#the real kung fu panda 4 was the friends we made along the way

[sealhaus]

Living dead girl

Yes that’s Tai’s skull thank you for asking I’m very proud of myself

[mimkyx4]

Live me reaction in the cinema when he said this line.

The line isn’t 100% right but same same

[oflgtfol]

some immediate thoughts, as i'm sure more will come to me in the following days, weeks, months, years, etc.

overall mood leaving the theater: it was nowhere near as bad as i feared, but also nowhere near as good as it should and could have been. overwhelmingly meh. it was entertaining, certainly, but not as like, genuinely deep, layered, and emotional as the prior movies.

spoilers under the cut

let's start with the good things:

animation was top notch. i was especially impressed by the environments!! i feel like that was a huge improvement from previous kfp movies. none of them had bad environmental design, but it wasn't necessarily eye-catching either, as the kfp art always excelled more in character designs, fight choreography, music, and lighting imo. BUT! kfp 4 really stepped up with the environmental design, it was definitely eye catching and so so impressive. the wetlands and farms outside of the valley of peace village were so beautiful, and all the detail jam-packed into each alleyway of juniper city -- the shop signage, the candles, the general objects of these spaces being lived in -- was so great

fur texture also seemed like it was rendered differently than in previous movies. definitely looked fluffier than normal, but subtly so. it felt like they took notes from the animation style of puss in boots but still stayed true to the overall look of the kung fu panda franchise, which i like. as amazing as pib was, it would be incredibly jarring to suddenly change styles mid-franchise for kfp like that. so i'm glad to see a stylistic choice made but a subtle one. and frankly i doubt anyone else would even notice it but i'm like stupidly obsessed with these movies and have always taken note of how fur is rendered, particularly for po, and so i have noticed that slight difference

i LOVED the variety of animals in this movie. the pangolin guy, the manta ray, the howler monkeys (?), the pelican and the fish, and of course the chameleon and her komodo dragon (?) lackeys. i also even liked the inclusion of wolves but as casual background characters, since wolves had only ever really been generic bad guys beforehand

i liked when po called himself "the kung fu panda." like haha. lol

the fucking ending song. jack black covering hit me baby one more time was so fucking epic???!!? britney spears in MY kung fu panda?!?!!?!?!?! i loved it. absolutely fucking delightful

now onto my critiques. and i will admit a lot of these are nitpicky but as i said earlier, i am stupidly obsessed with these movies, and so i will nitpick to my heart's desire

the fucking dialogue felt way too modern. especially from zhen. like when she said "i love that for you" like yes it made me laugh but also like they have never spoken like that prior kfp movies. weird as fuck. kinda took me out of the immersion. there were several other instances of this too but i can only remember this one because it was the only one that got a chuckle out of me, and then immediately made me go ??? right after chuckling

zhen's character design still fucking sucks. my friend, who is nowhere near as kfp-pilled as i am, said "i thought that was judy hopps" as soon as zhen came on screen. she fucking looks like she's from zootopia. why is this fox wearing makeup. killing myself as we speak

WHERE the fuck was the furious five. they gave some half-assed explanation to where the furious five were at the beginning of the movie, but it's like, gah. this is what really made it feel like Not A Real Kung Fu Panda Movie, because they are always in the kfp movies!! it's not a real kfp movie without them!!! the dragon warrior and the furious five!!

along those lines, the inclusion of the previous villains of the franchise felt half-assed. the fact neither shen nor kai ever spoke was weird as fuck.

that, along with the lack of the furious five, really felt like they just weren't able to get the voice actors back for this movie, and so they just wrote the characters out entirely because of it. :(

the inclusion of tai lung was perfect i think. my one coworker, when discussing how unnecessary this movie was, and the appearance of tai lung in the trailer, said that he hopes this movie is a redemption arc for tai lung. and i said no fucking way. that would ruin it for me entirely. and so i'm glad they did not do that! tai lung barely showed up but still had a semi-major presence in the few scenes he did exist in. and it struck a good balance for me

however,

he did have sort of a little mini-redemption where he's suddenly rooting for po. like bro what. idk i think they could've handled his acceptance of po as the dragon warrior a bit btter, not have it come out of nowhere. i don't have any thoughts on how it could have been handled better just yet, but immediately post-movie, all i know is that it could have been better.

especially if they had given shen and kai some screen time? literally any voice lines at all? i think the thing that made tai lung's mini arc so weird to me is that he's the ONLY villain who got any sort of anything during that whole part of the movie. it was just weird. like, why did we not get a mini-confrontation with shen and kai. especially kai since this chameleon lady is, essentially, doing what kai was attempting, just from the other side of mortality??? not even a fucking snide comment from kai about like unoriginality or something?? kai was so sarcastic he could've had just a single sarcastic line while he was in his cage about what the chameleon was doing and it would've made his inclusion so much more satisfying. instead he's literally just there. in the corner.

