#the red sky of a shepherds warning

[purplelupins]

I was so cute when I thought I was writing dark!Father Paul/Monsignour Pruitt in Lamb…now as I’m writing The Red Sky of a Shepherds Warning I’m laughing maniacally because y’all are in for some proper dark!Father Paul. It makes more sense for this story. Plus why the hell not

[jadethhh]

This morning.

[jessamine-rose]

⋆˚♱ଘ Red Sky at Night, Shepherd’s Delight ଓ♱˚⋆

*slides in with more Church AU ideas* May I interest y’all in Priest! Arlecchino x Devotee! Darling?? Do enjoy this sweet story ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

Tw:: yandere, manipulation, psychological trauma, stalking, blood, violence, death, religious abuse, self-flagellation, harassment, MDNI, pls take note of these warnings

Note:: FICTIONAL depictions of religion

♡ 3.7k words under the cut ♡

♡ As with most nations, the Church is the highest authority in Fontaine. This is especially true for the Court of Fontaine, a city that boasts a strong faith in God. However, it is this same faith which has been corrupted by the Church to spin a web of lies, prejudices, and hypocrisies. Still, there is hope for that city, as provided by its head priest Arlecchino.

♡ Not much can be said about her previous life. In the past, she was known as Peruere, a quiet orphan from the House of the Hearth. Raised by her predecessor Crucabena, Peruere followed in her footsteps and claimed to have felt a calling to priesthood. There was a beauty to it, the idea of a child giving back to the Church by bringing its followers closer to salvation. At least, that is how the public perceived her vocation.

♡ In truth, Peruere’s motivations were different. Shortly after her ordination, Crucabena disappeared under mysterious circumstances and her authority was passed on to Arlecchino. Immediately afterwards, she began to reform the Church and the House of the Hearth. She challenged the Church’s falsehoods, eliminated the other corrupt priests, and preached a more compassionate form of worship.

♡ Despite her efforts, however, scars run deep within the city. The children weren’t the only ones harmed by Crucabena; her influence spanned the entire Court of Fontaine, from religious schools to devout families. In the latter’s case, it can be difficult for Arlecchino to reach out to individuals and correct their beliefs. But some have taken to her like a moth to flame, actively seeking out her enlightenment. One such moth is you.

☾⋆｡ ๋

“Excuse me, Father!”

The Church is silent in the wake of mass. Footsteps and voices echo as believers depart to go on with their daily lives. The children are walking through the exit connected to the House of the Hearth, their solemn demeanors giving way to laughter. Only two people remain.

As always, you linger behind Arlecchino, head bowed.

“Ah, ______.” She turns around to face you. “Is something the matter?”

You look the same—shy expression, modest clothing, rosary in hand.

In a quiet voice, you tell her, “I am in need of your guidance. Yesterday, I…can we discuss this in your office? I’ll try to keep it short this time.”

“Ah, of course. Follow me.”

By now, it has become routine for you to approach Arlecchino after weekly mass. She leads you down a hallway and into her private office, her confident gait juxtaposed by your meek footsteps. A few words are whispered to a passing nun—orders to prepare your favorite tea and desserts.

In the meantime, she takes a seat on the sofa and gives you a polite smile.

“Go on. You have my undivided attention.”

☾⋆｡ ๋

♡ If Arlecchino’s trauma led to her disillusionment with the Church, then yours brought you “closer” to God. Technically, there is nothing wrong with your devotion—you pray daily, treat people with compassion, and derive a sense of solace from your religion. The harm lies in your blind faith, your total dependence on Arlecchino’s guidance.

♡ While you’ve accepted Arlecchino’s stance on religion, you still abide by Crucabena’s doctrine when it comes to your own religious life. You abstain from all vices. You repent for actions which barely count as sins. You are in a constant state of shame, guilt, paranoia, confusion. She can only imagine just how traumatic your meetings with Crucabena were.

♡ Still, you make for enjoyable company. It is common for Arlecchino to see you in the House of the Hearth bearing gifts for the children—and she can tell the difference between performances and your genuine acts of charity. When you aren’t confiding in her, you inquire about her hobbies, her favorite things, her life before priesthood. There is something so pitiful, so precious about your trust in her.

♡ Which is why Arlecchino is quick to notice a shift in your attitude. It begins with you sitting in the middle pews during mass, rather than your usual spot in the front row. During communion, you avoid eye contact and accept the wafer from her with trembling hands. There is a decrease in your private meetings. Fortunately, there is no need for her to investigate; rather, you provide the answer on a silver platter.

♡ Confessions are a wellspring of valuable information. Be it a direct admission or small details, such encounters have aided Arlecchino in punishing those who commit evil under the guise of virtue. Neither is it difficult for her to deduce one’s identity through their voice and mannerisms. So when she recognizes you beyond the screen, she wonders why you opted for the confessional rather than your usual face-to-face confessions with her.

☾⋆｡ ๋

“Bless me, father, for I have sinned. My last confession was one week ago.”

That is the first thing you tell her. From the center compartment, Arlecchino can imagine you doing the sign of the cross. The ritualistic gesture lends a short-lived grace to your movements, your hands honed by years of practice.

A pause. “Pardon my insolence but I must know: I am not speaking to Father Arlecchino, am I?”

Oh?

“You are not,” is her swift response, spoken in an altered voice. “And why do you ask? Does your confession concern the head priest?”

What secrets could you possibly be hiding from her?

She hears a hitched breath. “No! I just don’t want her to know. So please, what I’m about to tell you…don’t breathe a word of it to anyone else.”

“But of course. And what do you have to confess, my child?”

There is the sound of beads clicking together—your rosary, an old violet-and-black set designed by Crucabena. Arlecchino owned an identical one up until her death.

“These past years,” you whisper, “I have been consumed with carnal desires.”

She sits up straighter. “Desires?”

“It’s complicated,” you mutter. “There’s this person I’ve known for years, and I’ve always looked up to them as a fellow believer. Yet over time, I’ve been plagued with…impure thoughts of them. They captivate me. Their attention brings me joy and anxiety in equal parts. They haunt my thoughts in debauched fantasies. Yet we aren’t even married, much less lovers.”

Who are they?

A spider has taken up residence in a corner of the ceiling. It sits in the center of a silvery web, waiting for its prey.

She clears her throat. “And what is the matter with that? It is true that many view lust as a sin. But carnal desires are natural and not evil as to warrant eternal damnation.”

Silence. Most likely, you are mulling over what she just said; discernment isn’t your strong suit.

It’s just like you to fret over an ordinary crush. But who is this person that ensnared your heart? Do they know you as well as her?

Arlecchino continues speaking. “Moreover, no human is immune to temptation. From what you told me, it is clear that you have made active efforts to suppress your lust. So is it not possible for you to resist this so-called temptation, if not distance yourself from the object of your desire?”

“But how can I resist temptation when its very source lies in the Church?!”

Even Arlecchino is caught off-guard by your outburst. It is followed by your horrified gasp.

“What do you mean?” she asks.

Your next words are spoken in an even softer voice. “It’s Father Arlecchino. She is the one I desire.”

A fly buzzes through the latticed screen of the confessional. It briefly hovers around Arlecchino before she swats it away.

“Ah, now I understand.”

“She hasn’t done anything to me!” you add quickly. “I swear, it’s purely one-sided. And that is what distresses me most of all. She is a woman of God, dedicated to the salvation of His flock, yet here I am making a mockery of her righteousness.”

“And what do you see in her?”

“Where do I even begin? She’s kind. I know there are people who speak ill of her, claiming she preaches falsehoods, but I’ve witnessed her compassion with my own eyes. The orphans love her. The Church is warmer, more welcoming under her authority. And…”

The fly has taken a liking to the spiderweb. Spying its prospective prey, the spider begins its crawl towards the edge of the web.

You take a deep breath. “She knows of my religious struggles yet has never given me reason to fear her judgment. She is the one who helped me discern my vocation. She is the one who put a stop to my self-flagellation, even though that penance was assigned by Mother Crucabena. She is the one who has reassured me, time and time again, that I am worthy of God’s love. She…”

That is when you burst into tears.

For the next few minutes, the only sounds in the confessional are your choked sobs and rosary beads. Arlecchino herself remains silent but her thoughts are just as discordant.

Her gaze drifts to her necklace. It is a far cry from Crucabena’s rosary, a long chain from which hangs a silver cross adorned with ornate engravings and crimson jewels. When she presses down on a specific jewel, the pendant separates to reveal a hidden blade.

How long has it been since she struck Crucabena with that false symbol?

“I’ve tried so hard to be good,” you continue between sobs. “All my life, I’ve done my best to resist temptation and abide by the Church’s teachings. So why…? What I feel for Father Arlecchino—it’s disgusting, it’s not normal, it cannot be called love. But I…”

Your voice trails off. In her mind’s eye, Arlecchino sees you kneeling with your head bowed and your rosary looped around your clasped hands. If only she could wipe your tears.

“And I am truly sorry for all my sins,” you sniffle. “Now please, Father, what is my penance? If you tell me to distance myself from Father Arlecchino, then I will do so at once. If anything, I think she’d prefer it; I’ve wasted enough of her time.”

“Hush, my child,” she says sharply. Then, in a gentler tone, she adds, “Give me time to think.”

The fly is caught in the spider’s web. From her seat, Arlecchino watches as the spider bites down on the struggling insect and wraps it in silk, sealing its unfortunate fate.

Well, this was an unexpected answer, but not an unfortunate one.

In truth, she cares little about her vow of chastity. It is but a minor offense compared to those of her fellow priests. As for your attraction towards her, it doesn’t bother her at all. Her own sentiments require further reflection but for now…

“Why not put your desires to the test?”

There is the sound of beads hitting the floor. “Excuse me?”

In a calm voice, she explains, “There is nothing inherently sinful about falling in love with a priest. Rather, the fault should lie in the priest who cannot commit to their vow of chastity. But that, too, can be put into question—after all, nowhere in the religious texts is it explicitly stated that God demanded celibacy from His shepherds. It is for this reason that other denominations allow their priests to marry and procreate.”

“I see,” you mutter. “Though I doubt our Church would permit that anytime soon.”

“Who knows? As for the matter of your penance…like you said, it is impossible to escape the object of your desire. So why don’t you continue your usual interactions with Father Arlecchino? It will enable you to discern whether what you feel for her is truly lust or love. And should you ever confess your feelings to her, she will be the one to instruct you on what to do.”

“Is that all? Surely, there must be another—”

She cuts you off. “That is the only way. It is my belief that you need only desire something with sufficient intensity and God will answer. Or are you doubting my words as a priest?”

Your fearful “no!” puts an end to your confession. Thus, you recite your prayers and leave the confessional. After a while, Arlecchino makes a stealthy exit.

Just as she expected, you are still praying inside the Church. With your dried tears and tightly clasped hands, you make a perfect image of repentance.

Shaking her head, she walks down the hallway and into her office.

The tea table is empty. That will change tomorrow; she already has the perfect choice of desserts in mind. Cakes, tarts, macarons, all of your favorite treats.

The next day, an invitation is delivered to your doorstep. The envelope bears the official seal of the Church of Fontaine.

☾⋆｡ ๋

♡ Since then, Arlecchino has treated you differently. In the past, her religious counsel took the form of reassurances, open-ended questions, and reminders that only you can discern your own fate. But now she finds herself giving you more specific lessons and instructions. She invites you to more tea parties and private events in the House of the Hearth. 

♡ She is also more…physical these days. During mass, she puts the communion wafer in your mouth, a gloved thumb brushing against your lip. On your walks to her office, she places her hand on your back, forcing you to match her pace. At one point, she even pulls you aside and tells you to disrobe so she can see if you are wearing your scapular properly. There is a moment of silence when your scars are exposed, followed by the warm sensation of her fingertips tracing your skin.

♡ However, it doesn’t take long for another issue to arise. One mass, Arlecchino notices that a certain individual has moved to the front pews to sit next to you. This continues for weeks, with him speaking to you before and after the service. You’re clearly uncomfortable around him, and it reaches the point that you mention it to Arlecchino during a tea party.

♡ Quietly, you explain that you are being harassed by one of your coworkers. For weeks, he has been bothering you at work, walking you home from mass, showing no signs of accepting your blatant rejections. Even worse, no one is taking your distress seriously due to his popularity within the Court of Fontaine. Normally, Arlecchino would be quick to eliminate him but she decides on another solution which would kill two birds with one stone.

♡ Her suggestion is that you stay in the Church for a few weeks. It is a convenient arrangement on both sides—the children are already familiar with you; the House of the Hearth has no shortage of rooms; and in the worst-case scenario, it can serve as a trial period for nunhood. In the past, Arlecchino did deem your personality fitting for a life of religious service, though you disagreed on the basis that you weren’t “worthy” of such an important role.

♡ It doesn’t take long for you to adjust. The House of the Hearth is quiet, secure, shielded from outside disturbances. The children are friendly to you, and they all agree that you’d fare well as their caretaker. Best of all, Arlecchino has more excuses to spend time with you—barbeque parties, walks along the sea, meetings with the other priests and nuns, nightly conversations in your room. It feels like home.

♡ One day, you are fitted into a nun’s habit. It looks perfect on you, with a few embellishments to suit your style preferences. Arlecchino personally helps you into the outfit, fixing the buttons and smoothing out imaginary creases. The final piece is a cross necklace identical to her own; she casually reveals the hidden blade and claims it is a self-defense mechanism. When you cast your gaze upon your shared reflection in the mirror, a flustered smile adorns your face.

♡ Still, you are undecided on your “true” vocation. Eventually, you decide to return to your job and think it over. Arlecchino personally escorts you to your house and insists that you keep your cross necklace, if only to replace your “missing” rosary. Once the front door is shut, she casts a harsh glare upon the figure across the street. Later, her children are assigned to keep watch over you and your stalker.

♡ For the next few days, all is well. Your daily life resumes. Arlecchino keeps a close eye on you through her children’s reports and her own inspections. After mass, the two of you enjoy another tea party, and you make no mention of your stalker. When the news reaches the city of an upcoming celestial phenomenon, you eagerly accept Arlecchino’s invitation for a viewing party.

♡ The crimson moon rises, bathing the world in a blood-red glow. While the children gaze at the moon, Arlecchino waits for you in front of the orphanage. Strange, punctuality is one of your virtues yet you’re late. Just as she is about to leave for your house, Freminet frantically approaches her and leads her to the Church.

♡ Red. It’s all over you, and not from the moonlight. The first thing Arlecchino sees is you curled up on the floor in a state of shock. In the heart of the Church lies a familiar figure—your stalker, writhing on the floor as blood pools from his chest. Lynette stands over him, ensuring that he won’t escape, while Lyney tries and fails to console you.

♡ All three of her children are wearing their crosses. Yours is on the floor, its blade exposed and tainted with blood. Lyney is the one who explains the situation to Arlecchino: They heard a commotion in the Church and by the time they arrived, you had driven your cross into your stalker’s heart. He had attacked you and paid the price.

♡ Calmly, Arlecchino tells Freminet to bring you to the orphanage. Once you are gone, she walks up to your stalker and stomps on his head, piercing his skull with her stiletto. Lyney and Lynette are told to dispose of the body, clean up the church, then return to the party. The crimson moon serves as a silent witness all throughout.

☾⋆｡ ๋

“Father, your face…”

As soon as he sees her, Freminet leaves your room and closes the door behind him.

“Freminet.” Arlecchino wipes the blood off her cheek. “That sinner has been dealt with. You may return to the party.”

“Oh? Okay.” He nods, casting a worried look at your door. As he walks down the hallway, one of his hands comes up to touch his cross pendant.

With that, Arlecchino enters your room.

Even in your change of clothes, your visage is painted crimson by the moonlight. Your body is slumped against the bed, knees on the floor. No sounds leave your lips save for short breaths. Tiny crescents mar your arms—a coping mechanism or an attempt at penance?

Wordlessly, she sits next to you and pats your head with a gloved hand.

“Father.” You are the one to break the silence. “What just…”

“That man is dead.” She says it plainly, her tone void of judgment. “He won’t be able to torment you any longer.”

You immediately look up, eyes glossy. “Are you sure?! Did I…?”

In the blood-red moonlight, your anguish is clear as day. Your hands tremble, nails digging into the mattress, before clasping together in a graceless effort to steel yourself. But the familiar gesture does little to calm you, all prayers futile in the wake of your sin.

“This is it. I’m really going to burn in Hell,” you sob. “I didn’t mean to—what should I do, Father?”

This time, Arlecchino spares no warmth in consoling you. She adjusts your body so that your head rests on her lap, letting your tears drip onto her cassock. Her hand remains on the back of your head, stroking your hair.

“There is no need to fret,” she says gently. “Before the moon sets, the Church will be purged of that man’s filth and it will be as though he never appeared tonight.”

You shake your head. “Even then, you…God knows what I have done.”

“Listen to me.” She tilts your face upwards, her expression firm. “All you did was use your cross necklace for its intended purpose—to save yourself from harm. And yet even in the face of evil, you claim to be the one who sinned. None of this is your fault, ______.”

Her other hand caresses your cheek, wiping away your tears.

“Perhaps it is all part of God’s plan,” she muses. As she speaks, she kneels to your level and holds your hands, intertwining your fingers. “We live in a cruel world and it is only in places such as my Church that safety can be promised. Should you take the veil, no other sinners would dare to violate your virtue.”

Your next words are soft, hesitant, filled with disbelief. “Are you saying that I can still become a nun?! That you…you don’t mind keeping me around?”

“And for what reason would I deny you sanctuary?” she asks, her expression shifting to a frown. “As a priest, it is my duty to shepherd God’s flock. And as a person, it is my desire to protect those I cherish. Everything I do is for your own good.”

For once, you are rendered speechless. All you can do is stare at your lap, at your hands clasped together.

When Arlecchino leans towards you, her grip prevents you from drawing back.

“All you must do is listen to me,” she whispers. “Until our mortal deaths, I will be the one to lead you away from true temptation and deliver you from evil. Does it seem agreeable to you?”

“I…I guess so,” you whimper. Nervously, you meet her gaze, your eyes alight with a glimmer of hope. “If it’s you, I can believe it.”

“Good. And remember this always, ______.”

The crimson moon shines brightly, casting a blood-red halo around your savior. And as Arlecchino pulls you closer, your lips a breath away from a kiss, a secret is divulged with the fervence of a sacred prayer.

“God still loves you. As do I.”

♡

More Church AU here!! Dottore ๑ Capitano ๑ Pantalone

Note:: Please do not send me any Church AU asks/ requests involving other characters or dynamics who are not listed in my masterlist.

…Don’t ask me how many times I broke down over Priest! Arlecchino. Just don’t. To all of the Arle simps out there, I hope I did your wife justice. And may you all suffer from brainrot bc I refuse to be the only one in pain (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)

Lastly, lots of love to @diodellet for beta-reading this fic and my mutuals for indulging my brainrot. I hope this was worth the wait <3

Tag an Arlecchino enjoyer!! @navxry @leftdestiny-posts @beloved-blaiddyd @ainescribe @vennnnn-diagram @stickyspeckledlight @harmonysanreads @ddarker-dreams

[loveshotzz]

All I Really Want Is You

older!neighbor!widower! steve x fem!reader epilogue - a slow burn series of blurbs

Heaven Knows You Better ~ epilogue

summary: A glimpse into the future.

wc: 1.7k

warnings: none, just pure fluff 🧡 a slight mention of drinking a margarita.

authors note: I know you’re tired of hearing me say it, but thank you 🧡 writing this story and sharing it with you will always hold a special place in my heart.

🌆 <- chapter ten

The Masterlist / The Playlist / The Tune:

Three summers later - Beginning of May

The sun hangs bright in the deep blue sky, the air a little crisp from the last bit of the chill still leftover from spring. The heat of summer is just barely on the cusp of breaking through, you can feel it in the way the city starts to come alive again. The red ‘TEAM ALS’ banner blows in the wind as your shoes and Bandit’s paws cross the white finish line. The clapping of strangers on the side lines fills your ears, tugging a smile onto your slightly chapped lips, before you turn around to look at your fiancé. 

Steve can’t help his grin back, the whites of his teeth showing when your smile stretches wider at the sight of him. The bottoms of his black running shorts flap in the breeze, revealing more skin at the tops of his thighs that still lights a match deep inside your gut. You don’t think you’ll ever be immune to him. The white socks on his feet are pulled up to his shins, the color of his On Clouds matching the banner above you. The polyester of his dark gray Nike running sweater fits tight across his chest, the zipper on its high neck being tugged by a set of golden blond puppy paws.

“I told you Molly wasn’t gonna make it all the way,” he huffs, a laugh threatening to bubble past his lips when the rambunctious labrador starts licking his stubble covered cheek, pushing up the bill of his black Nike baseball cap. 

God, you’ll never not want to kiss him.

“She made it more than half way, give her some credit Steve.” You roll your eyes and he’s proud to say that’s the third one he’s earned today. The first being in your barely unpacked kitchen when he snuck up from behind to blow a raspberry on your neck while making coffee in the morning.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You weren’t the one who had to carry the extra ten pounds the last two miles, were you?” He reminds you with a smirk, setting the wiggling puppy down now that she’s regained most of her strength back.

Bandit whines for Steve’s affections, pawing at him when he’s eye level, getting the scratch behind both ears he wanted. The German shepherd wasn’t the only one wanting his attention, and it takes everything inside you not to pout yourself when he stands back up and doesn’t immediately kiss you. Despite the chill, there’s still a sheen of sweat that coats his permanently sun kissed skin, the spice of his cologne becoming more pronounced because of it.

