#the strugges of being an artist | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

spiderrrling · 3 years ago

Text

i know i havent been very active, but i need to speak about this

simone biles was absolutely correct in her decision and stop giving her grief over it

if you dont know who simone is, she is an artistic gymnast known as the GOAT (greatest of all time), highly recommend looking her up because she is incredible

on tuesday simone pulled out of the artistic gymnastics team final after the first rotation, and later did not compete in the womens all around final on thursday to defend her title

simone biles pulling out of the team final and then the aa final, is not her being weak for a lot of reasons

reason 1 - the twisties

simone is currently experiencing something that is known as the twisties in gymnastics, its where your body physically will not twist or do gymnastics the way its used to. it is not only, insanely scary, but also insanely dangerous to compete or even train high level skills when your body at any time can fail you

if you look at her vault from team comp, its shocking she even managed to land on her feet, most gymnasts wouldnt have been able to save that and many athletes have said they’d end up paralyzed or heavily injured had they been in her position

reason 2 - what simone has been dealing with

in 2013 simone biles won her first world championship at 16 years old, post that she has essentially carried the entire american gymnastics team both domestically and internationally

after her 4 gold and bronze medal in rio 2016, the media pressure on simone has grown exponentially, she became known as the greatest of all time, as a gymnastics machine at just 19 years old

when the larry nassar case was finally revealed she became the face of the sister survivors, and carried so much of the responsibility for media and pressure on usag to change

simone was set to retire after the 2020 games last year, the only reason she has stayed this long in the sport is to hold usag accountable and make sure they do not go back to their old ways

you do not understand the situation she is in

commenting on simone being weak or quitting on her team is wrong, you have no idea what she is going through, walk a mile in her shoes and then try to not let it affect you in any way

there is potentially only one other person in the world who understands simones position, kerri strugg, who has been brought up a lot in relation to this incident, kerri was forced to vault for the us to win gold in the 1996 games, even if she didnt need to as theyd win without it

during her first vault kerri got injured and was still forced to do her second one

kerri has been brought up a lot with people saying “well kerri did her vault and didnt quit on her team!” well would you like to hear what she has to say about the situation?

so there you go, even kerri is on simones side in this

other athletes have also come forward praising simone for her decision saying they wish they could have done what she did and theyre proud of her for using her right to chose over her own body and wellbeing

if youre willing to risk someones physical health, someones mental health, someones well being over a medal that you dont really have any claim to, then you might want to re evaluate some of your morals

#i know this isnt what my blog is for but its something i care for so much #simone biles #i stand with simone #gymnastics #tokyo 2021 #tokyo 2020

42 notes · View notes

tbr-agency · 4 years ago

Text

waiting for you

synopsis ∣ Jaebeom has been missing Haejin nowadays, especially when the new-bodyguards who were always with the boys. It isn’t the same without The Bloody Roses, without Haejin by his side.

timeline ∣ December 2020

characters ∣ Lim Jaebeom (Got7), Lee Haejin (The Bloody Roses)

a/n ∣ slight angst at first, fluff in the middle and it ends with fluffish-angst, basically a rollercoaster, a soft!JB, work makes Haejin insane and Jaebeom is her savior.

As soon as he stepped out of the building, quickly walking passed the flashes from the cameras, Jaebeom hopped into the car - as he said his goodbyes’ to his own members and to the public too.

Once the car door closes completely and as the car starts to move, Jaebeom closes his eyes - thanking his own self that he did great for today’s schedule and thanking god for today.

Jaebeom checks his phone but his fingers stopped sliding the lock screen when his eyes stopped towards his lockscreen.

It was a picture of Haejin holding onto his children - which is his cats.

Somehow, there was an ache on his heart - it wasn’t that kind of ache from heartbreak, but more to missing someone dearly.

That’s when he realized he missed her.

With a slight gulp, Jaebeom unlocks his lock screen and he goes straight to the conversation where he had last been with Haejin and that was a few days ago.

They recently prefer to leave a voice note rather than messages.

Jaebeom replayed the voice note that Haejin sent to him and he couldn’t help but laugh out loud, hearing how derpy his girlfriend sounds.

“Fighting Jaebeom-ah! You can do this! I’m so proud of you and ‘Last Piece’ is the best! I LOVE IT! My 2nd favorite is Wave and my 3rd is Waiting for You! YESS NYONGIE AND DABDAB! uWu! All of you are doing great, the fans are loving it! And so are The Bloody Roses! Once again fighting and we miss you and we love you!”

