#the shadowsinger / az cs

[veritasumbra]

az keeps a secret from mor and everyone else. the true reason behind their abilities to sense each other, even through shadows/glamours, comes from the fact mor actually died in the autumn court woods (this is what prompted her true power awake) and he used magic to bring her back, unintentionally binding them together. a bond that has been solidified by their bargain tattoo.

this is one of the two main reasons az struggles to keep calm when it comes to eris. because he knows that eris not coming to mor’s aid that night caused her to actually die. the other reason is because he has a traumatic past with fire. and azriel is also an empath and, since that day he’s directly connected to mor’s emotions in a much deeper way than he is with anybody else, and so he knows exactly how eris’ presence makes her feel. az never told anyone. because if people were to know a lesser fae like him possess some ancient magic that allowed him to bring someone back from the dead, it would create some tension. his high lord could even be accused of having withheld this information from the other courts and this could compromise the few alliances the night court has managed to forge. az doesn't like to be under the spotlight either. he's a very private person. and the last thing he wants to do is for the whole of prythian to know how different/powerful he truly is because he's aware he could be targeted because of it, just like he was in his youth.

[veritasumbra]

❛ It’s hard to tell with [Azriel] — and he’d never tell me […] Cassian tries, I try — but i think the only person who ever gets him to admit to any sort of feeling is Mor. ❜ ACOMAF, chapter 29

all up to this point, feyre has already witnessed az and mor being hyperaware of one another’s feelings on multiple occasions, especially regarding to their respective backstories, which they both aren’t ready to tell feyre about. in chapter 16, they both come to other’s rescue when they feel like the conversation is slipping towards their own respective past. whilst cassian doesn’t notice az’s discomfort and heavy silence when he let it slip that az " couldn’t even fly thanks to— ", mor does notice and cuts in to remind cassian to " stay on track " but this is also a mean to indirectly signify that this tale is for az to tell feyre (whom he doesn’t even know at that point) when he’s ready.

[veritasumbra]

friendly reminder that az is often torn between his loyalty to rhys, who's not only his friend/brother but also his high lord, and his bond (queerplatonic one) with mor. working with eris behind mor's back brought him a lot of guilt as he knew the betrayal would wound her deeply. he tried to bring her comfort during the meeting and she rejected him. not only because he betrayed her (he was literally the last person she expected would do so! like, she gets it rhys is family but he’s also high lord he gotta make difficult choices and stuff, but az?? az is the person she shared her deepest secret/truth with and the last she expected would go behind her back like that) but also because she didn't want to appear weak in front of the enemy. she is still deeply affected by what happened that fateful day and it even caused her to have a flashback.