#the sort of thing you find on old vhs tapes at garage sales

[cecilsrandomeverything]

I have just watched all 4 installments of Charlie the Unicorn and huh. That certainly was.

[ohthethingswedoforlove]

Warnings: yandere character; scopophobia; a whole lot of fear/paranoia being described;

  Yandere!Wally Darling, in which you find an old collection of VHS tapes and are able to communicate with the characters in the show. Or, at least, one of characters in the show.

  When you found those tapes out in the wild, in someone's garage sale or a dingy little shop full of dead stock of years passed, you almost felt pulled in by the colorful little world depicted on the sleeve keeping the VHS' together.

  Maybe you have some vague, blurry memories of watching the show as a child, or maybe you are simply a collector of these kinds of things. Maybe you even heard about a certain restoration project involving the likeness of this world and characters, fully aware you had just stumbled upon something very exciting.

  So you decide to pay the small price written on the paper sticker and bring it home with you. 

  It doesn't take many online searches to understand exactly how rare of a find you now have in your possession, all that has ever been recovered from the old obscure show being images and corrupted audio tracks, some merch and a puppet or two. Never full episodes, not even snippets of footage. Aren't you lucky?

  You consider sending it to the team of the restoration project, but curiosity got the better of you before that choice could fully take shape. How could you not? You just had to see it for yourself.

  When you finally arrange the means to play the first VHS out of the collection you bought, you couldn't help but notice the odd black stains covering the tape, barely noticeable beforehand as it nearly blended with the color of the plastic. You half-heartedly try to clean it, but with the persistence of the stain and your growing impatience, you end up simply shoving it inside the VCR player, giving up. 

  Marking your first mistake as you miss the way the stain quickly grew and infected the sleeve of the tapes and the hem of your shirt with the same sunken dark.

  The screen flickers and you're cheerfully greeted with what you would expect from a children's show of that era, all bright colors, silly eccentric characters and possible life lessons. Quiet and intrigued, you watch as a day in the neighbourhood plays out before you.

  Until the episode introduces you to Wally Darling himself, your supposed new best friend. He monologues a bit about the premise of the episode, always acting as if having a conversation with you, the audience, directly. That by itself didn't give you much pause, you know it's common for shows like this to treat the audience as their own character.

  But then he asks you for your name.

  You assume it's supposed to have a short quiet moment, to give the kids at home the illusion that the characters are listening and waiting for their answer, but it starts to drag out for a really long time. Longer than it should.

  Af if he was actually waiting for your answer.

  Some possibilities rush through your mind. Is the cassette faulty? It didn't show any signs of it aside from those weird stains, and the footage itself didn't appear to be tampered with, certain elements of the world behind Wally are still moving, as if that pause is indeed intentional.

  The entire time you couldn't bring yourself to tear your eyes away from the puppet, his gaze not even flinching for a second away from you.

  You finally say your name out loud, as if giving up under some sort of pressure, even if you immediately felt silly for doing it. It's not like he's going to-

  "What a wonderful name. I'm sure we'll be the best of friends. Ha. Ha. Ha."

  The rest of the episode continues to play similarly, with it going along as you'd expect, only to pause for excruciatingly long times anytime Wally would direct a question to you. Even when other characters did their own bits, their moments of quiet would last but a few seconds, not aware of when or what you might be saying to your TV.

  But not Wally. He diligently waits for your response, even as everything and everyone around him keeps moving without him and they start to question why he's just standing there. Staring. Unresponsive to the activities they're trying to involve him with.

  And his responses seem weirdly... appropriate to what you're saying. Frank didn't react to your displeased expression to being told that bugs are friends, Julie didn't actually guess your favorite game, but Wally... 

  He repeated back what you said your favorite color was, adding that it's one of his favorites, too. He only joined in on the game that Julie suggested once you agreed that you'd like to play as well. He has to make sure his friend is having fun, afterall. You find yourself wondering if the way he's constantly smiling is by the design of his puppet or if it's somehow a conscious choice.

  It's like you're transfixed, almost hypnotised by what you're watching. Fascination keeping your eyes glued to the screen, even as a part of you is practically screaming that something's wrong. You're being watched as much as you're the one watching.

  Your breaking point finally reaches at the end of the episode. Wally makes his way back to Home after the misadventures of the day, and the house greets him, in creeks and onomatopoeias, with eyes for windows that make you just as uneasy as Wally's. The door opens for him for the both of you? to enter. And it's dark. So impossibly dark, in a way that feels unnatural and alive. Like a creature patiently waiting for you to place yourself in its jaws.

  And you finally snap out of it, rushing to turn off your TV in an action so abrupt and panicked it felt like fight or flight.

  You barely sleep that night. 

  Stuck in between a state of awake and asleep, constantly being brought in and out of a dream you can't seem to fully grasp. Until you're shaken completely wake by loud noises coming from your living room. From your TV.

  It had, somehow, flickered to life as if by its own volition, replaying the tape all over from the start as a now familiar audio plays out. You stumble your way through your house in a half-wake disoriented panic, and once again coming to face... Him. 

  There he was again, Wally patiently waiting for you, the tape stuck at the segment where he would ask a question to the audience and wait. His eyes bearing into you, you stood frozen at the doorway as he stared unflinching back at you. Has your living room always looked this dark? Engulfed, consumed by it?

  Fear takes over your actions again as you fidget with the VCR, this time with the intention of ripping the tape out of it, caring little of the state it would be left in by doing so. You only started to feel some semblance of relief once you disconnected all of the TV cables and rushed to turn on the light.

  After that night, you didn't even dare watch the rest, throwing the tapes in a plastic bag you left in a corner of your room, hoping it had all been some weird dream fueled by the exhaustion and stress of your everyday life. 

  But it never left you. He never left you.

  You keep having strange dreams, dreams where you are the new resident of a bright, colorful neighbourhood. Dreams where you are so warmly welcomed by kind neighbours, new friends who would like you to join them! And him as well, always so strangely quiet compared to the others but so fixated on you.

  The thought of getting rid of the tapes consumes your mind, but you just can't bring yourself to do it. You can't. You can't.

  You can't. 

