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guangchuans · 1 year ago

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hey adam what did you think of the metamorph concert? oh funny you should ask! here :3

hi guys. i’ll pretend i know staging directing and anything more about music than “i like sounds” here 👍

first, critique:

the concert felt and was rather short. i understand why, but it was still sad to had it end so soon lol

my personal opinion here: i wish we got more older songs other than the iconic ones, but again, this is the guilty album concert, so i understand

he really did not do well on “not over you” and i’m glad he acknowledged it too, not just moving past a subpar performance

“want” also wasn’t the nicest imo? he sang that weirdly low, or at least that’s what i heard

maybe again, just my audio, but it really didn’t sound as if he actually Sung “advice” lol

this one i’ve said before but honestly, even taemin can’t do “move” now - the dance i mean. maybe it was the clothing here though bc on the show with akmu it was great. but yeah the red cloth outfit didn’t pair well with “move” imo and made the key hip movement look messy

this is not about taemin; the beyond live style of concert kind of deprived us of actual cinematography of it :/ like tell me why strings and black rose looked so much better on random fancams from 7 rows behind than… on the actual screen lol

general commentary:

he was so nervous. really. like i get why, again, i understand it all, and even that didn’t stop him from delivering some absolutely delicious stages, but ohhh brother he was nervous

why was the audience so. dead. like why did you hype up my man when he did good huh. i have to do everything in this house myself next time i’ll be the hype man nr 1

this is my lukewarm take: i didn’t enjoy the “criminal” rock version that much. it was very boring? the chord progression of the guitar sounded too much like a sample without much twist, and there were better ways to incorporate rock into that song imo

i think overall the ratio of lip sync to backing track to no backing track was reasonable and i do like that he didn’t try to lip sync much, just letting everyone see “yeah this is playback”

and now <3 praise and what i enjoyed <3

even though i really don’t like “the rizzness”, that opening was fucking insane. imagine starting a concert while hanging upside down. and singing while it. wow!

all the ment segments were so precious. it was clear he missed the audience for his solo stuff too. i know he’s been touring with shinee for half a year now and all but i imagine it’s different to know that these people came here only for you, you know? the interactions were cute and it was just… well it’s good to see the both sides of lee taemin :)

as i mentioned, the ratio of supported vocals to raw vocals was reasonable, but when he did actually sing… oh lee taemin. this is obviously a biased opinion because i genuinely love his voice, it was what made me fall in love with him as an artist in the first place. notable mentions of vocals imo:

“heaven” was perfectly delivered and a feast as always. the bridge in “heaven” is probably my top 5 taemin bridges, so it’s not surprising, but the energy on the stage while he performs that is So Good. MWAH

“light” was fun! i was dancing along, the playing with the dancers choreo is entertaining to watch and it’s a good time over all

after the flop of “not over you” he payed back with both “night away” and “blue” to me. “night away” especially, it felt so warm and so… just lovely. he nailed that

even though i don’t particularly enjoy “black rose” i can’t deny, it was so good. the choreo is always captivating and he sung it well

“door” … where do i even start. “door” is one of my favourite taemin songs of all time, and to see it executed in such a bold way was absolutely incredible and so enthralling, i felt enchanted listening to each new note and line. genuinely an amazing experience

some miscellaneous thoughts that i don’t know where to place:

i loved “impressionable,” the energy was so right for it, especially, well the D2 unzipped pants :)

the “strings” choreo is so sensual and sexy and yet in this classic taemin style of subtlety about it, it’s so nice to watch, to see him get lost in the pain/pleasure the song talks about. and there is almost, a grown aspect to it now, the aspect of like fully owning his body and what he does with it. very nice

“she loves me she loves me not” was cute, the choreography was very simple but still nice to look at, and i loved the energy on stage of it. the girl gang TM smiling and all :) good time!

rearrangements/special concert versions of songs:

as i mentioned above, i have lukewarm feelings about “criminal,” i didn’t dislike it, but it could have been better

LOVED the whole “danger” stage so much as well as “famous,” to me they’re like two sides of the same coin tbh. and something about both of them being in the same section as want mmm…

i wish i didn’t have to talk about “guilty” but i think i have to mention “guilty” too. the staging was absolutely gorgeous, the orchestral pieces at the beginning and before the bridge, the change in choreo of the dancers as if ensnaring him… it was delicious! such a good stage!

a separate section for the encore because i feel like it deserves it:

i don’t think it’s too untoward to think of jonghyun’s passing when it came to the date of the concert. i saw a few other mentions of it too, so i know i’m not alone in this belief. and this is not to suggest it was somehow planned this way with this date in mind, but rather, soemthing to just keep in the back of your head, i guess?

the whole encore was magical. opening the concert back up with “idea”, the orchestral version nonetheless, and staging that mixed both the hell and heaven aspects of the concept (light blue iridescent suit + dark stage lighting and fire) was delicious to witness and a great way to get the energy in the audience back up again

i don’t think i can talk much about what “pansy” means to me as a song without crying. maybe it’s stupid, because that’s exactly what the song was meant to do, but the fact that taemin co-wrote it too just… makes it so special :( and to know what… the sentiment of the song is probably even doubled now, to know that he came back from the enlistment, because so many fans kept loving him and his music and we stayed by his side even when he wasn’t there. this is just me being sappy i know but to hear “pansy” again made my heart sing

“i think it’s love” is a beautiful song and he sung it beautifully. it was a great encore choice, just an overall masterpiece

finishing the concert with “identity” of all his songs, on a concert named metamorph after the idea of metamorphosis, the imagery of cocoons and blooming and growth seen throughout the concert, with, once again, the significance of the date… it meant so much. it means so much. it was genuinely a moving performance, one that hooks you in and keeps you there, not letting you go. the emotion the execution the meaning behind it all… it just felt right, for that song to close the concert

CLOSING THOUGHTS

i’ve seen every taemin concert, save for the beyond live one in 2021, and this one fits into the theme beautifully. it’s a comeback, it’s a reminder that he’s still here, that he is Back, and he is back for good! as he said in one fan sign, this will go on for as long as he wants to and he will be the one to put the stop to it. i’m grateful for everything taemin did musically this year and i can’t wait to see him grow even more, as an artist and as a person. love you! if anyone read this whole thing leave me an 🍎 emoji in the replies hah <3

#txt #note: this is nearly 1.5k words long so proceed with caution lmao

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spencersstrawberryjello · 4 years ago

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Treat People With Kindness (The BAU)

Summary: Garcia gets Reid into Harry Styles and everyone subsequently loses their minds over it.

Content: Honestly just funny I’m not sure what to call it

MC’s name/pronouns: No alternate main character, just Spencer.

Word Count: 1706

A/N: This whole fic was inspired by the fact that a fan gave Matthew Gray Gubler a Treat People With Kindness pin, which then sparked my friend Emily and I to theorize that Spencer Reid would absolutely be a Harry Styles stan. So yeah, this is literally just the product of one fan interaction lmao

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“I got a good feelin’.”

“... What’s he doing?” Emily leaned over and whispered to JJ, who just shook her head.

“I’m just takin’ it all in.”

“Ok, what happened to Reid?” Morgan joined them, and they both shrugged, watching Spencer walk through the doors of the office.

“Floatin’ up and dreamin’.”

“You know, maybe I need to add him to my drug test list too.” Hotch had stepped out of his office, trying to hide his grin as they saw Spencer making his way to his desk, headphones in and practically dancing over to his seat, mouthing every word of the song he was listening to. He plopped down in it with a little spin, opening a file on his desk without ever taking his headphones out.

“Try ‘Dancing with the Stars,’” Emily laughed, and JJ broke away from their group, heading over to his desk.

“Hey Spence,” She rested her arms on the divide between his desk and Emily’s, tapping on it to get his attention.

“Maybe we can find a place to feel good.”

“Spence!” She tapped his arm this time, and he practically jumped out of his skin, turning to face her.

“And we can treat -”

He quickly tore the headphones out of his ears, setting them down on his desk and looking up at her, clearing his throat.

“Sorry. I was listening to something.” He gestured to the headphones still connected to his phone, as if that wasn’t already obvious.

“Yeah, I noticed,” JJ laughed.

“Do we have a case?”

“Nothing yet, you’re good.” She tried fruitlessly to hide her grin, and he gave her a strange look.

“Ok…”

“So,” She plopped down in Emily’s chair, rolling it over to sit near him, “What were you listening to?”

“Oh!” His face lit up, and he grabbed his phone, holding it out for her to see. She put the headphones in her ears, hearing the final moments of the song he’d been jamming to.

“And we can treat people with kindness, find a place to feel good.”

“Harry Styles?” JJ laughed incredulously, handing him back his phone.

“You’ve heard of him?” He asked, taking the phone and sitting it back on his desk and turning back to her.

“I’m pretty sure most people have heard of him, Spence.”

“Ok, well, I hadn’t. But on Saturday I was speaking at the University of Mary Washington with Rossi, and one of the girls gave me this, after the lecture,” He grabbed his bag off the back of the chair, pointing to a round pin clipped on the strap. It was enamel, with light pink on the inside and a red rose in the center, encircled by the phrase “Treat People With Kindness” in black lettering. “And you know, naturally I thought it was a good message so I put it on my bag and I thought that was all it was. But then I ran into Garcia.”

“Oh god.”

“I was walking in yesterday and she saw it and kind of freaked out a little bit, and pulled me into her office and played me the song - the one you just listened to - and it was amazing and so I told her I thought it was amazing, which made her freak out even more and then you called with a case so I left, only to receive a a YouTube playlist a few hours later that she told me I had to watch every video on or she’d stop printing the case files for me.”

“You know she loves you too much to actually do that, right?”

“I mean, the odds were low, but I wasn’t going to risk it. Either way, I sort of listened to every single song on Fine Line and Self-Titled in one night and also a whole bunch of interviews that she sent me and he’s really funny and his music is great and the moral of the story is I kind of love him.”

JJ sent back in her chair, dumbfounded. “Dude… you mean to tell me Garcia made you a Harry Styles fan?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“I - Penelope!” JJ left without another word, making her way into Garcia’s office. Spencer just shrugged, returning to the file he was looking at - and his music - as Garcia spun to face JJ.

“Jennifer, my love, to what do I owe the pleasure? New case?” She asked. JJ just shook her head.

“You broke Reid.”

“I did not break Reid!” She defended with a grin. “I merely helped him reach his true form.”

“He willingly used technology, and he came into the office today practically dancing to Treat People With Kindness. So yes, you did break Reid.”

“JJ, dear,” Garcia got up from her chair, taking JJ’s hands in the doorway, “Do you remember when Reid got that adorable little shaggy haircut?”

“Despite the fact that he changes his hair like every month, yes, I do.”

“And do you remember what Hotch said?”

She thought for a moment, then her eyes widened in shock. “You did all of this… because of the boyband joke?”

“Like I said: true form.” Garcia returned to her chair, spinning around with a laugh. “In my defense, I didn’t know he was going to get a Harry Styles pin. I just took advantage of the opportunity when it presented itself. I already failed at teaching him to worship Lady Gaga, I could not miss another chance to try and pull him out of the dark ages.”

“You are ridiculous, you know that?”

“That’s why you love me!”

JJ laughed, leaving Garcia’s office and heading up to hers, ruffling Spencer’s hair on her way by.

“You should grow your hair out again.”

“You think so?” He reached up and fussed with his hair, just as Garcia emerged into the main room.

“Spencer Reid, my beautiful boy genius, did you do what I asked?”

“Garcia, I figured out how to download music to my phone because of you. So yes, I did what you asked.”

“You are officially my new favorite person.”

“Hang on, what is this all about?” Emily asked. Garcia grinned, hardly able to contain her excitement.

“I’m finally bringing the lovely Dr. Reid here into the 21st Century.”

“Penelope,” Emily raised an eyebrow at her, “What did you do?”

“Garcia thinks she did something revolutionary by getting me into Harry Styles’ music,” Spencer clarified. Emily immediately clapped her hand over her mouth, about to respond before Derek piped up from his desk.

“Oh, she converted you too?”

“‘Too’ - you mean to tell me that you, Derek Morgan, are a Harry Styles fan?” Emily was looking between the three of them now, practically in shock. Derek just laughed, holding up his hands.

“What can I say, the guy’s got an incredible voice.”

“And the make up of his songs is so interesting as well; I mean, when you look at the music he’s produced in the last few years in comparison to what he performed while he was a part of One Direction -”

“Oh my god please tell me you’ve also listened to One Direction,” Emily said, laughing when Spencer nodded.

“I don’t understand why you guys are making such a big deal out of this. He’s a singer, it’s not like he doesn’t have fans,” He defended.

“Reid, two months ago you didn’t even know who Lady Gaga was. This is kind of a big deal.”

“Conference room in five,” JJ walked through the group, heading upstairs as everyone else got up to follow her.

“Do not think I am dropping this,” Emily pointed at Derek and Spencer before jogging to catch up with JJ. Derek laughed, falling in step with Reid.

“So, what all did Garcia make you watch?”

“Oh, just a bunch of interviews. I did some of my own reading though -”

“Of course you did.”

“- and what I found really interesting was One Direction’s actual rise to fame. Because the thing is, they didn’t even win X-Factor. They came in third, and yet they became the most famous group to come from that season of the show. In Forever Young - their book - they talked about their time on X-Factor, but it was so strange to me because their first album - Up All Night, that came out not even a full year after they finished the X-Factor live tour - sold 4.5 million copies within the first year. And they just kept growing… Morgan why are you laughing?”

“I’m sorry,” They’d walked into the conference room by now, sitting down next to each other at the table while Derek tried to stop himself from laughing, looking at Reid in disbelief, “You read their book?”

“And their Wikipedia page - I told you I did my own reading!”

“You said you did some of your own reading, you didn’t say you’d memorized everything about their career!”

“Eidetic memory, remember?” He tapped his forehead, and Derek rolled his eyes.

“You never let me forget. I’m assuming you know everything about their solo careers as well?”

“Well I got into Harry’s stuff first, but I ended up reading all of theirs since I didn’t have anything else to do last night. It’s just so interesting to think about what One Direction’s situation reveals about human nature and celebrity culture. I mean, a lot of their fans are dictionary definition erotomaniacs, and yet -”

“I shouldn’t even be surprised that you read this all in one night.”

“Like I said: didn’t have anything else to do.”

“As much as I’m glad you boys are bonding, we have more important things to worry about than Reid’s newfound love for a British boy band,” JJ interrupted.

“Niall Horan’s actually Irish -”

“Spence. The case.” She pulled up the photos on the screen, and Spencer nodded, opening the case file in front of him as JJ began to review everything they needed to know. She finally closed out, and Hotch grabbed his tablet and rose from the table.

“Alright, wheels up in thirty.”

Everyone nodded, gathering up their things and vacating the room. Spencer and Derek trailed out after everyone, Spencer picking up the conversation as soon as JJ finished.

“You know, I’m considering learning how to knit - there’s this cardigan that Harry wore...”

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #bau #bau headcanon #spencer reid headcanon #criminal minds headcanon #bau fanfiction #fanfiction #reid #dr reid #dr spencer reid #writing #harry styles #treat people with kindness #hs #styles

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jazzicology · 3 years ago

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JAZZPRING!

