#the students trying to interrogate dream and getting the most bizarre non-answers of all time

[cuubism]

truly the best dreamling fic trope is:

hob and dream: being weird as fuck and engaging in excessive pda

hob's students, colleagues, & staff at the new inn: 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

[jacksgreysays]

DOS, Shikano Nara & Nara Twins, time travel

it could have gone like this:

Shikano comes home after a somehow simultaneously mind-numbing yet also frustrating day of making sure Hiruzen and Danzo don't drive Konoha into war, bankruptcy, or other disaster only to find that his oldest son has somehow multiplied.

He sighs. He looks to the heavens. He resists the urge to pinch at the bridge of his nose, to drive away the stress headache that had already been building throughout the day.

He is, of course, proud that Shikaku is clever and innovative--such a thing will prove useful when he becomes clan head--but the boy is attracted to the most dangerous of ideas and more often than not Shikano has had to get Kasuga to fish him out of the black.

"... son, I know we're the clan of shadows, but I've already told you that the kage bunshin is beyond our purview." Shikano is Chief Tactician, Jounin Commander. He knows all the horror stories of shinobi trying jutsu beyond their means and burning from the inside out, guttering their Will of Fire far too soon.

It's not a perfect kage bunshin, missing an arm, but it looks alarming solid and alive.

One of them, the real one, turns to the other and smirks. The other, the clone, looks away and sighs.

"We don't look that similar," says the clone, bewilderingly enough.

Shikaku redirects his pleased smirk to Shikano. "This isn't a kage bunshin, Father," he says, even more bewilderingly.

A third teenager, thankfully not a clone of Shikano's oldest son, enters the room while consulting a sheaf of papers. She's not someone Shikano recognizes which is only alarming considering she's wearing the Nara clan mon and he should know every clan member on sight.

"I think I might have figured it out," the girl says, pulling a pencil out of thin air and making a mark on the papers in her hand, "But it'll probably require additional--oh, hello."

Shikano narrows his eyes at the stranger, before glancing over at his son and the non-clone by his side.

"Son, an explanation would be appreciated."

The three teenagers exchange silent looks. Unsubtle, silent looks.

"Uh, yeah," his son stammers, the other two raising matching eyebrows with skepticism. "Father this is Shikamaru and Shikako, uh, well, Nara."

Shikano gives in to the urge to pinch at the bridge of his nose.

---

it should have gone like this:

Shikano comes home after being handed a headband and a report with so much blacked out that all that is visible is his youngest son's name. Redacted reports. For him? Konoha's Chief Tactician? The Jounin Commander?

He seethes. Who do Hiruzen and Danzo think he is? Some fragile civilian who doesn't know the weight of war grinding at his bones? A fool who doesn't know the scent of poor cover up of a truly heinous SNAFU?

Shikano as a father will mourn his son. Shikano as a clan head will mourn his heir. But the Shikano that has for decades served this village--this Hokage, whatever sick and twisted dynamic he has with his councilors--will never trust the administration that has betrayed him. He understands war. He understands loss. He understands, begrudgingly, acceptable losses. He will never understand the deliberate obfuscation of the truth, of intel that would prevent such a tragedy--such a waste--from ever happening again.

Shikano comes home, heart heavy, mind churning, dreading having to explain to his wife the loss of their second son, having to explain to his clan the loss of their heir.

Shikano comes home and before he can reach for the door to his own house, it opens. The girl who opens the door is pretty, but not beautiful. Unremarkable and almost unrecognizable, except for how she cost him one heir and to see her now, on this day, after he has lost another in a far more permanent way cannot be borne.

"What are you doing here?" Shikano snarls and the small smile that was on the girl's face drops immediately, exchanged for a confused, startled fear.

"I-I," the girl stutters while stepping back, away from him but further into the house.

"How dare you come here!"

Shikano, objectively, knows that he is not being fair. He is taking his anger and heartache out on this wide-eyed girl who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. But he is still a man, for all that he is known for his logic and unbiased reasoning, and he makes mistakes.

"I--"

"Leave her alone," a boy says, joining them in the entrance of the house, standing between them as if Shikano were the intruder here. For a moment, Shikano is swept away by deja vu. This is not Ikoma, no, but Shikaku--younger, impossibly so. It is a jarring thought, enough so to clear away the frenzied rage and realize that the girl also is far too young to be the one Shikaku left the clan for.

"Who are you?" Shikano asks, too late to be met with anything but distrust and apprehension from the teenagers in front of him. They exchange glances between each other and stonily stay silent.

"Father?" a familiar voice says and for a moment, Shikano wonders if perhaps this is a dream: imperfect reflections of his oldest son and the near civilian that stole him away, and now the voice of his fallen son.

But reality asserts himself. This is not a dream, miraculously enough. That is indeed Ikoma standing whole and mostly unharmed before him.

