#the struggle of being a metalhead lmao

[vinnydoesnotexist]

i hate living in a small town, theres barely anyone here who has good music taste

[libraryofgage]

The Prince and the Metalhead (2)

Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually

Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two | Three | Four Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One | Two | Three Harley Quinn One 10th Doctor and Rose One | Two (on the way!) Scooby Gang (there are plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz) Jedidiah and Octavius (from Night at the Museum) One Queen Clarisse Renaldi One | Two (you're here!)

I know I just posted part one but I've got Thoughts for this AU that include: Steve's first birthday in Genovia and then his 16th, his conversation with his grandmother about attending public school in America for his senior year, and then we get into him attending Hawkins High and meeting Eddie!

So, yeah, plans lmao

Anyway, if you see any typos, no you didn't ;)

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"You'll have a rotating course schedule. Mondays and Wednesdays will focus on math and social studies. Tuesdays and Thursdays will be science and literature. Friday will be Royalty lessons and the history of Genovia. We can also include an elective, if you'd like."

Steve blinks, staring at Sue for a moment before glancing at Jonathan and Robin. Jonathan is looking through a book of photography and Robin is idly scratching behind Dart’s ears. "Will we all have the same elective?" Steve asks.

"Not unless Jonathan and Robin want to join you," Sue says, looking at Steve expectantly. She's got a pen at the ready to write down what he says, and it suddenly feels like a lot of pressure.

Is there a wrong answer here? Is there an answer that gets him sent back to his parents? He looks down, biting the inside of his cheek so hard he tastes blood. Before he can lose himself in his thoughts, a cold and wet nose presses against his hand. Steve blinks, smiling at Dart and picking her up to hold close. "What kind of electives are there?" he asks.

Sue hums softly, flipping to another page on her clipboard. "Possible electives include art, music, theatrical performance, physical education, equestrian studies, botany, and foreign languages, to name a few."

"I'll be taking photography lessons," Jonathan says, looking up at Steve and gesturing to his book.

Robin nods and leans back on her palms. "I'll be doing the physical stuff. Like learning how to fight and practicing ballet to improve my balance," she says, leveling a look at Steve that dares him to say anything about the ballet.

Steve wouldn't, though. He doesn't want to make Robin angry enough to ditch him. He looks down at Dart, thinking for a moment before asking, "Can I take more than one?"

"Of course, but you're limited to three for now," Sue says.

What would be the most helpful? Foreign languages, probably, since he'll definitely have to speak with ambassadors from other countries at some point. He should also learn something that can be shown off, a skill that he could pull out at functions to make his grandmother proud or distract guests.

"What language should I learn?" he asks.

Sue thinks for a moment, tapping her pen against her chin. "Mandarin. It's a business language, and we have close relations with a few representatives from China and Hong Kong. If you'd like to learn a Romantic language first, though, Spanish is good."

"I'll learn Mandarin," Steve decides, nodding once to himself. "And music. I want to learn to play...hmm...the piano."

With a nod, Sue writes his electives down. "Let me know if you'd like to add an elective later, Your Highness. In my opinion, though, your current courses will keep you properly challenged for now."

------------------------

Sue wasn't kidding about his academics being challenging. Steve struggles in math, muddles his way through science, drags himself through literature, and is ready to drop when he hits social studies. He'd ask the tutors to spend more time on topics, but Robin and Jonathan seem to have no problem keeping up, and Steve can't bring himself to disrupt their pace.

His Mandarin lessons are going just slightly better if only because the tutor seems to recognize that slower is better for him. After almost a month, he's starting to understand intonation and vocal variation better, and he can recognize a few characters on sight.

Piano lessons are also going well. His tutor there doesn't burden him with theory; she introduces the keys, shows him how to read sheet music, and then lets him choose songs to learn. Steve feels the most at ease when he's squinting at sheet music and slowly pressing piano keys into something recognizable.

The lessons he really looks forward to, however, are the ones for his Royalty Education. He gets to see his grandmother then, and she spends the whole day with him. Even better, something about this stuff just clicks. He's good at fixing his posture and memorizing silverware placement. He bows just right on his first try and his grandmother compliments his wave.

By the end of the lesson, she'll be smiling, her pride obvious, and take him for a walk in the gardens or to eat cookies in the kitchen.

"Royalty requires maintenance," Clarisse says, standing in front of Steve with relaxed shoulders. "You maintain your demeanor, your image, your knowledge of foreign dignitaries, your understanding of the people’s needs, and your humility. But you must also maintain your pride and your boundaries."

"That sounds like a lot," Steve says, idly tugging at the hem of his shirt.

"It can be overwhelming, but it becomes second nature in time," Clarisse explains, smiling reassuringly. "When you're royalty, you are constantly watched. Many eyes are kind or curious, but others are malicious, and you want to do everything you can to disappoint the malicious ones."

"How?"

"By acting like the Crown Prince you are."

"What kind of prince am I?" Steve asks, finally voicing the question that's been lingering since these lessons started. What kind of prince does his grandmother want? What kind of prince would best serve the people? What kind of prince will be so loved by all that nobody could even think of thinking about getting rid of him?

Clarisse hums, thinking for a moment. "I suppose a good one," she says, her slight smile telling Steve that she's only lightly teasing. "My hope is that you'll be kind and competent. You will make Genovia prosperous without compromising tradition. You won't allow politics to stand in the way of doing what's right by the people of Genovia. But this is a tiring job, so I hope you'll learn how to balance your duties with relaxation."

It's a lot, but Steve can do it. He can be that kind of prince, especially for the country and grandmother that's offered everything he's ever wanted and more. He nods once. "Okay," he says, "What do I need to learn, then?"

Clarisse smiles fondly at him. "Let's start by reviewing Genovian history. Only by knowing the past can you face the future."

With that, she places a book on Steve's desk and doesn't wait for him to open it before telling him about Genovia's founding.

------------------------

Steve has weekends off from classes, which leaves him with more free time than he knows what to do with when he doesn't have to clean a house or make his own meals. So, he's bored, and telling Robin that he was bored was a huge mistake after she suggested riding bikes around the garden only to learn Steve didn't know how.

She'd insisted that he should learn, insisted that Clarisse be the one who teaches him, and insisted on hearing no objections.

And now he's here, standing in front of Clarisse's desk and staring down at his feet as she finishes writing something on the paper in front of her. Joe is standing just to her right, hands behind his back.

"Okay," Clarisse says, gently placing her pen on the desk before looking at Steve with an encouraging smile. "What did you want to ask me, Steve?"

Steve bites the inside of his cheek, takes a deep breath, and looks up. "Well, um, Robin wants to ride bikes, but I don't know how," he says.

"Well, that's easily fixed," Clarisse says, reaching for a phone at the corner of her desk. "I'm sure a member of staff is free to teach you."

Before she can pick up the phone, Steve finds himself blurting out, "Well, I...I was hoping...you could teach me."

Clarisse freezes, blinking twice with confusion before looking at Steve. "You want me to teach you?" she asks. When Steve nods once, she sighs softly. "A queen does not ride bikes. Besides, I have too much work to complete. Perhaps I could accompany you for a walk this evening to make up for it."

Despite himself, despite bracing for rejection, it still hurts. In the three months he's been in Genovia, Clarisse has agreed to just about every request he's made. Every held breath as he waits for cruel words has been released with unprecedented relief when none came. Even when he broke something---a priceless vase, according to Jonathan---his grandmother had simply surveyed the damage, thanked him for being honest, and asked him to avoid kicking soccer balls in the presence of priceless vases in the future.