and this is especially jarring for shen since shen was such a fucking fucked up villain for po and so i feel like seeing him again would make po at least do a double take? or like, have shen make his own little complaint about how the chameleon is the ruler of juniper city, like how shen was the ruler of gongmen city? but again shen is just there. sitting in the corner.

but by god they got ian mcshane back as a voice actor so by god they gotta give tai lung those voice lines even when no one else has any

the whole concept of the previous villains returning, even for just a brief amount of time, just all around felt so wasted and strange

anyway moving onto the chameleon now. god i have my issues with kai as a villain, about how his motivations are so fucking weak compared to tai lung and shen. tai lung was raised from childhood to adulthood with the expectation from his father that he would become the dragon warrior, and then when that didn't happen, he was thrown away and discarded (from his perspective). he was betrayed by his own family and that's why he goes around rampaging, cuz he's fucking pissed and betrayed. shen wants power and will do everything he can to stop any obstacles from preventing him from it, because his parents had been horrified with him and exiled him for what he did. he received a prophecy that a warrior of black and white would one day stop him, and so he went on to fucking genocide the pandas. shen is simultaneously egotistical yet also incredibly insecure that he must go to such extreme, violent lengths to stay in power, an insecurity that stems from his parents not supporting his actions in his youth. shen's motive is power for power's sake, but the REASON he wants that power is what matters. my problem with kai is that we really don't fucking know why he wants power. to one up oogway? i guess? literally a guessing game. blah blah beef with oogway like okay so why did you start murdering people for their chi in the first place. just weird. and now that problem is dialled up up to 11 with the chameleon. like oh no everyone underestimated me because of how small i am (no kung fu master would ever train her because of how small she is! quick, don't think of mantis of the furious five, who is literally an insect!) SO LET ME GO LIKE BECOME A GIANT EVIL DICTATOR? like what the fuck? where in god's name did that logical leap come from. everyone underestimated me so LET ME BECOME EVIL. like fuck man it could have been a deeper backstory if it was like, actually shown why she went to that extreme from something as petty as that. was she bullied, disenfranchised - rightfully angry at how she was treated and turned to a larger evil in response, like tai lung? or was she entitled and only perceived herself to be wronged, like shen? no, none of that! she's just evil cuz why not, with some random "motivation" slapped on over it. man i can't believe they made kai look like a better villain in comparison

and how exactly did she challenge po in any way that he hadn't already been challenged? the kfp trilogy was insanely deep beyond it's surface level silliness. tai lung represented a battle of the body. shen, of the mind. kai, of the spirit. body, mind, spirit. a perfect trio. they wrapped po's story up perfectly with the end of kfp3. there was nothing else to do with him. this movie was unnecessary and this villain did nothing that hadn't already been done before

the only character arc that happened was with zhen. literally the story was about zhen, not po.

that's like.... fine, i guess, if this wasn't named kung fu panda 4, in a franchise of three other prior movies, where po is the central character, with po growing and going through an arc in each movie. it literally feels like star wars the skywalker saga vs. star wars whatever is coming after. where kfp 1-3 is like, the kung fu panda saga, and then 4+ is about zhen instead. like, i don't care? this is kung fu PANDA

or, essentially: it feels like one of the direct-to-streaming spinoff kfp shows where the story isn't actually about po but about some other side character, and further exemplified by that lack of the furious five (see: paws of destiny, dragon knight). this does not feel like it fits on-par with kfp 1-3 as a theatrical release with a set cast, set tone, set story projection. side by side with the prior movies, kfp4 stands out really badly. it does not feel like a kung fu panda movie

like man what the fuck do you mean po isn't the dragon warrior anymore. he's literally theeee dragon warrior. fuck my whole life

it was still a good time, in the "shut your brain off and don't think about anything too deeply" kind of way. i must say if i was a kid watching this movie right now it would not grip me in the same way that kung fu panda 1 gripped me at the ripe tender age of 7, to the point where i'm now 22 still writing essays about these movies

going to see kung fu panda 4 today. wish me luck

[whatsnewcartoons]

What’s New In 2019: The Cartoons.

PART 2:

Separated by network. All premiere dates are estimated until confirmed. Timings are in EST.

