#the roo and magpie sitcom

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roo: i got a Hot Boi me: cool, i sliced my wrist up in a dumpster

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me: we're trying to think of obscure memes at 4 am

randi: specificially we're trying to match memes to bleach characters, at 4 am

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while i was bleaching my hair i was talking to randi abt my fucked up towel i put on my back to keep the bleach off since its bad for the skin and they go "its bad for your heart too" and i just stared at them

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[6:48:06 PM] neptune the useless homosexual: hey so : ) [6:48:10 PM] neptune the useless homosexual: on the ride back to ky [6:48:14 PM] neptune the useless homosexual: i thought of something [6:48:17 PM] k₩₩₩on jiyong: n o [6:48:24 PM] neptune the useless homosexual: : ) [6:48:28 PM] k₩₩₩on jiyong: nno o [6:48:31 PM] k₩₩₩on jiyong: N o [6:48:33 PM] k₩₩₩on jiyong: non

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[11:41:24 AM] neptune the useless homosexual: IM GONNA FIGHT FUCKING IDOLS THAT THINK THEYRE CUTE AND FUNNY, A DOCUMENTARY BY ROO AND MAGPIE [11:41:43 AM] k₩₩₩on jiyong: THESE ARE OUR REAL QUEER ADVENTURES [11:41:55 AM] k₩₩₩on jiyong: FLYING ACROSS THE COUNTRY TO FUCKIGN FIGHT SOME KOREAN BOYS [11:42:24 AM] neptune the useless homosexual: THE QUEER PART COMES IN WHEN WE KISS THEIR STUPID BANDAIDS TO MAKE THEM FEEL BETTER BUT REALLY WE'RE JUST HEALING THEM TO FIGHT THEM AGAIN [11:42:35 AM] k₩₩₩on jiyong: RLLY THO

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roo was talking about eating my bananas and i confessed i ate two of their zingers and then we got into an argument and roo just kept going 'YOU ATE MY ZINGERS' and then we got into an argument about the bananas and roo confessed they dont take them for breakfast because they have a hard time opening bananas and i fucking LOST IT and just as i stood up from leaning over the sink wheezing/laughing roo went "big anime titties"

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someone asked on our floor if we can decorate our doors for halloween and our RA said no, but we can decorate our name things outside our door

roo and i have blue and orange owls respectively

and we're gonna use construction paper and pens and make ichigo and grimmjows hair and their swords and tape it to our owls 

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"gay bleach memes" 

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me and roo buying matching g-dragon and t.o.p. letterman jackets more like SYNCHRONIZED KPOP GAYS

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roo just got here and i had to kill the spider

seems our rolls have been set

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[4:35:17 PM] magpie: its like in the 90s or something why is this happening [4:36:47 PM] roo: bc we live in kentucky [4:37:31 PM] magpie: god damn it lincoln [4:37:40 PM] roo: om g [4:38:00 PM] roo: instead of thanks obama when things happen can we just go 'thanks lincoln' [4:38:15 PM] magpie: OH MY GO D [4:38:29 PM] magpie: OR 'THANKS HENRY CLAY' [4:38:32 PM] roo: fRICk [4:38:39 PM] roo: 'THANKS ABRAHAM'

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roo and i are the classic example of friends that could be confused for cousins or queer lovers 

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"im laughing but im crying" a summary of mine and roo's interactions