#the skin colors and hair textures are nice and diverse! although they didn’t have hair right for me hence the bun

[cruel-hiraeth]

happy sunday! here’s a cosy little picrew to celebrate 🤍

[silkkpopbonnet]

I’m Ready

There he was again, standing with his friends in a semi-circle around his locker. Just like every day, Noelle was walking to English with her friends; and just like clockwork, as she rounded the corner he was watching her. His dark eyes looked up and met hers, a small grin on his face when he noticed how flush she got staring back at him.

“He gonna break his neck staring that hard.” Her BF Jasmine said, breaking Noelle out of her trance. “Girl what?” Noelle dismissed her, trying not to look so obvious. “For real, girl I'on know why you just don’t say something to him. He’s obviously feeling you.” Mari on her opposite side, piped in. As the girls laughed, a mutual friend of theirs Tyler came up putting his arm around Noelle and Jasmine. “Who is feeling Noelle?” Pushing his arm off, Jasmine rolled her eyes. “Ain’t nobody talking to you, always in someone’s business.” Tyler kept his arm around Noelle, ignoring Jasmine and Mari as he spoke. “So are you going to the game tonight, you know I’m playing right?” Noelle wasn’t listening, she had seen Sehun and his friends coming down the opposite hall. He was talking to Kai, but when their eyes met nothing mattered but her. As they walked past each other, Sehun nodded at her. His eyes cut to look at Tyler’s arm on her shoulder. Continuing down the hall Noelle, pursed her lips and went to class.

One year, that’s all he had to be here. The 14 hour flight from Korea, to start school in America during his senior year for one year only. Sehun was annoyed to say the least about it. Why couldn’t he stay home? He could stay with his aunt. His mother was uprooting his friends, his social life, everything he knew. His English wasn’t even that great at least not to him. She just had to follow his stepfather, a Korean-American man who owned several businesses between here and Daegu. So, on the first day of school in Spetember, in the fog and rain. Sehun looked at himself in a mirror, fixing his light brown hair as his mother stood behind him. “You’ll be fine. You’ll make lots of new friends and have new experiences.” She handed him his backpack, smiling. He didn’t mean to take the bag so roughly from her hands, but he did. “Eomma, please. I wanted to stay in Korea, it was my last year.” She gave him a small smile. “You always wanted to study abroad.” “I said maybe, I certainly didn’t think rainy Seattle.” He clenched his teeth, walking past her to the front door. “Sehun, please. I wanted to be with your father. Can you please just try to be open about this?” His mother asked, standing in the hall as he pulled his coat around his face. “Yea, Eomma…I’ll try.” Heading out the door he looked up at the sky, as a fat raindrop splashed on his face. “Fuckin place.” He rode the bus, talking to the few Koreans he had met before school started. America certainly was as diverse as was televised. He had never seen so many people who looked different from each other in one place. Laughing and smiling, mixed couples kissing. Not that he was against that, no, but Korea…In Korea everyone was the same. When there were foreigners around everyone stared, not because they weren’t welcome but simply because they were different. They were something new in the monotony of the day. School was just like school in Korea, except no one was wearing uniforms. You had your jocks and bullies. There were stuck up pretty girls, and the weird kids that seemed to creep most people out. The artsy students and then people like him, somewhere in between. Looking down at his schedule, he tried to remember what certain English letters sounded like when he bumped into someone. “You should watch where you’re…you’re new aren’t you?” He wasn’t paying attention to words, but the way her mouth said them. The way her painted pink lips pursed and rolled as she spoke. His eyes moved up to her mink colored skin. High cheekbones on a heart shaped face and angled jaw. Her dark curly hair hung around her face, some in her face. Big and bouncy. She placed a hand on her wide hip, slender waist accented by her crop top. “Yes. I’m from Korea.” Ok, why did he say that. Looking into her eyes, he started over. “My name is Sehun. I’m looking for this class?” He pointed to the paper. Holding out her hand she grinned. “I’m Noelle. Nice to meet you Sehun, and that’s AP Anatomy and Physiology. It’s my next class, so follow me.” She moved past him and although he didn’t mean to his eyes went directly to her ass. The way the jeans fit her so snug, had him taking a deep breath but he rushed to her side. “Noelle? What does that mean?” He took in her full body, the way she carried herself with her head held high. She was stunning. “Christmas. I was born on Christmas Eve. Real Creative right? Your name is Sehun what does that mean?” He mused for a second, distracted after he had been trying to smell her. “Oh..Se means like generation and Hun is like…good deeds.” “Nice. So Korea huh? You’re far from home.” She stopped in front of the classroom door. Sehun smiled, wanting to reach out and touch her hair. “You have no idea.” As she entered the classroom, the aging and continually grumpy Mr. Potter looked over his glasses at them. “Well since, you’re the last two, you can sit together back there.” He pointed at a desk in the corner one row up from the back. “Who you sit with is who your partner is for the year people.” He looked at Noelle and Sehun. “You snooze, you lose.” As they slid into the desk, Sehun looked at Noelle smiling. “It’s not a loss.”