Perhaps Steve has gotten too comfortable. He shouldn't be pushing like this. If he wants his grandmother's affection, he should know when to hold himself back.

So, despite the unfamiliar urge to ask again in case Clarisse might change her mind, Steve nods once. "I look forward to walking with you, Grandmother," he says, his voice quiet. He glances up, waiting long enough to see Clarisse's smile before turning on his heel and leaving the office as quickly as he can.

Clarisse watches him go, her head slightly tilted as the door closes silently behind Steve. She nods once, glad that Steve is sensible enough to understand things like work and propriety, and picks up her pen once more.

"If I may speak freely, Your Majesty?" Joe asks.

"At this point, Joe, you may as well assume the answer is yes."

"With all due respect, Your Majesty, and please pardon my French, my experience has been that assuming makes an ass out of you and me."

It takes a moment for Clarisse to understand the joke. When she does, she can't help her amused smile. "Fair enough," she says, "Go ahead, Joe."

"Do you remember what I said about being Steve's grandmother?"

"Yes, of course."

"Perhaps now is one of those moments where being a grandmother is more important than being a queen. His Highness does not ask for much, and he is not the kind to ask more than once, even if he really wants something. I imagine it took a significant amount of courage to ask you to teach him in the first place."

"Are you suggesting that I...I risk making a fool of myself for all to see?" Clarisse asks.

"I am suggesting you spend time with your grandson, who asks very little of you because he does not believe he can ask for anything."

Clarisse is silent a moment, letting Joe's words process and settle in her brain. Finally, she sighs and gestures to the papers on her desk. "I have work to complete," she says.

"Your Majesty, editing these proposals was on your schedule two weeks from now. You are ahead of your work. A break would not be unreasonable or unwarranted."

Well, when he puts it like that.

Clarisse sighs, leans back in her chair, and looks up at Joe. He's still staring at the door, giving no indication that he feels her eyes on him, but she knows he does. "Have a groundskeeper retrieve bikes and safety gear and meet us in the garden," she says, standing from her chair and bracing herself to look like an utter fool.

Her apprehension fades away fifteen minutes later. It can't hold last when she sees Steve's surprised and delighted expression at her presence. As she helps him put on knee and elbow pads, shows him how to pull the helmet's strap tight, and holds the bike steady as he sits on it, Clarisse decides a little foolishness is perfectly fine (necessary, even) if it will keep the smile on Steve's face.

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Tag List (let me know if you'd like to be added to future parts!)

@y4r3luv, @potato-of-the-lord,

[tiredtwed]

I guess I need to update this, I’ve been here for 1,5 more years now. Met a lot of nice people and I’ll continue being here well, forever I guess. This intro is somewhat accurate still, but I’ll highlight the stuff that idk is still the same in purple. I’m sending you all love and light. I come and go sometimes when life gets in between but I’ll stay here until I’m ready to recover.

Last time I was here I was like 50 kg. I recovered somewhat but then my dad died. Now I’m here again but at 91 kg. I love my life :,) btw I’m pro recovery and if you’re in a recovering phase please don’t look at my tumblr content.

Do not interact if:

-you’re underaged

-you’re fatphobic

-you’re anti lgbtq+

-you’re recovering

-you’re abelist

Also don’t send me d*ck pics thank you.

Who am I? Good question, let me tell you what I know this far:

- Y’all can call me May

- I’m swedish and can barely spell in my own language so sorry for major grammar/spelling errors

- I’m 20 y/o

- loves anything creative really, singing, playing instruments, drawing, crafting, you name it

- I have been a gamer since idk I got my first computer, I have over 20000+ mod files on the sims 4 ;w;

- I grew up with k-pop and I am an army, my bias is Jin.

- I’m also a metalhead (nice combo I know lmao)

- I’m autistic, have OCD, depression, many phobias, struggle with sh aaand disordered eating.

Rn I’m in a pretty dark place in my life, and I really appreciate all interactions with my posts (cuz I feel like someone cares/sees me heh). My dm’s are open too, but I’m not interested in any “coach” or s*xual content.

Sending y’all love and light💜

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #326

“life by life  /  waste to waste  /  i'm the harbinger: the master of decay”

