#the reverse batmanning tag took me OUT

[maya-caffrey]

Batman, Jerusha, and Eduardo

summary: a Deadpool, tasm!Peter, and Loki crossover crack fic. Wade, Peter 3, and Reader end up at the TVA in the aftermath of the events of Spiderman: No Way Home. Now what?

words: 5.1k

pairing: tasm!peter x reader (comedy, fluff)

warnings: language, desecration of canon, this is a crack fic; there is not an ounce of seriousness.

a/n: Y'all, I wrote this in 2022, sometime after No Way Home had been released. this is a repost as I deleted my writing blog that had the original. hope you like it!

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“Y/n, are you sure about this?”

“As sure as I am that a talking raccoon sent me a message on Snapchat about a couple of days ago from space, Peter.”

“Ok, am I supposed to know what any of that means because you look like you said something that makes absolute sense and-”

“Yes, I’m sure. I’m sure. On 3. 1, 2- I SAID ON 3” 

“I PANICKED, WHAT DO WE DO NOW”

“LOOK FOR A DOOR” 

“WHY ARE WE STILL SCREAMING”

“I DON’T KNOW”

“GUYS, SHUT UP, WE’RE GOING TO DIE” 

An undetermined period of time earlier

After Strange reversed the spell, Y/n figured she’d be forgetting the entire thing. After all, that’s how these things work. Once Peter’s identity was revealed, y/n did everything in her power to make sure he didn't get in trouble. It’s the least she could do for her fellow avenger. The last week was exhausting, to say the least. She got home and settled on her couch and just when she thought she could have some peace and quiet, a huge translucent block appeared in the middle of her living room. And people walked out of it. People. In some weird armored uniform with huge holiday sparkler thingies. Instinctively, y/n took her emergency gun from under the couch and began to aim. 

“What the f-”

“It’s a standard sequence violation. Branch is growing at a slow and stable slope. Variant Identified.” 

“Dude, who are you? And what are you doing in my living room?” her grip on the gun began to become tighter. 

“On behalf of the Time Variance Authority, I hereby arrest you for your crimes against the Sacred Timeline.”

“The sacred what now?”

“Hands up. You’re coming with us.”

“You wish.” Y/n began to fire at the intruders, but somehow, everything slowed down. The bullet was traveling much slower than it should, and y/n was still just as she was when she fired the gun and was moving very, very slow. Y/n wasn’t very certain if she was dreaming or not at this point. 

“You’re traveling at 1/16th the normal speed.” One of the intruders began to explain what was going on while tying some sort of strap around her neck. Y/n was in no state to pay attention to what he was saying. She was dragged through the same translucent cinderblock in her living room and found herself in a place that definitely was not her house. 

It took a couple of minutes for her to regain composure. A man was sitting at what seemed to be the reception of the place. He wore a name tag that said, Casey. On the other side of the reception, y/n saw a familiar face in a state similar to hers. Handcuffed, weird strap thingy around the neck, extremely agitated. 

“Oh, thank god, PETER 3! PETER 3 OVER HERE” 

“OH MY GOD Y/N IS THAT YOU?” They both attempted to run towards each other but ended up exactly where they started. Weird.

“With all due respect, what the fuck was that?”  Y/n asked her captor, trying her best not to add to her apparent list of crimes. 

“Sorry, company rules.”

“What is this place?” 

“You’ll see.” 

Y/n was sent inside an elevator that managed to shred every last bit of dignity she had brought with her. 

“Good lord, take me to dinner fir-SON OF A B-” y/n landed on the ground of the level below the one she was in a moment ago, now fully clothed in what seemed to be some uniform made for the supposed “criminals” these people bring in. 

A woman was sitting behind a desk with a huge stack of papers. 

“Please sign here to verify this is everything you’ve ever said.”

“Say what now?” A new sheet of paper was added to the already huge pile and y/n begrudgingly signed it. 

She was now led to a bigger room, some sort of a ticket counter place (a/n: I forgot what it’s called please bear with me) and there was a TV there with some sort of orientation video going on. Y/n took a minute to absorb her surroundings and joined the person in front of her after taking a ticket. She was the only other variant there, except for this other guy. He was wearing a red mask, black around the eyes, and a uniform similar to hers, complete with handcuffs and whatnot. Y/n wondered how they let him keep the mask. He decided to break the silence since might as well do it, seeing as they were not getting to the end of the line any soon. 

“So, you come here often?”

“Not on Sundays. Sundays are for the lord.” 

“Makes sense. I’m Batman. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I’d shake your hand but they’re busy being handcuffed.” 

“Hey, Batman. I’m Jerusha.”

“Your name is not Jerusha, is it?”

“You’re one to talk, Batman.”

“Your ticket, sir.” asked one of the guards to Batman. He handed over the ticket and was told to wait. Y/n soon joined him. A couple of minutes later, A man with a file in his hand called out “Wilson, Variant D0123 aka Wade Wilson.” 

“Well, this is my stop, try not to get pruned, Jerusha. Or you know, go ahead, I met you five minutes ago I don’t really care and-”

“Try not to get what now?” he was gone long before he could answer her. 

“Y/L/N, Variant V1016 aka Y/N Y/L/N.” A man in a brown suit showed up, holding a file with her name on it. 

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on or do I have to break your nose or something?”

“I admire your, let’s say confidence. It’s great, really. You’re in handcuffs, in a place you have no clue about, and you’re still just as you were a few hours ago. It’s brilliant. You know most people get pruned before they even get here, It’s all the adrenaline and whatnot, I-” The man started walking as he spoke and y/n figured she’ll follow. 

“Okay, hold your horses, Who are you?”

“Oh, right, sorry. I’m Mobius. I work for the TVA, I’ve been assigned your case. The TVA is-”

“Yeah I got that from Walmart Tara Strong.” y/n said, pointing to miss minutes. 

“Room 46, we’re here. So, shall we?”

“Shall we what? Ever since I got here I’ve got no clear explanation of what is going on. Can someone at this place stop assuming that I know what this is for one goddamn minute?”

“You may need to sit down for this.”

Sometime, but not too long later 

“So you’re telling me, I was supposed to get infected by some virus-”

“Symbi-”

“Symbiote about a couple days ago, but I didn’t, so I’m here?”

“Pretty much.”

“HOW IS THAT A CRIME? I BASICALLY SURVIVED, I’M SUPPOSED TO BE CELEBR-”

“Gee, calm down, calm down. It’s more than that. You getting infected and becoming Venom is a very important part of your universe. Venom basically paves the way for the next generation of your Avengers.”

“But, How? How does one person, that too me of all people, change the narrative? Because that is abs-”

“You die.”

“W-What?” 

“Venom is sort of like a parasite. It takes over you, there’s almost no getting rid of it. In most cases, it tends to bring out the best in you. The downside is, What’s best for one is not the best for everyone.” 

“I don’t understand, I wouldn’t do Anythi-”

“When you became Venom, you became basically invincible. You became so powerful even Banner wouldn’t have stood a chance. Unfortunately, Venom brought out your darkest side. It completely took over your body and mind and at one point everybody became fully aware of the fact that you’re a threat. A dangerous one at that.  Many people tried to stop you, and at one point, people stopped trying. Out of fear. The wizards had a mess of their own to deal with so even they couldn’t interfere. Finally, when worse became worst, a task force was formed to take you down. Earth’s mightiest heroes, Volume 2. You brought them together.” 

Y/n was speechless. I mean, who wouldn’t be if they realized they were just pawns in some sick space lizards’ twisted games? All her life, she only ever helped people. Or tried to. All because she thought she had to. If this “sacred timeline” is so important to the Time Keepers, then all y/n wanted to do now was to absolutely destroy it. 

There has always been a discourse of the illusion of free will. Some deny there is an illusion, some deny there is free will. Ultimately, at the end of the day, everyone moves on. But when you find out one day that you were born to do what someone wanted you to, and you only thought they were your choices, you would most definitely want to burn down everything they created. 

“Mobius, why did you tell me this?” 

“Well, you’re gonna forget most of it. And I need your help on something.”

“And what’s in it for me?”

“Not getting pruned, getting reset and back to your timeline, just how things were supposed to be.”

“So I’ll help you and you’ll send me back to die.” 

“If you put it that way, then yes, pretty much. Look, it’s the best I can do. You’ll get your life back, you won’t remember any of this.”

“I have a better idea. How about I help you, and send me back without erasing my memories?”

“It doesn’t really work that way.”

“It does now. If I go back remembering everything, I’ll create the next Avengers thing, just like I was supposed to.”

“That changes the entire timeline, it doesn’t add up.”

“And what if I don’t take the deal?”

“You get reset and sent back.”

“So it changes nothing?” 

Mobius was silent. He felt bad for her. There was no way in which he or anyone, for that matter could help her. 

“If you help me with this, we could delay your resetting. We’ll figure out a way in the meantime. Trust me. I need you for this.” 

Y/n considered his offer. It did make sense, The longer they delay it, the longer they have to think. Or at least, for her to enjoy what’s left of the rest of her days. 

“All right, I’m in. Under one condition.”

“And what is that?”

“I’m gonna need some backup.” 

Meanwhile in another room

“I swear I don’t know any Eddie Brock. Can I go now?”  They’d been at it for a while now and no matter what Peter said, the officer didn’t seem to believe him. 

“Not so fast, Peter. You were supposed to have an encounter with an Eddie Brock hours earlier. This was supposed to pave the way for the future of this universe.”

“But it’s not my universe, I have no idea what I should have done. Or did.” 

“Eddie Brock plays a very important role in this universe, but that doesn’t concern you. You were supposed to...” he trailed off like he was going to say something he was not allowed to. 

“Supposed to what? Who is this guy?”

“It’s really not that complicated. We’ll just reset you and everything will go back to normal.”

“You’re not resetting anything. None of this makes any sense.” Peter was getting more and more irritated as time went on. On top of the fact that free will is a complete lie, his spider-sense was going crazy every second. The entire place was making him feel unsafe and gave him a weird sense of nostalgia that nauseated him. The room was very silent except for their talking so he could clearly hear the person outside making their way towards the room.

“Mr. Parker, listen to me, this is different from last ti-” The door opened to reveal a couple of Hunters he had seen in the lobby earlier. 

“We have orders to escort variant P1989 to room 46. The file is being transferred to Mobius.”

The officer sighed like this was a regular activity he was growing increasingly tired of. 

“Take him away,” he said, in a tired, dull voice. 

Meanwhile in another room, because I said so 

“When do you get off from work? I know this really shitty burger place in Queens. It’s the only place I can afford. You only get paid so much for being a professional assassin. I’m kidding, it actually pays a crap ton, but nowhere near what that guy Ryan Reynolds makes. I’ve been told I look like him, but I don’t see it. Do you? Cause he is kinda hot I guess but I just don’t really get him, you know? I feel I’m more like Hugh Jackman. Hugh Jackman? Wolverine? Greatest Showman? No? What are you doing with your life, Debra?” 

“My name is Fergus. And I asked you to shut up 10 minutes ago, Wilson.” 

Fergus heard the door open and was immediately filled with relief.

“Are you here to take him? Please take him.” 

“Call me,” Wade mouthed and made a phone sign with his hands while being dragged away.  

Room 46

“Good, You’re all here. I’m Mo-”

“Has anyone ever told you you sound like Lightning McQueen?” 

“Who?” Y/N asked 

“You know, the car?”

“It’s a talking car?”

“Good lord, Eduardo, it’s a cartoon.”

“Um, my name is Peter.”

“You feel like an Eduardo. Tell him, Jerusha” 

“Now that I think about it, you do feel like an Eduardo.” 

“Come on, Eduardo? Really? I mean, Edward I can live with. Eduardo?” 

“I don’t make the rules, Ed.”

“You literally came up with my name.” 

“Did I? Really? Are we sure it’s not the Time Keepers manifesting?” 

Everyone went silent for a moment as if to reflect on what Wade said. It did make some sense. 

“Guys, focus, we don’t have time.”

“Right, sorry, Mobius, go on.” 

Mobius explained the problem and how he needed their help. 

“Ok, so, let me get this straight. You need to find this, Sylvie person, and you want us to help you?”

“Pretty much, Peter.” 

“It’s better than getting pruned or reset, I’m in.”

“Great! What about you, Batman?” 

“Well, Jerusha, I’m in, but under one condition. Eduardo has to tell me what Shampoo he’s using.” 

“It’s just uh, Head and shoulders’ men,” Peter said, with a severe expression, while rubbing his neck. 

“It’s Johnson’s baby no tears isn’t it.” Wade countered. 

“I have sensitive eyes, Wade.” Peter tried to defend himself but his now unusually high voice wasn’t helping. 

“I KNEW IT.” 

Timeskip brought to you by Harry Styles 

“Mobius, are you sure we’re in the right place?” 

“Yes, for the millionth time, I am sure it said Lamentis.” 

Y/n, Peter, Wade, and Mobius, along with a few hunters had been looking for hours, and there was no sign of Sylvie anywhere. The people there seemed to be evacuating quickly (or trying to)  due to a potential meteor that could destroy the planet. Usually, when a nexus event occurs before an apocalypse, it doesn’t count as a nexus event, but this time, it showed up on Mobius’ radar, almost like someone intentionally tipped him off. 

One thing that’s been bugging Peter, was that the TVA felt familiar. Like he had been there before. He knew that was not possible, because he would definitely remember if someone had told him choices are a lie. He could’ve sworn that the officer handling his case was about to mention that he had been there earlier before they got interrupted. There’s no way he’d forget this place. 

“I’ve learned better than to split up at sketchy places but it looks like we don’t have many options. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover.”

“Peter’s right, we’ve been at this all day, and the sooner we find her, the sooner we can get this over with. The lesser paperwork, the better.” 

Peter, Y/n, Wade, and a few hunters went in one direction, while the other hunters and Mobius went in the other. 

Peter could see that Y/n wasn’t too happy with the idea. He assumed she had second thoughts about splitting up. He made his way near to where she was. 

“Hey, Y/n, you’re gonna be okay. I’m coming with you. You’ll be fine. Trust me.” Whether he meant it or not was another thing considering they didn’t meet very long ago, but somehow he made it sound reassuring. 

Y/n smiled sympathetically. There she was, waiting for her life to unravel further, knowing that every step towards making this plan work is suicide and not having an option but to comply, and this man, a friend, with no slightest clue of what was going on with her is trying his best to give her hope, to make sure she realizes that things will work out, even when she knows the exact opposite. This small gesture made her look forward to something. What? She didn’t know either. 

“Thank you, Peter 3. It means a lot”

“You know you could call me Peter, right? I mean, I’m the only one here, so”

“Sorry, force of habit, Peter” They both smiled like they were 6-year-olds who had been offered candies. They lingered for a few seconds in each other’s gaze to let the feeling sink in, whatever it was. This was the only ray of positivity they could both find. There was something about each other that they found comforting. Was it that they were both only pieces of something they used to be a part of? Was it that they were both just as broken? 

“Now kiss.”

“Wade-What-Were you here the whole time?” 

“Way to ruin the moment, Eduardo, and yes, I was here the whole time.”

“Why were you-”

“I came to tell you lovebirds that I stole a temp pad from the TVA earlier so that we can escape this shithole that’s about to explode, but this is more interesting.” 

“And it didn’t occur to you that you should have mentioned that earlier?” 

“Well, Jerusha, I was going to escape alone, because I met you guys literally 12 hours ago, but there’s this really annoying voice inside my head and well, here I am.” 

“Teamwork at its finest.” 

“Now, do we have a plan? If we are going to ditch this place, that is. I’d really rather live with the possibility of getting pruned completely off the table.” 

“Well, we could just pull a Sylvie. We keep planet-hopping hoping no one finds us. Or we could just have our memories erased and go home,”  Wade suggested. Y/n was visibly uncomfortable at the mention of home. She wasn’t sure she even had one anymore. The word home was officially a trigger now. 

“Wait, there should be something else we can do, right? If we are running away, we can’t keep doing it forever, they’re going to catch up at some point and they won’t let us go till we get pruned or reset or worse and we can’t go home, because there’s no- we can’t- I don’t want- no, no, I don’t wanna go back, we can’t go back, Wade, we can’t-” Y/n was hyperventilating at this point. She was struggling to get words out past the heavy feeling in her chest. Her hands were trembling and sweaty and she hated it. She hated that she couldn’t make it stop. She hated that everywhere she went, death was waiting for her with a scythe and the finest of her demons. 

“Y/n, hey, hey, look at me, you’re okay. You’re okay. Look at me, we’re not going home. No one’s going home. You’re fine. I told you I’ll look out for you, right? I’ve got your back. You’re gonna be fine. You’re not going home. It’s alright. You’re alright. Everything’s fine.” Peter looked right into her eyes to make sure she knew he meant every word. His hands found hers and held them tight as if to reassure her that nothing was going to get her as long as he was there. Y/n still hadn’t found her rhythm again but she was visibly calming down. 

Y/n was a very strong person. A part of what made her strong was accepting where she needed help. She knew there was no way she was going to beat fate singlehandedly. Peter was not going to be there forever, who’s to say what’s gonna happen next, but for this moment, she will forever be grateful. 

Peter didn’t even know what was wrong or why she freaked about home, but that didn’t seem to matter to him. He was definitely curious, but he knew better than to press on a fresh wound. He wasn’t sure if it was the entire setting or the fact that she was confident enough to be vulnerable around him, but he was starting to care for her differently than he did when he met her. 

Peter let go of her hands and hugged her, and Wade joined in about 3 seconds. 

“Group hug.” 

“Wade, you’re stepping on my toes.”

“Sorry.” 

“Hey, Teletubbies. We’re running out of time,” one of the hunters called out. 

“Don’t mess with the power of friendship, Barnabus.” Wade is going to get punched in the nose one day. 

“My name is not -”

“I will milk your spleen.” 

That seemed to shut him up. They continued on their way, searching for Sylvie. Somewhere in the middle of their heart-to-heart hugging session, Y/n had come up with a plan. The way the hunters were positioned was one in front of the variants, one at the back, and two more leading the way, to prevent potential escape plans. Apparently, they suck, because no one seemed to notice when the hunter at the back end suddenly disappeared. 

Peter looked at both of them and gave nodded, which was their decided signal. 

“Oh my GOD. EDUARDO ARE YOU OKAY?”

“I don’t know, I don’t- Y/n I don’t feel so good.” Peter pretended something was wrong with his head and then he fainted. Well, fake-fainted. 

“What are you people looking at? GET HELP! HE’S DYING, GO GET HELP!” Y/n put on a show and well, the rest of get help was executed perfectly. She learned that from her friend Loki, who they were, ironically, looking for till about 15 minutes ago. 

“Ok, so, temp pad? Check. Secluded location? Check. Mobius’ wallet? Check.”

“Wade, why do you have Mobius’ wallet.”

“A lady never kisses and tells.” 

“I have no intentions of finding out what that means. So, what now, Y/n?” Peter asked.

