#the shame and self loathing that results from that is rather counterproductive

[kendrixtermina]

Extra Typology Vol #2 - 24. The Types ft. Stress Reactions

Common flaws and breaking points manifested by the types, and some advice on how to overcome them. 

[Here comes the real talk]

Lunar

Counterproductive Behaviors: ‘Deadly Honesty’ - Viewing the world in a clear, simple way, even a sophisticated adult individual may on occasion speak or actin a way that others find naive, inept or innapropriate. Even when the Lunar knows, from experience. that behaving a particular way will not give them the result they want, they will continue to do so, with the excuse that it’s just what they “have” to do on matter of principle - they may secretly be proud of their ‘honesty’, yet they will suffer when they see how others react. They know that they should not tell the world everythng about themselves and what they are doing - yet they will also not be able to draw a line and curb their deadly honesty. 

They may also have a curiously over-developed and skewed sense of responsibility that leads them to agree to things that have nothing to do with thm, or that put them in a difficult position. They promise things that they should not, and then suffer trying to keep the promise. 

Unhappiness: Typically approaches the outside world with confidence and kindness, but retreats into their internal world when this is rebuffed. They leave as an expression of their inner pain and pile on the agressin in hope that this will somehow turn off the pain. 

They’ll reject help from the outside because they believe it’s better to be internaly ‘locked down’ - exposing their terror and pain to the outside world, and having the other side make an inadequate and unhelpful intervention is worse than coping on their own - so they’ll both isolate themselves rather than communicating, and fabricate increasingly unlikely ideas about ho to “get out of it” - by the time they let the outside world in, things have already gone seriously out of whack and they now for someone to turn into a “savior” or parental substitute, ending out seeking out scenarios in which they can be helpless and the object of sympathy when what they really need is to have their strenghts validated and supported. 

Solutions: Cultivate a sense of self-protection. Let go of the notion that you have to speak out about everything you know. Do not see yourself as the one who magically sorts out everyone else’s mess. 

Facing the consequences of your actions without running away or drowning in self-pity will always be an invaluable life lesson, as long as you accept emotional responsibility toward yourself and others. 

[Sigh. ‘Tis some real-talk there. I’ll need to meditate on that.]

Venus

Counterproductive Behaviors: ‘Deadly image-consciousness’ - the idea that beauty requires pain. Fixation on appearance to an unhealthy, self-destructive degree, from wearing uncomfortable clothes & makeup all the way to unhealthy body shame and being unable to cope with aging - Being a slave to image requires discipline, but the rewards are often transitory and without real worth

Unhappiness: They may feel that they can only be happy when they feel themselves well reflected in the opinions of others. Being far from the centre of intellectual thought, they may react to fleeting, valueless comments in their version of seriousness and genuinely suffer as a result - the need to compare well & please everyone becomes a form of slavery, particularly since they always have to overcome their natural inertia to do so. 

They may deny themselves experiences, reasoning that it might be too uncomfortable (wrong weather etc.) all the while wishing for someone to sweep them out of their languor, but as this type works indirectly, they fail to communicate that, and the other, not being a mind-reader, may not be capable of the “big gesture” they secretly crave - the more unhappy they become, the more they concentrate on winning a beautiful mate and they more they will be strapped to appearances - which can also lead to defeat because others may see right through their expensive haircuts, and this form of vanity is liable to transform into feelings of self-loathing and undesirability at the drop of a hat, made all the worse by their desire to pretend that all is perfect, leading them to act the most snobbish when they feel the most vulnerable. 

So they might continue to escape into soap-operas and celebrity gossip where everyone talks mechanically about feelings and the tiniest perceived slight is discussed as a matter of crucial importance and, especially if they’re inexperieced, actually try to live that sort of life.  

Their reliance on the opinions of others may cause them to overlook their own emotional intelligence and struggle with a kind of self-imposed caste system where they can only be with people of similar clothes & interest. 

Solutions: Rejoice in the thought that how we look isn’t really that important & that real beauty is on the inside. Allow yourself to be comfortable! 

