#the stag is here bc the first ever appearance he makes is when he's busy slaughtering a stag

[tywvin]

— @paletmblr event xxxiv: usernames

When your enemies defy you, you must serve them steel and fire. When they go to their knees, however, you must help them back to their feet. Elsewise no man will ever bend the knee to you. And any man who must say 'I am the king' is no true king at all. Aerys never understood that, but you will. When I've won your war for you, we will restore the king's peace and the king's justice.

[fallingsunflower]

BESTIES I'm so sorry - I hit my post limit waaaay earlier than expected! Some of y'all joined me on my backup account, (which I also hit the limit on lmao), but I'm back now.

I had over 400 asks to go through and I'll give you a warning that not all of them will appear (either because they were old or because they were topics we already answered). But here is a giant list of asks I compiled for you from when I wasn't allowed to post lol they don't really require my response but I found them entertaining to read. Hope you don't mind I've just put them all together in one post. It's also to save me from using up my 250 posts lol

"this is all so embarrassing like my god imagine when the promotion of the movie starts how horrible it will be for other people who made the movie too"

"SELL UR TICKETS TODAY WATCH THE MOVIE ILLEGALLY, next article we’ll be talking about these two assholes filing for bankruptcy. cheap harlots. don’t mess with your meal ticket."

"hate to say it but i defs think they‘ve got a sliver of the gp’s attention for five minutes"

"I am scanning through all these photos looking for just ONE where he looks like he's smiling and enjoying this. It's so crazy."

"I guess those are all the pics we’re getting right now. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they finish the Italy trip off with one more major Backgrid photo shoot."

"Olivia’s trending on Twitter but not Harry. Like it’s obvious who’s getting the PR gains here!"

"If they dont give us a 6 month or more break after this im gonna need them to pay for my therapy bills from now on bc of this damage no joke let me crawl back into my shit hole now 😑"

"The palce they at is referred to as “tuscanys best-kept secret”. Everyone point and laugh."

"she looks like she’s enjoying all of this. he looks like he wants to push her into the water."

"a few people said he’s keeping his shorts pulled up or covered in all the shots because of the Nike branding which they ask to not get photographed. What a setup."

"Man I knew the second those Tomdaya pics came out of them kissing and how they were trending so fast that HO were going to do something to 'top' them. Its pathetic /// FRRR. she probably hoped for the positive reactions that people gave tom & zendaya but unfortunately, miss girl got the opposite. when will they realize that nobody, but his fans, find them cute lmao can they just stop, it’s so embarrassing 😭😭😭"

"He really out here doing this with someone who almost old enough to be his mother, shiiiiiiiit. Sickening. Sick of these 2 for real now, i was fine with the good old blurry back content and whatnot but this? Crossing a line here nobody wanna see that shit and knowing how people feel goooooood damn."

"I aboslutely despise kendall for obvious reason but this one is actually worse than the hendall one bc you couldnt really see as much as now dis gos tang."

"She’s also wearing the cross necklace again. I feel like if that was so meaningful to her she wouldn’t risk loosing it in the ocean 🙄"

"guys have eyes on tmz. I Do not have tw now. they were so aggressive towards them"

"I'm sorry for Harry because you lost your damn mind bro"

"Now why the hendall pics are better ?? NO SHADE BUTT"

"I’m genuine confused like do they actually want dwd to flop or what? I just threw up in my mouth I sure as hell ain’t gonna watch their sorry ass movie. Is it supposed to flop? I’m so confused!"

"The match was not interesting enough so they cooked up something different especially since people were pointing out how they staged the PDA. And the page 6 article is out already!!!"

"Who the fuck thought this was a good idea"

"Is it just me or does harry's face looks really blank for someone out on a Romantic date with his alleged girlfriend.?"

"if thats it, harry hasn’t no game🤣🤣🤣🤣"

"so this is why the tabloids weren’t talking about the match pics! they didn’t have any value on their own. now with the yacht pics? my oh my they’re gonna get the clicks of their lives. her team was prob like “wait a sec we got something for y’all”"

"If they were models hired to act like a couple they wouldn't get the job......"