When you get married what do you think you’ll put most of your focus and money into? Do you mean like, for the wedding? Probably the venue. Or possibly the photographer. Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? No. What’s something you complain about frequently? My legs. Are you afraid of falling in love? Very. Are you close to any of your aunts/uncles? Not very. Do you hate it when people smoke around you? Very much so. Do you own anything that is special edition? Yeah, things like DVDs. Do you have any funky bookmarks? I have this one meerkat bookmark where the image moves when you tilt it. Did you ever watch Pokemon? Hell yeah I did. Are there more females or males in your family? Females. Does anyone in your family snore loudly? My mom does due to having gerd. Dad did too when I actually lived with him. I wouldn't know nowadays. Do you own a camera tripod? Yes. Did you ever believe in mermaids? No. Have you ever purchased alcohol? Yes. Any essential quirks/interests/other you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? Similar interests, like being a metal fan and gamer especially, as well as a serious animal lover for sure. Any romantic gestures you really like? Okay if someone did that little bow thing while reaching out for my hand to dance, I'd melt, lol. I also appreciate love interests holding open doors, SHOWING INTEREST IN HOW I FCKN FEEL, asking permission before doing anything in sexual exploration, stuff like that. Any sexual fantasies? Are you daring enough to share one? Yep, not sharing those lmfao. Have you ever been in love? Twice. What is your favorite/least favorite word? My favorite is "serendipity/serendipitous," and my least favorite is "retarded." Have you ever been skinny dipping? No. If I actually had a body I was confident in, I probably would in privacy tho at night lmao. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Oh yeah. What is your favorite thing to do? Probably RPing with my favorite OCs when I'm in a really creative mood and during a great scene. Did you go to your senior prom? Yeah, I did. Prom's honestly pretty damn overrated, but I did it and his senior prom anyway. It's the picking out a beautiful dress and taking pictures that I loved. What did you do after graduation? I don't remember. We probably went out to eat or something. Favorite home cooked meal growing up? Spaghetti. What item most embarrasses you to purchase? Nothing, really. Do you give cards to people for holidays or events? No. Name the coolest thing about one of your grandparents. Uhhhhh idk. Name two things you put whipped cream on? I hate the texture of whipped cream. Do you ever eat peanut butter straight from the jar? Sometimes if I want a snack but am trying to be healthy-ish, I'll eat just a scoop. What was the last pill you took for? Pain. Do you prefer your clothes loose or close fitting? Loose, 100%. Favorite thing you’ve ever painted? Meerkats grooming. I did it in high school on a large piece of burlap. Are there any songs that remind you of your mother? "Take It Like a Woman" by Alice Cooper, for one. How did your elementary school teachers describe you? Very smart, sweet, friendly, and nice. Game you were best at in PE/gym? Pf, none. Obsession from childhood? Dinosaurs and Pokemon. Best way for someone to bond with you? Let's talk about deep stuff regarding the world or about how awesome animals are. Top 5 favorite Vines? Oh boy. There are just way too many. I'll try to name a few: 1.) the "I can't find my berries" saga guy; 2.) *in drive-thru, asked what he would like to order* "I wanna FUCKIN DIE"; 2.) "i cOUldA DROPpeD my CroISSAnt"; 3.) "it's Wednesday, m'dudes"; 4.) "a d a m"; 5.) "I WON'T HESITATE, BITCH." God, I miss Vine. What is the first meme you remember seeing? Holy cow, I have no idea. Sci-fi, fantasy, or superheroes? Fantasy. Favorite tradition? Dressing up for Halloween, even though I don't do it anymore... Talent you’re proud of having? Writing. Favorite website from your childhood? Webkinz was unbeatable. I was obsessed. Any good luck charms? I don't believe in those. Favorite potato food? French fries. Tell me the color of your eyes, without using the name of a color: Uhhhh a cloudy sky right before rain? Ever been through a goth phase? Goth is my fucking AESTHETIC. I wish I could afford a truly gothic wardrobe, because you bet your sweet ass it's all I'd wear out. Can you remember your first phone? If so, what kind was it? I think so? It was a Blueberry, I believe. Who is your favourite character from Alice in Wonderland? Obviously the Cheshire cat. What is your favorite type of YouTube video to watch? Lately, it's been tarantula and snake channels/pet YouTubers. I still think my overall favorites are let's plays, but right now it's just stepping back a bit. What’s the next project you are excited to start? I have this pretty cool drawing I wanna do of a morbid meerkat doing a big toothy smile, doing a peace sign (but his fingers are syringes) with a crown blinking over his head. Inspired by the "Professional Griefers" lyric of "lab rat king." I just really wanna make it perfect and am procrastinating in fear of failing... Have you ever experienced a miracle? I don't think I believe in miracles. What are your top three names you like for a daughter? Alessandra, Justine, and Chloe, to name a few. Which did you like better: high school or college? High school, at least in most ways. What is the theme of your bedroom? It doesn't have a theme. My interests just kinda threw up everywhere, haha. Have you ever lived in a dorm? No. Were you raised religious? Yes. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? I don't have to do taxes yet. What was the very first thing you ever saved up to buy with your own money? Venus was the first big thing, I think. Describe your favorite Christmas ornament: I don't know what that would be, honestly. We have so very many. What jobs did your parents have when you were growing up? Dad's always been a mailman, and he also had a second job as a carpenter for a while. Mom worked with special needs children at my elementary school as a teacher assistant. She also worked at the hospital at one point, doing some computer work. I don't remember her actual position. Are you taller than your mom? We're the same height. Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex? Sure, that's not a big deal to me. Last reason you went to the ER? For myself, a suicide attempt/overdose. What was the last word document you typed? This survey, actually, so I could save progress as I combine them. What’s something you don’t think people take seriously enough? Global warming. Have you ever dated someone who had a child from a previous relationship? No. Is there any drama currently going on with your family? No. What was the last fruit or vegetable you chopped/sliced up? An apple. I wanted apple slices with peanut butter. What is your favorite Hostess/Little Debbie snack? Holy SHIT that is impossible. Maybe the devil cakes, but I really don't know. I love most of them. Do you/your family buy loaf from the bakery or bagged on the shelf? Bagged. White, wheat or other? Mom buys white bread, but my favorite is pumpernickel. What was the last non-fiction book you’ve read? (Not a school textbook!): I ain't got a clue. I don't really read non-fiction. What color are your headphones/earbuds? These are blue. Would you be embarrassed to find out you snored loudly in public? Yep. Thankfully, I don't snore. Do you feel guilty about killing bugs? Yep. How do you feel about coconut? Not a fan. ^ Ever cracked one open? Ha, I've always wanted to. Who did you last worry about and why? My mom. She's getting a CT scan ASAP due to chronic headaches and stomach pain, so I'm worried her cancer might be re-emerging. When was the last time you ate/drank something gross just to be polite? I don't know; I struggle to do this. If I don't like something, my face shows it. I can't help it. When did you last make up a baby’s bottle? Never. Do you have any framed black & white photos in your home? Who are they of? No. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? N/A If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you chose? I don't know. Real talk, I find most luxury brands to sell pretty ugly stuff... Do you like candy canes? Yeah. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? Yes; one is my landlord. What color was the dress you wore to your senior prom? It was black. Ever go to another school’s prom? No. Do you like burning candles or incense? I love incense. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do in there? When I used to live in the woods, I did every now and then to take pictures. Does your significant other ever make you mix CDs? Single, but that would be so romantic. /swoons How did you dress your freshman year of high school? I was this emo/metalhead/goth creature. What is the best present you have ever received? My dog Teddy. <3 What is the best present you have ever given? I put the most effort into a scrapbook thing of well over a hundred reasons I loved my then-boyfriend Jason. Even though we're done, I honestly hope he still has it, just to remember. What is the best surprise you have ever had? Sara's parents paying for a flight up there to be with Sara for her birthday. Have you ever been robbed? No, thankfully. Ever kiss someone on the first date? No. Ever sleep with someone on the first date? Definitely a nope. Ever give someone a wrong phone number on purpose? No. What’s the strangest thing you have ever witnessed firsthand? I have no idea. It's... very morbid, but possibly dogs twitching after being euthanized. Seeing Teddy do it was such a strange, painful experience. Like there was still life in there... even though I know it was just his nerves doing their final hoorah and he was already dead. Ever seen a psychiatric ward? I've been in a mental hospital five or six times, so I'm uncomfortably familiar with them. What is the last thing you did that you didn’t want to do? Group therapy. I'm really burning out on it. Thankfully, I don't have it on the weekends. What is the last thing you convinced someone else to do? I dunno. If you could live in a different time, would you? When? Nah. Do you prefer to sleep alone or with someone else? Sleeping alone is more comfortably physically, but I usually prefer sleeping with a partner because there's this amazing feeling of safety, love, and companionship. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two. Do you prefer cold air and blankets, or warm air and no blankets? Cold air and blankets by ten miles. I can't sleep if I'm even remotely hot. How often do you dust? Sigh, not as much as I need to. What is the most "extreme" activity you have ever done? I haven't done very much that fits that description... so idk. Dr. Pepper or root beer? Dr. Pepper. I hate root beer. Last room you cleaned? Mine. Last thing you did that made you feel like an adult? Checked into the doctor's office by myself, haha... Talk about sad. What’s your favorite picture of your mom? Dad? It's not my business to actually share those pictures, but I can describe them. I fucking ADORE this candid photograph I took of my mom laughing; I will forever cherish it. It's morbid to think about, but it's absolutely a picture I'll frame of her once she's passed away. I don't have many pictures of Dad, but I do really like this picture we took together at Red Lobster once. Are you subscribed to anything (Magazines, monthly boxes, streaming sites, etc.)? Mom pays an Adobe Creative Cloud photography bundle subscription for me, but that's it. Last TV show series you finished? Fullmetal Alchemist with Sara. It was a rewatch for me, but she'd never seen it. What’s something exciting that’s happened to one of your friends recently? A childhood friend got engaged a few days back. Do you have any board games? If so, where do you keep them? We have a few somewhere. What were the last things you glued together? I don’t recall. What are your friends’ pets’ names? I'll just use Sara here since she's my best friend. She has two family dogs, Buster and Beesly, a cat named Winter, four ball pythons named Martha, Crowley, Little Dot, and Jane Marie, and Doris, a bearded dragon that I personally adore most. :') What all did you do today? I played World of Warcraft early this morning, but not for very long. I've been in a phase of being very uninterested in it lately. I've mostly just done surveys... lots of surveys. I'm just in the mood to. I've also been listening to music and watching John Wolfe play Amnesia: Rebirth periodically. If you live in a house, how many floors does it have? If you live in an apartment building, how many units does it have? It's just one floor. Would you like to live in a world with mythical creatures, even if they turned out to be evil or dangerous? Honestly... I probably would, haha. Are you scared of heights? Yes. When was the last time you lost something of great sentimental value? Did you ever end up finding it again? Never, I think and hope. What food do you find to be the most filling? Is this something you eat a lot of? Eggs or oatmeal. Not really. What do you think of people who purposefully train their dogs to fight or to be aggressive? They're fucking garbage human beings. If you suffer/have suffered with acne, do you squeeze your spots or do your best to just leave them be? Ugh, I was so bad (and still am if something pops up) about picking at it. Does your father have any hobbies? What are they? Sure. He loves sports, fishing, idk if he still plays video games, fantasy football... and I can't forget playing with his grandkids. It's hard for me to know all of them when I don't live with him and see him rarely. What did the last face mask you wore look like? It was just a white cotton one. Is there a specific song that you always request at parties? What is it? I don't go to parties. Would you rather read poetry or write poetry? Write it. Have you ever had any really infected injuries? I've had infected piercings as well as a badly infected pilonidal cyst. Is there any band out there that you like every song by them? No. Are you popular on any websites? No. What was the last song you listened to? Aaaaand now I'm hooked on "NIHIL" by 3TEETH. Are you currently texting anyone right now? No. When was the last time you played jump rope? Yikes, probably not since I was a kid. I used to love it. Who was the last person you offended? I dunno. What’s the earliest you’ve ever had to wake up for work? Not early. Do you know anyone who has changed their first name? I know trans people who have, yes. Do you know anyone who has been on life support and survived? No. At least, I don't believe so. Do your parents have a strong relationship together? They're divorced, and Mom at least can't stand him. Dad doesn't really care. Do you ever feel like you’re sharing too much about yourself online? Oh, I absolutely used to. I still might, idk. I've tried to reel it back some. How many windows are in the room you’re in? Eight, but they're just small, vertical rectangles stacked together, so it's not as revealing as it sounds. What was the last necklace you wore? My spiked choker, I think, for pictures. Or maybe the one I have with a bunch of big silver skulls. Do you think there are more dimensions than what we’re able to perceive? I don't think so, no. Does anyone in your family have schizophrenia? My half-sister on Dad's side that I've never met. Have you ever been in an abandoned house? A shack, yeah. Do you like art? I positively adore it. I could NOT imagine life without it. How about theatre? I don't care for it. Have you ever made breakfast for someone? Yes, for Sara. Do you talk to your crush? If you have one. Yeah, she's my best fren. If yes, what do you usually talk about? Nowadays I ask her almost daily how she's doing in regards to her progress of recovering from both serious physical and mental stressors. I try to always be an available ear if she ever wants to vent. Would you rather read or watch a video about something? Watch a video. In what ways have you fulfilled some of the hopes and dreams you had as a teenager? I've fulfilled none of those. What’s one stressful thing you’ve been trying to deal with lately? How have you been dealing with it? Inexplicable, chronic boredom/serious anhedonia. I've just... put up with it. I get pleasure out of essentially nothing most days, and it sucks big time. I just try to distract myself and force myself to do things I usually love, though I've been bad about actually succeeding in making me do said stuff... Is there a regional chain of store/restaurant/etc. in your area that you feel very loyal to? MOTHERFUCKIN BOJANGLE'S, BITCH. You think YOU have good fries somewhere? Oh hunny, sit down. Oftentimes, people warn us against getting tattoos or body modifications or dying our hair unnatural colors because we could be judged poorly for them. But has a more “alternative” look ever worked out in your favor? Well, I like myself better with my piercings and tattoos, and that's all that really matters to me. Do you have any daily routine/habit of that you’re really proud of keeping up? No. .-. Pick one of the following activities to do in a forest (assume you would be equally good at each one of these): Foraging for mushrooms, identifying trees, searching for specific types of bugs, trying to build something out of fallen branches and logs. Searching for bugs w/ my camera!!! But that all sounds fun. What’s the hardest class you’ve ever taken? My most recent math course that I failed horribly.