Volunteering to help others may be beneficial - seeing how others survive might provide a sense of perspective. You should stop caring about ‘perfection’ how how you’re letting yourself down - check out creative pursuits but don’t turn them into a competition. Once you can accept ‘good enough’, get casual and stop bothering about physical and/or financial appearances, you will become internally free and then both you and others can enjoy your natural warmth and sensuousness. 

Mercury

Counterproductive Behaviors: ‘Deadly Drive’ - Not mining your own gold. This type may begin projects with promise but give up before taking the time needed to bring their efforts to fruition. They may not allot much time to their intimate relationships either, developing a nervous “well that’s just me” shrung when each attempt doesn’t pan out, without slowing down to accept that they could have behaved differently - Over the years the sum total of this behavior is the self-inflicted belief that “whatever I do, it’s not good enough.”.

Unhappiness: This type may be tempted to use their pepetual business as an escape from fear: What happens if they slow down? What thoughts of death and feelings of despair are they keeping at bay by never stopping?

So, they’ll still be on the lookout for new projects, gimmicks and opportunities, but they become misused as a mere distraction from the pile of half-finished projects they aready carry around, looking for “magic solutions” for their growing dissatisfaction - they thrive on the ‘initial energy’ of a project but are all too ready to slap on a generic rendition of the idea rather than invest time & commitment - and when they have to stop & take stock, because their latest endeavour has come adrift, they judge themselves hashly and fall easily into self-loathing over all the wasted potential. 

Solutions: Accept that you have the ability to change your course. Focus on quality, not just quantity. Learn to chill physically and mentally - you may be a moving type, but you are capable of adding thought to your actions.  Devote real portions of your life to grounded, well-conceived and properly executed projects or relationships. 

Try to find a balance between frenetic activity and ‘crashing’. Don’t believe that you have love “all figured out” if you drift by on superficial charme but actually have a cold, distant attitude towards your partners. Have a friend or college review your various enterpises & formulate a plan for dealing with each project or interest. 

Saturn

Counterproductive Behaviors: ‘Deadly Seriousness’ - instead of retaining some lightness and fun, they might smother the spark and insist on the driest of fact and behavior all the way to puitanism. This can lead to pedantic plodding, arguing tiny, inconsequential issues with missionary zeal. 

Unhappiness: Your basic “tortured artist” routine, embracing both creativity & darkness - They feel things intellectually and sight deeply as they pull their bodies through the day. Worth becomes both a touchstone and a burdenas everything needs to be questioned, evaluated and determined. They work in depht, in seclusion or isolation, driven by a passion for the subject, but become bitter at what they see as society’s inability to appreciate the fruits of their labor - and they may labor on tiny adjustments, such as a partiular word so that what they produce has a sense of agony about it. 

Because they seek worth & meaning in everything, they assume that everyone else does, too, examining careless coments for their ‘secret meanings’; A thoughtless act will cause them agony because they won’t stop to think if it was deliberate: They automatically assume it and do not qeustion it. 

This deep seriousness also leads them to ut themselves off from lightness and joy, so in the later stages of unhapiness, this can take on a somewhat self-destructive bent  - because there is unhappyness in the world, they cannot feel happy. Instead, they blame the world for not recognizing their worth and deliberately shut down their admirable sense of worth in favor of cynical, world-weary disbelief in anything positive.

Solutions: Indulge without guilt. Explore lightness and frivolity. Recognize that not everything deserves the same seriousness.  Forgive others for what you perceive as their shortcommings, shallowness and ignorance. People are much more likely to take your advice if you cool it with the judgyness. 

Acknowledge that you cannot, all by yourself, bring the entire world up to greater consciousness - instead, re-awaken your own need for comfort and relief, which is also part of human nature. Study joy and the physical world, and integrate these concepts into your mental world - after all, you are admirably placed when it comes to learning new things, and not every conversation needs to be a tussle with conscience, morality, mortality and divine justice.

Mars

Counterproductive Behaviors: ‘Deadly Control’ - The Mars type’s forceful charm and bold initiative can deteriorate into a constant life-or-death ego struggle. Their naturally combative energy easily becomes an ugly, endless confrontation. When lost in deadly control, a dysfunctional Mars type would rather have their house burn down than be criticized for not having a smoke alarm. The cumulative toll of years of over-intense engagement may rob them of the golden years of retirement.