This will seem topsy-turvy to those of you in the Northern hemisphere - but in New Zealand, Spring is just around the corner. And here at Jazzicology headquarters in Queenstown, we’re busy preparing for our Spring jazz gigs. Putting together a set on a specific theme is a great incentive to search for and learn new material. Here’s our ‘Jazzpring’ setlist with some notes on each. We’ve aimed for a mix of tempos and contrasting jazz styles. In amongst some old standards are some quirky additions: possibly the only song written from the perspective of a frightened tomato (Hang on Little Tomato); and a wonderful number that perfectly sets Shakespeare’s ‘It was a lover and his lass’ to a catchy melody and jazz chords – it deserves to be in everyone’s Spring set list. I was amazed how many jazz songs there are on topics relating to Spring – far too many to include in just one gig!

Joyspring. 1954 composition by Clifford Brown, jazz trumpeter and a key figure in the Hard Bop movement. The lyrics I use are by Jezra Kay. This is a super-fast-paced, up-beat tune. I discovered, rather too late for this gig, that there are also some wonderfully poetic lyrics by Jon Hendricks, a leading jazz lyricist who is responsible for the lyrics for many well-known jazz songs composed as instrumentals. You can read about Hendrick’s lyrics for JoySpring here.

You must believe in Spring. Composed by Michel LeGrand (1964), this song shares some features with his other, better-known compositions (Windmills of Your Mind; What Are You Doing For The Rest of Your Life). The chords and melody strike a reflective and melancholy, yet hopeful, mood. It is a truly beautiful number that I had not previously been aware of. I have been listening to Bill Evans’s instrumental version of it – it just incredible - and this vocal performance by Sarah McKenzie. It was originally called La Chanson de Maxence and was written for the French film ‘Les Demoiselles de Rochefort’. Looking at the original French lyrics, it is clear the English lyrics are not a translation; the song’s theme of Spring is entirely attributable to the authors of the English language lyricists Bergman and Bergman. Indeed, these lyrics are so well crafted that it is difficult to believe the phrase ‘You Must Believe in Spring’ wasn’t originally in Le Grand’s mind when he wrote it! Listening to various vocal recordings over the last few weeks, I discovered some additional lyrics that, as far as I can tell, appear only in a recording by Barbra Streisand. I don’t know who wrote them (possibly Streisand), but they seem apt for a troubled world, so here they are for other singers who may be interested in using them:

When angry voices drown the music of the spheres

And children face a world that’s far beyond their years

Above the darkest skies, The far horizons lie

With all the reasons why you must believe in Spring.

Spring can really hang you up the most. Composer Tommy Wolf (1955), lyrics Fran Landesman. Spring isn’t all rainbows and daffodils – like all fun times of year, for those who are down or lonely it can serve to underline your own misery. The title of the song is a jazz twist on the opening line of T.S. Eliot's The Waste Land: "April is the cruellest month". My favourite version of this song is by Carmen McCrae – it’s like a masterclass in jazz vocals. I was surprised how difficult this song was to learn – and was relieved to find an entire blog written about it, claiming that the obscene number of verses and lyrics, and wide vocal range and unusual phrasings are clearly the work of someone who hates singers! Fortunately, I love a challenge.

Blue Skies. Irving Berlin (1926). Blue Skies is probably the best-known and certainly the oldest song in this set. Thelonious Monk wrote a Be-Bop number, ‘Suddenly in Walked Bud’, based on the chord progressions in Blue Skies, as a tribute to his friend, the jazz pianist, Bud Powell. The lyrics are a virtual who’s-who list of jazz greats from that time. Monk’s ‘In Walked Bud’ is an example of a jazz ‘contrafact’: where a new melody is laid over existing chords (in this case, Blue Skies). There are lots of examples of this in Bop from the 1940s, because it was a way for jazz musicians to create new pieces “for performance and recording on which they could immediately improvise, without having to seek permission or pay publisher fees for copyrighted materials (while melodies can be copyrighted, the underlying harmonic structure cannot be)”. Since the lyrics and melody for ‘In Walked Bud’ work perfectly well over the chords for ‘Blue Skies’ (apart from the bridge) I’ll incorporate elements of them into our performance.

It might as well be Spring. Composed by Rodgers and Hammerstein (1945) for the movie State Fair, for which it won an Academy Award for best original song. Many people have recorded this, but I’ve been listening to Ella Fitzerald and this lovely French version by (the aptly Spring-named) Blossom Dearie.

They say its Spring. Composers Bob Haymes and Marty Clark (1950s). With a melody and lyrics that are as light and floaty as a feather, this is a quintessential Spring song about being in love. Blossom Dearie appears to have been the first to record it, in 1957.

Nature Boy/Nardis. Composed by Eden Ahbez (1947). Nature boy is on Jazzicology’s set list – but with a twist! We will perform it using the principal motif from Miles Davis’ Nardis in both the Intro and coda. This was an idea developed by me and UK jazz pianist Sid Thomas, and you can listen to Sid and I performing it here. The ‘back story’ to Nature Boy is pretty interesting in its own right and can be found in a previous Jazzicology blog penned by Sid, ‘The one hit wonders of jazz’.

I love Paris in the Springtime. Cole Porter (1954). A classic recording of this by Ella Fitzgerald. However, I very much like this version, which has a Parisian café feel. This is a relatively simple melody to learn, with the chief challenge for the vocalist being the wide vocal range needed to change register.

Timeless Place. Composed by Jimmy Rowles in the 1970s as an instrumental (‘The Peacocks’) and recorded by him and sax legend Stan Getz in the 1975 album of the same name. The wonderful, reflective lyrics were added much later by UK jazz vocalist, Norma Winstone, and included on her 1993 album Well Kept Secret. This song is technically very challenging for a vocalist: the melody over the ‘bridge’ is a little non-intuitive and sits outside the harmony – it creates a tension which resolves into the main refrain. The word Spring appears nowhere in the song, but I’m going to justify its inclusion here because the lyrics include a beautiful formal garden with flowers and trees.

Double Rainbow. Composed by Brazilian jazz maestro, Antonio Jobim in 1970. This is one of his lesser-known numbers. It perfectly captures a spring garden, after a sudden rain-shower, with rainbows, puddles and a little robin hopping about. Actually, because the song is written in Portugese, the little bird in the song is a chico-chico, so robin is used as the equivalent in the English translation (maybe I should use a bellbird instead?). In Portugese, the title is Chovendo na Roseira (the rain is falling on the roses) and I perform it using first the Portugese and then the English lyrics – both are lovely, and the different languages each lend a slightly different feel to song.

Hang on Little Tomato. Music and lyrics by Patrick Abbey, China Forbes and Thomas Lauderdale and released on the Pink Martini album of the same name in 2004. For those who have gotten their tomato seedlings off to an early start, this the song you need to sing to them when they get planted outside. It’s a scary world out there for a little tomato. It’s a seriously cute little song, and a reminder that we all need to keep hanging on to the vine. The song title is apparently a reference to a Hunt's Ketchup ad campaign "Hang On, Little Tomato!" in a 1964 issue of Life magazine. (Is it a coincidence that Pink Martini’s named their own record label Heinz, I wonder?)

Hey Nonny No! Composed by UK jazz composer and pianist Sid Thomas, this up-beat, toe-tappin’ number captures the feel of Spring brilliantly and the melody and chords provide a fabulous setting for Shakespeare’s ‘It was a lover and his lass’ from As you Like it. You’ll be humming this one on the way home.

Seed Leaves. Another Sid Thomas composition, this one setting to music the poem ‘Seed Leaves’ by Poet Laureate and two times Pulitzer Prize winner Richard Wilbur. You can find the poem here. Anyone wishing to request the music for ‘Hey Nonny No’ or ‘Seed Leaves’ can contact Sid Thomas here.

Surrey with the Fringe on top. Rogers and Hammerstein, from Oklahoma (1946). Is it a little bit twee? Maybe, but hey – it is also very sweet. And it was a part of Miles Davis’ repertoire in the 1950s, so there’s no arguing with that!

Up Jumped Spring. Composed by US jazz trumpet player Freddie Hubbard in 1962, and included in his album Backlash. The lyrics were added later by vocalist US jazz vocalist Abbey Lincoln. This clip of the song being sung live by Audrey Silver is really worth listening to - what a confident, flawless performance.

So, there you have it: an eclectic Spring jazz set involving Shakespeare, tomatoes, rainbows, birds, toads, seedlings, melting snow, new love and a little sprinkling of melancholy. The lyrics in this set contain the words ‘isinglass’ and ‘yggdrasil’ – not words you hear every day – come to our gig on September 5th (assuming Queenstown is out of lockdown by then!) and see if you can spot them!

Other suggestions for Spring songs can be found here:

https://jazz.fm/classic-jazz-songs-about-spring/

https://www.wrti.org/post/10-jazz-tunes-remind-you-its-spring

Nance Wilson

Nance Wilson is one half of Queenstown-based jazz duo, Jazzicology, together with pianist Mark Rendall-Wilson.

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/nance-wilson-trio

Facebook: Jazzicology

#jazzmusic #jazz vocals

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padfootagain · 5 years ago

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Girl Crush (XV)

Chapter 15 : A Time for Christmas Roses

Here we go with a new chapter!! Lots of cuteness!!! London in winter will settle for the next few chapters! Next update in 48 hours, as I've finished the next couple of chapters too!

I hope you like this new part, please, tell me what you think!

Word Count: 5326

Spending New Year's Eve in London ought to be a dream.

If you had imagined only a few months before that you would travel to Europe for the holidays, you would have shaken your head at yourself and your crazy imagination.

And yet there you were, incredibly jetlagged, pulling your suitcase behind you as you walked out of your terminal in Heathrow Airport, looking for your friend across the estranged faces that filled the cold halls.

The little crowd that had gathered in the centre of the building did give you a hint of where Harry was though. You had told him that it wasn't a good idea for him to come and pick you up. But as usual, he didn't listen. It was kind of him to come, of course. Still, it was pretty stupid considering how famous he was.

It seemed to be a rather calm crowd though, and when you spotted Harry in the middle of the group, he seemed relaxed enough, taking pictures with everyone who had gathered around him. You headed for the exit and sent him a text to tell him you were waiting for him outside.

It was terribly cold in London, and you missed the Californian sun already as you stepped outside of the airport and under a grey sky. People were hurrying to and fro in a busy waltz, dragging their luggage behind them, but you settled a few meters away from the door in a quieter corner, leaning against a wall. You watched the cars passing by and strangers rushing in and out, wondering where they were coming from and where they were going. What exotic destination would they go to? Where they coming to London to see a friend, family, a lover, or was London an exotic destination to them as well?

"Sorry about that."

Harry's deep voice tore you away from your thoughts, and you didn't miss a second to lean in his open arms to hug him close.

"Oh, I've missed you so much," he breathed into your hair.

He breathed in the smell of your shampoo, the fragrance making him feel light-headed. It was almost painful to have you back when he had missed you so much. A good kind of pain. The ache that made a heart beat a little faster as one's longing is over. The stinging sensation that settles in to replace what had been wanted.

"I've missed you too," you answered, burying your face a little deeper against his shoulder. "It's so good to see you."

He tightened his hold on you before letting go.

"I'm parked close, let's go."

He took your suitcase and guided you across the parking lot to his car, his warm breath creating strange shapes into the cold air.

"God, it's so cold," you squealed as you climbed on the passenger's seat.

"It's winter, what did you expect?" Harry laughed at you, turning on the engines.

"Thanks again for inviting me over, this is amazing! I couldn't stay long enough to really visit anything when I came for your first show, so I'm glad I have a second chance to discover London."

"I'm sure you have an entire list of places where you want to go…"

"Of course!"

You grinned, reaching in the pocket on the inside of your warm coat for a little piece of paper where you had written the name of all the places you wanted to visit during the week.

Harry couldn't help but laugh, but his eyes and smile were tender, filled with fondness. Because it was just so you… and you were too adorable for his heart to handle.

"I also count on your expertise, obviously," you went on, ignoring his laughter. "Maybe you can show me around a few places?"

He frowned.

"Well, we'll be together for two weeks, I don't think you've really got a choice in terms of who's going to be your guide around London…"

"I… I don't know… don't you have things to do while I'm here?"

"No, I've cleared my schedule because you were coming."

"Oh…"

"Are you… disappointed that I'll be around?"

You rolled your eyes.

"Don't be silly. I've just travelled across the globe just to see you, remember? I just thought that you would be busy. But I'm glad you aren't. I'm gonna drag you to all the tourists' favourite spots!"

"I didn't expect anything less coming from you."

You seemed to think for a moment, which was always a moment to be dreaded, for all your craziest and cutest ideas emerged from these reflective times.

"What's going in there? I can see the smoke coming out of your ears," Harry commented, stopping at a red light.

"Will it be okay for you to come with me to all these places? I mean… people recognized you at the airport."

His hold on the steering wheel tightened, but his voice was calm when he replied.

"It's winter: coats, hats, scarves… I should be alright. But if you're worried it'll be a problem, you can go on your own, it's okay."

But you shook your head.

"If you're okay with taking the risk, then so am I. And you're right, even I could barely recognize you with that gigantic scarf of yours," you added, pointing at Harry's brown knitted scarf.

He exploded with laughter, and relaxed.

"I'm more than ready to take the risk. I've missed spending time with you."

"I've missed you too."

"I'll come back to L.A. for a while after the holidays."

"Really?" you asked, excited.

"Yeah… I have some time off in the tour, much needed time off. So… would like to try to escape the cold of London in winter."

"I'm sure you would!" you playfully laughed at him. "Well, I won't complain. L.A isn't the same without my best friend."

If your words still made him smile, there was also a string being bitterly pulled at his heart.

Best friend… no need to remind him of that.

"How is work, by the way?"

"Everything's fine. I got a raise before Christmas!"

"Wow! Congrats! Mary really can't do anything without you anymore, huh?"

You became a little shy, but wore a proud smile on your lips still.

"Well, I'm good at my job, apparently."

"You are amazing at your job, Y/N."

You wanted to nudge him playfully and tell him to shut up, but his voice sounded too earnest for you to react this way. You lowered your gaze to your shoes instead and let out a shy thank you.

"What about Gareth?" Harry asked in a casual tone, resting his elbow at the base of the window to hold the wheel.

"He's fine. He's spending the holidays with his family, so he couldn't come, but thank you for inviting him too, it means a lot to me."

I know it does. I wouldn't have done so otherwise.

"You'll have him again soon."

You shrugged.

"It's okay. It's just for a couple of weeks. Oh, which reminds me, he asked me to text him after I landed.""

"Everything's fine between you two?" Harry wondered while you texted your boyfriend, letting him know that you were in safe hands and that all had gone well.

"Yeah… it's going fine. Nothing new. He gave me a nice book about plants for Christmas… that I had already, but it was kind," you laughed fondly.

"I'm glad you've found someone nice. Someone who treats you right," Harry earnestly said. "And for his defence… you have almost all possible books that one can find about plants so…"

"I know, it was cute. But what about you?"

"Me and Gareth? We're over the moon together."