Over the next fee months, Noelle and Sehun grew closer. Talking quietly in Anatomy class, smiling as they passed each other in the halls. She had her crew and he has his. The two never seemed to intermingle, but her friend Mari had eyes for his friend Kyungsoo. “He’s so cute with his grumpy ass.” The way Mari lit up when he called her a Puerto Rican princess had Jasmine laughing. Jasmine grinned. “Y’all just falling all over yourselves for them Korean boys.” “It’s not because he’s Korean, I don’t discriminate.” Noelle said one day before school. Mari was busy reading a letter from Kyungsoo, like a love drunk middle schooler when she replied. “Don’t let your brother hear that. Mr. I’m so woke and shit.” “Right?” Jasmine added in, mimicking his voice. “We need to be with our own.” “Shit, if white boys have good dick, and he’s good to me what does it matter? Indian boys…whoever is gonna treat me like the goddess I am.” She tossed her brand new brazilian over her shoulder. Mari chuckled. “Any excuse for you to show off your hair, you kill me.” “Bitch, I saved for this! Don’t act like I won’t rock it to the fullest.” The girls walked to class, and Noelle felt her heart skip a beat about seeing Sehun again. All that snapchatting they had done last night, he was showing off in his pictures of his body pretending to show her a few hats he had picked up. As she entered the class, the first thing she noticed was Kai in her seat. The sub at the front of the class, pointed to the board without looking at the girls. “Take a paper, do it, put it on the desk before you leave thank you.” He was currently reading Of Mice and Men. Finding an empty desk near where Sehun and Kai where she sat down with her friends, her back to him. Class went by easily enough, but she felt…lonely. She enjoyed their talks and listening to his accent as he spoke to her. He used his hands most times, his hands with those long fingers. His lithe frame, and the way he tossed his hair out of his eyes. He was so handsome, he knew it too, but he always tried to play shy when she asked him if he thought he was cute or something. Just then her phone chimed, looking down at it, she grinned. A text from Sehun. How about you sit so your back isn’t to me. I like looking at your face She side-eyed him but ignored it, continuing to listen to the conversation in front of her. Another chime came in. Do I need to come and turn you around? Picking up her phone she answered him. Yea, like you’ll come over here. Then she felt someone behind her, Sehun had a hand on the back of her seat, turning her slightly. Then he pulled up a chair next to her, sitting down so his legs were open and she was practically in between them. She gave him a you cute or whatever look, as her friends made faces and giggled. “Ladies.” Sehun said, his hand creeping up to pull at her curls gently. “Sehun.” They answered in unison, giving Noelle the eye as they grinned. A little farther away, someone Tyler knew saw them, texting his friend about his crush and her new Asian boy toy.

Noelle was bent over in front of her locker, trying to pull her math book from under the crap she had stockpiled. “Come on…” She grunted pulling the book hard, her ass bumped into Sehun who was standing a little too close behind her. “What the..” She turned around seeing him, as he winked at her. “Boy, stop playing.” Closing her locker, she turned around just as Sehun put his hands on either side of her head. “I think about you a lot.” His eternally pink lips hovering near her face. She swallowed hard, he smelled so good. His cologne smelling like cedar and vanilla and musk. He moved his hand, twirling her hair around his fingers, feeling the texture between his digits. “Do you now? Might wanna see someone about that.” She grinned trying to duck under his arm, but he cupped her between his arms again. “Come on now.” He dipped his face near her neck smelling her, and Noelle noticed how empty the halls were now. How quiet the school was. “It’s hard to be around you, and not tell you what’s really up.” Noelle reached out her hand, touching his face so he could look at her again. “Then tell me.” 

God, he was impossibly attractive, never did she think she would be with someone like him. Someone who understood her, and her quirks. Someone she could easily laugh with, and be herself. She didn’t have to hide who she was. He knew her family issues, and what she wanted to do with her life. These feelings though, how her heart skipped a beat when he was near. The way she scrambled for her phone, and prayed it was him texting her. She knew he felt it too, the way he licked his lips looking at her. His lingering touches. Then he looked at her. Really looked at her, she was the only one right now and she was the only one he cared about. “I was wondering…could I make you my baby?” She smiled at him. “Yes, took you long enough.” He moved his arms from around her, chuckling softly, running his hand through his now white hair. Shooting out a hand she grabbed his shirt, pulling him back in. Sehun leaned against the locker, his lips connecting with hers. The electricity racing up her spine, Noelle pulled away. “I have to go, text me.” She moved away from the locker, the cool metal against her back had cooled her down. “How about I facetime you?” Sehun replied. Rushing back over, Noelle hoisted her bag on her shoulder as she kissed his cheek once more. “Deal.” Walking out the doors of the school she didn’t see Sehun, trying to look suave as he went back to his locker to grab his bag. He was on cloud 9, and she certainly didn’t see Tyler glowering from the door frame having saw the whole thing.