“Thank you for doing this with me baby,” the teasing edge to Steve’s voice is gone, replaced with something softer - made even sweeter as he pulls you closer by waist, his nose bumping with yours when you stand on your tippy toes hooking your free arm around his neck. Your fingers twitch to be in his hair, you hate his hats.

“I’ll do them all with you,” you whisper because it’s just for him, it’s always just for him. His cheeks dust pink like he knows it and his hold on you tightens.

“I can’t wait to marry you,” the words come out soft against your lips, his eyes meeting yours from down the bridge of his nose.

“Three months.” 

The reminder makes him close the space that’s left, smiling into the kiss. It still feels like a hundred butterfly’s wings flutter against your rib cage when your lips slot together like they were never meant to be apart. It’s hard to get lost in him the way you want to with hundreds of people around and two dogs that can’t seem to stop their play fighting, tugging harshly on their leashes at your feet. That doesn’t keep Steve from tracing your bottom lip with his tongue when the tips of your fingers find the flyaway hairs sticking out of the bottom of his cap. You giggle against his lips and he can’t find it in himself to be disappointed when you pull away, like he knows you both should because of it.

“Careful, might have to take you downtown right now if you don’t stop,” he teases, biting his bottom lip to stop from kissing you again.

“I don’t think Eddie would ever forgive you for taking away his opportunity to finally be your best man.” Running your hands down his chest, you can feel his groan vibrate under your palms.

“Don’t remind me.” Steve lets you go, finally taking his hat off to reveal a dirty golden mess on top of his head, long fingers running through it.

Bandit whines, nudging Steve’s knee with his snout before rubbing the side of his face against his leg, ignoring the way the puppy jumps and paws at his side.

“I think someone wants to switch.” You grin at the way Steve’s face softens for his favorite boy, offering you Molly’s leash in exchange without a word.

“Someone missed daddy, huh?” Steve asks in the kind of baby voice you know he picked up from you, but the reference to himself still has you clenching like your second date. 

Bandit barks in response, tail wagging a mile a minute as you untangle the unruly puppy from around him. You give up quickly on letting her walk, picking her up just like Steve had, the wiggling weight of her in your arms has you biting your tongue about how heavy she really is.

“I think we’ve earned a margarita when we get home, right molly?” Hinting at Steve with a smirk tugging at your lips when you kiss the puppies restless snout - it's his turn to roll his eyes.

“Honey, we still need to pack. We leave for New York tomorrow at like nine A.M.” He runs another hand through his hair before putting his hat back on his head and you have to resist pulling it off as you both make your way through the crowd.

“Okay, we can pack and then a margarita… although packing might be a lot more fun after one. Just a thought.” You shrug with fake nonchalance, finally getting a grip on Molly in your arms.

“After we pack and drop off the dogs at Nancy’s.” Steve chuckles, moving to the other side of you so his free hand can find the small of your back, the blunt ends of his nails scratching against the soft fabric of your oversized sweater. He could never go too long, he always had to be touching you.

“Deal.” Grinning, pleased with your promised drink, you push up on your toes to plant a sloppy kiss on his cheek, heart swelling at the pink that dusts tips of his ears because of it. 

9:15pm 🌃

The first sounds of cicadas buzz low in your ears, another reminder that summer was just around the corner while the two of you sit on the porch swing. Steve had set up on the small deck in your backyard. It wasn’t big like the ones in the suburbs but it was just enough for Bandit and Molly to stretch their legs without a leash. The citronella candle that you swore to Steve would work, burns lemon and lavender into the matching dusk sky, still too early in the season to prove yourself right. The stars are still half hidden by the big tree in the corner of your yard that has started to sag from the humidity. Though a lingering chill still nips in the breeze and it has Steve pulling you deeper into his side. The pine of his body wash from the shower you took together just before this mixes in the perfect blend to make your eyes heavy and your heart full. 

“You think Nancy’s going to be okay with both of them for five days?” Your question comes out quiet in the calm, your cheek pressed to the cotton of his white shirt. The hard muscles underneath twitching from the warmth of your breath. The ice in your half drank margarita clinks against the glass when your wrist starts to get lazy.

“I think we’re going to have a very well behaved puppy when we get back,” Steve chuckles before relieving you of your hold, setting your cup down next to his on the deck.

You giggle to yourself at the thought, humming in agreement, when he takes the opportunity to really cuddle you now. A big arm wrapping around you while his hand finds yours so he can do his favorite thing. His chin hits the top of your head, and the tips of his fingers tickle while he twirls the diamond ring around your knuckle. You can feel the way his cheeks pull up against your hair, his lips a ghost against the crown of your head, always losing himself in the fact that you said ‘yes.’

“Did you pack the Cubs shirts I got for Gwenny?” Steve asks like he’s trying to think back to the mess of a packing session the two of you had in between stolen kisses and heated touches that always led to more. 

“That was the first thing you packed, handsome.” You squeeze his hand, the smirk on your face widening at how obsessed of an uncle he was for the newest addition to the Munson family. 

“Oh yeah, I remember now. They are under my dress slacks,” he mumbles, while the pad of his thumb rubs small circles under your ribs where his fingers curl around your side.

Cuddling deeper into his chest a comfortable silence falls between you, the cicadas buzz louder, mixing with the sounds of the city and you wish you could always stay like this, wrapped up in him and the glow of the moon that leaks through the shaking leaves on the tree above you. The silver band he twirls around on your finger makes you realize this is what he’s asking for. A forever of moments just like this one tonight, of first, of lasts, of fingers intertwined, soft touches, stolen kisses and whispered sweet words in the moonlight that feel even sweeter when he says them again in the sunshine. 

This is what forever looked like with Steve Harrington, and you always want to be his tough girl.

beta’d by @superblysubpar

dividers by @chechelia

[halcyone-of-the-sea]

Let Me Lean On You

Pairing: John Price x F!Reader

Synopsis: You have a bad habit of putting yourself in harm’s way, enraging John to no end. But can you survive a wound like this? Or will everything you hate to love about John Price never see the light of day?

Word Count: 13.3K (yes this is a novel; yes this is longer than any English paper I’ve ever written)

Warnings: blood, wounds, heavy on the gore, swearing, violence, suggestive, angst, fluff, enemies-to-lovers type of relationship but you’re both down bad

A/N: This is heavily story-motivated (I’ve found out I can’t write anything not gigantically plot-oriented; I’m so sorry). I’ve taken that into account as this probably won’t do as well as I expect due to that fact. Nonetheless to those who interact -- thank you and enjoy! P.s. as always this is barely edited.

*I do not give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform*

The blood was gushing too fast, pouring out of the wound like the gaping hole was nothing more than a faucet with the double handles thrown all the way on. 

“Fuck,” You whimper, grasping pointlessly at the bullet wound in your abdomen with shaking fingers and sputtering breath. The blood slips out from under your fingers, cascading down the gear on your right thigh and splattering to the ground. Everything on that side of your body side was stained a vicious shade of red; sticky, heated, and pulsing.

All of it had gone wrong so quickly – Graves, Shadow Company, Alejandro Vargas, and Los Vaqueros. 

“I should have seen it. Graves was never to be trusted,” You gasp out as you force yourself onwards, all but dragging your body through the dense forest to try and find shelter in the nearby city, “But Shepherd? Fuck me. I worked for that man for damn near five years and turns out he’s a traitor? Well…that’s what I get for trusting a bald guy, I guess.” Moaning out a curse, you rip open the medical pouch on your vest with vibrating fingers, the white stitched cross taunting you as you get it bloody. Your other hand clenches over the hole in your side as if that alone would stop you from dying, fingers slipping as more death splatters to the ground.

The rain was the worst part. A storm at night was terrible already, but here the rain created a shield of delirium as you hobbled on, with nothing to be seen beside the trees and rocks a few feet ahead of you. Even face-planting would serve as a death sentence for you. Who knew if you would be able to get up again? 

Your black athletic shirt was sticking to you on the parts that your vest didn’t, and your cargo pants had come unstuffed from your black boots. Over your back, your modified SP-X 80 Sniper Rifle was ten times heavier than it should be, the barrel hitting the back of your numb knee at your uneven and sloppy pace. But you were far too stubborn to stop now. And pissed.

Tearing out a plastic-covered wrap of gauze and a rag from your pouch, you paused near a large bolder, panting like a dog as your lungs gasp for air. You tilt your head back as you drag the side of your shirt up, hearing the wet thump of a river of blood splashing into the flooded grass. Your skull connects with the chilled rock behind you as a wet cough in your throat bursts out into the sky. 

“Okay,” You give yourself false confidence, moving to grasp the gauze with the side of your clattering teeth and grabbing the rag with both hands; you twist it to resemble a torpedo in shape. Looking down at yourself you have to suppress the bile building in your throat, coughing once more and feeling dark phlegm fly past your quivering lips, “Okay, okay, okay…I can do this. I can do it.” 

Before you can stop yourself you twist the rag and shove it into your open wound, letting lose a wail of agony that’s thankfully covered by a slash of lightning over the black sky. Shoving it deeper, you feel it inside of your skin, moving like a parasite as your fingers splay over your skin. You grit your teeth and drop the gauze to the ground as the acidic feel of vomit rushes past your lips; with cracking knees you bend forward and release your guts into the grass, hacking until there's nothing left but regret and a vile taste on your tongue. Tears track down your cheeks as you breathe out a sobbing breath.

Through gritted teeth and blurry vision, you feel the rag peaking all the way through the entry and the exit points, and hope that the actions you’ve taken will buy you time to find Sergeant MacTavish and Lieutenant Ghost – if they were even still alive, that is.

“I swear,” You snatch the gauze from the ground, happy for the protective bag over the wrappings, as you sniffle with slurred words, ripping open the plastic with your teeth, “This is bullshit! If Price and Gaz are having a good time right now I’m telling Laswell to go pound sand the next time she tells me to go out in the field with these two. The Captain already gets on my nerves, but if I get to skip the part of hiking in the Mexican wilderness while I’m bleeding out– ” 

A twig snaps off into the trees. 

You immediately halt wrapping the gauze around your middle, securing the rag in place as it already begins to stain red. At your right thigh, your fingers brush the Basilisk Revolver as it lays dormant; heavy and cold to the touch as rain slides off its side. Your pulse, if possible, increases. 

The only twigs I saw back there were large ones – and any animals in the area would have run from the Shadows popping off shots back on the road, Your body’s already moving, not focusing on the pain in your side as you tie off the gauze with such a tight knot it forces a grunted profanity from deep in your chest. You decide to keep the Basilisk in its holster, for now, instead favoring the combat knife at your shoulder and blinking away the rainwater and bitter tears from your eyelashes. 

Not impressed, A deep raspy voice echoes in your brain before your grunt and force it down.

You unclip the clasp on the knife’s leather sheath before drawing the black metal, bringing it to your side; weaving behind rocks and trees as the light of the city in the distance gets larger. Behind you, you leave the noise of muffled voices with a nervous swallow. A gunshot would bring much-unwanted attention, and for all you knew you were all alone out here. You were being hunted. 

Well, good for you that you always worked better alone anyways. 

“I need to get to the city, try to radio the boys, and find a quick way out,” You grunt, wanting to itch the wound at your side as the rag pulls at the inside of your skin, making you feel unnaturally stuffed like a turkey. The skin around the fabric was undoubtedly bruising quickly, and already you could feel the pain pulsing like a bad headache leaving the skin hot and sweaty despite the cool rain and chilled winds. You just hoped you wouldn’t get an infection from this later, “If I’m lucky the radio signal will fix itself when I’m closer. If not I’ll need to slice a few necks and hope they have ear pieces I can snatch along the way.” 

You had a bad habit of talking to yourself – as Price had pointed out on multiple occasions. Dodging a downturned tree, the houses in the distance begin to take shape, their colorful paint like a beacon dragging you in. 

Captain John Price, You grumble before stifling a whimper at a spike of pain in your side, stumbling before you right yourself, or should I call him ‘ Captain Pain-in-my-Fucking-Ass?’ He acts like I can’t do my damn job – like I’m not one of the highest-ranking CIA Agents in the damn USA. Thinks he can handsomely swagger his way into a room and act like I’ll take his bullshit with a grin and a nod. 

Your free hand connects with a stucco wall of a house on the outskirts of the city of Las Almas, the exterior painted a warm orange which was now stained with your crimson handprint. Sucking in a deep breath, you lick your lips and peak around the corner, conscious of the black void of the forest at your side.

Immediately your eyes land on the bodies. 

Left to lie like useless sacks they’re sprawled in the street, limbs twisted and bent in grotesque displays as if it was an old renaissance painting. As a chill travels down your spine, you can’t help but call comparison to the grim artwork of Peter Paul Rubens's The Massacre of the Innocents. You never thought that a quick trip after a mission to a Canadian art museum would prompt a callback quite like this; in fact, you had prayed you’d never see anything like that painting in real life. But here they were, people, innocent people, of all ages gunned down en masse, with some visibly clutching onto loved ones; shielding children from the relentless downpour of bullets that now take home in their flesh. The small rivers running into the storm drains ran red with blood. 

“Shadows did this?” You breathe out, voice small under the downpour as you blank at the sight ahead of you. The lightning strikes in answer, leaving a deep rumble in its wake. Or maybe that was just the enraged snarl that played off your lips, echoing into the streets like a rabid dog. A thought strikes you between fiery thoughts and clenched fists.

This just happened, Swallowing the mucus and blood in your throat, you shake your head from side to side to dispel your running thoughts, revenge later. I need to find the others. 

Taking the nearest corner you stalk your way through alleyways, breaking into houses when needed when you heard shouting nearby, and carefully maneuvered your feet around more corpses. 

“This is a fucking war crime,” You whisper, gripping your knife a little tighter and snarling as you spy two more dead bodies in the home you were now in; one was a woman in her late thirties, clutching another no older than ten, who in turn holds a blood-crusted tiger stuffed animal to her chest. Like a grim pack of Russian Dolls, one after the other, “Graves’ll hang for this. I’ll see to it myself if they make me. Shepherd too.” 

You rip your eyes away before you have the chance to cry and go back to rummaging through a kitchen cupboard, finding a few spools of fishing net and a fabric needle in a spare parts drawer. Stashing them in your medical pocket, you reason with yourself that if worse comes to worst you’ll be forced to cauterize and stitch the gaping wound in your side by yourself. But not yet. 

Find the boys.

Gripping the radio connected just above your breast, you press down on the button, sending out a signal through a blind channel. The static accompanies you for a moment as you catch your breath leaning on the kitchen wall and leaving a small sprinkling of blood behind.

Licking your tense lips, you utter, “This is Bravo 7-2 ‘Goldfinch’ reaching out over the Blind. Is anyone there? Over.” You release the button waiting impatiently as the seconds drag on. 

Again your press down, “Ghost? Soap? Do you copy?” 

Nothing. 

Clenching your jaw another wave of pain travels up your feet, you wrench down on the button with a contorted face and snarl, “I swear to fucking high heaven, boys, if you don’t answer this goddamn radio I’m going to find your corpses myself and chuck them over a cliff–”

“Christ, Goldfinch, we get the bloody picture. Now stop your yammering and tell us where you are.”

“Oh, tell you where I am,” You grumble although a relieved sigh falls from your lips at the familiar Manchester drawl that belongs to your Lieutenant Ghost. You feel yourself deflate against the wall with a grunt, “We have Mr. Bossy over here. Where’s the ‘Please?’”

“Goldfinch–”

“Well, I can say it’s a pleasure to hear that American voice of yours, Ma’am. Good to know you’ll be joining us on our late-night getaway from the Shadows.” 

There’s Sargent MacTavish, You huff out a breath in amusement.

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Soap.” Pushing yourself off the wall with clenched eyelids, you take a step out into the open space of the dining room, “But the attempt was admirable—!” 

A force slams you to the ground, finger releasing the radio abruptly as you let out a strangled grunt. Bracing your head for the blow to the floor you manage to twist yourself and land on your back, taking the brunt of the tackle to your spine and not your damned side. Not that it hurt any less. It was easier said than done, as even the sensation of hands on your thigh, trying to pry your Basilisk from its holster was sending spikes of pain radiating like a burning pike through your veins. Like hands were prying apart your skin with blunt nails.

You bring your knee up and twist your shoulders as the shrouded outline of someone on top of you slams to the side with a curse. Wrenching yourself up, you grab harshly onto the Shadow’s opposite shoulder and batter the man to the ground, effectively switching positions and barring him from grabbing anything before your knife finds home in his right eye. You hear the orb pop with a spray of fluid that washes your face as you force the blade deeper, listening to the now gasped pleas from the talking corpse under you. He grasps at your arms, trying to pry off your iron grip before you send the knife all the way to the hilt with a strangled yowl. 

The man goes limp, and his arms fall from you with a thump. 

Groaning your get to your feet and yank at your blade, placing a boot over the man's face and pulling until you hear the sweet clunk of metal separating from soft, pliable, flesh. 

“God, man,” You glare down at the black-clad Shadow Company member, “did you really have to tackle me?” Grabbing at your side, you grunt at the feeling of blood through the gauze, before pulling your hand away to look at the damage, “That hurt like a bitch.” 

It was only then you heard the yelling voices over the radio, calling your name.

“Yeah, yeah,” You press the button and effectively shut the boys up, standing dumbly in the torn-apart dining room and putting more weight on your non-injured side, “I’m fine. Shadow got the jump on me. Took care of it.” 

Grimacing, you lightly flutter your eyebrows as the world spins for a second. Soap speaks first.

“Warn us next time, Lass,” He whispers, “Bout gave us a heart attack out here. Thought we lost you for a moment.” 

In typical Ghost fashion, he only grunts his concern.

“Thanks, Soap, I’ll be sure to take that into consideration. I’ll call out ‘Soccer’ next time for a heads-up.”

“Oh, you are devious, Ma’am.”

“Any injuries, Goldfinch?” 

You clean the remnants of flesh off the edge of your knife on your wet sleeve, stalking up the stairs of the house to case the place for other hidden Shadows. You didn’t bother checking the dead one – if he was desperate enough to attack you with his bare fists he lost his group and ran out of ammo a long time ago. That was probably Ghost’s fault if you had to guess.

“Pretty bad one in my lower abdomen,” You admit, pausing on a creaky step and peeling your ears to listen for any nose. When there wasn’t any, you continued up, “Stuffed a rag in it and wrapped it, so I’ll be good for at least a half-an-hour if I’m lucky. Ten minutes if not.” 

“Bloody hell, Goldfinch, just now?” The words are drawn out in solidarity.

“Nah, back near the highway. And what can I say, Ghost, I don’t make a fuss. Does hurt like you’re getting your intestines removed though – wouldn't recommend.”

“How in the hell do you know what that feels like?”

“Trade secret, now, shh!” You get to a closed door at the end of a halfway and press your ear to the woodgrain, feeling water drip down your neck and from your nose to plunk against the floor. But you can’t help but flush at Soap’s next comment.

“I can see why Price likes her so much, L.t.” 

That gives you pause, your pain momentarily forgotten in the shock. 

L-Likes?! Your mind seems to come to a screeching halt, and you feel your eyes widen, horrified, The hell does he mean the Captain likes me? Price can’t stand the sight of me! 

You briefly think back on the last mission you had gone on with the Captain and Sergeant Garrick with a tight chest – an intel Op. in the suburbs of Amsterdam. 

The goal was simple and the plan was perfect; you and Laswell would link up with Captain Price and Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick in Amsterdam where the pair was tracking an AQ cell on the docks and figure out this missile fiasco. Ideally, the private plane you and your fellow Agent had gotten on would have flown faster – at least you would think it would until the knowledge that the ETA was upwards of two hours punched you in your gut. 

You had scowled as you wiped down your rifle's inner workings with a rag, the bits and pieces you had added onto the weapon yourself taking up most of your time when cleaning. Picking up the larger scope with an annoyed hitch to your breath you had turned to Laswell as she gave orders to Price over the radio. 

“Two hours? Laswell, I could have taught myself to fly and gotten us there faster.” Your superior had sent you a glance, lips twitching up.

“Still impatient, I see.” 

“Rookie coming along?” That was the first time you had heard the Captain’s voice in a long time, and immediately you had picked up on the prodding question hidden under the first. 

Who the hell are you dragging into my operation? Or even, Do I look like I have time to babysit?

Had he forgotten you so soon?

“Quite the opposite – Goldfinch is joining us.” 

You could hear a pin drop. 

“I’m freezing my ass off in a river right now, Laswell, but if I had the time I’d try and wrap my head around what you just said. Can’t say I’d find an ending that has nobody scratching their heads.”

You bring the scope to your eye, looking through the glass to make sure it’s as clear as it can be. Satisfied, you lower it and send a glance to the phone on the tiny table with growing rage and sarcasm, “I’m flattered, Captain.”

“Don’t be, Muppet. I’m guessing you still have a habit of running off-script – creating more problems than necessary that I have to clean up? I’d expect nothing less from a woman like you…you ROG?” You feel yourself bristle, heat rising to your face at the jab. Sure you had a hard-set conscious, but only good things came out of you running off on your own when placed with others. 

Playing nice was never part of your job description, nor, in some special cases, was respect. You played by different rules than normal soldiers.

Laswell shifts in her seat but doesn’t tell you to stop when a low growl enters the cockpit. You place the cleaned scope onto the table carefully and narrow your eyes.

“Ironic, coming from a man who consistently disobeys orders like there’s no tomorrow. I can’t count how many headaches you’ve given Laswell since I’ve been by her side. And, Hell, at least I manage to get the job done without leaving a bitter taste in everyone’s mouth,” You lean closer to the phone with curled lips, “You, ROG, Captain?” 