“Okay first of all, ‘Jaebeom’? Did you just call me by my name?! Yah??? Secondly, thank you for your kind words but I’m offended. Nyongie?! And Dabdab!? You call them by their nicknames but what about me? Your boyfriend?! The leader of Got7?! Jaebeom-ah?! Not ‘Beommie’, ‘Beom-ah’, ‘baby’, or ‘my love’?!? Yah! Lee Haejin!”

Jaebeom misses this, he knew she was just teasing him. She was the queen of teasing others, aside from the maknaes in her own group. He was blessed to have someone like her - who understands his work life.

The longest that they didn’t spend time with each other, an actual date was 4 months. Yes, they didn’t go out for a date for 4 months yet their bonds were so strong since Haejin is the type to initiate in this relationship.

Jaebeom does initiate too but he was rather more laid-back compared to Haejin - and not all the times when they offer each other to spend time with each other, there would always be a high chance of possibility that one of them would have a last minute of schedule, especially Haejin.

Because when Jaebeom was on a break, Haejin would always be working and recently, Haejin is on a break yet she was on standby and now it was Jaebeom’s turn to be working - their schedules clashed so badly that it hurts Jaebeom.

And now with the recent comeback, Jaebeom can’t seem to find an available time to spend with her.

He knew what he was getting into but he didn’t know that he could literally feel each single feeling of missing someone so much.

Jaebeom was tired but he was happy that his night ended nicely - going to music shows and attending to filming. He knew the fans would love it - but a part of him is unhappy because he couldn’t show everything, not with those new bodyguards advising him to control himself.

It was ridiculous that he had to rant to his manager and surprisingly, his manager sided with him - agreeing that the new bodyguards were too controlling, they were two faced too.

Jaebeom wasn’t the type to compare but The Bloody Roses really put an impact on Got7, even to the other JYPE artists.

Those 7 girls were really different, they were more understanding, they were more into giving in, they knew how to compromise with the boys and mostly, they were very compassionate.

The Bloody Roses listens to Got7, not Ace of Devils.

Those new bodyguards were like robots, they just did their job and that’s it.

Everytime Got7 requested something, they were quick to reply with a ‘no’ without even giving a second thought and that frustrated some of the member especially, Jackson and Youngjae.

They were very strict and never once gave in for the boys and Got7 wasn’t fond of how they handled their work.

They were bringing the mood down but thanks to Ahgases, let’s just say Ahgases were the cure to the member’s unhappiness.

As soon as he keys in his code to enter his apartment, Jaebeom sighed while entering his lonely and quiet apartment - quietly placing his shoes at the side when he realizes something.

‘Why is it so quiet?’

Which was a little weird for Jaebeom because his cats would greet him immediately, they would already be sitting while watching Jaebeom entering his apartment, but they were not insightful.

That feared Jaebeom as he quietly entered his way to the quiet and slightly dark corridor when out of the corner of his eye, Jaebeom could see a figure on the sofa - what’s surprising his cats were sitting peacefully directly in front of the figure.

Jaebeom couldn’t tell who was the figure as the back of the unknown’s head was facing him and he could tell it was a woman - that scared him a little.

‘Please don't tell me it’s a sasaeng, please,’

“Children…. Do you miss your Dad—

That was a voice that Jaebeom instantly recognize.

“Haejin!?!?”

Her head snapped towards the back, with a wide smile on her face.

“Jaebeom-ah!” Haejin stood up with an endearing smile. Like a bolt of lightning, Jaebeom ran his way towards her - jumping onto her with the tightest hug he could ever give to someone.

Haejin shrieked slightly, patting Jaebeom on the back - knowing his boyfriend misses her as she too missed him too but Haejin didn’t want to show it to him, she wanted to be strong for him.

“I thought.. You might get in trouble, Haejin-ah.” Jaebeom muttered, seeing his worried yet devastated expression, causing Haejin to cup onto his cheeks.

Jaebeom somehow was lost in her eyes that were filled with hope, excitement and just happiness when all of a sudden, Haejin decided to squish his cheeks roughly, pulling his cheeks causing Jaebeom to yell in pain.

“Yah! What’s that for!?!” Jaaebeom whines, earning giggles and chuckles from Haejin - she was having her own giggling galore, not knowing that Jaebeom had a smile forming on his lips, seeing how happy Haejin looks.

If she is happy, he is happy too - even though he is tired.

“Come on! Don’t be a big baby!” Haejin pouted, going towards him then pepperring him with kisses on his face - this time, it caused Jaebeom to giggle and chuckle, feeling a little shy.

“Since I am here, you know what that means,” Haejin looked towards him, with a smirk forming onto his face.

There was a hint of excitement in Jaebeom’s eyes, knowing what she meant.

Jaebeom was happily indulging himself to the ramen and kimbap that Haejin has personally made for him.