  And you watch as the dark that once only stained the tapes now grows and festers in your floor, your furniture, creating a stain seemingly deeper than the wall itself.

  You swear you start to see him as well, in the dark. You're growing oh so familiar with those eyes.

  Wally doesn't understand why you look so scared. He just wants to be your friend. You two could have so much fun in the neighbourhood, together! He's sure that the others would agree too.

  Why are you being so difficult? He knows you can hear him. See him. He can see you too.

  You just have to let him in.

[reel-to-real-emporium]

Who said there was anything wrong with being stuck in the past? Have to have something to learn from, besides- that's where all the memories are.

Officially, Reel-to-Real is a nostalgia shop specializing in all things retro-media. Vinyls, CDs, cassettes, movie reels, DVDs, VHS tapes, negatives- if you can name it you can find it here, and if you can't then they will move Void just to get it.

It specializes in restoration as well as preservation on top of everything else so any old memorabilia you might have that's a bit worse for wear can be fixed right up or kept safe and not for sale. Their restoration center does exactly what you think it does and a little extra, making digitized copies of physical media for archival purposes. Often it's used to restore tapes or improve their quality but they have the tools necessary to fix equipment as well. They also sell equipment to be able to 'experience' their retro-media. Projectors, record players, etc.

There's quite a lot available to own or to rent, though there is a renter's fee included for insurance's sake as much of what they sell cannot be easily replaced.*

*Reel-to-Real takes its equipment very seriously so you will be submitted to a crash course on how to properly use and care for its equipment regardless of if you're renting or purchasing to own. This also goes for some of its other wares.

-

If it's memorabilia you're searching for then you're in luck! Reel-to-Real also sells a plethora of merchandise from movies and bands. Concert tees, authentic props, posters, collector's vinyl, figurines, even odds-and-ends trinkets- and if there's something specific you want you can put in a request and they will get it shipped in.

And of course, what kind of retro-nostalgia shop would they be without selling some old-school candies and concessions? They even have a soda fountain, a slushie maker, and yes, an incense section- because it's completely necessary.

Off the record; Reel-to-Real is more than a little unique. It seems to appear anywhere as if it were always there but once you leave; it vanishes. Out of sight, out of mind. And just as that saying goes; so too does most of your memory of it. It's nothing but a forgotten and vague notion that feels more like a dream than anything else.

Oftentimes, the mind will try to reason that it was just that- a dream. Filling in the blanks of where you procured anything within it and adhering them to facts that make more sense; your uncle gave found this at a garage sale, it was in the attic at your cousins' place and they let you keep it, your mom gave it to you as a gift one year, etc.

Only when or, more accurately, if- you happen upon the store again do you seem to have any memory or recollection of it and its strange owner.

-

Further off the record, there's a reason why they have so many odd things. It isn't just the restoration and preservation of memorabilia. Oh no. It's the cultivation of memories in a much more literal sense. Many of its repeat clientele come in for leads on where something came from or its history, to see if a memory can be extracted to find missing people or family roots. In exchange, trinkets are given...occasionally more on the supernatural side which is another reason why the business front, while quirky, is also exceedingly specific.

In some ways, you could liken Reel-to-Real to being an odd sort of investigation agency. Well, save for the fact that only one person works there and owns the whole operation- and that unless you have an invitation, you're unlikely to ever cross paths with Reel-to-Real again unless it's truly needed.

The building itself has many secrets, its travel not being the only thing. It has hallways and storage in to rooms much bigger than they should be and yet are unknowable until needed. Just where and how this place came to be is one of the many mysteries known only by a very select few.

RECENT HISTORY

[Some potentially triggering material mentioned briefly; bloodshed, parental death, crimes, drug and alcohol use, etc. It is brief but this is your warning.]

Reel-to-Real was given to Moxie by her grandfather, Leigh. [For background on Leigh, look here.] In doing so, a contract was accepted.

It was not always Reel-to-Real but rather, more like half a vault and half a shelter for its keeper. The space adapts and changes to meet the needs of its current holder so long as it constantly has an influx of memories coming in or replacing those going out. It's a delicate system, especially because it is so intrinsically attached to whoever holds its contract. The forgetting of its existence is one of the ways the space protects both it and its owner.

There are some stipulations to being the keeper. One of which is that they cannot leave the space for long, namely because that connection means if something happens to the keeper then the space and all within it are in danger of collapsing forever. It's why the keeper is often someone of more supernatural roots rather than being human. Not only is it easier to comprehend and understand the concept, but the risk is lessened on the keeper being able to handle themselves and protect the vault.

-

In Leigh's hands, it was simply an extension of the Rowan estate. The vault being his own personal office. It was anchored there, rooted in place- earned to him through his conning. Who and what had it before him isn't clear, only that the space had been around almost as long as humanity itself had- made to counter the end of everything in some small way and prevent some histories from repeating.

After he obtained it, he hatched a plan and built the foundation for his criminal family with him at the head. His reputation more than proceeded him and his work had great reach within the city and even neighboring towns, leaving his plan much easier to enact. Business would come to him, and he would pick and choose who he provided to depending upon their intent.

Forming contracts with those who came to him for help and taking down those who had done wrong, restoring stolen things, taking memories, a proverbial Robin Hood through and through with a lot more violence when needed and a surprising amount of compassion and kindness when it was not.

He had always intended to give the space and its secrets to someone in the family who was deserving. At some point hoping that person to be his son until he realized that it would only ever be grossly misused in his care.

-

When Moxie's mother passed away and Moxie was struggling with various jobs trying to crawl out of the mountain of debt collected from the medical expenses left behind, Leigh made her an offer. At first, she had been hesitant. Confused even by the entire concept of it.

She was half-convinced that the man she hadn't seen since she was a kid was finally losing his mind because what he described didn't make any sense. Yet she told him she would think about it before returning to her cabin in the woods.

She wanted to shove it aside, forget the whole thing and keep trying to look for another job even though every job she had she seemed to lose for one reason or another. Yet, she couldn't. The strange conversation replaying over and over in her head, stalling silently over the concept that she wasn't entirely...human.