“You’re asking me?”

“You got us so far, might as well take us not home,” he said with a smile. That smile. It radiated comfort. Y/n couldn’t help but feel warmth whenever he smiled. There were many reasons for her to give up then and there and accept defeat, but Peter made her want to fight. He made her want to live. 

“Well if we need to escape without creating a nexus event we need to wait till we’re minutes away from that meteor, so, I guess we wait.” 

They found a small canyon where they could lie low and keep an eye out for the meteor. Y/n sat in a corner thinking about the last 24 hours. Even if they had been some of the worst moments of her life, she felt like she wouldn’t mind going through this again if it meant she’d have Peter with her. In the few days she’d known him, he became her rock, her anchor. She felt terrible for not reciprocating anything in return. She didn’t feel like she owed him, no, this felt natural. Like this was meant to be.  

“Oh hey, Peter. Where’s Wade?”

“Wade said he’ll keep an eye out for anything suspicious. I think he’s singing both parts of ME! outside.”  Y/n laughed at this, and Peter could swear she was radiant. The sky in all its beauty and the planet’s Moon that could’ve put everything else to shame looked like nothing compared to her. He felt like she belonged up there, among the stars. She’d be the envy of the skies and everything else beyond. He was falling for her and he knew it. He’d known her for less than 3 days, but he had this feeling that it had been longer, it was hard to explain. This was a very familiar and yet somehow drastically different feeling. He knew there was a very good chance this may not end well, but this time, he wanted to take that chance. He was distracted from his thoughts by a curious Y/n. 

“You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you. Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“Helping me. There’s no reason for you to. You have a home somewhere and some people who need you. Why are you here? You could just get this over with and go home.” 

“That’s not true.”

“What?”

“That I have no reason. Of course, I do.” He looked at her like she was his entire world. She looked at him like she was seeing colors for the first time. She wanted to live in this moment forever. It was like they knew each other in every possible way and like they were meeting for the first time. He wanted to stay there, observing and appreciating her for as long as he could. He put a strand of her stray her behind her ear to get a good look at her. She could feel her cheeks heating up. She knew he could hear her rapid heartbeat and she hoped he would take the hint. He didn’t. 

“So, um, if you don’t mind me asking, what was your nexus event?” 

“Apparently, I was supposed to get infected by some symbiote, and, well, it’s a long story but it doesn’t look good for me.” She didn’t want to tell him that she was supposed to go on a murder spree, no, she was afraid he’d look at her differently. 

“What’s your reason?”

“Well, I supposed to meet some guy? I think. I’m not sure but it’s not nearly as cool as yours.”

“Cool? Really? Cause that was not my first thought.”

“Come on, you fight aliens and parasites. My biggest threat was a giant himbo in a rhino costume” 

“I’m sure he was terrifying.” Y/n managed to say once she was done laughing.

“He had a Hello Kitty tattoo on his shoulder that I had the misfortune of seeing.”

Y/n laughed harder and Peter joined her, while simultaneously sneaking glances and admiring her. Their moment was interrupted by a panic-stricken Wade running towards them. 

“GUys it’s fALLING FAsteR.” he managed to say while running. 

“WHAT?”

“RUN”

All three of them started running as fast as they could and decided to get away from the civilians so as to not attract any attention. They got to the end of the canyon, the deepest part, from where the meteor was clearly visible. 

“WHAT NOW?”

“WADE, STOP SCREAMING”

“YOU’RE SCREAMING, JERUSHA”

“YEAH, ‘CAUSE YOU’RE SCREAMING, HAL JORDAN”

Wade gasped. “YOU TAKE THAT BACK”

“WHO THE FUCK IS HAL JORDAN?” Peter was more confused than before. 

“YOU KNOW, THE GREEN LAN-”

“HOW IS THIS HELPING” 

“Right, Sorry. So uh, If I remember correctly, this was the Earth I’m from,” Y/n said while entering some sort of intergalactic coordinates in the temp pad. 

“And a different Earth means a different coordinate, and I saw Mobius change the first digit to get to Lamentis, and the File with the Earth Coordinates that I remember seeing changed only the last digits, so I’m guessing that this,” Y/n said while changing the coordinates from earlier “will get us to the next Earth. They’re way too close to other Earths so it’s hard to track us.” 

“Y/n, are you sure about this?”

“As sure as I am that a talking raccoon sent me a message on Snapchat about a couple days ago from space, Peter.”

“Ok, am I supposed to know what any of that means because you look like you said something that makes absolute sense and-”

“Yes, I’m sure. I’m sure. On 3. 1, 2- I SAID ON 3” 

“I PANICKED, WHAT DO WE DO NOW”

“LOOK FOR A DOOR” 

“WHY ARE WE STILL SCREAMING”

“I DON’T KNOW”

“GUYS, SHUT UP, WE’RE GOING TO DIE” 

“MY SPIDEY SENSES ARE GOING BATSHIT CRAZY, I CAN HEAR COLOURS AND SEE SOUNDS, THAT METEOR IS WAY TOO CLOSE THAN IT SHOULD BE AND I CAN FEEL SOMETHING IN THAT DIRECTION,” Peter said, pointing ahead.

“GUYS. DOOR. DOOR. IT’S A DOOR. JERUSHA, EDUARDO, ITS A DOOR”

“YEAH, I CAN SEE THAT NOW RUN.”

The group made their way towards the doorway as the meteor hit Lamentis behind them. Everything started to fall apart around them, and they were not close enough to the door to make it on time. Peter and Y/n held each other’s hands and ran as fast as they could. Wade was much faster than both of them combined. The door was starting to fade away, and the falling debris was not helping. They fought through the dirt, rocks, and falling pieces of meteor and barely made it out in one piece. Wade got there first. He waited for Peter and Y/n who were seconds away. 

“Together,” they said in unison. They went through the doorway together, and as if right on cue, it closed behind them immediately after they crossed. 

“(Y/n), Where are we?” Peter asked in what seemed to be a mix of intrigue and what seemed to be fear, which was justified considering the environment. His spider-sense was very active like it was a radar that had caught 100 things at the same time. It was late at night, at least half past midnight, and they were in a dark alley. It was way too loud, given the time, and it wasn’t the kind of loud that gave you the idea that the place was bustling with life. It was eerily quiet among the noise, which could make anyone uncomfortable. The entire neighborhood was drenched in a yellow atmosphere, that reeked of violence, crime, and somehow, pain. On top of one of the buildings nearby, Y/n spotted a certain familiar vigilante in red and black armor and a mask finished with devil horns and determination. 

“Hell’s Kitchen.” 

[writingwhatiwanttoread]

Help! I've Landed in a FanFiction (Chapter 2)

Pairing: fem!OC x Justice League

Genre: OC insert, Soulmate AU, Isekai, Reverse Harem

Characters: OC, Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Hal Jordan, Diana Prince, Barry Allen, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Damian Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Cassandra Cain, Barbara Gordon, John Constantine, and other DC characters as the story progresses

Warnings: all warnings not tagged, suicidal ideation, domestic violence, general violence and dark, 18+ themes, read at your own risk

Summary: Katie Smith wakes up in a new world, one out of comic books and ridiculously cheesy tropes. All she wants to do is find her way back home, but no one is helping her. Worst of all, they claim to be her soulmates. Surely it's all dream. How can she make herself wake up?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2 (This One)

Chapter 2: Is it Called Kidnapping When You're Not a Kid?

The alarm screamed in a very annoying way, and Katie wanted to cover her ears but she was still tied to the damn chair. Luthor (sure, whatever, she didn't have a better thing to call the made-up villain in her obviously confused mind) dragged her chair to the middle of the room, practically tipping her over. He grabbed some duct tape off his desk, and wrapped it around her head three times. She could almost taste the glue and it muffled her so much that she barely heard the groan as she felt it stuck to the back of her hair. It would be a pain to get off. (Why was she even considering it? She just needed to wake up. Warm bath and then maybe not sleeping again for like, two weeks.)

She felt cold metal pressed against her head and realized, a little delayed, that it was a gun. Isn't that an idea? She saw a movie once where a character killed themselves in a dream and returned to the real world. She tilted her head against the barrel, a little bit, considering. She couldn't see Luthor's face, but as he pressed in harder, she wondered what he thought.

The room was thick was anticipation. He had stopped his monologuing and the only thing Katie could hear besides her heavy breathing was the persistent wailing of the alarm.

About ten minutes later, the large office doors flew open. Several bodies rushed in, Katie taken by the bright colors. She really was the best at imagination, she thought, a little smugly. When she was younger, she had wanted to be a writer, and before Matt firmly shot down that idea ("Pretty much a waste of your time, babe, isn't it?"), she always thought she could come up with a pretty good story. Maybe when all this was over, she could figure out how to write it all down.

The room was chaotic until it wasn't. Whether this was because they saw the gun to her head or were just being cautious of the man behind her, everyone stopped suddenly. Two tall figures (most likely male?) stood in front of the rest of the group. One was wearing a black suit with a blue bird and the other wearing a red helmet. Behind them was a young man in a red and black suit, and a smaller boy? wearing what she finally recognized as a Robin(?) suit. All of them had their faces covered in some sort of mask. There were three others behind them---a young man wearing a leather jacket with spikes, a smaller figure in red and white with goggles, and a young woman with blonde hair and a W on her costume. Katie's eyes were wide as she took in the cosplayers in front of her. She figured if Lex was a villain, maybe these guys were heroes and had no idea why her brain made them up. She knew only a few characters from comics---Batman, Superman, and Lex Luthor. Wonder Woman was a comic book character, right? The Joker? Spider Man. Um...Captain America? And some guy with a burlap sack on his head that Matt always said was his favorite. Who else? Maybe Archie and Jughead would show up soon.

"Lex." The man in blue said sternly.

"Ah, Nightwing. Forgive me for my disappointment, but this invitation was not for you or the rest of the...freaks with you." Katie watched as the boy in the jacket flinched slightly. His face didn't change though---all of them were staring with a mix of stoicism and anger.

"Well," the Nightguy said pleasantly, dangerously, "we received it anyway. I'm afraid those you did mean it for are out of contact right now." His eyes flicked to Katie and back to Luthor.

The man with a red helmet rested his hand on the gun attached to his hip. His voice came out gravelly and deep, almost machine like. "What do you want, Luthor?"

Katie felt the gun press against her temple harder. No one moved an inch but she felt several pairs of eyes land on her. She looked back curiously.

There was a gasp behind Helmet Head and Nightguy, coming from the Red and Black dude. He whispered something Katie couldn't hear.

Nightguy and Red Helmet stiffened a bit. Katie could hear the sneer in her captor's voice. "As you can see," he trailed his fingers down her chest slowly, stopping at the top of her bra, "this isn't a conversation for you."

Red and Black guy stepped forward, sounding bored for some reason. "It looks like this isn't a conversation for you, either, Lex. The League is off world right now. Don't you think this would mean a while lot more if you played this game with them?" He twirled the large staff in his hand. (Gandalf! That was a comic book character, right? Katie patted herself on the back for knowing something.) He then turned his back to them, which Katie thought was kind of stupid. "Not our circus, not our monkeys, right, guys? We've got bigger things to worry about." The room was still for a moment, until the man in the red helmet shrugged. "Sure, Red. What do you say, Big Bird?"

The Nightguy nodded sharply, never taking his eyes off Katie. "If you say so. We'll pass on your message, Lex." He twirled his finger in the air, some sort of nonverbal wrap it up and turned around and just fucking walked out. Every single one of them.

Katie, who was getting frustrated with the duct tape wrapped around her face, must have managed to show enough confusion in her eyes that even the bald villain seemed to pity her. He put away his gun and scoffed, ripping the tape from her face and around her hair without any warning. She yelped and tears sprung to her eyes. Several strands were tugged out with the violent ungagging and she couldn't help but whine. Luthor laughed meanly. "Smarter than they look. I don't fully believe it, but I'll find out if they were lying soon, I gather. Go to sleep, darling. We'll try again later." The last thing she felt was a prick in her neck.

----

Katie woke up in a different room than her first cell, and definitely not in Luthor's office. It was about the size of a walk-in closet and carpeted. The door was locked, but there was a small pallet with a thin blanket and a bucket in the corner. A plate with a peanut butter sandwich and a small cup with water was on a side table. She took a couple of bites and downed the water and then sat on the pallet. She had been dressed in a pair of sweatpants and large black shirt, and she was determined not to think about who changed her.

She redid her ponytail and cleaned her glasses with her shirt, and then scooted back against the wall. Slowly, she started thumping her head against it, wondering how hard she'd need to hit it to wake up. Just before she could bang it harder, the handle on the locked door jiggled. Katie made herself smaller on the pallet, scooting further into the corner of the room. She was not ready for another round, even if it was all in her head.

The door opened slowly. But instead of Luthor, it was the small one she saw earlier, with goggles.

"AwesomeIknewyouwouldbehereItoldRedRobinthatIwouldfindyoufirstIcan'tbelieveitareyouok?" The words rushed out and Katie had a hard time keeping up. The kid looked at her, bouncing up and down from foot to foot.

"Um. Yes?" She hadn't caught the question, really, but hoped it was the right answer. Judging by his smile, it was.

"GreatI'mgoingtopickyouupnowandwearegoingtogetoutofherebeforetheplacegoesboomSuperboydecidedhe'ddothehonorsthistimetakethatLex!"

And before Katie could decode any of that, the guy grabbed her hand, tossed her on his back (despite how much bigger she was than him) and flew? ran? teleported? away. Katie actually didn't know what was happening because one moment she was in the weird closet and the next she was on top of a skyscraper watching a building across from her blow up. Her stomach lurched and she threw up.

"Impulse, did you even warn her?" Katie wiped her mouth with the bottom of her shirt and looked up. The young man in red and black was shaking his head in exasperation, while the other young man in the leather jacket was flying (!) next to him. Red stepped forward, his hand extended.

"Sorry about that, we had to work fast. I'm Red Robin. What's..." But Katie didn't hear the next thing because at that moment the tattoo on her chest flared in pain and she sunk to the ground. All she heard before she fainted were the shouts of surprise around her.

[vodkassassin]

bro i'm bored too so this is perfect (btw this is muffin from the spleenectomy server i just have a different tumblr name)

i recently took a break from banging tim drake around my brain like a tennis ball machine in a glass cage bc i was visiting family but now i am back home and back on my bullshit

IMAGINE: after reversing joker junior on tim, he gets amnesia and is taken in by harley, who at this point has realized that the whole situation with joker and junior was horrible. she's also not mentally stable enough to take care of a whole ass child, since she has no idea who this kid used to be before the brainwashing, so she calls in a couple favors and soon enough, tim is getting passed around in a weird custody arrangement by the whole gotham rogues gallery

meanwhile, bruce is shutting down from grief since he thinks that tim killed joker then himself. jason comes back to a broken father he honestly has no idea how to deal with. the green haze of the lazarus doesn't accept a batman who solemnly takes any accusation jason throws at him like he deserves it. the family heals slowly but surely, and eventually damian joins hearing stories about his predecessor, a kind and bright boy taken from them too soon

tim? is living it up with more parental figures than he can count on both hands, learning the tricks of the trade and finally letting his mastermind brain extend to areas he previously ignored. raising a child brought together the rogues in a way never seen before, and any genuine animosity between them has turned into rivalries at the worst. tim still retains his strong moral compass, and while he doesn't approve of his aunts' and uncles' illegal activities, he'll still bail them out after an attack gone wrong

eventually, whispers of his existence spread around to lower level goons and make their way to red hood's ear. something something the bats have to confront the fact that tim, even without his memories, seems happier and healthier surrounded by career criminals than he's ever been with them

and what does that mean about how they've treated him?

OUCHIE muffin you hurt me heart…. Do it again.

Jason meanwhile is like “damn y’all fucked up didnt you” bc he never met Tim. He’s also vaguely rougue-shaped at this point so he gets to enjoy spoiling his younger bro and rubbing it in his family’s faces.

Damian, who also never met a Tim before now, also gets along with him like a house on fire. They play murder-tag across the rooftops sometimes when he’s on patrol. No real murder, ofc, that’s just what they call it. Super safe dw.

Bruce and Dick are jealous as FUCK but they’re also too caught up in their grief and guilt complexes that they have yet to get over their bullshit about the entire thing

[browniesarethebest]

Hey I’m a HUGEEEEE fan of your writing ! Its so much fun to read and its just AJISHAKUSBEJAKJSJBKSJAKHSHS , ok sorry anyway can you please do a jason centric fic from batkid reversal if you want to :-)

Aw thank you! Sorry this is so late!

The first time Jason met Batman, he tried to hit him with a tire iron.

This was after he was discovered stealing the Batmobile’s tires, so Jason was not feeling great about his chances, but instead of getting the shit kicked out of him, he somehow found himself in the Batcave, meeting the rest of the mythical Bats.

Jason couldn’t help but stare around the Batcave in awe. It was filled with all sorts of trophies from Batman’s fights with supervillains. Jason especially wanted to check out the dinosaur in the corner but had a feeling he should probably stay where he was.

Shadowbat looked outraged. “Father, are you serious? You just took in Batgirl less than a year ago.”

“You’re rate of adoption is growing exponentially, B,” Spoiler added, “I think you’re developing a bit of a problem.”

“Wait. Batman wants to adopt me? Does that mean I get to become a superhero too?” Jason asked, eyes shining at the idea.

“No.”

“Yeah, probably.”

Shadowbat glared at Spoiler before turning to Batman. “Need I remind you what happened to Kid Bat when he was starting out? What could have happened? Taking in Batgirl was one thing, as she was already trained, but you are asking for another disaster if you take this one in.”

“What happened to Kid Bat?” 

Jason was ignored as Spoiler spoke, “Where’d you even find this kid, B?”

“Crime Alley. He was stealing the tires from the Batmobile.”

There was a beat of silence before everyone turned to stare at Jason. Jason eyed the heroes, wondering if this was the part where he would get beat up for stealing from Batman.

Spoiler whistled while Batgirl held out a fist. “Ballsy. You’re gonna fit right in, kid.”

Jason hesitantly fist-bumped Batgirl before looking at Spoiler. “Really?”

“Oh yeah.” Jason was shocked when she removed her hood and mask and held out a hand. “Nice to meet you, kid. I’m—”

“Stephanie Brown?” Jason’s jaw dropped. He looked around at the others. “That means...”

Batman pulled his cowl back, revealing himself as Bruce Wayne. 

The others watched as Jason looked around at the rest of the Bats, mentally tagging the rest of the Waynes. His eyes scanned over them again before settling on Batman.

“How the hell has no one figured it out? Like, now that I’m seeing it, it makes so much sense that the Waynes are the Bats.”

Bruce ignored the seething glare Damian sent him and smiled at the boy. “People see what they want to see. You’d be surprised at how little effort some heroes put into covering their secret identity and still stay low-profile.”