This is his happiness, eating with the love of his life while catching up on each other.

“I miss this,” Jaebeom confessed while putting the chopsticks down while eyeing onto Haejin who was busy slurping the noodles. It made Haejin to look up to him, to see him then chuckling - instantly looking away as he knew he was blushing.

“What? Is there something on my face?” Haejin asked innocently as Jaebeom reached out to her, putting a strand of her hair behind her ears then placing a kiss on her forehead.

“Nothing. I just miss looking at your face,” Jaebeom confessed and Haejin’s expression softened as she finally put her utensils down.

“I miss you too. You don’t know how suffering it is of not seeing someone that you love for more than a month,” Haejin voiced out as she leaned forward while resting her arms on the table - looking at Jaebeom directly.

She really did suffer, not just her actually.

The whole Bloody Roses’ girls suffered, even the happy pill of the group, Nara.

“And now you’re here,” Jaebeom replied softly, while extending his hand to hold onto hers tightly as he slowly rubbed his thumb on top of her hand.

“And now I’m here,” repeated Haejin as she sighed in relief. Jaebeom is like a therapeutic relief for her - she had said this to him in one of their every night calls.

“My work piles are adding up. I’m literally on the same level as Ahrin now. I don’t even know how she could handle all of it. I’m going to be insane if I had to do this everyday,”

“You should have a 5 minutes break or stretch your muscles, baby. You sound so tired already, give it a break.”

“Nah.. You’re my stress relief, my love. A therapeutic relief. I just need to hear your voice and I’m fine,”

“Haejin-ah, are you okay?”

Jaebeom’s words cause Haejin to instantly look towards him - realizing that she had zoned out while staring at his own bowl of food.

There was a slight concern being shown on his face, since he was frowning slightly while peering into Haejin’s face.

“I’m good, you know - just work and stuff. You know the drill,” Haejin scoffed slightly while showing a slight amused smile, as she picked up her utensils as she was slurping onto the noodles to avoid her true, inner feelings.

Haejin was honestly exhausted.

With work overpilling on her table, dealing with complicated suspects and cases, going around different places to investigate and probe specific people.

In other people’s eyes, they find the girl's job easy since there are 7 people in a group working together but it wasn’t as easy as they see.

Each of the girls has different tasks and different roles, it wasn’t as easy as back then.

It was more to individual work now but of course they sometimes work as a team but it’s more to being individual.

Haejin was struggling but she didn’t show it - for her own members since most of them were struggling too, and she was the listening ear to the maknaes. It seems she wasn’ the only one who had the same concern.

She had been hiding it but it seems she can’t fully hide it in front of Jaebeom. It’s like Jaebeom was able to see right through her.

Haejin didn’t want to bother Jaebeom at all - with his busy comeback schedules and she wanted Jaebeom to just enjoy this comeback without being too stressed out or just pressuring himself.

Jaebeom sighed while standing up as he walked towards Haejin. She somehow gulped down the noodles, seeing where he was walking to, to finally see him standing at her side.

He began to wrap his arms around Haejin’s shoulder as she was sitting down and his hand gently pushed Haejin’s head towards his stomach since he was standing.

Haejin’s automatic reaction was to engulf her arms onto his hips.

“It’s okay, Haejin-ah. Just let it out already, it’s better than keeping it to yourself,” Jaebeom softly spoke while rubbing her back.

Haejin would always shed tears when Jaebeom reassures her but this time, she was so exhausted that she just clings onto Jaebeom, gripping onto his shirt.

“I know you, so you can’t hide it from me. Just tell me when you are having trouble, okay baby?” Jaebeom turned towards Haejin while cupping onto her cheeks.

Haejin gulped the lump on her throat, followed by a slow nod and a smile - it was a real smile from her, causing Jaebeom to give her a kiss on her lips.

“I’ll always wait for you, Haejin-ah. We can get through this, baby.” Jaebeom spoke with confidence that caused Haejin to stand up, her eyes directly onto Jaebeom as it filled with hope and determination.

“We will, always.”

masterlist : Got7 Bodyguard Au

#got7 bodyguard #got7 bodyguard au #got7 jaebeom #got7 jaebeom scenarios #got7 jaebeom imagines #got7 scenarios #got7 imagines

6 notes · View notes

derangedroyalfae · 4 years ago

Text

April 20, 2021 6:41pm (touched up a couple times until 10:59pm)

I finally figured it out, why I wanted to know about how Capybara and the girl met. It’s cuz I wanted to know which groups I should be concerned about it happening again in, if he met her in VA group or in a gaming group (or maybe through a friend, though that one I doubt would be it).