From there it had been narrowed glances and snide remarks when you and Price finally met face-to-face on the landing strip. Eyes heated with anger. Gaz had been pleasant, at least, and it was good to see the man again, you admit, but John was…well he was something.

Something handsome to put it plainly, and that fact drove you crazy.

You couldn’t deny your attraction to the older man’s physicality – not even the time of your first meeting years prior. He had biceps that were nearly the size of your head, and shoulders that spanned doorways all tight under a form-fitting shirt. Tall, with large muscular thighs that led up to a tapered waist you felt yourself getting nasty thoughts about all under those damningly tight black cargo pants. Fuck, the things he could do to you without even speaking. The outfit didn’t leave much to the imagination as you’d quickly snapped your gaze away before you started to drool.

Shit, you had thought when you stepped off the plane and saw the familiar face, the strong jaw under Price’s brunette hair with a funny bucket hat on his head. Small blue eyes that filtered over your frame and left you only slightly taken aback by the growing heat in your body when he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his pelvis jerking, I forgot he was so goddamned attractive. Maybe I should have waited to insult him until later.

The attraction had dissipated the second he had opened his mouth, however. 

“So here’s the Goldfinch, eh?” John had muttered, crossing his arms over his chest and moving his legs to shoulder length under him, “I’ve re-read your file. I can say,” He sucks in a slow breath, lips falling into a line, “not very impressed.”

Not very impressed.

Laswell grunts under her breath at your side, sighing lightly, “Not now, John.”

“What?” He chuckles humorlessly, body tense, “Can’t blame a Captain for re-learning who he’s bloody letting tag along on a mission – particularly one who made his life hell in Serbia and nearly cost the team the mission because of her stubbornness. Not to mention an entire bloody city. Why is she here, Laswell? I don’t have time to babysit Muppets.” He snarls and glares at you all through the sentence, making your spine crawl with genuine unease. The jagged scar that sits between your ribs had burned in remembrance.

You hadn't bothered stopping in front of Price on that landing strip, you didn’t even bother replying to him. Your eyes gain a hard sheen, even as your lungs sputtered with a very real panic. You’re sure he noticed the hitch in your breathing, though, and you saw something flash in his eyes before it was gone in the next instant.

Sashaying past all you do is call over your shoulder as you go to get ready for the mission – to go listen in on a Cartel and AQ meeting in an hour. You answer the Captain before Laswell has the chance.

“At least I know where to draw the line in the sand, Price.” You caught his dagger-like eyes over your shoulder, noticing Gaz shuffle at John’s side: cautious. Poor kid, he was getting dragged into all the drama.

You had never seen John’s eyes so blatantly full of distrust before. Blue laced with a deep gray that reminds you of a raging storm over an ocean. Lightning flashed every time he blinked. Cold. Calculated. They hadn’t always looked at you like that.

You told yourself a long time ago that you were nothing but a spent bullet to the older man, not worth the effort to pick up or care about. 

You just need to wipe your hands of it. There was no changing his opinion of you…But why did you even care?

Even when you saved his life later that day at the café – putting a bullet through a Cartel member before he could blow Price’s chest out – all thwarted by a quick draw of your revolver, all the Captain had done was growl at you after the Basilisk was back at your hip. He had gripped your shoulder with a heavy hand that leaked molten heat. You hated the way your cheeks had flushed when you felt his hot breath on your forehead, the caress of his hard hip against yours.

“Stay out of my way, Finch,” he uttered before shoving past you to pick up the unconscious body of the target. Gaz had rushed forward to help and had spared you a sorry glance but nothing more. 

It was like nothing you had experienced before, but he left behind a burning need to be recognized that made your chest sputter when he dismissed you. 

Not impressed.

But that had been it. The next second you were shipped out with Ghost and Soap on account of your disapproval from the Captain and Laswell’s ability to see a dumpster fire beginning to smoke. Cutting the losses. Then you were hunting down Hassan in Mexico with adrenaline singing sweetly in your veins. You had been all too happy to be out of John’s seemingly never wavering sight. But still, you felt his eyes on the back of your neck, heavy and weighted with disgust. Everywhere you went and every bullet you fired you could hear his voice – not impressed. 

Bullshit. His words shouldn't hurt this much. So, why do they? Why can’t I just let it go?

Back in the present, you shake your head to dispel the guilt of the broken and confusing relationship. You didn’t want any more enemies, least of all ones who in the right circumstances could be unbeatable allies. John was honorable, strong, and loyal, but just as stubborn as you, and that alone left a bad feeling in your stomach that nothing would ever change.

You swore you hated him but was that even true? How can you hate someone but still want their hands on your skin? Roaming under your clothes and gripping just the right places to make you squirm? Laying gentle kisses to your lips and whispering promises? Holding you to their chest...?

You draw your ear back from the door – not hearing anything inside that would make you suspect Shadows in the interior. 

Grabbing the knob you twist and let it slowly open on its own, knife drawn and held firmly in front of you. 

The shine of the street lights from outside cascades over the floor in muted colors, the many rugs muffling your footfalls as you move in; straining your ears above the raging weather. When nothing caught your attention outright, your hand moves to the radio as you turn and stare at the empty doorway.

“I’m just going to ignore whatever the hell you just said, Soap,” You huff, bringing your other hand grasping the knife closer to your abdomen wound, brushing it with your fingers before flinching, “Where are we meeting up? No offense, boys, but I’m in a bit of a hurry over here. We need to get out of dodge before the Shadows regroup and do a final sweep.”

“Church,” Ghost’s voice wafts out just as your eyes lock on children's toys littering the floor, a large pile of stuffed animals just to your left smashed into the corner, “near the center of the city. There are directions on every street sign. How far out are you, Goldfinch?”

“Not too distant I hope, we’re running out of time,” You hear Soap grunt over the line, obviously learning the ups and downs of Guerilla Warfare firsthand.

“I’m a good way in, but I'll have to check the street signs to know for certain how far and let you know.”

“Copy. Be cautious.” 

You were about to leave when a lion stuffed animal bounced into your path, its dark eyes like voids against its tan coloring and flowing mane. A chilled breeze wafts in from under the window, bringing goosebumps up the length of your wet arms as your finger twitches. Freezing, your head filters over to the plushie corner with stilled breath. But even if you already knew what you were going to find, the pain of it didn’t hurt any less. 

A young girl was huddled under the pile, gazing out with brown eyes that matched her lion, securely hidden under a multitude of her toys. 

Someone placed her there, You think, noticing the signs of a rush in the way the rug was slightly up-turned at the corner, the closet across the room hastily half-closed in panic. 

The bodies in the living room tell you what the story was. With glossy eyes, you quickly sheathe your knife before kneeling. Your mind was made before you thought about it – you had to get the child out of here.

Almost got him killed in Serbia. 

“Erm,” Your voice makes her flinch, burrowing deeper. You suddenly wished you had taken the time to learn Spanish on the plane ride over, and perhaps known how to properly show someone you’re not a threat, “Eh…¿H-Hablas inglés?... Shit is that right?” Murmuring the last comment to yourself, your head tilts to the floor. 

“¿Jilguero?” A thin voice murmurs out. 

“I guess that's a no, huh,” You chuckle softly, swallowing down a groan when the motion tightens your chest. Your eyes flicker closed for a second before your breath comes out in deep pants. 

Tiny feet hit the hardwood, and when you open your eyes a child no older than ten is standing in front of you, clutching the lion plush in one of her hands and clothed in a blue nightgown that brushes the floor. You blink carefully, and her dark eyes blink back. 

“Jilguero,” She points with a tanned finger to your chest, and her soft face smiles. 

“I-I don’t…” You sigh, itching the back of your head with a hand before licking your lips, “I don’t understand, I’m sorry. But we have to leave, okay, we have to go.” Emphasizing with the hope she subconsciously knows what you’re saying, you place your shaking hands to your knees and stifle a whimper with a bite to your lip. Forcing your weight down, you stumble to your feet and grip your hair in a tight fist. 

When the spinning stops, you drop your bloodied fingers and force a smile onto your flushed face. 

The girl walks slowly to your side and latches into a strap on your thigh, looking up at you with a hesitant twist of her lips. Nodding, you hope whatever strength you have left that you can guide this girl to the church and get her out of this city until everything dies down. Already, a burning hatred for Graves gains fuel, sending sharp spikes of adrenaline into the backs of your eyes and the base of your skull. 

I’m gonna rip him apart with my bare hands. 

Grabbing your combat knife, you keep a hand on the back of the girl’s head to guide her forward, but keep her carefully behind your thigh. If anything were to go wrong, you would be sure your body would take the brunt of it.

“Goldfinch, any updates?”

“You bleed out yet, Ma’am?”

You descend the stairs of the home and make a beeline for the back entrance, dodging the bloody massacre in other parts of the house. The girl follows silently but sends a wide-eyed glance up at your radio as her long brown hair swishes.

“I’m here,” You breathe, “found a kid.” 

Steering the conversation away from your currently bled-through gauze the silence on the other end is strangling you. 

“Do you think that’s smart?” Ghost knows what you’re doing, he’s not stupid, and Soap catches on not a second later.

“You’re taking it with you?!”

“Did you really just call a child an ‘it’ Soap? Come on now.” You open the back door slowly, peaking your head out, and see only an empty, flooded, cobblestone street. Abandoned cars and trash litter the city, “If I leave her here she dies. I don’t know if Price told you, but I draw the line at leaving innocents behind. I’m sure he mentioned Serbia at some point.” 

“Fuckin’ hell, Goldfinch.”

You cut the line, looking down with a moment of contemplation at the girl with your lips pulled thin. But your chest beat with a surety that was deeply ingrained since childhood – what drove you into the life you lead now. 

“Alright,” You whisper, “Here we go, Kid, keep close.” 

She blinks, doe eyes wide as she tightens her hold on the plushie against her chest.

Hell, she doesn’t even know what’s going on. She doesn’t know…Fuck.

As you both step outside, your boots stomp where her bare feet slap, water splattering both of your heads as the rain still pours. The girl brings on hand to her head, trying to wipe away the racing droplets that fly down her cheeks. Stifling a laugh, you tilt your head and smirk. 

Turing into the night, your side steadily burns more with every step you take, skin ripping as the rag drips a trail of crimson that’s wiped away by the storm not a second later. 

“Jilguero,” The girl whispers, and with a tight face, you turn your gaze down. She points to your face and brings a finger to her lips, making little ‘shoosh’ noises that make your chest feel lighter.

“Yeah, Kid,” You mutter, “Jilguero.”

Playing copycat you bring the knife to your lips and shoosh before turning your attention back to the road, pulling forward into a back alleyway with iron wrought bars at the top of the walls. Light flows through the openings like a cage, making kaleidoscope images over your face. 

The darkness spreads, and all you hear is the labored breathing of your sputtering lungs; tiny feet pattering at your side. But in your mind, there’s a brand like a curse and a voice that never leaves. 

Not impressed. 

The scar on your chest burns.

–

You never make it to the church. 

Quickly picking up the girl, you duck behind an abandoned car as she yelps into your hold, dropping her stuffed animal. Shadows flooded the path ahead, leaking into the road from ransacked houses in groups. By now the rain had slowed – it was still coming down hard, of course, but it was just shy to the point of being safe to speak openly. Looking down, you place a finger to your lips, and a tanned finger mocks the action from the child at your side.

“--Found the three yet?” A shadow calls, and you tune in with a cocked eyebrow, eyes narrowed as your grip on your knife tightens.

“Nah, but I’ve heard comms are going silent from all different sections of the city. They’re out here somewhere. Cornered just like animals in a trap. We’ll flush ‘em out, then we go home and get our paychecks.”

A laugh.

“Yeah!” The previous Shadow yells out into the night, and you flinch slightly lower to the ground with a grimace, “You hear that?! We're gonna find you, Fuckers!” 

“Jamie, shut the hell up!” Jovial slaps to shoulders echo, and you don’t repress the growl that builds in you, anger shimmering as you glare holes into the ground. Mistake.

“Aye, what was that?”

“Shit, you heard that too?”

Fuck. 

Grabbing once more onto the girl’s arm you’re just about to make a reckless run for it when a small tapping catches your attention. You snap your head to a small window level with the ground, no bigger than a bookshelf cubby installed in the side of a dead house. Inside you see the scared face of a middle-aged man, dark-haired and sun-kissed skin, a beard over his cheeks. 

He waves a hand wildly and cracks the window open, eyes wide and snapping from you to the street. 

“¡Dése prisa! ¡Dése prisa!” Hesitating only a moment, you and the girl dart forward. Letting her shimmy her way inside first, you frantically look behind you as you place your free hand above the window; hearing footsteps splashing closer with a pounding heart. 

“Come on, come on, come on,” You mutter, knees pressing into the ground. When the girl’s blue nightgown fully disappears, you swing your rifle over your head and shove it into the opening. Feeling hands grasp it not a moment later and yank it inside, you sheathe your knife and dive in feet first, body slamming to the ground with a grunt and a cloud of dust. Your vision gets blurry as you lay there, trying to get air into your lungs, nearly dry-heaving from the pain radiating through all of your nerves.

The window snaps shut. 

“Get up,” A gruff voice ruffles your feathers as the back dots in your vision peel back, your survival instincts forcing unconsciousness away. Shit, you really needed a Medic, this was bad, “I said, get up!”

Panting, you drag yourself half-up with an arm, the other gripping the dripping gauze at your side. Blood hit the floor and your head feels like it's floating. 

You feel your throat flex, turning your gaze to the same large middle-aged man that now holds your rifle against his shoulder, familiar gold-plated barrel now level with your pounding head. 

“You fire that, you’re as good as dead.” 

“I’ll take my chances,” The man wears a blood-stained white shirt and jeans. Around his neck a silver locket glints.

Your heart skips a beat as you grunt in answer, and you turn your head to look for the girl. Feeling your eyes widen when you find her in the hold of an older woman, who looks at you as she presses the confused girl’s head into her breast. 

There’s a group here of at least fifteen people, huddled with fearful eyes. Most are women and children, but a few men watch you with distrustful eyes. 

In the older woman’s grip, the girl pulls back and eyes the man holding your rifle. She points at you as you blink in delirium.

“¡Jilguero!” Your arm buckles, but with a wet cough you catch yourself before you hit the ground as your radio sizzles to life.

“Goldfinch, you copy? Haven’t heard from you in a while, Ma’am,” Your breath sputters in your chest as Soap’s voice filters out, but you don’t answer right away. 

The man’s grip shakes the gun, but he keeps sending glances from you back to the girl. With a clenching of his jaw, he lowers the rifle.

“The only reason,” He growls, “you are here is because of her,” He looks at the child before walking over to you. Holding out a calloused hand as a peace offering, he continues, “If she wasn’t I would have let that Hijos de puta put a bullet in your head.” 

“Goldfinch,” Ghost now weighs in, “report. Now.” 

“I suggest you get that, Jilguero,” The many people around your two shuffle nervously, and your thoughts run.

How long before more Shadows break down the basement door of his place and find these people? 

“What do I call you?” You ask the man, slapping your hand into his own and allowing him to pull you up with a choking breath. 

“Just call me Manuel. Here,” He jerks his arm forward awkwardly, holding out your gun. It didn’t take an expert to know he had no clue how to handle the thing, “This is yours, I believe.”

“Word of advice, Manuel,” You send a slow smile his way before you grab and swing the weapon over your shoulders, “If you’re serious about using it, click the safety off next time.”

“Erm…”

You press the button on the radio as you look out the window, seeing a large group of flashlights descend into the darkness down further in the street. The Shadows were leaving.

“This is Goldfinch,” You flinch, fixing the weight on your legs, “No need to worry, boys.”

“That’s our job. Be lucky you have such enthusiastic partners whispering into your ear… You could have had Price barking orders instead.”

“Soap, never bring up the Captain. I can feel his hatred over the line just at the mention of his name.”

“Hatred? Is that what you think it is?”

“Both of you,” Ghost interrupts, and you have to hide a relieved sigh, “Shut the hell up.”

“Ah, you’re no fun, L.t.”

“Never said I was, Johnny.”

With that, you released the button and sank against the wall – utterly spent for the time being. Fisting at the wrappings around your middle, you draw them back just enough to peak at the damage to your side. Sucking in a deep breath sparks needles all along your ribs, but it’s all you can do to try and process the utter havoc that’s left of your flesh. The rag had helped stop the bleeding, but it had also made your flesh rip out in a way reminiscent of lightning, slowly making the wound bigger inch by inch.

It was drowned all the way through with crimson, and so too was the gauze. The sickly thick liquid you had felt when you were hobbling along in the streets hadn’t been rainwater. You had probably lost more blood than was good for you, by the way your limbs started to go numb and your fingers shook with shock. 

“That doesn’t look good,” Manuel comments, having kept a close eye on you during your conversation. 

“Yeah, doesn’t feel good, either.” Whimpering, you move the gauze and take the ends of the rag one at a time and ring them out, listening to the splatters of blood as they make slick pools on the floor. The pink skin of your insides is visible as your prod and pry. At least you know the bullet never hit anything important – you’d be dead by now. That didn’t make your dark thoughts take a break, though.

Trying to distract yourself and catch your breath, you send a glance around the room, looking at everyone present until you land on a flushed-faced Manuel. You weakly smirk, telling yourself not to scream as your legs nearly give out from under you.

“Don’t suppose you have a doctor in this room with you, huh?”

“Unfortunately not. I-I’m sorry,” You laugh, but it sounds more like a sob. Your eyes are glossy before you take a deep breath through the weight on your chest.

“No worries. Hey,” You try and straighten up, nearly doubling before you force yourself straight, “which way to the church? I have to meet up with my boys, and I, uh,” Chuckling as you stumble back into a wall you clutch your side numbly, “I just have to meet up with my boys.”

“You have a way out of the city?” Manuel perks up, taking a few steps closer to grab you by the shoulders. You flinch, but let him, watching his eyes fill with false hope.

“No,” His expression falls, “But if I make it there, I may find one. Ghost and Soap are some of the best men I’ve worked with. When we all get our brain cells clacking together, a plan’s sure to form.”

Probably not a good one, You keep the last portion to yourself with a grimace. 

Manuel turns his head away before squeezing your shoulders and releasing you. You watch him look around the room, taking in terrified faces and tear-stained cheeks as the dark walls swallow the area. The man looks back as you struggle to keep upright, one arm behind you and hand splayed against the wall. 

“You won’t make it there with that,��� Manuel points to your side and shakes his head, “No way. Not a chance.” 

“You want me to drag you all with me?” You raise an eyebrow, pushing off the wall and focusing on placing one foot in front of the other, stumbling to the basement door, “No. One was alright, but more than three is suicide. Everyone is–”

“--Safer here?” Manuel rushes after you, going to halt a few feet in front of the door with his arms out. He looked pitifully desperate, “Can you say that with certainty?” 

You growl, shoving past him and side-stepping limbs on the floor that skirt out of your way, “No, but you have more of a chance.”

“Goldfinch, change of plans,” Your eyes widen at the breathy-toned Manchester accent entering the room, “Church is compromised – Shadows have the place torn up. Make for the Market. And no need to fret over Johnny, the bastards’ with me.” 

“Shit,” You bring your hands to your head, running them over your hair and leaving streaks of blood in the strands before you grab the radio. You take a deep breath, “Copy.” 

Saying the words so calmly feels like a betrayal of your emotions. You were anything but undisturbed. Swallowing the blood and mucus in your throat, you hesitantly turn your head to Manuel, side-eyeing him.

He smiles smartly, “The Market’s one mile up the road.”

“...I want everyone up and ready to go in two minutes. Move it.” 

Hobbling to the door, you place your hand on the smooth texture as Manuel rushes to rouse the others. Taking a glance behind you, the girl stays close to the older woman who held her prior, clutching an apron that she wears. Your chest tightens as she stares at you.

Someone she knows, You think to yourself, good. They’ll look after her better than I could.

Two minutes come and go, and soon the small group is all standing holding meager belongings and family members to their chests. 

“Alright,” You mutter, nodding, “You know how to shoot?” Looking at Manuel, you grab the Basilisk on your thigh, flipping it to hold into the barrel and point the grip at the blank-faced man, “It’s a revolver, so it has one helluva kickback on it – only holds five rounds too. If you have to shoot, make it count.” 

“I-I’ve only shot a pistol before.”

“Well, then I hope you learn quickly. Safety’s off.”

Handing him the gun carefully, you swing your rifle over your shoulder and check the number of rounds you have left. Doing mental math as you shoulder the basement door open, you slowly ascend a set of stairs and end on the amount of twenty-five. 

Your jaw clenches.

Graves had turned before you could re-stock in Alejandro’s facility, leaving you with the bare minimum. 

Behind you, the group moves with muttered exhalations, whispering to each other fearfully. God, you could hear their heartbeats pounding in their chests without even looking; but it wasn’t like yours wasn’t beating just as fast. 

Almost got him killed in Serbia. 

“Shut up,” You growl to yourself, “Not now.” Leading them over the landing, your boots connecting with the hardwood floors; heading towards the front door as the world tilted. Bright colors shot across your vision like passing racecars.

“Easy there,” Manuel’s presence is heavy behind you, steady. You shuffle forward with a shake of your head. 

The Market, You do a head count behind you as you grab the front door handle, I just need to make it to the Market. 

Creaking the door open, you hold your rifle tighter as you stick your head out. 

Empty. 

“You stay on my ass, you hear me?” Throwing the inquiry over your shoulder you leave the house with your weapon scanning the streets, knowing that a Shadow could pounce from any angle. You had people to protect now; there was no bullshitting this.

