#the screaming whej Sexy Rat got stomped made me crack up

[18catsreading]

Fabian: hi

Rat: hi there

Fabian: how are you?

Rat: I'm okay. You gonna come here and step on me?

Fabian: no, actually, we wanted to know more about the steppers.

Rat: well, all right

Fabian: what can you tell us?

Rat: there's a bunch of people who come here and step in us, and they attack us with swords, and they shoot spells.

Fabian: okay, great. Hey, okay --

Emily/Fig: can I Minor illusion Lucy Frostblade? Ask the last time it saw this girl.

Fabian: okay, do you see this person? When's the last time you saw them?

Emily/Fig: I do like a nice photo shoot, like a prom queen photo shoot.

Brennan: I just hit a nat 20 on this rat's history check.

Lou: okay!

Ally: this rat was best friends with Lucy before she died!

Brennan: you see the rat looks and he says [as Rat]: aw jeepers, she was always really nice.

Fig: did she have tension with the other ones?

Rat: well, you know, we didn't like her at first because she used to come here and kill us all the time. But some time last year or something like that she started to bring us back from the dead after her friends left.

Fabian: oh

Siobhan/Adaine: oh, that's nice

Fabian: that's so sweet

Siobhan/Adaine: that is nice

Emily/Fig: oh my goodness

Fabian: wait, is there a place that they hung out in the woods, or particularly liked? Did you guys ever have a --

Kristen: what's their zone

Fabian: -- a lair, or their nest?

Rat: they sorta hung out all over, but there's a place where I go sometimes because it was the last place I -- uh, I'm not supposed to say nothin'.

Fabian: No, no, no

Kristen: hey that's okay.

Fabian: You can talk to us.

Gorgug: what's it saying, Fabian?

Fabian: it's having kind of an emotional moment.

Fig: I know how to handle this! I'll minor illusion a sexy rat

Fabian: no, come on! Come on, dude! Dude!

Ally/Kristen: I step on the sexy rat

Rat: Aaaahhhhh!

Fabian: sorry, no! We're not those guys

Brennan: aaahhh! Aaahhh!

Kristen: sorry, sorry, that was fake! That was fake! She was so sexy

Brennan: aaahhhh!

Fabian: you know that's triggering for me!

Kristen: can you get a little rat stuffed animal out of your coat?

Fabian: you know that's triggering for me!!

Adaine: oh yes, a little rat

Ally/Kristen: we get a little rat stuffed animal out of the coat. It's extra tiny and it can hold it while it's --

Rat: it's like a Mannequin, like they have in rat stores.

Fabian: I'm sorry? I'm sorry? Wait, hold on, what'd you just say?

Rat: what?

Adaine: you have rat stores?

Rat: what?

Fabian: what'd you say? Rat store?

Rat: there's not a rat world under the school.

Adaine: what

Rat: what

Gorgug: I don't know what he's saying

Fabian: he's talking about rat stores under the school.

Gorgug: got it

Fabian: where you can get rat mannequins

Riz: steer it back! Steer it back, Fabian! All we hear is squeaking, steer him back!

Fabian: I'm sorry it's just interesting you know? Did you guys know about rat world? Now we do!

Gorgug: just keep going!

Riz: where was Lucy Frostblade?

Fabian: all right, nobody else wanted to eat the fucking tongue or the organs

Adaine: you volunteered!

Riz: you volunteered so hard!

Fabian: it made it better!

Ally/Kristen: I'm petting the rat, I'm trying to keep it kinda calm.

Brennan's rat's sort of crying a little bit

Kristen: aw, it looks sad

Fabian: I know it would be hard for you, but it would mean a great deal to us - and that person - if you could show us that place.

Rat: all right. I could take you. It takes about two days to get there.

Adaine: we can carry you!

Fig: oh that's two days for you

Riz: two days Rat Time

Kristen: tell him we could carry him

Fabian: we can carry you

Rat: okay

Fabian: we move faster than the wind

Fig: do you wanna ride -- ask him if he wants to ride the skateboard

Fabian: do you want to ride in a skateboard? Do they have those in your rat world?

Rat: a skateboard?

Kristen: make the battle sheet into a Baby Björn for the rat

Fabian: okay. We're gonna wrap you up and put you on the skateboard

Rat: Lucy used to call me Spot

Fabian: Spot?

Spot: mmhmm

Fig: tell him that we are to help Lucy and so if he can help us we can help Lucy

Fabian: we're trying to help Lucy, so if you can help us --

Brennan: go ahead and give me persuasion with advantage

Ally: yess

Emily/Fig: do you want a bardic?

Lou/Fabian: yea, can I get one? D8?

Emily/Fig: yea

Murph/Riz: be so careful

Lou: okay I got a 19 plus 8 so that's 27 [goes to Rolla. D8]

Murph: maybe you don't need it

Ally: you don't need it, then, you don't need it.

Murph: you could save it, right?

Ally: it could kill the rat, honestly. Imagine the Rat getting bonked in the head by a a fucking skateboard wheel.

Lou/Fabian: it's my bardic, so I think I would be the one.

Zac/Gorgug: it's up to you

Fabian: I mean, what do you guys ...? Eh. *Rolls the dice* 3! 30

Brennan: you see Spot goes [as Spot]: yea, absolutely! You can come with me right now. I'll show you where it is.

Fabian: fantastic