“I’m telling you, that dude be all in her face. He follows her, trying to get his little fetish fix. She kissed him and I saw that shit with my own eyes. He ain’t a good dude, just got here, don’t hang out with nothing but Asians.” Tyler, being the good rat that he was, standing on Noelle’s porch as he talked to her older brother. “What else, man. Tell me what he look like?” Her brother Hakeem, leaned against the side of the house, listening to Tyler. Noelle came down the street after stopping at the store for dinner. She heard loud talking, hoping her mother wasn’t drunk this early again when she saw Tyler and Hakeem on the porch. The only reason she tolerated Tyler around was because his older brother knew Hakeem. When Tyler’s brother left, he latched on Hakeem, and she figured he needed someone. When he started following her around, and trying to be her best friend, she smiled but kept him at arms length. As she walked up to the house Tyler quieted down, looking at the ground instead of at her. Hakeem had his dark eyes on her, angry. “Why you so late?” Noelle rolled her eyes. “Don’t start with me. Who else is gonna cook?” Walking up the stairs, she said nothing to Tyler and moved to open the door. Hakeem placed a hand on it, holding it closed. “Tell me about this little asian boy at your school.” Her heart jumped. She quickly looked up at Tyler who pretended to study the boards on the porch. “There are a lot, you’d have to tell me what he looks like.” Hakeem sucked his teeth. “They all look the same, stop playing Noelle.” Closing her eyes, Noelle took a deep breath. “Move Hakeem, I’m not playing with you.” “Ain’t nobody playing with you!” He tried to move into her path. Just then their mother yelled from inside the house. “Stop yelling on my god damn porch! Is that Noelle?” “Yes.” She called, glaring at her brother. “Tell Hakeem to move and quit playing.” Her brother backed away the door, before their mother could say something. Yelling curses at Hakeem for interrupting Noelle cooking and her studying time. “I ain’t done.” He said as she walked inside. Noelle scoffed. “You are now.” At dinner he sat fuming as he picked at chicken, waiting for the opportunity to say something. “I heard Noelle has a boyfriend.” She felt her mothers eyes on her. “Noelle don’t need a boyfriend. She needs an education and to take care of her family.” Drinking heavily from her glass of wine. Sighing Noelle, fought the tears that threatened to fall. “It’s not responsibility to take care of everyone. Hakeem is 21 he can take care of himself.” Her mother grunted, scratching at her bonnet. “Cops out here mowing down black men like weeds. Hakeem needs help.” “And I don’t?” Noelle answered. Sighing her mother took another long drink. “Noelle, you are about to be 18. You are beautiful and you are smart. You are closer to the opportunities that Hakeem cannot reach.” Getting up Noelle wiped her face with the back of her hand. It wasn’t her responsibility to take care of her older brother. She shouldn’t have to look after her drunkard mother. She washed her plate while Hakeem continued. “Heard she been all snuggled up with some Asian boy at school. You know that’s that fetish shit right? He only want you cause you have assets, not for your mind. That’s what any non black man sees! You know this. Stay away from him.” “You don’t get to tell me what to do! You ain’t my damn daddy!” She slammed her plate in the dish drainer. “I’m the man of this house now!” Her brother stood up, grabbing her arm as she tried to walk past him. “You will not talk to that kid again! He’s not good for you. Only a black man can know our struggle!” Snatching her arm, Noelle yelled in his face. “That’s why you be chasing them white girls? Or is because you just think they are easy? What’s good for you, isn’t acceptable for me? Get out of here with that bullshit!” “Enough!” Their mother yelled, slamming her hands down on the table. “Hakeem put this food away.” Rubbing her hand on her face. “Noelle, all I have to say is this. No boy is interfering with your schooling, and the peace in this house. Hakeem is looking out for you. You don’t need to be pregnant.” “Almost 18 years and I haven’t gotten pregnant yet.” Her mother shot her a look, wobbling on her feet as she stood up staring her daughter down. “Go study girl…both of y’all out my face.” Running to her room Noelle locked the door behind her, fighting tears as she sat down on her bed and bit her lower lip. She was not going to cry, she was not going to sit here and let them tell her what she could and could not do. Grabbing her phone she looked down to a text from Tyler. I know, I told him but I’m sorry. That kid ain’t shit And you are? …Noelle don’t be like that. I’m looking out for you. I don’t need you or my brother to do “look” out for me. I make my own decisions. Don’t talk to me anymore Tyler, I’m serious. Stay away from me. I don’t need snitches around me. Noelle. I like you, I been liked you She sighed, shaking her head. In a way she knew, and that was probably the only reason he told her brother. Tyler. I’m gonna be real. I never saw you like that. I will never. You were a friend, nothing more. If you can’t keep a friend’s place and stay out my business, then stay away from me. She let that be that, waiting on the text back from him but it never came. Instead her phone pinged again and it was Sehun. He asked if she was ready to facetime. She replied for him to give her ten. Rushing into her shared bathroom with her brother a door connected to the bathroom from either side of their rooms. She locked his side and showered, pinning her hair up for the night in chunky twists. Unlocking her brothers side, she walked back into her room, and laid down on her bed, replying telling Sehun she was ready. “Hey Jagiya.” He was also on his bed, propped up on some pillows. “Jagiya? What does that mean?” Touching her hair as she spoke. Sehun smiled at her. “Honey, sweetie, darling. All that. So..what’s up?” “Nothing just finished dinner. You?” They talked long into the night, and Noelle forgot about how upset she was earlier. He washed away any anguish she had making her laugh. He told her about Korea and how he missed it. They both shared their father dying. While her mother drank her sorrow, his mother tried was desperate to be in another mans arms. She couldn’t be alone. “Tomorrow is Saturday. Wanna go to a movie with me?” How would she get away? “Just us?” She asked, nibbling on her lip. “I mean…I’m sure Kyungsoo wants to see Mari; and Kai won’t admit it but he’s feelin’ Jasmine. If not, me and you.” Nodding her head Noelle replied. “I’ll let them know what’s up. Let’s all go, we can sit alone. Tell Kai that Jasmine likes men that take charge, if he wants her, he has to act like it.” She laughed, trying to envision sweet Kai being tough. “I’ll pass the word on. Go to sleep Jagi.” He kissed the screen, giving her a wink. “I’ll try.” Laying down in her bed, all she had to do was reach over and turn the lamp off. Sehun chuckled. “I mean I could come over and hold you…maybe do something else..” Noelle cut him off. “Boy bye!”