“Wouldn’t miss it, Jilguero.”

“Very funny. Look, can’t you see me blushing.” Behind you, a nervous chuckle bounces off the dead houses, making an uneasy tremor wrack your spine. Keeping the conversation going, you wave the rest of the people over into an alleyway, watching them scurry to you and Manuel.

“‘Jilguero’ is Goldfinch in Spanish, I’m guessing?” 

“You would be right, take the next left, but I can’t help but tell you that’s not much of a name,” The man whispers as you hear your feet splash in a puddle, taking a corner, “What do you call yourself – besides Goldfinch of course?”

You take the next left as directed, “Nothing.” 

You make it to the market without having to fire a single bullet, though your knife has a few more stains to add to its sheen by the time everyone is staggering to a halt in the alleyway. Holding your hand up behind you to make them stop, you motion to the empty house to your left with two fingers and hear Manuel whispering in Spanish to help the civilians understand. 

When they all safely make it inside, you and Manuel wait as the pitter-patter of rain hits your heads, dripping down your cheeks and chin. Swallowing, you look out over the empty stalls and businesses and grip your rifle, but the Shadows are nowhere to be seen in the reflections of windows or heard on the wind. A red pickup truck sits near an overturned booth, and you blink at it in contemplation.

Bright white street lights illuminate the city, creating dark spots over the cobblestone. Bringing a hand to your radio, your gun sits under your armpit, parallel to your chest as Manuel shifts nervously behind you. You hear his quick breaths and frown.

“Ghost, Soap, I’m in an alleyway just outside the Market. Where are you?”

“Copy,” Soap responds first, only a moment after an unsteady silence weighs on your shoulders, “We’re nearly there.” 

“Copy,” You hesitate, “When you get here there’s a problem we need to address.”

“Anything deadly?”

“Heh,” Chuckling, your face twists in pain, “maybe.”

“We’ll get there as soon as we can, Goldfinch. Take it easy.” On the other end, the Sergeant was panting – running you realize. They must have really gotten into trouble leaving the Church, “Don’t want our favorite American kicking the bucket.”

“Favorite – I’m flattered.”

“Laswell takes a close second.”

“Less flattered.” 

Soap’s laughter cuts out when the sound of running feet from across the Market draws your attention away from the small device. Snapping your hands to your rifle, you steady your stance with half-lidded eyes, though you still feel your hands shake. 

Blood loss is one hell of a problem when you’re being hunted like an animal. 

Across the road, two men rush out into the light, large frames creating more moving shadows as their steps bounce off the buildings. 

“That’s them,” You turn to Manuel and nod your head, “Don’t shoot ‘em.”

The man lowers the Basilisk to his side. 

Bringing your fingers to your lips, you feel your lungs sputter as you let out a thin whistle, impersonating a bird call. 

Ghost’s masked face and Soaps tense one snap to you with their guns raised. Instincts still sharp as a blade despite the overwhelming circumstances they were in. Immediately the two noticed your disheveled form and shared a quick glance. 

They rush over with pounding feet. 

“Hells Bells, Goldfinch,” Soap grabs your shoulder with one hand, the other still clutching his gun with tight fingers as you stare at him blankly. He got over to you so fast you feel like you blacked out for a second, “You never told us it was this bad.”

Ghost grunts as he eyes Manuel, pointedly glaring at the revolver in his grip with untrustworthy eyes. He comments to you, “Can you keep going?”

“Always, Sir.” You respond immediately, a wavering smirk coming to your face. Letting Soap help you stand to your full height, you suck in greedy breaths, “But we have a bigger problem.”

The Scot scoffs, looking you over, “Bigger than a damn hole in your side?”

“Yes,” Nodding to the house where the group all huddle, you see their heads peaking out from under the window. The child’s little hands grip the windowsill like a kid on Christmas, trying to sneak the last cookie away, “namely a group of CIVs.” 

Manuel takes a step forward, and you feel Soap's arm on your bicep tighten. He slightly moves to put you behind him, his shoulder bumping into your field of view. He had noticed the man before – they both had – but seeing your Basilisk in his hands had made them overlook his presence for a moment. If you had given the man your revolver, you trusted him with it, and seeing if you were alright took priority.

“Easy,” You mutter, “He’s with me.”

“The group is mostly women and children,” Manuel pleads, “If the men from before come back, they’ll all be killed. I have to get them out of the city, tonight.” 

“That’s not our problem.” Ghost’s voice is cold and logical. He won’t endanger his squad’s lives, “You’re not our mission, and you’ve done fine so far.” They’ve all been put through the wringer, and dragging along others will attract attention that no one wants. It was more about saving his squad’s hide than the other way around.

But that’s a death sentence for the innocents who are watching from behind the window, eyes wide with fear. You made your decision the second you dragged them out into the street. They were your responsibility now.

“That’s nearly what she said,” The local man points to you and Ghost takes a step forward threateningly. In any other situation, the response from your boys would have been heartwarming.

“I’m not…leaving them here.” You force out from numb lips and feel more than see Soap whip his head down to you. 

“Your joking! Lass, you can barely walk by yourself!”

“We don’t need another Serbia on our hands, Goldfinch. You’re coming with us.” Laughing, you shake your head at the Manchester man.

“Next time you see Price, tell him he was right, yeah? He’ll know what I mean.”

“Goldfinch,” Ghost thumps over to you, gargantuan body making you seem even tinier, “I don’t think you’re understanding me: that’s a fucking order, soldier.”

“Would now be a bad time to tell you I only take orders from Laswell?” You chuckle, shaking off Soap's increasingly tight grip; like he could drag you away into the night without you clocking him in the jaw. Your head turns to the red pickup with intent.

“Hotwire the truck – get the hell out of the city.” 

“Bullshit. No way in hell are we leaving you here for the Shadows.” Soap spits, taking a step back from you and shaking his head so hard his wet mohawk sprays more water into your face, “I won’t stand for it. We leave here together, or not at all.”

“Graves’ll tear you to pieces if he finds you here,” Ghost stares you down with those unblinking eyes before looking to the tuck in the Market, “not to mention you’re wounded. You won’t last on your own, and with a group of CIVs to keep under check your chance of survival drops to zero.”

“Alejandro said he had a safehouse, yes?” You begin, not finding any other option for yourself to make them understand, “you know the way by road, Ghost, but he also explained a way through the mountains. It’s long, but it leads to the same place. I know the way. I can lead the people through it; get them to safety. I doubt the Shadows will follow beyond city limits – that's not their orders, and Graves is a little shit about that kind of stuff.”

A beat of silence. Soap clenches his hands and gnashes his teeth. He would be more difficult to persuade about this than Ghost. Too loyal to people; cares too much.

It’s not a bad quality to have, You say to yourself, but it clouds your judgment. Makes you…sloppy.

Something clicks in your head, but you don’t have the time to think about it before Ghost is answering you with a grave tone.

“That adds nearly half a day of hard hiking, Goldie…You sure you’re up for that?”

“You can’t seriously be considering this, L.t.!” Soap yells, voice bouncing over the rain, “She’ll die!”

“Better it means something, eh?” As his face drops, you send the Scot a small smile, “Soap…I can’t leave these people to die here. Never been able to, and I won’t start now. You can fight me on this, but you know it won’t end well for you.”

Manuel lets out a snort a few feet away but quickly shuts up when Ghost sends a glare his way.

You watch with guilt in your chest as the bear of a man’s shoulders deflate, eyes turning into that of a kicked puppy. Looking to the side, he grunts.

“...Let me look at the gunshot wound.” Soap gives in, knowing he can’t change your mind, and swings his weapon over his shoulders before ripping open his medical pouch, “No way am I letting you go without trying my best to patch you up.”

Pulling back the gauze and the remains of your shirt, you hike your vest up so he can get a better look as his fingers poke at the skin. The wound festers with sickness, puckered flesh-like lips around the sagging rag it clings to. You don’t even want to look at it, and judging by Soap's quick breath in, he doesn’t either. Ghost burns holes into the side of your face. 

The Scot’s finger prod at the rag, eliciting a snarl in turn from your mouth.

“Ask a girl out first before you go lifting her shirt up?” 

He doesn't miss a beat.

“I’ll leave Price for that – if the man ever gets his shite together that is. You both deserve each other.”

“Stubborn bastards,” Ghost agrees, leaning back to look into the Market impatiently, “Make it quick Johnny.”

You feel your face heat to an unexplainable level, disbelief pulsing in your veins. All of these comments about Price – Price this, Price that. God, what were these boys trying to do here?

Ask me out? What the fuck is this man on? How many times do I have to tell him how much Price hates me before it takes hold?

But you stay quiet, holding your tongue as the Scot gets to work.

Soap can’t do much to help without making you immediately bleed out in front of him. They have no intense medic experience, no good equipment, and no hope of making the wound disappear into thin air like a magician: though you have no doubt Soap would have tried if it meant it would make you better. 

All he does is apply an antibacterial solution and re-dress the wound, getting his gloves all bloody in the process as they drip crimson down into the street. As he packs more gauze around the rag to suck up more blood and try to stop the bleeding, you force back the nausea in your throat. 

“Not a chance you have any Advil in that pack of yours, Suds?” Soap sends a serious look up at you, now going to string a long tourniquet around your waist. He ties it tight.

“Sorry, Ma’am.”

“Damn, knew I was unlucky today, ” You pant.

Ghost steps forward, hands still gripping his gun, “Johnny,” He whispers, “We’ve got to go. Shadows on the move, I can hear ‘em coming.”

“Go,” You mutter, grabbing his hands in your own and forcing them away. Grabbing the rifle you had put aside, you take a few steps back from the boys who had just gone through hell to get back together and make it out. The only problem was they were now one member short, “I’ll get these people out of here and we’ll meet at the safe house in a day’s time max.”

“We better see you there, Goldie,” Ghost grumbles, “I never gave you permission to die on me.” He turns first, jogging his way to the pickup as shouts pick up on the other side of the city. 

“Yes, Sir,” You snort, nearly feeling your legs give you before you right yourself. Soap stands still, watching with guilt-ridden eyes. He reaches into his medical pouch and produces a single white stick. You tilt your head.

“Adrenaline shot,” He explains, walking over to you and slipping it into one of your front pouches. He swallows thickly, “I better see you there, Goldfinch.”

You smile lightly, eyes crinkling despite the hopelessness of his tone, “Get Alejandro back in the meantime, yeah? He still has to play guitar for me at some point.” 

—

Price has never felt like this before. His chest sputters, heart palpitating in his breast harshly. He knew how to respond to any situation imaginable – a gunshot, a stab wound, his comrades falling around him like flies and how to push on through it. But this…? Why did he feel like this now?

Where the hell is that damn woman, He feels his lips turn into a harsh frown as he enters the armory of the safe house, multiple racks of weapons and armored trucks passing in the corners of his eyes like phantoms.

It’s been two days since anyone had seen or heard from you, and in the meantime, Soap, Ghost, and Rodolfo had broken out the Mexican Special Forces from their overtaken HQ, and Price and Gaz had come in to assist. But still, there was no Goldfinch. 

The Captain could tell the tension in his shoulders had gotten worse. When he hadn’t seen you with the boys breaking into Alejandro’s HQ to free the men…

It was like his heart had stopped working properly since.

“Ghost, Soap!” John calls, voice authoritative as it echoes off the wooden walls. Many of the Vaqueros in the room turn to look, backs unconsciously straightening at the Captains intimidating presence. The named men look up from the large brainstorming table they were hunched over. Alejandro and Rodolfo stand next to them while Gaz trails behind Price swiftly, watching the older man with concern, “Anything on Goldfinch?”

Soap glances at Ghost.

“Nothing, Sir.”

“Negative,” Ghost continues, straightening his spine, “I checked about a mile down the path – there’s no sign. Nothing from the radio either.”

Alejandro speaks up, his face twisting down into a frown as Price and Gaz make it to the table, “The mountains are difficult terrain – radio antennas can’t get a signal out through it. That’s why I hesitated to tell you the way when we first met,” He clenches his hands over the table, looking down at the map set over the wood, “Taking that path…It’s not something most of my men would ever dare to do.”

“And taking it injured – nonetheless with the wound that Soap described,” Rodolfo takes a glance at John, shaking his head with a hesitant look in his brown eyes, “It’s not promising, Captain.”

“The girl’s strong,” Soap grunts, tilting his head in denial as his jaw clenches, “Goldfinch is alive. We just have to wait–”

“We don’t have the time to wait, MacTavish,” Price interjects, crossing his arms over his chest and setting his legs shoulder-width apart, looking down at the map with hidden emotions. The mission came first…right? 

Then why did John feel so fuckin’ bad about his decision?

“Graves’ll be vulnerable because of the prison break – on high alert, but that type of thinking always makes people like him sloppy. We have the advantage right now,” Price sighs, lowering his voice to no more than a grunt, as the bucket hat on his head tilts forward, “and I’d rather not lose it.”

A tense silence settles before Gaz speaks up.

“Are…you sure that’s best, Sir?” The man asks, “Goldfinch is one of us. We can’t just leave without her.”

“She made her choice, Sergeant, eh?” Price mutters, eyes snapping from one marked-out path on the paper as if he could find your body between the folds and red ‘x’s’ or if you’d magically appear from the fibers popping up with that damned happy-go-lucky smile that made him want to smash his lips against yours. 

Price stills at the thought, hands tightening over the flesh of his arms.

Anyone could see John was pushed against a wall with this. 

Graves, or you. The mission, or…you.

He’d never have brought you into this if it had been his choice – tried to shove you away from it with all his power already. But all he had done was force you right into the middle of this shitshow with all of your infuriating goodness. John wouldn’t have bothered to drag civilians into this; his mode of thinking was the needs of the many over the few, as you had pointed out to him in Serbia with such an outburst that the man was half convinced you would give yourself a heart attack. You were just so different from him.

That’s why you love her, A voice hisses in the back of his head.

I’d known she’d do something like this - put her damn life on the line like it meant nothing, Price clenched his teeth, and I sent her away anyways. I should have been here…fuckin' hell.

“We take back Alejandro’s HQ in two days,” John relents only slightly, cursing the hope in his chest singing that you would show up. You had to. Everyone at the table perks at the comment, not previously having any ideas of how to persuade the mission-focused man to relent in his choices. 

Soap has a large smile blossom over his face, and he and Rodolfo share a mischievous look; Ghost shakes his head at the pair and their insurance of getting involved in whatever Goldfinch and the Captain had going on. 

But it was incredibly confusing to everybody, to say the least. 

Even some of the Vaqueros you had been friendly with looked at each other with smiles on their faces. None had wanted you to be presumed dead.

Price continues, “But I can’t do more than—”

“Alejandro!” A yell shatters the Safehouse, and soon one of the Colonel’s men comes springing into the room. 

Everyone’s hands are on their weapons in an instant, bodies tense and ready to strike.

“Shit, is it Shadows?!” Gaz asks, but the individual rushes past and grabs Alejandro by the arm.

“¡Es Jilguero! ¡Ella está aquí! ¡Ella tiene sobrevivientes de Las Almas con ella! ¡Venga, rápido, coronel!” 

“Jilguero?” Price asks with a hard voice, partially already knowing but not wanting to be disappointed, “What does that–”

“It’s her!” The man says, rushing past the others as everyone else immediately begins sprinting out of the room, talk of Shadows and strategy thrown to the side without a second thought. 

It was you. Impossibly, it was you.

John doesn’t think as he rushes past everyone, adrenaline pumping from his heart down to his feet. He can’t seem to think about anything else besides you – your face, hair, body – and feels his stomach roll with an unidentified emotion. All that mattered was you, and he hated himself for it.

She’s back. She’s alive.

Price reaches the front door faster than anyone else, the packs on his vest weighing him down, and the gun over his shoulders jolts with every heavy step that slams to the dirt floor. He slams it open with a shoulder, feet skidding over the ground. 

—

You don’t know where the pain stops and you begin. Stumbling forward you hear the happy cries of the people who had come into your care meeting the warm afternoon air, stirring the leaves and bushes. 

“The safe house is just ahead, Jilguero,” Manuel keeps you upright with a hand around your waist, your arm over his firm shoulders. No doubt he was covered in your blood from head to toe – he’d been the sole thing keeping you on your feet for half the day.

You’d been forced to cauterize your bullet wound yesterday, and, admittingly, it was a shotty job. Your hands had been too shaky to hold your combat knife steady, leaving long sections of your side burned and blistered that weren’t even connected to the source of your problems. 

But it had stopped the bleeding for a while, at least. Manuel had to stitch you up, using the fishing line and needle you had stuffed into your medical pouch when this nightmare had begun. That too was suspect to improvement, but the man had done the best he could while panicking over your unconscious, flesh sizzling, body. All things considered for his first time stitching skin, he had done better than expected.

The sutures had ripped open on the last stretch of the hike.

“‘Bout time,” You wheeze, forcing your feet to carry your forward. The amount of sweat, blood, and dirt that was caked over your body made you want to gag, but no one else was any better. You suck in weak, gasping, breaths.

“Let me walk,” Gasping, you begin moving away from Manuel the closer the outline of trees becomes. 

“Whoa, careful there,” He says, but lets you go. Manuel stays close, watching you limp to the treeline on unsteady legs, “Stubborn.” The man mutters under his lips.

“Heard that,” You snort painfully, slowly making your way into the open with one hand over your side, trying to keep the bleeding to a minimum. 

When you enter the safe house’s clearing, your eyes squint against the light, turning your head away sharply. 

“Goldfinch!” Gaz’s voice reaches you first, making you flinch from how loud it was. Lifting your head, you blink away the dots and lock onto the multitude of people all gobsmacked on the lawn. You raise an eyebrow glancing for a moment at the various civilians being embraced by Vaqueros. 

Many were crying.

Family members? You ask yourself, watching with a small smile before looking back to the task at hand.

“Hell, you really brought out the welcoming comity, didn’t you? Miss me that much, boys?”

Soap points at you, beginning to make his way over, “You’re a damned day late, Ma’am! You should get written up for all the worry–”

Price places a heavy hand on the Scot’s shoulder, stopping him with a small skid across the earth.

Oh, fuck, You curse. 

You hadn’t even noticed the Captain, too focused on getting somewhere to rest, and finally, put the burning behind your eyes to bed. God, did your side ache something awful.

“C-captain,” You laugh breathlessly, voice cracking and eyes nervously filtering about. Manuel leaves your side to go greet a Vaquero who claps him on the shoulder lovingly, “Good to see you, Sir.”

Silence. 

He’s pissed.

Price takes a deep breath, and you see his chest inflate as he stares you down with those narrowed blue eyes that you love to hate. His body is partially vibrating with rage.

Not Impressed. 

Nearly got him killed in Serbia.

“Price…I–” You’re cut off with a sharp bark.

“You disobeyed orders!” The enraged man begins, face becoming a deep red under his beard. You watch with tense shoulders as John begins stalking over, his feet so heavy on the dirt they create puffs under his feet. Everyone halts to listen, too afraid to intervene, “Ran off without the security of your squad! Put your life in danger and yourself above the mission!” 

Your head sags, chin falling to your chest as you stare hard at the ground. Price’s shadow gets closer, his voice not falling as that authoritative tone rips into your self-confidence.

“Nearly got yourself killed! What do you think would have happened if you died? Who’s fault would that have been, Goldfinch? Oh, right, your sorry Muppet self!” 

His body heat leaked into you as you took the words he spits at you, British accent becoming even more prominent as his rage rises to new heights. You’d never seen him this angry before. Against your will, glossiness coats the sheen of your eyes, collecting in your tear ducts. You could feel John’s ragged breath on the top of your head, rustling your hair. He was breathing so heavily you would have thought he had just run a marathon.

He’s so warm, dizzy, and more exhausted than you had ever felt before, you take a deep breath. It was getting harder and harder to stand every second. But you were so done with this cat and mouse game, Price, please, hold me. I’m tired. 

You don’t know where the thought comes from, but this one you don’t try to fight. 

“Is there anything you have to say for yourself, Agent?” John growls, and you look to see his hands clenched at his side. Shaking. 

You don’t look at his face, content with watching his heart beat wildly in his chest, a small smirk growing on your lips. Maybe you’d just cracked the code for all of his attitudes, his supposed hatred.

Maybe he loved to hate you just the same as you did him.

Your head falls forward, hitting on his chest just above his heart. You feel more than see his chest still in shock as your forehead angles itself above the bulkiness of his pouches. 

“You can yell at me all you want, John,” You whisper, “but let me lean on you, first. You’re warm.” 

Price’s body jolts like you electrocuted him, but after a minute of steady breathing and feeling his eyes boring into the side of your pain-screwed face, an all-encompassing hand makes its way to your head. Finally. It presses into you, pushing your body just a little closer to the man who, up until this moment, had never understood. But, apparently, he didn’t understand you, either. 

That was probably because both of you were stubborn bastards. 

John’s breath tickles your ears as he tilts his head to the side, knocking it against yours as you feel that stupid hat hitting your scalp. You release a gentle sigh, letting the tension leak out of you as whispered conversations flow all around. But here, at this moment, all you think about is John. About the way his hand fit so perfectly at the back of your head, his thumb moving up and down in soothing motions that leave your eyes fluttering shut in safety. His other gravitated to your waist, carefully whispering over the bandages of your injury. Checking the wrappings and running calloused fingers over the bulk of the stitches.

Was this what you had been missing this entire time?

“Stay awake for me, sweetheart,” He mutters, anger turning into something else as John’s lips caress against your skin so sweetly it leaves you with tears tracking down your cheeks; muffled inhalations of sobbing breaths stuck in your throat, “You’re alright, now. I’ve got you.” 

