other issues, a "level four" cave, which apparently means rappelling from the ceiling into a dark hole. Not my style. That’s why I went into a different set of caves in the same park. 

I rode the sleeping train down to Dong Hoi. The train itself is a sardine tin for people, and does not have a nice bathroom. Or nice anything else. It works though, function over form. On the way back, I did meet some nice people at the train station, including one middle aged lady selling food on the side of the track. She didn't speak English but she was able to use interpretive dance to tell me that my train would be late. I sat down on one of her stools and bought a beer and some peanuts. We became insta-friends and she took me behind her store to show me where she made the food and we took selfies. When my train came, she cheerfully kissed my face and shoved me toward the train. 

^ The train station with a bunch of vendors on the side

^ The train sleeping car. Not the fanciest way to travel.

^My newest best friend. We drank beer and she showed me where she makes the food in a random armchair out back near the bathrooms. She charges people money to use the bathrooms. Pretty slick. She also gives free peanuts to people who buy stuff. 

On the train they wheel around a giant bowl of soup for people to eat from, but most people brought their own food. Someone grabbed my leg at around 5 am and said my stop was next, so I sat up, got my stuff and disembarked. I found myself in the countryside. I found two guys with backpacks that looked lost and were speaking German and I asked (in English) if they were trying to go into the caves. They said yes and so I tagged along with them.

I ended up being thrown onto a tour bus with a bunch of Europeans and other pasty flavors, as well as Sunny, our local tour guide. Sunny was a cheerful, yellow shirted story teller, who delighted us with cave information and tales of the valiant communists who united the country under the freedom of the sickle and hammer during the Vietnam War, using the caves as an underground network, naturally. Despite the interference of the deluded but well-meaning capitalists (she said as she gazed deeply into my deeply neutral Bald Eagle Stare), the northerners used the rough terrain that we were traversing to hide from their enemies and deliver much needed supplies. Sadly, one of the supply routes became blocked when a group of children played too close to a boulder which fell and trapped them. They were fed through a crack for nine days, but stopped taking the food. In more recent times, the rock was able to be moved without destroying the cave and the skeletons removed. She also told us that every Vietnamese household has a tiger because every Vietnamese man claims his wife is one.

Sunny would not stop giving us water bottles. I think she didn’t want us to overheat, but I’d already brought my own so I made a joke that I looked like I was trying to smuggle water across the border. I started hearing people try to dissect the joke in several different languages, obviously not understanding why I thought it was funny. But there was a Canadian who said she knew we had had a water smuggler all along. She was watching me. 

Paradise Cave

This cave was previously thought to be formed by a river or inlet of ocean flowing through a crack in the earth, but now they know it was formed independently, when a bunch of underground water began to cut out minerals about 400,000 years ago. This cave is the longest cave in the world, though not the largest. Cutting through the cave is a wooden walk way, but it only goes 1 km there and back. It does not go all the way through the cave for conservation reasons. It is a shame but would also have taken a few days to walk all of it. The entire cave looks like melted peanut butter. 

^ Paradise Cave entrance

^ Inside the cave

^ Still exploring along the wooden cave walkway

^ This is a spot where a bunch of people were taking selfies. It is also I think  near where some guy said to me, “I don’t speak English. You are nice looking and I hope you have a good day.” Take notes gentlemen.

Lunch

We had lunch in an outdoor restaurant, which seems to be the norm here. The food came in giant leaf platters. Sunny decided to leave and never come back, so she yelled “bye!” and then left us all, and we were confused.  

We finished our lunch and milled around haphazardly inside a storm of frantic people handing out cave equipment. Eventually we used our collective unconscious to migrate in the general direction of the start of the cave.

^ FOOD LEAF FUCK YEAH

^ Food leaf restaurant

^ View of the end of the Dark Cave adventure from the restaurant

Dark Cave

Dark Cave was a fun adventure, and I couldn’t take my camera into it, because you have to swim the whole way. You are supposed to climb a two story tower from which you zip line into the cave entrance. After finishing the zip line, you climb into the water in your bathing suit, hard hat and life jacket and swim to a wooden walk way inside. Then you swim and walk through a really dark bat cave with what look like volcanic rocks lining the tall overhang, and climb through a slippery dark passageway inside the cave. We ended up in a super dark area (dark cave, weird that it would be called that), and there was a small cavern where we took off our life jackets and swam into what was basically a mud bath. The water was flowing slowly toward the back of the cave where it disappeared into a small crack going under ground. Fresh water came into the cave from the other side and the bottom and sides of this cavern were clay. I naturally floated at about chest level without effort, and everyone was giggling and making clay dicks on the wall and throwing mud at each other. One guy collected so much mud that he had an armful and was pretending to be a mud merchant selling his wares.We were told after about a half hour that we had to leave :(

We then went back out to the boats outside the cave and went over to the mini obstacle courses over the water and a dangerous looking water swing that no one died on but probably could have.

We were led back to the restaurant, where a bunch of puppies had come out to play in the middle of the day. They gave us rum and coke, and we watched the puppies run around. It was a good time.

^ This is a different view of the end of the Dark Cave adventure, but if you’d like more information or pictures, the below link is the tour guide page.

http://sondoongcavetour.abstravel.asia/dark-cave-tour-with-kayak-zipline-1-day.html

Dong Hoi

I got dropped off at sunshine hotel in dong hoi and didn't stay at the super boonies around the caves because I figured it would be easier to access the train that way. I was torn from my fellow mud merchants, and deposited at the hotel. I was initially concerned about a last minute hotel reservation being expensive and boy was it. A whole 400, 000 dong. That twelve dollars really set me back. I cried so hard that my own personal tears solved the world water crisis.

The hotel did have free mopeds to borrow but I figured I would hurt myself if I used one. I spent a long time watching fishing boats on the beach instead.

^ That twelve dollars got me two beds and hard wood floors.

^ So it seems like in most Vietnamese bathrooms, the shower head is just sort of on the wall like this and you just shower in the middle of the floor. It’s not as weird as it seems.

^ Nice restaurant with a good view of the neighborhood 

^ Crunchy egg rice with cucumbers

^ Shrimp

^ Part of the small bay near Dong Hoi

^ This church had a sign nearby declaring it to be evidence of American war crimes. Clearly it has been destroyed and possibly bombed.

^ Neat building I saw