The next day, Sehun had planned a night trip to the movies with his friends. His mother was glad to see him happier and enjoying his time in the US. “Are you going to be sad that we are leaving? You can go home for the summer, and come back to the US for college. I don’t really have to worry about you going to the military, now that you have US citizenship.” She was making Kimbap as she spoke. Grabbing a roll, Sehun stuffed it into his mouth. “I don’t know Eomma, we will see.” He had told her about Noelle. His mother was generally accepting, she was a hopeless romantic and an artist. She believed in finding love wherever it was and with whoever. For that Sehun was grateful. Noelle never told him if she told her family about him. He had often wondered, but he never pressed it. He had often thought about bringing Noelle to meet his mother. That night, Sehun walked with Kai and D.O. to the movie theater. He was happy, he was excited. About to go see a movie with his girl. He wore fitted jeans and sneakers with a leather bomber jacket over a gray T-shirt that read The Ramones on it. Near the movie theater, laughing and talking he texted Noelle. You there? Been here, Jasmine is way too excited. Where are you? Want me to wait inside? Coming, down the street, no just stand in front, I wanna see you. lol He smiled, grinning even harder when Kai told him he was sprung. Just then 3 guys stepped into their path, one of which he recognized. The tallest guy looked them all over, then stared specifically at Sehun. “You, Sehun?” He had pronounced his name wrong (Say-Hun and not Say-Hoon) but he let it slide. “Why?” “Man, that’s him.” Tyler, that was his name. “Stay away from my sister.” The tallest guy said, taking a step forward. Sehun knew Kyungsoo wasn’t the one to back down from anything and the shorter male stepped forward. “She is her own woman, she can do whatever she wants.” Hakeem pushed Kyungsoo. “Ain’t nobody talking to you Jackie Chan!�� “He’s Chinese! I’m Korean moron!” Kyungsoo said, reaching out to push Hakeem back but Kai pulled the shorter back. Sehun took a deep breath. This is why she never invited him over. “I’m dating Noelle. So when she tells me she doesn’t want to be together, then I’ll back off.” He looked at Tyler. “I thought she was your friend?” Tyler said nothing, looking up at Hakeem, who began speaking again. “I don’t give a flying fuck what you think you’re doing.” Hakeem stood toe to toe with Sehun a good 2 inches taller than him. Sehun grinned at him. “I’m not going to get into this with you.” He tried to move past Hakeem who blocked his path again. “You getting into it now pretty boy.” Sehun raised an eyebrow, chuckling. “You said it not me.” Hakeem threw the first punch.

Standing in front of the entrance Noelle looked around, in her best t-shirt dress and sneakers, she had her makeup done and hair looking right. She knew she looked beautiful, but where was Sehun. A commotion up ahead was illuminated by a streetlight. Was that Sehun…oh lord. Her brother. “Hakeem!” She called out, gasping when she saw Hakeem punch Sehun. Jasmine and Mari were right behind her, as she ran  into the fray. Noelle grabbed Hakeem’s arm pulling him away from Sehun, just as Sehun’s fist connected with Hakeem’s jaw. “Stop it! Stop!” She screamed. “That’s my sister! Stay away!” Hakeem yelled, as he was pulled back by Noelle. “What am I not good enough!?” Sehun yelled, as Kai pushed Tyler away, and turned to see if Sehun was ok. “Hakeem stop!” Noelle screamed as she pushed him away from Sehun and stood in the middle of them. “Home now!” Hakeem screamed, practically in her face. “You do not tell me what to do!” Noelle turned from Hakeem and faced Sehun. “Are you alright? God, baby-I” “That nigga ain’t your baby! Get yo ass home before I tell mama you out here whorin!” Jasmine gasped, now at Kai’s side touching a small cut on the side of his head. Noelle closed her eyes tight. “Shut the fuck up Hakeem!” Her brother was yanking on her arm pulling her away. As she tried to snatch away, Sehun came to her defense. “Let her go! She just told you-” The men went at each other again and, Noelle began to cry. She knew what she had to do. Just to stop this. “Alright! I’ll go with you!” Holding her face in her hands as she wept. As Hakeem led her away, she cried as she heard Sehun call her name.