"Not them starring right at the camera in some of them help make it less obvious will you"

"HENDALL🤣🤣🤣is that uuuu"

"Harry’s ass crack thought it should make an appearance too."

"What a great day for team PR, happy Monday you guys! Let's pop the champagne 🍾🍾🍾🍾 P. S. They both need acting lessons, tbh"

"It’s quite interesting how everything that’s happened before I’ve seen predicted weeks/and in advance on blogs or fan accounts. Like his life has always been so predictable but damn"

"He was hiding the Nike check. That’s why his swim trucks are rolled up to an absurd degree even for him. He knew he was gonna get photographed."

"What I’m noticing is wether people like them together or not, everyone’s saying they’re aren’t a hot couple…there was more chemistry in the Kendall pics by far"

"i also find it weird that he’s not smiling in any of the pictures and it would be one thing if there were five pics from ten minutes of time but there are like 70 from an obvious extended period of time"

"It's interesting everyone involved is being Team Try Hard. Yet the universe says no. The last set of pics, Tom and Zendaya overshadowed. People even paid more attention to Angelina and the Weekend (even if business possibly). Fast forward to today and all this fakery only for Gwen/Blake to tie the knot. His team needs to get a clue. She needs to go. Harry needs to clean this up fast."

"Ok i looked at one hugging pic and one kidding pic and they could not look more stagged. It looks unatural ,strange and weird from all angles. You can clearly see from their body posture they are posing for a photographer from backgrid."

"Like I said in my ask a couple days ago the day we get kissing pics is the day that I believe this is all a stunt and I was right. They took a page out of hendall 2016 and it’s looks so forced and awkward. Hendall did it better cause at prater they had chemistry. They must be scared this movie is going to tank because they are pushing this way too hard"

"Real, PR, or whatever relationship it is, they’re fucking boring. You are on a yacht in Italy, can’t you have a little bit of fun? I can’t believe how boring they are, I just can’t. Even if it is just PR, can’t you make a fucking dumb joke so you can laugh or something? Do they have anything in common like to talk about or discuss or make fun of? I’d literally killed myself if I looked like that in a relationship. They are not communicating in any photos we’ve got. They are just walking, or sitting. Even when they hold hands or kiss or hug, they never communicate."

"okay but did ya’ll see the pic of her diving in?? i can’t stop laughing 😭😭😭😭"

"they look horrifically awkward i cannot believe what harry is doing"

"“HEY PAPS COME GET A PIC OF US KISSING TO MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP MORE BELIEVABLE!!!!!”"

"his ass is hanging out and her bra is almost off what in the hell"

"Hqs on a yacht like that? Mhmhmhm hmmmmm / I bloody well hope that’s not the extend of their acting. That’s dire! 🤦‍♀️"

"this is literally the most predictable “couple” to exist. first, people talked about them showing up the game, and they did. second, people were just talking about kissing pics... AND THEY JUST CAME OUT LMAOOOOOO"

"annnnnnnnnnnnnd there it is. YOU KNOW THEY KNEW THERE WAS A CAMERA."

"ok but where’s the pda or did that get made up? cause these have to be the most awkward pics i’ve ever seen which makes me feel better 😂 also i can feel the meme’s coming with the one of her diving off the boat"

"I call it how I see it they are both assholes and full of shit. Like do your fake kiss somewhere else I do not want to see it!"

"Can they at least act like they’re having a good time?"

"hahahaha I can't stop laughing with that photo of O it's literally her knowing she's being photographed and diving into a professional swimmer style😭"

"the pics are so organic that Olivia is looking straight at the pap before kissing Harry."

"he looked a lot happier with kendall in their yacht pics compared to today’s. i know that was PR too, but he was very smiley and seemed talkative. with this girl it’s like the complete opposite lmao."