DISNEY CHANNEL:

- Amphibia (TBA):  Created and executive produced by Matt Braly (Gravity Falls), Amphibia chronicles the adventures of Anne Boonchuy, a self-centered 13-year-old who is magically transported to the fictitious world of Amphibia, a rural marshland full of frog-people. With the help of an excitable young frog named Sprig, Anne will transform into a hero and discover the first true friendship of her life.

The series was announced to be greenlit for production in early 2018 and is expected to premiere later in 2019.

- The Owl House (TBA):  Created and executive produced by Dana Terrace (DuckTales) is a horror-comedy series that follows Luz, a self-assured teenage human girl who accidentally stumbles upon a portal to the Demon Realm. There she befriends a rebellious witch, Eda, and an adorably tiny warrior, King. Despite not having magical abilities, Luz pursues her dream of becoming a witch by serving as Eda’s apprentice at the Owl House and ultimately finds a new family in an unlikely setting.

The series was announced at the same time as Amphibia and a Season 4 renewal of Star vs the Forces of Evil in early 2018. Similar to Amphibia, it is expected to release in late 2019.

- Vikingskool (end 2019): The series will follow a group of young would-be Viking warriors in an elite Vikingskool. Ross described the alumni as being “Like freshmen in ‘Top Gun,’ but for Vikings. ”The group will embark on a series of humorous and exciting adventures in a mystical world. At the heart of the tale are three best friends: Erik, Arnie and Ilba, each with their own unique Viking strengths and weaknesses.

The series is being produced by Ireland’s Cartoon Saloon (“The Secret of Kells,” “The Breadwinner”) and France’s Samka Productions (“Jamie’s Got Tentacles”) with post-production from Norwegian VFX company Storm Films. It’s this pedigree that prompted Ross to explain to Variety: “There is a substantial Viking history in Ireland and Northern France. As a co-production we can say it’s the only Viking show made by actual Vikings.” 

The series’ 26 half-hours are scheduled for broadcast at the end of 2019. 

- 101 Dalmatian Street (early 2019): Inspired by Dodie Smith’s 1956 novel and the 1961 movie, it will be based in Camden Town, London.

Featuring 43 cast members covering 106 speaking roles, the modern tale will focus on dalmatians Dylan and Dolly, their parents Doug and Delilah and 97 younger puppies whose names all also begin with D. Miriam Margolyes, known for her portrayal of Professor Sprout in the Harry Potter film series, will voice Bessie the Cornish Cow.American actors Josh Brener and Michaela Dietz will voice Dylan and Dolly, the eldest Dalmatian siblings. Rapper Ben Bailey Smith, also known as Doc Brown, will voice Sid Squirrel as well as Spencer Sausage Dog. The series will also feature EastEnders star Tameka Empson as Pearl Police Horse and Bethan Wright as Prunella Pug.

The series has premiered its first episode on Disney Channel Africa and is set to premiere on Disney Channel UK in January. It will premiere in the US in spring 2019.

NETFLIX:

- Pinky Malinky (January 1, 2019): Pinky Malinky is a brand-new fly-on-the-wall reality show that follows the everyday life of Pinky, an infectiously positive hot dog living in a human world. With his best friends Babs and JJ by his side, Pinky reaches for the stars in the small town of Sackenhack. Through his good spirits and sausage sensibilities, Pinky proves that a "wiener" is only one small letter away from being a "WINNER!"

Using the tropes of a mockumentary and reality show format, Pinky and his friends will talk directly to the camera and the audience to share their absurd and silly take on real life. At times, all children feel like they don't fit in and Pinky's undeniably unique point of view as a literal wiener amongst humans will allow kids to laugh at his familiar struggles and enjoy his unusual perspective on the challenges of being a school-aged kid. By always reaching for the stars, Pinky pushes himself further than anyone could imagine. Pinky and his friends' humorous experiences will also be shared across social media and Nickelodeon's digital platforms. Co-created and co-executive produced by Chris Garbutt and Rikke Asbjoern (The Amazing World of Gumball) and executive produced by Scott Kreamer (Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness), the trio are a part of the Artist Collective, an internal diverse group of experienced creators who mentor and support up-and-coming talent while also collaborating to cultivate, challenge and inspire Nickelodeon's development pipeline. Pinky Malinky will star Lucas Grabeel (Glenn Martin DDS, I Kissed A Vampire) as Pinky Malinky, Diamond White (The Haunted Hathaways) as Babs Buttman, and Nathan Kress (iCarly) as JJ Jameson. Under the deal with Netflix, Nickelodeon is producing two seasons — 59 episodes — of Pinky Malinky for the streaming service. The first season, consisting of 28 episodes is now available on Netflix.