Spoiler (Stephanie Brown!) snorted while Jason furrowed his brows. He was sure Batman was making a dig at someone, but he wasn't sure who.

The rest of the meeting sped by in a blur, and Jason soon found himself lying in bed, dressed in a pair of Tim Drake's old pajamas. His new room was practically the size of his old apartment. It was bare, but Mr. Wayne and Stephanie had promised to take him out tomorrow to get things to make the room his own after filing the foster paperwork.

Jason didn't really know how to feel about that. Everything was moving so fast. Jason wasn't even really sure if he wanted to be fostered. He knew it would probably lead to adoption, like it had for the rest of Bruce's kids.

It beat living on the streets at least.

He did know that Damian Wayne didn't like him—that much was obvious. Jason didn't think the man had another facial expression besides glaring. Maybe it had something to do with what happened to Kid Bat?

Tim Drake.

Jason wasn't sure what to make of Tim. He had been pretty quiet during their first meeting. He hoped Tim didn't hate him. Of all the heroes in Gotham, Jason looked up to Kid Bat the most. Kid Bat was a, well, kid going up against supervillains and still managing to stay bright and funny. Jason had seen him take down a couple of muggers once, and it was a memory Jason thought about often. Jason had often felt powerless in his life. With Willis. With—With his mom. With the street thugs who chased him down to beat him up. Kid Bat was a symbol that he didn't have to be powerless—that just because he was kid didn't mean that he had to take it lying down.

And maybe now that Batman was taking him in, he could become a superhero too. He could inspire kids the way Kid Bat inspired him.

It was a nice thought.

He'd have to think of a name.

Jason was excited about all the new possibilities at his fingertips but soon fell asleep (his new bed was comfy). In the morning, he would go to with Bruce, Stephanie, and Cassandra to get his foster care paperwork filed before being whisked off to get clothes and decorations for his new room. He would spend his days learning how to bake with Alfred, slowly winning Damian over with in-depth literature discussions, and training with Bruce, who caved quickly to Jason's pleas to learn.

As for Tim? One day, the older boy took Jason aside after training and told him a story about a boy who was pushed away, leaving him vulnerable for the Joker to take. Thankfully, everything worked out in the end, but Tim never wanted Jason to go through what he did. He told Jason that he thought long and hard about what to do. He knew he couldn't convince Jason to not become a hero—there had been no convincing him, and he could see the potential in Jason.

It took everything in Jason not to cry when Tim handed him the Kid Bat costume. Tim told him he wasn't particularly attached to the name and that maybe Jason could help him find a new name?

Clutching the fabric close, Jason agreed to help Tim with a trembling lip. Tim smiled and pulled Jason into a hug. He murmured into the younger boy's ear, and the tears finally fell.

"Welcome to the family."

[ficrecslist]

Fic Rec Sunday #2

This week's collection includes Boku no Hero Academia and Batman fics again. Please make sure to look through fic tags before reading.

Batman

the wrongest thing in the world by dustorange (5k, WIP, M)

"I thought it’d be different when he got shot. I was going to be the one to do it. I wanted him dead so bad. But when I saw him, it was different. He was all scared. He was just some guy. It was all different,” Dick whispers. “I didn’t want it to be different. It shouldn’t be different. He took everything from me. I don’t even have my—” his fingers reach up as if to claw down the cuffs of his hoodie, then falter on his bare skin, remembering that it's no longer there, and scratch into his skin instead. His voice breaks. “He got everything.”

Damian slowly unclips his cape. He hesitates. Then he wraps it around Dick’s shoulders.

“Not,” Damian says, “everything.”

(After Bruce's death, Damian struggles to shoulder the Batman mantle. He also struggles to keep a grieving street kid from getting himself killed.)

Another excellent Robin age reversal AU this week. The author has a ton of other good works as well.

the primacy of personal conscience by birdsofthesoul (26k, M)

"WHAT MAKES IAGO EVIL? some people ask. I never ask."

— Joan Didion, Play It as It Lays

Or: Dick, his family, and the moral morass of a wishing well.

Delves deep into each of the batfam's personal morals by putting them into an interesting situation: what would happen if an actual wishing well that worked showed up in Gotham?

Code of Silence by JHSC (9k, T) cw: referenced sexual assault

Willis Todd doesn’t die in prison. That doesn’t change much, until it does.

I didn't think too much of Willis Todd before reading this. Normally people characterise him a lot as an abusive dirtbag, but this fanfic doesn't do that and I find it really interesting. Definitely a good fic.

The Next Life by spqr (15k, T)

“I don’t need an exorcism,” Tim says.

“I beg to bloody differ,” Constantine mutters.

Nobly, Tim elects to ignore him. “I want you to teach me.”

“Teach you what? Manners?”

“I already know manners,” Tim says, then barrels on as Constantine snorts in disagreement, “what I need to learn is necromancy.”

Very much enjoyed a look at the magic side of DC, especially since I haven't read much stuff on it before. I don't know how much of it is true to canon, but if it isn't, it feels very built-in and detailed in the way the magic system is written. Necromancer!Tim and questionable adult John Constantine is a delight to read.

Bet Your Bottom Dollar by husborth (7k, T) cw: referenced sexual assault

Dick's been having kind of a hard time, recently. When it boils over, Bruce is there for him.

Lots of good things to write about this fic: comes highly recommended. I've reread this and the author's other works multiple times.

Circles by withthekeyisking (9k, M)

Dick understands the necessity of working with Hush, that having the world continue on thinking that Bruce Wayne is alive is a useful thing. Doesn't mean he has to like it. Doesn't mean it's easy to engage with a man with Bruce's face when Dick still misses his dad like a limb.

And it turns out that's a weakness Thomas is all too happy to exploit.

If you're feeling up for some angst, give this one a try.

Boku no Hero Academia

Legacy by i_am_snowils_admiral (8k, T)

One For All is a sentient quirk. It isn't evil, or malicious. But it's sentient and it has one goal: to carry out the will of its first user - overcoming All for One.

A very cool fic! It does a great job of making OFA come across as creepy, and then they take it down another road.

the ghost of unbroken love by ennuied (7k, T)

Shouto’s life has cracked open like a raw egg on concrete. Some things will never be the same, but some things will.

It's actually been a while since I read this one, but I do remember that I really enjoyed it.

Candor by OwlF45 (60k, M)

Izuku’s ears pop.

It’s the third time Izuku’s hit the pavement face-first.

He’s so close to pulling himself up to his knees when a pipe slams through his lower back and pins him to the concrete. His breath leaves him all at once. He tries to scream. He can’t.

And the rest of the building falls on him in a burst of smoke and dust. His eardrums shatter, he lays flat against the pavement, spitting red globs of blood, and he tries not to remember red eyes and white hair and—

Or: The Hero Commission passes a new code that requires all heroes to complete a mental simulation test. For Izuku, the consequences are catastrophic.

I'm so into the themes that the author explored in this fic, and just kinda everything about it? You can tell they worked a lot on it, and I think Candor is now one of my favourite BNHA fanfics, because wow. Comes HIGHLY recommended.

hineni | הנני by jonphaedrus (42k, T)

The problem was not that All Might was Yagi Toshinori.

The problem is that Yagi Toshinori is—was—had always been—All Might.

And always would be.

A lovely All Might character study that I liked a lot.

Walk a Mile in Another’s Shoes by katydid (56k, WIP, T)

The Aoyamas think twice and decide not to get involved with a shady man who claims to be able to give quirks. Instead, Hisashi and Inko Midoriya purchase a naval laser quirk for their son in exchange for a large sum of money and an undisclosed favor.

A decade later, All for One comes to collect his due. Izuku Midoriya must choose between his mother’s life or betraying his ideals and his friends.

Read this fic. Read all of the other fics the author has written. Thank me later. This one isn't my favourite but I do very much enjoy it: all of them are really good and are worth reading I think.

different, same by achievingelysium (1k, T)

The world is different from what he remembers.

Much, much different.

Midoriya Izuku is Quirkless. Yet the universe works in circles, and One for All returns to its first wielder long long after he's dead.

A cool Yoichi-reincarnates-as-Midoriya Izuku fic!

[fanfic-me-up]

Hiiiiiii can I request Bakugou x fem!reader?? (*≧∀≦*) Maybe he has a crush on you who has a healing quirk and helps recovery girl when it comes to helping the injured, like when class 1-A finishes up training and recovery girl normally sends her to deal with it all the time? She can heal people but it drains her energy so when she finished with it she takes naps on the recovery beds? Idk but thanks!much love❤️❤️❤️

This is a really cute idea! Thank you for requesting 💖 

“Shut up and Heal me”

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x fem!reader

Word Count: 1.5k+

Warnings: Language (what do you expect, it’s Bakugou lol)

Synopsis: You’re a student at U.A. and Recovery Girl’s apprentice healer. When you push pass your limit to heal Bakugou Katsuki, who knew he cared enough to make sure you heal too.

“Wake up, dumbass.”

Your shoulder is shaken, abruptly waking you from your nap. A muscular silhouette takes shape as you pry your eyes open.

“Bakugou? Is that you?” Your voice laced with sleep. 

“Nah, it’s Batman.” 

You squint your eyes, still half asleep. Is this a dream? Bakugou rolls his eyes at your inability to detect blatant sarcasm.

“‘Course it’s me, dipshit. Get up.”

You check your phone and groan when you find you only got five minutes worth of valuable shut eye.

“You’re here early.” 

“Aizawa-sensei let us out early!” Midoriya pipes up. He’s chipper for someone who looks one step away from passing out. Any trace of sleep vanishes when you assess his injuries, asking him a series of questions to confirm where he needs medical attention and if it’s life-threatening. You usher him to Recovery Girl’s office so he can get treated immediately. Typical Midoriya - always going plus ultra even for training exercises. 

Bakugou’s no better as you take in the numerous scrapes and bruises raking his body. Despite his beaten-up state, the only open wound is on the right side of his stomach - a small pool of blood seeping through his muscle shirt. He’s been pushing himself much harder in training these past couple weeks and you know it’s the life of a hero, but you’re concerned for him as a healer and as a friend. 

“You gonna stare all day or heal me?”

“Sorry, right, uh.. Take off your shirt and get on the bed.” 

The words escape before you realize the implication. Bakugou raises an eyebrow before snorting.

“Tch. Weirdo.”

You flush as he takes off his shirt, laying down on the bed. The wound running down his abdomen is not deep, but it is long. It’ll be difficult to heal, but you’re always up for a challenge. You wash your hands before activating your quirk. A glowing aura surrounds your hands, transparent in color, but before you can focus on changing the color to heal Bakugou - a spaced out Kaminari stands before you with his signature thumbs up. Snot is running down his nose and his eyes have this blank look like no one’s home. 

“hewwoo?” 

“Oi! Dunceface! To your right!” 

“wa-whee-whaa?” 

That’s Kaminari gibberish for “Where?” Being Recovery Girl’s intern and constantly healing Class 1-A along with other students in the hero course has made you quite familiar with the unusual side effects of overusing one’s quirk. You created a book with translations for Kaminari’s most used gibberish phrases so you can treat him more efficiently. Today, you tried placing his juice box and cookies on the table to the right to see if he can find it himself. But he’s having problems finding what direction is right.

“Your other right, dumbass.” Bakugou growls as Kaminari bends down to look for his juice box under a chair. You giggle as you help him locate his snack before ushering him to one of the recovery beds to take a nap. He knocks out in no time, snoring softly. Bakugou grunts, his hand pressing against the wound on his side. 

“Don’t touch, it could get infected.” 

“Tch. I know, but look.” He releases his hold to show you the blood dripping down his abdomen. You curse for not healing him sooner when he was clearly a higher priority than Kaminari. How could you forget the number one rule as a healer? There’s no time to beat yourself up for it so you grab a cleaning cloth to wipe away the blood before activating your quirk once again. You close your eyes, focusing your energy into what you’re about to do which is close up a wound. Red swirls behind your eyelids and you focus the color down your body to your hands. You open your eyes to find them glowing a bright, luminescent red - a stark contrast to the dim lighting in the room. Bakugou hisses at the touch; your hands trailing along his abdomen. You look up to apologize when you notice Bakugou’s flushed cheeks, as red as your glowing hands.

“Are you okay? You’re a bit flushed.” You deactivate your quirk in your left hand to touch his forehead. It’s cause for concern if he has a fever due to an open wound, but you’re taken aback when Bakugou swats your hand away.

“I’m fine! Shut up and heal me.” He looks away, but you catch the persistent redness now making its way down his neck. You return to healing the wound. It’s almost closed, but you can feel your energy draining quicker than usual since you didn’t have enough time to recover earlier. 

“Hey, you good?” 

“Mhm. Al-most… done…” You bite your lip and clench your eyes shut to concentrate the last of your energy into closing the rest of the wound.

“Don’t push it, dumbass.”  Bakugou grunts and despite the harsh tone, there’s a tinge of concern underneath. 

“Heh.. could say… the same… for..” 

You trail off and your hands glow brighter by the second that you can see red behind your eyelids. You feel the wound seal shut and when you open your eyes you see there’s not a scar in sight. This is the first time you were able to completely heal a wound on your own. You smile at your accomplishment. 

“You can take your hands off.” 

You flush before ripping your hands away. The quick movement gives you a head rush, the room spinning in circles.

“Whoa.” Bakugou grabs you by the shoulders and reverses your position so you’re laying down now. 

“My head hurts…”

“No shit,” Bakugou snorts, “What’d I say about pushing?”

“Go beyond... plus… ultra…”

The last thing you hear is Bakugou laughing, a soft smile curling his lips, before your vision goes black.

------------------------------------------------

You wake up to the smell of roasted coffee and cinnabons. Faint voices go back and forth, but you can’t make out what they’re saying. The light streaming in is gone; the room now darker than before. Jeez how long were you out?

“Took you long enough.”

You whip your head to see Bakugou sitting on a chair and nursing a cup of coffee. The bed next to yours is empty. Kaminari must’ve recovered meaning you’ve slept for more than an hour.

“You stayed.”

“Yeah, and? Wanted to make sure you didn’t die ‘cause of me.” 

City lights shine bright, and the hustle and bustle outside suggests the city isn’t going to sleep anytime soon. Live music roars from nightclubs and people laughing on the street would entice anyone to join the party. It’s pretty hard to believe Bakugou would stay behind on a Friday night when it’s common knowledge that you need to sleep after overusing your quirk. But here he is, that same strip of red running along his cheeks and nose like he just got a cute little sunburn. 

“You like laser tag?” Bakugou asks.

You raise an eyebrow at the random question, shrugging when you answer.

“Never played.”

Bakugou balks, shock written all over his face.

“You never - what kind of person - nevermind. If we hurry, we can make the last round.”

Maybe this time you really were dreaming. You subtly pinch yourself to make sure and nope, this is real life and Bakugou is inviting you to hang out.

“Sounds... fun? But I… um…I’m not really part of your squad…”

You didn’t want to overstep. It seemed like they were a pretty tight-knit group and you’ve never hung out with them outside of school. The fear of ruining their night because you didn’t vibe with them twisted your gut. 

“Gimme your phone,” Bakugou says.

Still in a daze, you give him your phone without question. He takes his phone out and not a second later you hear a “ping” from yours, He presses a couple buttons before handing it back to you. 

“Congrats, you’re part of the squad.”

You see that you’ve been added to a group chat called “keeping up with the crackheads”. You don’t have time to contemplate exactly what you got thrusted into as Bakugou is grabbing both of your jackets hanging on the coat rack, handing yours and pushing you towards the door. 

“I- um.. Thanks… I guess...? Bakugou, what’s going on?”

You’re already halfway down the hallway, everything happening too fast without a clear explanation. Bakugou groans, clearly frustrated that you’re not a mind reader and he has to actually communicate what he’s thinking. He grabs your shoulders, gently shoving your back against the lockers, and planting his hands on either side of you. Being this close to Bakugou makes you feel a familiar flurry of butterflies as you’re caged in and forced to look into those crimson eyes. 

“I. Like. You.” He smirks, getting a kick at your flustered state, before leaning away with his hands in his pockets, “And I know you like me too.”

You don’t know what to freak out over first. The fact that Bakugou knows about your crush or that he likes you back. Also, how does he know you like him? You haven’t told anyone about your crush, preferring to keep your cards close to your chest.

“Don’t talk in your sleep if you don’t want me to know how much you wanna run your hands down my ‘chiseled abs’.”

You squeak and cover your face with your hands, too embarrassed at what else you might’ve said in your sleep.

“Chill, dumbass, it’s cute.”

Bakugou rolls his eyes, throwing an arm over your shoulder, leading you to a night full of riveting laser tag, making new friends, and first kisses. 💖

[raith-way]

Fic Writer Tag Game

My first AO3 fic was posted back in June, of this year, so some of these answers are going to be embarrassing. Most of my AO3 catalogue is oneshots and drabbles, but let’s do this! Thank you @asirensrage for the tag!!

How many works do you have on AO3?

12

What’s your total AO3 word count?

78,540

How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

6 – Bandom (My Chemical Romance, Avenged Sevenfold, Falling In Reverse, Taylor Swift) / Buffy The Vampire Slayer / Fast & Furious / DC Extended Universe (Batman V Superman, Justice League) / (The) Suicide Squad / Marvel (The Avengers)

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Keeping Us Down Is Impossible – The Suicide Squad (2021) / Rick Flag x Reader / Oneshot / Summary: You’re on a mission with a new team, thinking about your original team, only to find out part of that team is here. One thing is clear: You are going to survive this mission, and so is Rick Flag. / Kudos: 42

Things Are Getting A Little Hazy – Buffy The Vampire Slayer / OFC x OMC / WIP / Summary: Grace Blackburn’s great destiny was to give Angel a choice, and his decision sets the future for Sunnydale. With visions of the end and the formation of strange friendships, Grace navigates the new direction her life has taken while trying to convince her new brooding vampire bestie that he can be happy. AU after BTVS Season 3 & ATS doesn’t exist. / Kudos: 5

One Step At A Time – Fast and Furious / Jakob Toretto x OFC / Oneshot / Summary: Everything around them is being destroyed, and all they have is a moment. Just this one moment. / Kudos: 3

Memento Mori – DCEU (Post Justice League) / Bruce Wayne x OFC / WIP / Summary: Ryan Lopez should be six feet under, or at least be reduced to ash along with her former life. Instead she was trapped in the corporate world of Gotham, with nothing but cryptic messages from a grandfather she never knew and a soldier who acted like her butler. Not to mention that there was something very wrong with that Bruce Wayne guy. / Kudos: 2

Mistakes – Suicide Squad / Rick Flag x OFC / Oneshot / Summary: Rev waits at Belle Reve for Rick to return from a meeting, and not just because she wants to see him in his too-tight suit. (But also so she can see the way he looks in his too-tight suit.) / Kudos: 2

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, because I like letting readers know that I read their comments and appreciate that they took the time to leave a comment.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

That would be a oneshot, Washing Away Reality, in the DC (Batman) fandom.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not really? Two of my fics crossover, but they’re both in the same DC Universe so I don’t think that counts.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I don’t have any posted, yet, but I do write it. The kind depends on the fic and the character perspective I’m writing in. Sometimes it’s more vague, some scenes focus more on the emotion of the moment, and others are more graphic.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I’m not even sure how to answer that. Out of all the fandoms? I definitely can’t choose. Out of my current fics? My all-time favorite ship is probably Grace Blackburn (OFC) and Eliot Greenwood (OMC), from my BTVS fic Things Are Getting A Little Hazy. Their relationship is practically destined.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

My band fic, Soundtrack Of The Revolution. It’s planned out, all 400 chapters of it, but I’ve been working on it for a decade. I’m not giving up, but we’ll see if it ever gets completed.