“Don’t let go,” You sniffle, body shaking despite your best efforts. The hand on the back of your head travels to your cheek, wiping away the rouge tears as his callouses scratch your skin perfectly. 

Your eyes open slowly, locking immediately on deep ocean blue, with lighting striking every time eyelids closed delicately. You hadn’t seen those eyes so softly meeting yours since before Serbia. 

“Never,” John whispers, thumb once more rubbing over your flushed cheeks, so close you could move an inch and your lips would connect. “Never again.” 

All you do is smile, feeling the heat in the air become thicker the more you feel John's breath over your lips, his gaze flickering down before snapping back to your shimmering eyes once more.

But, unfortunately, there is a time and a place.

“Fuckin' finally!” Soap’s voice shatters the calm moment, rising above the chirping birds and jerking the two of you out of whatever was sparking, “Ghost you owe me a fifty!”

“Johnny, do me a favor and shut up, would you?”

Laughter bounces, but all you do is close your eyes once more, pulling away to nuzzle your face into John’s neck. Your arms stay limp at your sides.

“Think you can walk for me, Finch?” He asks lowly, pressing his lips to the side of your head and making your face turn into a bonfire as he leaves a kiss behind.

It was a promise – we’ll talk later. 

Your pride rears its head inside your breast for a moment. 

“Y-yeah,” You stutter, head pounding when you force your eyelids open to see the path ahead of you.

Price grunts.

“Stubborn,” Suddenly hands are gently moving you up into a hold, arms settling under your knees and over your shoulders. When he lifts you so effortlessly, you can’t help the gasp that escapes you. Your rifle sits uncomfortably along your back, but you don’t complain, because John had somehow managed to lift you without aggravating your wound further,. But of course he had – this was Captain John Price, “We’ll have to work on that, Agent.”

“No more than I’ll have to with you, Captain. You’ve got it worse than me.”

“Hm, you’re probably right.” Blinking at him, your eyes crease in confusion, but he only smirks, white teeth flashing. 

Scrunching your nose, you put your head under his chin, forcing his head up with a grunt. 

You grumble, “Tell Manuel to give my Basilisk back, would you?” 

John walks through the threshold of the safe house, nodding to the others to tell them he can handle it as Gaz sends a smirk and a tweaked eyebrow his way. Price won’t even try to decipher that. The rest give you soft glances that you miss, and Alejandro knows he’ll have to thank you personally later for everything you did for Las Almas and its people. But he knows that right now there’s something special going on. He’ll wait.

The Captain chuckles at your comment, even if he doesn’t know who the hell ‘Manuel’ is, “Well, it’s your gun, isn’t it? Why don’t you tell him, eh?”

But all he felt was the sensation of your sleeping body slotted under his head, lips touching his Adam’s Apple and making him shiver as soft breaths fall. John pulled you impossibly closer.

Making his way to the corner, he carefully rested your body on an empty cot and waved over a Vaqueros with medical supplies and ample training. 

As the Medic worked on you – lifting up your shirt to see the mangled remains of your side and the botched sutures – Price sucked in a quiet breath and watched with his arms folded over his chest. 

In his head, he was telling himself to not reach out to you, let the Medic work, but when your unconscious face twisted in pain he didn’t hesitate. He snatched your hand with your own and watched the wrinkles in your forehead soften as his thumb rubbed the length of the back of your hand.

Pride blossomed in his chest. He could fix this mess he made; you both made.

He smiled.

“You impressed me, Goldfinch. Always have.”

—

Serbia: August 15th, 1700 Hrs. – 

You swore if you lived, you would love John Price for the rest of your life. 

“What in the bloody hell were you thinking, Muppet!?” The Captain screamed at you as he hand a tight compression to your chest, blood leaking from his fingertips and pooling on the ground, leaving your combat vest in tatters. 

If you hadn’t been prioritizing those damned civilians this never would have happened. A knife to the chest is never a good thing, and John was sure that you were going to die under him as he screamed at you in anger and fear; eyes glossy.

An imposter in the crowd, a liar, and the second you had checked to see if the man was alright, he had struck. 

John had seen you go down and immediately put a bullet through the man’s skull with an enraged yell. He watched you hit the ground like you meant nothing.

“I told you to run! Goldfinch, I fucking told you to run!” Blood shot from your mouth, splashing Price’s face in a spray of gore. Your eyes were fluttering.

No, no, no. Not like this.

“You never listen! Fuck!” Damn you for making him fall in love with you. Damn you. Damn you. Damn you. Always running into danger, going where he can’t follow, you gave him a heart attack every time you were away from his side.

“Keep your bloody eyes open, Goldfinch! Keep them on me…! Fuckin' hell…where's the damn Medic!?”

John Price swore to himself that, if you lived through this, he would hate you for the rest of his life. 

[yorkistarbomb]

This song is so fiddleauthor coded it makes me want to die. So instead i make a lyrical breakdown of certain section to cope. Listening to this song from Fiddleford’s perspective!!

“That evening, just me and you

Through rosy tinted hues 

A promise of fairer winds that never blew”

—> — . —  . —  . —>

I can imagine that this scene takes place back when Standford and Fiddleford was in college. With Fiddleford bringing Stanford out to enjoy the morning view but, Stanford stays wrapped up in his speech about how they’re going to be part of something bigger. Blinded by his own “rose tinted glasses” as they discuss the future. 

These lines also reference the saying, “red sky in the morning, Shepherds warning” Although the rose-tinted sky gives the atmosphere of romance between the two, it’s actually a warning of storms approaching. Doomed yoai, what can I say. 

“Vermilion claims to say the sun will stay”

—> — . —  . —  . —>

This obviously being attributed to a false promise of the future, perhaps even by a certain yellow muse?

“And yet my heart holds close the storm as it breaks”

—> — . —  . —  . —>

Stanford continuously reaching for a dream thats doomed to fail. Leaving Fiddleford to watch as his friend hurdles himself into the gates of hell.

“I could live to be a hurricane

Turn into a tempest, violent, silent in the eye

All whirling, gusting, wuthering”

—> — . —  . —  . —>

Gay Yearning. Yeah. To me this encapsulates just how willing Fiddleford was to destroy his entire life to forget what he saw in that portal, to forget him. So he could live without the guilt of leaving him to suffer on his own. 

“Could it be enough to change the way you use my name?”

—> — . —  . —  . —>

Even so, deep inside Fiddleford still remembers the tender moments with Standford. With the potent feeling of wanting for something more, warped and shredded along what’s left of his memories.

“Remain in weekday

(I’m okay)

I stay for all that aches”

—> — . —  . —  . —>

Despite what he suffered from the project with Stanford, Fiddleford never went back home to his wife and kids in California. Perhaps from the guilt that he could have a hand at ending the world, being an absent dad, being ashamed for allowing himself to be caught up in something much bigger than himself, and leaving behind the man that he loved.

Burrowing in the cycle of self hate and substance abuse.

“Didn't you see the news today?

I heard they said it looked like rain

All the words I left unsaid that day

Stained the sidewalk drop by drop with gray, oh

Rain or shine, my heart won't dry

So why can't I look away? 

The weather forecast's calling for another cloudy day”

—> — . —  . —  . —>

Yeah this part speaks for itself 

Blessed with a fiddleauthor doodle as a thanks for reading to the end //>w<//

[rayveneyed]

that cowboy au was really good 🥹 would you consider doing a part 2?

cw: mentions of death, violence, objectively amoral decisions; mentions of marriage, alcohol

the presence of gojo satoru can only mean trouble.

red sky in the morning — shepherd’s warning. nanami kento tries not to take the sight of it personally, tries not to take simple wonders of nature as omen — but it sits like a lump of coal in his stomach all through the morning and well into the afternoon. he doesn’t know why this particular day seems to be the harbinger of something terrible, but sure enough, just after he finishes milking the cows and putting them out to graze, one of the village kids runs up on him. flushed with excitement and hair windswept, the little one calls his name — mister kento! mister kento! hey, over here, mister kento! strange white-haired fella’s lookin’ for you, skulkin’ ‘round the saloon!

it’s a small-town child’s excitement — a stranger in such a quiet place, one where the closest train station is a town or two over, and the most exciting thing to happen is a travelling merchant every few months. kento’s dread, then, is ice-water over the head in comparison. white-haired. gojo, the bastard. and loitering around the saloon, where you’re working — before he can even think twice, he’s running off to mount his closest horse, and taking the dirt road at a frantic gallop.

not many words in any spoken language could describe exactly how nanami kento feels about gojo satoru. there’s a fondness there — they had, after all, fought and lived side-by-side for years, since they were boys. there was admiration for gojo’s tenacity and drive, no doubt, but there was hatred in equal measure. hatred for the man gojo had urged nanami to become — hatred for the shit he’d been told to do. hatred for the simple fact that, at the end of the day, gojo’s brashness had only ever gotten other people killed.

(and fear. fear that, like he had done a hundred times before, gojo would worm his way into nanami’s head, and convince him to return before he knew what he was agreeing to.)

through the dust kicked up by his mare’s cantering hooves, the humble saloon comes into sight; only a single floor, nothing like the multi-story pleasure houses of san francisco. then again, kento’s never much cared for them, or the beckoning women of the night, or the violent brawls that would break out every few minutes. somewhere quiet to drink in peace, suits him just fine, and that’s here. though with gojo satoru around, peace never lingers long.

he takes the stairs two at a time, pushing through the doors, and—

“always been a city boy, myself,” comes that familiar voice. instantly, kento’s eyes shoot towards it — towards you. “towns like this never did quite suit me — y’know, a man needs a bit of noise in his life!”

oh, noise had been the least of what gojo had gotten himself. blood and guts and bullet wounds, wanted posters with his name and mug plastered all over it.

he shouldn’t be here. it’s almost unnatural for him to be here, sitting in old man tom's favourite seat, lounging like he owned the place.

“now, pretty thing like you,” he hears gojo croon, low and smooth like always, the type of voice that weakened women’s knees, “you shoot me a look, sweetheart, i reckon i’d stay in this sleepy little town a lot longer.”

something like panic sits itself in kento’s chest, and he can’t put one damned finger on what it is. the clashing of two lives — gojo, with his hat drawn low over bright blue eyes, his jacket as dark and fitting as always; this dusty little saloon, with its untuned piano and cheap swill; you, with your hair tied up and your neckline low, with those eyes he knows gojo likes—

“charming,” he hears you say, dry, completely unimpressed. the tightness in his chest eases, a little, and then you seem to realise he’s approaching — your gaze lifts over gojo’s head, and your eyes brighten, and golly — ain’t that something? your smile, at his simple presence? like he was something to look forward to? “mister kento, you’re a man desired — this gentleman’s been looking all over for you, apparently.”

gojo turns those baby blues on him, expectant, and kento sighs as he takes the seat next to him — gently accepts your offer of a drink with a thank you kindly. gojo thanks you, too — calls you sweetness, and kento pretends that it doesn’t unsettle his soul. you resign yourself to the end of the bar to give them some semblance of privacy, wiping at glasses with a cloth to rid them of water-stains and dust.

they sit in silence for a moment, listening to the cicadas calling outside and the distant squeals of playing children. gojo, as usual, is the first to break it.

“been a while, ain’t it? gotta say, wasn’t expectin’ you to go all out on this country life thing, old friend.”

kento pretends not to see the spectre of you in the corner of his eye — pretends that he’s not vastly aware of how he has to balance two personas right now. he keeps his irritation low and tempered, cupping his glass between his hands; still, he knows his voice is frosty when he says: “what are you doing here?”

“oh, so cold, kento! and after all we’ve been through together…”

he restrains a frustrated sigh. dancing around it — that’s gojo. deceptively childish but incredibly intelligent — can’t just come out and say something. and kento could be doing something else right about now, something far more important — in fact, he should already be thinking of how to explain gojo’s abrupt appearance here to you. cousin twice removed? long estranged brother? childhood friend with a troubled streak? “doubt you came to see me outta the goodness of your heart. i’ve got no interest in whatever it is you’re peddling. you wanna drink, let’s drink. nothing else.”

“oh, come now. i gotta be after somethin’ to visit you?”

nanami shoots him an unimpressed look — gojo at least has the shame to wince. he takes another sip of his drink, and they both stare at the dusty shelves of booze, until finally, he shrugs.

“listen: this place is gonna drive you mad, kento,” he says, underhandedly casual, sipping on moonshine and syrup. he always did have a sweet tooth. “the silence’ll do you in.”

a thread of irritation tugs itself through kento’s brow. “silence drives you mad. suits me just fine.”

kento doesn’t know what’s more hurtful — the idea that gojo doesn’t know him at all, or that he does, and just doesn’t care to speak to him like it. he knows exactly what game gojo is playing at — badgering him out of his life of peace to join the gang again, fill the empty space left by geto and haibara and god knows who else that’s gone. he could do him the courtesy of being a little more believable, though. less patronising.

this doesn’t suit you. you don’t deserve something good like this, not after what you’ve done. stick to what you know, kento — and what do you know? violence. greed.

“c’mon, kento. you’re better than this, y’know.”

kento fingers tighten on the handle of his cup. his gums feel bruised where his teeth grit together — his anger like a reddening metal on the verge of turning white-hot. “you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

“you’ve been up and down this goddamned country—” gojo, at least, has the mind to lower his voice, then, glancing over his shoulder— “tyin’ sheriffs up in knots, laying your pockets with gold, and you think this shithole will satisfy you any?”

that’s enough to send kento’s temper skyrocketing — and he, by no means, is an angry man, but shithole is not how he’d describe it in any capacity — this place that had accepted him with little wariness, treated him with kindness, asked very little questions—

“you’re steppin’ way outta line, gojo—”

but his white-haired companion has always been willing to push the bounds of just about anything — and, leaning closer, devilish smile tugging at his lips, says: “hopin’ that, uh, busty barmaid over there’s gonna make you an honest man? huh? i mean, hell, i wouldn’t blame you, but—”

nanami’s glass hits the countertop with such force it rings throughout the saloon — he can feel it draw the gaze of most everyone around. you, the few daytime drinkers. the low murmurs of conversation drew to an abrupt stop. when he glances in your direction, he sees you almost caught mid-action, brows drawn tight as you make to intervene.

maybe it’s the look in his eye that makes you stop; the serious, humourless glint he’s let himself lose the past few months. maybe it’s the tense set of his jaw. either way, you nod a little, and step back to what you were doing — but your gaze remains, ever-watchful.

nanami levels gojo with a glare so horrid he’s sure he’s never used it on him before; and, sure enough, blue-eyed gojo glares right back.

for a moment — for a short, traitorous moment, he regrets leaving his handy pistol back home. he hasn’t had to carry it in months. he hasn’t ever had to carry it for gojo, of all people, but he saw just how quickly the gang had turned on themselves — how quickly trust was lost. and after the loss of haibara, and geto’s betrayal, who knew what state of mind gojo was in?

kento’s fingers flex.

a beat passes.

and then — gojo’s face breaks out in a gleaming, cheeky smile, and his shoulders jump with loud, sonorous laughter. relief is near palpable in kento’s chest, the tension that had suctioned itself to his bones easing just slightly. “hah, you’re just a riot, ken!”

then, slapping a hand on kento’s shoulder and leaning forward, gojo calms a little. nanami gets the sudden feeling that it was all a rouse, right from the start. is he so out of practice he can’t tell what’s real and what’s fake anymore? once upon a time gojo’s jokes and fancies wouldn’t have made him blink an eye.

“just pullin’ your leg,” gojo says.

“you piss me off.”

“can’t lie—” gojo continues— “i was hopin’ to bring you back with me. but this shit really does suit you, y’know.” his smile takes a saddened edge — nostalgic, no doubt, for the life they once led. the stupidity and rashness of it all. sometimes the same feeling hit kento — and then he remembered the bad of it all, and he tucked it back deep inside himself. “country air, quiet life. settle down with a nice woman.”

his eyes trail over to the right — and this time, when his eyes settle on you, nanami feels no overwhelming protectiveness, no urge to drag gojo out by his silver locks or shoo him out. he feels a fool for doubting gojo in the first place. “things out here make the cities look like hell by comparison.”

“it’s a simple life,” kento agrees plainly. his heart still thrums heavy in his chest. he finally takes a proper gulp of his drink — actually tastes it instead of just letting it pass down his throat. “you should try it sometime.”

“wasn’t lying earlier. think the quiet would have me seein’—” he chokes on a bark-like laugh— “ghosts, and the like.”

haibara. riko. yaga.

“mm.”

they go back to staring at the shelves in silence. kento doesn’t know what to say. he’s never been a man of many words, but what does one say in this situation, anyways? i’m sorry geto left. i’m sorry haibara died. i hate that it was your fault, and i hate that it wasn’t. i don’t like the man i am when i’m around you, but it’s really all i know. you’re my brother, and i hate and love you in equal measure.

a trickling sound interrupts his thoughts. his cup is being refilled — and then gojo’s. extra syrup, despite the fact that sugar is expensive as all hell.

“looks like y’all could use it,” you say by way of explanation, a sorry little smile on your face. when you meet his eyes, it spreads, just a little — an extra nudge, just for him. “i’ll get outta your hair now.”

“thank you for the drink,” kento says quietly.

“thanks,” gojo echoes. he watches you go, and swirls his drink idly around in his cup. “y’know, you got somethin’ good here, ken. hate to say it.”

“mm. the farm, it — it, uh, keeps me busy.”

“wasn’t talkin’ about the farm,” says gojo, shooting him a knowing look. kento’s ears burn, and he tries to ignore it — in vain, he’s sure, if his companion’s snicker is anything to go by.

“there’s nothing there.” he wouldn’t allow there to be, after all. a life of solitude is exactly the punishment he deserved for what he’s done. he wouldn’t rope you into his madness.

“right, right. you make googly eyes at every woman y’come across?”

“just drink your damn drink.”

by the time the sun is setting, gojo sets off on his horse. he ignores all offers to stay the night, to wait until morning; he's got business to attend to, apparently, business that couldn't wait — but could, apparently, wait for an hours-long drinking session. he doesn’t hug kento, doesn’t make any claim to sentimentality — that hasn't changed, kento supposes — he only leans down to shake his hand, firm and sure like yaga had taught them as boys, and says:

“don’t be a fool, kento. you got a chance at a normal life right here." then, grinning, like the idea of being serious had turned his stomach, gojo calls: "you don’t take that chance, i'll steal it from right under you!"

kento only shakes his head, and turns to enter the saloon again.

when he looks over his shoulder — just once, all he can bear — gojo’s already gone, no more than a speck riding into the sunset.

[rhamrhanch]

Shepherd of Death, Don't Herd Me

Part Three: Water in the Desert

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Ramattra/Reader (gender-neutral pronouns)

Word Count: 3K

Warnings: canon-typical violence, hurt/comfort

Next Chapter

chapter under the cut ↓

---

The shadow of Ramattra’s cowl provides little respite from the Oasis sun. His body is metal; it did not crisp and peel like wax under the sun's rays as the delicate skin of humans did. Still, he does not enjoy the heat. The radiating warmth forces his body to work twice as hard to maintain its temperature, and he is slightly more sluggish for it. Ducking into a shaded alleyway, he pulls up a map of the area on his HUD. He was on his way to a rendezvous with Talon concerning the retrieval of his drowned ship. Enough time had passed since his attack on Gothenburg—he was eager to return to his work.

A loud blast suddenly shakes the ground, dust falling from the brick walls of the alley. The map disappears from his vision as he looks up. A plume of smoke billows high against the blue tarp of the sky. Whatever caused the sound was a short distance away.

Curiosity drives him forward more than anything. As he walks closer to the scene of the explosion, a crowd of people begins flooding into the alleyway. He feels something bump against him. It's a human, young-looking. The momentum from the collision sends the boy flying, landing on his back on the ground.

"Hey! Watch where you're…" he trails off, his eyes slowly traveling up until they meet the glowing red dots of the Ravager's face plate. Ramattra doesn't acknowledge his fear, head lifted in the direction of the smoke.

"Where did that come from?"

The young man's voice shakes. "T-The un-university."

Ramattra nods once, and the boy scrambles to his feet, his hurried footsteps echoing behind him. He begins to walk against the sea of fleeing humans, who part around him like water. It used to bother him, the way humans scurried away from him wherever he went, but he's since grown to appreciate the convenience of it.

Soon, he finds himself standing before the arching entrance of the university, its grandeur dampened by the debris littering the ground. Inside, it's as though time has frozen. Desks are left in a hurry, some with coffee cups still steaming. Whatever happened here was quite recent, possibly still ongoing.

A distant popping catches his attention. No matter how deep he smothered it, his programming would always recognize that sound—the sound of a firefight. He walks briskly toward it, down a long corridor that leads him to the central atrium of the university. There's a massive hole blown in the wall, through which he can see Talon troopers roaming, their guns raised. He slips into the room next to the square, careful not to make any noise. Technically, Talon was his ally, but he felt no strong urge to help them right now. Their foot soldiers were woefully inept, and he was not in the mood for babysitting.

There's the sound of steps behind him—someone is coming. He aims his staff at the doorway, cowl flaring out behind him, only to freeze just as quickly.

You've abandoned your mechanic's coveralls for an Overwatch uniform and your back is turned, but he recognizes your profile instantly.

Holding his hand out, he prepares to raise his shield, waits for you to turn around—but you don't. You continue walking backward up the stairs until you're past the doorway, which you swiftly duck behind. Your gun is raised in the direction you've just come from, blissfully unaware of the omnic standing a meter behind you. Should he… say something? Alert you to the fact that you were not as alone as you thought?