- Tuca & Bertie (TBA): The series, which has received a 10-episode order, is an adult-oriented comedy about the friendship between two 30-year-old bird women who live in the same apartment building: Tuca (Haddish), a cocky, care-free toucan, and Bertie (Wong), an anxious, daydreaming songbird.

Both Haddish and Wong will also serve as executive producers in addition to starring. Lisa Hanawalt created the series and will serve as executive producer. Hanawalt is the production designer and producer on Netflix’s critically-acclaimed animated series “BoJack Horseman.” Raphael Bob-Waksberg, the creator of “BoJack” will also executive produce along with “BoJack” executive producers Noel Bright and Steven A. Cohen. Michael Eisner’s The Tornante Company, which produces “BoJack,” will produce. Animation is being done at Shadowmachine.

The series was announced to be in production in February 2018 and is set to release in the summer.

- Carmen Sandiego (January 18, 2019): Carmen Sandiego started as a video game in 1985 and ventured out into books, television, and comics. Children of the ‘90s have searched for Sandiego in the U.S.A., in Europe, in Space, and back in Time. The PBS animated series Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego? ran for 295 episodes between 1991 and 1995. Author John Peel wrote 10 Carmen Sandiego books in the '90s. DC Comics published four issues of a Carmen Sandiego comic starting in June 1996.

Believe it or not, after more than two decades Sandiego, a notorious crook, is still on the loose. Can she outrun the Netflix binge watchers? We’ll have see if Rodriguez has what it takes.

Insiders say that Netflix has ordered 20 episodes of the series, which aims to be as educational as it is entertaining, given the title character’s globetrotting adventures. The series is set to release on Netflix on January 18, 2019.

- Cannon Busters (March 1, 2019):  Cannon Busters tells the story of a royal droid named S.A.M., who is searching for her best friend, and heir to the throne. Along the way, she’s joined by an old maintenance droid and a fugitive. The 12-episode series buy is part of Netflix’s impending wave of anime titles including Ultraman, Kengan Ashura, and season two of Aggretsuko.

Cannon Busters was created by LeSean Thomas, a storyboard artist and character designer known for his work on The Boondocks, the animated Black Dynamite series, and The Legend of Korra. Following a successful Kickstarter campaign, Netflix has bought 12 episodes, adapted from a 2003 comic of the same title. 

The series was first announced at the Netflix panel at the 2018 Anime Expo and is set to release on Netflix on March 1, 2019.

 - Twelve Forever (TBA): The series centers on 12-year-old Reggie, whose desire to remain a child is so powerful it creates a fantasy world in which she never has to grow up. She’s joined by her friends Todd and Esther, who visit this amazing world to live out their superhero fantasies and escape the responsibilities of impending adulthood.

Production companies behind the series are the Cartel and Puny Entertainment. In addition to Vickerman, executive producers include the Cartel’s Stan Spry and Bradford Bricken, and Puny’s Chris Hardwick and Shadi Petosky.

The original pilot was first aired on Cartoon Network in 2015 and was not picked up by the network until Netflix was announced to have picked it up for a first season in December 2017 and is set to release sometime in 2019.

So that’s the stuff you can expect from the major networks (and Netflix) in terms of animation this year. Which shows are you most excited to watch this year? Here’s to an amazing 2019 full of amazing cartoons.

For the upcoming cartoons on Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon, go check out Part 1.

[isakthedragon]

Super Sonic Thieves Chapter 20

Chapter 20- Kung Tsao Rooster

The Set-Up:

Sonic, narrating: “Wait, hang on, who’s left for us to defeat again?”

Sly, narrating: “Unfortunately, it just so happens to be the terrible General Tsao. To put it bluntly, he is very sexist to women, thinking he can force them to marriage and be his *ahem* ‘wife���, which is more like a servant. We fought him when we helped Panda King rescue his daughter from marrying him, and he’s definitely tougher than he looks. He’s strong, brazen, and will do anything he can to get what he wants. He even found our safe house and took Bentley’s computer right out his hands, just in an effort to stop us. Since he has left prison though, I’m guessing he’s looking for someplace to conquer and make his home. And he kicked a puppy supposedly.”

Cream, from afar, but hearable: “NO! Not the puppy!!”

Sonic, narrating: “Don’t worry, Cream, we’re going to teach him a thing or two. He seems to be visiting a part of our world that looks more Chinese than anything and take over there. We are going to stop him before he harrasses anyone else.”

-----

Zone Layout: The first two acts here take place in the daytime, crossing the Great Wall, long and winding dragon statues, and large lines of pagodas, and even going across the river the dragon boats cross on. The last two Acts take place at night, following along the river of Chun-nan’s village, which is being terrorized by General Tsao.