I told Jem earlier that most days, more than half the time, I’ve kinda lost general motivation to exist. Take that as you will, I know better than to result to suicide as I know it’ll hurt some people. As I put it:

“My brain feels melted as of late, focus is a bust - all I can really give my attention to is what sounds really sounds interesting to me in the moment (i.e. record videos but can't do that), or I can sleep, cuz I feel like if I let myself stay awake, I'm gonna get hit with feelings and cry

Maybe I should try to take ADHD pills as of tomorrow

I honestly just feel like disappearing more than half the time and have a general disinterest and lack of motivation to exist. And it sucks, cuz I often don’t feel that way around Capybara, when there isn’t a negative issue brought up between us, and it can be as simple as texting (but even that nowadays isn’t doing as much) but especially if we’re on VC with each other, I feel too happy or at home to feel those things. And I know I can’t use him like a crutch like that. It’s a lot of responsibility to put on someone, so I know he can’t be the only thing I turn to in order to just not feel negativity or just in order to feel motivation to live and move forward. But it hurts being this far from him, both in miles and in timezone, and even more so to not know when I won’t be.

I don’t want to get back on antidepressants, and I worry about getting back on T. I’m scared of what might happen to me if I don’t do either though.

I wish I hadn’t been born with the chemical imbalance I was born with.”

I had stated that topic with almost a meme format

things I should do:

write scripts for NDitD

go through composer and artist auditions for NDitD

organize through files in my room

organize through my clothes properly

what I wanna do:

cry

sleep

maybe video games

Capybara asked why I was so jealous the other day. Where it comes from. I don’t know, I thought it’d be obvious that it comes from the fear of losing him, losing my time with him, not wanting to share him with someone else on a romantic or sexual. I don’t want to be shared anymore, I don’t want to have a life with anyone but him and potential future children. I want a monogamous life with him. Even if it’d fall under the realm of a cishet life, where I’d be his wife and mother of his children. I actually crave that more than words can describe. I don’t want him to have what we have with anyone other than me. I thought what we had was something special, something only he’d feel comfortable doing with me, something he’d only ever want to do with me. And maybe that’s the asexual/demisexual part of my brain that tricked me into believing that was normal of allosexual people. I could never fathom doing anything with anyone but him, and I hoped he felt the same. But clearly he can, clearly he could, clearly he did, clearly he would. I felt I worked hard for it, but he was so easily able to do it with someone else, easier than he ever was with me. I always should have known I wasn’t special and I do know that, but having to actually accept it from the one person in the world that made me feel like I was on top of the world, it hurt. I don’t understand myself why it still hurts me so much almost a year later. I can’t stand the thought of him jerking it to someone else, fucking someone else. It makes me sick to my stomach, like actual real physical pain. It honestly does. And the day I messaged him, and knew that he lied to me when he said he was just playing video games, but I knew he was actually lewding her instead, but he didn’t want me to feel bad (as he confessed was the case). I felt such physical agony. Even to this day. Remembering that. I feel that pain. And I don’t know how to make it go away. Overexposure is supposed to make you go numb but it almost feels like the more I think of it the worse I feel. I know he didn’t cheat, and I’m not saying he did, even if he feels like I’m trying to accuse him of it, which I truly genuinely did not mean to make him feel that way (though I feel like we both should have handled the situation better in general), it still hurt that I wasn’t his only. For so long he kept saying he was monogamous, that he’d never pursue a purely sexual relationship, but then that happened, and I knew I was the only one to blame. I was living in a fucking fantasy. And sometimes I still hope that my fantasy can become real. That if someone else at this point in time were to try and come onto him, he’d deny them, not because he’s worried about how I felt, but because he doesn’t want anyone but me. I know, who in their right mind would want just me? But it’s a dream I still have and want to believe is true. I truly wonder if what happened last summer wouldn’t have happened if I spent more time with him, and since I’ll never know, I’ll always blame myself for it. That I neglected him. I hadn’t told him soon enough that I wanted out of polyamory and wanted to be exclusively monogamous with him. Didn’t make it more obvious that I wanted him to see my girly side more. I didn’t push hard enough, I didn’t share enough, I wasn’t honest enough, I wasn’t enough. No matter what direction I spin the situation in, aside how long it took him to tell me there was someone else in the picture, everything else is and was my fault.