[eldritchsurveys]

o62.

[[ Random Survey Questions // By @x-hallie-x​ ]] What is the most you’ve ever eaten in one sitting? >> I have no idea, really... probably like 7/8ths of a pizza? Or maybe something else. I also don’t pay a whole lot of attention, so, you know.

How often do you skip breakfast? >> “Breakfast” is a hard concept for me to lock onto, because I usually eat at some point after waking up, but it’s not like... a dedicated meal. I just eat when I’m too hungry not to.

What’s the longest you’ve gone without leaving the house? >> Here, probably five days or so.

Where are you going the next time you go out? >> Sparrow is going to this... idk, informal memorial thing or something for one of her grandparents so I guess I’m going with her lol.

Did/do you miss a lot of school or do you have a good attendance record? >> I had an impeccable attendance record until high school, and the only reason I didn’t have an impeccable one in high school is because I was in and out of the hospital by eleventh grade.

What are some weird habits you have while eating/about food in general? >> I don’t like certain textures (things being mushy when they’re not Supposed to be is the best example). Produce has to be inspected and vetted before I put it in my mouth; any imperfection is liable to put me off eating it. I don’t like messy sandwiches (have had shutdowns in restaurants because of messy burgers and such). Probably more, but I don’t really think about it until someone points it out or I inconvenience someone else with a habit of mine.

What kinds of things are likely to make you cry? >> Certain movies. Grey’s Anatomy. Some of the things Can Calah says. A lot of the things Wednesday says. That’s really it as far as “likely” is concerned.

What are some things that make others cry that don’t make you cry at all? >> Animal death and most people’s deaths (David Bowie was a special case and I’ll fight anyone about it) are the only things I can think of that are almost guaranteed to make other people cry but generally don’t affect me on that exact same level. Other than that, I feel like the things that make people cry are as varied as people themselves, and it’s really difficult to compare this sort of thing.

If you drink/smoke, how often do you do these things? >> As of the past month or so, I’ve been drinking significantly less in comparison to earlier habits. I opened a bottle of wine a couple of weeks ago and I only just drank the last of it a couple of days ago. I’ve had a four-pack of Backwoods Bastard for at least a week and a half, and I still have two left. I don’t even drink enough to get past tipsy anymore, I just kinda stop myself when I notice the “hey we feel great, so that means drink more!” impulse, because I know it’s a fallacy and it’s one discipline-related thing I can teach myself right now -- to ignore that voice. I don’t really just... sit and drink anymore, which is an improvement. I think it’s finally just lost most of its appeal -- alcohol is too much of a stressor on the body-mind and I’m tired of it. I don’t smoke anymore; I try to sometimes because I still have this pack of cloves and I’m just like “meh” every time. I would still smoke weed, though, but I don’t have access to that.

Where was the last place you went out to eat and what did you order?What do you think of fast food? >> I actually don’t remember... I’m sure we went out at some point after Chicago but I’m just blanking on it. So I’ll just say Nando’s, which was in Chicago, and we ordered wings and chips (and I got one of the custards). I like fast food, I think it’s great. I just can’t eat it often because I have a bougie body. (You can thank my father for that.)

What website do you spend the most time on and why? >> tumblr, because I genuinely enjoy it here.

What’s the most amount of time you’ve spent online? Is this usual for you? >> Like, in a day? All of it. And yeah, that’s pretty standard for me, although video games now influence how much time I’m actually on the web (as opposed to using the internet connection for the game).

What is something you daydream about often? >> I don’t know that I daydream. I am either in meatspace or inworld, but I don’t think I play around in dreamscapes much. Inworld kind of is like a dreamscape, in the sense that it’s sensitive to Our needs and wants and adapts accordingly, so I guess that limits my need for daydreaming...? I don’t know. When I do daydream it’s to get ideas for writing stuff, I think.

