#the startling thing for me w Amber and D*pp was how much he fixated on the technicality that she hit him

[cruelsister-moved2]

tbh im hesitant around most attempts to like analyse fundamentals of abuse or something bc it's so intensely complicated and it matters who has the power in the relationship and that can be so difficult to even tell from a distance. like, abusive men LOVE to go ummm but she slapped me and yeah that sounds like abuse but then you realise that he was physically capable of killing her and she was constantly terrified for her life, and suddenly it feels different. or hearing that a strong, tall man lashed out at a woman sounds like he's abusing her, but what if he's disabled with high support needs and relies on her to eat and wash and leave the house, and she controls all his finances and interactions with others. you can frame these situations in infinitely different ways so attempts to standardise abuse criteria usually just hands the distinction over to whoever has the power to control the narrative while ppl believe theyre discerning something objectively based on facts