Enemies:

Pig-bots: Robot replicas of General Tsao’s pigs. Similar to Tsao’s original pig guards, they will either try to karate chop you or send a missile shaped like a dragon head at you that needs to be avoided. Carries 22-24 coins and has a 10% chance of treasure to pickpocket.

Monk-keys: Robotic copies of Tsao’s monkeys with all the downloadable knowledge of kung-fu. But since these are Tsao’s guards, they still aren’t very smart. Carries/drops 26-28 coins and has a 25% chance of treasure to pickpocket.

Tigerots: Eggman’s robotic copies of Tsao’s impressive tiger guards. Be careful around these robots, as not only do their punches hurt, they also carry spears that they can throw and poke you with.  Carries/drops 26-31 coins and has a 50% chance of treasure to pickpocket.

Mantis Vampires: For once not robotic duplicates of Tsao’s guards by Eggman but the real deals, Tsao managing to strike a deal with the mad scientist to keep. The Mantis Vampires were servants of General Tsao’s ancestors that, upon their deaths, were reanimated into undeath by the Tsao family’s dark magic, becoming hopping vampires. Fortunately, given the nature of vampires, they cannot appear in the day, but at night… The Mantis Vampires move slow, but they come in large numbers and explode upon death. Ranged attacks recommended. They drop any amount of coins when they explode.

Egg Launcher: These missile happy robots will send their payloads after you relentlessly until they are destroy. They can fire horizontally, vertically, or both. Drops 26 rings when smashed.

Egg Fighter Knight: They’ve come back bigger and tougher, and will fight to the bitter end. Though, since these knights don’t play fair, back attacks are fair game. Drops 28 rings when smashed.

Egg Cannons: They fire cannonballs at you in an effort to trip you up. They’re built strong so a few hits are going to be needed to take these out. Drops 30 rings when smashed.

Dark Master: The wizard force of Dark Gaia that can heal its friends and attack with a ball of energy at you. Drops 32 rings when defeated.

Deep Nightmare/Nightmare: The big grunts of the Dark Gaia force, they use their stretchy arms to attack at different ranges. Drops 34 rings when smashed.

Titans: Equal to being the Dark Gaia commanders, they carry around wooden clubs and swing them, but can also create shockwaves to unbalance enemies. Drops 36 rings when smashed.

Treasures:

From Guards:

Bronze Coin: Worth 125 coins and 63 rings.

Silver Coin: Worth 145 coins and 73 rings.

Gold Coin: Worth 165 coins and 83 rings.

From Pedestals:

Legendary Hot Dog: Found in one of the pagodas in Act 1. Worth 2500 coins and 1250 rings.

Golden Dragon Fangs: Found on one of the islands in Act 2. Worth 2600 coins and 1300 rings.

Ageless Scroll: Found in a temple in Act 3. Worth 2700 coins and 1350 rings.

The coins have a dragon for the design on them.

-----

Dragon Road Zone Act 1: Espio and Sly tackle the first act here, in broad daylight. Hmm… Anyway, the player runs and sneaks across the Great Wall that Sonic used to run on before. This then diverts to large pagodas and dragon statues that span across the water, with plenty of guards keeping watch for the player. The act ends when Sly and Espio have to divert by jumping off a bridge to the water and little islands below.

*At the start.*

Sly: “Huh, this place looks quite similar to our China, but it’s not China…”

Espio: “We call this place Chun-nan. From what I saw in your world, it is safe to say this place is just our world’s version of your China.”

Sly: “Well, that makes things easy. Well… I never thought I’d be thieving in broad daylight.”

Espio: “There’s still plenty of shadows from the cliffs, and I know you can just make yourself a shadow.”

Sly: “Yeah. Well, time to get sightseeing, and thieving.”

*After a lot of running from dash panels and twisty roads.*

Sly clutches his head, which has the ‘Dizzy’ stars floating around: “WHOA!!! God… that was really fast…”

Espio chuckles: “It’s a nice workout for the legs.”

Sonic, over the binocucom: “Sounds like you guys are having fun over there.”

Sly: “Yeah… minus the sore legs and spun head.”

*Near the end of the act, on the bridge.*

Sly: “Hmmm… no enemies.”

Espio: “Is that a bad sign?”

Sly: “Since this is General Tsao we are after? Yeah. This is leading to a trap.”

General Tsao, over a speaker as enemies start appearing from the ends of the bridges: “Stupid Cooper and Gang! You are trespassing on my property! Prepare to die by my forces!”

Espio: “We’re surrounded.”

Sly: “Not quite. Looks like we’re going swimming.”