[letters-from-the-three-houses]

I know that this is kind of controversial, but, if you're alright with it, would you do some F!Byleth x Claude relationship headcanons?

no worries, anon! controversy is my middle name 🕶️

for real though, there’s no harm. i have a drabble request for byleth/claude that i’ve, uh, been planning to get to -i’m sorry i know it’s been more than a month-

i’ll talk more about it under the read more for anyone who wants to know the nitty gritty of byleth pairings/some mod questions to those who sent in drabble requests (yes, i haven’t forgotten any of you! i put an explanation at the end about the status and such;;)

enjoy!

they play fight all the time

“you’re cute”

“no, you’re cute”

“okay, but you’re cuter”

“and you’re the cutest”

lots of competitions, trying to one-up each other with compliments

claude loves hugs and smooches and basically any kind of physical contact, so he’ll surprise byleth with a tickle, or lift her up into a bridal carry when she’s distracted

byleth doesn’t mind

and she’ll try to sneak up to him to do the same

(claude notices—her heels are too loud—but he pretends to be shocked when she ‘catches him off-guard’)

(yes, she can bridal carry him; that one genuinely impresses him and he’s so proud like ‘look!! my girlfriend!! did that!!’)

eskimo kisses

butterfly kisses

she’ll make an observation when he needs to shave his beard

“it’s getting scraggly”

but she doesn’t really complain when he nuzzles it on her cheek

when they stand beside each other, claude’s arm is almost always around her waist, no matter the occasion

they love running their fingers through each other’s hair

claude loves the texture of her uneven layers

and he’ll tease her by saying that she chopped it off with a axe

the first time it happened, she said, “yeah, i did once. i almost cut off my ear” and he frowned before peppering her ear with kisses

(byleth never tells him she was joking)

(and claude never tells her he knows she was joking)

sometimes, claude becomes pensive and disappears in between important meetings to have some time by himself

byleth can always find him though, and they’ll wait around, silent, byleth sitting between his legs as they watch the day turn into night

she always offers to listen to whatever he wants to say (“if you ever need to talk, i’m here”), but he just smiles and holds her a little tighter

byleth doesn’t press it

and he doesn’t ever explicitly tell her why

but she’ll catch him sighing sometimes, looking out into the direction of what once was the monastery

nothing she’ll say will make it better, but she supports him as best as she can

they have pet names for each other

“honey”

“sugar pie”

“sweetheart”

and byleth adopts claude’s habit of calling his housemates “dear”

all of the 'dears’ roll their eyes at the mushiness

but they’re secretly happy that their leader has someone that’ll support him through thick and thin

any chance they get, you can bet that byleth and claude will be holding hands

a/n: i originally wanted their nicknames to be deer-related, like stag or doe or something similar, but urban dictionary dashed my hopes for anything romantic

[asks are open!]

i don’t mind writing for byleth/student ships! teacher/student pairings aren’t my thing, but it’s an interesting character dynamic in stories. in other words, i don’t advocate it irl, but i’m a-okay for fiction

that said, i’m pretty bad with avatar shipping because they don’t really have a concrete personality? i know we all headcanon bylad as serious and daunting while bylass is more spirited, but it’s hard for me to get a feel for them. also difficult is that they’re supposed to be a representation of the player, and i don’t like shipping characters with myself

but until any specialized byleth headcanon blogs appear (and they’ll do a much better job than i will, i’m sure), feel free to send in any student requests! they’ll all be post-skip unless someone’s feeling particularly risqué, but i don’t mind as long as they keep in line with the rules

(please don’t send in too many byleth asks though. there are only so many i can take before i start getting uncomfortable, post-skip or not :c)

also!!! to all the people who sent in drabble requests, are you okay with me making them pseudo scenarios?? they’ve been collecting dust for a while now and i feel terrible about leaving them in the inbox. as much as i want to write them up, i’m busy with uni and don’t have a lot of time to make ~1k fics—especially in conjunction with all the headcanon requests;;

i didn’t do this sooner bc i thought i’d be able to catch up on the queue but i guess we’re all excited for fe3h! there’s so much happening at once, and the request count keeps getting higher and higher. i’m thankful for everyone being so patient and all, but i really do want to get your requests out, so if any of the requesters see this, don’t be shy to tell me! if not, i can continue treating them like drabbles

[aubrey-plaza]

idk if youre still doing this but: staubrey greek gods au

hell yeah I’m still doing these!

