#the spotify memes all came around the time of my surgery i want to do a lyric based call to make up for it !

[slautertm]

me versus making another starter call on all my blogs… BUT. i am going to try and wait until after this weekend- don’t think i’ll be active tonight but tomorrow i’ll be RIDICULOUSLY active during the stream. my goals other than the obvious, write are to clear out drafts on here and hannah; go through my inbox, and make some may wishlist!

more IMPORTANTLY. i love you all lots! have the best day!

[pagesofkenna]

1 23 and 25 for the end of year ask meme

yaaaaaayy thank you! I’m answering these in order of the weight of my answer lol

25: Describe a character you made this year

so I made a bunch of backup DND characters, probably the only characters I made besides video game PCs (which were all pre-written anyways). I think the one on my mind the most is Solace; he’s a tiefling Redemption paladin, who was raised by a cult that abused him and forced him to do some pretty terrible things growing up, including instigating sacrifices to their Archdevil (he’s also only a tiefling because of the pact his human parents made with their Archdevil patron - built-in self-loathing!)

I’m probably never going to play him because part of his being a Redemption Paladin is that he never wants to murder again - he’ll kill bloodthirsty monsters, but no people, not even in self defense - but I HAVE spent a ton of time thinking about his backstory, thinking about how he’d handle certain situations, imagining what awful knives to give his theoretical DM

1: Song of the Year

why is this always a question uh. according to Spotify it was Used To The Darkness by Des Rocs which I discovered while working on my Adaka playlist. It’s actually a good song and the title at least fits the year, and the ‘story’ of the song really reminds me of Undertale funny enough. from the same playlist, Slow Slow Death by Los Campesinos is actually the song I spent more time obsessing over - memorized the lyrics and all that just so I could sing along and feel the emotions properly. I used it in the playlist as a ‘man in love with a person he feels unworthy of’ piece but after listening to it a million times I kinda get ‘man in love with a country that’s not as great as it pretends to be’ vibe - like sad national pride, if that makes sense?

23: If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be

oh boy jumping into the serious questions are we. on December 31st 2019 I had a body dysphoria-induced panic attack, I spent most of the day crawling in my own skin and pretending to be fine for the people around me, went to a bonfire event with one of my best friends and ate a lot of chocolate, and when I got home at 10pm I ripped my bra off and drove 80 miles down the freeway away from home for over an hour scream-singing with my music until I could cry properly

then I got to a Place of Religious Significant and prayed to Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother about if it would be OK if I got top surgery finally, if it’s OK that I’m nonbinary, if they could help me get through the judgement of my religious community. so much snot came out of my nose while I was crying and praying that all of the food napkins and paper towels I’d littered my car with felt like a miracle. I felt a distinct impression, reminding me of when I was a child. The person I’d grown to be on that night was entirely incomprehensible to my childhood self, there was so much more to me than I could have ever imagined. and there IS so much more to me, my life and my identity, than I can currently imagine.

when i drove home I watched the fireworks around the desert and my phone randomized to Let Your Troubles Roll By by Carbon Leaf, which is a bittersweet sad song I’ve loved for years but I finally realized during that drive that it’s literally a New Year’s Eve song about feeling depressed at the end of a year, and moving forward, and I happy-cried while singing it for the first time ever

If I got to send a message to the person who woke up the morning after that, it would be that there is so much joy in the coming year that I will not even be able to comprehend. and I maybe already sent that message

[newidaho]

15.  Lex

Don’t have the time/patience/desire to read with your eyes? Don’t have eyes? Well, have your friend read you this:  You can check out the audiobook for free on Apple, Google, Stitcher, or Spotify.  Subscribe for new episodes every Wednesday!

25 December 2054   ///   0600h

It was a special day—and not just because it was Christmas.  Today was the day the world would learn about a technology that would change it forever.

Lex had been through it before.  When the first Lucid Lens was introduced in 2035, people knew that it was something special.  They knew there would be no going back after that one hit the market.  Now, this accessory would solidify Lucid Labs forever in history.  And today was only the beginning.

Other than that, it was a morning just like any other.  Lex lived by himself on the southwest edge of the mountain ring.  Each room of his house contained large picture windows that opened up to either the vast expanse of Western Idaho or the immense valley of New Idaho itself.

It felt right—on one side, the rest of the world.  On the other, the future that Lex was creating.  He often spent the first hour or two of his morning looking out his windows and pondering these ideas.  It was during these moments that some of the best thoughts came to him.  His floor plan was specifically made so that he could walk in circles around his house and enjoy a view all the way around.  It was just small enough to be cozy, while still expansive enough that he didn’t get dizzy from walking in circles.

