#the subtle angst with her in canon even pre-black water has me in a chokehold tonight | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

deiscension · 1 year ago

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Isn't it crazy how M.itski's Nobody is a deep dive on SQX's character development.... 'I just want somebody near me / Guess I'm a coward / I just want to feel alright'. 'And I know no one will save me.'

The heartache of realizing you never knew what it was like to be wanted, you didn't even know what it was like to be needed, and it wouldn't have mattered anyway because what you had wasn't yours and you still took it. You still took it and you couldn't give it back even when you tried because you weren't strong enough to say the right name when it mattered the most and you weren't brave or just enough to understand and condemn the one who poured blood all over your hands when he handed you a fate you were undeserving of. And really what does it say about you that you mourn what was despite the fact it never should have been? What does it say about you that even when you had it all there were pieces missing? Of course you'd never turn to resentment. That's not who you are, it never has been. It's not your right either. You'll find a way to die happy but that's not really the same as peace or contentment. Are you allowed to want after you've had? Hard to say.

#▌ ◈ ooc ; ⌜ he fucking ascended again! ⌟#an oversimplification to a degree to be for sure but huh. hm!#i genuinely might do an analysis on all the different ways this song applies to sqx #not tonight though its way too late #also 'i'm just asking for a kiss' i can't entirely extrapolate what i'm thinking into coherent thoughts but!#even if sqx's character arc isn't focused on any such thing as romance it's still so fitting #all that power and influence. all they want are true friends.#i have my own interpretations of sqx and hx but if we're going strict no subtext taken into account canon #how INSANE is it that xl is sqx's first no strings attached friend #applying this to my modern/au verses too-- all that history #she just wants companionship just wants connection can't stand the idea of being an empty collectible trinket #but so much is already decided for her and about her and even if she has her fun its an uphill battle #thinking thoughts. as we can see. thinking many thoughts.#she does just want a kiss! then she'll be alright!#the subtle angst with her in canon even pre-black water has me in a chokehold tonight #distraught over 'too busy with my brother's scolding'#shi wudu ur one of my faves but i hate you and you stink also.

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