It wouldn't be until her father came back into the picture to, 'repossess what he owned.' Violently. Claiming that the cabin was his even if he was disowned from the family, that he had more of a right to it. He was out of his mind, drunk and high or maybe even both but definitely not sane- and the more Moxie got angry. The worse he got until an altercation broke out...and Moxie's father shifted.

She hardly stood any real chance, having no idea what he was or even how to overpower him. The end result being her near death and having to get creative with incapacitating him.

She only had enough time to stumble to her feet and dump the container of kerosene she had for an old camping lantern. Splashing it over her father and the cabin itself,trailing what she could quickly on and out the door before barring it shut and lighting it a flame. It took a few tries, her zippo not wanting to work with her fumbling fingers but finally it ignited.

Moxie was kept together by adrenaline alone as she scrambled back and watched flames surge, her father coming to at some point and trying in vain to get out far too late. The sound of his screaming echoing through the forest as the flames grew higher and brighter.

It was then that she ran, bloody, beaten, with multiple broken bones to her grandfather's Estate. Noting with some cynicism that all time in track and athletics came in handy for something after all. She wouldn't make it past the gate of the estate though. In fact, she barely even made it to the road before she collapsed.

One of the Rowan mafia members finding her and bringing her inside.

She couldn't deny anything anymore, but she didn't want to accept it either. She was out of a home, the home she had grown up in, the home that her mother spent her last moments in, all of their things reduced to cinder and ash as best she knew. A nagging feeling tugging at the back of her mind that she should have stayed to make sure he was dead- another feeling saying she should have just run to start instead of trying to fight.

Another wondering if she had really just killed the person that was supposedly her father. Never having met the man before but being told there was good reason for it.

And what would the consequences be?

It was still murder, wasn't it? Didn't matter that he definitely wasn't human-

She didn't want to think about the further implications of that, her entire being feeling numb by the time she relayed what had happened to Grandpa Leigh. In fact, she barely wanted to think at all- immediately telling him without any hesitance after everything that had happened that she wanted to accept his offer.

And it was as though the entire Estate shifted, the air feeling electric as Leigh frowned- about to say something before being cut off abruptly at her sudden acceptance. The deal was complete and there was no going back.

Leigh took her to the space that she remembered to be his office, recalling a time so very long ago when she would play hide and seek in there. He set her down in the chair at the desk and pulled out a strange key and box, telling her that the key was for the office but the box was for her. Telling her that he would take care of everything and that if she looked in the desk she would find all the information she needed, having prepared it a long time ago as a personal journal. And then- he left.

And severed the roots of the space.

Moxie would be confined to that space for a long while, at first scared and angry- until finally she looked over the journal left behind and began to understand, even if reluctantly.

When the space finally became her own and she finally figured out how to get it to appear somewhere in the world she was familiar with; she learned the state of the life she left behind. That she really had killed the thing that was her father. The cabin had in fact burned down along with a portion of the forest. And Leigh had taken the fall and even admitted to many of his other crimes over his long life. The results were to be expected- he was arrested, to be held on trial-

But before he ever made it to the court system, he was reportedly killed.

Moxie was left well and truly on her own once more and connected as a keeper to Reel-to-Real. Hers and her mother's debts were paid off by an anonymous donor. Her connections, however few they may have been, had largely forgotten about her because of the deal, only surfacing whenever she paid personal visits herself-

She was, for all intents and purposes. Alone.

It was here that she decided to change the space into Reel-to-Real, to draw people to her and help people in a slightly similar way to Grandpa Leigh. Keeping its severed roots to be able to travel where she made connections or where it was pulled via strong needs of help.

REAL-TO-REAL HEADCANONS LIST

| Part One | Part Two |

[popculturebuffet]

Pinky and the Brain: A Pinky And the Brain Christmas Review or I Just Think Schotzie’s Neat

Christmas Continues on this blog... and getting away from one set of Christmas commissions and into another, I offered my friend Blahdiddy three commissions as a present. The other two we’ll get to eventually, but with Animaniacs on the brain, heh, due to the reboot, he selected two Pinky and the Brains and one Animaniacs for me to cover. And while I intended to cover this one sometime this month anyway, my friend’s recent and sad covid diagnosis meant i’m bumping this one all the way up to the front of the line so he has some christmas cheer during this rough time. So with that in mind let’s talk about pinky, pinky and the brain brain brain brain brain shall we? Of course we can’t really talk about pinky and the brain without talking about Animaniacs. I absolutely love the series, I grew up with it as a kid and reconnected with it as an adult when it ended up on netflix. It was smart, well animated and most importantly really fucking funny. I highly recommend checking both the original and reboot of it out some time if you have Hulu. Speaking of the reboot while I might go on in full about it at some point it’s pretty good, with some creatvie jokes, some nice updates, with Rita Anita Anrita being a great new addition to the warner side of things. It’s only real flaw is it gets a bit reptitious as for the most part there’s only really the warners and pinky and the brain with a few exceptions one of which DAMN well deserved at least two segments and we all know which one that is. 

Bring.. this.. to series. The warners and pinky and the brain segments weren’t bad, but as is inevitible in a screwball comedy some just weren’t as good as others and those fell harder when you’ve already seen 2 or 3 better versions of this sort of skit in the season. They did really find their groove towards the end and if you like both Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain, or even just one or the other, it’s worth checking out.  But enough about the reboot let’s talk about those labratory mice whose genes have been spliced. Thanks to wikipedia, I now know the duo were based on Eddie Fitzgerald and Tom Minton, who worked with Tom Rutgeter on Tiny Toon adventures, with menton being the one who came up with Narf, even saying it in one episode of Tiny Tunes. During the creation of animaniacs, Bruce Timm, yes THE Bruce Timm, sketched the two, and Ruetger added mouse ears and the rest was history. Maurice LaMarche was the one who added the Orson Welles to the character, as LaMarche saw the Orson Welles in Brain, ran with it and got the part and a long and storied career in voice acting as a result. In a nice and fitting bit of contrast, Rob Paulsen got the part.. because he was already on the show. Not to downplay Paulsen’s clear talent, I just find it hilarious. 