The next three days at school, she ignored Sehun. She didn’t answer facetime and she didn’t respond to texts. Noelle knew she should but damn Tyler, who knows who else her brother had watching her. Noelle closed her eyes and sighed thinking about Sehun’s swollen and bloody bottom lip. He could throw a punch she gave him that but his face. Why did Hakeem go and do that? Jasmine was the one who told Tyler were they were going that night. It wasn’t her fault, Noelle hadn’t told anyone about what he did. After a few days, she couldn’t take it. His sad stares down the hall, she even skipped Anatomy so she wouldn’t have to be near him. Then, she thought, no she wasn’t going to do this. Writing a note, she came to Anatomy and watched Sehun’s face light up as she took her seat next to him. He didn’t care if the teacher had just started talking, he wanted answers. Scooting closer to her, so that his lips barely touched her ear he spoke. “Tell me what’s up.” His hand under the desk he squeezed her thigh. “I miss you, Noelle.” She looked quickly around the class to see who was looking, before sliding him the note. “I miss you too.” Taking it, Sehun read what it said anxiously as to what would happen. “So we aren’t gonna talk right now? What does your brother look through your phone? You can’t text me?” She closed her eyes tight, hearing his voice low and annoyed. “Sehun, please.” “Please? I’m asking you please, jagi come on.” He let his fingers slide up her thigh. Looking at him, truly looking at him for the first time in days, she looked at him with a small smile. “Just do what it says ok?” That evening Noelle acted normal, she packed a bag and waited until her mother boozed herself out for the night. Hakeem seemingly satisfied she wasn’t talking to Sehun anymore was gone for the night. Quietly, Noelle locked the front door behind her, and walked to the location she was to meet Sehun. The older home had once belonged to her great-aunt and was in pretty good condition just bare. A dilapidated couch, threadbare rug, some bookshelves, and a few knick-knacks are all that hung around. Her mother never sold it or did anything with it. Opening the front door, Noelle was grateful for the thick curtains on the windows and began placing candles down strategically lighting them. Some soft music in the corner, she waited for him to arrive. Ten minutes later there was a soft knock on the door. She steeled herself, opening the door to Sehun’s face. He grabbed her, his left hand on the back of her neck, the right hand on her ass gripping it tightly. His mouth ravaged hers, taking the taste of her to memory. Noelle had never been kissed like this, her hands on his waist she pulled him closer. Their hearts beating rapidly, as his tongue entered her mouth moving around the space. Sehun broke the kiss, gasping. “Why have you been ignoring me?” Walking away from him, Noelle closed the door locking it. “Some people my brother knows have been watching me, I didn’t want him to try to come for you again.” Following her to the living room, Sehun took in the sights, she was trying to make this romantic. She had space just for them, and she was trying to amend things. “Noelle, I don’t care. All I care about is being with you.” “I care about us too, but I don’t want the drama associated with it.” She put her hands up then stood away from him. “It’s your brother’s drama. My lip is fine, I’m still cute right?” He grinned at her, putting a peace sign near his face. She laughed. “You’re more than cute.” Silence fell over the room. Sehun knew what he wanted to say, what he could say. “You give me a feeling that I never felt before. I deserve it, you deserve it Noelle.” He crossed the room taking her hands in his, the orange candlelight playing over his features. “This is growing into something I can’t ignore.” “Sehun..” He placed a finger on her lips, silencing her. Noelle stood there watching his dark eyes, as he stared into hers. “After we graduate, I’m going back to Korea. I want you to come with me.” Her head darted up. To Korea? She had never even been outside of the country. Outside of Washington State! “I don’t know.” “I don’t want to leave you behind. I can’t. Just think about it, for me?” He didn’t give her a chance to answer, pulling her down on the blanket she laid out, he kissed her hungrily. His mouth moved over her neck and jawline. Placing light kisses until he got to her mouth where he let his tongue flick over her lips and across her tongue. Noelle moaned, his hands gripping her body, pulling her closer in between his legs. He needed her, he wanted her more than anything. Noelle’s hands found his chest, as she rubbed her fingers along his light muscle and across his broad shoulders. Breaking the kiss, she turned her face away from him. “I’ve never done this before…so.” Sehun placed a hand on her shoulder pushing her down onto the blanket. “I’ll take care of you, I’ll always take care of you.” Finally, she thought someone took care of her, instead of the other way around.