"Not you and Gareth, you silly!" you joined his laughter. "I mean, do you have someone these days?"

But Harry shook his head.

"Nope. No one."

"No one serious or no one no one?"

"Uhm… no one… no one… What…?"

"I don't know, I mean… you never talk to me about this stuff."

"Because there is nothing to say?"

"I mean… Sandra tells me about her one-night stands all the time, Jasmine tells me everything about her and her boyfriend. So… I hope you don't avoid telling me things because you feel like you can't. Cause you can. I mean… you get it, right?"

He chuckled.

"I don't have any one-night stands to talk about either."

"No?"

He shook his head.

"Nothing since…"

He frowned hard, going through memories. But then, his expression changed from focused to surprised.

"Since… before my album came out. Wow… perhaps I should work on a one-night stand after all… that… that is a long time without sex…"

"Just a few months," you rolled your eyes.

"Almost a year."

"Almost a year?"

"Almost ten months," he nodded.

"Maybe you should try to find a one-night stand," you admitted with a teasing smile.

"Good resolutions for the new year: getting laid," he joked, making you laugh as well.

It wasn't that late in London, barely the beginning of the evening, and yet by the time you needed to drive from the airport to Harry's house the sun had set, turning the clouds from grey to a deep shade of brown, almost black. The yellowish light of the lampposts helped the moon to light the world. But London was a busy city, and even with the low light and the cold, the streets were filled with strangers walking around. Despite the early time in the evening, your journey had greatly tired you, and you asked Harry to stay in for the first night. He didn't protest, it meant getting some quality time with you after all.

You were surprised though when you entered Harry's home when you found no Christmas decorations whatsoever.

Yes, it was the 27th, and Christmas was theoretically over, but you reckoned that Christmas time ought to last at least until the second week of January, or else it wasn't worth it.

What about the aftermath? Eating all the chocolate you got for Christmas? All the extra cookies? Keeping the lights on for New Year's Eve?

The most surprising fact was that there was a tree in his living room, it was simply…bare.

"You've already put all your decorations away?" you asked, taking in your surroundings, not being surprised to find the place looking exactly like Harry's personality.

A little old and a little new. Soft and warm and full of chairs and couches to gather a lot of people at once. Tasteful and personal, the kind of home that made you feel like it could become yours if he agreed to let you stay for a little longer than a few hours. The plants you had helped him nurture were thriving.

You loved the place already…

"Huh… no, I didn't put them on actually," Harry answered, taking his warm coat off and pushing your suitcase down the hallway and towards the stairs. "I was at my mom's for Christmas, and didn't have time to decorate before leaving."

"But you have a tree!"

"I just had time to pick it up, and then something came up, and I didn't decorate it."

You pouted, seeming a little disappointed.

Harry heaved a sigh as he knew perfectly what that meant…

"Do you want us to decorate it tonight?"

You gave him a grin and nodded enthusiastically.

"Even if Christmas is over?" he asked, but you shrugged his remark away.

"I haven't given you your present, yet."

"You got me a present?"

"Of course!"

"Good, because I got you one too."

Your grin only widened, burning through the room.

"I can't wait to see what it is."

"Alright, what about I get your suitcase upstairs and get the decorations while you make us some hot cocoa, huh? Feel free to open all the drawers in the kitchen, my home is yours. I also bought the cookies you like, they're next to the sink."

You got to work, humming to the Christmas song stuck in your head while Harry fumbled through boxes he had put away upstairs and the warm scent of sugar and chocolate filled the entire house.

When he finally walked back downstairs with a box filled with decorations and he saw you standing there, humming in his kitchen in your warm woollen pullover, your pair of old jeans and your colourful socks, busy making the most comforting drink in the world, he couldn't help but feel like this was right. You, there, in his kitchen, relaxed and happy and making cocoa… that was how things were meant to be. It felt so right. It felt so real.

His throat tightened and jaw clenched, his hold tightening around the box.

He wished that it could be meant to be, at least. A shame you didn't seem to feel this way too.

He shook himself, pushing these thoughts away, because for now you weren't with Gareth, you were with him, in his kitchen and he intended to enjoy every moment he could spend with you.

"Found them!" he told you as he entered the kitchen, right when you were pouring the hot beverage into two large mugs.

"Great! Let's take a look! Here you go, be careful, it's very hot."

You handed him his cocoa and he put the box on the kitchen table so you could inspect what it contained.

And you were far from impressed.

A few lights, but there were barely any garlands and other goodies…

Now, that wouldn't do.

"Okay, no. No, we can't decorate this grandiose tree with only these!" you admonished, shaking your head. "Is there a supermarket close?"

"Huh… yeah, down the street. Why?"

"We're gonna make some decorations."

"Make?"

"If we find a few cute things we can buy them too, but I reckon that as Christmas is technically over we're gonna have to do the hard work ourselves. Come on! Get your coat and your keys, and there we go!"

"But… the cocoa…"

"I'll make more when we come back, come on!"

You did take the time though to grab one of the cookies Harry had bought for you - chocolate chips, your favourite, as usual – and then dragged him out again.

At the store down the street, you filled Harry's arms with glitter, and paint, and glue, and an awful lot of paper and pencils and even more glitter. Your friend didn't really dare to question your actions, he had seen you in this kind of creative mood before, and was well aware that you were an unstoppable force then. You were way too stubborn, all he could do was nod and accept that his evening would be spent creating adorable Christmas decorations with you. And as the thought crossed his mind while you were both waiting to pay for your items, he didn't really want to complain about it after all. There was a dreamy smile on his lips, tender and happy, because when given a little bit of thought, making Christmas decoration with you was a lovely way to spend an evening.

That's how you soon found yourself sitting on Harry's white carpet, before his tall Christmas tree, surrounded with scissors, paper and pencils, your fingers covered in glue and glitter all over your face, laughing with Harry while Ella Fitzgerald sang Christmas Carols in the background.

"I think you're missing some pink glitter on your left cheek," you stated, disregarding the little paper star you were folding in yellow paper, examining Harry.

He had some silver glitter on the bridge of his nose, and a little bit of gold on his forehead, some blue and green on his chin and his cheeks adorned each a line of a bright orange glitter.

"Okay, go ahead," he accepted his fate with an amused smile and leaned forward to allow you to apply some pink glitter over his cheeks.

"Better!"

"You need more red."

"Red?"

"Yes, on your cheeks."

It was your turn to lean forward, presenting your face to him and closing your eyes, waiting for him to paint glittery shapes all over your skin. And as he applied some glitter on his finger and then onto the soft skin of your cheek, Harry couldn't manage to prevent his heart from beating too fast.

God… how he wanted to run his fingers across your cheek for hours…

Instead, it lasted less than a minute, but that was more than enough for him to blush and feel like his heart was ready to explode, and how was that humanly possible to get so many butterflies in one's stomach?

You got back to your tiny star with a smile on your face, singing along to the Christmas songs Harry had put on. It was a mess, the whole room was messy by now, but the tree looked more and more psychedelic, which was all Harry's home deserved.

But you had made a mess of his house already, when you had landed only a few hours before in London. And a comment that Gareth once made about you echoed in your mind once again as your eyes roamed the space around you.

I love that you're passionate about things, but sometimes you get carried away and you don't even realize it, and you kinda make a mess of things. You're… you're a bit childish sometimes.

As you took a look around the room, at all the pieces of paper and the glue, and all the mess, and even Harry's face covered with glitter, and some shiny pieces stuck in his brown curls too… you had to admit that Gareth was right. You did make a mess of things sometimes, even if you had the best of intentions, the result was the same.

Harry was inviting you to his house for the holidays, and you had decided to decorate his home for Christmas, dragged him to a shop to buy some stuff he would never use again, and then moved on to make a mess of his living room to make some childish Christmas decorations.

Gareth was right. Maybe sometimes you forgot that you had to stop behaving like that… you were too old for these things, too old for making your own Christmas decorations, too old for spending your rainy afternoons in pyjamas…

"You're alright, Y/N?"

Harry's deep voice shook you out of your own head.

"Hmm… Yeah, yeah… all good."

"You don't look like you are. What's wrong? You don't like my decoration?"

"I love it, it's very cute."

"What's wrong then?"

You shrugged, but asked the question that tore your heart and burnt your tongue anyway.

"Harry… do you think that… I'm sorry for tonight."

"Sorry? For what?"

"You… Don't you think I'm a bit too much sometimes?"

"Too much? What do you mean?"

"I… I mean… Like right now? You've invited me to stay at your place and now look… it's all a mess."

Harry laughed.

"Yeah, it's kind of a mess. But… that's alright."

"I shouldn't have asked you to decorate the tree, it's not my house. I'm sorry."

You seemed sad now, and really, Harry couldn't have that. For the next two weeks, he would work at making you the happiest woman on Earth. He couldn't start failing in the first evening.

"Don't apologize, I love decorating the tree with you."

"Really?"

"I've been laughing almost non-stop ever since we've started, in case you hadn't noticed. Thought it would give me away…"

"I… I don't… it feels like intruding."

"Intruding? No, you're not. You're… you're just being you."

"What do you mean?"

He shrugged.

"I don't know, you're just… always finding nice things to do. Things that we used to do as children and have kinda forgotten when we shouldn't have, cause they're fun to do. You're… you make simple things more valuable. You give value to simple moments, and I think it's important to do that, to know how to appreciate simple things that money can't buy. And I think that… in our society right now, it's easy to forget about those things, but you don't. And it's nice. But why are you thinking about things like that?"

"Gareth told me that sometimes… I get a bit carried away with things… like tonight, for example. And that I should tune that down."

Harry's jaw clenched, but he struggled to only reveal his emotions through a raise of his eyebrows.

"Well, I think he's wrong, don't listen to him."

"I mean… he is right."

"How did he tell you that? What were the circumstances?"

"I wanted to play to a boardgame with him. But it was more of a… like… long-line-of-similar-things kind of stuff, I guess."

"He… he isn't talking down on you, is he?"

You could see now, despite Harry's best efforts at hiding his emotions, that he was getting angry. You shook your head and gave him a reassuring smile.

"No, he's very nice. He didn't say that to be mean. It was just a remark. Nothing mean intended. Still, it made me think and… he is right… sometimes I get overexcited and have silly ideas."

"Well, I love your silly ideas."

"You do?"

"Yeah… Do you really think that I would be making all of these if I didn't like making them with you?"

"I… I don't know, you're very nice. You could have said yes just to make me happy."

"Well, I didn't. I love that about you. I love that you're earnest and silly in an adorable way. I love that you've made a mess of my living room tonight. It's fun, and sweet, and it's who you are. And I don't think you should change for anybody, especially not a boyfriend."

"I thought that the people we love were supposed to make us be better."

"I think that… we want to change to be better for the people we love. But I don't think that if you truly, unconditionally love someone you would ask them to change. I want to change to be worthy of the people who love me. But I don't want the people I love to change for me, nor for anyone else, for that matter. If you're to change something about yourself, it should be because you want to do it, not because someone else told you to. Besides, what you're talking about changing is you being absolutely adorable all the damn time, that's not the worst trait of character a human can have."

You gave him a warm smile, before he reached for your hand.

"Promise me you won't change that about you," Harry whispered, his thumb dancing over your knuckles, making your heart trip behind your ribcage. "It's a good thing. Don't change… don't change for him. He's not worth you changing for him. No one on this Earth is worth that much."

His hand left yours and despite his house being warm and comfortable, your fingers felt cold without his to cover them.

You gave him a small but earnest smile, the gesture reaching the corners of your eyes.

You had been right, Harry wouldn't want you to change that about yourself… he wouldn't want you to change at all…

"Alright, I won't."

You resumed your activity, but it wasn't long before Harry spoke again, his deep voice covering the tune of White Christmas.

"So… what do you want us to do while you're here?" your friend asked while drawing little flowers over a ball of paper.

"I guess… the usual tourists spots. Kensington Gardens, St James's Park, Buckingham Palace, the National Gallery, Big Ben, the Tower Bridge, St Paul's Cathedral…"

"The clichés then…"

"Yeah, the clichés! And for the cute little places that I don't know about, you're gonna help me!"

"Alright… But tomorrow, I have something planned for you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's Sunday and… I know about a place you'll like."

You grinned, making Harry's heart miss a beat or two.

You really were a ray of sunshine every time you smiled…

"What is it?"

"Nope! Not telling! It's a surprise!" he shook his head, and despite your pout, he would not waver. "I'm sure you're going to love it though."

"I trust you."

"It won't take the whole day though. I guess, we could go there in the morning, eat something there, and then move on to another part of town."

"Sure."

"It's about… I'd say it's about a thirty-minutes-walk from the Tower of London, we could spend the rest of the afternoon there."

"Perfect!" you frantically nodded, your grin never leaving your lips.

"Alright, let's do that then."

You got up to place your star on the tree, and Harry handed you his decoration so you could choose a spot for it too. And you reckoned that this tree looked absolutely fabulous.

"I think we're done," you announced proudly. "What do you think?"

"I think this is the weirdest Christmas tree I've ever seen, but I love it."

"It looks amazing."

"It looks unapologetically bizarre, it's great!"

"Should we clean up?" you asked, but Harry shook his head.

"Let's exchange gifts first, then we'll clean up. I can't wait to give you your present any longer."

A moment later, and you were eating a cookie, both of you sitting before the illuminated tree, with a little pile of gifts in front of each of you.

"Alright, you start," Harry nodded towards the two boxes in front of you, one rather large but thin, and the other a tiny squared one.

You didn't need any more encouragement to excitedly grab the little box and tear the paper apart. Your action revealed a dark velvety box, that you slowly opened as well, wondering what could be inside.

Your eyes opened wide at the sight of a beautiful pendant in the shape of a delicate peony, shades of silver and copper making the patterns of petals and leaves.

"Wow…" you let out in a breath.

You took the jewel out of its box and ran your fingers across the delicate shapes. You noticed that something was engraved under the two petals, and when you took a closer look, you realized that it was yours and Harry's initials.

"So… do you like it?" Harry asked anxiously, trying to read through your expression, but your silence confused him. You usually were overjoyed when you received a gift, but you were barely reacting now, only studying the piece of jewellery he had chosen for you. "I know you don't like… diamonds and stuff, so I thought that this was more discreet… do you like it?"

"It's… it's gorgeous, Harry," you whispered. "It's so beautiful."

You finally looked up at him again with withheld tears in your eyes.

"I… I don't think anyone's ever offered me something that looks this precious before," you admitted in a weak voice.

"Well, you only deserve precious things."

You stared at each other for a moment, none of you truly breathing, none of you able to look away, as if there was an invisible string connecting the two of you and pulling to make you lean closer to each other.

But you looked away first, finally able to draw a full breath of air for your shouting lungs, and Harry looked down at his laps, trying to hide how he was blushing.

"I love it, it's gorgeous," you reassured him. "Can you help me put it on?"

"Sure, come here."

You scooted closer to him, turning your back to him so he could close the silver chain around your neck. His fingers struggled a little, shaking because of the scent of your shampoo overloading his senses, and he was grateful for being seated on the floor, because he could feel his legs weakening against the floor. His eyes weren't focused on the chain at all, but instead on the back of your neck, and it took everything in him to not lean down and kiss the soft skin that was revealed to him. Instead, he closed the clasp and let go of the chain.

