#the stress of keeping luggage under a certain weight vs needing to bring enough clothes to be slay plus needing cold weather clothes
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anyone know how to deal with the crippling anxiety of leaving for college and moving across the country i know i chose this life but my god 😃
#the fear of leaving something here at home and never seeing it ever again: 😃#the fear of leaving something at home and parents selling it even when i specifically told them not to: 😃#leaving all my trinkets and sillies at home: 😃#half of one of luggage being my stuffed animals because the thought of leaving them makes me burst into actual real tears: 😃#the stress of keeping luggage under a certain weight vs needing to bring enough clothes to be slay plus needing cold weather clothes#the knowledge that these will be the last few days i will have my mothers cooking for a while#all of my friends going to different places#this fucking sucks LMAOO#who said this was allowed#i fucking hate this LOL#i just want to be like 13 again LMAOOO#and the crippling loneliness of knowing i will most likely be the only filipino kid in the entire city LOL#dont get me wrong i dont regret choosing the college i did and im excited and my roommate is super nice but#god LMAO .#it keeps on hitting me in waves istg ive been trying not to think about it too hard but im almost done packing and this is the worst ever#im so fucking SAD LOL QKKDJSKJDJSNF I HATE THIS#i just want to be in 9th grade again and stay up until 3 watching stupid shows and have my biggest worry be bio class#and i want to have lunch everyday with my silly friends and make dumb nerdy jokes about stuff we learned in class#and i dont want to leave my sibling and jfc im pouring my heart out in fucking tumblr tags this is pathetic LOL BUT GOD.#just accidentally typed 'lola' instead of 'lol' and was hit with the realization that i wont see my lola and lolo or my aunt for a while#and this is so fucking stupid LMAO im already missing my friends and the concept of making friends#in college is fun and nice but makes me way too fucking sad LOL#not to be emo but christ !!!!!!!#and im still not over how i probably wont eat any real filipino food for ages after i leave#and its making me so fucking sad like its kinda dumb but filipino food is such a comfort for me#and the idea that i wont have easy access to it . is making me want to scream and throw up and cry#anyways. im so fucking sad LOLLLLLL#i miss my friends and i miss my family and i miss my room (currently sitting in it) and i miss my moms cooking and i miss my bed (in it rn)#this is so fucking sad LMAO anyways ill probs delete this#vent
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