Naked, they laid on the blanket, Sehun pulling her arms above her head so she would stop covering her body. “I want to see all of you.” He whispered, kissing down her body. His mouth found a nipple, and she held the mound in one hand, keeping her hands bound with the other. He closed his lips over her breast and sucked gently, letting his tongue smooth over a brown areola and around the coconut-shaped orb. She moaned, moving her body into his touch. Slowly, he let her go, hands trailing down her taut stomach he kissed to the temple of her body. Opening her legs, he positioned himself in between them kissing up and down her thighs. Noelle was embarrassed. Sure, she groomed down there but she never had a man about to use his tongue on her before. Hell, she never had sex before. Now here she was turning her face away into the blanket. Damn, she had worked herself up knowing what she was getting into but here was the moment of truth. “Stop Jagiya, you’re beautiful, let me taste you.” He murmured, his white hair dipping in between her thighs. His tongue made long, smooth and slow strokes up her slit causing Noelle to jump from the new contact. God, if it felt this good now, what would happen when he really got started. Slowly, as he kissed, nipped and sucked on her legs fell open and she gave her body over to the sensation. The December wind howled outside, and she closed her eyes thinking of how perfect this was. Sucking on her pearl, Sehun grunted when she let a moan escape. Wetting a finger he slipped it inside her tight channel and moved it. Hooking his finger up letting her get used to the feeling. She had confessed she masturbated before, but he knew it was clitoral stimulation only. His tongue laving attention on her clit, one finger rubbing against her spot, he placed his hand on her lower belly and pushed gently. One too many pornos taught him this. He watched as Noelle grabbed his hands, her head moving from left to right as she bucked on his face. “Oh god, Sehun.” She groaned. He smiled, adding another finger making her gasp as he, moved his finger enough to allow his tongue to pass when he licked her from root to tip. That was it, Noelle felt the low, lusty wave begin in her pelvis and move downward, the warmth spreading she cried out, stomping her foot when he orgasm hit her. Sitting up, Sehun stroked himself watching as she gasped and tried to catch her breath, he removed his fingers from her licking them clean. “Was I too loud?” Arm thrown over her face. Sehun chuckled. “I like you loud.” He placed his body over hers, letting his throbbing length hit her slit and Noelle sucked in a breath. Rubbing himself against her, Sehun bit back a groan wanting to be inside of her so bad. “Wait,” Noelle said, placing a hand on his chest. He couldn’t wait, he just wanted to be in. “I know this is gonna hurt so move slow, and-” She reached for her jeans and pulled out a condom. “Put this on.” Of course, how could he forget? Sehun quickly slipped the roll over his shaft. He always practiced safe sex, the handful of times he’d done it but he was so eager to inside Noelle. Usually, it was just wham, bam, thank you, mam. Hovering over her once more, Sehun held himself up on his elbows and stared at her. His fingers tangled in her hair as he rubbed his aching tip against her entrance. “I’ll go slow, just tell me what you want.” Letting his face nestle into her shoulder, he laid his weight on her just enough, pushing in. God, she was tight, he backed up and did it again getting in the first inch. Noelle lifted her legs, and hummed, her arms around his neck as she braced herself. “I’m just gonna push,” Sehun replied, he felt her shake her head and in he went. His length slamming home, their pelvis bones connected, he groaned and waited for her to adjust to him. He needed to move, he wanted to move. He held on though, feeling his shaft throb inside of her. Noelle laid there, the searing heat of the entrance was dissipating. She rubbed her thighs against his sides, voice hoarse. “Move, baby.” That’s what he wanted to hear, pulling all the way out he pushed home, her whine in his ear, Sehun turned his face and kissed along her jaw, speeding up giving her what he had. He didn’t want to come fast, he wanted her to savor this. He was her first, he was going to make sure she had a good time. Holding onto one of her thighs, Sehun moved fast within her. Feeling her lift her hips every time he connected. In and out. Her moans and groans timed well with the way he moved. She wanted more, nails going down his back, how hot was it in here? His mouth found hers again, and Noelle kissed him hungrily, whispering her devotion into his mouth, while Sehun pushed his promises into hers. I need you I love you Baby, you feel so good Just like that, please don’t stop She bit down on his shoulder, just as she closed her eyes and the light burst from behind them. Sehun felt her moisten, the way she held tight onto his body, he knew she was coming. Looking down at her face, he watched as she came undone and he came with her. Laying in the darkness, Sehun rubbed her shoulders. Her ass pressed firmly against him. “I can’t describe what I feel like right now. I feel like I could just fly or something.” Noelle said turning her face so he could see her. Sehun breathed deep. “This is how it feels when it’s meant to be.” 

Quietly, they lay together watching the first snowfall come down.

Months passed. She didn’t care and neither did he. They were together and everything was perfect. Before they knew it it was summer and graduation was here and then gone. Sehun was preparing to go home once more, back to Korea. Originally he though how he never wanted to be here, and now he wondered what his life would be like if he never left. He had Noelle and she had him. “Have you thought about it yet?” Sehun asked as they got shaved ice from a vendor. Noelle got a passport, she was 18 she could do what she wanted. She loved her mother but; this was her life. She loved her brother but no one was going to rule her. “Yes and no, this is a big thing. I’m 18 and you’re 19.” She bit into the blue raspberry flavor. “I want to be with you. You can do this, your Korean is…ok.” He laughed, remembering how awkwardly she said certain words. Pushing him with her elbow, Noelle rolled her eyes. “Yea, yea.” Sehun stopped her under the shade of a giant sycamore. “Is it your brother?” “It’s more than that. It’s leaving and I don’t know if we will come back.” She watched some dark clouds roll in and prayed it didn’t rain again. “We can come back. College in the US or Korea. We applied to both.” Sehun ate, watching her face. “I know…” She trailed off and he left it. She knew when he was leaving, and a week later, she sat in her room listening to music as she straightened up. Bright LED lights flashed in front of her window and she sighed. “Who the hell is tha?” She heard Hakeem downstairs, and walked down the stairs where her mother was half drunk in the kitchen eating. Hakeem gritted his teeth when he saw her. “Is that that dude? Where are you going?” Ignoring him Noelle took a deep breath, kissing her mother on the forehead. “I love you Ma.” “Mhm.” Her mother answered, taking another swig. Noelle walked past her brother and looked out the door. Sehun sat in the car, he saw her. Would she stay or would she go? She closed her eyes remembering their conversation. “I’m leaving a week from now, I’ll come by. If you want to go, just pack and I’ll come get you.” “If I don’t?” “I’ll give you the choice, either way I’m coming to see.” Swallowing hard, Noelle looked back at her brother and her mother who was now asleep. Picking up the duffel bag she left near the door, she opened it and walked out. She was ready.