He's still perplexed by how to proceed when you begin speaking into your earpiece.

"No Talon presence detected at point B, standing by for backup."

Ramattra can't hear the reply, but there is a bit of a back and forth. It makes you curse.

"Shit. Okay, I'll go by myself."

He watches you haphazardly look around, yet somehow still not behind you. How were you this clueless? No wonder you were an engineer and not a fighter.

Suddenly, a smattering of red-orange spots lights up his vision—his infrared sensors. Talon soldiers are approaching the atrium. You can't see them from your position, your view of the entrance blocked by the staircase. You straighten up, about to walk out the doorway.

He moves without thinking, hooking his staff around your waist and yanking you toward him, out of sight. Your mouth opens, as if to yell, but his hand clamps down over it, muffling what he assumes is a slew of curses. Your elbow rears back, preparing to hit him. Quickly, he slides his staff into the crook of his arm as his newly freed hand restrains you against him, pinning your arms to your sides. It's mostly for your own sake—elbowing his chest would hurt you a lot more than it would him and was ultimately useless. Still, you refuse to give up. You buck fiercely against his hold, boots scuffing loudly on the ground as you try to free yourself. At this point, Talon would catch the both of you if you continued in this manner.

"Quiet, or they'll hear you!" he hisses. Your head instantly jerks up at him, eyes wide with recognition.

---

This was truly not your day.

As soon as Overwatch received a tip that Talon planned to infiltrate the university in Oasis, you all but begged Winston to go. You were desperate to make up for your blunder a month ago, when you had groggily woken up to your coworkers standing over you, the leader of Null Sector nowhere to be seen. But before you could explain yourself, give some meager excuse as to how Overwatch's most important prisoner had escaped, you were whisked away to the med bay by Mercy for treatment. As you recovered from your near asphyxiation, you feared what would happen next. Would Winston fire you? Would you be accused of conspiring with Ramattra and left to fend for yourself once again?

You couldn't do it. You would rather die than be found by Talon, a fate that was guaranteed without Overwatch's protection. For a whole day, you laid in bed, dreading the moment Winston would walk in and order you to pack your bags. And eventually, he did come to you. But instead of the harsh reprimand you expected, he only apologized profusely—for putting you in danger, for not doing more to guarantee your safety. The guilt in his voice had somehow felt worse than if he had just given you a verbal tongue-lashing.

Because you knew the truth. Everyone reassured you that it wasn't your fault—but it was. You could have stopped him. You had a gun, had even shot someone before. If you wanted to, you could have incapacitated him long enough to call for help. He was the leader of Null Sector—there should have been no doubt in your mind to pull the trigger. But even as Ramattra held your throat in his hand, crushing your trachea, you hesitated.

Your hands were tied after that, having already made the promise to repair him. By that point, you were too invested in the process of it, the eagerness to work on an R-7000, that you forgot the mortal peril you were in. Getting sucked in to your work was always a bad habit of yours. Only his reminder of the bounty on your head snapped you out of it, and by that point, it was too late. Even in his weakened state, he was fast, much faster than you. Your only way to defend yourself gone, you were left to his mercy.

You were determined not to make the same mistake again. And so your need to prove your usefulness had led you here, separated from your team and hiding from the Talon soldiers that swarmed the building. This was meant to be a relatively casual mission, which is why you volunteered for it. All you had to do was secretly guard the university and ensure no Talon forces infiltrated the library. Easy enough; you weren't an exceptionally skilled fighter like Genji or Tracer, but you were scrappy enough that you could hold your own against one or two opponents. Everything had gone smoothly until Talon caught wind of Overwatch's plan, all manner of subtlety then thrown out the window after they blew a damn hole in the building. In the ensuing fight, you were split from the rest of your team, but you still had a job to do. Under no circumstances could Talon be allowed to breach the library.

You hug the wall, gun raised. Slowly approaching the wide arch of the entrance to the garden, you see two Talon soldiers standing on the opposite side. Quickly, you duck behind a hedge, weapon held close to your chest. Not hearing anything, you cautiously peek over it again. They're standing in front of a door that stretches to the ceiling—the entrance to the atrium, which housed the only door to the library. You needed to get past them somehow.

You reach down and silently pick up one of the stones lining the hedge. With as much strength as you can, you whip your arm toward the opposite side of the garden. The stone lands in the bushes, rustling the leaves there. One of the guards perks up at the noise, leaving their post to investigate. Perfect. You weren't particularly worried about dealing with them if it came down to it—Talon soldiers weren't notorious for their fighting skills—but a one-on-one would be quieter.

Slowly, you slink towards the left side of the garden until you reach the balcony. There was a staircase there that led to the atrium entrance. Once up the stairs, you crouch down and peer past the wall. The soldier still standing at the door seems not to notice anything. It wouldn't be possible to get through to the atrium without him seeing you, and you couldn't fire your gun without risking the attention of the other.

Well, you suppose that leaves you with only one option.

Your boots pound against the tile as you sprint toward him. The sound seems to startle him, and he hastily raises his gun in panic—exactly what you wanted. Before he can pull the trigger, your hand swings out, pistol-whipping his chin. His head recoils to the side harshly and he collapses to the ground, out cold.

Quickly, you sneak into the atrium. There was no way the other grunt didn't hear that—you needed to find cover, fast. You flatten your back against the wall, pointing your gun at the doorway. Luckily, there's no one. You back away tentatively, walking further into the atrium. The back of your heel bumps against something and you nearly topple over, rebalancing with less grace than you wanted. You peek backwards out of the corner of your eye; there's a short staircase leading into another room. You put one foot behind the other, treading carefully up the stairs until you're past the doorway. Making as little noise as you can, you dive behind the wall, pistol clicking as you point it at the empty air. After a moment, you let out a heavy exhale. You were safe, for now.

"No Talon presence detected at point B, standing by for backup," you say quietly into your comm. There's a long pause before it pings in your ear again, gunshots ringing out from the other end.

"More Talon agents have arrived at our location." Genji's voice is hurried, and you hear the clash of steel. "Winston is handling them right now." Almost on cue, a loud roar and crash sound behind him.

"Can you make it to my position?"

"No, there are too many here." He swears sharply, the gunfire now louder than before. "You said there is no Talon presence where you are?"

"Yes, that's right."

Genji makes a sort of annoyed sound; its robotic timbre reverberates in your ear. "Ah, it's no good then. You're the closest out of all of us."

"Shit." Your head spins rapidly as you try to think. As long as Talon's reinforcements were confined to the entrance, you should be relatively safe to move. Yes, you could do this. "Okay, I'll go by myself."

The comm clicks off, and you steel yourself briefly before moving to stand up. But just as your knees straighten, something pulls on your waist with what feels like the force of a freight train. Your back slams against a rigid surface, knocking the wind out of you. Damn it, not again. How did this keep happening to you?

A metal hand clamps down on your mouth. Instinctively, you thrash against it, but your captor restrains you, rendering you immobile with the sturdy weight of their arm. No, no, no…! Rising panic makes you jerk wildly, doing anything you can in a desperate attempt to free yourself. You're kicking out in a frenzy when a harsh voice cuts through the air.

"Quiet, or they'll hear you!"

What? Your head snaps up, eyes forced to squint at the familiar red glow of Ramattra's face plate. Before you can even begin to process what just happened, the sound of boots against tile reaches your ear. You freeze, instinctively crushing yourself against his chest. The metal ribs of his armor dig into your back, but you hardly notice as your heartbeat pounds in your ears.

The steps echo louder, approaching closer and closer to the staircase. You're breathing rapidly—it feels like air is running away from you, but you can't stop. His arm is an iron bar against your abdomen, and you try to focus your thoughts on the pressure. A soft current of air brushes against the back of your neck—the quiet whir of his internal fans, a calming song that thrums throughout your body. After what feels like an eternity, the footsteps finally retreat.

Ramattra's arm relaxes, his hand sliding across your stomach. The touch makes you shudder involuntarily, a low warmth settling in your stomach. No, no, now was not the time for this.

Swinging your legs forward, you kick behind you with all your might. Your feet land square on target, the omnic grunting as his knee buckles, releasing you to slam his staff against the ground. You whip around to face him, cocking your gun with one hand. As he rises, so does the barrel, trained on his chest right where you know his central processor sits.

His face plate is expressionless as always, but he seems less angry and more annoyed, as if the gun pointed at his chest was no more than a mere inconvenience.

"What are you doing?" he growls.

Is he serious? He can't be serious. You scoff, flabbergasted by his question. "What am I doing? What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I—" He stops himself, fist clenching around his staff. It seems he has no answer.

You stare at each other in a standoff, neither daring to break eye contact. A thousand questions run through your mind. Why was he here? Is Null Sector preparing an attack on Oasis? Was he working with Talon? There are so many words clamoring against your skull that it paralyzes you into not speaking at all. After a full minute of silence, one question finally manages to slip past your lips.

"Why did you help me?"

That was what puzzled you most of all. Back in your workshop, he had spared your life despite your attempt to pull a gun on him. Now, he seemingly appears out of thin air to save you from Talon soldiers? What was his game here?

"Believe me, it was not my intention," he replies snarkily.

That… didn't make any sense. "Answer the question," you demand, more forcefully this time.

"It matters little what I say. My answer will not satisfy you." Great, another deflection. You were growing tired of this dance.

Ramattra's gaze follows you as you walk forward, all the image of a hitman that's met their mark. He doesn't move, doesn't even flinch when the barrel of your gun taps against the center of his chest.

"Is that all you have to say?" you ask.

There's only the hum of his internal machinery, a sound you've grown to recognize. Even with your gun pointed directly at him, he stays silent. You let your hand fall with a sigh; you weren't going to get the answers you wanted this way. But he remains still, making no move to leave as his face plate stares down at you.

"Fine, then. I only have one thing to say to you." You slip your other hand out of your pocket, placing it on his chest. It's warm against your palm, warmer than you expect from a body made of metal. His chest rises slightly in reflex, as though taking in a breath. Everything about him was so alive—the sounds his machinery made as they moved inside him, the oscillating temperature of his chassis as it burned against your skin. It only made the guilt coiled in your stomach sink deeper.

"Thank you," you murmur, "and I'm sorry for this."

The Ravager tilts his head at you in silent question. But you only pull away, a circular emitter left where your hand once was. He reacts lightning fast, his hand surging up to grasp it—but it never gets there, halted in place as it starts to twitch uncontrollably. He tries to speak, but all that comes out is a scratchy, glitchy mess as he falls to his knees, his hands spasming against the ground, grasping nothing.

The sight is almost enough to make you forget what you were doing this for. Before you lose your nerve, you quickly steel your resolve and click the comm in your ear. Your hesitance may have gotten the better of you last time, but it was not going to happen again. He knew your name, face, and affiliation—letting him go was no longer an option.

"Hey, it's me. Talon has breached point B and is headed towards point C, requesting immediate assistance at my location."

[roseandgold137]

red sky in the morning, shepherds’ warning

[toasecretsanta]

(2 of 2 fics)

MERRY CHRISTMAS PART 2! :D

Another fic [by @firealder2005] based off of the prompt list by @literallyjusttoa :3 This one is Apollo/Admetus, be it in older times or the modern day!

I will have this posted on Ao3 once the submission is up! :D

Warnings: I have this rated Teen & Up. Only warning is Apollo being rather depressed.

Also fluff alert! :3 This is Admetus/Apollo we’re talking about haha

ENJOY!

Nothing Else To Give But Love…

A soft nose grazed his hand. He shifted and absently began stroking the poofy wool on top of the sheep’s head.

Apollo hummed as the sheep’s baa echoed through the sleepy, spring-green field. Despite the mild warmth, he shivered, one hand nearly strangling the cords wrapped around his hand, the rest of the twine cinched about his waist.

The field was quiet. Simple. Nothing like Olympus had been during, or even before…before…

Before it had happened…

His son’s young face, blue eyes wide and startled as a clap of thunder rolled through the sky and electricity shattered the world around them leaving —

Apollo took in a shuddering breath and squeezed his eyes shut, fighting back the tears welling in them.

Oh, Asclepius… He inwardly whispered. I’m so, so sorry, my sweet, sweet son.

He hadn’t deserved such a wonderful child — frankly, all of his children were marvelous and he couldn’t fathom what he’d done to deserve such bright kids. Apollo didn’t deserve them. He didn’t deserve Asclepius — hadn’t deserved him…

Apollo’s grasp on the cord loosened, letting the rough cords fall from his fingers. He raked a hand through his hair, the locks empty without the laurel wreath usually nestled in them. He hadn’t been casted down to Earth with it the first time, and it was no different now.

He shamefully missed the weight of the crown in his hair. The guilt he made himself carry day in and out. Never letting himself forget her.

Her. Another person he hadn’t deserved…

Did he deserve anything? He, the most glorious of gods…but now nothing more than a mere servant. A shepherd. 

(Not that there was anything wrong with shepherds, mind you. He was the god of them, and had dated a few. Branchus had been a beloved lover, and the person who made Miletus one of Apollo’s favorite cities.)

And what made it worse…he was here because of his own actions. His father’s enraged expression was still fresh in his mind, though the memories were tinted red by his own fiery, destructive fury.

Actions have consequences, my son, Zeus’s voice winded its way through his head. Even you are not above the law.

So here Apollo was. Laying in a field, dressed like a servant. Deprived of even more divinity than he’d had the first time he’d been casted down to Earth to work for Laomedon (the name made him shudder). He thought he felt mortal during his time in Ilion — or Troy, as it was now called. For the first time, his hands had ached. He experienced fatigue and thirst.

Last time was nothing compared to now. By the end of the day, he was exhausted. It was harder to access his divine power to keep himself awake at night, even if dear Admetus attempted to get him to go to sleep, insisting it was natural to need rest after a long day.

But he couldn’t — Apollo didn’t need to rest. He was a god, he could go centuries without rest.

It was only temporary, after all.

(He ignored the yawn that tugged at his lips. The heaviness of his eyes.)

(Temporary. All temporary.)

Footsteps made his head turn. Apollo subconsciously brought a hand up to his hair and played with a strand as he caught sight of Admetus coming closer. Handsome face, dark, soulful eyes and equally dark hair. Stubble grew on his perfect jaw.

Apollo felt his heart flutter when the king softly smiled at him.

He straightened when Admetus slid down beside him, patting the sheep lazing on his other side on the head as he looped an arm around Apollo. The god leaned against him and rested his head on his shoulder, humming happily when Admetus placed a kiss on his hair.

“Slow day?” the king murmured against his hair.

Apollo shrugged, fighting back a yawn. “Pretty much. I think the wolves and bears have decided to go elsewhere.”

“They bow before their lord,” Admetus grinned. Apollo giggled into his shoulder. “As they should.”

The god chuckled again, though a slight sigh shivered through his body. “Not now, though,” he murmured. “I’m not their lord now.”

Admetus stroked his hair. Apollo could almost imagine the concerned tilt of his head, the slightly raised right eyebrow as he looked at him.

The king hummed, resting his head on Apollo’s. “They seem to think so,” he softly observed. “They still listen and obey you.”

Apollo shuffled his legs and buried his face further into Admetus’s robes. A hand ran through his hair again, gently working at small knots, before it was removed and Admetus shuffled around himself.

Peering up, Apollo blinked as the king slid off his light cloak, shook it out, then swung it around Apollo’s shoulders and gently fastened the clasp. Apollo raised his hands to Admetus’s, protesting; “You don’t have too—”

“I insist.”

“Really, I’m fine.”

Admetus kissed his forehead and pulled Apollo into a warm, firm hug. The god gratefully sank into it, eyelids fluttering as sleep tugged on his consciousness. He squeezed his eyes shut and mentally shook himself awake. No sleeping, he ordered himself. Especially not when a handsome king is hugging you!

“You have a lot on your mind,” Admetus murmured. “Don’t you?”

Apollo sighed. “Yes,” he admitted. “I do.”

Admetus stroked the back of his neck, which felt really nice. “Anything I can do to help lighten your load?”

The god softly laughed and rubbed at his heavy eyes. “I don’t know,” he said, pulling away slightly and looping his arms around the king’s neck. Their noses brushed against each other. “Not now, anyway.”

The king cupped his cheek and rested his forehead against Apollo’s. Apollo hummed with contentment at the gesture.

“I have something for you,” Admetus bashfully whispered. Apollo stroked the stubble on the king’s chin and blinked slowly at him, a small smile pulling on his lips at Admetus’s flustered expression.

Admetus reached into his exposed robes and withdrew a circlet.

The first thing that caught Apollo’s attention was the color. A thick, lush green. Shining in the soft, sleepy sunlight.

Bay laurels.

A laurel wreath.

Hesitantly, Apollo allowed his fingers to brush over the delicate leaves before withdrawing. “I…I can’t. I’m not —”

“A prince?” Admetus quietly supplied. He used his free hand to gently pull Apollo to his feet, adjusting the cloak around him, before placing the wreath in his long, unfurled hair, fingers tracing the skin of his cheek.

“Admetus —”

“Keep them on, my prince,” Admetus whispered, placing a light, loving kiss to Apollo’s forehead. “You’re just as royal as I am.”

Apollo gazed up at him, blinking rapidly as his blue eyes got suspiciously wet. He didn’t deserve this gift, especially from Admetus. He wasn’t worthy of it, of a crown made from the leaves of a woman as great as she had been.

But…Admetus seemed to think he did. A corner of his lips curved into a shy smile. Oh, Admetus… he wistfully thought. You somehow see something good in me.

Before he could stop himself, Apollo surged up and kissed Admetus on the lips. His hands trailed up into the king’s dark hair as Admetus drew him close. Apollo felt his heavy eyes flutter shut, relying on his other senses to navigate the wonderful kiss —

Before he blinked back into awareness, staring bewilderedly into Admetus’s perplexed eyes.

“Um. Hi,” he squeaked. Admetus had caught him in a dip, holding him over the ground below them. Apollo had to admit, it felt quite nice. Though how did he end up in this lovely position?

“Hi,” Admetus chuckled. “You…passed out there, for a moment.”

Apollo felt his face burn. Oh dear, sweet Ouranos…how embarrassing. Did he really just pass out while kissing? His breath stuttered as he avoided meeting the king’s mirthful eyes.

“Did I steal too much air?” Admetus grinned. “Or did you just fall for me?”

Apollo slapped his chest and burst into laughter. “That was so bad,” he snorted, smiling brightly from ear to ear.

“I know,” Admetus’s grin was still beaming. “But it’s worth it to see you smile.”

Apollo bashfully ducked his head, laughing once more when Admetus scooped him into his arms and grin brightly.

“Now, however,” Admetus began. “You should rest. You’ve barely been sleeping.”

Apollo looped his hands around his neck and laid his head on Admetus’s shoulder. “I’m fine,” he murmured, eyes fluttering. He snapped himself awake. “I’m a god, Admetus. I don’t need sleep.”

Admetus hummed in disagreement, beginning to walk back to Pherae’s palace with Apollo still nestled comfortably in his arms. “But you’re deprived of much more divinity this time,” he wisely pointed out. “And that means, you do need sleep.” The king paused and rested his forehead against Apollo’s, adding quietly; “I would never make you do something you don’t want to, but please,” he implored. “Go to sleep. You need it.”

The god huffed before sheepishly smiling. “What about the flocks?”

“I have a feeling they’ll be fine,” Admetus assured him with a grin. “The message that the god of flocks is protecting this place should have gotten around by now.”

They both shared a light chuckle before Admetus softly kissed Apollo. He leaned into the feeling, feeling a soft thrill of contentment ripple through his being, before murmuring; “Alright. But only if you join me.”

Admetus softly laughed. “If that is what you wish, my prince.”

----------

Admetus glanced at where Apollo laid sprawled beside him beneath the covers. The blanket had slipped off him, and Admetus carefully pulled it back up, brushing Apollo’s golden hair out of his face as he did.

Finally, he was getting some rest.

Apollo was a stubborn god, and seemed convinced he didn’t need the necessities mortals did — food, water, sleep — and Admetus had used every trick in the book to get him to pay attention to the very human needs he now had.

Well. Almost every trick.

He absolutely refused to use the control Zeus gave him over Apollo. Absolutely not. It horrified him that the wise and just king of the gods he’d spent his life honoring would just give a complete stranger the ability to manipulate his own son any way they liked.

Admetus had always carefully crafted his words to leave Apollo the opportunity to refuse an order if he so chose — a loophole, if you will. Ironically, he never did except for when Admetus wanted him to listen, like actually sleeping instead of making cheese in the dead of the night.

Sighing fondly, he gently ran his fingers through Apollo’s hair, mindful of the laurels now nestled in them. It felt like the soft silk that came from the East.

It scared him, sometimes. This temporary bond between them. Admetus found himself second-guessing his words before speaking, fretting over the possibility of accidentally using it against Apollo…

He had no desire to force this beautiful being into anything — especially since they became lovers.

Admetus wasn’t a fool. He was very well-aware of the power dynamic between them, and did his damndest to even the field as much as possible. He had never used the control he had against Apollo, and he never would.

And for that matter, why should he? Yes, Apollo was technically in his service and therefore legally and divinely bound to obey him, but he was his own person too. He had his own personality and quirks.

Like making cheese in the dead of the night, Admetus bit back a chuff at the memory, a smile stretching across his face as he tucked his chin over Apollo’s hair. He remembered that moment well. Apollo with jugs of fresh sheep milk, carefully taking the curdled bits and brining them, letting the cheese soak in the liquid.