What are your writing strengths? What are your writing weaknesses?

Someone who’s read my stories would have to tell me my strengths, because I have no clue. I just ramble sentences onto a word document and hope that it makes sense. My weaknesses would probably be my descriptions. I overly describe things and occasionally go off on tangents, which causes my chapters to be ridiculously long. I consider that to be a weakness.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I try not to do it, because I’m only fluent in English, but I will write dialogue in another language with the help of Google Translate. If I get it too wrong, hopefully someone will correct me. When I can though, I prefer to just mention that the character is speaking in another language without having to actually write the other language because I don’t want to butcher it.

What was the first fandom you’ve written for?

This question hurts my soul. The very first fandom? It would have to be a band fic, probably Avenged Sevenfold, way back in about 2006. Thankfully, all of those fics have been lost to time and will never be read by anyone ever again. Knowing that helps me sleep at night.

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

This is such an unfair question, because how do I pick just one? My favorite fic, that I have personally written, isn’t posted under this name so it’ll have to remain a mystery. My favorite fic that I’ve written under this name, has to be Soundtrack Of The Revolution. Yes, it’s a band fic even though those stopped being popular over a decade ago. I also realize the irony of my favorite fic being the fic that I'm not sure if it'll ever be completed. It’s the most self-indulgent fic that I have ever written, and I’ve been working on it off-and-on since 2009. Seeing how it’s changed and what has remained the same over the years is mind-blowing, and I truly love the story and the characters. So, yeah, it’s my favorite.

Tagging: @wordspin-shares @thecharmedburrowspn-files @lokitrasho @reggiemantleholdmyhand-tle @darknightfrombeyond @stanshollaand @captainrcgers @jinxsflame @jewelswrites-ish @hiddenqveendom

[i-am-ironic]

I was gone for six months and suddenly my best friend has a baby!

Part 2 of this

I wasn't going to do this part but so many people wanted a part two and I came up with this idea!

*******************

Jon was excited, not for the long boring meeting that was about to start, but for the food he was going to get at his best friend's house after the meeting. Of course this might not be the worst meeting, there was supposed to be a new hero from Gatham, that could be fun. He wondered if Damian Robin was friends with this new hero, and if they were another adopted sibling.

As more and more people filed into the justice league's meeting room, Jon Super-boy kept looking and not finding his friend. Once everyone was seated the batfam entered, always so dramatic.

The big bat himself entered first, followed by most of his kids. Nightwing, Red Hood, Black Bat, and Red Robin all walked in, Red Robin making a beeline for the computer. The last to enter was Robin next to a girl in a black suit with red accents. If this wasn't such a serious meeting Jon probably would have teased Robin about the matching suits. She must be the new hero. He whispered something to her in french, so they were friends, very interesting.

When everyone was seated the meeting began in the same way it always did with a report from all the leaders about how their city's were doing. The second order of business was the mission jon had just completed. It had taken him six months, two trips off world and eleven other people but he had finally stopped the alien who had wanted to destroy the world.

For Jon this part was just as interesting as the updates. he did his best to look like he was paying attention but really he was listening to damian talking to the new hero, Ladybug. Everything they said was in french, which made things harder for him because he didn't speak french.

Superman was almost done with the debriefing when Red Robin spoke up, "Ladybug, Agent A needs you right away, code G."

The woman nodded standing. Robin stood too but was stopped by her hand, "i can deal with this Robin, ill call if i need back-up."

He frowned but sat back down. Looking back at superman to continue.

"Thank you superman, for that very detailed debriefing," batman said standing and walking to the head of the table,"now as I'm sure you have heard there is a new hero in Gatham. Red Robin is calling her now she had to leave a moment ago. While we wait for her I would like to give you some backstory, she was thirteen when she became a hero, in Paris. She fought a supervillen for five years before he was finally defeated. Her partner from those days has since retired. She moved to Gatham for college and began working with us as a vigilante about five and a half months ago,"

"That about sums up my life this far," the woman herself stood in the doorway holding a pile of blankets.

Damian walked over to her and carefully took something from the blankets, an even smaller bundle. "She wouldn't stop crying would she?"

"She wanted her dad."

Thats when it clicked: Damian was holding a baby girl, the woman had said the baby wanted her dad and now the girl was reaching up for damian's face. Ladybug walked over next to batman.

Damian had a baby. DAMIAN HAD A BABY!!!!! This was not happening! The same Damian who hissed any time someone tried to touch him, had a baby?????? That didn't make any sense! Where did he get a baby??? You leave for six months and suddenly your best friend has a baby! Ridiculous!

Ladybug began speaking, "im sure many of you are curious about my powers but I'm afraid I can't disclose that information. If anyone has any other questions I would be happy to answer them."

The Flash raised his hand, when ladybug nodded at him he said, "Is that your and Robin's baby?" Barry, always so quick to adresse the elephant in the room.

Ladybug turned slightly red but replied, "In a manner of speaking, yes. But not in blood. Are there any other questions?"

When no one said anything the meeting was adjourned, the heroes heading back to their citys. Jon joined the batfam as they left.

"So Robin would you like to explain why you had a baby and didn't tell me?" Jon asked.

"No."

"Ha!" Jason laughed as they stepped into the tube headed home. "He just doesn't want to explain how he reverse kidnapped a baby."

Stepping out into the bat cave the team walked to there respective changing areas. Leaving only ladybug and the baby with Jon.

"Could you explain?"

She laughed, "sure, basically a lady handed damian little Gabrielle here and sprinted off. We never found the lady so damian and I adopted her. Lagaly she is damian's daughter though. Can you hold her while I detransform?"

"I guess." He took Gabrielle from Ladybug as a bright light over took her.

When the light vanished the young woman standing there smiled at him, "Im marinette by the way."

"Nice to meet you marinette," he said handing her back Gabrielle, "Im Jonathan but everyone calls me Jon."

"Nice to meet you too," she looked behind him and smiled even brighter, "Dames, we had better go up stairs for dinner."

Damian kissed her and took the tiny mask off of Gabrielle's face.

"So im an uncle now, right Damian?"

"No kent my daughter will not be calling you her uncle."

"Why not?!" Marinette and Jon exclaimed at the same time.

"Mari not you too." Damien said in mock horror. "I knew i shouldn't leave you two alone together!"

Marinette giggled. At this point they had reached the kitchen and marinette took Gabrielle from Damian to put her in her high chair.

The three of them continued talking as the rest of the family joind the dinner table. Marinette and Damian took turns feeding Gabrielle mashed sweet potatoes. Everyone laughed and joked, even talking to Gabby some times.

After dinner about half of the team had to go home, everyone else went to their rooms or to the movie room to watch Avitar: the last Airbender, which wasn't a movie but they wanted to watch it on the big screen.

Damian whent to put Gabby to sleep, it was too late for them to go home and Alfred had already prepared a room for them.

"So how long have you and Damian been together?" Jon asked Marinette.

"Two years in May. I didn't meet his family until five months ago though." She smiled, "I met them the same day we got Gabby, I understand why he didn't want me to meet them for such a long time. I mean who could have guessed I was a hreo too?"

"Im glad he found you. He seems much happier when you are around." Jon said.

"Marinette can you come say good night to Gabby she wants you." Damien called from the top of the stairs.

"Ill be right there!" Marinette shouted back.

Marinette walked up the stairs as Damian walked down. "So I guess you like her." Damien said.

"She has the best friend stamp of approval." Jon replied enthusiastically.

"Thats good," Damien said thinking over his words before he continued, "because, I'm going to ask her to marry me." He poped open a ring box revealing a beautiful diamond engagement ring.

"Wow! Oh my god!! Can I be your best man?!!" Jon was vibrating with excitement.

"Sssshhhhhhhhh!! You have to keep this on the down low! No one knows about this not even Alfred!"

"Im pretty sure Alfred knows everything. Especially the things you don't think he knows. Its his secret super power." Jon contredited. "I should probably head to bed i have to get up early tomorrow."

"Why would you need to get up early?"

"Because Alfred is making pancakes and i want to be the first one to get some."

As jon drifted off to sleep he thought about if he would be as good of a dad as damian was, and if he would be able to find someone like marinette.

*******************

Sorry this i late but I was having trouble writing this chapter. Also has anyone else been watching avitar non stop, like at this point I'm pretty sure I've seen it 12 times.

Next im going to write a soulmate au so if you want to be tagged in that let me know. I hope you enjoyed! (The wifi is down at my house sorry if you weren't tagged, ill try again later)

@wannajointhecrabcult @corabeth11 @i-wanna-be-a-ninja @animegirlweeb @spyofthenightcourt @ivymala07 @marinettepotterandplagg @thequeenofpotatoeunicornss @bisha43rbs @dreamykitty25 @sublimesoulbouquet @maribat-is-lifeblood @thestressmademedoit @crytallized @tomanyfandomsonmymind @karukofox21 @nightstarblue @certifiedbidisaster @our-preciousss @lilyreadbooks12

[mental-dilemma]

A Quick Meeting Part 4?

Damian’s an exchange student in Paris taking it easy until an Akuma attacks and he gets to meet ladybug. -----------------------------------------

Ok before everyone starts pancking: I am Emu-Lumberjack I just decided to create a Sideblog for all my writing so that way those who follow me exclusively for that don’t have to deal with the chaos that is my main blog

also I’m sorry it’s taken so long to post this but just between school and work and school and just general exhaustion it’s been hard for me to write.

and as always all credit to the Au goes to @ozmav 

pt.1 

pt. 2

pt. 3

“I don’t suppose I could bribe you to drop the matter.” Damian said sitting down in Tim’s office. He and Ladybug were situated next to each other while Tim was on the other side of the desk.

“Nope.” He turned to Ladybug, “I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself, making sure Damian didn’t disappear and all that. Anyway I’m Tim Drake, Co-Ceo of Wayne enterprises and Damians older brother.”  

Ladybug turned to Damian and quietly said, “So does everyone in your family constantly talk like they’re trying to impress a victorian lord?” Damian snorted. Tim, unable to hear what she just said, looked to the two agape.

“At least I have a reason.” Damian responded, this time loudly enough for his elder brother to hear. “Anyway Tim is in CEO mode right now, which is pretty rare. Usually he’s a bumbling zombie dependent on coffee to function. In fact I remember one time when Dick took the last cup he----”

“I’d suggest stopping right there or I’ll tell her about the batcow incident.” Tim interrupted.

 “Did you just say batcow? Because I understand each of those words separately.” Ladybug said, and even though her mask still concealed half her face Damian could tell she was really confused.

“Don’t ask. Just don’t.” Damian said quietly.

“Anyway. I never caught your name and considering the fact that your in a mask I assume you’re a hero. Which is surprising because none of us knew Paris had heroes.” Tim cut the two of them off before more could be said.

“Yes that’s becoming a common theme I’m finding,” Marinette began. “My name is Ladybug in the mask. I have a partner, Chat Noir, but he’s currently indisposed, something about paint in his hair.” Damian stifled a laugh as Marinette continued, “We have been operating out of Paris for the last few years, early on we tried contacting the Justice league but Green Lantern told us not to prank call him.”

“Oh did he now.” Tim said, leaning his head forward.

“Yes he did. Thankfully my power allows me to reverse all damage done during a fight. Including any lives lost or monuments destroyed.”

“That sounds like a very useful power. I'm sure that the heroes of Gotham would love to work with you.” There was a twinkle in his eye that Damian knew meant Tim was concocting some scheme. He was about to jump in, but Marinette got there first.

“Yes I’m sure you would but the issue is we currently have our hands full here although from what Damian told me you guys sound much more fun to work with. At least the villains have better costumes.”

Tim noting her wording turned to Damian, “Did you tell her the family secret? You know what Alfred will do if he finds out.”

Damian smirked “I’m not an idiot Drake this was all her. She could rival you for deductive reasoning.” Marinette just sat there looking innocent.

“Well that explains why the two of you were sneaking around together, Ladybug should I assume Damian knows your identity as well?”

“Yep.”

“Well this is going to be a nightmare. But this just means  I can formally invite you to Gotham at least. Ha just leave it to the Ice Prince to leak the identity on his first civilian trip abroad.” Tim leaned his head back, closing his eyes.

“Actually it was you guys who tipped me off.”

Tim suddenly opened his eyes and looked her straight in the eyes. “Come again.”

“Well it was the fact that no one had spied Robin around Batman while Damian was in France. Then the fact that you were patrolling rather than him tipped me off that Robin might be on a vacation..” Tim just face palmed.

“Of course that would happen, how did we not see it coming.” He muttered to himself. “Wait, that begs another question: how did you two meet.”

Damian blushed and before Ladybug could respond he said “not important, there was an akuma. Now do you need anything else.”

“Actually yeah. Ladybug you mentioned the video you sent to Green Lantern, well Batman found it and wanted us to investigate. He didn’t know Green Lantern had seen it or otherwise he’d be on his way back to Ooa healing from a scolding from Alfred. Dick and Jason wanted to come but Bruce needed someone he could send discreetly and who better than the Co-CEO of Wayne industries who could just be checking up on the Paris branch.” Ladybug was impressed by the scheming having Dick Greyson or Jason Todd come in would stir up villain or media activity but Tim the third son wouldn’t.

“Well if you want we can meet up with my partner later and you can formulate a list of questions. Plus it seems you and Damian have some catching up to do.”

“There was a reason I came to Paris Ladybug. Being forced to talk to Tim was not one of them.” Damian made to leave only for a yoyo to catch his leg. Ladybug smirked at him. “Maybe a five minute chat couldn’t hurt anyone. Family reunion and all that.”

“Great then as long as everyones in agreement I can set up a time with chat later this evening for all of us to talk things through and get a strategy in place.”

“Are you sure about this having the league involved is going to cause a lot of chaos and even more dangerous villains could target Paris.”

“Tim I have dealt with so much crap the last couple of years that at this point I will take Darkseid over Lila…… Oh crap. We forgot about Lila.” Marinette looked at Damian who was coming to the same realization she was. He called out Lila in the bakery, and outed himself as a Wayne.

“Do I want to know?” Tim said rubbing his temples. He did not miss highschool.

“Lets just say school tomorrow’s going to be interesting, and I think we’re going to have to put the meeting on hold till after it. Ladybug and I are going to need to deal with school tomorrow, and caffeine isn’t gonna cut it.” Damian said.

“Then again if we aren’t lucid tomorrow might not be so bad….” Marinette began

“Do not even finish that, you even more than me need sleep. Between fashion, school and heroing you function off an hour.”

“You.. have a point. I’ll brief Chat on the situation on my way home. In the meantime I’ll leave you too to the brotherly bonding I’m sure you need.” she pulled her yoyo from her pocket, “See you tomorrow Damian, and whatever plan you hatch up make sure nit doesn’t include killing anyone.”

“Goodnight Ma--- Ladybug. And no promises.” The boy caught himself before revealing Ladybug's identity. She gave him the look of ‘don’t fuck up my secret identity bird boy’ before jumping out the window to run from rooftop to rooftop.

“So. how long have you had a crush on her.” Tim pulled Damians attention, and Damian was sudden;y very glad he had said nothing about not killing his brother.

--------------------------------------

“Do you think they’ll actually help this time?” Chat’s voice rang over the phone, Marinette had stopped behind one of the chimneys to talk to him in private.

“I don’t know, at least now they are actually considering it rather than just brushing us off as children.” Marinette was tired but they needed to have this chat now, there wouldn’t be any chance to in class tomorrow.

“Yeah, just don’t get your hopes up. They left us to fend for ourselves for 3 years and are only doing this now because of Damian if you didn’t know him then none of this would’ve happened.  

“Ok but why does that matter that it’s Damian? They could’ve been doing it because of Jon too.”

“Oh please, you're more dense than our class sometimes. Jon would’ve noted it then forgotten to tell someone, but Damian told Batman right away. Why do you think he did that?”

“Chat I am too tired for this.” Marinette could feel Adrien facepalming through the phone.

“Oh I am not spelling this out for you, this time you get to figure it out yourself.”

“Fine. but next time you need help on your calc homework don’t come running to me.” Marinette hung up on him and made her way home. The parisian streets were nice and quiet for her, no akuma meant maybe another hour of sleep.

Once she was out of the suit she let Tikki rest and got right to work on the new piece she was making for Jagged, he wanted to somehow have the score of his newest piece sewn onto the pants for his next concert, and she had to brainstorm.

Twenty minutes went by.

Then an hour.

Then two.

Finally she put up her pencil and put on her pajamas, as she was falling asleep Adriens words kept replaying in her head, and the meaning slammed into her like a truck. Pulling out her phone she sent one message.

Oh fuck off

tag list: @clumsy-owl-4178 @pawsitivelymiraculous @yuulxd @smolplantmum @inarachi02 @notmycupoftea26 @laurcad123 @unknownvsworld @jeminiikrystal @megawhitleycalderonpaganus

[dessarious]

Misconceptions, Miscommunication, and Misinformation Pt80

Inspired by @ozmav Maribat AU

AO3   Beginning   Previous   Next

Robin watched everything unfold with a smirk on his face. Superman had been getting worse and worse over the years, believing he was the only one that knew right and wrong. That he was the only one capable of making decisions. Robin had never understood why the rest of them put up with it, especially when they all complained anytime Superman wasn’t there. Well except for Green Lantern. That idiot was the biggest suck up he’d ever seen. Watching Tikki take the Man of Steel down a peg or two was far more gratifying that it should have been.

He did wonder how much of this was for show though. The Kwami were unpredictable at best but he didn’t think Tikki would just create four more people Marinette would have to be responsible for. She was already struggling with having to find a place for herself to live and even knowing she had contracts and money coming her way she was not currently in the best position to buy a place large enough to house this many people. That wasn’t counting food and other ongoing costs. Then again, he’d never really had the impression that any of the Kwami besides Kaalki paid attention to things like money so it was entirely possible Tikki didn’t even realize the burden she’d be placing on Mari.

“I won’t allow you to just unleash these creatures on the world.” Robin could only roll his eyes at Superman’s insistence that he had any say over this situation. Though at least he’d said ‘I’ so the rest of the Justice League could just leave him to his own stupidity. Robin actually took a step back when Tikki’s eyes flashed red.