*The player jumps off and lands on an island below to end the act.*

---

Dragon Road Zone Act 2: Sonic and Dimitri hydroplane and swim across the Dragon Boat river channel in an attempt to find a sneaky way in and get the drop on General Tsao. Thankfully, Sonic can’t drown here and will just end up under the water, where there some rings for lucky lookers, but he’ll have to find a new landmass to hydroplane on again. The act ends when they find the fishing area for Chun-nan.

*At the start.*

Dimitri: “Finally! Some water I can take a dip in. Now so swift and agile like a fish!”

Sonic: “I hope you can keep up with me when I hydroplane across the water.”

Dimitri: “I can keep up. I got speed, bro. I aint no slowpoke.”

*When passing by some Dragon Boats.*

General Tsao, on loudspeakers: “Be on the lookout for the Cooper gang and any friends of theirs. Don’t think of being a hero.”

General Tsao: “In fact, I am offering to spare the life of whoever brings me the head of Cooper, dead!”

General Tsao: “Also, all women in Chun-nan are forced to attend to a wedding ceremony to be entered into marriage to me!! Anyone who disobeys or abets to hiding will be killed instantly!”

---

Dragon Road Zone Act 3: For Bentley and Vector, night has fallen as they trek their way to the main village itself. Unfortunately, General Tsao has brought his hopping, exploding Mantis Vampires to act as an extra guard to any trespassers. And even worse, his dark magic influence seems to have awoken the Gaia forces, and they’re prowling around too, though they seem to just be attacking anything that’s passing by (I mean, how would you like it if someone just brought their dead to your land?). Bentley and Vector will have to keep their wits and strength together to fight their way up the cliffs and into Chun-nan itself. The act ends when they reach a familiar night temple…

*At the start.*

Vector: *Sniffs* “Mmm, fishing village. Delicious. I believe we are at the lowest point in Chun-nan.”

Bentley: “So we’re going to have to follow the cliffs up to the village itself?”

Vector: “Yeah. It’s quite a beautiful night.”

Bentley: “There certainly is a beauty here… but something worries me, and I can’t put a finger on it.”

*When they enter an open space, Mantis Vampires appear first…*

Bentley: “Whoa!?! General Tsao brought his hopping vampire?! This is going to be way harder than we thought!”

*...Soon followed by Dark Gaia forces.*

Vector: “Oh, no! Not the Dark Gaia force too! Those monsters are even harder to kill than Eggman’s robots!”

*Thankfully, they both start fighting each other that culminates in defeated Mantis Vampires, then defeated Dark Gaia minions once the corpses explode.*

Bentley and Vector: “Huh?”

Tails, over the binocucom: “I think I can answer why, but first, is General Tsao’s vampires brought by dark magic?”

Sly, over the binocucom: “Yeah, they’re his past servants weaved with dark magic to be his loyal force.”

Tails, over the binocucom: “Hah, he’s a fool! Both his vampires and the Dark Gaia forces are trying to occupy the same magical space, but since the Dark Gaia were here first, they’re attacking the foreign entities from entering their home! This is the perfect distraction to get by!”

Bentley: “Nice. I see General Tsao didn’t think too far ahead in his plans. He’s brazen, but dumb, and dumb won out here.”

Vector: “Still, we better be careful when a victor emerges. We’ll have to fight what’s left to get by.”

*Once in Chun-nan proper.*

Vector: “We’re in Chun-nan village now. Where is General Tsao?”

Bentley: “I am calculating that he might be in that temple?”

Vector: “The Gaia Temple… yeah, that’s a good stronghold.”

---

Dragon Road Zone Act 4 (BOSS): Rouge, Amy, Blaze, Marine, and Carmelita arrive outside the Gaia Temple, where General Tsao has cockily made his stand…

General Tsao sees the ladies come his way. “What the? Where the hell are Cooper and his gang?”

Carmelita: “They decided to help on the villagers, and they thought it was a good idea to send the girls to fight you.”

General Tsao: “Hah! You girls dare to challenge me? You pathetic women are too wimpy to even be able to damage me! Go back home and call the men over, who are looking just as pathetic for letting the females fight.”

Rouge: “No! You’re going to fight us!”

Amy: “We’re not as weak as you think we are!”

Blaze: “Let’s see you call us weak when we burn you!”

Marine: “Argh, this fool is too crazy. Even ladies make good Cap’ts!”

Carmelita: “Besides, it was Sly’s idea to have you fight us, just to piss you off. And I specifically remember making fried chicken out of you when you ‘married’ me, thanks to Sly.”

General Tsao: “Grr… it still burns... Fair enough. Prepare to die, worthless women!”