What is one belief you used to have, but no longer do? In what ways are you influenced by the opinions of others, if ever? >> I used to believe that my identity was set in stone and I couldn’t do anything about that. And I guess I’m reasonably influenced by the opinions of others -- like, I’ll always consider a convincing argument. I try not to get caught up too much in confirmation bias, but that’s always going to be a pitfall, too. Mostly I just try to keep an open mind, because it’s valuable to me not to get too tunnel-visioned or “this is how it is and anything else is wrong!” about anything. After all, what do I know, right?

What was the last thing to make you feel good about yourself? >> I don’t remember. Uncertainty (regarding myself, my development, my contribution to society, etc) has been a struggle lately, but I guess that’s just human.

How would you describe your overall (or preferred) personal aesthetic? >> Right now I’m just kind of a lazy goth/metalhead. It’s difficult for me to shop for clothing and I also don’t have a lot of money. Plus, it doesn’t matter as much to me as it did when I was a little younger and had to look like a goth fashion plate at all times. (I did look good, though! :p)

What kinds of small judgments are you likely to make about others? >> I make a lot of inconsequential snap judgements about people on tumblr, mostly, because that’s the most contact I have with strangers on a regular basis. You know, like... “oh god you must not get off tumblr much if you’re discoursing about whether aces belong in the queer community” or “oh my god you really can’t stand to see the word queer ever in your life? smh” stuff like that. Mostly because I’m fucking tired of the discourse, but luckily I don’t see much of it on my dashboard so I usually don’t have much snarky internal commentary to make. 

What was the last thing you did mostly because society expected you to? >> That’s a good question but I don’t remember, lol.

When was the last time you felt out of place? >> In “bougie Meijer” (the Meijer in Cascade, which is an upscale part of town... they have Tesla charger ports in the parking lot, if that’s any indication) earlier. It’s such a low-grade alienation that I don’t even notice it anymore, but like... just going a lot of places in Michigan makes me feel out of place and socially/culturally alienated. I have never belonged here and I don’t expect to ever feel like I belong here.

Do you believe in aliens, spirits, or angels of any sort? >> Sure. I see no reason not to.

In what ways are you superstitious? >> I’m not sure. I don’t think I am, really; I think I have a few minor compulsions at best, but I’m not really superstitious per se.

What is something you wish for right now? >> To not have a reproductive system.

Where was the last place you went walking and how far? Would you rather exercise alone or with other people? >> Uh... the mall, I guess? Does that count? LOL. Wasn’t very far. I don’t do much walking these days. And I don’t know, I’d just... rather not exercise at all. Doing it with others doesn’t really make it any more fun for me because that’s how much I hate it.

What kinds of nail polish colors do you prefer to wear? How about makeup? >> Black, usually. I like other colours, I just... feel more comfortable in black. I like gold and dark shimmery colours in makeup, and plum-toned lip colour.

How would you describe your own relationship with makeup? >> I don’t really have a relationship with it, I wear it sometimes for the lulz but usually I don’t have the patience for it. It’s a huge hassle for someone like me.

Who has been in your life the longest amount of time? What about the shortest? >> I think Elle has been in my life for the longest amount of time (9 years). Shortest... Rez, I think (maybe 7 or 8 months? idk time isn’t real).

Who was the last person to leave your life? How about return to it? >> I just realised some of these questions got mushed together when I copied it and they weren’t supposed to be answered that way, lmao. Oops. Oh well, what’s done is done. The last person to leave my life was Sigma and the last one to return to it was Hallie.

When it comes to travel, what kinds of places intrigue you most? >> Culturally-rich places, places where people look more like me, places where colonisation and/or Westernisation hasn’t completely supplanted the local culture and religion, places where nature isn’t treated like something to conquer.

Do you think humans colonizing Mars is a good idea? Would you go, if you could? >> I think it’s an amazing idea, and I love it. Whether it’s a “good” idea or not is better argued by people who have knowledge of these things. I don’t know if it’s a “good” idea or not, but I know it makes me very excited, and that’s all I can speak about. I would absolutely go if I could.

What is the farthest you’ve walked in one day and what made you do it? >> Probably a few miles. Well, there was one time when I was stuck in North Carolina and I wanted out and I... well, it’s a long story, lmao, I’ll certainly tell it but not in the middle of a survey. I’ve also walked many city blocks in a day when I lived in New York, for funsies or for free travel... but I don’t know how to translate that unit of measurement into more standard units.

Why do or don’t you prefer to make New Year resolutions? If you make them, what kinds are likely to stick? >> I don’t make them because there’s no way a New Year resolution is going to stick any harder for me than it would if I made the resolution any other time of year. I think NYRs are cool and fine, they just are ineffective for me personally. Also, I try not to put that kind of pressure on myself unless it’s absolutely necessary, and if it is, then it doesn’t matter what time of year it is.

Do you have a chore/housecleaning routine or anything like that? >> Not... really. 

How organized would you say your living space is? >> My room is vaguely disorganised only because my storage options are limited and the space is small so things get out of hand really quickly. It does bother me but I try not to get too far into my head about it because honestly, it really isn’t that big a deal, I’m just crazy. The rest of the apartment is in various stages of array or disarray because Sparrow, lol.

What is one thing your ideal living situation would include? >> A big bathroom with a big glass-door shower with dark stone instead of white tile. (Or maybe no doors. Just the showerhead(s) and a sloped floor for proper drainage. I don’t know, I just have this badbrains complex about small white bathrooms with a lot of “hidden”/hard-to-clean nooks that’s really been ruining my life.)

What is something important that’s often on your mind lately? >> Me. Hurr hurr. :B Uh... I can’t think of anything specific, you know, it’s just... life. Things about me and my development, things about how I can be a “good/better” (that’s not the word set I would use exactly, but you know what I mean... like “effective” but not quite so clinical) SO, things about being human and what it means for me to be human, things about my fear of death and how to deal with it, things about how to help myself since I can’t seem to get any professional help, adulting things like finances and stuff, and so on.

What about something unimportant, but you can’t stop thinking about it? >> Hmm... I don’t know! Probably like... how much I miss NOLA. That ain’t important. But it feels important to me! :’(

Do you find it easier to forgive yourself or others? >> I don’t really think about forgiveness, it’s not a concept that has much use for me. I really do think it’s like... a religious sort of thing, like a ritualistic “I have let go of this thing for the moral good” kind of cathartic... rite??? I don’t know. All I know is that I’ve never felt the need to make a point to Forgive Someone. It always seemed like an extra step, like... I’ve already processed this pain and I’m learning how to accept myself as this new creature with this new scar and I’m moving on with my life... oh, wait, now I have to Forgive too? I’m already moving on! Isn’t that the same thing? Or like, if I let someone back into my life, then I have to Forgive them too? That isn’t the same thing???? It really confuses me and I know sometimes I just sound Dense or like I’m playing dumb or something but like... listen, I live in this brain, and it works the way it works. Sue me. And if I’m not wreaking bloody vengeance on you, then just... call it “forgiven” if you must, and let’s move on! Please, for our fathers’ sake! :’)

Have you ever had to call 911? For who/what reason? >> Yeah. My first boyfriend, Tommy, was an addict and overdosed twice in one week. I had to call the ambulance both times. (His GP had prescribed him a giant ass bottle of Vicodin for this “old injury” pain he complained of. When I say “giant”, I mean like... there were 150 pills in there. I remember this because the EMTs had me count how many were left, and it was something like 70. He’d only gotten them a few days prior, like a week prior at most. They made me count twice because it seemed so implausible to them. But nope! His GP was a fucking idiot and he was a career addict!!! It be’s like that!!!!!) (And THEN, to top it off, this fucking dude came over and brought drugs with him! And gave them to Tommy! He got his ass beat in the hospital elevator by Tommy’s best friend and threatened into disappearing, though, so that solved that problem. (I know because I was there.)) Great story, huh! I was also still in pharmacy tech school at this time! I did my homework in the ER! I don’t think I knew what sleep was for a week! ...I know there are a lot of exclamation points in here and it looks like I’m still upset, but actually I’m just fucking amazed at some of my experiences sometimes. Like... and yet! I’m still out here!!!!