Stacie is Aphrodite (of course she is) and Aubrey is Artemis

Aubrey is the daughter of Leto and Zeus, older twin sister to Apollo. She’s born on the floating island of Delos after her mother is banished by Zeus’ mad jealous wife Hera

Still, Zeus loves his twins something fierce and Aubrey quickly becomes his favourite, often sitting in his lap and demanding a long list of things (one of them being that he never force her into marriage)

She becomes a huntress goddess and lives in the mountains and woods. Pan has a mad crush on her so he gives her hounds for her hunting activities and when she goes to Cyclops, he makes her the most exquisite silver arrows to go with her bow

She’s hanging out in Olympus with some of the other Gods when they bring in Stacie

Stacie is the most beautiful woman any of them have ever laid their eyes on and all the guys spring up eagerly, begging to marry her before Zeus has even welcomed her

(of course he welcomes her to Olympus bc look at her)

When Zeus asks Stacie where she’s from there’s some story about how she floated to Cythera on water foam and was greeted by the Seasons

(and honestly, compared to Athena’s birth story, Aubrey isn’t even shocked that Stacie was formed by the sea and she’s starting to learn that her own (normal) birth is more the exception than the rule)

Stacie becomes the Goddess of Love and Aubrey doesn’t pay much attention to her for a while because she’s got things to do and Apollo to beat in archery

Aubrey quickly realises that Stacie isn’t as brain dead and beautiful as she’d first thought

Well, Stacie is beautiful and her only divine duty is to make love but she’s so much more than that. Women and men come from lands far away for her aid in easing their longing and she’s whip-smart because she knows that love isn’t just nice warm fluffy feelings, that it clouds your judgment and gnaws at you and just plain hurts

It’s why Stacie doesn’t do anything when Sappho starts writing her love letters and dedicating poems to her

Stacie has said over and over that she can indulge in infatuation but not love

Aubrey, in an effort to curb any feelings she might have for Stacie, decides to add more to her plate and tells her father that she wants to become the protectress of childbirth

(somewhere along the way Athena tricks her into staying a virgin goddess but Aubrey’s never really wanted a man anyway and their father already promised her that he would never force her to marry)

The problem with being the go-to gal for childbirth is that it brings her into constant contact with Stacie, because love comes in many forms, not just lustful or whorishness, but also between mother and child and Stacie has always been adamant about doing her job right and making sure everybody has love

“How’s the beautiful Goddess of Light doing today?” Stacie flirts one day and Aubrey rolls her eyes as she pretends to be unaffected

“You know that’s not what I am,” Aubrey answers

“Oh, I’m sorry, Aubrey,” Stacie says and the way she says her name shouldn’t make Aubrey feel as warm as she does. “How’s the beautiful Goddess of the Hunt and Archery, Protectress of Young Women and Childbirth and Bringer of Light doing today?”

“I’m doing fine. And you?”

“Better now that you’re here,” Stacie flirts and Aubrey needs to remind herself that this is how Stacie is and that she’s this way with everybody and that Aubrey isn’t special

Aubrey isn’t really sure why she’s the Protectress of Young Women (because Iphigenia is just one maiden and saving her does not necessarily mean becoming a patron to all women) but she starts receiving presents, specifically from young maidens

Stacie coos from over her shoulder when Aubrey unwraps a golden blanket and finds lingerie there with a note telling her that it’s the lingerie a virgin had worn on her wedding night and that it has been sent as a worship gift

“Is this why you’ve vowed never to marry a man?” Stacie whispers into her ear. “You’re holding out for a beautiful mortal maiden?”