[yesemcollins]

Just hours after being born, I was lifted to the popcorn ceiling of the hospital by my Uncle Tony with The Lion King's Circle of Life playing in the background. I was born in the Clermont Mercy Hospital on February 11th, 1995. I wasn't told much of the day of my birth, but the story of my father and uncles showing up in the hospital smelling of cheap weed and booze was often told at my birthday parties. My grandmother sat by my mother's side, holding me like treasure. My Aunt Elizabeth could hardly put me down. My uncles looked at me like I was the most beautiful girl in the world. These were the pictures of the day of my birth. Not a single picture of my mother holding, or looking at me with that maternal glow of unconditional love. She wasn't even the one to name me. My Aunt Elizabeth liked the name Naomi Alexandria, so that was what was put on my birth certificate. There was one picture of my father, young and scared holding a tiny bundle. That's how I knew he was there, the only way I would have known he was there.

My father left before I turned one year old. My mom says that he showed up one day with a tattoo on his chest after just turning eighteen. A heart with a ribbon around it, mine and her name written in curly letters. He was supposed to use the money she had given him for diapers, but I guess some part of him thought it would be a grand gesture of his love for us. Mom took his clothes and threw them out the door, she told him to never come back. And I don't think he had ever planned to.

We lived in the Bellavista apartments then, My Abuela, my mother, and My Uncle Mike. My Aunt Elizabeth was living in the dorms and my Uncle Tony had saved up for an apartment of his own for college. It was a small complex with a metal playground spray painted yellow at the entrance. I don't remember the place very well. When I've sat down and recalled my memories of the place, rust colored brick and stale cigarettes are what comes to mind. There are pictures of my first birthday in that small apartment. My aunt dressed up in one of those old Barney costumes, the plum colored dinosaur with a neon green belly. The complex kids were so excited they pushed her right to the ground. It was right after we had cake and icecream, which Aunt Elizabeth deeply regretted when a child projectile vomited right on her as she laid wiggling on the ground.

Soon after my Uncle Mike moved away for college, My Abuela and Mother decided to move to Silverton, a small town closer to the city. My Abuela started working at a local charter school as a spanish teacher and managed to get my mother a job there as well. Since they worked the same hours, I was sent to Happy Hearts daycare. It had a big yellow sign that you could see from the highway with writing in a crayon texture. It was a tall building red building, I remember thinking it looked like a barn on stilts as we climbed the narrow steps to the single white door. It was a crowded daycare that smelled of mildew from the leaky ceiling.

Some days I was taken to a truck rental shop owned by my mother's friends. They had an office that smelled of oil, cigarettes and cat piss. I had a corner where I could sit and color or look at books. When the computer wasn't in use, I would play pinball and randomly click grey squares in minesweeper; not knowing the meaning behind the numbers that appeared. The shop had a number of stray cats that roamed the ground, I would lay out lunch meat for them when I came. Sometimes they'd let me pet them, one even let me sneak it into my backpack and take it home. My mom made me get rid of it as soon as she heard the low mews coming from my bedroom.

Once I was old enough to start kindergarten, my Abuela started taking me to work with her. It was nice having my grandmother as part of the staff in my school. She would check on me between classes and there never was an issue that lasted too long. Bullying was hardly an issue as the girls all were blue pleated skirts with our white polos tucked into the waistline, the boys wearing pants instead. The school was based on diversity, making the world a united place. We learned of all the different cultures and religions, and were taught one of the three offered languages.

My first childhood friends were made at Technical College Peperonity World Academy. Samantha Rupert was the exact opposite of me, which might have been why we got along so well. Her thin blonde hair was cut just above her shoulder with a straight fringe that stopped just above her bright blue eyes. Light freckles dusted her light pink skin which gave her a contradicting girly look. She was wild and rough, she hated to wear dresses and loved to get dirty. She often showed up in torn up jeans and stained shirts. Not because her family was poor, but because her mother got tired of sending her to school in brand new dresses just for them to be torn and covered in paint when she went home.

Joshua Williams was an awkward boy, but his silliness always kept us entertained. His tight curls were shaved down, showing his mahogany skin. When he spoke bubbles would form at the corners of his mouth, giving a gurgling sound. He lived just down the street from me, so we often would go to school together.

Christopher Helton was a bit like the male version of Sam. He was beautiful and carefree. He had a big smile and an infectious laugh. Chris and I were much closer than the others in our group, as we played soccer together as well. Our mother's always joked that we'd get married someday, and I think we had grown up believing it.

By this time my mother had started working as a dispatcher at the local police station. This is where she met John Williamson. He was a tall and long faced man, with clear blue eyes and a head that he refused to acknowledge as balding. His teeth were short from constant grinding. When he smiled they pressed together reaching the length of normal teeth. I have always said I didn't like John, something about him made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. However, My Mother believed it was because I met John the same year I was reintroduced to my Father.