What was the last book you purchased? Have you started reading it yet? >> The last book I bought was... hmm... I don’t remember. But the last book I was bought was A Book That Takes Its Time, which Hallie bought me because I thought his copy was so neat :’) <3 I read one chapter, I think (it’s not a reading-book as much as a, like... doing-book, a contemplating-book), but then other stuff took precedence so I haven’t gotten back to it yet. Soon! I promise :p

Do you like oatmeal? If so, what kinds of things do you like in it? >> I do! I haven’t eaten it lately because I don’t eat a lot of heavy stuff in the summertime, but I love it in fall and winter. I usually just put ghee and cinnamon and honey or maple syrup in mine. Very filling, hehe.

What was going on the last time you felt nostalgic? >> I was thinking about when I lived in 7F, and like... there’s no way I would ever, ever, want to go back to living in that rundown NYCHA apartment where I slept on the living room floor along with anywhere from 1 to 4 other people (sometimes up to 6 on random nights), where I had nothing to myself and I was at the whim of the leaseholder (who could be capricious sometimes, just like us all), and where I basically spent 90% of my time intoxicated in some way just to... not fall into the black pit of despair or boredom or loneliness. I don’t. I would be perfectly happy to never see it again barring maybe a couple of visits in the future, if that’s a thing that happens. But nostalgia is patently stupid, and it tries to form unnecessary attachments to every memory, and so sometimes I’m like “damn, them were the days” and like, really, Shadow? Really? Them were NOT the days. ...But one thing I will say-- I’ve got some great stories from living in that apartment.

How much attention do you pay to the movements of the stars and planets, and do you believe they influence anything? >> I pay a moderate amount of attention... like, I could definitely stand to pay more attention, because I do find it interesting, but I just never make time for it, yanno. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to assume their influence in our lives, since we’re all star-stuff and ~cosmic relativity~ and... I don’t know. It just gels very well with my worldview (my universe-view, if you will) and I don’t see any reason to debunk it just for the sheer sake of... cynicism, or whatever gets people hard these days.

When was the last time you were afraid to tell someone something? >> I really don’t remember.

When was the last time something didn’t go the way you expected it would? >> When I went to the Love Wins thing and the Blue Bridge did NOT light up rainbow at nightfall!!!! I was mad as hell, lmao. I wanted to show Hallie.

What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? >> Hmm.... Silent Hill 4? That was a long time ago, though, so my memory of its difficulty might be skewed by exactly how bad I was at video games back then. Maybe WoW, because it’s an MMO with a lot of elements, and it took me a long time to figure out all those elements -- but once I did, it really helped me with other games, so I really enjoy how the learning curve is getting smoother and smoother with the more games I play. It’s kind of like muscle memory but also like... just pattern recognition, really.

What was the last thing you just couldn’t understand? >> Why people glorify terrible child-raising practices instead of thinking, “you know, maybe that was fucked up and maybe I shouldn’t repeat it”. I also still can’t fucking understand why Jay sent me a friend request on facebook. HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID!!!! WE ARE NOT FRIENDS

Other than this survey, what was the last question you were asked that you didn’t want to answer? >> The last question that I was asked that I didn’t want to answer.... yeah, I really don’t know??? I just have a hard time remembering this kind of thing unless there was specific reason for me to hang onto it and rehash it in my mind or whatever. idk! good survey tho. :B

[rigginsstreet]

since fred and fp were teens in the 80s how do you headcanon fred/fp interacting with billy/steve would play out

this is the best message im ever gonna be sent in my whole entire life wow

ok so billy and steve graduated in ‘85 and fred and fp graduated in ‘93 (ive been saying ‘92 this whole time but candyman came out in october of ‘92 so if fred and hermione saw it senior year that means they had to have graduated in ‘93 nobody asked for a history lesson but there ya go). so that gives them an 8 year age difference so like at most in the 80s fred and fp will be in middle school and billy and steve will be in their 20s by the end of the decade so what i propose is like a big brother type deal cuz listen….that would be the absolute cutest shit dont even start with me

teenage!fred is basically steve harrington like he’s gonna turn into the towns babysitter. and then theres the matter of all the baseball related headcanons for fred and steves signature item is his nail bat ?? fred finding it and being like “wtf is this for?” and steves just like “dont worry about it, kid”. does steve even like baseball? he does now. fred and steve are gonna go to baseball games bitch. steves gonna show him how to style his hair and get all fancy with it. theyre just a couple of soft bi boys ok and wow fred talking to steve about how he has a crush on his best friend and doesnt know what it means etc and steves like been there bro i feel ya and so he helps fred work through all that. 

AND THEN WE GET TO FP AND BILLY WHICH IS GONNA BE FUCKING ANGST CITY LEMME TELL YOU !!! so by this point billy has settled and calmed down. he’s still got that fire burning just beneath the surface at all times but he’s learned to better control his anger and he’s just in general a happier person now that he’s gotten away from neil. and then you have fp. who, when billy looks at him, he just sees himself. all the hurt and anger he used to carry around with him. fps dad beats on him (imagine billy finding out and beating the shit outta him wow nice), hes poor, already a metalhead despite his young age (BILLY AND LIL FP SPEEDING AROUND IN THE CAMARO BLASTING METALLICA CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE CUZ I CAN !! also imagine billy sneaking fp out to some side road to let him drive his car wow…i love) billy just really wants to help this kid out, prevent him from turning into the monster billy became. fp seeing how in love billy and steve are, and fps been struggling with his own sexuality and unlike fred, he’s got a homophobic dad at home who throws slurs in his face without any proof that fp even likes boys so just imagine the fight that would ensue if he knew. he confides in billy and god billy just wants to protect this kid so bad. it physically hurts him how alike they are.

ANYWAY billy and steve take fred and fp under their wing, take ‘em to sports games and concerts give them hope that one day they can be as happy as billy and steve are in their relationship (lmao lets not talk about fred and fp getting 5 minutes of happiness in a romantic relationship before everything goes to shit) and just…..gay dads adopting gay sons this is the crossover i want and deserve

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #163

i’m too tired to think of song lyrics rn.