That’s about what I could dig up on the behind the scenes of the show. From what I can tell it was greenlit because Animaniacs was a massive it, and Pinky and the Brain was the most popular segment, so it just made sense. The show would likewise be a massive sucess with both adults and kids, and go on for three seasons and what should legally be considered a war crime. 

For those of you blissfully unaware yeah, that happened, no no one people actually LIKED from Tiny Toons was in it. And yeah if you want me to talk about it commission it otherwise not going near this one. While I do need to tackle more bad animation... I’ve successfully avoided watching an episode of this show for 22 years next wedsday, I’m not breaking the streak for free. 

But some.. things aside I remembered liking the series as a kid but just never got around to seeking it out as an adult. I had nothing against the animaniacs segments and I even still have a stuffed brain doll I got at a garage sale.. the pinky is sadly missing and persumed dead. I just wasn’t as bit into it as I was the slappy bits rewatching animaniacs and didin’t really see reason to watch the show. Watching this though made me realize I was wrong and I probably watch more of it in the future This special is damn good, i’m pleased ot review it and to revive and old childhood memory. So with all the exposition out of the way let’s talk Pinky, PInky and the brain brain brain brain christmas edition after the cut. 

This was indeed a special: while it was presumably produced with season one of the show and is packaged with it both on DVD and on Hulu, where I watched it, the special was aired in prime time and even put on it’s own VHS.. which I found out and of course, like with my review of the Darkwing Duck Pilot, had to use as the art for old VHS’ tapes for cartoons.. was really fucking beautiful and it’s a nice break from my traditional screencaps.   So we open with a clever Christmas rendition of the theme, frequently sprinkling in bits of other christmas stuff, utterly fantastic. The intro animation is less impressive as it’s literally just the regular intro but with a stock snow effect over everything. In case you thought Ducktales doing that was a new thing. I do not blame the team however, as apparently they only had a week to get the scripts out, so I highly doubt warner was forking out more cash for the animation than they had to. They still forked out enough to make it LOOK really good mind you, something I wish they’d do more often with their DTV Movies but do do with their animated shows still with certain exceptions so good on them, i’m just saying they clearly cared more about money than having a memorable christmas opening. Given a budget to actually make one, i’m sure the animators would’ve come up with something lovely, and i’m sure the same is true of Ducktales and other shows and like i’ve said, i’m highly in favor of shows actuallly doing unique openings for the holidays, especially since Holiday episodes tend to get reaired every year as long as the show is in circulation on the network. Sometimes even if it isn’t. So it’s fully worth the effort to fork out a little extra for this as while you’ll most likely only use it once, you’ll be using the special for years. You can afford to treat yourself networks come on. It’s...

Just like Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain. But onto the episode itself after 80 years. We find Pinky writing his Christmas list to santa, complete with Narf, a gag I like. As usual for a comedy show, I will try to gloss over as much of the gags as possible, to avoid repetttion but yeah this episode is really damn funny and reminded me just how good these characters are. Maurice and Rob just have perfect chemistry. It’s like Tom and Jerry: It’s a very simple premise, that one being “Cat chases mouse and Mouse beats shit out of mouse”, and pinky and the brain of course being “Super genuis mouse and dimwitted but loveable sidekick try and takeover the world eveyr night”. But a simple premise can be used just about anywhere and adapated for anything. To me a cartoon’s premise only has to be as complicated as it needs to be to work. Sometimes you have a vast complex tapestry behind the world like She Ra, Steven Universe or Avatar with lots of planning and ins and outs and deep character stuff.. and sometimes you just have two mice who get into shenanigans because one is a would be dictator who sounds like orson welles and the other’s a loveable british weirdo/moron. Sometimes simple just works. 

Anyways, Brain, noticing Pinky’s distracted and replaces himself with a horrifying poorly made doll of himself called Noodle Noggin, which is both an excellent name and not the only time they’d use the name either, as there was an animaniacs short about Brain making himself a fad to endear himself to the children of the future with the same name. It’s just an inherently funny set of words, but also shows Brain’s genius in a subtle and clever way as he never spells it out, but despite sounding kind of ridiculous for such a buttoned up intellectual like brain... he knows that’s the kind of name kids will eat up. His schemes may often fail, but he’s an objectively brilliant schemer and i’ts often either PInky’s incompetence or his own miscalculation of humanity, either over or underestimating them, that undoes Brain.  Back to the plot, so Brain’s plan is to distribute noodle noggins around the world, make it the hot new toy, and as always, take over the world. Problem is naturally two Mice simply don’t have the resources to make the billions of dolls. But PInky stumbles upon the solution in the paper: a want ad for elves! Everything about that sentence except “pinky stumbles upon the solution” has not aged paticuarlly well, but point is they have a plan and we have our christmas special.  This does bring me to my one problem with the special.. Brain’s weird inconsistency towards Santa. What I mean is he spends the portion doubting Santa can do anything he’s claimed to despite being proven frequently he can. That part is not all that annoying as it’s in character with him and while yes, he is a talking mouse, he’s also a man of science and reason and Santa is the opposite of that. That would be fine... IF it wasn’t for the fact that said magical bollocks weren’t constantly part of his plans. Despite Brain constantly throughought the special doubting Santa... his plans FREQUENTLY rely on everything we’ve heard about him being right. His initial plan here ENTIRELY runs on the fact Santa has a massive workforce to make the toys yet even if that’s true by Brain’s own logic, he wouldn’t be able to deliver them. Later when the boys need to escape, They hide with the Reindeer despite Brain just saying santa can’t be everywhere in one night.. which if he can’t then the odds are slim he’ll wind up at Acme Labs isn’t it? It would be fine if the special acknowledged any of this outside of one bit we’ll get to, but other than that one bit.. they don’t. IT’s just really frustrating and really sticks out since the rest of the special is perfection, so this one failing bit really grates. That being said, it dosen’t last long enough to really drag the episode down as a whole, just to annoy me a bit every so often. It speaks to the episodes quality that the bad part ONLY drags so much because everything else is so well put together.  So our boys head to the north pole with the help of a kooky pilot and a santa dummy, this pilot is voiced by Tress MacNeile and is easily one of the best parts of the special. And naturally given their luck, she asks them to take the wheel so the plane instead jerks and causes them to fall out. Luckily they end up near Santa’s workshop and soon apply for temp work with local head of things and gruff type Shotzie, played by Jeff Bennett. And yes that is his name.  I like Shotzie: he’s a goateed elf and Bennett just plays him well.. hard to explain honestly I may just like his name and Bennett’s voice for him, one he used before in animanaics for various bit parts and in shows after this, it’s just a voice i’ve always liked. 