"Done," he whispered, his voice too out of breath, but there was nothing he could do to hide how shaky his tone had turned.

"Thank you!"

You sat back behind your second gift, running your fingers across the delicate flower falling perfectly around your neck, a smile glued to your lips.

"Okay, open the other one!" Harry urged you, and you happily complied.

Tearing the wrapping paper apart, you revealed a beautiful scarf, a purple velvet embroidered with golden threads.

Once again, you were left speechless. Instead, you traced your fingers across the soft fabric and the embroidered flowers that ran across it.

"Wow… that's beautiful, Harry. But you… you shouldn't have bought me all that…"

"Why not? You love scarves. You have too many of those already, I know, but I thought that this one would suit you. And you don't have so many purple ones, you keep on saying that you need to find new ones in that colour."

"I know but… it's… it's too nice."

"Too nice?"

But you shook your head. You were being silly. Harry really was the best… these gifts were so right for you.

"It's perfect, Harry," you grinned, wrapping the scarf around your neck. It was soft and warm.

Harry shot you a cheeky grin.

"Yeah, I know, I'm good at giving gifts."

You wanted to retaliate with a clever word to wipe that annoying expression off his face, but you reckoned that he deserved to wear it this time. So instead, you leaned forward to hug him and kiss his cheek, unaware of the butterflies that had invaded Harry's stomach at your gesture, or the shot of electricity that ran through his spine as your lips touched his skin.

He was excellent at hiding all his symptoms, indeed.

"Thank you, Harry."

"Merry Christmas, Y/N."

"Alright, your turn!"

"Hang on, hang on… I'm admiring how good my gifts look on you!" he replied, slowly taking the wrapped object you had placed in front of him

"Open it!"

Harry laughed at you, shaking his head at how excited you were, but he tore the paper of his gift anyway.

It was a notebook, bound together by a black leather cover, upon which were written in silver Future hits. Harry couldn't help but laugh at the message. He guessed that you had customized it for him, and he ran his thumb across the words in a tender stroke.

He opened it, and found that you had written a little note on the front page.

So you can keep on making everyone's life better thanks to your music.

With all the love,

Y/N

PS: don't forget to be careful on the road.

He remained silent for a moment, his throat too tight to speak, feeling tears threaten to escape from his eyes.

But when he looked up at you again, he was wearing a touched smile on his features.

"Thank you," he breathed in a voice deeper than his usual tone, and you could hear the emotion in the way he sounded as he wrapped an arm around you to pull you into a tight hug.

"Do you like it?" you shyly asked while you wrapped your arms around his neck.

"I love it. Thank you. Thank you for everything."

"Merry Christmas, Harry."

Harry's smile widened as he let his forehead fall to rest on your shoulder.

"Merry Christmas, Y/N."

There was a mess around you waiting to be cleaned. And you hadn't eaten dinner yet. And you were exhausted and dreamt of a comfortable bed.

Yet, none of you had any intention to move. In fact, you remained for a long time like this, holding on each other, enjoying being together, probably for too long for a mere hug between friends, but none of you were ready to admit that fact. It was so much easier to push the thought away for now and simply be together, even if for just a little while…

***********************************

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#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #harry styles series #series #fanfiction #fanfic #imagine #writing

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ironhusband · 5 years ago

Text

I Forgot How We Used To Be

So, uh, mentions of DADT. I’m sorry y’all this will be angsty as shit. But also really fluffy.

~~~

Tony and Rhodey’s first kiss was the cheesiest thing in the world. It was in their dorm room. Tony heard they were playing broadcasting “Back to the Future” on a cable channel so he bought on impulse a TV, a popcorn machine and enough couches for a theater room, and set it all up in their home. When Rhodey came back home, he found a smiling Tony sitting on the seats, mentioning for Rhodey to sit next to him. Rhodey wanted to protest, tell Tony Rhodey didn’t need him to buy expensive things. Instead, he gave in and sat next to his friend.

They flirted whenever they got the chance, their hands bumped into each other as they reach for the popcorn, they both leaned into each other unconsciously, but the height of it all is when Rhodey stretched and yawned and his arm fell around Tony’s shoulders. Rhodey froze, realizing what happened.

But Tony only snorted. “That was cheesy as fuck,” he said but leaned into Rhodey’s side.

“You love it,” Rhodey smirked.

Tony looked up from Rhodey’s shoulder, “I do.”

And they kissed because it was inevitable.

And it was incredible.

~~~

Their first kiss wasn’t the only cheesy thing. They just were cheesy.

They were the kind of couple that gave each other good morning kisses and brought each other flowers when they saw that there were some on sale and that kind of couple that kissed the hand intertwined with theirs and that kind of couple that had elaborate or sweet pet names for one another or and that kind of couple that flirted shamelessly and that kind of couple that snuck into anywhere just to make out and that kind of couple that had their a code for when they wanted to talk privately in public and that kind of couple where the family of your significant other adopts you that kind of couple that used Polaroid instant camera and kept all the pictures in a secret box and they were that kind of couple that told each other “I love you” every chance they got. They were that kind of couple that loved each other and showed it every chance they got.

They were also that kind of couple that had to hide their relationship away from the paparazzi so Rhodey could be drafted. They were that kind of couple that shared “a kiss for good luck?” when Tony said goodbye to Rhodey at the train station. They were that kind of couple that had letters written and read and left at home to find, to be opened for any occasion under the sun that meant "for when you miss me". They were that kind of couple that sent and received care packages filled with flowers and love letters, for when they thought the gestures were needed. They were that kind of couple that a little distance didn’t affect. Their love went on for miles.

It didn’t last forever.

~~~

The day DADT was up for passing, Rhodey asked for a one day leave. He and Tony cuddled up in front of the news and willed the law not to pass, knowing it will change everything. Logically they both knew it would be an improvement; Rhodey could serve and he wouldn’t be asked. But there was a sickening feeling in their stomach that told them it was wrong.

When the law was passed neither of them looked at the screen. They didn’t look at each other either.

~~~

The policy somehow made it worse. Suddenly everyone became a suspect, no one could assume that there weren’t any gays in the military. The packages and letters stopped coming, Rhodey too afraid of anyone discovering he was gay. Their calls, those in public, sounded to everyone listening like they were just friends. Rhodey wasn’t asked, but the harassment came in different forms.

Tony hated it only a little less than Rhodey.

It wasn’t easy; as Rhodey rose in the ranks and became the liaison for SI they had to hide more often. As Tony and Rhodey got more friends that they trusted; Pepper, Happy, Maria, and Carol only knew them as subtle. As Tony got more attention, Rhodey and Tony never even got to touch in public. As Rhodey once said “I’m glad that we hid this since the beginning or I would be out of a job” they both felt conflicted at the fight that followed. As Tony disappeared, Rhodey searched tirelessly for him and was mocked with the rhetorical question “what, are you in love with him or something?”; Rhodey wanted to scream but instead, he calmly responded, “sir, to my understating that is the Don’t Ask part of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” It was hard and frustrating and Tony just wanted to buy out the government with all of his money as long as the law got repealed.

And then it did.

~~~

Old habits die hard, however. They weren’t used to suddenly being able to be affectionate. They used to do it all the time before, with no distance and no suspicion. But now, 22 years later... they got used to being watched. It took a while before they got back to how they used to be.

The first spet it was when Tony texted him. They never texted before. Not like that at least. It was always professional and strained, and although they both wanted to write something sweeter, they never did, they never could.

And then Tony did it.

It was Rhodey’s first business trip since DADT was repealed, the first time they spent time apart after DADT was repealed. Tony woke up aching for Rhodey. And so he reached for his phone, searching for Rhodey and wrote up a text... before freezing, remembering. He nearly turned off his phone before he remembered again, this time the good news, and then he hesitantly pressed send.

“Good morning, honey ❤️”

Tony waited nervously for a response, half preparing for when he would be asked to hack into SMS and delete the text. Instead what he got back was,

“Good morning, baby ❤️”

~~~

More habits started to come back slowly.

~~~

The first time they kissed in front of their friends, they were shocked.

“Oh my God,” Pepper said, “did you just kiss?”

“Yeah,” Tony smirked, quite proud of himself, “any problem with that?”

“No, it’s just... I never saw you two kiss.”

Rhodey frowned, “was that some fantasy of yours?”

Happy fought off a smile.

“I’m just surprised that’s all,” Pepper bristled, “you never kiss.”

“Well, now we can, so,” and Tony took Rhodey’s hand.

~~~

Date night was returned rather dully. It started like any other “guys night out” evening they had. They just went out to some bar, drank some beers, played some billiard, and ate some junk food off the menu. But then Tony held his hand under the table, and suddenly it was different.

From then on, they held hands under tables and kissed good night when they got back home every Thursday.

~~~

For their anniversary, Tony arranged for them to go on a vacation together, and they spent it with Rhodey taking over for Tony’s spectacular failure at cooking dinner, and then later after an amazing dinner, gifts were exchanged. Tony got him a photo album of all their old photos.

“I thought you told me you burned them all,” Rhodey looked bewildered.

Tony winced, “couldn’t do that. I hid them really well though. Forgive me?”

Rhodey shook his head, “it’s ok. I’m glad you didn’t destroy them.”

Tony smiled.

Rhodey and Tony flipped through the pages, reminiscing about old times, laughed about old jokes, kissed when they felt particularly affectionate until they reached the part where the photo album was blank.

Rhodey looked up to Tony in question.

Tony grinned, “the last half we’ll fill with photos from this.” And he showed Rhodey a black instant Polaroid camera.

Their first photo after that was Rhodey kissing Tony deeply.

~~~

The habits fully returned a year after DADT was repealed, triggered by Rhodey catching on to Tony having a panic attack while they were on a date.

“Tony? Are you okay?” Rhodey asked, moving to hold Tony, that had begun to shake.

“Ye-yeah, I have to- I have to go,” Tony stammered and quickly exited the restaurant. Rhodey chased after him but what he saw when he walked outside was the Iron Man suit flying away.

Rhodey called Tony, and when there was no answer. He went to Tony's house, this time not taking a rejection. He banged on the doors and demanded Tony let him in.

“Tones!” Rhodey hugged Tony as he walked into the apartment, “what the fuck was that? Are you having a panic attack?”

“I don’t know, I-” Tony leaned into the touch, melting in his arms. Tony was very sweaty, and he was shaking like a leaf in Rhodey's arms.

“Breathe in and out, Tony,” Rhodey instructed, deciding to ignore Tony brushing him off for now.

“Your heartbeat helps calm me,” Tony mumbled.

When Tony stopped shaking, Rhodey turned Tony towards him so they were face to face. “Tony, baby... why did you run out of the restaurant? I could have helped you. You know I used to have panic attacks too.”

Tony looked away from Rhodey’s gaze, “you would’ve wanted to comfort me. We can’t be seen affectionate in public...”

Rhodey stared at him, trying to see how serious Tony was. When a nervous expression was all the looked back, Rhodey enveloped him in his arms again.

He should have known. They rarely held hands in public. They never kissed goodbye when everyone could see. They only times they said I love you were between each other. They weren’t a PDA couple. Not anymore.

But they could be, “baby, anytime you want me, in any way you want me, you can have me. You can hold my hand, you can ask for a hug, you can request a kiss... whatever it is... I’m yours.”