I feel like, even what happened this weekend, when I tried to address what was actually happening, because it was over text, he read it all wrong, the emotion and intent behind it. I only meant to tell him that the joke made me feel insecure, that it actually caused physical pain, because I was reminded of how I felt replaceable back in December when he joked things didn’t turn out for the better because we were dating. A joke I setup in the first place that only ended up in my own defeat. Because yeah, I know I’m not good, I clearly keep hurting him, so I would never expect anyone to say dating me was for the better, but just like my fantasy that Capybara could ever want to be monogamous with me, I had hoped that he wasn’t going to joke and say “yes, of course things are better: you’re here,” because I really needed to hear that in that moment. Death had just occurred and I was feeling isolated and scared in a foreign country, so hearing something like that is what I thought I needed to hear, to be validated. But it didn’t happen, it wasn’t a test and he’s not a mind reader, but I was already being at the end of an emotional rope, I got sad and jealous and felt so much like nothing. So when the girl that the joke was revolved around came up again, those feelings crept back, especially since I’m once again at the end of an emotional rope, and when the joke started to evolve into one about him being destined for her, and I was no where welcome to be part of this fantasy as his lover, of course I felt pain. I wasn’t trying to tell him he couldn’t make those jokes, I just wanted him to know I felt that way and why. But I felt like his response was like he was yelling at me and saying I accused him of cheating, and I never meant to trigger him so badly. I never want to hurt him, but I somehow did all because I was in pain and wanted him to know I was. I wasn’t trying to blame him for that pain, I just wanted him to know. But phrasing can be so hard in a text, especially if you can’t read the emotion correctly. I wasn’t trying to manipulate him, I wasn’t trying to put words in his mouth or act like he committed a crime. I just felt so vulnerable and easy to pain. And no matter how I tried to frame it or explain it, it was like I was a villain through and through, and I accepted that role, because I did feel like a villain for making him so upset. And I promised that I’d never tell him again that I was feeling jealous or pain from jealousy, because it hurts him to hear. So I’ll deal with that pain on my own. It can go into the list of things I promised him I wouldn’t mention again, the eggshells I won’t tread for him. It’s the least I can do. And he can keep making those jokes that will trigger me into pain, and hopefully, in time, I’ll stop feeling that pain, that I’ll just go numb.

Honestly, some of the low days as of late, some of the thoughts that hit me had to do with my thoughts of jealousy, the feelings of pain I get imagining him with her, feeling I failed him, feeling replaceable, and mourning that I don’t have monogamy with him as I so wish, and knowing that’s my fault.

I know my jealousy or possessiveness of him will never go away, but I really hope that it becomes less visceral. He’s everything I could have wanted. I want to be his wife or life partner or whatever term is most appropriate. I want to have a nuclear family with him.

I’ve already had to accept that I feel remorse at times for my hysterectomy, not because I want to experience something as traumatising and terrifying as pregnancy and childbirth, but because I want to have given him and experience with him those hallmark moments of pregnancy. Him laying his head against my pregnant belly, putting a hand on my stomach to feel the kicks, taking care of me whilst I deal with morning sickness. I know there’s expectations vs reality, that it’s almost never that sweet and perfect, but I’d like to think we could make it so. And I would have loved to see what our genes combined would have made. And I try to shun the regret or remorse I feel with thoughts of how I know very well the child or children I’ll bring into this world will more than likely have medical and mental health issues up the wazoo, and it’d feel terribly irresponsible of me to knowingly bring someone who would have to struggle in most aspects of life into this world. However, there’s this hope in me that remains when I see that I could still possibly get pregnant with a uterine implant, though it’s expensive and not full proof. So if the day comes, when we’re finically stable and emotionally ready, and we both decide mutually that we want to have genetic offsprings, not just adopted, then I can see if I can make it happen.

I’m mainly waiting until I’ve become a UK citizen before I turn my Male gender markers back to Female, but it’s possible that I might feel the urge to do that sooner. I've already started looking into it.

I thought about the fact that I should break up with the girls come summer and I still felt the same. Because the more and more I think about it, the more I realise I want nothing more than a platonic relationship with the both and that I feel guilty wanting monogamy with Capybara when I am still technically in a relationship with two other people, even if only by label, since we more or less have been doing nothing but platonic stuff since before I told Capybara of the monogamous relationship I desire. I fear losing my place in my home and having to return to my family, not because they’d kick me out, but because of the grief they’d feel and the guilt I feel. But I’d risk it for Capybara. And I’d risk it because it’s the right thing to do, cuz it’s so fucked up that I’m dragging them along, using them, lying to them, treating them like a safety net and fallback plan. No matter what, if I moved to be with Capybara, I’d break up with them, so at this point, it’s undoubtedly using them. But that’s getting to be a hard decision to make with how bad Hummingbird’s condition has gotten. Today she couldn’t even remember things she was told 30 secs before.