His face had been pinched, a slight frown on his lips, but his movements had been precise and smooth, as if he’d been making cheese his whole life.

And well. Considering Apollo was the father of Aristaeus, Admetus could believe that.

Apollo had sheepishly admitted to not being able to sleep that night, smile strained as thunder rolled outside, lightning and a simple beeswax candle their only source of light in the darkness. Instead of urging his beloved back to bed, Admetus had dropped down beside him and gently unpinned his hair, letting the frayed, golden locks free and began to braid them.

They had sat there the rest of the night, in quiet, comfortable silence, though it was occasionally interrupted by a thunderclap or flash of lightning. Apollo flinched a few times at these, prompting Admetus to twine their hands together once he finished the Athenian hairstyle.

In response, the divine herdsman glanced at him, a soft smile lighting up his beautiful features, before it curved into a mischievous look.

“What are you—?”

Apollo looped his arms around his neck and slid onto his lap, eyes sparkling with mirth. “Care for a bite?” He impishly asked, freeing one hand to scoop up a platter of freshly-made cheese.

Admetus raised a brow, lips twitching, as he asked; “Did you slip something in it?”

Apollo scoffed. “Of course not,” he placed his unoccupied hand to his chest, as if offended. “Only the finest of cheese for my favorite king.”

“And only the finest of the gods could ever make it,” Admetus teased, accepting the offered cheese platter, only to pause when Apollo clucked his tongue and nimbly plucked a piece up himself.

“Allow me,” his smile softened from teasing to genuine. “Least I can do for your kindness.”

Admetus chuckled awkwardly. “It’s nothing,” he shook his head. “I do think this world could use a little more kindness.”

Apollo hummed. “I suppose you’re right,” he softly said, offering his hand with the cheese out. “Taste?”

Admetus didn’t break eye contact as he ate the cheese from Apollo’s fingers, cupping the god’s hand as he did. The tangy, rich flavor bathed his tongue and he licked his lips.

“Delicious,” the king proclaimed, snagging another off the platter. “You truly make the best cheese I’ve ever tasted.”

Apollo laughed as he ate a bite of cheese himself. “Ah, then you truly have yet to live,” his eyes danced in the darkness. “Remind me to get you some of Aristaeus’s — he is the true master of cheese-making.”

Admetus smiled and kissed Apollo’s cheek, comfortably wrapping his arms around his waist. “I shall await this marvelous cheese,” he whispered against his beloved’s ear. “But for now, I’m very much content with yours.”

Apollo’s bashful duck of the head sent flutters of warmth through him.

Sighing fondly at the memory, Admetus nosed into Apollo’s warm body beside him, breathing in the scent of laurels, glancing momentarily at the wreath still laying in Apollo’s hair. It sat crookedly, the leaves unused to being crushed under the head of a human.

Delicately, Admetus adjusted the wreath until it sat mostly straight, though there wasn’t much he could do about the crumpled leaves. Some golden strands had fallen back into Apollo’s closed eyes.

Even without a crown, he silently thought to himself as he brushed those strands away. He’ll always be royal to me.

 —

My ramblings on ancient greek CHEESE can be found on Ao3 :3

[cowboydisaster]

Lobo

reupload; originally posted on 14 february, 2023

read part two here

pairing: werewolf!Arthur Morgan x reader

word count: 5.2k

summary: You're on the run, hiding from the law. One night, your dog runs into the woods and comes upon a poor creature stuck in a bear trap. This isn't just some normal wolf... His eyes are the color of the ocean and he seems to understand you. The wolf continues to visit you, shifting back and forward between man and beast. He offers you his name, and eventually his heart.

a/n: this was originally a submission for the rdr events valentines exchange! This was my first ever werewolf fic and I was hella intimidated by it, but it was SO fun. I'm definitely down to do a part two if that's something people want. Let me know! Important things to know about this fic because everyone writes werewolves differently: - A werewolf's eyes glow red when they have found their mate, and after they've found their mate, their eyes glow red during very emotional/vulnerable moments. - A mating bite is just a way for the bond to seal between the two. It can be given by one or both parties -Arthur is a fully normal human being, aside from the fact that he can shift to a wolf. -Werewolves can shift between human and wolf at any time in this fic, not just on a full moon - The full moon makes a werewolf more primal. i.e. wanting to run, wanting to stay shifted as a wolf. It also makes the wolves more drawn to their mates and more protective

also as a little warning I am not well versed in werewolf lore, so if anything in this fic is way far off I apologize.

fic is below the cutoff

Your stallion's hooves slosh in the mud as you canter, riding towards a little area near Valentine that you’re planning to camp at for the night. The moon is full tonight, resting high in the sky and casting the night in an eerie, pale glow with dark shifting shadows. For the last few weeks you've been on the run, sleeping under the stars or in abandoned houses and buildings as you drift further and further away from Saint Denis. It wasn't your fault really. The man you killed? Well he deserved it. But every action has consequences… You’ve been drifting since it happened, never staying in one place too long. Parts of you miss your old life, the structure of society and sleeping in a bed. But the freedom that your current life offers is unmatched.

You've made it all the way up to the cliffs now. It would probably be safe to stick around, surely you're far enough away by now. But an itch under your skin urges you to keep running, to get far away so that they will never find you. Pushing the doubts out of your mind, you whistle, and hear a bark in answer from your Australian Shepherd, Marley. He's running beside your black thoroughbred, Ares, just as eager as you to set up camp for the night. 

After some convincing that the law won't find you this far north, you slow Ares down to a trot, passing by a lightly wooded area along the train tracks. Beyond the trees is a small opening. It's big enough for you to comfortably set up a little camp, but wooded enough to protect you from the near constant drabble of rainfall, and more importantly any wandering eyes from the tracks. You deem the spot safe for the night, whistling for Marley to follow as you trot through the treeline.

It's been a tough few weeks. Your clothes have been growing a little looser around your frame, and your little stash of money from your father’s savings has depleted to nothing. You don't know how to hunt, you're from the city. With no means to get food, your options have depleted to two: steal or starve. There's already a bounty on your head and you don't plan on increasing it, but you know what they say about desperation. Twice now you've stolen saddlebags off of tethered horses in search of food or money. You've rationed your supplies enough to get you this far, but now? Well you're pretty well screwed. 

Hopping down from Ares with a pat of gratitude, you reach into one of the stolen saddlebags in search of something useful. Something soft touches your hand, and you pull out some clothes. There's two shirts and two pairs of jeans. With a sigh, you shove the clothes back into the bag. They're of no use. They're way too big for you, but maybe you can repurpose the cloth later. You step around Ares’ backside to reach into the other side of the bag. Luckily, you find two pieces of salted beef. 

“Well, we got dinner, boy.” You smile, tossing one up into the air and watching as Marley catches it in his mouth. 

You don't have a tent, never got one after escaping Saint Denis, and you don't have a bedroll either. So as per usual, you opt to find shelter under a large oak tree, laying on your saddle blanket and resting your head on your saddle in the dirt. It makes a decent pillow, and it provides Ares with some relief for the night. After finishing your dinner, you eye your boys. Ares is lying in the grassy patch ahead of you, enjoying the subtle rainfall after a long day’s run, and Marley curls up in the grass at your side. 

“Don't worry boys, we’ll find somewhere more permanent soon, alright?” You whisper to them, almost drifting to sleep. You try to stay awake to watch the night. The moon is so full, so bright, unlike any night you’ve seen before. It's equally beautiful and mysterious. The grass dances in the breeze, shining under the moon’s white light while being tapped by slow sprinkling rain. Your eyes slip shut… and Marley barks. 

You know Marley. He’s your best friend, and Marley only barks at danger. Immediately you sit up on the saddle blanket, gripping the handle of your knife out of instinct. 

“What is it boy?” You whisper, scanning the treeline to no avail. Ares has stood up, and is whinnnying, stomping his feet and tossing his head in trepidation. 

Every hair on the dog’s back is standing straight up, and he bares his teeth towards the eastern side of the forest with a low growl. Your brows knit together, as you see no lights or signs of anything. 

“Marley, what's the matter?” You coo, reaching out to calm the dog, but he's too quick. He barks, and takes off into the east side of the forest. 

“Shit, Marley!” You yell after the dog. 

With a sigh, you run over to Ares, not even bothering to put the saddle back on. You sit on him bareback, quickly urging the stallion into the forest after your dog. It's difficult to navigate the dark forest, but Ares needs no guidance as he weaves around trees and jumps over fallen logs after your dog. You have to hang on for dear life as he jumps a particularly large log, as it's much harder to sit without the aid of your saddle. Slowing Ares down to a slow trot, you stick two fingers on your lip and whistle as loud as you can. It's too dark to see anything, and the rain has picked up, soaking your hair and causing rivulets of water to drip into your eyes and drench your clothes. 

You hear his returning bark, and you spur Ares in the direction of the familiar sound. After cantering around a few more trees, you spot Marley. He’s cowering on the ground, shaking with his head on the ground in submission. At first you’re afraid he’s been hurt, and you jump down from your stallion to approach the dog. 

“Marley…?” You whisper, slowly approaching him. 

The breath leaves your lungs when you hear it; The loudest howl you have ever heard. It’s mangled and painful, and so, so close. Your heart beats rapidly, time slows, and you can feel the moment its eyes are on you.  Slowly, you turn around. 

In front of you is the largest wolf you have ever seen in your life. Well, you’ve never seen a wolf other than in the paper but this wolf- there's something different. It’s a male, surely the alpha of his pack, if he has one. He has a sandy blonde coat, broad head and shoulders, and even standing on all fours, the wolf is almost as tall as you. But the most stark detail is his eyes. They are bright, a green-blue mixture that can be compared to the blend of the tide and the sky. There’s something so human about his gaze that you’re almost knocked to the ground by its strength. The wolf’s eyes are locked onto your own, and it tries to step towards you, but stops suddenly and cries out in pain. Your eyebrows draw together, and you step around the right side of the massive wolf. His eyes stay on yours, and suddenly you feel no fear. It’s like you’re supposed to be here, you're supposed to find him. It causes your breath to hitch in your throat, and a dull pressure to buzz in your chest, but you ignore it, continuing your observation of the animal. 

“Oh, you poor thing.” You whisper under your breath upon the sight of his mangled, bloody back leg. It's caught in a particularly nasty bear trap, who knows how long he’s been stuck here. You eye the wolf carefully for a moment, and when you sense no aggression, you step forward. The trap is a pressure lock, and you can dismantle it with your bare hands. Determined, you wipe your hands on your jeans. 

“Alright, now I’m gonna set you free, but you can't eat me, okay?” 

You swear the wolf chortles at your comment, and you lean down in the mud, pressing down on the bear trap with all your might. It clicks a few times, meaning that it’s close to opening. You stop pushing the trap and gasp in shock when you feel the wolf press his nose into your waist, inhaling deeply as if he is savoring your scent. You stutter, and quickly continue pressing down on the trap until it fully snaps open. The wolf takes one full deep breath of your scent, and then throws his head up towards the full moon and howls. It's so loud that your ears almost hurt, but it's not nearly as strong as the pressure in your chest, the unfamiliar buzz that is threatening to rip you in two. You clutch at your rib, gasping in shock when the wolf brings his head back down to look into your eyes. The wolf’s blue irises have been replaced with two deep crimson circles that stare back at you. Your heart pounds in your chest, and you can hear it. But just as quickly as you found him, he is gone. He turned tail and ran, limping away on three legs. You’re left in shock, mouth agape, sitting against the wet forest floor.

— two weeks later —

You search through the bottom of the same leather bag that you’ve checked three times, foolishly hoping to find some food for you and Marley. You need to find something soon, or you’re going to have to venture into town, which may or may not end up with your neck in a noose. With a sigh, you toss the bag on the ground by your campfire. Tears threaten to fall as you pet your shepherd dog, apologizing for the lack of dinner. Ares is already laying in the grass, and you decide to hit the hay as well. Like every night, Marley curls up beside you while you try to fall asleep. His steady breathing, and eventually his snores almost lull you to sleep, but you’ve been having trouble sleeping. For the past two weeks all you’ve been able to think about is him. You know what he is now, you remember the stories that your Pa used to tell you. The legends of beasts in the west, far more dangerous than the outlaws inhabiting it. Well, they weren’t just stories. You think of him every night, wondering why he ran, why he’s this far east in the first place. Tonight is no different, in fact the ache in your ribcage is especially strong tonight. You’ve felt it ever since that night. 

Eventually, you’re able to quiet your mind, blinking foggily as sleep overtakes your senses. Just as your eyes begin to flutter shut, two blue circles blink from behind the treeline, and then you fall asleep. 

— the next day —

The evening sun wakes you up, surprisingly warm despite the cold day. The light filters through the trees, casting your face in a yellow glow. You'd slept almost the entire day, but you needed it. You haven't been sleeping well, too busy thinking of the wolf. You yawn, sitting up and stretching your arms before checking for your boys. Marley is chewing on a stick beside the charcoal left over from the campfire, and Ares has his head to the ground, grazing on some fresh grass. As you go to stand up, something fiery red catches your eyes and you snap your neck in its direction. About five feet away from your makeshift bedroll is a fox. It's been killed, perfectly hunted in such a manner that the pelt is in perfect condition. With your brows drawn together, you lean over and pick up the fox. Two neat, large canine teeth marks have punctured the animal's neck. 

This was him. 

You're overcome with relief at the fact that he's okay. After he'd run off you weren't sure where he went, or if he had a pack, and someone to fix his wound. You've been thinking about the man for weeks, wondering what he looks like, sounds and acts like, what his name is. Quickly you pull out your hunting knife, taking your time to skin the animal neatly. Every cut is articulate, something you learned from working for the trapper in Saint Denis. You know how to clean, cut and cook an animal, just not how to actually hunt one. You rest the red pelt fur down against the dirt to dry, and then get to work on your fire. Marley brings you back enough twigs and sticks to get a fire going, and before long you're placing nice cuts of meat over the fire, cooking a decent meal for the first time in a while. Marley seems grateful as well, coming over to the campfire to check on the food with his mouth watering. 

It's a good breakfast, well dinner. You don't have much to season the meat with, but a few pieces of oregano manage just fine. You and Marley share the fox, saving the rest of it for the following days. With the day pretty much over before you've even started it, you pull out your journal. 

Ever since that night in the woods, I feel this ache. It's like a rope. I don't understand it much, but… it's pulling me to him. I know it is. He left me a fox- first good meal we've had in a day. That's gotta mean something, right? 

Your fountain pen stops on the paper, and some ink pools out of it, leaving an ink blot. Your eyes widen at the sound of a twig snapping, and the feeling in your ribs intensifies. You carefully close the leather journal, setting it down on the ground before pulling your knees up to your chin and smiling. 

"Come out. I know you're here." You call out boldly, standing up from the ground and facing the forest in the direction of the snap. You can feel eyes on you, but you can't pinpoint his exact location. Behind you, Ares begins to spook, pawing at the ground and snorting in irritation. Marley growls, and you follow his gaze until you see the wolf. 

He's even more beautiful in the daylight. Now you can really see the contrasts in his coat color, like brindle between tan and brown. His eyes are just as striking without the added glow from the moon, and now they shine bright blue. He steps out from the forest slowly, head down to placate you. He steps right up to you, almost eye to eye. The buzzing in your chest is so strong, like the rope is pulled so tight that it's on the verge of snapping. 

"You ain't no regular wolf… I've heard the legends, but I didn't think there would be any of you this far east…" 

The wolf's eyes close and he nudges his head into your side, one again inhaling your scent. You're not sure why he does it, but you don't mind. Hesitantly, you bring your hand up to the wide spot between his ears. You expected his fur to be coarse, but you're wrong. It's soft, like thick layers of silk. Your hand glides over his head, petting his ears while he leans further into you. 

"Thank you for the fox." You whisper, smiling sheepishly at the familiar stranger. 

Slowly, he turns around, going towards where your saddle blanket is laid out on the ground. He gently takes the serape blanket in his maw, backing up and dragging it with him until he's a bit away from you, hidden in the shadows of some trees. You watch on, confused, turning around a few times to coo to your animals. You can hear some growling, some uncomfortable joint cracking, and then to your surprise, the exasperated groan of a man. Your eyebrows dart up in surprise, and your jaw drops when he steps out of the shadows. 

He's the most attractive man you've ever seen. His wolf form is a perfect match to his human form, he has tanned, sun-kissed skin, peppered with freckles. He's covering the lower half of his naked body with the blanket, but it doesn't hide his strong, chiseled chest. Clearly he takes care of himself. His build is muscular and broad. His hair is the same sandy blonde as his wolf's coat, and those eyes, they're just as beautiful now as they are as a wolf's. You don't realize that you're staring until he talks.

"You ain't afraid of me?" He questions, almost unbelieving that you haven't run away yet. His brows knit together just enough for a petite line to make itself evident on his forehead. 

"No… you've been nothing but kind and you've helped me. Hell, you coulda ate me." You chuckle. 

At the mention of that night, you remember the trap and his injury.

"How's your leg?" You ask. Your eyes move down his right calf and you see a freshly pink, rough scar marking the wound where only two weeks ago he was torn into. No human could ever heal that fast, it must be a werewolf thing. 

"S'healed. Got fixed up in no time." He says, drawl low and deep. He moves over towards the fire and sits on the ground, you follow. 

"What are you doin' out here anyway? Ain't safe, 'specially not by yourself." He inquires, making sure he's covered with the blanket as he looks to you for an answer. 

You're not sure how you know, but you know that you can tell this man the truth. And yet you find yourself hesitating, so instead you rebuttal his question. 

"I could ask you the same, mister." You quirk, smiling a bit as Marley trots over to sit by you.

"Well what's your name, then? Finally get to speak to ya, I should know your name." You ask. 

You're shocked that somehow your manners slipped and you forgot to introduce yourself, but the introduction feels… odd. It's like you've known him for years. You tell him your name, to which he smiles, nodding his head like he approves, or is proud of it. 

"My name's Arthur Morgan." He chortles. As if the situation isn't indecent enough, you just remember that you have an extra pair of larger clothes from the stolen bag that might fit Arthur perfectly. 

"Oh, I have some clothes that might fit you. Don't even bother askin' how I came about these but- should be clean and hopefully your size." You say, standing up and grabbing the stolen saddlebag of clothes. Your boots squish in the wet grass as you bring the bag over to Arthur. 

He takes the bag, and with no shame, drops the blanket to the ground. 

Oh. 

So apparently the part of his body that was earlier covered by the blanket was the best part. You can't help it, and he doesn't mind. You watch as he grabs clothes from the bag. There's a trail of soft brown hair that trickles from his chest hair and dips down to the base of his shaft. You gulp, closing your eyes and forcing yourself to look away from the absolute masterpiece that rests between his legs. 

When Arthur is decent, you turn around, cheeks still flushed bright pink from shock and embarrassment. He hands the saddle bag out to you, which you take and toss back towards your saddle on the ground. Both of you glance to the west, realizing that the sun is setting and it will be dark soon.

"I better get goin'. It'll be dark soon…" Arthur whispers, as if there's something he wants to do or say but can't bring himself to. His eyes look to the ground, and he tips his head to you before turning around. 

To his surprise, you grab his wrist. The tether between you two grows so strong that it hurts. 

"Arthur, please don't go. Why don't you stay the night? Head back to wherever it is you go to in the morning." You practically whimper. 

He doesn't even have to think, of course he'll stay, for you he will.

— four hours later —

The night is cold, very cold. The combined effect of your lack of coat and the slowly approaching winter doesn't help. You're curled into the tightest ball you can manage, hugging your knees and shivering. It's miserable, the type of cold that seeps into your bones. Arthur had shifted before laying down for the night, and you can hear his steady breathing behind you. He hasn't slept all night. You've drifted in and out of sleep, but he has stayed awake all night, watching you, protecting you, checking the perimeter a few times. 

As soon as you begin to shiver, Arthur stands up. He circles you a few times, whining as if he is debating with himself over something. But as you whimper, miserable from the night's cruel nature, Arthur trots over. He lays at your back, and you practically moan at the relief. Arthur is so warm. You turn around, curling yourself into him. His fur is like the softest blanket you've ever felt, and his body radiates heat. It's cathartic. 

"Why are you helpin' me? Bein' so kind?" You whisper, nuzzling your nose into his warm fur.

Arthur presses his wet nose into the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent once again. Just like the first night you met him, the color in his eyes bleeds to red. It's beautiful, and you look into them, curious about the change of color. You can feel that tug in your chest again, it's strong tonight, but you ignore it, pressing yourself into his frame until blissful sleep finally overcomes you. 

When you wake up he's gone. 

— twelve days later —

Arthur… I saw him up on the ridge above my camp today. I don't know if he runs in a pack, or why in the hell he's so far east, but… he keeps an eye on me. I swear I see those green eyes just beyond the treeline when I fall asleep. I can feel his presence when he's nearby, like something is pulling me to him. I have this drive to be around him in a way that I can't explain, like I need him… but I haven't seen him since that cold night. 

You steady your hand, focusing on the old oak tree ahead of you. As you exhale, you release the knife, smiling as it lands directly into the thick trunk of the oak tree. 

You trod over to the tree, bending down to pick up the few knives that you've lodged into the tree, and the two that landed on the ground. Marley barks excitedly, and you turn around to find the source. 

Arthur…

He steps out of the woods slowly, head held down as he approaches you in his wolf form. He's breathing heavily, as if he was running for a while to get here.  

"Been wonderin' why you haven't come to see me. Had me worried some hunter had you mounted on their wall." You joke, reaching out to pet Arthur's head. His eyes slip shut, and he pushes his nose into you, almost roughly, as if he needs this like a starved man. He once again inhales your scent deeply.

