#the pussybitvh that i am is gonna ruin it for myself
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I just want to put a knife into my skull
#tw self harm#self harm#yall i had a great day i had new music my best friend made truffles and there#there weRE DOGS AT SCHOOL#but during fucking band two seperate people just had to fucking bring up my worst trigger#anyway ive been thinkimg about what blade im gonna use i used to be a scissors kid but yknow im feeling Spicy and i have a pack of new razor#somewhere in my bathroom and i know exactly where im gonna do it and i feel so fucking worthless bcuz ive been clean almost four years and#the pussybitvh that i am is gonna ruin it for myself#im injured and in so much pain and im so fucking SICK of having to Be Fine because everyome thinks im a liar#im sorry i learned to comparmentalize my pain but only because you are the SAME EXACT PEOPLE THAT MADE ME IN THE FIRST PLACE#i showed up to school with my fucking crutchss and smiled and tried to live my days like my ankle wasnt broken or my wrists sprained and i t#tried so hard to dance around that line quietly unnoticed with my injuries and rveryone made fun of me and ditched me you even turned my fuc#king trachers against me you were so loud wih your ‘kats a hypochondriac’ bullshit so thanks for that overlying fear that sebds me spiraling#down so fast becaude it makes me think of middle school and i tried so hard to kms in middle school yall!! i tried i rly did i tried to do#it for yall beause you wanted me to do it so badly and ykmow what? i did too#and now my ankle is probably broken but its fine!! :) kats fine kat is always fine bescude shes fun and exciting and doesnt talk about traum#brcause you domt ewnt to hewr it you domt want to know katrina the child abuse victim who Loves it when u make hurricane jokes god ur funny#its fine vecaude i played my fucking windchile part in band and there are :) no :) unimportant :) parts ;) but im sure youll br glad to be#youll be tid of me spon enoigh ylu womt have to deal with me ruining everythijg ee do god#IVE WORKED SO HARD FOR SO LONG TO LEARN WHEN AND HOW TO VOCALIZE MY PAIN BUT YOU MAIE ME FEEL LIKE SHIT WHEN I DO#whatever lmao#lms if u read
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