"My son," Shikano says, barely holding back his tears, swallowing down a relieved sob. He reaches out, clapping a hand on Ikoma's shoulder, feeling the warmth and the strength, alive.

Ikoma indulges him--perhaps he has an idea of what news he received, never mind how obviously incorrect it may be--before stepping away, back towards the dining room, where Shikano's wife already sits. The two silent teenagers edge around him, as if afraid to get too close, before taking seats in front of partially eaten snacks and half empty cups of tea.

Ikoma takes a seat of his own and gestures for Shikano to do the same. He does so, almost stupefied, gravity doing most of the work.

"Father, this is Kako and Kamaru," he says, gesturing to the teenagers. They do not give Shikano another glance. "They were the ones who extracted me from my mission and brought me here unnoticed. My teammates were the ones who--" Ikoma stops as if he cannot bear to continue.

"There is something wrong in Konoha," the girl, Kako, says in an almost hushed tone. As she should, such a statement could be considered treason.

The boy, Kamaru, grudgingly says, "We need your help to get rid of it."

If Shikano's hunch for what the something--or, rather, who the someone--is, then he will be more than glad to help.

---

but it actually went like this:

Shikano wakes up in a very comfortable T&I cell.

He knows it is a T&I cell despite the cozy and casual trappings because he helped Seki Hijiri design it just last month. They'd been discussing the validity of intelligence gathered by harsh interrogation--or, worse, torture--and how such unreliability would lead tactics astray.

They hadn't done anything with those designs--supposedly there wasn't enough in the budget to make such renovations--but Shikano knows Seki will hold on to those for when the opportunity arises.

Or, rather, she had held on to those and the opportunity already arose.

Shikano sighs, pinching at the bridge of his nose. "Watch my students, Hiruzen says. They won't be any trouble, Hiruzen says. They're just learning fuinjutsu, Hiruzen says. They're only genin, Hiruzen says, what's the worse they can get up to?"

Either Hiruzen is foolishly optimistic or he has no idea what his students are capable of. Probably both.

Shikano sighs again.

"Are you alright?" a young voice says.

"Just contemplating some treason," Shikano responds, before reconsidering his words. Obviously he was joking, but sarcasm isn't exactly--

"I know that feeling," the voice assures. When Shikano removes his hand from his face he sees that the speaker is as young as he had thought. She's only a little older than Hiruzen's students, though her presence in the T&I cell means he can't underestimate her.

"Is that why you're the one speaking to me? My treasonous thoughts?" Shikano asks her.

"Not really, although I don't think your thoughts currently count as treasonous." The girl shrugs. "I certainly wouldn't mind if you wanted to talk about how awful the Sandaime and Danzo were, but I'm primarily here for this," she says and her shadow approaches his before stopping short, a familiar greeting from a fellow Nara.

Ah, yes, that makes more sense.

He nods and completes the connection, his shadow overlapping with hers and, in the way known only to Nara, he understands the weight of her soul.

"What is your name?" she asks, even though her compatriots must have already spoken to Hiruzen's students and the fact that they brought a fellow Nara to him means they already know.

"Shikano Nara, fifteenth head of the Nara clan," he answers. Then, "And you?"

Her shadow deepens with something a little sly, a little amused. "Shikako Nara."

The lack of appellation intrigues him, for all that he doesn't show it on his face. She senses it anyway.

"My brother is heir, but since we're twins Dad decided to name us both Shika," she explains.

They sit in silence for a moment, shadows still connected.

Identity no doubt confirmed, Shikano asks, "What happens now?"

"We'll reunite you with your team and find temporary housing until we can figure out how to reverse the, I'll be honest, frankly bizarre seal that sent you here and then you'll go home," Shikako informs him simply.

"That's it?" Shikano asks, skeptically.

"Well, no, but you already knew that." And because their shadows are still connected, he knows how sorry she feels about what comes next. "In order to preserve the timeline, we'll have to erase your memory of anything pertinent you learn."

"I'm the Jounin Commander," he protests, "I can better protect Konoha with the things I learn here!"

Shikako shakes her head, disconnects their shadows, and stands up. She doesn't meet his eyes. "You can't change fate," she says, before leaving the cell.

That's the last thing he remembers.

Shikano wakes up, Hiruzen's students unconscious on the ground around him. They are in the same training ground that they were in before, safe in the heart of Konoha, and yet Shikano knows things have changed.

He stares at the clouds.

Then, after returning the three troublemakers to Hiruzen, Shikano goes home.

~

A/N: I'm gonna be honest, dona, I had no idea who Shikano was: I was split between him being Shikaku's dad or the head during the Warring Clans Era. And I'm not really aware what his widely accepted fanon personality is like. I mean, all I got is that he may be bigoted against non-clan shinobi--at least, enough to disown his heir when he decides to be with the woman he loves... I did consult with the discord and Voldecourt gave me a pretty decent starting block so fingers crossed I did it justice...

For the Could/Should/Actually Fic Ask Box Event!