Tony didn’t respond, he only buried his head in Rhodey’s chest and silently cried.

~~~

After that, Tony and Rhodey got back to their PDA habits very quickly. They kissed hello and goodbye, they said or shouted I love you in public, they gave each other flowers when everyone could see and they held hands every chance they got (sometimes while flipping off the paps).

“I miss DADT,” Pepper groaned as she watched Tony and Rhodey cuddle, in the middle of a passionate kiss as Pepper said her joke.

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moony-rayne · 5 years ago

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I will write more but I’m lazy.

[ SHAWN MENDES // 21 // MALE // HE/HIM // L] can you believe MOON “MOONY” RAYNE is apart of the stellar world tour? the industry has dubbed him/her/them THE HEARTTHROB and he has quite the reputation. sources say he is [ GENUINE] and [ RELIABLE ], but can also be [ SPINELESS ] and [ MISGUIDED ]. however, he is best described by the song [ SHOW YOU ] by [ SHAWN MENDES]. i can’t to see what the stellar world tour has in store for him.

-Moony was raised by hippie parents who wanted him and his twin sister (Sunshine) to stay with the family and go into working for their family owned tea shop. While his parents were great in most aspects they never supported his music as the only outcome they could see would be going into the Hollywood lifestyle. His childhood was very different than most. He was raised to live a vegan, zero waste lifestyle. He spent a lot of his free time, even as a kid helping with the family business as not only did they sell tea, but they grew it as well. Moony was a curious kid though and enjoyed trying different things at his friends house. When he was old enough to start making his own choices about his lifestyle, he decided to continue with veganism though while he is still conscious about his waste and impact on the environment he would not consider himself low or zero waste.

-Despite his parents efforts to keep him from music, the music teacher in his school saw his passion and gave him free private lessons during lunch and recess. Moony took quickly to playing and writing and began to write songs in his free time which he would perform and post in private youtube videos so he wouldn’t upset his parents. Youtube became a place merely for him to store his songs, he never even shared them with his friends or sister.

-Music was something that was always for him so he never cared that his stuff wasn’t getting listened to. He was content recording a song, privately uploading it and moving on. One day he posted a video and forgot to make it private. He had no idea until his phone started blowing up with messages from people he knew. The video and song instantly went viral. You couldn’t log onto the internet or watch a news channel without his face and song popping up. Suddenly he was someone nobody knew could even sing to someone everyone wanted to hear more from.

-No more than a month later he was being contacted by a record label and flown out to LA, leaving his parents, sister and lifestyle behind. While his parents were proud of him, they did not support his choice to leave and made his way to LA alone, not sure how to navigate the business. This lead him into a meeting without a lawyer. The record label making what his life could be sound incredible, he quickly signed the contracts. He wasn’t aware that the label was taking advantage of him. He wasn’t aware he signed his life and his music away more than he should have. As long as he keeps them happy he probably won’t even figure it out. But can he keep making them happy forever?

-While new to the business all eyes have been on Moony as he steps into the industry as the “next big thing”. It has been a year since his video went viral. In the past year he has been on every morning and late night TV show. He has written and released his first album which instantly went to number 1. He’s been living a life many would dream of. Without having even done a concert of his own, let alone a tour he has been invited to perform in the Stellar World Tour.

-As of now Moony still has rose colored glasses on and is excited to make music and share it with others for the first time in his life and get to tour with others who he assumes are just as passionate about music as he is. He hopes to make friends in the industry through this experience and grow as a performer on a stage. He thought he was already living the celebrity lifestyle but he has no idea what he’s getting into being thrust into a group of people who have been doing this a lot longer than him.

#introstellar

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erikahenningsen · 5 years ago

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My 15 favorite theater experiences of 2019

In no particular order:

1. Choir Boy (Samuel Friedman Theatre, New York, NY): I say in no particular order, but if you know anything about me, you know that Choir Boy is my number-one show of the year. I saw it four times on Broadway and twice in Boston. Tarell Alvin McCraney’s writing is so beautiful, human, and fearless. He puts works of art on stages, television, and film that nobody else does. Jeremy Pope’s performance as Pharus is easily in the top three greatest performances I’ve seen on a Broadway stage. If your local regional theater is doing this show, I cannot encourage you enough to go and see it.

2. What the Constitution Means to Me (Helen Hayes Theater, New York, NY): This show was unlike any other play I’ve seen before. Heidi Schreck, who wrote and starred in WTCMTM, wrote a deeply human, poignant, and timely play about a document written by a bunch of rich, white men a few centuries ago and made it gripping, engaging, and relevant. It’s a show I believe every American should see. As an added bonus, Heidi is genuinely one of the kindest people I’ve met.

3. The Wrong Man (MCC Theater, New York, NY): I saw The Wrong Man for the first time three weeks before it closed, and I immediately fell in love with it and went back several more times in those three weeks. The Wrong Man is only ninety minutes long and has only three main characters, but it presents an engaging story about forgiveness, mercy, justice, guilt, and innocence. Ross Golan, the composer/lyricist, began performing The Wrong Man as a concept album thirteen years ago and turned it into a full musical. The score is beautiful and has some really great bops, and the choreography is probably the best I’ve ever seen.

4. Waitress with Sara Bareilles and Gavin Creel (Brooks Atkinson Theatre, New York, NY): I’m personally not the biggest fan of Waitress, but this was one of the most fun nights I had in a theater this year. Sara and Gavin had amazing chemistry, and I have never laughed so much at Waitress before.

5. A Strange Loop (Playwrights Horizons, New York, NY): A Strange Loop is unlike any show I’ve ever seen before. It’s unlike anything anyone has seen before. How many shows center around a fat, black, queer character? I can’t think of any. Michael R. Jackson, the book writer/composer/lyricist, has an incredible ability to write satire that has you laughing at the same time you’re being punched in the face emotionally. A Strange Loop grapples with the intersections of racism, homophobia, and fatphobia. It’s meta at the same time it’s grounded, and gets more and more intense as the show progresses. I walked out of the theater in a daze after I saw it. My fingers are crossed it comes to Broadway.

5. Mean Girls, Taylor Louderman’s last show (August Wilson Theatre, New York, NY): Going to Mean Girls is a routine thing for me, and I’ve seen the show dozens of times, but every once in awhile something special happens that reignites my love for this show. Taylor’s last show was obviously incredibly sad for me, the cast, and everyone who loves this show, but I also laughed more and harder on this evening than I have in a very long time at Mean Girls. Everyone, especially Taylor, was giving this performance their all, and I’ll never forget it.

6. The Secret Life of Bees (Atlantic Theater Company, New York, NY): I had suspicions I was really going to love this show before I saw it, but I absolutely fell in love with it. The music is gorgeous (thank you, Duncan Sheik), the performances are stellar, and the story, though set decades ago, is as timely and relevant as ever. I do cry at shows pretty often, but rarely do I tear up because of how overwhelmingly beautiful a show is—but I did that at Secret Life of Bees. I’m still impatiently waiting on that Broadway transfer announcement.

7. Beetlejuice (Winter Garden Theatre, New York, NY): Despite all its flaws, I love this crazy, loud, obnoxious, wild show so much. I had seen it in DC and counted down the days until first preview on Broadway. I rushed first preview and ended up with front-row tickets, and I had one of the most fun nights in a theater I’ve ever had. The performances really make the show, and I’ve been very vocal about how I strongly believe Leslie Kritzer was snubbed by the Tonys. Beetlejuice also has my favorite scenic design for any show. I also have a uniquely personal connection to this showL Beetlejuice used to have a joke in the show I felt was offensive, so I reached out to Eddie Perfect and Alex Timbers and explained to them why I was hurt by it, and they actually listened to my feedback and removed the joke. I’m hoping Beetlejuice can find another home after June, because I’m not ready to say goodbye yet.

8. Next to Normal (Ground Floor Theatre/Deaf Austin Theatre, Austin, TX): For years I had been wanting an ASL production of Next to Normal with Sandra Mae Frank as Natalie, so when it actually happened I knew I had to fly to Texas to see it. I don’t think I’ve ever cried more at a show. Sandy made me look at Natalie in a whole new way, and the ASL interpretations of the lyrics added so many new layers to the show. Megg Rose, the Deaf actor who played Diana, gave one of the best performances I’ve seen, and I want her to be on Broadway immediately. This production really was a dream come true for me.

9. Six (Chicago Shakespeare Theater, Chicago, IL): We drove to Chicago from NYC to see Six, and it was definitely worth it. I was in the front row for the first time I saw it, which was a terrifying but incredibly fun experience. This cast is so incredibly talented, and the show is so much fun, and being there with almost all of my closest friends was such a memorable experience. I’m so excited to see it again when it comes to Broadway.

10. Little Shop of Horrors (Westside Theatre, New York, NY): This was my first experience seeing LSOH, and I had an absolute blast. The performances were incredible, with Christian Borle being just off-the-wall crazy. I haven’t laughed that much at a show in awhile. The Audrey II puppets are fantastic, and what they’ve done with the scenic design in such a small space is amazing. I’m excited to see it again with Gideon Glick.

11. Indecent (Huntington Theatre Company, Boston, MA): Indecent is and always will be my favorite play, and I’m so incredibly grateful I got to see it again in Boston. Huntington recreated the Broadway production with many of the original cast members, and it was such a special show. I never thought I’d see that production again live, and Huntington gave me such an incredible gift with this play.

12. Freestyle Love Supreme (Booth Theatre, New York, NY): FLS is just fun from start to finish. It’s completely improvised with special unannounced guests every night, so it’s different every time you see it. I loved seeing how they made the show more inclusive between Off-Broadway and Broadway (by asking people their pronouns, for example), and I have a blast every time.

13. Ain’t Too Proud - The Life and Times of the Temptations (Imperial Theatre, New York, NY): I saw Ain’t Too Proud mostly for Jeremy Pope, and I was so pleasantly surprised by how much I genuinely loved the show. Derrick Baskin is one of the most hardworking performers on Broadway—he literally does not leave the stage. The choreography is so much fun, and each person in the cast is so incredibly talented. It’s also one of the most pleasant stage doors I’ve ever experienced; everyone at the stage door just really genuinely wants to congratulate and thank the performers, and the actors are so kind.

14. Teeth (National Alliance for Musical Theatre Festival, New York, NY): It’s wild even to me that I’m putting a staged partial reading on this list, but that’s how good Teeth was. I spent the entire time laughing, and the songs are constantly stuck in my head. Everyone at the festival was talking about how much they loved the show, so I’m hopeful there will be a full production of it sometime soon.

15. Slave Play (John Golden Theatre, New York, NY): It’s hard to talk about Slave Play because it transcends descriptors like “good” or “bad.” Slave Play is important. It’s complex. It’s necessarily provocative. And it’s shaken up Broadway like no show has in recent memory. It’s a show I think every American adult should see. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I saw it. It only runs for a couple more weeks, and if you haven’t seen it, you need to.

#this was hard because i have no concept of time and can't remember anything that happened before may #long post #i'm gwen and i approve this message

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bantan · 6 years ago

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190622 CanCam - Member Interview

Raws by @takejun20522_ at Twitter

“I get really nervous on large stages, but the feeling of “I have to do it” makes me that much stronger.”

When it comes to memories of America, it has to be the BBMAs. It was our first live performance with Halsey, so it really left an impression on me. I also met Drake, who I’ve always admired, and he said “You guys are the most famous in America right now”. I found it funny to have the person who I consider to be the best in America say that to us.

Being on an incredibly big stage makes me nervous, but when we’re in America my feelings of “I have to do this” grow even stronger to make up for the members. It can’t be helped, since the others can’t say that much. I think I’m cooler than usual when I’m in America. (laughs)

Speaking of cool, personally I find JK to be really cool recently. He’s pretty much always working out. I haven’t been able to exercise much lately, but JK is always building his muscles. There’s something mesmerising about his body, even from a man’s perspective. (laughs)

The other thing that left an impression in America was the second concert in LA, when I looked at the audience during the encore. There’s a performance where they illuminate us with their phone flashlights, and it was just so beautiful. The Japanese original song “Lights” this time is exactly that. In a dark space or dark time, look at that light and keep walking. In a way, it’s the light that ARMY have shown us, and also ARMY themselves… I made the song with those kinds of feelings. That’s why, when I close my eyes now, what comes to mind is… Huh? It’s V. Because I saw him sleeping over there just now. (laughs)

Q. Was your legendary Rose Bowl comment an adlib?

I prepared a comment for the encore, but the audience’s lights were so pretty they blew it all away. It was so beautiful, some words about the galaxy just came out.

Q. What’s your recommended point of the new song?

Boy with Luv’s dance that looks like hitchhiking. I want to try it for real, but I don’t think anyone would stop for me because I’m scary. (laughs)

Q. How do you refresh yourself lately?

I like looking at art. In terms of Japan, I like Senju Hiroshi’s “Taki”. I’ve heard Senju-sensei has an art gallery, so I’d like to visit one day.

Q. Do you have any plans to write a book in the future?

It was my dream to be an author when I was in primary school. But after meeting music and having my dreams fulfilled as BTS right now, I’d like to continue working hard with BTS. (laughs) Once I’m 40-50 years old, it’d be nice to write novels and essays.

JIN

“Even in the smallest moments of our daily lives, we show consideration for each other. That’s part of what makes us BTS.”

I’m the eldest of our team, but I’m the type to approach others with no regard for age hierarchies. I’ve never really been overly conscious about those things, but recently I’ve started to believe that “the culture of changing attitudes or the way you treat others based on an older or younger age isn’t good”, and it also makes the relationship seem lifeless. The fact that not only me, but the other members also think this way is part of what makes BTS BTS. Showing consideration for each other over everything, no matter how small, can be felt in the smallest moments of our daily lives. If there’s something that another member wouldn’t like, another member would speak up and say “You should probably stop that” first.

Apart from that, the members charms that only I know… I think ARMY would know better than me. Since I’m not watching the others that closely… (laughs) Ah, but it’s funny if you pay attention to RM during the American interviews. He’s fluent in English and leads the interviews with his answers, but he also makes sure to direct some questions to us. Whenever he does that, he makes sure to give us the chance to answer with one or two easy words instead of a difficult sentence, so that we’re able to answer them too. Like how RM excels in language, and the others excel in dance and singing… Our team’s strength is in how we each have our own speciality, which I think is very cool.

Q. What’s a “small happiness” you felt yesterday or today?

I’ve been into the TV show “Walking Dead” recently. There was a character I didn’t really like that I would have preferred to be gone. Then a zombie solved the issue for me. (laughs)

Q. What do you see when you close your eyes right now?

(While closing eyes) A zombie. (laughs) They keep appearing when I close my eyes.

Q. What’s something cute about the members?

When they meet celebrities they’ve always wanted to meet at Billboard, they get really happy.

Q. What choreography do you like from BTS songs?

The part where we hit the table in Dionysus.

Q. How do you refresh yourself lately?

…Zombies. (laughs) I’ve only talked about zombies today, is that okay?!

JUNGKOOK

“Personally I wish I had a single talent that I excelled in”

There’s a lyric in the new song “Lights” that goes like “Nobody’s perfect”. I really love this part. It’s like I’m being consoled that it’s fine not to be perfect. People often praise me saying that my dance and singing is perfect, but that’s not true at all. I wish I had a single talent that I excelled in. I’ve tried many things in search of that, but right now I’m focusing on doing my best in the things I need to do. While doing that, listening to this song makes me realise I don’t have to be perfect, which is comforting. Ah, I don’t have anything I’m particularly good at, but there is something that I’m bad at. Using my head! I’m really bad at that. (laughs) Speaking of new songs, Boy with Luv is also a really good song. After all, its choreography is rather simple out of all of BTS’ songs. That’s a happy point for me. (laughs)

It’s really difficult to completely recover your stamina while standing on the stage. Even I unconsciously try to squeeze out the last of my energy as the concert nears its end. There have been times where I’ve been unable to move from muscle pain the day after a concert. That’s why right now my top priority is to not get hurt. I want to be able to build myself up and manage my body more… Huh, what part of myself am I most confident in? Ah… (shy smile) Hmm, I wonder. I don’t know myself. I’ll do my best to build my body up more!