Deciding to stay off testosterone has kinda put me in a scary predicament as it really helped me deal with my depression in ways antidepressants never could and it’s hitting me really hard. And I don’t see the psychiatrist for another month. And I wanna wait until she presents me with my options before I decide I want to stay off it for sure. I don’t want antidepressants. Kitty has suggested I try Dutasteride along T as a way to limit T from doing it’s full affects of transitioning me, as Dutasteride will make it harder for me to have a voice drop, slow facial hair growth, etc. I don’t want to become more physically masculine as I am now, but I feel like the mental affects of T was so helpful.

I’ve thought about seeing a therapist again, but I worry there’s not much they can actually help me with. Cuz I need help with in the moment things, and I already know the exercises and the breathing techniques and all that jazz. Kitty said maybe they can help me figure out the source of my depression, I think I’ve already got that mostly figured out as stated above. But maybe here’s a few more: I feel aimless, I feel hopeless, I feel untalented, and I feel like all my goals are pipe dreams, that I’ll never be noticed for my writing or art or creations, not even for voice over, and I’ll be a burden upon people and society as a hopeless manic depressive NEET. Besides, when you have a mood disorder, sometimes you don’t need a reason, just a trigger, and it all just hits at once. You can makeup reasons, come up with them, because you feel depressed and you feel like you need some sort of excuse as to why.

When I get hit, I get hit with everything at once: separation anxiety from Capybara, my jealousy, every mistake I’ve ever made, ever thing that’s ever made me feel awful, my lack of self-worth, feeling I’m not going anywhere, wondering the point, etc etc.

I feel like I’m gonna burst. Judging thinking about having to wait for the psychiatrist is making me anxious. It hasn’t even been a full month since I returned home and it already feels like ages. I’ve even thought of the idea of having myself committed. Not the first and probably won’t be the last.

The thought “I can’t do this” keeps playing in my head. I just have to lie to myself and say, “you have to, you can, and you will.”

#mood journal #journal #mood #mood disorder #manic depression #depression #extreme depression #doubt #remorse #life is hell #anxitey #anxious #jealousy #posessive #posessiveness

0 notes

realizashuns · 4 years ago

Text

well starting my perspectives in history class and I-

im literally so upset....I wasn't ok with eren and frankly was already hating him and I just cannot sympathize with eren lol looking at his actions I just cant scrounge a single piece of respect for him he really decided to go an eye for an eye just to feel good about himself and his own trauma to get revenge and he did realize he wasn't fulfilled after he literally committed genocide and decided to literally run away for his own peace of mind like I saw his struggle coming but I didnt think it would be this messed up. and here I am struggs to func and this link to this interactive thing came up

ive always thought that art should have clear stances, especially in the modern era having art for the sake of art is hard to appreciate because usually the artist is tied to their product. during my classes we've talked about wether or not all art should be used as persuasion or as viewing and a lot of people agreed that we should have non persuasive art and I do agree but I also just get so antsy when I see art using strong imagery and themes to grab attention but then dont fucking use that to insight thoughts??? art is art but good art has direction idk I just think art is really education and imo there IS A. THING AS BAD ART LOL being able pick apart a work of media should be a skill thats taught in schools especially now in a digital age where its hard to spot photoshop if you've never used it! if this whole series builds up to everyone staying as titans and theres only 2 surivivors what the FUCK was the point of the series lol I researched Isayama and his beliefs and the links and rumors were from 2013 and a newly resurfaced article form 2019 and while I do see a few alarming things like Isayama praising the real general who inspired pixys and obvious references to the ghettos and blatant racism everywhere, all of that SEEMED like it was going towards a theme of importance and leaning towards this idea that the idea of power we all seek through material/physical/emotional acts is that of a literal god BUT even having that much power means nothing because it has to be held in check its just the nature of it theres always give and take... I interpreted erens bootlicking devotion became his downfall like his Achilles heel, he didnt have any individuality and never questioned history or questioned perspectives or anything...and in the end he played himself by creating this false idealization of "freedom" and "liberty" .....ahem basically yeagerists/far-right/facists ahem what.....if this show really ends up with everyone dying and any inclination that eren was "right" or that titans deserved to live/stay in their forms im gonna be rage ...honestly connie and jean were the only ones who got their "hero death" anyways im going to buy Howard zinns book to ground me because I dont want to get my hopes up if this series really does reflect isayamas own personal beliefs I just have lost faith :/ I want to think he sees this and needs to make a clear stance however if he's praised someone who wasn't held accountable for his war crimes what am I to believe ..the last chapter to me will be a reflection of his own beliefs and im ready to rip it apart