They get put to work in the mail room, which is the bit I mentioned: Brain earlier scoffed at Santa answering all the letters with Pinky simply suggesting that Santa had his elves go through all of them. Turns out Pinky was right... while he may be a BIT stupid, one intresting thing i’ve found about Pinky after watching the reboot that ironically the friend who comissioned this and I discussed is that he’s not ENTIRELY stupid, it’s just , much like Dan from Dan Vs his knowledge is just random.. he can not know how a lot of things work, but sometimes like in this instance Pinky generally just GETS something. It’s part of why he and Brain are such a good team despite their failures: Brain is all about planning and thought and research, Pinky is about intuition and gut instinct. He just does things and it often works out. This also makes their recently added backstories all the more brilliant as they explain this well: Pinky started life just being told to find the diffrence in cheeses and thus was taught form childhood to trust in himself and his weird brain. Brain was cruelly torturued with an experiment on learned behaviors via electroshock, and was taught to never give up control again, to always know what’s going on and to always control it. It perfectly sums up who the two are and why they are that way.  Brain however quickly pivots, as the mail room ends up being the perfect location to start his plans. Since their job is to file away what each person wants Brain simply adds Noodle Noggin to it and plans to put his plans into the workshop. While Santa and Schotzie are suprised and baffled, Santa quickly adds it to the list. However things hit a snag when Schotzie gets supscious when the two try to sneak into the blueprint room to drop theirs off and he accidently yanks off their disguises leading to a REALLY fun chase scene, as the boys end up in a toy wherehouse and thus try out various toy cars: a barbie dream car that dosen’t have a working motor, a toy truck that dosen’t go very fast, and finally an rc car that while fast naturally just means Schotzie can grab it and capture them. It’s easily my faviorite scene of the episode just for how clever it is and as someone whow as a kid around the time this came out, I applaud the accuracy.. granted I didn’t have any of those personally but I had lots of friends so yeah. 

So our heroes are interrogated.. and again Brain brilliantly pivots. Schotzie assumes since they have the blueprints their spies for the easter bunny or the tooth fairy or Herschel, the Hanukah Goblin. Why Herschel never got his own Hannukah special trying to stop Pinky and the Brain from using it to take over the world, I genuinely do not know and that’s something the reboot really needs to adress in the future. Seriously Hannukah needs a mascot and it’s either Herschel or the Hannukah Zombie. Kwanza already has Kwanzabot. I want to see more of Herschel the Hannukah Goblin dammit!. I love goblins. Especially this one.

And this one

And most of all this one

I likes goblins. It’s a thing. So anyway, point is Schotize has the blueprints taken in while our boys slip out and sucessfully make their way outside, though they have to find a way home to turn on the mind control device. They see Santa and brain being a dick refuses to let pinky hand in his letter.. but does as mentioned earlier have them pose as reindeer.  So our heroes make their way home and in time to be able to activate the device once santa’s route’s finished!

And.. then land directly on the mind control device thing, meaning they now have to scramble to repair it. Oh and Pinky is inconsolable after realizing Santa didn’t get his letter and Brain is a HUGE dick about it. Easily the worst i’ve seen him just far more focused on his machine than his friend’s wel lbeing especially since ALL he needs from pinky is for him to throw one lousy switch. 

But we then get easily the best part of the entire special. As Brain scrambles to rebuild his device while abusing his best friend we get a really nice tense sequence as Brain rebuilds while kids all over the world warmly receive noodle noggin. I mean.. it’s not the creepiest doll I’ve seen a kid enjoy. 

Also Bill Clinton gets one because the series apparently really likes “Bill Clinton is stupid jokes” Oh you poor innocent dears who haven’t had to suffer through the president being revealed to be a sexual predator, the one after him being even dumber if not a predator, the one after that being easily one of the best people around, and the outgoing one being a waking nightmare whose both a preadator and dumb beyond all comprehension ina dangerous and soul crushing way. 

But yeah onto the good part, Brain, for whatever reason, reads the letter.. and finds Pinky asked for nothing. He just wanted to give Brain the world at long last, recognizing his friend really and genuinely means well for it and that he’s worked hard to conquer it. And with that goal in reach, with the very thing he’s always wanted his... Brain instead uses the device to wish a merry christmas. He sees through his friend’s kindess and selflessness that he himself.. has been selfish once again turning something into a world destroying plot and being cruel to his best friend... when all his best friend wanted was to selflessly make sure he finally got what he wanted. It’s then that Brain, for all his cold and cynical logic and superiority complex, realized the true meaning of christmas, which i’ve said before and i’ll say again: it’s about giving, about giving someone something with your heart and soul just to be nice with no expectation of something in return. It’s about being selfless for once instead of selfish. I’ts about love. And Brain loves his friend too much to destroy his faviorite holiday. For once the world can wait.. and for once they all join in saying merry christmas to one another and in love and camradire. And I know not everyone celebrates christmas, there are other winter holidays and not everyone in the world would willingly do this. I know all that.. but the special has such a well meaning message, I really can’t be mad at that or get into the weeds too much> This isn’t some jackass making an entire movie, of which there have been several, saying “There’s a war on christmas” which instead equates to them just bitching about not everyone celebrating HIS holiday. It’s about a mouse for one moment truly being selfless and putting ihs loyal and faithful friend over his greatest want to give him a nice christmas and to do something nice for the world instead of trying to take it. And that.. that’s really damn heartmelting.  So we end on the two exchanging presents, with it being a little extra heartwarming as Brain likely already got Pinky something meaning even before his big revelation, he really does care beneath all the dope slaps. Pinky got him a keychain of the world and rather than be frustrated like you’d think.. Brain just takes it in stride. It is christmas after all.. the world.. it can wait. For now it’s just the two of them having one moment in time, this merry christmas.  Final Thoughts: If it wasn’t obvious, I loved this freaking special. It’s funny, clever and has one hell of an ending. There isn’t much more to say other than go watch it if you have Hulu.. you will not regret it and a sepcial thanks to Blah for comissioning this. it was an amazing time and is now a competitor for a spot on my best christmas special list. For now though it’s just really good and I say go check it out. Merry christmas, happy holidays and later days. 