Q. What’s your honest opinion of the current world tour?

There’s a song called Mikrokosmos on our album, but it’s like seeing that for real. It’s so inspiring and makes my heart burn sharply. I really think of it as a happy moment to me.

Q. What do you see when you close your eyes right now?

Lots of things come to mind, but none are very clear. They’re all a vague blur… Like I can nearly see it, but can’t. (laughs)

Q. What part of the members do you think is adorable?

Jimin. You can tell he really loves the stage from the bottom of his heart. We really understand each other in that way.

Q. What’s a method of relaxing that you’re into?

Recently I went to Ariana Grande’s concert and had a lot of fun. I was encouraged as an artist and I was able to enjoy the music a lot, so it was great.

Q. What are the conditions for you to think that someone is wonderful?

Someone who has a lot to teach others, someone I can understand. And someone who is cool!

SUGA

“The nerves at Billboard, the choreography of a new song. I always enjoy doing new things.”

We barely have the chance to do these sorts of interviews anymore, so being able to send our words to the readers and ARMY like this makes me happy.

When we make original songs in Japanese, we take a lot of things into consideration when creating it. What I noticed in doing that is that there’s a certain sensitivity that can be found only in the original Japanese songs. Like with the song’s melody and style, the lyrics are just as sensitive. With all the emotional parts, I think the new song “Lights” has especially brought out those emotions well.

I’d also like you to pay attention to the choreography of Boy with Luv! There’s something new about it compared to our style until now. I always enjoy doing new things. Even at Billboard, that feeling of elation seeing our group name during the Top Duo/Group award. The feeling of tension entering the Rose Bowl like we’re participating in the finals of the World Cup... They’re all memories I’ll have forever, and it was all so much fun.

When I want to switch over from that exciting space and relax, I often listen to lo-fi hip-hop. It’s mentally comforting. My favourite is Nujabes. I’ve always liked him in the past, but I’ve been listening to him more again lately. As for recent changes, I’ve gotten into a game. I wasn’t a person who played games, but now I’m really into a certain game. As long as I have the chance, I’ll be playing it. I’m the type to continuously do something once I become obsessed with it—and not only with music. Everyone says I’ve become more talkative since I started playing games? That’s not true. They just feel that way because we’re together 24 hours a day, surely. (laughs)

Q. What’s a small happiness you felt yesterday/today?

Yesterday… I didn’t do anything… The time I spent lying in the hotel bed was my happiness. (laughs)

Q. What comes to mind when you close your eyes right now?

(Closes eyes) The feeling of being in the stadium and looking at roughly 70,000 people in the audience from the stage. It was really like looking at a galaxy of stars.

Q. Did you buy anything during this American tour?

Every time I come to America I buy another piece of music equipment. This time I bought a mic.

Q. What’s your recommended song for when you feel down?

Dionysus. It’s Latin, so it energises you.

Q. What kind of person do you think is “wonderful”?

Someone who can do their job well. No matter their employment or gender, people who do things properly are cool.

“ARMY’s cheers are my reward. It feels like everything paid off!”

We’re right in the middle of our world tour right now, but I really felt that the fans are a huge source of energy to us once more. Every time we have a concert and so many people send us their cheers, it feels like I’ve been rewarded for all my efforts until now. The scenery at America’s Rose Bowl was truly beautiful. When I saw that picturesque scenery, it felt like everything had paid off. At the same time, because every member individually stands out, the whole group can stand out. I really thought everyone looked so cool.

In the free time during our tour, I’ve been into visiting art galleries and finding new works of art. Recently I’ve really been liking the works of Fernando Botero and Edward Hopper. Of course there’s a charm with famous works, but there are lots of less famous works that are just as lovely. That’s why I’ve been having a lot of fun recently looking for works that aren’t really well known by other people but shine in my eyes when I look at them. As for other ways to relax… I feel happy when I look at clothes and furniture that I like. I can understand why clothes, but I’m not sure why I feel calm when I look at nice furniture. (laughs) Speaking of clothes, I splurged on a brand I love the other day! I bought a dress shirt and jacket and knitwear and T-shirts, and that made me really happy. As for other things I got excited about recently, the Korean catering just now was really good. I never imagined I’d be able to eat that in America, so I was really happy. <3

Q. What do you see when you close your eyes?

Birds. I don’t know if they’re beautiful or not, but they’re flying in a flock. (laughs)

Q. V seems to have a lot of friends, what are some tricks to making friends?

If I think someone matches me in personality, I’ll approach them as myself and talk to them. When I think we think the same way, I’ll often get closer to them myself.

Q. Which BTS song would you recommend to cheer someone up?

Mikrokosmos. I listen to this song a lot myself recently.

Q. What makes you think someone is wonderful?

Someone who has a clear mind and can express themselves clearly. Someone who makes you think “I want to follow this person” just by hearing them talk. Don’t you think that’s wonderful too? Someone exactly like RM.

J-HOPE

“I don’t need to worry about the other members when we’re on the stage anymore.”

The members have been together for such a long time, we understand each other as easily as breathing when we’re on the stage. After spending over 7-8 years with each other, we can tell what each other is thinking just by meeting eyes. Because we all know what our role is and what we need to do, we don’t need to worry as much about what the others are doing on the stage anymore--in a good way. But in our hearts, we’re constantly making sure no one gets hurt or sick. Since every member is a precious, irreplaceable piece of a whole.

In order to make the stage a better place, I personally endeavor in image training. I’m always thinking about how I can make the same concert contents into something fresh every time. As for things I do for my own sake... let’s see. Lately, I've been drinking onion juice (玉ねぎ汁) every morning. I also take a variety of healthy things, like herbal medicine and vitamins. (laughs) I believe that a healthy heart is not only connected to food and drink, but also to maintaining a clean state of mind. When I’m in a good mood, I think I naturally feel better, and smiling more also leads to having a better condition. The secret to my smiling face? Thank you for the praise! (laughs) This is how I am every day! When I live every moment in gratitude, I naturally end up expressing my feelings on my face. Even in this moment, when I think about how we’re appearing on the front cover of CanCam, I end up smiling out of gratitude.

Q. What was a small happiness you felt yesterday or today?

It really is a small thing, but breathing the air here in LA. Being able to work outside in locations like this both yesterday and today and feel the atmosphere of the area makes me happy.

Q. What comes to mind when you close your eyes right now?

I wonder what... “If only I could fall asleep like this”, I guess? I’m a little sleepy right now. (laughs)

Q. What part do you like from the new song?

I love my part in “Lights”. Though I’m sure everyone loves their own part! (laughs)

Q. What makes you think someone is wonderful?

Someone who does their work properly, a person who can clearly tell the difference between public and private, someone with high professional sense. And someone who smiles a lot! Yes, I’m talking about me! (laughs)

Q. What made your heart skip a beat recently?

When I bought something I liked. I did a lot of shopping in LA... like art and things.

JIMIN

“Seeing all the members’ sincere selves made me want to change too.”

I’ve been with the members every day for 8 years, so I really can’t find anything unexpected about them. Despite that, during the current world tour I felt once again that each and every member treats their job with a sincere sense of responsibility. In the rehearsal the day before the concert, each member checks every detail of their solo songs so it takes roughly 13 hours. It made me realise how much they treasured the stage. Even being beside them made me think about many things.

Since coming to America, I’ve started sleeping and waking up early. I’ve started to get up early and listen to songs, open my computer and click around with my mouse. (laughs) The fact I can wake up by myself instead of having a manager wake me up for the first time in a while makes me want to be praised. (laughs)

What I look for in a wonderful person? Let’s see, I’ve made a new friend recently, but when I see that person I think “How wonderful”. They’re responsible and treasure what they’re doing with gratitude. I think attitudes like that are cool. Also, people who know what makes them happy are cool too. A recent moment where I’ve felt gratitude and happiness is when we sang Mikrokosmos at the stadium. The audience all held their lights and illuminated us. That situation and the lyrics really resonated within my chest. By the way, the lyric was “It might even be that the expression of this night is again so beautiful” [lyric credit: wisha]. They’re the words that RM wrote for me. (laugh)

Q. What’s a small happiness you felt yesterday or today?

The scenery here (the studio of a house in LA) is very pretty, so just looking outside makes me happy.

Q. What moment comes to mind when you close your eyes?

(With eyes closed) Hmm... I haven’t eaten yet today. So I’m thinking of going to eat after this.

Q. What song do you recommend for when you’re feeling down?

Boy with Luv and Jamais Vu. Jamais Vu is a song between J-Hope, Jin, and Jungkook. It’s healing to me too.

Q. What made your heart skip a beat recently?

The biggest moment was when we received an award at Billboard! Also, my heart beats faster when I look at Cancam. (laughs)

Q. Is there anything you fuss over with hair care?

I’ve been struggling with hair care lately, so my hair’s getting shorter even if I don’t cut it. I wanted to be a little kinder to my hair, so I’m making it black for a while.

#mine #bts

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mitchellsbeca · 5 years ago

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Chapters: 1/? Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell Summary: A collection of prompts/tumblr requests. Bechloe for now but may change later.

prompt 18. “I shouldn’t be in love with you.”

In all honesty, it was the last person Beca expected to turn up, her arrival always catching Beca off guard and tilting her center of gravity.

It had been about six months since she’d officially signed with Khaled, six months since the Bellas had split and gone their own ways and Beca had moved to Florida. But she’d still invited them all to the release party for her first album, something she’d worked tirelessly on to get it completed as soon as possible (and she already had a repertoire of songs and beats saved on her computer so there hadn’t been a great deal of work to do, just plenty of fine-tuning).

Understandably some couldn’t make it; Jessica and Ashley were busy at a different event in California doing... something (she should really ask them what they’re doing now), Cynthia Rose was in military training and couldn’t get the leave, Lilly or Ester or whatever her name was now was off somewhere in the Southern Hemisphere, Fat Amy had flown herself over since she had the money now, along with a Aubrey, Emily, Flo and Stacie (who had actually brought Bella with her and made motherhood look cool and easy at the same time). But Chloe had reluctantly declined, her studies taking up most of her time now that she was at vet school with an unavoidable exam taking place the same Friday. And she was the one Beca had been most looking forward to seeing.

It was a red carpet event so everyone was dressed particularly nicely. Beca had been assigned a blazer slash play suit piece, dark red with cut-off shorts in matching fabric and heels. Hair and make up had been done - maybe even over done for Beca’s liking - but done nonetheless. And she did look killer, she wouldn’t disagree. Beca was actually feeling good.

But even in the sea of people at the venue, alongside influencers, other artists and photographers, Beca pulling attention from all corners, her focus wasn’t with anyone else but who’d just walked in.

It was like a parting of the ocean, Beca’s direct line of sight guided by a line of emptiness with people either side and all sound plunging to mute.

A blue gilded dress with a deep neckline held the woman tight, hair braided like a halo around her head with strands falling to frame her face. And the sky. The endless gorgeous sky that Beca always saw in her eyes, even from halfway across the room it was like daylight and the height of summer and the endless possibilities that could be. Could have been.

Beca excused herself from the group she was surrounded by, one of them a journalist who was halfway done with asking Beca questions about the album and attempting to pry into her personal life.

Chloe looked lost, eyes wandering across the vast, dark room in sight of any face she might find familiar with clutch caught in front as her body turned. Beca wove through bodies on the approach, smile growing ever so slightly larger as she neared.

And Chloe beamed, spotting the brunette head towards her and she moved forward, arms outstretched and ready to embrace her best friend. Laughter escaped them both when they hugged, Chloe’s warmth seeping into Beca, dissolving her stress and settling some of the underlying anxiety she’d been suffering from all day.

“I thought you couldn’t make it?” Beca asked.

“Amy flew me over from New York. You know she has her own private jet now, right?”

“I do.”

“Well, she didn’t take no for an answer, so she got her pilot to fly back and pick me up after my exam and I got ready on the plane.”

“Yeah, you look like you got ready on a plane,” Beca jested with a playful smirk.

“Please. This is Mile High Couture, thank you very much,” she said, splaying her arms out as she showed off her out and stroke a pose, “And I was going to say I look better than you but that would be an outright lie. You look... stunning, Beca, honestly.”

“This? It’s just people doing their job to make me look good. Turns out you can only do so much with an actual potato. But yours is all natural, you don’t even need to try; you always look incredible.”

“You’re not a potato. But we’ll leave the ‘all natural’ comment out for discussion.” “Dude, I’m not kidding.”

The grin on her face faltered, like a sudden thought had popped to the forefront of Chloe’s mind and escaped to her expression. She eyed someone next to them before she leaned in, pulling at Beca’s wrist and asking in a hushed voice, “Is there somewhere we can go that’s a bit more... private?”

Beca turned to who Chloe had been eyeing; a tall guy with heavy duty camera equipment that was beginning to snap pictures, flash almost blinding. A small group of people lingered behind him too, so Beca nodded in response and grasped the wrist of the hand holding her own, pulling Chloe behind her. She knew where to go. There was a secret balcony down a corridor next to the restrooms that she had scouted earlier that day. So Beca lead them there, out into the Floridian air that was more humid than inside but fair quieter.

“Sorry about that,” Beca apologized.

Chloe shook it off, “You’re a big celebrity now. People want to know you.” “I’m just making music, like I’ve always been doing. Just... more people are listening to it now.”

A silence fell. The thumping bass of the music inside was the only thing that could be heard but the air was still around them. They were both leaning against the edge of the balcony, solid stone wall cool on their skin.

Beca was about to speak when Chloe jumped in before her, “I listened to it. The album, I mean. As soon as you sent it over I listened to it in one sitting. I’m not going to lie to you when I tell you I cried a little bit.”

“You cry at videos of dogs.”

Chloe chuckled, “So it wasn’t necessarily a hard task, okay? But still... it really moved me, Beca.”

“Good. I’m glad you like it.”

“Especially the hidden track.”

The brunette’s posture went rigid. She doesn’t know how, but Beca had been hoping Chloe had missed it, that dumb song she’d unknowingly recorded on her down time (thanks to Theo, once again), stripped back and acoustic. “Yeah?” she asked.

“I don’t know why, but when I first heard it I was kind of... I don’t know. I had to listen to it again. But when I did, I was just... crying and I couldn’t work out why, but I felt like it was a piece of a puzzle that I didn’t even know I had that I’d been missing. And I asked Amy if she’d heard it and what she thought of it and she told me. She told me it was about us. And how you felt about me.”

“Feel,” Beca corrected, staring at the street below them.

A beat, too long too be promising, “...what?”

And it was now or never, Beca decided. Because if she owed Chloe anything, it was the truth. She didn’t have the energy to keep tip-toeing anymore. Chloe had her life sorted now so it wouldn’t make a difference, but she deserved to know, “How I feel about you. Because I love you. And I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t be in love with you because it’s not my place to be in love with you—”

“Beca...”

“The truth is, Chloe, I’ve loved you since Freshman year; starting from when you broke into my shower and invited me to audition for the Bellas. When we sang together for the first time?” Beca asked like she thought Chloe wouldn’t remember. “It just took me too long to realize, and when I did... it was too late. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was too slow and gave too little. I didn’t just break up with Jesse because of the long distance. He wanted me to move with him to LA and I said no, but as soon as you said you were going to New York the thought of not seeing you on the daily made me feel like I was going to drop off the planet. So I agreed to move with you and make it work. I knew I couldn’t ask you to be with me the same way as I was with Jesse, but it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter because I was still saw you every day. And even on the USO tour I didn’t say anything because... because I already knew I was too late...” she looked up at Chloe with a sad, gentle smile, but blue eyes were covered by eyelids pressed shut, cheeks glistening in the dark, “and that was okay. I made my peace with that even before we moved. I just wanted you to be happy, and Chicago made you happy, so I didn’t interfere. And all the Bellas wanted me to take this opportunity so I did. And it was a perfect way to move onto the next chapter.”

“We’re not... together anymore. Chicago and I.”

It was Beca’s time to be taken aback, “What?”

“I didn’t really work out. He’s a great guy, don’t get me wrong, but he would have been working away from home a lot and I barely know him already so that’s... not what I want.”