Boss: General Tsao

General Tsao is just as dangerous as he was before, what with his kicks and his spike shield, and magical dragon heads, and his undead Mantises trying to pull you into the ground. He’s going to go all out on you, and there’s no bamboo to save your life. But, then again, when you have Rouge’s flight and kicks, Amy’s hammer, Blaze’s flame aura, Marine’s hydrokinesis and Carmelita’s shock pistol, General Tsao may just have met his match… or so you’d think…

*Once ‘defeated’*

Carmelita: “You better give up, Tsao, before we do more than just rustle your feathers.”

General Tsao: “Grr… you ladies are a bit more powerful than I expected… but let’s see how you are…” *He jumps down to the river below, but then comes back up on a Clockwerk bird that looks to be a mix of his dragon from Sly 3 and Clockwerk birds from before.* “... My Dragon Clockwerk!”

*He flies into the air, and just starts attacking the village with fire.*

--

*Meanwhile*

*Sonic and Cream have entered the inner sanctum of the Gaia Temple.*

Cream: “Why have you taken me in here, Sonic?”

Sonic: “So you talk to somebody to provide extra help to our friends outside. Hey, Chip!”

*A small green ball appears from the back wall, then approaches them. In a flash, it turns into a ghostly image of a friend named Chip.*

Chip: “Oh! Hey, Sonic! Long time no see! Well, since you defeated Eggman in that orange bandicoot’s world whose name escapes me at the moment.”

Sonic: “It was Crash, but that’s not important. We need some help to defeat someone outside the Temple.”

Chip: “Ah… that General Tsao that the locals have been mentioning in their prayers recently. But I can’t really do much though… least not directly.”

Sonic: “Well, you control the Phoenix here, right?”

Chip: “Again, indirectly, but yeah. Why?”

Sonic: “Perhaps Cream might be able to control it?”

Cream: “Oh? Me?”

Chip: “Hmmm… I do sense that happy, bubbly, pure of heartness in her. Maybe you’re right, Sonic!”

*Chip calls the Phoenix, which appears in a burst of flames.*

Sonic: “Go ahead, Cream. Say hi to it. I fully believe you’ll be okay.”

Cream: “Okay…”

*Cream walks up to the Phoenix, which takes notice of her by dropping its head down to examine her. After a couple seconds, the Phoenix drops the flames surrounding it, showing it respects Cream, and even drops its head further enough that Cream can pat and scratch its chin. The Phoenix chirps to the affection.*

Chip: “Whoa! How did you know, Sonic?!”

Sonic: “Well, if the Chao like her, it doesn’t seem like much of a stretch any beast would like and be tamed by her.”

Chip: “Ah… hmmm… so that means your going to let Cream take the Phoenix out to eliminate General Tsao?”

Sonic: “If that’s alright, Chip.”

Chip: “Well, it’s indirect help… and she’s definitely going to take good care of it… ah, go ahead, Cream. He’s yours whenever you visit Chun-nan.”

Cream: “Thank you, Mr. Chip!”

Chip: “Heh, don’t mention it. Well, I better get back. Just return him once your done. Back to the ether with Dark Gaia.” *In the same green flash, he returns to a green ball and goes back into the temple wall.*

Sonic: “Okay, Cream, go get General Tsao!”

Cream: “You got it!”

--

*Soon, Cream gets the Phoenix flying after the Dragon Clockwerk as Sonic rejoins the girls.*

Blaze: *Gasp* “The Phoenix… but how? Not many are allowed to see the gods.”

Sonic: “I had an in with Chip. And guess who’s controlling it?”

*The Phoenix flies by and a faint voice of Cream can be heard saying hi to them.*

Amy: “Wait, Cream is controlling that thing? That’s dangerous!”

Sonic: “The Phoenix likes her. Even wanted to be petted by Cream.”

Blaze stammers: “W-what?! L-likes her?! I-i-i…”

Amy: “Well, she is a pretty sweet girl. Guess even gods can tell a good caretaker from the bad and neutral.”

Blaze: “I-i-I suppose…” *In thought: “She’s very lucky.” *

Sonic: “Well, let’s watch the show, heh he.”

Boss: Dragon Clockwerk

With a little help from Chip, Cream’s good hearted nature has awoken both him and the Phoenix that resides here. With his blessing, Cream is allowed to jump on and control the bird as they fly into the sky and take out General Tsao’s Dragon Clockwerk. Since the bird is literally on fire, just contact will damage the Clockwerk already, though it may not be smart to stay too close as it can still use its claws to return damage back. Of course, you could use the Phoenix’s ranged quill missiles to do greater damage, but that can only be used so many times until it needs recharging. The dumb Dragon Clockwerk still spits fireballs, which can be used to both heal and restock the Phoenix’s quills, though the fireballs still have momentum enough to push you back a bit. Just keep on the attack and General Tsao will soon be stopped for good.