[titaniaintheflesh]

Wendy 1

Jerome x OC

Warnings: mentions of suicide, joking about dark subjects, basically nililism, abortion

“Seriously? How many times have you seen this movie now?” Wendy rolled her eyes at her younger sister, who always felt the need to stick her nose where it didn’t belong.

“Can you please fuck off Joanne?” Wendy looked at Joanne expectantly until she retreated, hands up in surrender. Wendy rolled her eyes and looked back up to the old boxy TV she had bought for twenty at a garage sale. It came with a box of VHS tapes and Peter Pan was almost constantly playing on it. Wendy would hate to admit it but Joanne was right, she probably had seen this movie too many times. She sighed and clicked off the TV, rummaging around the mess on her floor for her wallet. “Mom! I’m going out!” Wendy shouted as she slipped on her father’s old U.S. Navy jacket, the one thing he had left her before he went to get killed by a rouge pilot. Her mom wanted her daughter’s to follow in her and her husbands footsteps, become civil servants. She herself was a detective at the GCPD, just like her brother-in-law Jim. Wendy’s father was a military man. But it wasn’t going to happen. Joanne had a hidden pregnancy and five potential fathers, and Micaela, the youngest, smoked too much to remember the time of day. As for her, Wendy, the eldest. She was a classic burnout and they all knew it. Her black hair was chopped up weird from getting gum stuck in it so many times, she already had five tattoos at nineteen, and she would rather run naked through the Narrows than try hard in school.

“Where’re you going?” her mother’s head popped out from the kitchen. Her vibrant curls sticking to her forehead from standing before a lit stove for so long. Her black eyes looked at her daughter suspiciously. “Wendy Gabriela, tell me where you’re going. It’s dangerous at night.” Wendy’s hand froze halfway to her keys and turned to halfheartedly assure her mother that she would be careful. “Come back home soon. Jim and Lee are coming for dinner, eles não te vejam muito, meu amor.” Wendy nodded in agreement.

“I just need some air mamãe, I’ll be back soon.” she spun the keys to her old Volkswagen around her finger and sent a tight lipped smile to her mother. The van used to be yellow, back when it was her dad’s. But when Wendy joined her band it slowly but surely got completely covered in graffiti. Logos and curse words scrawled all over what would otherwise be a relatively nice car. On the drivers door there was a crude drawing of a naked woman being engulfed by a snake with two heads, each head eating half of her body. Wendy flicked trough the channels before backing out of her driveway, predictably settling on the rock station. She drove for barely ten minutes before she pulled up to a gas station.

“I’ll take a pack of Camels please.” she told the cashier, pointing at the lock box behind her. The cashier didn’t say anything, only handed her the box.

“Smoking kills you know.” she frowned at the boy leaning against the counter. she hadn’t noticed him until he had spoken. She looked up the cashier, eyes searching for some sympathetic “he’s a fucking asshole” sort of look in her eyes. Her eyes were closed.

“Life kills.” she told him, taking a cigarette out and walking out of the gas station with an unlit cigarette hanging from her chapped lips.

“That was awfully angsty, are you okay? Planning on committing suicide tonight?” she took a moment to get a better look at the boy under the parking lot lights. He looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks, but maybe the purple under his right eye was a bruise. His red hair was tucked neatly around his ears, save a couple stubborn strands that fell into his eyes. They caught on his blonde eyelashes with each blink. He might have been cute if he didn’t pry so much. He was paler, much paler than her. His skin looked like milk, but covered in freckles. His eyes were perhaps the best part of him, she couldn’t tell if they were blue or green, but the abrasive light make them glow. No one on the Portuguese side of her family had light eyes, and that all of the people she really saw. She was always fascinated by colorful eyes, always disappointed to look in the mirror and find dirt colored irises staring back at her. He was also tall, taller than her but that was no surprise as in platforms she barely stood at 5′7.

For a moment all that could be heard were his fading giggles and moths bumping into the florescent light bulbs. She finally lit her cigarette, taking a drag before pulling it away from her lips.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but no. I am not planning on committing suicide tonight. That’s next Thursday and I don’t like to mess with my schedule.” his laughter picked up again.

“Oh, I don’t like an uptight woman, live a little! What’s so important that you have to wait?” she shrugged.

“I’m waiting to see.” he arched one slender eyebrow as she took another puff of her cigarette.

“Okay, I’ll bite, what are you waiting to see?”

“You don’t wanna know, it just some sappy bullshit my dad told me.” she said ashing her cigarette and taking her keys from her tote. “Why do you care anyway?”

“I dunno toots, I feel sorta invested in you now, what’s the harm in telling me? Hm? You’ll probably never see me again.” for the first time in their entire conversation Wendy cracked a smile.

“You never know stranger, the fates work in mysterious ways.” she sighed and collapsed against the side of her van. “I’m turning twenty on Thursday.” she told him without really looking at him, her eyes had drifted off to the distance, watching police cars light up Gotham’s streets.

“And you think that’s as long as people should live...?” he prodded. She giggled and finally met his eyes.

“No. Before my dad was called to duty he told me and my sisters to all come up with one question to ask him before he left, like a last bit of wisdom in case he died.” she sighed and tucked a black curl behind her ear, tugging it out when it got stuck in her snug piercing. “I asked him what the best time for falling in love is, he said twenty.” she shrugged. “I’m waiting.” the stranger hummed and leaned against the van next to her as he pondered over her answer.

“I didn’t expect you to have an actual answer.” he admitted. “So did daddy die on active duty?” she nodded through a cloud of smoke.