“You won’t allow it?” The Kwami’s voice was low and dangerous. Almost everyone shuddered at the sound. “I know you’re used to being the most powerful being in the room but we are Gods. Discorde has already proven just how ineffective you and your super powers are. Do not make the mistake of assuming you have any control over us or this situation. My Chosen has given you the courtesy of keeping you informed, do not mistake that for weakness or an invitation to interfere in our affairs.”

Robin would admit he’d never thought much of Superman’s intelligence. When you can literally overpower anyone you don’t necessarily think too hard on how to do it. The Kwami may well have the same limitation overall, but Tikki at least knew her holder wasn’t invulnerable. Marinette had always been forced to out think opponents and he had a feeling a lot of Tikki’s holders had been similar. As such the Kwami knew not to rely on brute force alone. Superman still hadn’t learned that lesson. When he moved it was without warning and straight at Tikki. Robin only had enough time to shake his head at the hubris before everything went to hell.

The Kwami of Anarchy and Darkness stepped forward while Tikki just had a satisfied smile on their face. Tikki and Jett both gestured at the same time and suddenly Superman was in a cage and two black masses attached themselves to his eyes. He stumbled around inside the enclosure trying and failing to break through it before attempting to wipe the darkness from his eyes. Everyone else watched, most with shock and fear, but Wonder Woman just looked resigned at this point. Lyccen stepped up to the cage.

“Did you know the body is simply a system? To be more accurate it’s many systems that work together in perfect harmony. Digg has always been so proud of how orderly and efficiently everything functions. I’ll admit it is quite remarkable. Unfortunately there is one rather large flaw. Introduce one foriegn body that a system can’t handle, or have one of those many systems fail and the entire body has a tendency to collapse into complete chaos. Take the brain for example. All I have to do is disrupt one connection and you lose the ability to move.” Robin watched the Kwami point to the hero's neck and Superman dropped to the ground like a puppet whose strings had been cut.

“You can’t do this to me! All this does is prove my point that you’re all too dangerous to be left in the hands of children.” Most of the Kwami let out sounds close to growls, and Robin heard Discorde let out a hiss as well, but Lyccen simply gave a thoughtful hum.

“You think so do you? Correct me if I’m wrong but you were the one to attack Tikki unprovoked. You are the one that’s been convincing the rest of this organization to try and meddle in things they otherwise wouldn’t. You’re the one lobbing threats and tantrums in every direction. How exactly are we the problem in this situation? I think you should just admit you feel inadequate since we can destroy you with barely a thought and move on. It will make things easier for everyone.” Superman sputtered out denials and curses, most less than coherent. “Well then, I suppose I could see what I can do to your other systems. Did you know it only takes one tiny change to make your blood see the rest of your body as an enemy that needs to be destroyed? Do you want to know what it feels like to be eaten away from the inside out?”

Everyone looked decidedly uncomfortable but no one spoke up. Whether from fear or something else Robin couldn’t be certain. He was busy studying Lyccen. They didn’t appear to be enjoying this. Honestly all the Kwami looked like this entire situation was just a bother that they couldn’t avoid.

“How dare you threaten me! Reverse this at once.” Lyccen crouched down to frown at the hero in confusion. Robin had to wonder how screwed up Superman’s thought process was that the Kwami of Anarchy couldn't seem to grasp it.

“So sorry, but that’s not my thing. I disrupt order but I can’t restore it. Digg could but given the way you’ve been treating our fellow Kwami I very much doubt you can convince him to help you, isn’t that right?” Digg just grunted from where he stood, hovering protectively around Tikki. “Perhaps if you apologize and promise to leave the Guardian alone we can come to some sort of agreement.”

“That’s coercion, I won’t stand for being manipulated and neither will the rest of the Justice League.” Robin looked around and almost laughed. At this point even Green Lantern seemed to see that this was a lost cause. No one spoke up.

“Hmm, well I guess I can’t help you then. Once Digg’s made up their mind they rarely change it. Guess you’re stuck as you are.” Lyccen didn’t sound smug or happy, they were just stating a fact.

“That’s enough. You can’t reason with someone who won’t be reasoned with but that’s no excuse to descend to their level. Release him and return him to his original state. Now.” Mari’s voice was clear and confident, but Robin could see the way her grip tightened on Discorde and Viperion. He wasn’t sure if she was worried they would ignore her or just wouldn’t be able to do as she said.

“Yes Guardian, we hear and obey.” All five Kwami spoke in sync and suddenly Superman was back in his seat looking extremely confused while almost everyone in the room gaped at the display. Marinette’s look was oddly blank and he had a feeling she hadn’t actually expected that to work.

“Your concerns are noted if unnecessary. If it will make you feel better I will allow Batman and Wonder Woman to check in with me as I see fit to monitor the situation. You have no authority over the Miraculous, nor will you ever, but I’m not so petty as to deny you the reassurance you so obviously need.” Marinette’s voice was just the proper blend of firm, concerned, and innocent that no one could really take offense to it. It took all his self discipline to keep a straight face as Superman just stared at her, looking hopelessly lost and confused.

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Ko-Fi

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[abrx2002]

Prompt for day 13 of Daminette December Death

Sorry for being late was busy for a while.

Time and time again, Adrien would try and win Ladybug's heart by being Chat Noir, knowing she already had someone in mind but to him it was only a crush. They were fated to be, he would tell him self. Then came a day when he realised that his lady's heart had already been captured.

It came to be when Sandboy had been akumatized once again and in his wake came the nightmares of others. His lady and he fought together trying avoiding the nightmare sand and defeat the akumatized victim. In his rush to end the fight he made a mistake which lead to Ladybug getting the nightmare sand allover her.

As the dust clear up came to life her nightmare. Before them lied Robin, partner to Batman, in all his glory before a sword was plunged into by a woman he didn't know(Talia). Ladybug's anguished screams could be heard all over Paris. Though she knew it was a fake it all seemed too real the smell of blood and the taste of iron in the air. The sound of the sword being plunged through flesh with her beloved's grunts of pains being heard. She could not help the tears that came from her bluebell eyes.

It was when Chat was hit into a building that she came back to her senses and went to defeat Sandboy. With a swing of her yoyo and the lucky charm of scissors was she able to cut the pillow which housed the akuma. With the akuma out she capture it and purified the butterfly. Next she threw up the luck charm and casted her miraculous cure that reversed the damage and removed the nightmares that had come to life.

As chat came to he asked the one question that came to his and everyone's mind that had watched Alya's live cast. She turned to the camera and to chat and said "That is my Robin, the one that has captured my heart and is one of the reasons you and I will never be Chat." With that she threw her yoyo and swung away.

On a balcony above a bakery, sat a girl red eyed from crying tears of grief looking at a laptop waiting for a video call to connect. When it did she started to cry tears of relief and joy to see the face of a boy with her black hair and emerald green eyes. That whole night they talked about what happened and the realization that the girl came to see.

The next day at Dupont high school around lunch came a black car that no one recognized. As the car slowed out came a handsome teenage boy around their age that had a stern face. His emerald eyes started hard at all that he look at he turned and took something from the car.

What no one expected was for Marinette the recent outcast to run up to the boy. Once he caught sight of her did his stare softened up and his frown loosen up to a slight smile like smirk. He then pulled her into a hug and kissed her on the cheek causing her to light up a fierce red. She took the little box that he pulled from the car and smiled softly at him. She then made a gesture and one could see him help put a necklace on her.

The out came the liar and her little band of mindless sheep. Lila says how this must be ploy to make Adrien jealous and wondered how far she would go to get the boy to be with her, she probably paid him she whispered. The glare that came from Damian scared them. He the says "I have all the money in the world no one can pay me to do anything and she wouldn't have to anyways she already has my heart as I do her." Marinette pitches in and says " Yeah, we only started dating yesterday but I've known him for a while now but if was only yesterday when I was hit by Akuma did I see what my feelings for him really were. Because I just couldn't bare with the thought that he died and wouldn't be in my life and if was then I saw that I wanted a life with him. So you can have the spineless guy named Adrien while I have a wonderful knight by my side." The two then walked away hand in hand smiling.

That night Robin and Ladybug could be seen flogging high together playing tagged and laughing the whole time. They could see ladybug tie up Robin and kiss him. As she release him, he went and kissed her again before the game resumed and more laughter could be heard. Chat's lady had already had someone capture her heart and it was due to the realistic showing of the death of Robin was she able to see her feeling and can now call Robin her boyfriend.

@daminette-december2019 @bluerosette23

[iggy-of-fans]

Of Being Ladybug 10

A short one this time. The one after this we will finally see some action. I wonder if any of you have guessed about the new villain? 

Previous    Master Post

The cons of falling for family

<(**)>

Marinette stared at the sewing machine on her desk. Alfred had bought it for her to welcome her home. Bruce had bought expensive sketch pads and pencils. One of Bruce’s other kids (not her brother, even if Bruce called him her brother Dick) had sent an expensive Indian fabric. Gifts to welcome her to their family.

Bruce had spent the entire day with her, giving her a proper tour, asking questions about what she liked, if she wanted a different colour for her walls, what she wanted to do with her life… It had been overwhelming to say the least. Marinette had made up her mind at a young age and always knew what she wanted to do. When Diana told her, she couldn’t be anything Marinette had been, she had been lost. And now Bruce was telling her to be herself. To be Marinette again. To do with her life as she pleased, and he promised to be there to help her pick up the pieces if it all fell apart.

Her brand new Wayne phone dinged with a message on her desk. Marinette stared. She hadn’t received a text in a year. Unlocking the screen, the pre-programmed number and name of Timothy Drake-Wayne lit up her screen.

‘Hey, little sister! I have some people that want to say hi!’

Attached was a picture of the Miracle Team. Oh!

She hit video call. With every unanswered ring her anxiety spiked. She was about to hit end when the call was answered by a pretty blonde woman with blue eyes.

“Tim! The new sister is calling!” the blonde turned and shouted off camera. Before Tim could move to get the phone Vipereon was there.

“Marinette?” his voice was calm, but inside he felt anything but. A year of radio silence. A year!

“Luka?” her voice is just above a whisper, cracking as she is filled with emotions again.

She cries silently as Luka takes in her face. She’d lost weight. Her was cut. And gone was the pink.

“My melody, are you okay?” Luka asked finally. Screw all of Paris. If she needed him, he would be there.

“I’m okay. I…” she couldn’t talk. She just took in the image of Vipereon on her screen, listened to the shouting happening off to the side of the other’s. Kwami how she missed them. Luka smiled in understanding.

“We’re not going anywhere, Marinette. Take your time.”

And so she broke down. She told Luka everything. Everything she couldn’t trust herself to tell Bruce.

And Luka listened, never interrupting. And when she was done, he told her how amazing she was. How after everything that had happened, she could still keep going. And that she would figure out what to do, but if she really needed time, to just ask for it. He promised to use the Zeta tubes as soon as possible to visit as well.

And for the first time in a year, Marinette truly smiled.

< ( ^ ^ ) >

Bruce woke up early the next morning, to see if he could convince Marinette to go to a fabric store with him. When he got to the kitchen however his whole body froze. Alfred as standing by the counter, relaxed and quiet as Marinette dashed around the kitchen in her pajamas. She had a big grin on her face as waffles and eggs and bacon and fruits all came to perfection under her practiced hands.

“Alfred…”

“She insisted that my pancakes were dry and bland. She challenged me. I did not have the heart to deny her” Alfred stated simply. A smile tugged at his lips, and Bruce knew. Alfred did this to help Marinette come back to the surface.

_ -  

After a delicious breakfast, Bruce was shocked when Marinette enthusiastically showed him her sketchpad. The page was filled with a super-hero costume, mostly white and pink, with black accents and a black hood. (Similar to Gwen Stacy from the Spider-Verse movie, but reverse colours.)

In the car, Marinette also asked about modern and contemporary dance. Bruce smiled. They made a stop at the Gotham Dance Studio. When Marinette watched the different styles of dancing, her face lit up. Bruce signed the check and promised to get her the proper footwear.

In the fabric store, you would have thought that Christmas and Easter happened all at once. Marinette’s eyes were filled with glee. She was picky with her fabrics. While her back was turned, Bruce ordered some Dress Forms and ribbons, and the fabrics she liked he got in every colour they had. When she looked at Bruce, happy with a single 2 yard roll of fabric, Bruce smiled back.

When they got her school uniform, only to be worn on exam days, Marinette also got a tour of the facility. The school was massive, with three buildings denoting the different school levels. The tech was also out of the world amazing, with teachers using holo-screens instead of whiteboards, or blackboards like in Europe. Kids walked around with school approved and funded pads. Marinette felt very backwater hill-Billy right then.

When they got back, Alfred showed them a new room, set up while they were out. Bruce rubbed the back of his neck when Marinette balked at the dress forms and fabric. It was next to Damien’s art room, filled to the brim with paints and brushes. It was above Dick’s gymnastic training room. Marinette could only stare.

-_

The rest of the week went by in a similar manner. Bruce took the time to personally show Marinette around Gotham, talking about the history of the city, and it’s criminals. He took her to the office, introduced himself to her boss. Lucius Fox showed her, her new costume.

And finally, on Friday night, Batman patrolled with Knave at his side.

Marinette went to bed that morning with a big smile on her face. In her hand was her phone, a guitar melody floating quietly through the room.

In Germany, Jason groggily opened his eyes.

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[romansleftshoulderpad]

Sweet Dreams are Made of This

Another continuation of the WCBI AU! Just wanted to write a small one-shot of them being teenagers for once. :D

(Reading the Origins arc is not required to understand this fic outside of one or two sentences)

Words: 3,048

Warnings: NSFW mentions, copious amounts of making out, allusion to the crusades, mentions of neutering, killing mention (in the form of jokes)

Ships: Romantic Remile, Platonic NaRemile, platonic LAMP

Tags: @fandermom @patchworkofstars @poisonedapples @hogwarts-my-love @opaque-puppet @omni-hamiltrash @darling-elm @jynxlovesluck @madly-handsome @strickenwithclairvoyance @limitededitionsanderssidesblog @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @ab-artist  @sometimeswritingsometimesdying @because-were-fam-ily @gattonero17 @analogical-mess @joaniejustwokeup @whycantihavemorethan32characters

---

Remy walked into school with an old pair of fleece space pants he had stolen from Logan and a night mask with the words “Lights Out” painted on sitting on top of his head. He always claimed to participate in school dress-up days out of irony, but anyone who knew him well knew better.

He smiled as Emile stepped out of the car next to him, dressed head to toe in a Stitch onesie with matching blue Converse. His heart melted as he took in the sight of his boyfriend. “Aloha,” he teased, stepping closer and greeting his boyfriend with a gentle kiss.

“No PDA in the parking lot!” Narcissa yelled, interrupting their moment. Emile giggled as Remy kissing him again while flipping her off. “You two are disgusting.”

“Disgustingly cute maybe,” Remy said with a wink. He looked up and down at her Falling in Reverse pajamas. “Has anyone told you punk is dead?”

“Has anyone told you that I don’t give a shit?” she asked with a smile as she pulled her hair back into a ponytail, showing off the multitude of piercings she wore. “Plus, Roman roped me into this whole thing. I’m sure he’s running late in an Olaf onesie somewhere.”

The trio walked through the school gate. “I’m sure he’s already in the chorus room,” Remy said. “God knows he loves to be early.”

Narcissa groaned. “Remember when he made us get up at six for a chorus concert?”

“I have never wanted to kill him more than I had at that moment.”

“I’m the only thing stopping you two from killing each other,” Narcissa bragged with a laugh.

“Only because you’re going to kill one of them first,” Emile laughed. “Now, of course, I’d never tell you to bring harm to Roman, I’d just like to suggest you keep my boyfriend alive.”

Narcissa laughed as she looked Remy up and down as if scanning him. She winked at Emile. “No promises.”

Emile pouted and Remy swooped in with a quick kiss. It was hardly a matter of seconds before they were back to making out. Narcissa took her water bottle out of her bag and poured some of the ice-cold contents on Remy’s head.

“YOU BITCH!” he screamed, jumping back as his white shirt became halfway soaked.

“We’re getting you neutered after school.”

“I should get going,” Emile laughed, mostly dry. “I’ll see you at lunch.” He blew a kiss towards Remy and skipped off towards the science building.

Narcissa took a sip of water with a smirk. “Ah. How refreshing.” Remy punched her in the arm.

+++

Virgil always loved to go all out for pajama day, so it was no surprise to see him in plaid pajamas with slippers and a bathrobe on. It was, however, surprising to see Logan sitting in a Batman onesie.

Virgil wolf-whistled as he sat down. “Didn’t take you for the vigilante type.”

“I’ll have you know, Bruce Wayne is a brilliant deceive.”

“And?”

Logan sighed, mumbling, “And my English teacher gives extra credit to anyone who participates.”

“You’re such a nerd,” Virgil laughed affectionately. “Princey will never let you live this down.”

Logan sighed, hitting his head against the desk. “I’m well aware.”

+++

Patton had grown used to eating lunches alone. He wasn’t particularly upset about it, in fact, he found the time alone to be peaceful. So it was quite a surprise when Emile grabbed his hand and ran with him to a crowded lunch table.

“I’m not letting my best friend eat alone on this momentous holiday,” he proclaimed.

“It’s... it’s not a holiday,” Patton stammered but no argument could stop Emile from sitting Patton down between himself and Roman.

“Are those Christmas Pajamas?” Logan asked, scanning him with knitted eyebrows.

“It’s never too early to celebrate Christmas!” Roman said, fully clad in a Pikachu onesie.

“Halloween was last week,” Virgil and Logan both argued.

“And then Christmas!” Roman yelled.

“Forgetting something there, babe?”

“In this house, we don’t stan Thanksgiving,” Narcissa said, biting into a slice of pizza.

Logan looked at her for a long second before taking a sip of Virgil’s soda. “I will never understand today’s youth.”

“You’re seventeen. And a coke stealing thot.”

“I’m the thot here?” Logan asked, pointing at Emile and Remy. Emile was sitting on Remy’s lap, legs around his waist as they made out.

Roman gagged, covering Patton’s eyes with his hand. “That’s practically foreplay.”

“I’m calling the vet,” Narcissa said, her phone held to her ear. “Getting this horny bitch neutered.”

“Who wants my cousins dick?” Virgil teased. “EMILE PICANI, YOU PERV, PUT YOUR HAND DOWN!”

“You’re corrupting the innocent child,” Roman scolded.

“I’m fifteen.”

“Exactly. You are small like baby.”

“You’re only three years older than me.”

“Three cold and hardening years,” he said pressing a hand to his chest and moving his forearm to his forehead dramatically. “You’ll understand when you’re my age. You’re basically a sixth-grader.”

“I’m a tenth grader.”

“Being an asshole to Sophomores,” Logan laughed. “Another thing you’ll understand when you’re his age.”

“I thought Juniors are the ones who are supposed to be mean to Sophomores.”