*Once defeated, the Dragon Clockwerk crashes and explodes and knocks General Tsao back to the ground, where he is immediately arrested. The Phoenix lands and Cream joins them again.*

Cream: “Yay! The Phoenix and I did it!”

General Tsao, before losing consciousness: “The mighty Tsao… defeated by a little girl… so much shame…”

Carmelita: “You’re a shame already. She’s just rubbing it in your face.”

-----

The Getaway:

Sonic, narrating: “We returned the Phoenix back to Chip, and sent Tsao back where he belonged when Penelope gave some good news.”

Penelope: “Good news, everyone! I’ve figured out where and who the signal is coming from!”

Bentley: “That’s awesome, Penelope! I knew you could do it. Greatest hacking mind right here.”

Penelope: “Aw, shucks… *Ahem.* Any way, I’ll start with the where. It seems to be coming from; drumroll please…”

*Murray does a drumroll on his belly.*

Penelope: “Space! Heh… specifically, from the exosphere!”

Bentley: “Huh? That should be impossible.”

Sonic: “Not quite. I think I know where he is. But, moving on, what about who?”

Penelope: “Using DNA provided by INTERPOL, along with Science, and a healthy dose of Supernatural, I have determined our dead guy to be… Arpeggio!”

Sly: “But he died and was quickly eaten by Clock-La. I saw that.”

Sonic: “Again, it’s possible, and it means a machine of his is better than ever. We better hurry and find Eggman.”

Next Time: It’s time to deal with the big Eggman himself. Quick, to the new and improved Eggman’s Incredible Interstellar Amusement Park!

[sealhaus]

Drew Chameleon and Zhen from memory 👍

[sealhaus]

If nobody’s asked then I guess I should just speak:

My thoughts on kfp 4 so far as someone who’s been so invested in this franchise most of my life to the point where I took 2 autism assessments about it.

Mostly euphoric tbh, mostly because now the weight waiting for it held on my anxiety and heartburn ridden chest is gone. My socks were knocked off but i didn’t have to be hospitalized.

For most of my time in this fandom (or pandom if ur even more insufferable then usual) I’ve been under the assumption that dreamworks doesn’t really care about this franchise while at the same time knowing in my bones they’d make more. For most of that time I was pretty set on just having my own fun with it and that’s still my plan.

I’ve been so detached from the cannon for so long that I’ve entirely accepted that this movie could be garbage, I’ve already coped with that like 3 years ago. So I’ve had a relatively chill reaction.

So far it’s like exactly what I expected from the plot summary for better and for worse.

• I dislike Zhen so far but we’ll see what the writing has in store for her, she could be partially redeemed. Her design is overall lackluster and could really use something to make it more interesting. Her personality reminds me of the betta version of Kyoko before I had her loose her fuckin marbles. I don’t like her much but I also don’t seriously want to rip her apart with my teeth quite yet.

• I’ve never liked the five much, except for tigress, but it’s also kinda weird that they aren’t there. But the reasoning being that they basically ditched Po is hilarious to me. It’s a total copout but. Good for them honestly.

• I LOVE THE CHAMELEON!!!!! SHE LOOKS LIKE A BRONZE VASE AND YZMA HAD A TERRIBLE LITTLE CRACK BABY AND ITS WONDERFUL!!!! Getting ready to defend her with my life, heaven forbid women have hobbies.

• also my husband is coming home from rotting in Gongmen harbor so that’s fucking lovely. I went to bed and cried while hugging my Shen plushie because I’m absolutely deranged so that’s exactly the reaction I wanted.

• overall I don’t really care what happens to Po because I genuinely want to hit him with a car./hj But it seems a little early for this unless we’ve got a big time skip which it seems like is the case, but I still don’t think it’s enough of a timeskip.

• I hope the five get new outfits when they show up for 5 minutes. I just like clothes…

• I hope Shifu says sorry for accidentally ruining his son’s life. I don’t care too much about Tai Lung redemption, but I think he deserves an apology.

• save us Nico Marlet we miss you.

I was fully prepared for this to be a nightmare level shitshow but I don’t think it’s total garbage. At worse I’ll laugh at it with my friends, at best it’s a masterpiece either way I’ll be going into cardiac arrest

I don’t want to completely trash it because it hurts me a little for some reason and I don’t think it deserves it but I’m more then open to some playful mockery.

It did knock my socks off but I didn’t need to be hospitalized. Mostly feeling vindicated because my visions prophesied all of this actually.