“Yep, his body went ka-poosh.” she mimed an explosion with her hands, inciting a giggle from the stranger. “The only thing we got from the military was a shitty pension and this.” she opened her jacket to reveal her father’s purple heart hanging where it always did, against her chest.

“Wow! Ya got a hero dad!”

“Yeah I guess, I’d rather have a dad who’s a gang member and alive than a dad who’s a military hero and dead though.” she watched him for his response, watching the way the light illuminated his cheeks and nose, bouncing around him like he was some kind of angel. She wouldn’t have been surprised if he sprouted wings and flew away from that shitty gas station right then. But he didn’t, he only leaned his head against her van and rolled his head to look at her.

“What’s your name?” she quirked an eyebrow and smirked at him, wondering why he chose to ask her that now. “Well I can’t keep calling you toots.” he said, his head lolling down. He looked up at her from under his eyelashes, giving a tiny eye-roll.

“Why not? I like ‘toots’.” she laughed at his impatience. He pouted at her and waited for her answer. “Wendy, Wendy Gordon.” she held her hand out to him and he took it gladly, the pressure of his hand pressed her rings into both of their palms but neither seemed to mind. “What’s your name? I can’t keep calling you stranger.” he frowned, using her hand to subtly pull himself closer to her.

“Well... that’s obvious isn’t it?” she looked him up and down and frowned to say “no, it fucking isn’t”. “Well,” he rolled his eyes as if her were explaining something to a five year old. “if you’re Wendy Darling then obviously I’m Peter Pan.” Wendy was unimpressed, she withdrew her hand from his. and tried to rub the bite of the cold from her nose that was surely red by now.

“It’s Gordon, and I can’t call you Peter Pan, he’s not real.” she told him sharply.

“Wendy Darling isn’t real either, and yet...” he used his whole body to gesture at her like a magician’s assistant revealing an empty box. She opened her mouth to correct him again but rolled her eyes, giving in.

“Okay fine, Peter, tell me about yourself.” he shrugged and buried his hands in his pockets.

“Not much to tell, toots, y’know. It’s normal stuff. I’m from this tiny island, God, it’s gorgeous! Even more than you!” Wendy wasn’t sure if the rush in her cheeks was a blush or redness from the cold but she was sure he could see it. “It’s called Neverland, and-” she rolled her eyes, jamming her key into her car door and yanking it open “Wait- wait! Wendy! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll be serious.” he could barely speak through his laughter and she was already turning the car on. She looked down at him and laughed at how ridiculous he looked. He had his chin tucked firmly against his chest, eyebrows and lips head taunt so he looked comically serious, which is a contradiction. But it seemed as though he, Peter, was a contradiction in himself.

“Okay, fine. Then tell me, actually tell me about yourself stranger.” he frowned up at her.

“Peter.” he corrected.

“Fine. Peter. Go.” the soft sounds of a fading Janis Joplin song rang through her car as, without her permission, Peter climbed into the passenger seat of her car.

“I have bruises from where my mom hits me.” he said, tugging the bottom of his eye to draw her attention to the purple bruise that she had mistaken for a dark circle. “I’ve never lived anywhere more than a month, and my dad’s gone. Dead, alive? Who knows, who cares.” Wendy wasn’t sure how to respond to that, is there any way to answer to someone spilling themselves open like that? So bluntly and carelessly? She wasn’t sure if she should make a joke or hug him, or maybe call social services.

“Oh.” is what she settled with. He giggled manically, tossing his head back at her short little response.

“Don’t feel bad or anything toots, I’m a big boy.”

“Do you want a hug?” she barely registered who she was saying that to until she said it. It sort of slipped out, like a reflex. She was so used to hugs in her family, her friend group, her entire life, that Wendy had forgotten she was sitting with a complete stranger in an empty gas station parking lot just outside the Narrows. She gulped nervously as all these thoughts stuck her at once, waiting anxiously for his answer.

“Yeah okay.” he said, holding out his arms expectantly. She wrapped her arms under his awkwardly, thinking constantly of ten different escape plans in case he turned out to be a murderer. “You can relax, I promise I won’t kill you.” he said, his voice muffled by her hair. Though she still felt his mouth move against her ear.

“That’s what someone who want’s to kill me would say.” she retorted, though she didn’t leave his embrace, if anything she drew him closer.

“Stop hugging me then.” he whispered mockingly. This time his voice made goosebumps rise all along her neck and arms.

“I don’t wanna do that either.” she admitted. He smelled nice, like grass and cedar wood. It was thrilling, being held by him. The danger, the uncertainty made her want to pull him closer. It made her bury her nose in his shirt, taking deep breaths and trying to remember what he smelled like so she could have it forever.

“Well you can’t hug me forever.” she loosened her grip on him reluctantly, but before she could leave his embrace completely he hand his hands around her forearms. She looked at him curiously and unafraid, only wanting to see what he would do. One of his hands left her arms and drifted up to her chin, taking it gently in his fingers as he drew her ever closer. Time drug on in those seconds before their lips met. She kept her eyes open long enough to see his smile disappear, then they fluttered closed. He hummed when their lips finally touched. It was the gentlest kiss she had ever had, completely opposite to the kisses she usually received. Late at night in someone’s trashed living room, trading spit with boys who had too much to drink. Those kisses were all teeth and groping, this one was gentle. His hand stayed on her face, one cupping her jaw and the other brushing against her cheek gently. Her hands clasped his shoulders with the desperation of a dying woman, chipped fingernails digging into the flesh beneath his blue flannel like her life depended on holding onto him.

“Not bad for a boy that can’t grow up.” she breathed when he parted from her. He giggled and bobbed his head, his hands falling to his sides.

“I’m glad you think so Wendy, keep that up and maybe I’ll leave Neverland for you.”

It was well past midnight when Wendy got home. She was shuffling around at the door, trying to get her boots off and probably making way too much noise.

“Mom’s pissed.” came a mocking voice from the kitchen. The lighted flickered on to reveal Joanne stood in the kitchen, arms and brows crossed disapprovingly.

“Really? Just wait until you tell her you’re pregnant.” Joanne’s pleased smile fell, her arms collapsing to her sides.

“Don’t joke about that Wendy, I mean it.” Wendy rolled her eyes.