It's then that you notice something in his maw. Your eyebrows knit together as you hold out your hand. He opens his mouth, dropping a rolled up piece of paper and a wooden wolf into your hand. You're confused as to why he didn't just tell you whatever it is the note says, but you don't have time to ask as he turns tail and runs away, eyes red. 

"Arthur, don't go!" You cry out to no avail. 

The buzz in your chest grows as he runs and you ignore the ache, looking down to the items in your hands. The little wooden wolf is beautiful. It's been hand carved from a piece of oak and a knife. Tears well in your eyes as the ache in your chest grows, and you open the note. 

I'm sorry. I can't stay around you. It's hard to explain, but it's better if I leave you be. That ache in your chest, like something pulling you? I feel it too, and more than anything, I wanna be with you, but it's not fair for me to do that to you, darlin. ‐ Arthur. 

Rivulets of tears run down your cheeks as you sit on the ground, hugging your knees. You've been doing research, stopping into libraries to read books on legends of western wolves and lycanthropes. You've learned how they used to run in large packs, how they were hunted almost to extinction. But most importantly, you learned about their mates. 

They can't choose their mates, instead they are pulled together by the moon. You think over the feeling in your chest, how many times you've written about the invisible tether that  pulls the two of you to each other.

Is Arthur your mate…?

And if he is, why is he leaving you?

— two weeks later — 

The moon is full tonight, and all you can think of is Arthur. You know he'll be out running tonight, and you hope that he comes by. You haven't seen him in weeks, and it's only made your ache to be around him stronger. Maybe the moon will alter his control, drive him to come see you. You’ve been stopping in at libraries in town, sneaking just enough to hide your face from the passerbys. Every book on lycanthropes that you've been able to find has been thoroughly analyzed. You know why he’s hiding. And dammit, if he would just come back you could convince him to stay. You rest a stray leaf in between the pages of your book to mark your page before setting it down on the ground. Marley trots over and you chuckle as he lays down on your bedroll. 

It's late, past midnight as you stand up and start to dress down for the night. You’re not worried about wandering eyes, it's dark, and anyone who steps foot in your camp to look will be met with a bullet. You strip your jeans and shirt, standing bare in the grassy opening. You run your fingers through your hair, before reaching onto the ground for a clean shirt. Just as you go to grab the cloth, you hear it. A low, deep, growl resonates from the forest, it’s him. Through the opening in the trees you can see glowing red eyes, and relief washes over you. His crimson orbs are locked into the little wooden wolf that is tied around your neck. 

“I know why you left, Arthur, why you think it would be best for me.” You whisper, extending your hand out as Arthur steps out from the woods slowly. His paws are massive, expertly stepping over the terrain as he inches forward. 

“I've been reading and learning about wolves… I'm your mate, aren't I?” You say, barely above a whisper. Arthur leans in and licks your collarbone lightly. His eyes are so beautiful, deep red like roses. 

“I feel it all the time. It’s like a tether, I can’t stop thinking about you.”

You sigh as Arthur just stands there, listening to what you’re saying. 

“Be great if I could hear what you’re thinkin’.” You bite a little, irritated that you are always talking but can never hear him. 

You watch as he shifts. It's a fluid movement, much more graceful than you would have expected, and in just a few moments he is standing in front of you. His eyes have returned to their soft blue, and you lean in to press your hand against his cheek. Both of you are completely bare before the other, and yet neither of you are uncomfortable. He looks to you with a question.  

“You would tie yourself, you would mate to a stranger?” He asks, eyes glowing red for just a moment on the latter half of the sentence. You chuckle at his misconception. Arthur gently takes your wrist in his hand, bringing it up to his lips and kissing the tender skin on the inside of your wrist. He doesn’t miss the way your breath hitches in your throat. 

“Arthur, you’re not a stranger,” you chuckle, “In this time I’ve known you, you've shown me your character time and time again. I was hungry, cold, alone, and now I’m not.”

You both feel a buzz of electricity run through you, and Arthur groans deeply as he wraps his hands around your soft waist.

“Arthur, I- I need something, but I don’t know what it is. Please-” You moan against him, the tether clouding your mind. He presses his lips to your forehead, gently kissing down your temples. 

“I know what you’re feelin’ and I can make it better, but darlin’ you know how this works, right?” He asks, squeezing your hips a little. Something comes over you and you can't feel anything but him, you need him. 

“I want to be yours, Arthur.” You mewl, pressing your nose into his chest. Arthur growls so deep, it breaks you out of your trance for a moment. His blue eyes lock onto yours. 

“You look at me. Don’t let the bond fog your head, you want this?” He asks, gripping you tightly. 

“Yes.” You whisper with more clarity than you’ve ever felt. For the first time in your life, you feel at home. This is where you should be, what you are meant for. 

He’s yours

Arthur’s eyes remain locked onto yours as he lifts your wrist up to his lips. Your breath quickens in anticipation as he gently bites down on the side of your wrist. 

It’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. Suddenly you are whole. You are part of something bigger, you are with him. His other half. Your souls are permanently bonded and you can feel him all around you. You gasp at the raw emotion of it all. The tether between you and him pulls even tighter for a moment before it snaps and releases. There is no need for it anymore, as you are one. Tears fall down your cheeks as you lean up to kiss Arthur. Everything is right when your lips crash together. He moves against you as emotions sweep through you like a wave, crashing and swirling together.

taglist: @margofiore @mrsarthurmorgan7 @woman-with-no-name @tillith @luvliewriting @pine4pple-b0i @photo1030 @dudsparrow @holyratrimony

[purplelupins]

Y’all know how much angst was in Lamb? Well replace that with fuckin tension and that’s The Red Sky of a Shepherds Warning I’m not doing okay here. I am SWEATING I am not breathing okay I think my heart palpitations are coming back LORD have mercy

[littleredwritingcat]

Thirst Trap: Chapter 18

Midnights Become My Afternoons

Before I say anything else, I must give a shout out SO LONG AND LOUD AND EVERLASTING that it will be heard the world over. @purplelupins did me the honor of betaing this chapter, and boy I'm glad. This wouldn't be half as good without Nora's suggestions, candor, and perceptive feedback.

I'm *so* excited for the first chapter of her new piece, Red Sky of a Shepherd's Warning - I feel just like a kid on Christmas Eve (at Midnight Mass, perhaps?)

In other news, I know this has been slow going. I suspect that Thirst Trap is one or two chapters away from being complete.

For all of you who have hung in there with me, I thank you.

It's been....oh, hell...three years now?

Good gravy.

I'm also going to slap a big ol' trigger warning on this chapter. I had to spin the wheel-o-death, kids.

Herein are the results.

So. Is everyone comfortable? Is everyone ready for John to make more bad decisions?

I know I am!

And *another* shout-out to the brilliant @error4343 - fan art truly is worth a thousand words.

@everythingbutresolved @agirlinherhead @honey-tree-evil-eye @thenookienostradamus @pinksiamese @purplelupins @lakesofneptune @thevampireauthoress @prettyblondguys @midwestmisfit @rothko-mirror @jyngerpeach @chronic-ghost @yepthatsacowalright @ebiemidnightlibrarian @choosekindly @lovepollution @p-e-r-s-e-p-h-o-n-e @perpetual-fangirl900 @vintageglassheart02 @hamishlinklaters

[picturesofthegoneworlds]

If you are still taking prompts: 'new mythologies', focused on the witchy trio. Curious to see what you come up with if you wind up selecting this prompt! I greatly enjoy your writing. :)

There is a woman in the moon (the second moon, that is.) she waxes, she wanes shies and flares but she always stays tethered to one spot and tired of running away. Where she paused her orbit centuries ago crystal arms and legs sprout from the grass and the tides of rivers are pulled, evaporate from heat into clouds that mass. If you do no cover her from your view you will not sleep if you look to someone with her over their shoulder you will not need to speak and if her lightning were to strike, the gemstone-limb-lands will become the petrified home you did not seek.

There is a woman in the sun (there is a second-sun, too.) feels close enough to reach, though she can’t be lassoed she doesn’t spend all of her days here steals - what is offered - takes, often disappears to a more peculiar sky where she instead anchors in time and the flora and fauna with petal trumpets and sinew harps dance and dine on top of beds of canopied candied leather leaves and filigree skeleton branches then returns, here, intermittently, with what she had taken and what was newly granted jewellery adorning flaming tendrils that smelts and pours liquid gold between the fault lines and the landfills Sometimes the sun stays late to greet the moon, others she arrives early to share the sky of the long summer days with her But the sky is still a sky they cannot often share, so once a century they shadow one another reach out for each other with hands of flame and lightning when their fingers converge they tie in knots and bows, in threads red and ribbons green and all who are bound will be unaware, gift-wrapped in what is reality and what is dream can unveil bliss or purgatory there in the in-between- - there is a woman in the sun, another in the moon. They have been there longer than I can remember… longer than my mother can and hers, too

There is a woman in the moon and she is always blushing ‘Red sky at night - shepherd’s delight Red sky at morning - shepherd’s warning’ mourning a crack, a howl, a breeze can be heard from the densest of city cobblestones and the highest of mountain peaks a lonely tune bereft of its melody searches out shadow and turns it to static energy

There is a woman in the moon -a woman in the sun, too and ruins of temples to old gods (I’m told) glass panes long dissolved from between lead canes corners of masonry rounded by rain shingles masking floor tiles carpeted in ivy, grout replaced by root and rot and if you were to build the moon an alter lightning will sunder, shatter, strike it down but the sun accepts offerings, bleaches colours to keep the hues for her own collection, peacocks them as a crown

There is a witch in a cottage in the woods in a clearing, on stilts and platforms and pontoons her garden grows, in both the light and shadow and she wears death like a lace fine-spun from her own marrow land flush with lilac, lavender and violets here it is, where the moon is moored above the glade where the sun passes often on parade and the witch knows both the sun and the moon by name strings up tapestries and dolls from between the branches so that they both can see of friends and loved ones between threads of red and ribbons of green

[wing-ed-thing]

Autumn (Neji x Reader)

Synopsis: You and Neji come home after a long day at the Autumn Festival.

Word Count: 0.8k

Tags/Warnings: @theingiii Fluff

Notes: I've run out of Neji gifs. Like actually! But why would I make Neji gifs when I can daydram about autumn?? It's certainly not too early!

“Let me just lie down for a second.” 

The fresh berry pie you bought from the festival slid perfectly to the center of Neji’s small kitchen table. Your coat draped over the back of one of the chairs as you made a beeline to plop down on the couch, sinking straight into the cushions. Your knitted socks brushed against the plush area rug as your leg slumped over the edge. The armrest elevated your opposite ankle. Neji snatched up your scarf as it coiled to the floor, folding it next to your half-empty fall-flavored latte. 

“You’re going to fall asleep.” He frowned. 

Neji was almost sure you would. It had been a long day, beginning with you actually beating him out of bed. He remembered your silhouette as you got ready in the bluish tint of the morning. The next thing he knew, you were shepherding him across the village fifteen minutes early to the Autumn Leaf Festival with time to spare for a themed breakfast at a local cafe. 

You heard him pad off somewhere into the kitchen, followed by the ruffle of bags. You turned on your side, peering lazily over Neji’s silk decorative pillows as he unpacked your produce. You only realized how much you bought when you saw it all spread out on the counter. You had been the one talking to the farmers and stall owners, and when it was time to pay, Neji had his wallet in hand. 

“I didn’t realize how much we brought back,” you laughed sheepishly. You curled up with a pillow, letting your face smush into the soft material. If Neji had a knack for anything, it was interior design. At least you thought so. You were sure Neji would disagree. 

He had stopped in the middle of his unloading to cut a pumpkin tart in two. With plate in hand, he returned to where you lounged on the couch. The cushion dipped under him as he sat in the curve between your torso and curled legs. 

“It makes you happy, doesn’t it?” He offered you the plate, so the slightly larger piece slid toward you. You took the one half, and Neji took the other. You hummed as you took a bite, turning to stare out the glass windows of his balcony. Neji nibbled his tart, following your gaze. 

He had a view of the whole mountain. Even from where you lay, you could watch the colors of the leaves change. The mixture of reds, oranges, and browns whisked about in the wind, the sea of branches that covered the Land of Fire ebbing and flowing in tandem like a giant wave.

As busy as he was, Neji hadn’t even noticed the leaves changing until today. Despite his patrols or daily commute to the Hokage building, the season's changing colors hadn’t even occurred to him until you pointed them out earlier. Only when you were holding him close to you, wrapping a warm scarf around his neck, did he realize just how fast time went. 

Neji could have been with you at that moment for an eternity, he decided. But even that moment passed, settling like sand into a new tender moment as you ate together and watched the leaves. 

He kissed you on the forehead, pulling a neatly folded throw blanket from its spot hanging off the back of the couch.

“Go to sleep,” he said, returning the empty plate just a few steps to the kitchen. “I know you’re going to.” 

And it was the same every time. No matter how you protested or hated to admit it, Neji was seldom wrong. 

You woke up in the same position you had fallen asleep in. The sky outside had darkened, leaving few clues about how long you were out. A slight fog tinted the glass. You kicked off the blanket, suddenly warm. A few cracks from your joints made an audible sound as you slowly rose; the smell of something cooking wafted through the air.

You found Neji standing in the kitchen. His hair was pulled up into a neat bun. The collar of an apron sat at the back of his neck and tied neatly around his back. You came up behind him, nuzzling his shoulder as you slipped your hands into the apron pouch just under Neji’s ribs. You peeked around him, watching the colorful collection of vegetables swirled around his ladle. 

“I could’ve helped,” you muttered against the fabric of his shirt. Neji raised his arm, wrapping it around you. He gently combed his fingers over the parts of your hair that he could. 

“Asleep?” The side of Neji’s lips brushed against your hairline, a playful pout twitching at your mouth. You gave him another nuzzle. Neji tapped the ladle on the edge of the pot. His shirt bunched up in your two-armed grip as he turned to lay a gentle kiss on your head. “I kid. Would you grab bowls, please?”

You recoiled your touch slowly and softly, giving Neji’s bottom a quick swat as you retreated to bring him two bowls. He snorted, not even batting an eye. Neji watched the back of your head with a steady breath in, taking in this moment with you.

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed, and supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

Notes: I'd like to think that this is my version of a store putting out Halloween decorations in the summer.

[littlelostmabari]

I don't know if I was supposed to do these in order but I had an itch to write a happy Wyll snippet so WE'RE BREAKING THE RULES.

Thanks to @kelandrin for the lovely BG3 Pride Prompts! (Link to that post here) (Dividers here)

9. First Meeting

Pairing: Wyll x Tav

Warnings: No warnings, unless you're squeamish about undead.

Word count: 1.4k

Arctavius swung down from the ledge above the brawl, shoving the ghast back with two feet and the momentum of his arc. Fighting unarmed had its downsides — namely that he was going to have to breathe in the nasty beast’s odor in order to get close enough to strike. His next blow failed to land, but the second shattered something within the creature and caused it to reel. Stunned. Good.

The momentary relief allowed him to survey the rest of the battlefield. Whoever this fighter was, taking on this horde of undead, was both extremely skilled and extremely stupid. There were too many of them to have taken them on alone. 

That's alright, Arctavius always loved an underdog. 

That's why he had entered the fray from his hunting perch in the ruined tower above the battle. It definitely wasn't that the man in front of him was easily the best swordsman he'd seen in an age, and losing such talent would be a waste. And it certainly wasn't that the man’s cheerful taunts fell on ears too dead to understand them, and yet he persisted. 

And gods forbid, it wasn't because Arctavius had a thing for tieflings. His eyes darted across the curve of the swordsman's horns and ornamented black — no, deep brown — locs that draped across his forehead and down over his shoulders. He allowed his gaze to be drawn down across the man's neck and shoulders, down down down to his bare muscled forearm to his wrist and hand and the rapier that he used as an extension of his own body. 

Nope, it definitely wasn't that the man was terribly, infuriatingly attractive. So much so that the recovered ghast got a claw down the right side of his hip when he was distracted. By the sweat beading on the unblemished ochre skin of the swordsman's neck, of all things. 

Get it together, you perv.

Groaning to himself, Arctavius pushed through the pain and punched the ghast directly in the face, shoving him back ten feet into a pair of ghouls that were clambering up the side of the wall preparing to ambush the tiefling from high above. They collapsed into a pile of limbs and angry undead noises, before Arcavius gently tossed an alchemist’s fire into the lot of them. It was good that undead burned easily, but the smell would probably linger. With a grimace and a slight turn of his stomach, he turned his attention back to the other swordsman, who [with my timely intervention] was rapidly downing the rest of the undead horde, with only a death shepherd remaining. 

He locked eyes with the other warrior just long enough to realize two things — one, that his eyes were mismatched in color, one a stony gray and the other a deep fiery red, and two, that this death shepherd was going to regret its unlife choices. 

~~~

Moments after the last of the horde had keeled over, Arctavius was patting himself down to check for injuries. The claw strike was the worst of it, and he mourned the robes he had just purchased from that roving caravan. They were a soft bloody red, his favorite color, and they had cost him dearly. He let his head fall back onto his shoulders to groan into the sky. Well, all was not lost. 

His head immediately perked up and scanned the battlefield, finding that the other fighter had disappeared. He felt his ears twitch, seeking and finding sound in the bramble bushes a distance north from the ruined tower. Scrambling in that direction, he stumbled almost into the tiefling man, who turned on his heel and suddenly he was face to face with not a tiefling, but a devil. 

It was there in the features. His claws were just a little too pointed, his eyes just a little too fiery. The horns weren’t right, and the points along his jaw — while undoubtedly attractive — were more purposeful than ancestral. Arctavius started, clenching his jaw as he looked about the man, taking him in in less violent surrounds. It meant he was unnerved when the man began to speak. 

“Hah! Well met friend. Seems I got a lucky break today, you arriving when you did.” The man closed his eyes gently and bowed swiftly, his right hand clutching into a fist and beating once on his chest in a friendly salute. Arctavius noticed that his left hand never left the pommel of his rapier, and had clicked it just so it sat outside of its sheath — prepared to draw if necessary. 

Friendly, but wary. Good to know.

“Indeed!” Arctavius copied the salute but bowed further and with greater flourish. “I could not let those nasty little critters get away with … well, whatever it was they were doing.” He forced his face into a disarming grin. Its meaning didn’t escape the swordsman, whose mismatched eyes glinted fiercely. 

“Hunting my wards,” he replied, and stepped aside to reveal a scene in the bushes that Arctavius did not expect. Six children in various states of fear and courage were curled up in the brambles. A tiefling boy, not more than ten, stood with his fists up in a decent fighting stance. A pair of elven twins curled around each other deep in the huddle. The other three — a dragonborn, another tiefling, and a human — looked at him with a mix of fear and curiosity. “They’re orphans of the recent calamity. I am taking them to their new home at the druid grove in Moonrise Towers, just over the next vale.” The dragonborn child pushed past the tiefling boy in front and clung to the back of the swordsman’s tabard, his little claws pushing into the cloth and holding on tightly.

“Are we safe, Mr. Blade?”

The swordsman — Mr. Blade — still with his gentle smile and crooked head tilt, looked Arctavius up and down slowly. He must have seen something halfway decent because he pushed his rapier back into its sheath with a click and turned to kneel in front of the boy. 

“Soon, Nemrac,” he smiled. “We will be safe soon. Ser Halsin will be so happy to see you.” 

The dragonborn child grinned toothily and dug in his pockets for a moment before pulling out a well-hewn wooden mallard. “Do you think he’ll make me another bird?” Mr. Blade laughed. 

“Yes, if you ask him very nicely.”

Arctavius had no idea what to do with this little scene. It could be that this devil-man was sending children to a grisly fate… but the way they looked up at him as they crawled from the bramble was with eyes wide open to his features. Mr. Blade cooed as he picked up one of the elven twins and rested them gently on his hip. The child reached a hand up to his horn to steady themselves. Mr. Blade took their sibling in a firm grip with his other hand and turned toward Arctavius who felt suddenly like he was intruding on a family reunion. 

“Well, we had best be on our way,” Mr. Blade said with a nod. “I’d like to get the children settled before supper. Thank you for your timely kindness, Ser…” 

“Not Ser, just Arctavius. Tav to my friends.” Arctavius wasn’t quite sure why he added that last part. 

“Tav, then.” He released his hand from the standing elven child and reached out in greeting. Arctavius took his forearm. 

“Wyll Ravengard, Blade of Avernus, at your service.” His grip was unyielding, but he released quickly enough that the child was not bereft of his comfort for long. “Thank you for the help, and may the Three guide your steps.” Wyll turned to the children and began to usher them down the hillside, their trek towards Moonrise almost complete. 

Arctavius glanced back up at the tower that had been his home for three nights. He had meant to move on eventually, right? And now that his temporary sanctum smelled of burnt ghast and ghoul, he wasn’t about to sleep here again? Right? 

He scrambled up the side of the tower to his perch some forty feet in the air, stuffed everything that wasn’t food [ew, smells of ghast] into his knapsack, and scaled back down the tower. With children in tow, Wyll wasn’t moving particularly quickly. 

“Hey, Blade!?” Arctavius called as he approached. “I’m heading back toward that vale anyway, would you like the company?” It wasn’t technically the truth — he wasn’t heading in any particular direction except that which the wind took him.

Then again, maybe the wind was telling him something, as he felt his stomach drop through his feet and his breath stolen by the aforementioned breeze at the smile that Wyll Ravengard, Blade of Avernus, was wearing as he joyfully waited for Tav to catch up.