“No, no, no,” Virgil said. “Juniors hate freshman.”

“This is exhausting,” Patton groaned.

“You know what’s not exhausting?” Narcissa asked, jumping up onto the bench. “Going to a party at my house.”

Patton, Logan, Roman, and Virgil all exchanged glances. Virgil pulled his bathrobe down over his arms as Patton ghosted his fingers over his eye.

“How many people?” Roman asked.

“Just us,” Narcissa said. “I’ll give rides to anyone who needs it.”

“My mom doesn’t let me ride with student drivers,” Patton said sadly.

Narcissa nudged his foot and winked. “She doesn’t need to know.”

“What’s your plan for dealing with He Who Shall Not Be Named and his dreidel?” Virgil asked.

“If anyone gets a boner I’m kicking them out,” she said. “And I mean anyone. Logan gets a boner? They’re out.”

“Dreidel,” Roman laughed. “I just got that.”

“My house, after school. I’ll get Dad to order some pizzas.”

“Pizza from Papa Draco,” Roman said.

“If you call him that tonight, I will kill you.”

“Logan, write my will.”

+++

Patton didn’t like lying to his mom. Well, it wasn’t exactly a lie he was at a friend’s house after all, but he wasn’t truthful about the reasons why. He hated lying, but he didn’t want this to be the first trial of whether or not his powers work over the phone. He sat in the back of Narcissa’s car with Virgil while Logan sat in the front.

“So, Patton,” Narcissa said, “house rules are simple. Don’t swear too loudly and try not to spill anything on the carpet. Oh- especially nothing purple. Remy spilt grape juice once and he was banned for a month.”

“True story,” Virgil verified. “He wouldn’t stop pouting about it. You would have thought he was banned from seeing you or something.”

“Was this the legendary Draco party I keep hearing about but never get details on?” Logan asked.

“It’s one thing Remy and I have in common,” she teased. “What happens at our parties, stay at our parties.”

“Should I be worried?”

“No,” Narcissa said.

“Yes,” Virgil replied.

Patton felt a knot twist in his stomach and sink into him like an anchor. This was going to be a long night...

All three cars arrived at roughly the same time, allowing the group to follow Narcissa as she unlocked the front door. “Dad! I’m home!” she yelled. “And I even brought all my male whores with me!”

“Don’t get pregnant!” he yelled back from somewhere deep within the house. “Pizza’s on the stove!”

“Aww fuck yeah,” she said, grabbing a box. “Thot, Hoe, you grab the other two.”

Patton stood in mild surprise as Remy and Emile immediately followed suit. Then he remembered lunch and was less shocked. He followed everyone upstairs towards a door painted black.

Narcissa’s room was just about what Patton expected from a friend of Roman’s who wore all black and probably ten earrings at a time. The walls were painted black and dark blue. However what he did not expect was a large blue, pink, and white flag covering most of the wall above her bed. Patton smiled and Narcissa nudged his shoulder, “Got a demisexual one for Roman for Christmas. I can send you the link to the Etsy shop I use if you want some pride shit. You’d look cute with a rainbow lapel pin.”

Patton laughed, settling between her and Virgil as all of them took a seat around a circular purple rug on her wood floors. Emile passed around paper plates and they all started grabbing slices of pizza.

“Let’s play a game,” Remy suggested with a sly smirk. “Spin the bottle?”

“I think we’ve seen enough kissing for one lifetime,” Logan said. Roman stuck his finger down his throat and gagged.

“Good old fashioned game of truth or dare?” Virgil suggested. “Think of it as a housewarming for Patton.”

“Oh boy.”

“Oh boy, indeed,” Logan laughed, a sly grin growing upon his face. “I’ll go first-“

“Nope!” Remy yelled. “Roman! Truth or dare!”

“I was going to ask first!” Logan protested.

“House rules,” Remy said, “he who wears the leather jacket goes first!”

“He who shall go fuck himself,” Logan murmured earning a laugh from Virgil.

“Truth,” Roman said.

“Who was the last person you had a crush on?” Remy asked with an innocent smile but devil eyes hidden behind his sunglasses.

Roman glared daggers at him. “Jon Cozart. Patton, truth or dare?”

“That’s a lie!”

“Prove it,” he said through clenched teeth. “Patton, truth or dare.” Roman never took his eyes off of Remy and Narcissa.

“Uh, truth,” Patton mumbled weakly.

“I dare you to kick Remy’s ass.”

“He said ‘truth’, Roman,” Emile said sternly. 

“Fine. What’s your favorite color?”

Patton fidgeted with his sleeves. “Blue. Emile, truth or dare.”

“Dare,” Emile said, leaning into Remy’s side.

Patton swore under his breath as he tried to think of something but his mind was drawing a blank. Virgil tapped his knee, prompting Patton to lean into him. He whispered something causing both of them to laugh. “I dare you to stop making out with Remy for an hour.”

Emile rolled his eyes and grabbed his phone. “Once this timer is over I’m sucking his dick in front of every single one of you.”

Narcissa threw a pizza crust at him. “I’m neutering both of you.”

Roman rolled a water bottle towards him. “Since you wanna be so fucking thirsty.”

Emile gave a hand gesture that Patton was honestly surprised to see from his best friend. (How well did he actually know anyone here?) “Narcissa, truth or dare?”

She bit into a piece of pizza contemplatively. “Dare.”

“Exchange an article of clothing with someone of your choice.”

“Virgil, hand over your hoodie,” she demanded. As Virgil sighed and took off his jacket, she made quick work of taking off her bra from under her shirt. She threw it at Virgil and snatched his hoodie within the same second.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he said. “I’m not putting this on.”

“Virgil, truth or dare?” she asked.

“Tru-“

“I dare you to put the bra on.”

“I picked truth.”

“Hmmm, I don’t think you did,” Narcissa said with an innocent smile, pulling up the hood of Virgil’s jacket.

“Sounded like dare to me,” Remy said.

“He said dare,” Roman confirmed with a smirk.

“Princey,” Virgil said as he took off his shirt, “you are fucking dead to me.” Remy took careful note of the eyes raking over every inch of Virgil’s skin as he struggled with the bra.

“Do you need help?” Patton asked.

“No- No, I got- I can do this- I-“ Virgil sighed. “I need help.”

Patton rolled his eyes and did the clasp in one easy move, handing Virgil his shirt to put back on. “Not that hard.”

“Oh-Em-Gee, you know what this means?” Remy asked loudly with a look of false shock. Patton’s eyes went wide and his heart started racing. “Patton’s a fucking wizard.” He relaxed slightly but Narcissa made sure to take his hand where no one could see as she rubbed gentle circles against his skin.

“This wire is a bitch,” Virgil said.

“You’re a bitch,” Narcissa corrected.

And so the game continued into the night. Some small secrets revealed and many ridiculous dares completed. When an alarm went off on Emile’s phone everyone groaned loudly. He gave Remy a gentle peck on the cheek and they continued playing.

“Who wants to stay the night?” Narcissa asked with a yawn. Roman and Virgil both quickly volunteered while everyone else gave regretful glances. Patton sunk in on himself slightly.

“I, uh, need a ride home,” Patton said quietly.

“You live by Emile, right?” He nodded. “Cool, I can drive you.”

“If I may be at your mercy as well-“

“Yes, Logan, I’ll drive you home. If you don’t mind stopping by my place for a few minutes first. I need your input on something.”

“Oh?” Emile asked curiously.

“You’re not getting anything out of me,” Remy stated.

Emile moved closer, putting his hand on Remy’s knee and slowly dragging his fingers towards his hip. “Anything?” Emile asked innocently, pressing his body against Remy’s.

Narcissa pointed at Remy’s dick. “If that gets hard I swear to fuck I’m banning you from my house again.”

“We’ll have more fun at my house anyway,” Remy said with a smirk.

Virgil put his hands over his ears. “LA LA LA I DON’T HEAR ANYTHING NOPE NOTHING IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.”

“Oh please,” Remy groaned. “You’re not the only one here who has to deal with people in this room wanting to suck your cousin’s dick.”

“Patton,” Narcissa said. “Can you help me bring the boxes downstairs?”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” he uttered, grabbing two empty boxes into his arms. Once they were in the kitchen, Narcissa put the boxes on the stove and gently laid a hand on Patton’s shoulder.

“Are you okay?” she asked. “I saw Remy get under your skin a little- he doesn’t mean anything by it, I’m sure he doesn’t even know.”

“Remy’s... fine,” Patton said. “I’m just a little paranoid.”

“And that’s okay,” she said. “But I want you to know you’re safe here. Obviously, no one is going to ask you to disclose that information, but if you ever did, you’re one of us now and that means we’re going to support you. All of us.”

“How did you, you know, talk to them about it?” Patton asked shyly.

Narcissa smiled, soft and genuine. It was the first time Patton saw her as anything other than another scary upperclassman. “I know I give Remy a lot of shit but, if not for him and Roman, I don’t know if I ever would have come out. But they helped me,” she explained. “Remy’s easy. He makes it all seem so effortless, you know, using the right name and pronouns.”

“And Roman?” he asked nervously.

“Roman helped make me who I am. He’s the reason I stayed in chorus. He’s the reason I came out to my parents and why I get to be myself today.” Her smile grew a bit brighter. “I’d do anything for him.” She leaned in closer to him and whispered, “Plus, it was nice knowing Roman’s charm had no ulterior motivation.”

“Motivation?” Patton asked.

Narcissa grabbed the boxes from the stove and winked at Remy who stood at the base of the stairs. “I think that’s a story for another party,” she teased. “Preferably one with more alcohol.”

“Um, yeah,” Patton mumbled.

“Almost ready?” Remy called out.

“Emile’s a lucky guy,” was all she said. “Goodnight, Patton.”

Patton was faced with the familiar feeling of reading a new book, gears turning as the reader is faced with unfamiliar worlds and characters. Narcissa was something far greater than a new protagonist; she was something mysterious and fantastical, a great dragon hiding far from the edge of the kingdom.

He got into Remy’s car, sitting in the back with Logan. It was a silent drive, Remy preferring to have the radio off to stay focused on the road, with only the sound of the wind coming from the small way Emile’s window was cracked open and the gentle tapping of Logan’s fingers against his book bag. Patton held his bag to his chest, growing desperate to take off his binder. It was calming and peaceful, a state of tranquility men have killed to achieve.

When they pulled in to Emile’s driveway, Remy walked him to the front door. Patton and Logan watched in silence as the two lovers held hands tightly and pressed a gentle kiss to each other’s lips. It wasn’t as passionate and hungry as they usually were in public and Patton almost felt awful for looking, yet the tender moments of domesticity are what draw us in and capture our hearts. Patton couldn’t look away until they were once more two separate individuals.

“I imagine we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other,” Logan said stoically.

“That’s what friends do, isn’t it?”

Logan let out a laugh, but no joy or humor, and twisted his face in such a way that was unreadable in the shadows of the car. “Friends,” Logan repeated. Patton felt a tug at his heart that he couldn’t quite place. Whatever it was he was feeling, he certainly wasn’t a fan. “It’s... nice, I suppose, all four of us being in the same room with no powers or arcane beings to worry about.”

“Oh! Speaking of, Morality-”

Logan pressed a finger to Patton’s lips to silence him. “I was just commenting on how nice this break is. Please do not disrupt that, this is not the time for us to be heroes.”

“Right,” Patton said. “Sorry, Logan.”

Remy and Emile met for one final kiss as Emile unlocked his front door with his free hand. They said their goodbyes and goodnight wishes as Emile disappeared behind the door.

“Do not apologize, Patton,” he instructed.

Remy got back into the car and the rest of the evening was silent, peaceful. The rest of the evening was what men kill for.

[chibivesicle]

Golden Kamuy chapter 224-226: Pirates, serial killers and a killer rabbit’s much awaited backstory.

For the sake of time, I will combine my summary of the past few chapters that I missed while I was traveling and I don’t want to break it into smaller bits.

Chapter 224 had a color cover featuring none other than our favorite solitary wildcat sniper Ogata.  I personally love the retro look for this!  It looks like a classic comic from the 1960s with the odd color scheme and the handwritten shaded boxes.

The one box highlights the “100″ in Ogata’s first name as the kanji hyaku and the rest in latin letters. 

The text refers to “Come on, Let’s Go! On wildcat Ogata’s sure-hit express! (one step forward!).  Thanks to discussions on discord the phrase is in reference to the cat moving and delivery company in Japan, Yamato transport aka 黒ねこ (Kuroneko).  A huge shout out to tsurumineko for translating the pun based on their “target hitting/sure hitting” level of service.  I was previously familiar with the company in part due to my love of cats and noticing it everywhere when I’ve visited Japan.

Here is the official logo with a mom cat carrying a kitten and their official HQ (from wikipedia).

I can’t help but wonder if this implies that Ogata is a very reliable character in regards to performing his duties or that he hopes to one day make sure bring his own “kitten” home.  Will Ogata be the one to take Asirpa back home to her kotan, Huci and her family? Either way, it implies that Ogata will get the job done, just like Kuroneko will deliver that package on time for you!  He’ll snipe that target, he’ll get that info, he’ll make sure your mission is a success etc.

The retro look also makes me think of comics like these:

Batman works a bit outside of the law and has that dark edgy feel to it and Ogata also wears a cloak!  Plus, look at the style of Batman and Robin, they’ve got quite the build just like our GK boys do.

Anyways, the cover is a combination of Kuroneko delivery and Batman.

Chapter 224 starts at the Uryu river as Asirpa is lighting a fire to attract a swan to it so that they can have it for dinner.  For some odd reason, Noda chooses to rehash the Asirpa is going to kill a cute/beautiful animal for dinner.  She pulls Sugimoto’s head when she sarcastically replies to him that they will gently grab the swan. . . .

I don’t understand this need to return to early Sugimoto-Asirpa humor.  Shiraishi has returned from pooping and a swan approaches as the two of them freak out upon noticing the other.  I personally find Shiraishi’s concern valid - swans are total assholes, so I’d also want to be upset at a swan at close range.

Asirpa beats it and they begin to prepare it for dinner in a temporary shelter as early on in the manga.  This is a repeat of when they first started working together and ate the deer that Sugimoto failed to shoot.  The three of them in Asirpa’s tent cooking some dinner.

Keep in mind Sugimoto didn’t want to eat the otter head etc etc and he still has issues with things beyond brains.

This time Asirpa really highlights the need to give it the Inaw offerings and place the head in the river.

Sugimoto still can’t eat animal heads and still looks awkward.  However in contrast to chapter 25, after eating Shiraishi begins to explain what he’s observed from Heita’s belongings.  He explains to us in a flashback what Heita told them about gold panning.  He knows now that gold from different rivers looks different so there is a way to identify where it came from.  And now, we get to see Shiraishi shine as he begins to help them lay out a new strategy for finding the gold without the skins.

He first off explains what we already know about the “Noppera-bou incident” which I find interesting based on the fact that he uses Noppera-bou - I wonder if Shiraishi thinks someone else killed the 7 Ainu men and Wilk was moving the gold, but not involved as Wilk told that to Sugimoto.

Shiraishi points out there may be people who know where the gold is hidden - and since supposedly Wilk moved it all by himself, he wouldn’t be able to move it that far. 

He then continues to state, they just need to find the region where the gold dust was from and look close by.  Sugimoto is not convinced by Shiraishi’s line of reasoning at all.  He has a look of total annoyance and he’s like - “we” can’t identify a hidden gold dust stash etc.  I’m disappointed that Asirpa simply chimes in that he’s an idiot as she eats the swan head that Sugimoto wouldn’t.

Shiraishi has to remind them what they learned from Tanigaki back when he was injured and recovering with Huci at Asirpa’s kotan.  Part of the gold was taken from the stash by Wilk and the boat capsized on Lake Shikotsu.  Therefore, they know where a sample of the gold is.  As soon as Shiraishi reminds them of what they know from Tanigaki, he catches Asirpa’s attention and she takes him seriously.

She then summarizes where he’s been going with this - they likely won’t have the skins so they need another game plan.  Bravo Shiraishi!  He has created a plan B for them, better than Sugimoto’s “um maybe we will sweep in and steal the skins from Hijikata or Tsurumi . . .”

Sugimoto immediately rejects Shiraishi’s plan on the fact it is too hard and whines about it.  Asirpa at least has a well thought out and rational reply that the lake is too deep, so they can’t get the evidence.

This leads into a flashback with Heita and our pirate convict at Lake Shikotsu the previous year.  We get a “typical” reveal of his character as he’s completely in the nude about to dive into the cold spring water.  Boutarou the Pirate’s real name is Oosawa Fusatarou and this reveals some of his background as a talented swimmer and diver.

He’s got some rather unique eyebrows - reverse Koito ones and he reveals that he’s going to dive for 35 minutes.  He then uses special breathing techniques to get as much oxygen into his system and he’s got large feet, webbed hands (due to cell death not occurring between his digits during fetal development btw) and he became a convict by drowning people and stealing their stuff.

By having a rope tied to his ankle, Heita can signal to him when his time is up and he can come up from his deep free dive.

The chapter then returns to Shiraishi pointing out that Heita and Mr. Pirate already found the gold.  This means that Shiraishi took the time to look at all of Heita’s samples and that they know the location and it is linked to one of the still remaining convicts.

Shiraishi then reveals that he knew that there was a guy who was intense, physically robust and pushed himself to the limits - so if he could dive to find the gold - he would be the most likely to succeed. The flashback shows that he was able to dive down to Wilk’s canoe and that Heita found at least 4 locations for the gold dust.

With the list of rivers, it means the gold dust found in the canoe can be traced to these four rivers: Toppu River, Saru River, Sorachi River and Shiriuchi River.  I have labeled each of those rivers on the map of Heita’s description of rivers that can be panned for gold and included a few cities for reference.  In yellow is the current approximate location of Asirpa, Sugimoto and Shiraishi on the Uryu river.  The rivers where the gold dust is from are in magenta.  The Toppu River is the closest one to them and the Sorachi and Saru Rivers are reasonably close.

The only river that is further away is the Shiriuchi River fairly close to Hakodate.  Google maps has the Shiriuchi River labelled as the Chinai River (I checked with translator GlassHouses for clarification - apparently it can also be read as the Chinai River and there is one located in Shikoku - thanks for the help!) so if you try to find it in English it won’t be labelled correctly.  Lake Shirotsu is the large lake on the map just next to my arrow pointing to Sapporo.  Only put on a few cities for easy reference, Otaru, close to Asirpa’s kotan, Ashikawa and Kushiro. 

The chapter then ends with Sugimoto holding the list of rivers as his eyes are white.  He figures if they head to those rivers, since the pirate knows where the gold is from they just need to catch a pirate [and skin him].  Stop looking so well murder-y Sugimoto.

The tag line at the end states that every river eventually leads to the sea . . . I guess this must be true in Japan perhaps, but if you live in a basin, or in the Great Lakes region of North America the lake does not lead to the sea . . . . but I digress.  This likely has to do with the pirate reference or something.