“Oh my God, don’t be such a bitch Joe, you have to tell her eventually. You’re just not gonna tell mom you’re raising a kid? Questions are gonna be raised when you start showing.” Wendy said mockingly, pointing to her stomach. Wendy didn’t expect Joanne to be angry when she looked back up at her younger sister. This is what they did, they bantered and made fun of each other until the dogs came home, but at the end of the day they were sisters, and they both knew the words didn’t mean anything.

“I swear to God Wendy, if you say a fucking word to her I will gut you.” Wendy stepped back slightly, eyebrows flying up in surprise. Her hands wrapped around the strap of her tote. Joanne sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Ugh, look- I’m sorry.” she said. Wendy didn’t think she had ever seen her sister look so broken. Her back had collapsed, like she could barely hold her own weight. It was only when she heard Joanne sob that Wendy took action. She dropped her bag on the floor and rushed to embrace Joanne. Joanne collapsed into her sister’s embrace, tanned arms clutching at the shorter girl as she finally released long withheld sobs.

“Fuck, what happened?! Did Steven hurt you? I swear, if he laid a hand on you I’ll-”

“No, no. Nothing like that Windex. This, this is my own fault.” Joanne hiccuped, rubbing her yes raw as she tried to push her tears back into her skull. Wendy waited patiently for her sister to explain. “I don’t...” she took a breath. “I don’t have a baby anymore. I went to planned parenthood, I was only five weeks, and I was so scared Wendy, you don’t understand how terrifying it is to have something like this happen to you, to be nowhere near ready for it- and mom! God, I can’t disappoint mom again. Not after what happened to Micaela. And dad being gone-!” she was sobbing again, clawing at her arms as she hiccuped desperately, the mascara her makeup wipe hadn’t taken off running down her face in big fat drops. “I couldn’t- I wouldn’t, be the source of any stress for her.” Joanne shook her head and looked to her sister, searching for any sign of understanding, or God forbid, disgust.

“Joe, hey, Joe, look at me.” Wendy was frozen inside, but that didn’t matter. None of the twisting emotion in her mattered because her baby sister was sad and she needed comfort, so she pushed aside any of the ideas she had of being an aunt. Of a little version of Joanne running around, a little girl with black ringlets pulled back in a braid running around and calling her Tia. Joanne mattered. She was crying and desperately searching for someone to share in her burden. “I love you no matter what, you know that right? I don’t give a shit if...” she laughed. “you become a chainsaw murderer, I’ll visit you in your cell and bring you people magazine and new shades of nail polish. Joe I don’t know what you’re going through, or what you went through, but I trust you enough to know you made the best decision you could.” Joanne nodded shakily, standing to her full height and giving her a sister a quick hug before pulling away to wipe her face clean.

“What are you two doing still awake?” the girls both looked up to see their mother and sister looking at them angrily from the hallway.  “You,” their mother pointed to Wendy accusingly. “I told you to be home. What was so important that you couldn’t be home to see your uncle, hm? He misses you.” Wendy looked down at her white socks in shame, shuffling her feet as she tried to think of a good response.

“Desculpa mamãe, I got caught in traffic on my way back, you know how it gets on the highway.” her mother frowned suspiciously, but just like always the rough and tough woman had a soft spot for her girls. Her wrinkled skin softened, the angry lines smoothing out.

“Don’t take the highway next time.” she reprimanded. Wendy nodded in agreement. “Well, if you had been here you would already know, but since you weren’t I’ll tell you. Your uncle is taking us to the circus next week, Haly’s Circus is in town.”

Chapter 2

MASTERLIST

[sox-in-fox]

Goretober Day 5, The VHS

I bought the box at a garage sale for $2. It was one of those boxes where it looked like the people had emptied out the contents of junk drawers and slapped a price on it to save a couple of bags of trash. I was a sucker for things like that. I loved buying mystery boxes and this was a cheap way to get random things. Sometimes I got lucky and found some cash that had been squirreled away. Found one some jewelry in another one. Most of the time though, I end up throwing most of the stuff away. They are still fun to buy though and a few bucks here and there isn’t a big problem.

I sat down on my floor with a beer and my new box. I popped open the tape and started to sort through everything. There was the normal assortment of junk like broken pencils, pens without ink, and random bits of things. Near the bottom of the box, there were a few larger things. There were some unused candles in the bottom of the box. They may have been a little gouged, but they would be perfectly serviceable for emergencies. But there was something at the bottom of the box that was really odd.

I found a VHS tape.

It wasn’t labeled, it looked a little old… Exactly like how you would think an old VHS would look. I sat it aside, took a swallow of my beer, and stood. I wanted to see if I could find my old VCR. I knew I had one somewhere. No idea if it even worked, but it was worth trying. The tape may have even been blank, but hey it could be interesting.

I found it and plugged it in. I slipped the tape into the player and pressed the rewind button first. It rewound for just a moment and then clicked, STOP flashing up in the corner. I pressed play and sat back with my beer, ready to see what was on this mystery tape.

I heard the musical beeps and boops at the beginning of the tape. The picture jumped and glitched a bit. The previews started. It was the classic 90s Disney opening. Apparently, I found an old Disney movie. Great. Not exactly what I was hoping for, but maybe I could label it and hand it off to someone with a kid or something. 

There was suddenly a metallic screech that scared me so badly, I dropped my beer. It foamed up and splattered all over my couch and floor. I said a few choice words and started to look for something to start cleaning up. 

I happened to glance back up at the tv and I saw… My… Myself. I saw myself looking around, trying to find something to clean the beer up. I waved my left hand and it mirrored on the tv. I waved my right hand. It was mirrored on the tv. I ran to the VCR, slammed my finger down on the stop button twice, and the tape was spit out of the VCR. 

I tossed it back into the box and taped it up tight. I ran down the stairs and threw the box into the dumpster before running back up to my apartment and locking the door. 

That was the last time I bought and random box of junk at a yard sale. The box was missing the next morning.

I hope that whoever found that tape gets rid of it. I don’t know what the fuck it was, but a VHS tape shouldn’t do that shit. It just… Shouldn’t do that shit.