It was a very confusing year for me, when I turned four. After my Mother started dating John, he convinced her to move into an apartment of her own. She agreed that it was time, but didn't want to stray too far from my Abuela. So we moved into an apartment just around the corner, when we walked to visit there was only one house between us. One day when I was skating in my attachable skates on the sidewalk in front of our home, a man and a woman approached me. The man looked familiar, like someone I might have seen in passing. When the man told me he was my dad, I looked to my Abuela to be sure. He then introduced me to his wife, Gretchen. She was a pretty woman, with coal black hair and grey eyes. She had alabaster skin that was smooth with a warm glow. Her smile was kind and her voice was gentle. I liked her from the start, and enjoyed her affectionate words.

That was the start of my dad's visits and my life with John Williamson. My Mother would often leave me with my Abuela to go on dates with John, when they'd return I'd watch them kiss goodbye in his white ford truck. As their dates progressed, she stopped picking me up at night and sometimes would leave me at my Abuela's house for the whole weekend. I was hardly bothered by this fact, I love my abuela. Each morning she'd make me a breakfast of pancakes, eggs and turkey bacon with a crescent roll. My favorite part of our morning was sharing a hot cup of lipton tea with cream and sugar. She always made it taste just right, it took me years to get my tea to taste the way she made it.

But our mornings soon came to an end, when John asked my mother to move with him to another town. John was a handyman, he would buy junk cars and houses to fix them up and make them pretty. Then he'd turn around and sell them for much more than he bought them for. To save money, he lived in the houses he worked on. He had just bought a property on the eastside of Cincinnati, in a really nice town. And just like that, my world changed. I don't have many early memories of my mother. So I can't say if John changed her or if she had always been the way she was towards me. But I know one thing for sure, my Mother and John were a bad mix.

Moving in with John at that first house, my mother had to end her lease at the apartment. We got rid of all our furniture, since he had everything we needed. All we brought with us were our clothes and her car. I switched school and had to say goodbye to my friends. And though my Abuela was just an hour away, saying goodbye to our abundant time together was the hardest.

The first time John kicked us out, it was the middle of the night. They had been screaming at each other all day. Turned out, John was married. John was in the middle of a separation from his wife. What my mother hadn't known was that his wife was 9 months pregnant. I don't remember the exact words exchanged that night, or how the argument even started. What I do remember is being shaken in my bed to wake up, wrapping a blanket around me as I dragged my feet across the floor and my shoes being thrown at me. My mother screamed at John as she snatched random items around the house, and urged me to hurry. We slept in her car that night, after roaming around town. The next morning we returned to the house, they screamed some more and then made up like nothing had happened.

I never thought to question the relationship of my Mother with John. Visiting my father, although much more pleasant, was nearly similar. Every year in the summer, my dad and his wife would take me back to their home in Greensboro, North Carolina and I'd spend half the summer with them. They lived with Sarah's parents, as my dad saved money for them to buy a house. They shared one car but since the family did everything together, it didn't seem to trouble anyone. Sarah's family was very spiritual, they're home smelled of burning essence and they believed in a peaceful way of life. We did pottery, painting, and paper mache. Looking back now, I'd almost call them hippies. But as peaceful as Sarah's family was, her relationship with my dad was not. They too often screamed and fought, at this point I believed it was just what couples did. It had become my new normal. Even still, I looked forward to my time with my Dad and Sarah. They didn't make me clean as much as I did back home. I wasn't expected to be silent and out of sight. I felt like I was a kid, carefree and enjoying the beauty the world had to offer me. But like most good things in my life, it didn't last long.

After multiple moves, and being kicked out so often I had started having a go bag; one summer, my dad never came. When the phone rang, he was never on the other end. When I checked the mail, I was disappointed to see no letter with my name on it. I didn't know what happened at the time, all I knew was that my dad had chosen not to talk to me anymore.

I've been called naive once or twice in my life. Whether that is a positive or negative thing, I'll leave that to you to decide. I like to think that I'm just opJohnistic, I don't like to stay in the darkness for too long. Growing up, I had a fair mix of pleasant and unpleasant memories. For each displeasing memory, I would think of a better one. Like when I had left the dirty dishes in the sink. John came home from work and pulled me out of bed then made me stand outside in the snow. My bare feet felt like they were on fire. I held myself tightly as I stood in my red flannel nightgown, trying to open a window or door to get back in. The phone had rang just before he pulled me back inside and sent me to bed. When I told my mom the next day, she just reminded me to keep up with my chores and it wouldn't happen again. I love the snow though, because snow in Cincinnati is the first sign of the holidays. My family was always close growing up. We met for church every sunday and would have dinner once a week together at Abuela's house. When my Aunt and Uncle's married, they often would have me over or come to my soccer games. When they had children, I saw them slightly less but I was still invited to join them on camping trips or days at the aquarium. Christmas however was my favorite, because we'd all get together and have a big family dinner. The cousins would all play, while the adults laughed and teased each other. We'd go ice skating at Fountain on the Square and see the festival of lights at the zoo. We'd get hot chocolate and pralines before going on a carriage ride through Downtown Cincinnati. Being with my family, was my calm between storms.

Now I hadn't always realized the terrors of the life I lived. Most things just seemed normal, I hadn't really known anything different. And even when things seemed bad, I always found a reason to look past it. Like I said, I've been called naive once or twice in my life. But the year that John moved us to Amelia, I was in for a wake up call.