Recall that in 223, Hijikata is the one who remarks that Boutarou the pirate is making his move.

with the end of 224, it is confirmed that Boutarou is another faction entering the quest for the gold. 

Quick observations and predictions from this chapter.

1.) Ogata is about to become a key player based on his color cover (if you don’t already get that Ogata is important).  Momma cat needs to take her kittens home.

2.) Shiraishi has laid out their plan to look for the pirate.  This may lead to an alliance or Sugimoto just trying to skin him based on the ending page.  I personally think an alliance with Asirpa-Sugi-Shiraishi and Boutarou to be the most interesting. . . .

3.) Hijikata is not surprised by Boutarou’s move to enter the quest.  He was working with Heita and now we know he will likely have his own faction as well.

4.) Based on my map, some of the parties will need to visit each of these rivers in order to gather information.  With the much farther away Shiriuchi River, it takes the cast close to Hakodate.  I can see this being key in future events involving Hijikata (due to his historical death during the Battle of Hakodate), Koito, since he was kidnapped in Hakodate by Tsurumi with the help of Ogata, Tsukishima and Kikuta.  It seems like some sort of confrontation at Hakodate is in the cards.

Chapter 225 - Another convict enters the story.

So chapter 225 starts out with a clear reference to the infamous serial killer, Jack the Ripper who targeted prostitutes in Victorian London and was never caught.  Oh yay, another serial killer - just my fav type of convict. [rolls eyes] The chapter title slums seems to refer to the slums of Sapporo where alcohol and prostitution were the few releases and the area was ripe with disease and violence. 

An older woman is walking back to the inn of her client, he’s a much taller man wearing a western style of dress and a top hat.  The woman is chatting away, she explains that she used to come from a wealthy family in Nagoya, since she’s in Hokkaido, it either implied her family was on the losing side during the Meiji revolution or that her late husband was on the losing side sent up to Hokkaido.

She’s clearly flush with drink and she turns to notice that he may be Japanese based on her “Huh? You’r Japa . . .” as he then grabs her by the face and proceeds to slit her throat and then cut up her body.  As she struggled we get to see her hand pulled his jacket open a bit revealing yet another tattoo - so yep, another convict.

The following morning shows Sapporo police officers trying to keep the press away from a covered corpse, the woman covered with a straw mat.  A member of the press is confirming what happened with a very suspicious looking police officer. Apparently, there was prostitute who was killed in the same location within the past month or less e.g. indicated by the 31st of last month (we don’t know how far into the current month things are).  The man is revealed to be a criminal inspector and he has a shaded face and interesting wrinkles under his eyes.

From the start, this criminal inspector seems to be quite tall compared to the reporter.  The next page reveals his identity as he’s trying to get a scoop on the story by bribing the inspector with food.  The inspector’s face is covered as he simply tells him to shut up as he turns away.

The action then shifts to the temple where Hijikata and Co. are staying as we the readers are reminded that the man is Ishikawa Takuboku, the reporter who meet up with the group back when they had their photos taken before Abashiri in Kitami.  Most of the group went to the photo studio with Hijikata while Shiraishi went off to the red light district with Takuboku instead as they hung out with sex workers and got very intoxicated on Hijikata’s money.  The drunken Ishikawa blurts out that Hijikata is going to buy up newspapers to control the press.

Shiraishi knew that the Russo-Japanese war resulted in sales of papers but Ishikawa revealed that the change was due to the addition of pictures!  Hence part of the reason why having a photo of Asirpa will be important to his Republic of Ezo plan.  Again this exchange between Shiraishi and Takuboku-chan illustrates that Shiraishi is a pretty observant and smart guy.  He’s def aware of more things than people give him credit for.

He’s finally back reporting to Hijikata and asks for more spending money.  Unfortunately, he’s trying to get money from Nagakura who is having none of this and reminds him bluntly that if he wants money it needs to be information not printed in the papers.

Ushiyama makes a comment on how gruesome the murders are and wonders if the man has some issue with whores.  Ishikawa comments that it is “unfortunate” since he hopes the man is apprehended quickly since he currently has a prostitute in the area that he is rather fond of.  Wow, way to show how you care about women trapped in sex work Ishikawa . . . that the were likely sold into but I digress.

The English translation has Ushiyama refer to sex workers as whores, and Ishikawa’s use of prostitutes implies a little more respect, but maybe not since he’s concerned his current interest in Sapporo may get his fav woman killed and he won’t be able to sleep with her any more.  What is clear is both men seem awkward in their opinion of how women in sex work should be perceived.

This is clear based on Nagakura’s reply to Ishikawa’s statement that he hopes he dies in a ditch.  Hijikata completely ignores the info and just asks Kadokura if there was a convict in Abashiri who fits the description for the current killer.

Kadokura doesn’t reveal the name of any other information about the killer.  Clearly, this information will be revealed when it becomes relevant and Hijikata is concerned that if this man is a convict and he is making such violent headlines that Tsurumi and his men in the 27th will certainly realize that they should investigate as well.  It seems after Abashiri, Hijikata is taking Tsurumi as seriously as possible as well as the arrival of Ariko into his group after he was beaten up by Usami.

Hijikata’s reference to the 27th hunting the possible convict leads to another mallard flying.  The final part of the panel shows Ogata aiming at the duck.  Ogata fires at the duck.

The duck flies on, but Ogata simply exhales as he works the bolt with his left hand.  He’s looking smug yet determined again.  We don’t seem him exhale like this frequently, but it does remind me of his “I shot the woodcocks” proud face or a focused “hmmph”  this is what I expected look.

The final panel shows two tail feathers from the duck fall to the ground both having been shot by Ogata.  It is clear that Ogata is pleased with his progress on re-learning how to shoot ducks with his left eye.  He’s making good progress - I’m not sure if we will get to see him make a successful kill in the manga or if Noda will keep it for a big reveal scene where he makes an amazing shot.

There are two ways to look at this i.) Ogata knows he’s getting better and he’ll let others see that he can still snipe and that he’s still a sniper.  ii.) Ogata gets better, but publicly doesn’t want others to know he’s back to “normal” and uses his injury as a way to hide his regained sniping ability as his wildcard.

Both of these can be advantages for Ogata - everyone assumes he’s a sniper and forgets about all of his other skills.  Or he makes others assume he’s weaker and than uses that to defeat them - an obvious sucker is Sugimoto - Sugimoto would look at one-eyed Ogata and think, “well if I can get close enough to break his arm again I can totally finish him off . . .” as Ogata then snipes Sugimoto again . . . (okay, not likely to happen just like that but you get my idea).

The chapter then shifts to an unnamed village along the Sea of Okhotsk.  This is a vague descriptor, and as my map indicates it can be along this entire coast of the northeastern part of Hokkaido.  Yay!  The panel is quite simple as it shows a dead horse laying down.

The final panel shows Usami looking down upon the horse.  Stares down at the horse as his eyes are white around the iris. As his head shifts a little to his left.

It is clear by the next page that Usami is the likely cause of death for the horse.  A random man yells “Who did this?  Who killed my horse!” as it shows Usami shuffling off rather quickly to avoid being caught in the act of horse murder.

Tsurumi is then outside of a shop that sells newspapers reading a newspaper with great interest. He then speaks to Kikuta who is nearby, telling him that the murders in Sapporo appear to be the work of an escaped tattooed convict.

He orders Kikuta to go to Sapporo to look into the convict.  And that he should take Superior Private Usami with him.  Wherever Tsurumi is along the coast is unclear, but Tsurumi seems to think staying on the eastern coast will allow him to find Asirpa from that area.  Plus, he has sent Tanigaki in search of them as well. . . Kikuta replies yes sir rather calmly in a typical Kikuta fashion.

Usami walks up behind him with completely black eyes when Tsurumi tells him to take Usami with him. . . Kikuata can’t be too happy wit this as his reply is hesitant . . .” . . . yes, sir . . .” as he gives him the stink eye. 

Usami then speaks up highlighting that he really doesn’t want to go with Kikuta.  This is quite bold from a superior private, but Usami seems like he can get away with this in front of Tsurumi and Kikuta almost smirks as he feels the same way.  Tsurumi doesn’t even turn to reply to Kikuta, he simply replies that Usami will be of use to him in Sapporo and Kikuta looks curious as to in what context Usami will be helpful.

Tsurumi figures that Hijikata’s group will also move there to investigate due to the newspaper coverage and that they should avoid them if all possible.  Tsurumi doesn’t want them running into each other. 

This is interesting as Kadokura is currently in Hijikata’s group and can easily recognize Usami so that may come into play.  Usami beat the crap out of Ariko so he’ll be tied to the situation.  Ogata is back with Hijikata for now and has a previous work history with Kikuta and there is enough information for the two of them to have some sort of showdown/reunion etc.

With somewhat erratic screen tones behind Usami and a equally creepy font he declares that running into Hijikata’s group is fine.  He concludes that Ariko will be a useless spy and that he will just kill them all and steal everything - problem solved.

And with that Usami gives off super creepy vibes at 110%.

He and Kikuta don’t get along at all - when they were chasing after Toni Anji which required a well thought out plan he was useless and whiny and Kikuta couldn’t take it and also trusted Ariko to succeed.

When they were chasing Asirpa off of the ferry - Usami’s solution was to simply kill Huci and Kikuta was clearly appalled by how Usami’s mind seems to work.  It was clear when Usami beat up Ariko that Kikuta was both hurt and torn about the entire situation.  This likely is setting up some sort of disagreement between the two men.  Kikuta is a sauve, sexy man, who appears a bit cocky at times but he gives off a vibe of really caring for others and avoids harming others who are not involved in things.

The next page reveals that indeed both groups are hunting down the convict in Sapporo.

Hijikata has brought his entire entourage.  He leads the group followed by Ushiyama and Nagakura.  Kadokura, Toni, Kantarou, Kirawus and then Ariko follow behind.  Ariko looks back at Ogata watching them from a distance and taking up the rear as he prefers.

Kikuta leads with Usami behind, his face partially obscured by his visor of his army cap - Kikuta is too sexy to every wear a hat and mess up his excellent hairstyle.

It is interesting that even when you zoom in a bit, Ogata has his blank expression as Ariko nervously looks back at him.  He was nervous to see Ogata and he likely thinks Ogata is onto him as a spy or maybe even thinks that Ogata is still working for Tsurumi.  

It looks like Kirawus is watching Kadokura - I wonder if he’s onto Kadokura playing dumb.  The two of them may get drunk and joke around, but I think Kirawus has been watching both Kadokura and also used him to get closer to Hijikata.  I think both of these men are carrying secrets that will be important as time progresses in the manga.  I just can’t shake the feeling that Kirawus knows more about the Ainu murders and I have a theory that he keeps his forehead covered b/c of some scar or something from the incident where the 7 Ainu men were murdered.

The next page has present day Tsurumi thinking of something disturbing based on the screen tones around him and it reveals a flashback, in Meiji 28 (1895) and back in Tsurumi’s home area of Shibata, Niigata.  The flashback starts with someone asking Tokushirou, Tsurumi’s first name, about how the battlefield was.

The next page reveals Tsurumi talking with a man who appears to be his martial arts teacher for jujitsu.  Tsurumi tells his teacher that he observed something interesting in war.  Despite the vast amount of training that soldiers underwent before battle, most of the men actively avoided trying to kill the enemy soldiers.

Tsurumi goes on to state that during the American Civil war troops went to great lengths to avoid killing each other (as the nature of a civil war that split families apart at times) and he spends the rest of the page discussing that most humans will really try to avoid killing each other, even in the case of war.

This really is the heart of one of the major issues of GK.  What happens to men who go off to war and the actually kill others?  How do men do this and how to they move forward (or in the case of many of the elite men of Tsurumi’s 27th) how do those men get sucked into killing and do all of the dirty deeds for him.

This gets at the concept of how a person can be turned into a killer and be able to go to great lengths to kill and in this quest for the gold - who can serve Tsurumi best.

After perhaps working or training with his sensei, Tsurumi has changed into his uniform and is telling children nearby (perhaps students of the dojo) to be careful of Master Takeda’s horse is ill tempered (confirmation of the identity of the man he was just talking to) and that it may kick them.  The fact that Usami killed a horse in the present time and then there is a flashback about a horse seems to indicate this will be something to do with Usami’s past.

A voice then calls to Tsurumi, calling him Mister Tokushirou, indicating a person familiar enough with him to call him by his first name but with respect.

This flashback now has revealed not one, but two people close enough to Tsurumi to use his first name either as a senior, his sensei and this unknown yet clearly younger person.  Tsurumi responds, that he recognizes who the person is - revealed to be a younger Usami.  He tells him that he’s gotten taller again, and then calls him by his first name, Tokishige.

Usami is blushing as he looks at Tsurumi before he replies yes, still blushing with black eyes as it reveals that he is Usami Tokishige, 14 years old. This means Usami was born in 1881.

Of course the editorial tagline mentions that he is yet another of the boys pining for Tsurumi.

Chapter 225 ends with several things as the main points:

1.) The next convict is a serial killer and is in Sapporo.  This will lead to a likely encounter between Hijikata’s group and Kikuta and Usami.

How will this showdown happen?  I’m hoping that Kadokura notices Usami and tips off the rest of the group and KIkuta and Ogata catch up.  They seem to be more morally centered members of the 27th concerned about others who can get caught in the crossfire.

2.) The manga is back to the concept of the ability to kill, what makes a killer? what makes a murder? and what makes a soldier?  Tsurumi wants men willing to go into the depths of hell with him to accomplish his goals.

Tsukishima will see this to the end - he’s officially dead on the outside and inside after his Koito confrontation.

Nikaido is losing all of his humanity to be a test subject for a new and improved solider.

Usami has clearly had a vibe that something is totally off with him since he was first introduced.  The fact that Koito was groomed by Tsurumi when he was 14, means that Usami’s age and blush shows that he was a previous and older Tsurumi fanboy.  The chapter ends with the idea that Tsurumi likely was involved in grooming him.

Usami is clearly a great soldier and killer for some of Tsurumi’s goals - this chapter is making it clear that Usami is “special” in the context of murder.  Or that he lacks some sort of moral compass or control in regards to murder and killing.

3.) That criminal inspector at the Sapporo police department is shady as all hell.  He could be the convict in disguise - and he’d fit the trope of the murderer working in the police so that he can’t get caught.  Or he’s a total red herring.

Chapter 226 -Sacred Ground

The chapter starts out with a brief update on the status of the Asirpa-Sugi-Shiraishi-Vasily group.  They are stopping by an Ainu kotan and Sugimoto notices another dog that looks exactly like Ryu, but isn’t Ryu.  Shiraishi is the one to remark that Ryu stayed behind as Tanigaki gave Cikapasi Nihei’s rifle so he won’t be going anywhere.  Interestingly, Sugimoto remarks that he hopes that Cikapasi and Ennoka treat Ryu well so he “let’s go” of his attachment to the rifle and move on. 

This is an odd remark from Sugimoto, since he himself needs to move on from a lot of stuff ~ he can see it in a dog’s life but not his own.

This leads to a key comment from Asirpa about Ainu dogs, that their loyalty towards owners can be a bad thing since they get jealous and ill tempered.  A Japanese man owned one and the dog was well treated but he ended up scolding it due to poor behaviour and went hunting without the dog.  The dog’s reaction to rejection was to kill of off the man’s chickens . . . Shiraishi then comments that people will do the same thing for the love of another.

The following page is the title page with the title and a young Usami and Tsurumi. Based on the fact that we know Usami is very loyal to Tsurumi and he has killed for him - I think it is clear the story about the loyal dog is Usami and Tsurumi is the man with the chickens. . . oh great - this chapter is surely getting to the root of his creepy vibes!

Usami tells him that he’s there even on a day to not train even though after he performed housework and chores to help his family he is more than willing to walk 2 hours one way to come to that very spot on the dojo grounds.

Usami’s face is completely shaded so clearly something dark is tied to that place.

The next page reveals that Usami refers to that spot as “our sacred place” as the wind dramatically blows by as Tsurumi looks at his back.

This leads to a flashback in the flashback, 2 years earlier so 1893, showing Usami’s family.  He’s 12 and he appears to have his mother and father, an older sister, younger brother and another younger sibling on his mother’s back as well. 

His father asks him if things are going well at the dojo and with his training.  He replies that Mister Tokushirou told him he’s the most talented of all the students that he’s seen there before.  Therefore, at the age of 12 he was comfortable enough to call Tsurumi by his first name - san! 

This catches the attention of his older sister and his mother as they look at him in shock and awe, his mother stopping her mending of clothing while his sister blushes.  His sister asks excitedly “Mister Tsurumi Tokushirou = Tsurumi Tokshirou-san?” followed by her having a teenage fangirl moment over him while his father looks on with shock and concern.  His mother confirms that he’s got to have talent since his father was talented too . . . I guess this implies that Tsurumi’s father was a well know ladies man and it is clear that Tsurumi is also seen as a ladies man in the area.

So, Tsurumi is clearly a charismatic, charming and a confirmed ladies’ man and is the 4th son of another man who was also very well known and must have been an important samurai family.  Usami is happy that his family are glad to hear he’s attracted the attention of an important local man.  Their family is large and it looks like since his mother is mending clothes they aren’t the richest family but they must come from a more noble/samurai background than some of our other cast members.  It looks like the Usami household is a happy and fertile one.

Clearly, Tsurumi is interested in getting to know Usami and some time later, Tsurumi is working the water wheel that his family uses to pump water for their rice paddies.  Tsurumi clearly is doing some sort of research into him and he seems to realize that using the foot powered water wheel leads to the develop strong legs.  Usami is explaining how hard the work is based on their location etc when he is interruped by another young boy.

This other boy is introduced as Takagi Tomoharu another 12 year old boy.  He really reminds me of Sugimoto a bit, that slightly messy hair and friendly look.  He clearly is another Tsurumi fanboy.

Tsurumi also calls him by his first name and asks if his father is doing well and the boy responds excitedly as Usami silently smiles with his eyes closed in the background having Tsurumi’s attention focused on another person.

Sometime after school, Tomoharu tells Usami to stay over at his house since they have training at the dojo and they can go to school the next morning.  He then adds that Tsurusumi will be at the dojo that evening!  This immediately gets Usami’s attention and he runs to the dojo yelling “Hurry, hurry!” so Usami is excited by this!

The next page shows the dojo and both boys want Tsurumi’s attention to train with each of them and Tsurumi just smiles back, again Usami’s eyes are closed.

Sometime later it shows Tsurumi in winter leaving the dojo - we don’t get the full conversation, just that Tsurumi is responding to something that Usami said. Usami will be graduating - I guess based on his age primary school - and Tsurumi who’s face is obscured asks if he will keep training at the dojo.  Usami responds with his eyes closed again stating he will have to help his father work on their family farm so it may not happen.