As he paused to look out over the New Idaho valley, he thought about his role in creating this whole area.  This whole town.  Sure, the ring of the mountains was a unique geological feature that he didn’t come up with, but he was the one who got the okay to thread a hyper train up into the mountain itself.  He was the one who worked with Aubrey Daskus to negotiate funds to build a University up in the mountains.  Without the University, there would never have been the Greta Barn Jungle.  And without the Jungle, it would have been impossible for agriculture to thrive and for water to make its way up into the mountains so regularly.

But he didn’t want to get that full of himself.  There were plenty of others to thank.  Aubrey, as he could never forget when mentioning the beginnings of New Idaho.  His loyal employees, who took the chance to move with him when he built the City of the Century.  Most recently, Mayor Kiyoshi, for introducing progressive reforms that bolstered the economy of New Idaho and kept them the most self-sustaining community in the United States.

Which reminded him—he ought to give Mayor Kiyoshi a call.

Lex put on his Lenses, which he generally didn’t touch until mid-morning, and pressed his finger to their left side.  ‘Call Kyoshi Krispyman,’ he said, remembering that in the near future he would only have to think this command.

As the signal reached out to the mayor, Lex hopped on his bike and started on Perimeter Road around the Mountain Ring.  He had to be at New Idaho University by 1400h to set up for the event—that would be more than enough time for him to get around the circumference of the town.  In fact, he had enough time to go the long way.  It would take about twice as long to get to the University by going counter-clockwise, but it would give him some breathtaking views, and some great thinking time.

‘Lex.’

‘Kiyoshi-san!’  Lex started up his Kaze X and turned a right out of his driveway.

‘What do you need?  It’s 0600h on Christmas morning.’

‘Yeah, yeah, we both know you weren’t doing anything.  Do you even celebrate Christmas?’

‘Beside the point, Lex.  Just because you run this town doesn’t mean you can give me a call any time you want.’

‘No.  It’s the because I have your number that I can call you whenever I want.  Whether you hang up or not is up to you.’

‘And your point, please.’

‘There’s going to be a Lucid Event today.’

‘Okay.’

‘And nobody knows about it yet.’

‘Okay.’

‘Except for Daskus and the Lucid Labs Community.’

‘So you want me to publicize it for you?’

‘I don’t think that’s too much to ask.  Maybe you could put it on the IdahoCam?  Put something out on your Clubhouse?’

‘What time and where is the event?’

‘Lucid Auditorium.’

‘Of course.’

‘At 1600h.  Free admission.  First come first served.’

‘Okay.  Is that all?’

‘That should be it.’

‘Great.’

‘By the way.’

‘Yes?’

‘Did you get my message about the Hume-Tube?’

‘Yes.  We’ll be thinking about it.  There’s a lot going on right now.’

‘All good, Yosh?’

‘Everything will shake out the way it shakes out.  Just a few unhappy citizens.  And of course the New Year’s Party.  A stressful time of year.’

‘Oh, well, don’t even think about my request til January, then.  I hope you have a great Christmas, Kiyoshi-San!’

‘Thanks, Lex.  You too.  I look forward to your event today.’

‘Think you’ll make it?’

‘Mmm, you know, I’d sort of like to.  I’ll keep it in mind.’

‘Great.  Check my Clubhouse in 15 minutes!’

‘Will do.  Merry Christmas, Lex.’

‘Merry Christmas.’  Lex disconnected and continued his ride.

Perimeter Road easily topped the list of beautiful roads in the city, and likely the country, if not the world.  The road wrapped around the whole city.  When there weren’t views over the rim of the mountains, there were views into the valley below.  There wasn’t a spot on the road on a clear day where you couldn’t see downtown, the Jungle, and the University inside of the ring of mountains that made up their high valley.

Lex passed up the Entrance Station—open, but completely empty on Christmas.  Nobody was entering town today.  He rode on and eventually made it to Lucid Labs—his building, built to specifications that his hand was all over.  It was a beautiful building.  And the perfect place to make the announcement that would begin the paradigm shift that was Christmas 2054.

Lex parked on the east side of the empty parking lot with his bike facing him.  Behind him was the vast expanse of the eastern plains—a clear view for Christmas.  Lex opened up his Clubhouse application in his field of vision and connected his Lenses to the camera on the front of his bike.  When he verified the quality of the film angle, he looked directly into his Kaze X and began his broadcast.