#snk #aot #aot spoilers #snk spoilers #rant #attack on titan spoilers #.txt

0 notes

personalstatementus-blog · 7 years ago

Text

The Stylings of Robert Frost and T.S. Eliot

Many original persons subscribe to their inspiration to write from demeanor situations and experiences they have undergone. If you dredge deep enough into few of their works, hurting and anguish tail be seen alone with heartfelt sorrow. The poems by Robert icing the puck and T.S. Eliot can officiate as examples of understanding the lives of poets through and through their artistic symbolisms. frosts poems depict the struggles of his untimely childhood, the sorrow of a discussion that committed suicide and the little girl that suffered a mental breakdown. These challenges and livelihood changing events can causality many individuals to grieve in an assortment of diverse forms. For artist and poets this grieving passage can take the scheme of creative writing and in some cases taking on different personas. Frost acceptance process consisted of masking the tragedies through befitting the person or something that he would like to be. Some would insure that Frost strugg led with personality complexes including having an fake ego. In his work it appears that Frost often resulted to his alter ego, which introduced the calmer, to a greater extent passive attitude. One of Frost greatest passions was his love for bleak England, which was evident in many of his works. His writings often reflected his regard for New Englands view and cultures. Frost is known as the poet of New England, because of his bias tendency for his transcendent native culture. As a result of his disposed admiration for New England, he was regularly criticized for being un couched from other societies. Some critics would plead that he was overly raise in the past level of New England and showed limited meet of American society. This criticism is for the most part based on the perceptual experience that he was detached from groundbreaking society that resulted in his writings lacking symbolism of urbanization and industrialization. In the poem The speech sound, one w ould interpret that the talker spends a great handwriting of time immersed in reputation and secluded f...If you want to quarter a full essay, order it on our website: Custom essay writing service. Free essay/order revisions. Essays of any complexity! Courseworks, term papers, research papers. 100% confidential!Homework live help. Custom Essay Order is available 24/7!

0 notes

traceecalifornia · 7 years ago

Photo

Why Everyday Struggle’s Interview Helped 'Takeoff’ & ‘Slim Jxmmi’ More than it Hurt

“Do it look like I was left off Bad & Boujee?” That is the question. Well, if we’re keeping it real, yes n*gga, you were! You literally did NOT have a verse on the song. When DJ Akademiks asked this question in a recent interview on the BET Awards edition of the show Everyday Struggle, he didn’t appear to be coming from a place of disrespect. His inquisitive mind often works on behalf of the people (fans), and many actually wanted to know the reasoning behind why Takeoff was not on the song. Unfortunately, although he innocently went into the interview with a reputable question, it wasn’t received that way. Fast forward to Wednesday. All we see on social media are clever memes that depict 1 of 3 Migos members constantly asking a question of his own: “Do it look like I was left off Bad & Boujee? Takeoff seemed to TAKE OFFense to the question, as if AK had implied that he had been left behind and is not as relevant as Offset and Quavo, which may, quite possibly, hold a degree of truth depending upon specific opinion. At this point, frustrations had already begun to build due to Nadeska’s inability to hear the group’s responses and Joe Budden’s disgust in dealing with a “diva” group he insists were “giving us their a** to kiss.” Once the crew was forced to quickly wrap things up, Budden dropped his mic, in a manner that he admits was disrespectful, and walks OFF SET, leaving the group to slowly disperse, or so he thought. We all know what happened next. As for Akademiks, he truly couldn’t hear a word Takeoff was saying and seemed to have inadvertently came across as a colossal QUAVO… Sorry. That one didn’t work at all. Although the confrontation with ‘Migos’ greatly surpassed meme worthiness, the incident followed behind the heels of Joe Budden’s interaction with ‘Rae Sremmurd’, where he finally had the chance to own up to his less than kind words about one of the members, Slim Jxmmi. If you’re an avid watcher of the Complex show ‘Everyday Struggle’, you are aware that Budden often calls out things just as HE sees it. To his credit, Budden’s seniority has drafted a wise understanding of the industry, and he often tries to be a voice of reason to upcoming artists who are ignorant to its politics, but it seems as though his personality traits have simply labeled him a hater. When it comes to Rae Sremmurd, Joe has regularly spoken about the successes of one member, Swae Lee, whom he believes is more recognizable. He even goes as far as to predict that the group will soon disband, leaving Slim Jxmmi to inadequately attempt to fend for himself. Once again, fast forward to the 2017 BET Awards red (actually, it was grey) carpet as the Strugg team is about to interview the group. Slim Jxmmi is finally able to address Joe’s burning question as to why Swae Lee is the face of every hook and is consistently featured alone on so many collaborations. He properly handles the criticism through his understanding of why it is seen in this way, although he is unbothered by those opinions. He goes on to explain that his brothers energy is why he works so well on the hooks, and that it would be foolish to try and fix something that is not broken. In addition, he confidently lets everyone know that he is working on some things that will blow the public’s mind and change their perspective about who he is as an artist. In the end, Joe couldn’t have anything else but respect for this young man who handled himself well and had the guts to deliver a solid response. So, why do I believe these 2 encounters helped Takeoff and Slim Jxmmi more than it hurt them? Almost all publicity is good publicity, and it feels as though they have been given a personal platform through this experience. At the moment, the only member of ‘Migos’ that anyone cares about is Takeoff. Not only do the existence of his memes encourage people to take to google in search of him, his distinct accent, coupled with his being pushed out of his comfort zone, has given fans a piece of his personality. Without being featured, Takeoff has now made his mark on the most popular ‘Migos’ song to date. As for ‘Rae Sremmurd’, people now know that they can’t eff with Slim. Fans, not to mention Joe Budden, respect his laid back demeanor and feel as though they understand him more than they did before. Moreover, the doubt that some have had about his star power has been temporarily suspended pending projects that many are now interested in hearing. In time, hopefully these groups will grow to expect the cross-examination because of their fame, and humbly show the public that, despite the rumors and opinions, they are not second class members; they are, in fact, bad and boujee.