Tsurumi then turns and looks at him in a very friendly way telling him to continue at the dojo to become much stronger - he’ll be able to surpass Tsurumi as well based on his skills with time.

Tsurmi then states he won’t be able to visit the dojo soon, with the impending Sino-Japanese war he’s about to go off to (with Tsukishima) and finally Usami opens his eyes with concern in them as well as light in his eyes.  Usami is clearly worried about Tsurumi leaving.  All of a sudden his friend appears interrupting him and Tsurumi again telling him to go home together.  Again we don’t know what else Usami was going to say to Tsurumi . . .

The winter gives way to spring, when the school year ends and another one will begin.

We get a scene where Usami is able to pin Tomoharu down and someone tells them to stop for the day . . . maybe Tsurumi maybe not.  It is clear that just like Sugimoto’s friend Toraiji - Usami is the natural martial artist while Tomoharu will always lose to him.  Tomoharu is sulking in the dojo and Tsurumi has to ask him what’s wrong so that he and his sensei can lock up.  He reveals that he’s never been able to beat Usami before he leaves.  Tomoharu then cases after Usami who is waiting outside for him.

It looks like he told Tsurumi that he’s leaving and Tsurumi got him to approach Usami to tell him about his departure to high school? in Tokyo.  However, Usami is not surprised as he already knew his friend was leaving and tells him that he really doesn’t want to spar with him one last time.

Usami from a very dramatic angle tells hi that he doesn’t want to lose on purpose b/c he’s worried about his feelings . . . and before he finishes Tomoharu yells his reply that he shouldn’t, that wouldn’t be a real friendship, it would end it.  Usami has light and sparkle in his eyes as he says his lines and his friend sounds like a passionate young Japanese man with fighting spirit.

Tsurumi tells him that he will watch their match in the corner of the yard - the sacred place which Usami will say to Tsurmumi 2 years later. . .

The next two pages are a montage of memories of Tomoharu with Usami as he thinks to survive alone in Tokyo requires him to defeat him.  It seems that Tomoharu really enjoyed his time with Usami - but I really get the feeling that Usami just tolerated him.  It really does have this vibe of a one sided friendship, I could even see him staying over at Tomoharu’s place just to be closer to the dojo and by extension Tsurumi.

Tomoharu cries as he knows he’s fighting hard but still ends up defeated by Usami.

This scene is very much like the Sugimoto’s flashback in chapter 35 - courtship.  He met Toraji at his burnt down house on his wedding day and he attacks Sugimoto who promptly defeats him.  With his eyes full of tears, Toraji refuses to give up and goes for another round with Sugimoto as he roundly defeats him again.  This clearly is linked back to Shiraishi’s comment about humans and the people that they love.  Yes, Sugimoto is a dick to show up, make Toraiji upset, beat him and then congratulate him on his marriage which only makes Toraiji more annoyed.

Yet, in their second round ends with him declaring that he may have lost to Sugimoto in kendo and judo, but he won in the battle for Umeko’s heart. . .

This is clearly a parallel with Usami and Tomoharu and this is linked to Sugimoto.

Anyways back to 226.  Tomoharu despite being defeated pulls on Usami’s shirt and states that he’s not done yet.  The next full page panel shows Usami’s reaction -

full on murder rabbit!!!  He’s gained the white along the edge of his black pupils as he’s drooling, his veins are bursting and his entire face is contorted in rage/anger/i don’t know what else.  I call him a murder rabbit based on a nickname that the lovely Merdopsuedo came up for Usami a long time ago.

She calls him the The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog, based on the rabbit that lives in the cave and kills many men in an excellent scene requiring the use of the Holy Hand grenade of Antioch in “Monty Python and The Holy Grail”.  This flashback has confirmed all of our fan jokes and theories and was a much better nickname the previously proposed one of “Thumper” the rabbit from “Bambi”.

Tomoharu only gets a glance of his face as he raises his foot before he firmly kicks him in the throat with his bare heel.

This action is enough to even shock Tsurumi!  We see Tomoharu make his last gasp for air as Tsurumi, the man who watched his family die in Vladivostok, perhaps killed by his own actions or those of Wik, Kiro and Sofia.  Tsurumi is a broken and twisted man by this point before he even heads off to the Sino-Japanese war, but Usami’s actions have completely caught him off guard.  He thought he was helping out with a teenage issue and he’s just resulted in the death of Tomoharu by accident.  Look at those wide open eyes, sweat on his forehead and those stress lines!  Tsurumi is completely shocked.

It is clear a man who has seen terrible things like Tsurumi (as we don’t know what his spying and previous military service was like) he is shocked by Usami’s violence that he uses as he clearly struck a killing blow on his friend.

And with that the chapter ends!

Wow!  Usami’s backstory is clearly revealed to be super creepy as I was always afraid of.  At the age of 12 he killed the boy who on the surface appeared to be his best friend.

Final thoughts on chapter 226

1.) Usami may be a natural born killer rabbit who always wants to please Tsurumi.  Chapter 227 will likely further explain why that part of the dojo is sacred to both of them.  Sei Kobiyama also mentioned on twitter that due to both Tsurumi and Usami practicing jujitsu/judo indicate they both came from samurai families.

Tsurumi has alluded to the fact that his family was once wealthy when he was young and we know he’s the 4th son and they lost the wealth.  It is clear based on Usami’s families reaction to him the Tsurumi family was well known.

Usami is clearly not in a wealthy household that has to work very hard to survive, yet has a connection to samurai habits and culture.  This may be a link to chapter 225 referring the the slums of Sapporo and how the murdered woman was from a once wealthy family that lost it - likely a pre-Meiji era samurai family.

Is Usami jealous of Tomoharu?  Or does he want Tsurumi’s attention all to himself?  What motivates him?  He seems off the entire time before he kills Tomoharu so I think there is more going on than we realize just yet.

Does this information from Sei Kobiyama imply that since Sugimoto and Toraiji also practiced kendo and judo that they were also from poor samurai families also fallen on hard times in the Edo area?

2.) I believe that Usami and Sugimoto are supposed to be compared in some way with this flashback.  Both men are talented in judo and when they kill both men are demon or animalistic in the way that they fight and kill.  Yet, one killed his crybaby best friend while the other one as far as we know was unable to save his friend.

Noda has kept away from Sugimoto’s past and his unresolved issues surrounding Toraiji and Umeko for a long time.  This may lead to the reveal of more of Sugimoto’s past and what really happened when Toraiji died and Sugimoto clung to his dying body, giving up the sled for Tsukishima at Mudoken.  It keeps alluding to a potential situation where Sugimoto is either indirectly or directly related to the events that result in Toraiji’s death.  And keep in mind in the flashbacks his nickname is Tora-chan or Tiger.  If Kiro is Tanigaki’s tiger, we’ve discussed that Toraiji is Sugimoto’s tiger . . .

Sugimoto currently has a broken wrist and maybe he will have to rely on Asirpa, Shiraishi and Vasily his non-friend, not-enemy-ally.  I think Usami may be a link to more background into Sugimoto.

Keeping that in mind, I suspect that Kadokura will lead to more background into Ogata as his father would have been a contemporary of sorts with Koito and Hanazawa, but on Ogata’s mother side.

Well that is all I have for now with the chapters!  I’ll work on getting a few more meta up hopefully in the next few days including as long delayed cover analysis and some Koito meta!

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

asks (16)

Anonymous said: Sorry in advanced that I'm asking about it, don't really know how your rules work precisely, I'm not trying to pull a prank promise. I'm romance repulsed too, I don't care about ships the way ships are cared about if it makes any sense. I just wanted to know if you block people who you follow if they ever reblog anything with a ship, since sometimes panels tend to have characters who are canonically a ship and maybe it's a meta post about some character's life n has a ship in it..

Oh no, don’t worry. I don’t really look at blogs that follow me. I block people that ask me ship questions or tag my fics with ship names. That’s about it. 

@babybatbrat said: thoughts on the best pizza topping

Oh yes I used to work at a pizza restaurant so I have Opinions about this. Steps to ultimate pizza:

Stretch simple dough thinly over a small-sized metal pan.

Lay down a base of olive oil. Rub minced garlic on top of your oil.

Add an over-generous topping of mozzarella cheese.

Add bacon bits, onions, and feta cheese. 

Bake to taste

Having been a pizza employee, I also have strong opinions about the WORST pizza toppings-- not by taste but by unpleasant-ness of preparation. Do NOT ask me for artichoke hearts. You may ask for anchovies ONLY if there is a box already open. If you make me prepare you a s'mores dessert pizza I will kill you on sight. 

Anonymous said: thoughts on non-english language/ non-western music? everyone's spotify wrap this year got me looking into this

One of my sisters is super into k-pop, and I’ve tried to share her interest, but it doesn’t really work for me. I do, however, love bollywood music. That shit slaps, and it reminds me of dancing in my friend’s living room all throughout high school. 

Anonymous said: Thoughts on Batman beyond?

I’ve never really been exposed to it honestly. I understand that was kinda a childhood staple for a lot of people, but my house didn’t do tv shows while I was growing up. 

@mediumsizedmedium said: Thoughts on Damian coming across the concept of furries?

I have no thoughts on this point

Anonymous said: You dont need to respond to this, but I wanted to tell you that my favorite thing about your fics is that theyre ship-free. It makes me so happy to read stories about the batfam just being a family. I wanted you to know that even tho people are being disrespectful about your boundaries, i really appreciate what you DO write and what you put out into the world is lovely and a joy to read. I know u probably already know there are tons of people who support you, but I just wanted to say I do too :)

Ahhh thank you my darling I appreciate you very much 

Anonymous said: I'm on a kick right now, and need more fics about Dick being confronted about Tim's emotions on the way Damian became Robin. I've read all the ones I can find, but you might know of ones I haven't found yet. Do you do you have any recs?

Hmmm I have a couple, but I don’t really read fanfiction myself, so I can’t give recommendations. 

Anonymous said: Okay, been a few days, but fun fact about myself. I thought that movies were supposed to be kinda fuzzy and movie credits were supposed to be borderline unreadable for years until I was 14 and my parents got me glasses.

akjgalfgslasf you poor child

@materassassino said: Facts about me: I am wearing Wonder Woman socks

That’s the pinnacle of fashion to be honest

Anonymous said: as a (portuguese speaking) kid, my dad always put on american songs and I thought english was a made up language

That’s so valid anon

Anonymous said: Fun fact about myself, I usually cook full meals for my daughter, friends and family but when it is just me, I can live off of a jar of peanut butter and half a loaf of bread for a week

[John Mulaney voice] I lived like a goddman ninja turtle 

@insideoflit said: Fun Fact: I have a total addiction to cheezy movies (Think: In Like Flint)

I saw my very first romcom the other day and ????? ?? ?????

Anonymous said: That’s not a super fun fact but I am also pretty drunk so I can’t think of fun ones uhhh I have my cat a middle name and his middle name is Alexander and he is perfect

I support you, your cat, and your drunken exploits 

Anonymous said: A fact about me is coronavirus got the play I’m in cancelled so I went to a castmates apartment and am now drunk for the first time but it’s ok i drank water and I’m goin to sleep

They took my graduation away :(

@areverieofchaosdreams said: Fun fact: I've broken every toe but one, and have multiple hairline fractures running theough my ankles and shins. 12 years of ballet will break you, literally. Also, you're adorable and are ome of the key reasons I stay here on tumblr.

Wowza!! Yikes!! I’m so sorry, but thank you very much too

Anonymous said: Canon but kinda different is canon divergent, not AU. AU in this fandom would not work the way it would in some other fandoms, here we already have alternate canon universes. We should use canon divergent more since that's the best way to explain the small-medium changes. Canon divergent would be Oracle never coming back to Batgirl or Jason coming back without Red Hood fiasco. AU would be they're all magical beings or reverse age or no cape. Fundamentally different universe.

Interesting, thank you

[eastonia-blog]

Let's Chat about these Reversed Aged!Robins AUs

So recently I replied to @gentlemenpaws generalask!post which said…

And I thought I would go a little into my reply to him. Because and hear me out.

I can never take reversed ages Robin headcanons and stories seriously. Without turning off my brain a little. And please, please, please just hear me out.

There is a reason why.

(TLDR at the bottom of this long post)

1) This is the most important reason. Say it with me. THERE IS NO ROBIN WITHOUT DICK GRAYSON.

Think about all other ‘sidekick’ or 'junior partner’ characters. With the exception of maybe Speedy, what are their names and costumes? Aqualad, Kid Flash, Wonder Girl, Super Girl, Super Boy, Bat Girl, Miss Martian... You know, the famous ones? The ones that all based their costumes in echo of their mentors (and yes, I’m including Roy Harper here, Speedy’s costume is a mirror of Green Arrow’s - in red).

So why doesn’t Batman’s apprentice call himself Batboy? Why is his design so divergent from Batman’s? (Okay I understand there’s other reasons but I’m trying to stay in universe/lore here). Depending on the continuity, when Barbara Gordon/Betty Kane became Batgirl she followed the trend. Robin’s identity although associated with the Bat, can stand alone without context.

Why Robin? Why the traffic lights? Something that has been shown time and time again (despite continuity differences and all) is that Robin was Dick’s pet name, from Mary Grayson, his mum. Again depending on the continuity, Mary Grayson called Dick Robin because:-

1)  He was “...always bobbin’ along.” (Pre-Flashpoint Robin: Year One)

Interesting because it could either refer to his skill in acrobatics or a tendency to get underfoot because of his curiousity.

2) Born on the first day of Spring. 

Or...

 3) Just as a tease because he just really, really loved the stories of Robin Hood.

The traffic light colouration he chose for his costume, even the design of his costume? Well if you take a look at most of the Dick Grayson origin stories (Pre-Flashpoint: Robin Year One, Batman Year Three. Post-Rebirth: Batman #54 just to name a couple examples) the Grayson aerialist costume is... Red, Green and Yellow. The proportions of the colours and presence of a cape vary but traffic lights are Grayson colours.

Robin was Dick Grayson’s tribute to his dead family.*

*Part of the reason why Dick got so hurt that Bruce gave Robin away to Jason was because Bruce forgot that Robin was not his to give. This is why the other Pre-Flashpoint comics had Dick give Tim his blessing to become Robin. And then outright have Dick give the R to Damian. Jason eventually got Dick’s blessings but by that point, the relationship was never going to start from the best place.

2) Damian as the first 'apprentice’ would not work. Why? BRUCE WOULD NOT HAVE SURVIVED LONG ENOUGH. (I can hear all the cries of ’But he’s Batman!’ ring out).

Dick and Bruce met super early into Bruce’s career as Batman.

Remember how pre-Batman Bruce went about as a generic vigilante without a moniker or anything? And got his butt kicked so hard by the Gotham streets that it took a bat crashing through a window to convince him to try again?

Pre-Robin Batman was characterised by one thing:- Recklessness. He knew sooner or later Gotham was going to claim his life and that he would probably be going sooner rather than later.

He spent a lot of time recovering in those days. Maybe more than he did catching lowlifes or solving crimes.

And then everything changed when the Flying Graysons fell.

The crime that touched Dick mirrored the crime that affected Bruce. (It’s actually pretty interesting from a meta standpoint. The Waynes died in a circle of light - under a Park Row streetlight and the Graysons paralleled that with the spotlight remaining on them long after they hit the ground.)

And Bruce looked into the eyes of little 8-10 year-old Dick Grayson, and saw himself. But more than that, he (Bruce) saw an opportunity to change things for him (Dick). So that Dick would not end up like him.

(Want to know a cool thing? The reason why Dick’s relationship with Bruce is different to the approach Bruce took to Jason, Tim and Damian? Age difference. Bruce is about 14-18 years older than Dick. Putting him in that weird spot where you could simultaneously be a teen parent or an older sibling. Bruce has a more Older-Brother-Promoted-to-Parent relationship with Dick than father-son. It’s why in the Rebirth Nightwing vs Hush Prelude to the Wedding issue, Dick thought he could be a candidate for Best Man).

This is also the reason why I love Dick’s and Damian’s relationship so much is because it directly parallels Bruce’s and his. I don’t quite know what the age difference is post-Rebirth (and I tend to outright ignore the New 52 at times) but since Rebirth tends to mirror Pre-Flashpoint more than not, I think the age difference between Dick and Damian is about... 14-16 years? Again, simultaneously a teen parent and older sibling.

This is also why I don’t think a Damian as the first Dark Squire would work, because Bruce would not be in a good place to help out a child. Nor will there be the same connection that there was between him and Dick. Damian being first would probably ruin Batman for ever taking on someone in the ‘apprentice’ role.

So after Bruce (eventually, inevitably) takes Dick in, Bruce is forced to realise that he has to be more careful because he has to be there for Dick.

This is when Bruce fully embraces the amount of Crazy Prepared he’d need to be to be.

And then Dick (at 8-10 years-old! Seriously we talk about the amount of detective skill Tim has to figure out Batman’s and Robin’s identities... But we don’t talk about the amount of charisma, courage and will it takes to out-stubborn the Batman???) makes his way onto the streets (and Bruce can’t stop him so he has to help him). So now what does Bruce have to do?

There is a rule medics and first responders have to follow: Protect yourself in order to save others.

Bruce is no longer allowed to accept dying as an option (until Dick is old enough to take care of himself). This forces Batman to work situations to his advantage so Batman and Robin can both come home.

Basically, Dick made Batman evolve into the Batman we know and expect today.

Batman’s relationship with the police significantly improved after Dick Grayson debuted as Robin. Batman’s relationship with other Justice Leaguers improved after Dick Grayson debuted as Robin. Batman’s relationship with Wonder Woman and especially Superman/Clark Kent improved after Robin.

So let’s remove Dick from the lineup and stick him at the end as the youngest then. And... put Damian as the eldest son... that’s... not going to work.

Hey Damian. Where did you go?

Remember the timeline. Without Dick as the eldest Bruce can continue to be reckless. Batman was a suicide mission until Robin stepped in.

No Dick? Batman continues to be reckless. Reckless Batman? Dead Batman. The Al Ghuls and the League of Shadows/Assassins? Probably would have nuked Gotham and Bludhaven. Also Damian Wayne will not have his male genetic donor because... Without Dick Grayson as the eldest son/brother? Batman would not have survived to catch the eye of the League of Shadows/Assassins.

It is necessary for Dick to be the ‘eldest son’ otherwise the rest of Bat!Lore will not fall into place. Dick was Bruce’s more traditionally heroic foil from the start without which we would have a dead Bruce Wayne before Batman could take off. 

TLDR:

Robin was created as Dick’s Tribute to his dead family. If Dick wasn’t the oldest - Batman’s partner (if he would even have one!) would NOT be called Robin.

Bruce and Dick met very early into his career as Batman. If they didn’t meet Bruce would have carried on his reckless path and possibly DIED before Damian could even be ‘conceived’.

And that, my friends, is the tea.

Tagging @theflyingwonder as inspiration of this particular meta