‘Hello everybody.  Merry Christmas.  Now, if you know me at all, you know that I wouldn’t broadcast today simply for a Christmas message.  I have a great personality, but I’m not into these sorts of gimmicks.

‘No, I’m broadcasting today because I have some exciting news for you all.  After opening presents, visiting with your family, and having Christmas brunch—or whatever it is you do on Christmas—you have the chance to join a Lucid Event that, I promise you, will change the world.

‘The event will take place at 1600h at the Lucid Auditorium in North New Idaho, on the New Idaho University campus.  Seating will be first come, first serve.  The event is free.  We will also be live-streaming from the Lucid Labs Clubhouse.

‘Hope to see you there.’  Lex smiled and ended the broadcast.  Lucid Labs was already basically a virus.  The video would spread like the dankest of ‘20s memes.

Lex hopped back on his bike and turned it to man-power.  He had gotten the video at the Labs finished by sunrise, which left him more than enough time to get to the event with minimum pedal assistance—seven hours, in fact.

Though nearly 60, Lucid had promised himself long ago that he would postpone feeling his age as long as he could.  He refused to go as early as Steve Jobs—he would get the surgeries and hormone therapies necessary to preserve his youth as long as possible, along with a disciplined diet and exercise that allowed him to bike along the circumference of New Idaho with the gusto of a 30-year-old.

Did he have regrets?  Not that he could think of, but a 5-hour bike ride without any distraction was a great time to try.  He had no wife.  He had no children.  He was lacking many of the relationships that gave meaning to so many peoples’ lives.  But he had never felt that was necessary.  Now that he was past the time of having these things, there was a chance for regret to creep in, but he found that feeling was totally absent.

Lucid Labs was his family.  It was his wife and his child.  Those who worked there, who believed in the mission, who helped him on his quest to change the world—they were his family.  They were his meaning.  Could life have gone another way?  Yes.  Would he have killed himself?  Possibly.  Probably.  It had never occurred to Lex to live life in any but the way he had decided to.  Around 1300h, Lex finally made it around Perimeter Road and got off on the exit that led to the University.

Lucid Auditorium had been paid for by Lex.  New Idaho would not have existed as it did without Aubrey, and it was the least he could do to donate a building to her enterprise.  And a University was absolutely necessary—after all, how can you expect to keep young people around if you don’t educate them?

The auditorium was located north of the University, two parallel streets north of Main Street.  In between Lucid Auditorium and the rest of campus were streets full of small businesses and student apartments.  The auditorium was its own beast, an annex of the campus, separated from the rest of the buildings.

After parking his bike and entering the auditorium, Lex was immediately greeted by his old friend, Aubrey Daskus.

‘Hello!’ Aubrey said, giving Lex a hug.  Though seven years older than Lex, Aubrey also looked great for her age.  You don’t start a city without caring about your health, apparently.

‘Hi, Aubrey.  Great to see you.’

‘So today’s gonna change the world, huh?’

‘Do you doubt me?’

‘Not at all.  Care to tell me what it’s about?’

‘Three hours before the event?  Can’t you wait?’

‘I’m just excited.  Maybe it’s because I think I already know what’s coming.’

‘You do, do you?’

‘Come on, Lex.  We started this city.  You don’t remember telling me your 30-year plan?  I guess this is just 20 years, but still—I have a feeling I know the spot we’re at right now.’

‘And how is your 20 year plan going?’ Lex asked.

‘Enrollment was higher last year than it had ever been before.’

‘And, like me, you believe I’m ignorant about the long-term goals of your plan.’

‘Look, Lex, why don’t we have a meeting after this event?  I’m not the capitalist you are.  My plan isn’t for the world to see on stage—yet.  So maybe you can appreciate that it’s more difficult for me to talk about it in public areas?’

‘So you are getting quite far along.’

‘My lips are sealed until we meet again.  So look, Lex, I have a favor to ask of you.’

‘Go ahead.’

‘If possible, I’d love to get a list of the Lucid Labs employees with high school-age children.’

‘Sounds… Creepy.’

‘I run a University, for God’s sake.  We want to show off UNI to some of the smartest kids in the city.  There’s no doubt they spring from the loins of your employees.’

‘Well, shucks.’

‘So can you get me that list?’

‘Certainly.  Remind me after the event.’

‘Oh, yes, I’m sure you have to focus.  I’ll send you that Reminder and we can decide on a day to meet.’

‘Sounds great.’

‘Okay, Lex.  Good luck with your presentation!’

‘Thank you.  Merry Christmas!’

‘Merry Christmas.’