Do you have a little sister? Yes. The last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them?  In her actual presence, I think once? Over a phone or Skype, like... two or three times. Do you know anyone who has been arrested? Yes. Think a lot before you fall asleep? SO MUCH. It's part of why I struggle to fall asleep. Brain doesn't stop. Ever been the only one trying to fix a relationship? That's the story of my fucking life. Romantically, just once. Are you guilty of flirting too much? Definitely not. Did you ever set up a lemonade stand when you were a kid? No. Does virginity matter to you? Not really anymore, no. So long you gave it up to someone you sincerely loved and were smart about it. Do you know anybody who was abused? A few emotionally. Have you ever bought or sold something on Facebook Marketplace? No. Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? YEAH. The only case in which it does't bother me too much is when I've been a *truly* s/o with you for a while. Like if I'd go beyond just kissing you, it shouldn't be a bit deal to just drink after you. Is there something that happened in your past you hate talking about? Does anyone not, really? Is there a difference between just love and in love? YEAH. Are you good at admitting your problems? Pretty easy for me. How many times have you dated the person you’re with now? Once. Has your cell phone ever rung in class? No. Do you ever feel like just laying down and giving up? Not really anymore!! I get down, but I never have the urge to just give up entirely. Have you ever lied about your age? When I was younger signing up for websites lmao. Lied about your name? No. Do you sit on the mattresses in furniture stores? Sometimes. Are there some topics that you aren’t very open about? Maybe? It depends on the person. Have you ever had an encounter with a very dangerous animal? No. Have you ever fed a wild animal people food? I mean I fed ducks bread as a kid/before I knew it was bad. Would you rather die or eat another human being? Die. Some things aren't worth living after you've done them. Do you wish that animals could talk? Why or why not? YES!!!!!! BOTH SIDES COULD LEARN SO MUCH!!!!!!! AND PEOPLE WOULD CARE ABOUT THEM MORE!!!!!!!!!!!! Who did you last fall asleep with? Sara. Now your cell phone, what color is it? Dark blue. Who were you last in a car with? Nicole. What color was the last vehicle you were in? White. Have you had “the best night of your life”? Eh. Probably not. Toilet papered someones house? I'm an adult. Who was the last person you high-fived? Probably Aubree or Ryder. Or the girl Colleen watches. Do you own a romper? Noooo, not my thing. What does your computer’s slow-loading cursor look like? Blue circle. Would you rather have a trampoline or swimming pool? Pool. What was the name of the first porcelain doll you got? Oh fuck that shit, I was afraid of porcelain dolls and still am. Do you sell any products? If so, what? No. If not, do you want to start a business? Well I wanna be a freelance photographer. Have your parents ever crushed your dreams? No. Do you own anything cheetah print? No. Have you ever made a collage for your bedroom wall? No. Do you make DIY projects and gifts? No. Don't have the motivation. Owls or peacocks? Owls. Lions or horses? Lions. Is your kitchen floor black and white checkered? No. What do you make wishes on? Nothing. What’s the best natural pain reliever? Sleep. Do you like trees? Yeah! What’s your favorite Paramore song? "That's What You Get." What is your favorite color for bridesmaid dresses? LIGHT PINK. Happy and soft colors! Do you think you are pregnant? That's impossible. Do you like the ocean? Yeah. You wouldn't see me deep it there, but I mean, it's cool. Are you too shy to ask someone out? Apparently not. I guess. I asked Juan, Tyler, and Sara, BUT only because I knew they liked me. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? YES I FEEL SAFE AND LOVED AND IT'S JUST CUTE!!!!!! Is there a high chance of you going out to the movies soon? Dad and I may go see another soon-ish, but I doubt it. We both think The Meg looks good. What are you listening to? I swear I go back to binge "Cool Patrol" by NSP like every other month. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? Once, and I can pretty much guarantee this one's gonna hit that mark. Would you be able to climb out your bedroom window to sneak out? If I could open the damn thing. Can you taste the difference between brand name food and store brand food? Sometimes. Would you be embarrassed to buy pads/tampons/condoms? Which one more? No. Do you still own a VCR? No. Have you ever purchased Girl Scout cookies? Yeah. Do you own a nightgown? No. Who is one rapper that just always tends to get on your nerves? Why? I can't stand Kanye, because y'know, he's a god-complexed dick. Has anyone ever made you breakfast in bed? Were they trying to suck up? No. When will be the next time you’ll get a shot? What is this shot anyway? I'unno. When will you next eat tacos? Do you even like tacos, or not so much? I hate tacos. Do you know anyone who is pregnant? One of my very best high school friends recently revealed she is and I am soooo fucking excited for her. Would you or have you ever engaged in casual sex? If we were both single there is one (1) person I probably would fuck I hate myself like a lot and I am a hypocrite. What’s your favorite thing about spring? Just the flowers. And that's it. Have you ever tried belly dancing? If so, did you like it? No, & that would be a blinding display. Were you a part of any clique in high school? Kinda? The goths, emos, metalheads, and scenes all kinda. Naturally came together. Most knew everyone's names and we kinda had this unspoken bond with all the others. We always sat together at lunch. Have you ever given blood? Yeah. I'd actually like to do it again, I think, with me drinking a good amount of water now. Do you like the way you grew up? The only thing I'd change is I wish chores were more firmly enforced. I don't do them enough, and I'm approaching 23. Would you prefer to read or write poetry? Write. If you were to have a child, what would the last name be? Well, mine? But once married I'd definitely get it changed to Sara's. I will not doom her with mine lmao. Are you currently working? And if so do you like your job? No. Have you ever walked out on a job or just not showed up? No. Have you told your parents all of your secrets from when you were a teen? No. Would you rather be able to fly or walk on water? Fly. What’s the best club you’ve ever been to? Never been to one. Which sport are you the best at playing? I wasn't bad at basketball last I played. Do you know anyone who has gotten pregnant despite using contraception? Probably. Are you planning on buying a house in the near future? Not the very recent future. A house/apartment will probably be rented first. What was your favorite family vacation you went on as a kid? Disney World. What's something about you that others might find unpleasant or off-putting? I'm hard to get to know due to me fearing judgment. I can be very defensive if you push me to talk about some things. Have you ever kissed someone with a beard? Jason had more of a goatee sometimes. When you were younger, did you believe in Santa?  Yeah. Are you going to make your kids believe in Santa? I don't want kids. If I did however, I probably would. Have you ever made your own calendar? No. What foreign language did you take in high school? One semester of Latin, German for four semesters. Do your parents have gray hair? Yeah. What's your favorite Katy Perry song? Uhhhhh I guess "E.T." What was the last thing you did that made you feel proud of yourself? I haven't acted on it yet, but I made the decision that I would make a sincere effort to fight AvPD and be way more open about myself. What was the last significant and great thing that happened in your life? Met Sara. What is your favorite Starbucks' drink? I don't go there. Who are your last 3 missed calls from? Vocational rehab, Mom, Colleen. Do you like Skittles? Yesssss. Do you blow dry your hair? No. How do you like your eggs? Fertilized by Mark Fischfuck goddammit What song is the catchiest song you know? Hmmm. I suppose maybe "Bad Romance," because I can enjoy like, ANY cover, as well as the original. What is your greatest life accomplishment? Healing. Who is the last person you left a voicemail for? VR. Which is better: the Twilight book, or the Twilight movie? I haven't read any, never watched any. Do you enjoy crossword puzzles? Yes. Do you own any records? No. I wish. Something I'd love to collect. Who was the last guy you called? Dad, probably. You can only listen to THREE CDs for the rest of your life. What are they? "Black Rain" by Ozzy Osbourne, "Black Album" by Metallica, and "The Ascension" by Otep. What is the most unique or uncommon thing about you? Uh I dunno. I guess having blue eyes??? Idk. What happened the last time you were in a fight with someone? I cut her ass out and ignored her. Have you ever been in a physical fight? Who started it? No. What is your favorite type of kiss/way of kissing? Hardcore making out. Favorite form of affection in general/not sexual/etc? Hand holding. Or tight hugs. What do you think about anime? They have some of the most interesting stories, tbh. Who is the last person you unfollowed on Tumblr, and why did you do this? Someone whose posting content changed and I didn't enjoy, probably. What are some upcoming concerts in your town/city? The only one I know of and care about is Metallica in January. Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason? Not that I know of. Would you rather have potato or chicken noodle soup if you had to? Never had potato, but I don't think I'd like it, so. I don't really like chicken noodle, either. If something on your body hurts, which part is it most likely to be? My damn knees. Is Russian or Native American history more interesting to you? Native American. Have you ever put gum on the bottom of your desk/chair? I'm not an animal. Would you rather go to the movies, drive-in, or stay at home and watch a movie? Go to the movies. Would you ever be a race-car driver? No. What kind of deodorant do you use? Secret. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite sex? No. What was the last thing you spent a lot of time thinking about? I'm not sure. What do you think about astrology/the zodiac? If you used to believe/not believe in it, what changed your mind? It's absolute bullshit. What is one conspiracy you believe in? Or one you think is total crap? You literally cannot convince me 9/11 wasn't orchestrated by the government. Stupid one, lizard people. Where was the last place you didn’t want to go but had to anyway? Urgent care. When was the last time you yelled/screamed and why? I dunno. What was the last big decision you made? Do you think you made the right choice? Permanently, absolutely, kick Colleen out of my life. I know it was the right choice. What Hogwarts house are you in? What do you think about the “stereotypes” regarding your house? I took a quiz out of boredom before, and I got Hufflepuff, very closely followed by Gryffindor. However, some questions were hard for me, as I know pretty much nothing about the series. So, don't know stereotypes either. What is something you want to do, but you don’t think you’ll ever be able to? Skydive. Don't have the guts. When was the last time you left somewhere for forever (or at least don’t plan on returning)? Ha, mental hospital. What was the last thing you quit? Meat. Do you like to help people? How about animals? Which would you rather help, if it applies? Duh!! And I dunno, really. I see us as equal. I don't really know which I'd go to first if both were in a crisis or something. As an adult, what is the most and least you’ve weighed? I don't even want to say what I weighed at the end of '16. The least was ~120, what I'm desperately trying to get back to. @_@ What is something you like that no one else you know likes too? *shrugs* What is something you don’t like that everyone seems to like? Mexican food came to mind. Do you follow a particular diet/meal-plan/ethic? Currently I do a 16-hour fast every day and then I'm also a vegetarian. What is a subject you tend to avoid with other people, for whatever reason? Politics. What is the longest (or most involved) thing you’ve ever written? Well, RP. You put all the shit I've written together, and it'd probably be longer than the Bible lmao. Do you prefer to live with others or by yourself? Why is this? OTHERS. I GET LONELY. What scares you about getting older? Feeling the physical effects. What about something you’ve done that sounds too wild to believe? I don't think anything, really. What was the last thing someone made fun of you for? I don't know. Do you have a member of the opposite sex you’ve told everything to? Jason knew everything at the time we were together. What color hair do you find sexiest on the opposite gender? I like unnaturally colored hair most, so... but for "normal" colors, black. Who last slept in your bed besides you? Sara. If the last person you had sex with asked you to date them, would you? I would *actually* kick him in the dick if he had the audacity. If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? Metallica with Mom. What is your favorite social networking site? Facebook for the sake of keeping up with people, Tumblr for entertainment purposes. Has anyone in your family fought in any of the wars? No. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? No. Are you normally a person to tell people off? Deeefinitely not. Do you even wear any jeans other than skinny anymore? I don't wear jeans anymore period. What did you talk about at lunch today with your friends? I'm not in school. Are you sensitive to caffeine? Nope. How do you usually get around? Mom drives me. Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? No, even though I know I'm very clingy. Do you like vitamin water? I've never tried it. Do you think too little or too much? Waaaay too much. Would you rather vacation by a beach or a lake? Lake. Do you ever keep arguing when you know you’re wrong? It can make me feel embarrassed, but in most cases, I'm quick to drop it. Would your mom care if she found condoms in your room? She'd be confused as fuck considering she knows I'm not with a guy. Are you ticklish? Ugh yes. What do you think of dating websites? They work for some people, but, in general, I don't think they're the greatest idea when you consider how many desperate people there are. Now yes, there's most certainly sincere ones, but. I think you'd have to do some fishing to find the right person. Which show is better: SpongeBob Squarepants or The Fairly Odd Parents? Duuuude the latter. Show was dope my dude. Think you could cut off your own foot if it meant saving your leg? To save my leg, I think so. Well... I dunno, I guess it depends on the situation. I'd be concerned about blood loss. What is the worst thing about having a pet? Knowing they'll die. Have you ever actually seen someone fall on a banana peel? No. Do moths freak you out? They're absolutely beautiful to me, but at the same time, the size of their eyes are a liiittle bit creepy. Did you ever cut your own hair when you were little? No. What is your favorite fruit? Strawberries. Who last messaged you on Facebook? Bethany to let me know when the new wedding date was. Have you ever had surgery or stitches? Both twice. Do you own any clothing that has animal print? No. Does your family eat dinner together? Almost always. What was the last video game you played? Silent Hill 3. Have you ever touched a shark? No. Do you prefer writing in print or cursive? I write mostly in cursive. Do you have any family traditions? Like what? Not that we still do. What is the best time you’ve ever had with your family? I'm not positive. Maybe some summer days when we'd all be swimming and cooking out together. What’s the scariest experience you’ve ever had? The night of the breakup. No overdose or panic attack or anything was scarier than when I realized he was leaving. What’s your favorite computer game? World Of Warcraft kms. What’s the biggest mistake people make on the first date? Just my personal opinion, but some people get sexual way too fast. If you're looking for an actual, long-lasting relationship, you have to connect more emotionally. Do you get turned on easily? It depends on who you are, definitely. Some people can't do anything, yet another person can do the same thing and I'm turned on in an instant. Do you still like to color? Not especially. What’s your favorite children’s show? Pokemon. Would you ever get band artwork tattooed on you? Metallica has some badass designs, but I don't know. Eh, actually, that may be something I'd get whenever my mom passes away considering her quote, "All I need in life are my babies and Metallica," and I think she means it lmao. No one loves them more than this woman. Is there someone you liked so much and nothing ever happened? The biggest crush I had that didn't go anywhere was on Sebastian in high school, but I don't know about "so much?" Like I wasn't desperate to be together. Has the last person you kissed met your family? My mom, Dad, and Nicole. Hopefully Ashley and the kids if her husband doesn't wanna be a homophobic shit. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Just my dad. What is the one thing you remember most about January of last year? I was in the worst state of my life. Approaching my suicide attempt, so I was having the thoughts badly by that point. How do you think you will look 3 years from now? I better be a skinny legend with bomb-ass hair and more tats, boo. What would be number one on your bucket list? Touch a wild meerkat. Probably a pup above all. How old do you think you’ll be when you make your will? I dunno. Do you get any of your songs from Limewire? Lol how old is this??? I used to. Do you call anybody ‘baby’? Literally all my pets and Sara. Where is the fanciest place you have ever visited? Uhhhh I guess somewhere in Disney World??? Are your parents night owls or morning birds? I guess the latter is more accurate. Where did you buy the shirt you’re wearing now? Somewhere online. I found it on Facebook, don't recall the site it led to. Are you easy to get along with? I think and hope so. I'm very accepting. What do you usually do right when you wake up? Check the time. What’s your biggest passion? SPREADING POSITIVITY!!!!! Have you ever thrown your phone in anger? I believe I might have once when Jason and I were arguing?? If I did, it definitely wasn't that hard. I have a vague memory of throwing in onto the carpeted floor.