In a moment of spark, emboldened by her worship gift, Aubrey turns her head, her lips brushing against Stacie’s cheek as she says, “She doesn’t have to be mortal or a maiden.”

Stacie looks impressed and impassioned by Aubrey’s words, and their flirtation picks up tenfold

Of course, nothing can ever go smoothly because the Venn diagram of ‘drama’ and ‘their lives’ is apparently a circle

Hera kicks Hephaestus out of Olympus, supposedly because he tried to strike Zeus but Demeter tells Aubrey that it’s because Hera is ashamed of Hephaestus’ deformities (#gossip)

Heph, in true spoiled sibling fashion, does not take it well. He fashions a throne out of gold and when Hera goes to see him (feeling guilty enough to visit him but not enough to let him back into Olympus), Heph shows her the throne and when she sits on it, it turns into a cage

Zeus is Mad™

(Aubrey rolls her eyes because, really, when is he not?)

But apparently he’s hella mad because he wants Hera back and he’s willing to do anything to get her back

Stacie, meanwhile, is the last remaining Olympian who isn’t married (besides Athena, Aubrey, and Hestia who have vowed a life of chastity) and Zeus decides to take advantage of that even though he has absolutely no right to

(for the first time Aubrey understands the hatred for her father)

Because Zeus is so desperate to get his wife back that he promises Stacie’s hand in marriage to whomever brings Hera back

Aubrey goes to Apollo and begs him to try to free Hera and when he asks her why she cares so much, Aubrey can’t get the words past her lips. Apollo loves his sister, though, so he tries. Aubrey will always wonder if he’d have tried harder had he known why, but that’s something she’ll never know. In any case, Apollo fails because he only has arrows of gold and they’re no match for Hephaestus caged throne because Heph is a master forger

Stacie burns with indignation at Zeus’ offer, and her rage leads her to Ares

Nobody fucking likes Ares but she needs his rage and she needs his strength and honestly she’d rather be married to Ares than some unknown second-rate demigod because at least she knows he’s great in bed

Before Ares can even get to Hephaestus and Hera, Dionysus gets involved. Dionysus is dumb as a bag of bricks because he’s always drunk and as a result, he misunderstands Zeus’ words

He gets Hephaestus drunk and Heph releases Hera himself. Technically, that means that Heph was the one to bring Hera back to Zeus and that means that he gets to marry Stacie

(honestly this is the worst thing ever and Stacie is angry af about it)

Nobody goes against Zeus’ wishes though so Stacie marries Hephaestus and she hates every minute of it

“Aubrey?”

“Yes?”

“Did you kill a hunter yesterday?” Stacie asks casually

“Yes.”

Stacie squints at her because even though Aubrey is strict and harsh with punishments for those who don’t meet her expectations, this is a new low. “Why?”

“He saw me bathing in the forest and didn’t have the respect to turn away.”

“So you killed him?”

“I turned him into a stag.”

“How did he die?”

“My hounds tore him to pieces.”

Stacie laughs sharply at that and it’s not what Aubrey’s expecting

“What?”

“You don’t find that a bit of an overreaction?” Stacie teases but Aubrey just scoffs

“He was a mortal man,” she answers with a dismissive wave of her hand

“So if it hadn’t been a mortal or a man, that person would not have met that same fate?” Stacie asks and Aubrey’s eyes snap to hers, the insinuation clear

“You’re married.”

“Eh,” Stacie says with a shrug. “Love has nothing to do with marriage.”

Nothing else happens but Aubrey can’t stop thinking about that word. Love. Because she’d known that Stacie had been infatuated with her, but she couldn’t have imagined that Stacie loves her because Stacie has always said that love is pain

(Aubrey should have known that being the Goddess of Love does not make one immune to its effects)

Aubrey sends Stacie flowers

Stacie sends Aubrey her lingerie

Aubrey sends Stacie gifts

Stacie sends Aubrey more of her lingerie

“Soon you’ll be left with no garments,” Aubrey flirts one day

“That’s the idea,” Stacie replies, trails her hand down Aubrey’s arm. “Then you’ll be forced to look at me in full nudity and hopefully you’ll do something about it then.”