“I’m sorry, Chloe.”

The redhead moved to Beca, clutch left behind resting on the flat of the ledge so she had two delicate hands free. And they reached for the hands across from her, pulling them closer and making Beca turn to face her, “What I’m trying to say is... that chapter? It didn’t start for me when we left Spain, but it ended on a cliffhanger when I heard your song. And I don’t know what the next one is going to be.”

And they were both so close. As close as Chloe had pulled her on hood night all those years ago, but this time Chloe’s eyes were red and puffy and there was a million things swimming within them that Beca had only dreamt about seeing half of. And just when she thought she was used to all the ways Chloe could make her feel...

Clear music erupted from the door behind them. Chloe pulled away, turning away from whoever it was that interrupted them and regaining her composure.

“Beca! We’ve been looking everywhere for you; we need you for the speech,” Theo said, his British accent grating Beca’s neck moreso than usual, “Come on, you’re already late.”

“Two seconds. Just two, I’ll be with you soon. Just... tell them I’m coming.” “We can’t, Beca, we’re already running late,” he replied, holding the door open. “Dude, I was having a moment!” she near yelled and she heard a chuckle from the side of her. She turned to Chloe.

“You should go. I’ll be fine. Don’t want to keep them waiting any more, Miss Hotshot Artist,” the redhead said, eyes twinkling still but the smile she offered not quite reaching them.

“I don’t care. They can wait, but you can’t. I won’t make you,” Beca whispered, even over the music, so that only they could hear. And she cupped the bottom of Chloe’s jaw, thumbs stroking damp cheeks before pulling her close and pressing lips together. And Chloe? Chloe was everything Beca had imagined her to be. Soft, gentle, perfect. Her perfume smelled divine. She could smell the sweet scent of her hair as it danced into her senses and enveloped her completely.

And before she knew it, Chloe’s arms were wrapped across her shoulders, the crook of her elbow pulling her body closer by the neck. They were pressed so close. So close like when they sleep but this time they were both so awake and vibrant and alive.

Chloe pulled away and Beca craved to follow but the redhead pressed delicate fingers against her lips, “You’ve done enough. I can wait ten more minutes. Go and knock ‘em dead, Becs.”

The brunette couldn’t be beaming brighter if she tried. She pressed a gentle kiss against Chloe’s fingers and pulled away, making her way to the door. She didn’t escape without a pat on the ass from the redhead, though.

And whatever the rest of this chapter had, Beca thought, it was going to even more brilliant.

#bechloe #beca mitchell #chloe beale #bechloe fanfiction #pitch perfect #prompt #this is kind of old but im like #super happy with it #writing #my writing #our little universes

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deep-sea-skiving · 5 years ago

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Pink Floyd- Another Brick in The Wall Pt. 2.

Pink Floyd has always been one of my all-time favourite bands. This is largely due not to the actual music but the lyrics. Pink Floyd can tackle prominent social issues through their lyrics in such a beautiful but highly harsh way, allowing the listener to really comprehend the complex societal issues occurring during that time period. These lyrics even though written 40 plus years ago are still incredibly relevant with many of the issues discussed such as heighten consumerism and the effects of alienation due to increasing individualisation being even more prevalent in today’s modern society than ever before. Though most Walters written Floyd albums do deliberate these issues, no other album tackles these issues so strongly like The Wall which was originally released on the 30th of November 1979. So, I thought that in this blog post I would discuss some of the sociological aspects of Pink floyd’s first and only Number one, Another brick in the wall part 2.

‘We don’t need no thought control’

Education is one of the many ways’ society can control its members into conformity and docility. It is a form of secondary socialisation, which means that its primary function is to teach younger members of society the already established, approved norms and values of society. If everyone internalises and accepts the same norms, values and beliefs which they are taught at an early age at school, this helps to maintain value consensus and social solidarity in society. Society can then therefore, continue to function without the issue of conflict which would create instability and in the worst case scenario, anomie (sense of normlessness). If you’re interested in this I recommend reading Emile Durkheim’s Moral Education (1925) https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=emile+Durkheim+moral+education&oq=emile+Durkheim+moral+edu. However, Emile Durkheim’s position on the socialisation aspects of education is perhaps too rose tinted. Whose norms and values are the young being socialised into, is it society’s or is it those powerful enough to control society? Some would argue that the purpose of education is to spread the ideology of the bourgeoise. The Marxist sociologist Louis Althusser stated that the education system is a form of ideological state apparatus similar to religion and the family. It seeks to indoctrinate and spread the ruling class’s ideology and to prepare the working class to accept their own exploitation as their own fault. We can see this through the myth of meritocracy (Bowles and Gintis, Schooling in Capitalist America 1976). In another brick in the wall part 2 this Marxist perspective is obvious especially in the movie adaptation. Pink is punished for writing poetry a form of free expression when he should off be copying from the board, a form of a repetitive, mind numbing, thoughtless task mirroring what will be the type of tasks in the workplace and what type of behaviour is deemed acceptable. The education system for Pink is trying to limit his creativity through punishment as once you start to think for yourself you will break out of your false consciousness. You’ll start to disrupt, break down and challenge the system (See the work of Karl Marx especially Alienation and Capital).

Socialising and controlling the thoughts of the young through the education system will allow the ruling class to create an obedient workforce who will not question their dominance and control. Allowing them to continue treating the working class as objects, a means to an end, a profit generating device.

‘Wrong, do it again! Wrong do it again!’

With the marketisation of the education system, learning and understanding has taken a back seat to profit and exams. Education is more focused with repetition and memory than actual awareness of what is being taught. Students are taught to pass a particular exam not to fully understand and learn. The education system teaches students to think inside the box, not outside it. If pupils do think inside the box even if it is a valid point, they’ll get punished for it as it wasn’t one of the approved answers on the mark scheme The system does not reward creativity, individuality or new ways at looking at existing problems and questions. Consequently, the system is based upon repetition and memory and if you’re ‘wrong’ then you need to do it again and again and again, till you’re deemed ‘right’.

‘We don’t need no education’

The one line that is the most controversial and radical. Is Walters calling for the abolishment of a whole social institution of which there is still many positive aspects and functions which it performs? I don't think so. I feel Walters is calling for a revolution, a reform in the ways the education system operates and how learning is achieved. We don’t need no poor quality education, we need better education which encourages autonomy and freedom of expression. Which allows people to fulfil their own chosen purpose and not what society has determined them to do. However, since the release of The Wall in 1979 little has changed in the UK education system. Exams and success in exams determines everything, creativity has been stunted for uniformed intelligence and with the continuing cuts to music, art, drama and physical education budgets there is little in the way for pupils to express themselves freely. Inevitably, this may lead to many building their own walls just like Pink.

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 5 years ago

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Should I Stay or Should I Go? (The Eighties Blasts Collection, Part 11.)

Description: Jim Hopper died as a hero. But with that, one certain problem rises up - who will now lead the cops of Hawkins? Hopper thought of that - he decided to write a letter, naming his niece, nineteen-year-old student of Indianapolis police academy, Y/N Hopper as a sheriff deputy in a letter. But anybody in the town doesn’t have a clue that being a cop in Hawkins is way more dangerous than it might seem.

Part Summary: Hopper Jr. is now going through a slight life crisis - she is hunted down by a Shapeshifter, he cabin is out of use and to plan something with the dinguses around is basically impossible.

A/N: I just wanted to have a few minutes to catch a breath and to let Hopper have a bit of fun with the boys. Chapter inspired by You're a Fighter along with Boys and Girls from the Stranger Things 3 original score by Kyle Dixon and Michael Stein.

Word Count: 5.6 K

Tagging: @charmed-asylum @nemodoren

Master list: The Eighties Blast Collection

The following morning was stressful and crazy, to say the least. Steve might have a day off from the video shop, but he still had to pretend that you're not in his room and that everything is just right and as it's supposed to be. He almost accidentally told his mom a few times. That was like walking on thin ice. He let you borrow some more of his clothes, making a promise that he'll stop in your cabin with you to take some of your clothes.

He unlocked the door to his bedroom once his parents left the house - you were just sitting on his bed in his sweats and an old t-shirt, reading through one of his magazines. You already sneaked through the whole room, looked at the photos of him and the kids, your personal favorites were the ones with Dustin, one with Robin where they were... Extremely close, you looked at his books that were just covered up in dust and his collection of movies. You even found a small photo album, clearly as old as the time, hidden under his pillow.

There were mainly photos of small boy Steve where he was just incredibly cute - messy hair, always dirty from the mud that was outside, in his baseball outfit. Then there was little Stevie walking his bike... And a picture of him and Nancy hugging, which wasn't that old. Were they... Dating before? But on the same page, there was a picture of you, hugging Steve with a big, toothless smile - that was the fourth of July and you were making yourself apples in caramel. You could remember that he was much taller than you when you were both just kids. His mom took you both there since Hopper had to stay at the station until eleven in night.

That night, the thing at Barb's treehouse happened. That memory made you chuckle as well.

But when Steve opened up the door, you were just casually laid down on the bed you've tidied up and you slowly turned your head to look at Harrington.

“Well, the house is empty, come out and do as you please. Brush your teeth, have a shower, have some breakfast, just like if you were at your place.” - Steve invited you into the house with a warm smile. When you walked into the hall, you were surprised. The inside of the house hasn't changed a bit since you were little. There was still a ton of photos of small Steve - there was still even the one where you, Nance, Johnathan and Steve were trick or treating for the first time ever. It was so embarrassing that it actually made you chuckle a bit.

"Eggs, bagels, Eggos?" - Steve yelled at you from the kitchen, making you jump a bit as you freaked out. - "Triple-Decker Eggos Extravaganza?" - You snorted and reminded Steve of the tower of unhealthy sweets put into one mash-up. Hopper never bought you a cake for your birthday - but he always made a tower of Eggo waffles, whipped cream, jelly beans bought on the gas station, Hershey's kisses and Reese's pieces. You loved it. And usually, you invited friends and he made Extravaganza for each of them to celebrate your big day.

"I don't think I can cook you such a masterpiece." - Steve said with a chuckle, leaning into the fridge to look what's in store.

"I had exactly this suspicion since you told me that you'll cook me something. Who's a chief who doesn't know how to cook a good Extravaganza?" - You said jokingly, pouring yourself a glass of milk. - "Eggs and some bagel will do, then."

"Right. Hop into the shower, do you want some fresh clothes?" - Steve asked and leaned into the fridge to get some eggs. You shook your head, leaving him all alone in the kitchen. You could remember that Steve was less than a bad cook back in your day - you just hoped that he finally learned how to cook. When you got out of the shower, the house smelled... Nice. It didn't smell like the whole house is on fire.

And when you got down to the table, you were rather pleasantly surprised - Steve was already eating and watching the news. There was a second plate which was surely for you. Mashed eggs were formed into a smiling face along with a few strips of bacon, two fresh bagels were leaned into the plate and a cup of fresh coffee was served along with your glass of milk.

"I didn't know how you like your coffee, so it's basically just colored water." - Steve smiled at you. He was clothed as well - having a pair of jeans and a polo shirt. He was looking like a million bucks and you, sitting there with your hair not combed, dressed in a t-shirt that was saying Go-Hawkins-Go!, clearly supporting local baseball team, and your jeans muddy from the yesterday's incidents, looked like a horrendous monster, to say the least.

"This is too nice of you. Thank you so, so much." - You smiled and Steve just smiled back before turning back to the TV once again.

"They already informed about Mrs. Duffer. They said that there's a killer set loose and it awaits their next victim. Poor people." - Steve said a bit ironically, looking right into his plate. You nodded and furrowed. - "We'll catch up with Dustin and Mike today. Lucas and Max went on a trip, Nance is at university and Robin is on her shift. I already told Dustin via radio, he said he'll tell Mike. But first, before we start to plan an ambush, we need to see the people who went missing in the last... Month."

"An ambush? You're calling it an ambush?" - You asked unbelievably whole you shoved some eggs down your throat. You were almost grinning. You were hunting down a Shapeshifter. And they were calling the whole plan an ambush? They were such children.

"We obviously need to lay out a trap, because I and other dinguses can't beat it on our own." - Steve said and you started to laugh since it was getting more and more ridiculous.

"Sure, Harrington, sure." - You stopped after a while and took a sip of your milk. - "I think that I'm afraid for my whole life, but I'm trying to hide all of under the surface and then I look mentally ill."

"Hopper was more and more aggressive and ironic - the closer the Demogorgon got close, the rougher he was. Or, that's what I always thought. Everyone has their tactics to stand against dangers and threats. Or Demogorgons for that matter." - The boy on the opposite side of the table said and then, he got up to wash the plate. Hopper. The typical American tough guy who tried to act the toughest he could.

In reality, you hadn't met anyone more loveable who would've had a bigger heart than he had. He was the typical family guy - man dressed up in denim jeans, flannel shirt with a beard. The man from your local family ad. But yeah, you knew that he could be short with his temper, like when he was helping you to build your first kite (he broke it four times) or when someone was laughing at you just because you didn't have such nice dresses and played baseball in your fifth grade. Or when you had your first argument over boys when you got to puberty. Yeah, he was short with his temper, but he calmed down rather quickly and tried to win you over with ice cream and chocolate.

But to see him stand up against a monster? You knew for sure that you didn't have a chance to get to know this Hopper. But you somehow got the feeling that you'll be the same person when it comes to action.

You left the Harrington residence before it was nine o'clock - Steve insisted on taking you in his car since it was newer, fresher and not so far. He also was making sure that you won't leave him standing somewhere in the city. First, you drove to your cabin to pack some clothes, including a few t-shirts, jeans, sweats and a lot of sweatshirts and underwear.

You and Steve still had to think through how will he tell his mom why woman underwear can be found in his dirty clothes, but he just said that you shouldn't be worrying about that since you had bigger problems. Thank God, Shapeshifter couldn't be seen - it wasn't watching you, it wasn't hiding in the cabin, you were alone and safe.

Then, Steve drove you to the police station and parked on the small parking lot. He bought himself a cup of coffee from Dunkin' Donuts and listened to the songs on the radio, watching the surroundings.

You were in a completely different position - you walked inside the station, but you were visibly nervous. To cover the bruise on your forearm, you put on a long-sleeved turtleneck, covering it in Steve's Go-Hawkins-Go! t-shirt. Flo almost instantly noticed that you're pale and trembling the hell out.

"You look awful, darling. What are you doing here?" - She stood up and smoothed your face lightly. You smiled at her, pouring yourself a glass of water.

"I'm... I'm good. I need to speak with Stanford and to... Search through some cases." - You looked at her and then sat on the opposite side of the table, looking at her in the eyes. - "I think I found out something that links all the missing persons."

"So you want to copy the folds?" - Flo rose her eyebrows and you completely stiffed for a few seconds, thinking about everything. - "You're so much alike, darling. Hopper was just like you when he was younger - copying folds and cases, photos and notes, sitting at home in the evening and thinking about it. He fell in love with his job since the day he started here. I won't tell Stanford if you promise me that you won't show anyone else."

"I promise I won't, Flo. Please, bring me copies of the missing person from last month and Mrs. Duffer's case. I will talk to Stanford in the meantime." - You smiled at the old lady, exhaling out loud. You were lucky that Flo knew both you and Hopper. She was there when Jim started his job as a normal police officer until the moment he became the chief. And she was there even when you started there as well.

Then, when Flo disappeared in the back for the files, you knocked on your boss's door. Before you disappeared inside, Anderson gave you a begging look. You knew what was going on - he sent you to the site, he gave you the case, he was the cop responsible for what happened to you.

But you rose your fingers holding the glass and gave him a slight smile along with a small nod - he could be sure that he's safe. You didn't plan to tell Stanford that he sent you there.