#Everyday Struggle #Complex #Joe Budden #DJ Akademiks #Migos #Takeoff #Bad and Boujee #Rae Sremmurd #Slim Jxmmi #Hip Hop #rap #music #2017 BET Awards #Tracee California

0 notes

pro-depresanti · 8 days ago

Text

~Some Artist!Valentino headcanons~

because the fandom almost never talks about how he's a canonical artist

Acrylic is his favourite medium but he doesn't have much time to paint

Usually goes for pencil (4B specifically)

Tried charcoal once in the 90s, there's still dust in his room

Owns exactly 3 alcohol markers – red, light pink, cool light gray

Has multiple golden ink pens, trying to find a dupe to that one pen he found on the street in the Industrial District in 1997, and is yet to find anything that comes close to that one

Has 277383838 sketchbooks; the second he doesn't like a single drawing he gets a new one

Has torn holes through multiple pages due to pressing too hard with the pencil/eraser out of frustration

master of perspective and composition

understands anatomy perfectly (as in, can draw a skeleton and muscle structures flawlessly from memory), can draw a person in any pose, but do NOT ask him to draw a face, he'll shoot you and then himself

can't render fabric well, so the people he draws are either naked, wearing leather, or draped with a random sheet (if you question the folds on said sheet he'll, once again, shoot you and then himself)

Realism and semi realism >>>>>>> (although Velvette has tried teaching him how to stylize figures, while he taught her art fundamentals)

*inserts Catholic!Val headcanon here* LOVES cathedrals and churches, cannot draw buildings for shit but likes the vibe

If he's staring at someone there's a 50/50 change between checking them out or taking a mental image of their outfit/body type/hair/whatever to draw later

Has drawn Angel SO. MANY. TIMES. Angel found it cute for exactly 2 weeks and then it got creepy(literally the first red flag Val showed at the beginning of their relationship)

If there's any hentai production happening under him, he has completely given up in supervising it because he either has to be losing money to make something decent looking or produce garbage

Has lured in sinners by throwing in art history facts and other art talk to start a conversation (knows close to nothing about it, just enough to sound smart)

Killed Vox any time he mentioned doing NFTs (it took quite a few times for Vox to stop)

As long as he's kicking, no AI art bro will be left roaming around Hell

If you say a single good word about contemporary art he'll skin you alive

Velvette attempted to teach him the barest minimum of color theory and what colors go together. Nothing stuck, Val just goes with monochrome with a pop of saturated complimentary color (when he paints, he mixes the main color into the rest to make the palette more cohesive and it usually works well enough)

140gsm slightly tinted paper for sketchbooks, hot press cotton paper for paintings

Sometimes he doesn't even give a scenario for his movies, just hands in a few sketches of the scene to the director and tells them to make it work (everything is smudged together, arrows pointing in random direction to indicate camera movement and lighting, the actors look exactly the same so there's no way to tell who's who, there's written instructions in the corner the entire crew gathers together to try and decipher)

His handwriting is SHIT, he can't even read it himself most of the time, but Vox can

Vox has asked Val to draw Alastor. Many. Many. MANY. Times.

Drinks the paint water at least once each painting session. It has never caused any problems, surprisingly, it even got him a decent high once

#hazbin hotel #valentino #valentino hazbin hotel #art stuff #the strugges of being an artist #art struggles #headcanon #artist!valentino

6 notes · View notes