Aubrey doesn’t wait until that day comes, instead appears at Stacie’s favourite love house and finds the Goddess lounging in a clam shell

“You’re such a cliché,” Aubrey says, announcing her arrival

Stacie grins and dismisses everybody from the room as she crawls out of the large shell. “I can’t believe you’re actually here.”

“I can’t either,” Aubrey answers even as she unfastens her chlamys

“I’m glad you are,” Stacie says as she leads Aubrey towards an alcove with a bed. Aubrey removes the last of her garments before reaching for Stacie’s chiton, untying it easily and when her gaze falls on the woman’s body, Aubrey is reminded of the feeling she had when she’d first seen Stacie

“This hasn’t all been a trick, right? To tempt me out of maidenhood?” Aubrey asks when their lips are a breath apart

“Aubrey, there have been many other but I love only you.”

Aubrey kisses Stacie then and Stacie urges her down onto the bed and Aubrey has never felt so loved and Stacie has never felt so happy

Their love affair lasts for a very long time, all without Hephaestus’ knowledge

Love clouds their judgment and they forget that not even the Gods can Mind Their Own Business™

Helios gets involved when he sees them through a window, making love in Hephaestus’ bed and Helios is a snitch who tattles to Hephaestus for the drama of it all

Hephaestus, pissed off like nothing, is a master craftsman, so he forges a trap

Aubrey and Stacie are in bed, naked and closely pressed together and whispering sweet nothings to each other when a golden net falls over them and Aubrey’s heart stops and Stacie is instantly on edge

Hephaestus, angry that Helios had been right and that his wife is not only being unfaithful to him, but being unfaithful with Aubrey, calls over all the other Gods to bear witness

“I’m sorry,” Stacie whispers over and over into Aubrey’s ear as the woman tries to shield herself from the shame

Zeus is extremely disappointed in his daughter and her broken promise and he’s ready to let Hephaestus do whatever he wants to the two when Poseidon steps in. He’s always had a soft spot for Stacie, because she’s technically a child of the sea and the water nymphs love her and he can’t afford to anger the water nymphs

“I don’t care what happens to them,” Zeus says as he walks away and Aubrey cries into Stacie’s shoulder because that’s almost worse

Hephaestus is angry that he doesn’t get to take revenge on and punish his wife and her lover so Poseidon offers him back his seat in Olympus and tells him in no uncertain terms that this is a deal that he has to take and Heph is too afraid of Poseidon to go against him so he lets them go

“I’m sorry,” Stacie says once they’re dressed but Aubrey won’t look at her anymore. “Aubrey, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Aubrey says through her tears. “I’m sorry.”

“Please,” Stacie pleads, crying as Aubrey turns away from her.

“I love you,” Aubrey whispers

“I love you too,” Stacie says and Aubrey kisses her, slowly and deeply and Stacie’s not sure why but she cries even harder when Aubrey pulls away.

“I love you so much,” Aubrey repeats, like a promise

Stacie’s heart breaks into a million pieces when Aubrey disappears into the woods

Falling from grace in Zeus’ eyes is not an easy position to be in, and Stacie understands. She understands it because she has the protection of her beauty and her love, but Aubrey doesn’t. Apollo is not as great a hunter as Aubrey, but it’s close enough, and there is still a Goddess of Childbirth, and there are even some minor deities who can protect women and Athena is Zeus’ new favourite and Zeus makes it absolutely clear that a broken vow is unforgivable, but it’s forgivable enough for Stacie because he needs her. Stacie’s irreplaceable.

Aubrey’s irreplaceable too, but only to Stacie.

Aubrey’s chair on Mount Olympus remains empty until the end of time.

EDIT: I made this into a fic with a part 2!

read it here