"Good morning, chief." - You stuck your head inside when Stanford invited you. One look at you and immediately, Stanford could say that you're sick.

"Good morning Miss Hopper. I will immediately say that you're here to take a few days off?" - Stanford stood up and moved a chair so you could sit on it. - "I mean it, Hop. You look awful."

"Oh, yeah, that's why I'm here, definitely." - You said almost immediately in response, nodded and took another sip from the glass. - "I think I caught some cold, I almost didn't get up from bed, my muscles hurt... I need to visit the doctor's."

"You don't look good at all, Hopper. Take a week or two off. You were doing so well, it's alright to occasionally take a few days off. You're a good cop." - Stanford stood up and leaned his ass into his desk, watching you. You slowly nodded, giving him a slight smile. - "That's a deal, then. Give me a call once you feel fine. We'll miss you. What about your tests? How does that go?"

"First grades of this year were straight As, so I'm hoping to keep the score, sir. I hope you write me a good review." - You joked around and laughed. You sat in the office for a few minutes, so Flo should have the papers copied already. So slowly, you got up and smiled at Stanford, who was still watching as you were leaving.

"You can be sure, Hopper. You're a great addition to our team, so why would I do you any harm? See you when you'll feel good." - He waved at you lightly and turned around to look at the paperwork on his desk. Two weeks. Fourteen days. That was enough to catch the Shapeshifter in your opinion.

Flo secretly passed you a fold full of freshly copied papers that were still warm. So Hopper was doing the same things? He was taking the work home?

Sure, sometimes you saw him thinking over a case while he smoked a cigarette at home in the evening when he couldn't fall asleep, but this must've happened way often. What was Hopper's life like without you? Were you really that much like your uncle?

It took you ten minutes - to get the files and to talk out a holiday with Stanford. Steve was surprised since he parked literally a few seconds ago since he took you a coffee and a few donuts at Dunkin' Donuts.

"You're done already? I thought that they'll be having you there at least for twenty minutes." - Steve told you when you sat beside him. You furrowed and looked at him. - "Cops are so serious all the time, so I'd say that they are doing the administrative a seriously long time. That was an attempt to be funny." - Steve protected his ass with this excuse while he gave you his cup of coffee and started the engine again.

"You're joking about my profession, Steven. Don't forget that I can still kick you goddamn ass in an instance. I'm only playing sick for fourteen days." - You took a sip from your cup, unbelievably gazing out of the window. He was playing on thin ice.

"I was joking, Hopper, I was joking. Calm down. Don't forget where you're living now." - Steve looked at you while you were waiting on the green light, while Queen were playing in the car.

"Oh, I can live at Mike Wheeler's basement, can't I?" - You answered ironically, taking another sip. Jesus, that coffee was delicious. Steve knew what he was buying. He mumbled something like You totally can live with Mike, I dare you to. - "But really, is fourteen days enough?"

"Sure, more than enough. It took only a week to find the Mindflayer and to discover a super-secret Russian base underneath the mall in the summer and most of the time, I was wearing that Scoops Ahoy uniform. And I was looking like a million bucks." - Steve answered from his focused gaze watching the street in front of the car. He leaned his head towards you, motioning you to give him a sip.

"This is extremely dangerous and as a cop, I don't like this whole situation at all." - You need to say that you giggled, while Steve tried to drive straight but drink coffee at the same time. You just liked that boy, he could be funny at times.

"But it's hilarious. My favorite trick. Ladies are going crazy from this." - Steve gave you a big smile and you just rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your coffee.

The car stopped in front of Wheeler's residence ten minutes before ten o'clock. But you weren't getting out of his car - instead, he took his donuts and coffee and looked at you. - “Well, take the radio from under your seat and call Dustybun.”

“You can't do that on your own, Harrington?” - You mumbled and almost threw your cup of coffee at Steve, almost spilling out his. You found the radio, which was pretty messy - there were pieces of food stuck on it, a clear stain from coffee and... Oh, Lord, what was the last thing? Did you want to know? - “This is just fucking disgusting.”

“Shut up and call Dustin before I let go of at least one of the cups.” - Steve mumbled, barely holding everything in his hands. You slowly exhaled and pushed the buttons on the radio.

“Dustin? Hopper here. Do you copy?” - You asked, watching Mike's house, but then you turned your head to look at Steve and it was way more interesting. His balancing was on point, you needed to admit.

“Yeah. Why do you have Steves radio?” - Dustin asked with a true interest in his voice, but you just turned the radio again and chuckled. - “Don't worry about that douche, he's here and he's trying to impress me.”

“Is he?” - Dustin asked back, but it didn't sound like a joke at all. But Steve just panicked, leaned to the radio and gave you a short look. You rather turned the radio and put it to Steve's lips. - “You tell another word and your ass is grass, you're dead Handerson, do you copy?” - Steve hissed into the radio. Dustin just hummed in response. - “Now tell little Wheeler to move his little tush and open up the door, or I'll let go of two cups of coffee which weren't exactly the cheapest. Copy, over and kill.”

After that, you sat there with your lips parted, having a daring smile on your lips. - “All right, okay. What was that, Harrington? Are you threatening a small kid?”

“No, I just politely told him to mind his own damn business. Will, you be so nice and take your things already?” - Steve almost threw your pack at you and you were just laughing when you got off the car. Mike stood there already, waving at both of you.

“You have everything?” - Mike asked, leading you to his basement. At that moment, Karen came to look at what's happening. She was rather surprised to see both of you standing in the hall of your room.

“Hopper? Steve? What you're doing here?” - She went to hug you in a mother-like way, smiling at the both of you. Mike just widened his eyes and he was about to protest, but you knew your way with parents. Your parents, Mike's parents, Hopper - you knew your way.

“We would like to go camping for a weekend with the kids. Since anyone else is in the town, Nancy is at school and Robin isn't available, we just have an early meeting, to sketch our schedules, like when I should have a weekend off, and these, you know, it is a lot to plan.” - You chuckled. You spoke so calmly and everyone in the room just bought you the story. Even these two who knew you're just blatantly lying were buying it.

“Yeah, yeah.” - Mike nodded, being overly dramatic. - “We want to go camping with Steve, Hopper, Robin, and Nance. Maybe having Jonathan and Will would be really nice, so, we really have to go and... Talk.”

“Yeah. It was my idea originally.” - Steve said proudly while Mike continued on his way to the basement door. You just grabbed his jacket and dragged him behind Mike. - “You wish to come up with an idea like this.” - Karen only grinned and walked back to the kitchen.

“Dustin, you should've seen it. Y/N just thought a lie on the spot and it was so good that my mom believed all of it.” - Mike said to Dustin and sat down on an old couch. It was messy and smelled funny, but you didn't say a word. - “I didn't know that cops can lie as you do.”

“It was good, all honor to you, Hopper.” - Steve showed you a thumb up and took a bite of a chocolate donut. You sat next to Dustin, saying hi to him.

“You think of me as of a cop, but you all forget that Jim Hopper was my uncle and almost something like a dad.” - You grinned at Steve. - “I had to come up with sorts of crazy apologies and lies. But I think that Hopper knew about each one of them.”

Then you actually got to the unpacking of the fold Flo printed out for you. There were six people gone missing in the spawn of the last month - old Mrs. Duffer and that boy Alex. You put those ones away since you thought that Shapeshifter won't take their looks again.

There were two men from the nearby factory who got lost on the same day, but really, you found it improbable that the Shapeshifter would take out two men at once. The last two people was a girl around Mike and Dustin's age and a man, who looked like he will climb out of the picture and will eat you alive.

Just when you establish on who did you thought could be really killed by the Shapeshifter and who just got lost or decided to leave. You were left with the young girl, killed Mrs. Duffer and Alex, the small boy.

But everyone was still a suspect.

Karen brought you lunch down to the basement when you were sitting there for two hours already. It was a plate of grilled chicken breasts with vegetables and potatoes. And it was totally delicious.

While you were eating, there was time to finally discuss the ambush as Steve called it. Mike Wheeler had surprised you with an amount of knowledge about ambushes and Demogorgons in general.

"We have to take it somewhere where we know it and where we're sure about what we're going to do. We can't let it take play the surprise card." - Mike said with his mouth full. Your gaze wandered around as you chewed grilled meat. To be honest, you kinda didn't know what they were talking about at all. You've never hunted down a Demogorgon, you've never seen it in action, you've never fought against it.

"He means that we have to know our surroundings - it would be truly a dumbass move to take it to the woods or somewhere out there, where our hands are tied and we're practically blind. Knowing your surroundings does a lot." - Dustin explained what Mike had said to you and you hummed back in response. That made sense.

"What if we take it somewhere where we've already fought it?" - Steve tried to say something meaningful to the subject.

"Hopper wouldn't be glad if we would break her cabin like we did in the summer, we've already rampaged the public pool, we've fought it in Will's house, in the wood, the car graveyard and who can forget Starcourt?" - Mike started to list on his fingers, looking Steve in the eyes.

"You mean school?" - Dustin asked Steve. Steve clearly didn't mean school, but it made him appear smart, so he slowly nodded, testing the waters. - "Mike, that's actually a good idea. I knew you were smart sometimes, Steve!" - Dustin stood up and Steve truly didn't know if he should be offended or complimented. - "It's not too hard to get into the school in the evening, we'll just beg mister Clarke to borrow us his keys to the radio room. Hopper will act as the responsible adult who will promise to stay there with us after closing hours. She's a cop, so no-one will question it."

"And I'm not a responsible adult?" - Steve asked offendedly, looking at Dustin, who just giggled right into Steve's face.

"Steve, you're everything but adult and responsible. On the other hand, you're the best babysitter that Hawkins's basketball team has ever seen." - Dustin patted Steve's shoulder in a friendly way, but you furrowed as a new wave of insecurity rose inside of you. Your silent voice practically muted down the bickering between Steve and Dustin.

"What if it won't work along?" - You asked silently, but even if the question didn't sound like it had too much sense in it. Everyone just questioned it while you straightened up. - "What if it's not after me? What if I and Mr. Mom here wrong and it was just a coincidence that it found me. It maybe isn't out to hunt me down. Maybe it's just hunting down literally anyone that crosses their path."

Everyone shut up for a moment and looked somewhere in the distance. That was a valid question and an argument that had an actual point.

"We need to test the theory out, I guess." - Dustin said quietly and Mike looked at him.

"No. No. No. No. I know that look, dickheads and yeah, that's a no." - Steve said loudly, standing up, laughing almost unbelievably. No-one else was laughing though. You didn't know what was going on and even if the boys did know what was going on, they weren't laughing at all.

Steve stood up, put his palms on his lips and swiftly licked his lips, looking at every one of you. - "And there's too little of us to stand against that. No. Don't ever bring that up again."

"Calm down, Harrington, she doesn't even know that we talked about her." - Mike looked at you and you just rose your eyebrows. You truly didn't have a clue that the boys were talking about you.

"What does that have something to do with me? Why are you standing? Sit the hell down, babysitter." - Your palm tugged Steve's denim jacket to sit down, while you let Mike and Dustin speak their minds.

"There was the first Demogorgon two years ago. It dragged Will to the Upside Down and it had eaten Barb. But Nancy and Jonathan figured out that the Demogorgon is something like a shark. It senses blood from miles away - they cut their palms to attract it. It worked the last time at least..." - Mike told you quietly and you just looked at your palm, opening and closing it once or twice.

"So you want me to cut my palm so we could to lure the monster inside the school?" - You asked worriedly. - "What if it doesn't work? What will we do then?"

"That's why we need to test it out, Hopper. That's when the old car graveyard can come on handy. We can use the bus as a barricade again." - Dustin mumbled, visibly surprised by the brightness of his plan.

"The Shapeshifter is smart. Perhaps even intelligent. It uses tactics, and not just hunting ones. It tried to scare me when I was in my cabin, it tapped on the windows, scratched it." - You looked at the boys and licked your lips. - "What I'm trying to say is that it probably won't just fall for the trap that easily."

"We'll be prepared. There will be Lucas, Max, I and Dustin, you and Steve. Maybe even Nance and Robin. And that's eight people against one Shapeshifter - at both school and the car graveyard. We stand a fair chance." - Mike said and you actually believed him that he believes that you can really make it. - "And if it's smart, just like you're saying, Hopper, it will run away from the graveyard. It will definitely know that it's in danger."

You looked at Steve without pretty much nothing in your face. Steve didn't agree, not a bit, but at least he sat back on his damn ass. - "It's a good idea, Harrington. You've been there with me, maybe the Shapeshifter is after both of us?"

"Nice try, but I'll gladly stay out of your trouble. But, if you want to test it out, I guess we're testing it out." - Steve agreed with you, but you could say it doesn't bring him any happiness.

"Yeah. Let's plan this whole thing out, shall we?" - You asked the boys and took a small notebook and a pen which was Mike giving you.

Both you and Steve alongside Dustin were leaving the Wheeler's residence just half an hour before five o'clock and half an hour before Steve's parents came home and you had to be locked in his room. Two pictures were hanging just above the driver's seat, so you always saw the faces of the two lost persons.

Slowly, you drove Dustin home and after that, Steve drove you both to his home. He helped you with the bag to your room, you hid the file in your room and he locked you inside as he went to greet his parents.

In Mike Wheeler's house, there was everyone already sitting at the table, including Nancy and Ted. Karen was looking at Mike, her eyes constantly running back to him and then to Holly. Until Mike asked her what's up with her.

"I was thinking about Jim's goddaughter and Steve." - Karen tried to think about how to slowly lean into the subject she was interested in.

"What about them?" - Mike asked back annoyedly, playing with his food, looking at Nance. She was truly surprised that her mom has seen you together. Mike told her that you were there to have a small meeting, talking about the Demogorgon, but what the hell did your mom see?

"I just think they're looking really nice together, that's all. Are they dating?" - Karen casually asked from serving the fresh salad on her plate, having a contented smile on her face. Nancy and Mike looked at each other, prepared to defend your name if they found it necessary.

"I'm sure they aren't." - Nancy said and took a sip of her lemonade. - "If they were dating, Steve wouldn't be able to shut his mouth about it."

"Yeah, I think so." - Mike agreed with his older sister immediately - they were able to be a great team when the situation demanded them to be one.

You, at the same time, were sitting on the floor of Steve's floor when the lock suddenly unlocked. You hoped that it's Steve with some food, but instead, Mrs. Harrington walked in first followed by Steve. At least, she was holding a plate of food, putting it on Steve's desk.

You immediately stood up and your cheeks reddened when you thought about what you're going to say to Mrs. Harrington. But she just smiled at you, waving you off.

"Steve already told me what happened. I didn't know that deers can have rabies or that they're so aggressive during it. I heard it broke your door in the early morning?" - She stood up and looked at you. The worst thing about all of this was that she was deadly serious.

So, Steve thought that deers could catch rabies. And he obviously told his mom that deer which caught rabies is why you're practically living in their house. And she believed it. That boy was either a total genius or a complete, utter idiot.

"Oh, yes. It suddenly just speeded into my door and broke the wood in half, so... I need to buy another door." - You nodded and fidgeted your fingers on your belly. Mrs. Harrington looked at Steve for a while and then she waved him off and shut the door.

"Or, if it is because you feel alone there, honey, you can talk to me." - She hummed, gently soothed your cheek and caught your palms in hers. - "I know it's been a lot and that living on your own isn't funny. You have anyone to talk to, you woke up and it's empty and when you go to sleep, it's also empty." - That was true. It was awfully empty at the times you were just coming home from work. You sat down on the armchair, took the leftovers from lunch and subconsciously waited on Hopper. You usually slept in the armchair, waiting for your godfather to open the door and come in.

"No, it's just rabies. I'll just get the window repaired and buy a new door and then I'll come back to my cabin. I'll be here for a week if I can." - You smiled back and she nodded. - "Thank you for your hospitality. It means so much to me."

"As for that... Dean still doesn't know you're here and it would probably be better if it stays this way until you move back. It's silly, I know, but Dean would not understand as I and Steve do.” - She told you and hugged your shoulders with one arm and you let her. - “And if anything happens, if you need something, just call me Catherine, alright?”

After that, she left you in the room and Steve walked in with the glass of lemonade which Mrs. Harrington served you.

“I need to tell at least my mom since she does the laundry and she would notice that the food would disappear.” - Was one of the last things Steve had told you that night.

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