Unhappiness: In positive mode, this type is dynamic and draws peopl into their orbit, however, emotionally speaking, they experience their affect as being liable to change and may paranoically suspect others of doing the same. 

They’ll act confident, but ask “How am I doing?” as though they have a sense of putting energy out but needing external validation, surprising those around them. As a “doing” type, they have a need to constantly do something in order to shore up their self-opinion - although they might seem powerful, their inner vacillations and need for a fight wears on them, too - and then they try to make everything ‘wonderful’, like the businessman buying his neglected wife a fancy necklace, but when this doesn’t do the trick, they revert to agression - but are still hurting, even though they cannot show their vulnerability. 

If they cannot step outside their type’s limitations, they need the other side to draw the line - so they push people often intuitively hoping the other side will stand up for themselves - if they do, the Mars type will happily relax, enjoying a scenario in which they don’t always have to make the decision or the threat, but sometimes, they end up alienating family, friends an business associates - this is actually disturbing for the Mars type themselves, because they long for harmony and respect - So they’ll try to find a ‘magic solution’ or ‘holy grail’ all the while thinking that “This time, I will win” - unfortunately, the solution they’ll pick will be unrealistic and childish in the light of the divide their created, a bandaid on a bullethole, and when it doesn’t work, they may walk out to the street, wanting to fight someone or even everyone. 

Solutions: Learn to let go, and learn to consider the other. Strive for win-win solutions. Develop a taste for generosity & acceptance.

Allow yourself to be surrounded with accepting, generous love - even a constant warrior needs time to bathe & lick their wounds, as unthinkable as thi may seem when you are riding high. Be open to gestures of love when you least expect them. Learn to trust that you are okay instead of following the unconscious need to pit yoursel aganst others and life. A lot of Mars types often find fulfillment in becoming involved in charitable work or anything else that is visibly productive but non-competitive, where you can use your strenght for the greater good. 

Jupiter

Counterproductive Behaviors: ‘Deadly self-sacrifice.’ - An over-developed sense of guilt involving personal penance can leed to an ongoing personal creed of self-denial. (”Martyr Complex”) At some point you aren’ saving ressources, just burning yourself up and, eventually, out. Living in squalor while paying the bills for individuals who could do it themselves just fine is not ‘saint-like’, it’s called “being taken advantage of”, and the other party might well walk away one day without a word of thanks. 

Unhappiness: This type desperately wants to believe that things will be alright in the world - hence, they might be tempted to lie to themselves and others because the truth is too difficult, and cling to the convenient belied that there is a ‘saviour’ somewhere who will bring peace to themselves and the world. 

Perhaps overly impacted by the ills of the world, the Jupiter type may develop a mechanical “that’s terrible” response to everything rather than actually doing what they can to change and improve things - others see them as suffering for the universe whilst inside they may actually be feeling sorry for themselves. 

They may neglect their true needs and indulge themselves in uneccesary pain; They may take a perverse delight in breaking up with someone because they can use it as an opportnity to say that they don’t have any emotional needs: Everything is for ‘others’. Having denied their needs and dissapointed those who offered them love, they may take refuge in conventional religion or mystics and wait for ‘salvation’. 

Solutions: ‘God helps the ones who help themselves’. Don’t expect to be showered with supernatural gold for your self denial - helping others should begin from a platform of personal strenght and security. Establish yourself, and you will have more ability to help, not less. 

Instead of idly waiting for revelation and sanctification, you would gain more by accomplishing small, real tasks that suit your home-loving orientation - put the principles of the saints into effect, be the change you wish to see, without vainly believing that you yourself are ‘saintly’ or holding yourself to self-flaggelating, ‘saintly’ standards. Ask yourself what you can do and then simply do it. 

You will also be helped by drawing a line under the suffering and giving yourself over to lightness - You’ll find happiness nurturing yourself by doing the things you’d otherwise feel guilty doing. 

Hybrid Types

The hybrid types may face the weaknesses and temptations of one or both of their influences, as well as the additional problem that their disparate goals/ natures may pull them apart and throw them into conflict. However, they also have the advantages of both types to help them find their way out of it & many of them lead happy lives.