#the sound effect when it connected with her skull though. WOUGH. UGGGHH. YOUUUGGHH.

[tevos]

lisa swain: it’s fine that i slept with carla. it’s fine that for one afternoon i let myself embrace the kind of reality i could be living in if i wasn’t so afraid that losing it would destroy not only my life, but my daughter’s, too. it’s fine that i’m watching my best friend falling in love with me before my very eyes. it’s fine that i might be falling with her. it’s fine that i know what she sounds like when i’m in her bed, what she feels like, what she tastes like. it’s fine that i had it, it’s fine that i had her in my arms, it’s fine that i’ll never forget the way she made me feel—like the grief that’s been suffocating me suddenly became possible to bare, like i’m not failing myself and my daughter and every other person in my life who depends upon me, like i do want to live and live loudly with her by my side. it’s fine because i can draw a line under it all and go right back to the way things were before she kissed me.

the universe at large, with a really heavy paperweight: think again.