#the psych ward traffic is gonna go up

[an-actual-attack-helicopter]

me and many of my friends have been having suicidal thoughts today. they elected a man that makes trans children want to kill themselves. he literally makes kids want to die. think about that.

[sam-and-dean-codependency]

Of Car Accidents and Second Chances

Relationship(s): Jody Mills & Sam Winchester

Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe- Canon Divergence, Season 8, Post-Purgatory, Disabled Sam Winchester, Paralyzed Sam Winchester, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt No Comfort, Jody POV

Summary:

What if Sam hadn't hit a dog? What if hitting something else made him quit hunting? What if Dean still hated him for it?

A/N: written for @febuwhump 2024 Prompt 6: "You lied to me"

A/N 2: I may or may not continue this idea at some point. I don't have anything currently so I'm going to leave it as "complete" for now but if I get an idea you'll see me again

----------

It was just another day in Sioux Falls. Nothing more intense than a few traffic stops and a runaway kid that was actually at a late Mathletes practice with a dead phone. Honestly, she was almost glad for a hunt when she saw Sam’s name on her caller ID. She was getting a little bored and while monsters weren’t her favorite pastime, they’d do in a pinch. “Hey, Sam. What’s up? Anything interesting headed my way?”

“Uh… Hi, Jody….” Sam sighed. “Uh, nothing headed your way that I know of. I’m…. I’m calling because I… I need a place to stay for a while.”

Something in Sam’s voice sounded off. She knew he hadn’t exactly had a lot to be happy about recently, but she’d never heard him sound so…defeated. Then again, they’d seen a lot of loss recently. Bobby was a big one, but to follow that up with Dean…. She cleared her throat and tried to keep her tone light. “Oh! Okay. Yeah, sure. You know you can come by anytime. When will you be in town?”

“Uh… About that… I-I’m gonna need a ride. The car- It got totaled. I have it in a shop right now but it’s gonna be a while before they fix it. And… I’m not really able to drive right now.”

That was definitely strange. Sam loved that car almost as much as Dean did. For something to happen to it…. Sam must really be in a bad place. “Oh. Okay. Yeah, I can come get you. I have vacation time to burn anyway. Where are you?”

“Saint James Memorial Hospital,” Sam whispered. “Boerne, Texas.”

Jody made a quick note to look up the address later. “Alright. I’ve gotta settle some things here but I can be there in two days. Is that okay?”

She heard Sam speaking with someone else on the other end of the line for a few moments. “Yeah. Yeah two days is fine,” he said. “Thanks, Jody. I-I really appreciate this.”

“Yeah, no problem,” she said, a small smile on her face. “I’ll see you in a couple days.”

—-----------

Jody wasn’t expecting much when she arrived at the hospital to pick up Sam. Part of her expected him to be waiting outside, eager to go check on the precious impala (which she’d rented a trailer to transport in case it wasn’t road ready yet). At the very least, she expected Sam to be packed up and helping the nurses clear out his room.

She was not expecting the nurse at the front desk to direct her to the psych ward. She wasn’t expecting the nurse at the visitor desk to drop her smile when Jody mentioned Sam’s name either.

“I’m just glad someone came for him,” she said as she led Jody back to his room. “We’d love to keep him here but… Well, we are still a business and his insurance only covers so much and the rest of his money went to fixing that car of his, not that he can use it any more….”

“Right…” Jody glanced at the blank walls and the metal doors they passed, trying to shove down the distinct feeling of imprisonment. “What is his condition, exactly? He wasn’t very clear on the phone…”

“Well, to put things mildly, he’s a mess. He was first admitted because of a bad car crash. Honestly, it’s a bit of a miracle that he even survived it; his car nearly didn’t. I’m surprised he didn’t scrap it but…he’s attached.” The nurse cleared her throat. “Anyway, he survived the accident but he’s paralyzed from the waist down. Unfortunate but he’s lucky considering the severity of his injuries. He had a few other broken bones that have healed since he came in but he was brought to us soon after he was taken out of the ICU because…. Well, the doctor didn’t like the look of his psych evaluation. I can't tell you what the notes said- patient confidentiality- but… Well saying he's depressed would be an understatement. We’ve been doing what we can for him but he’s not cooperative beyond the medication and that can only do so much. Here we are….” The nurse opened a door toward the end of the hallway. “Mr. Wesson? Your friend came to pick you up….”

Jody glanced around the nurse into the room and stopped still.

She could’ve sworn the doorway she was standing in was a portal to another dimension. Sam, who she was used to seeing stand tall and strong, was slumped in a wheelchair. He stared blankly out of the window, hands idly toying with the edge of the blanket covering his lap.

“You can take your time, but he does need to be out of here by the end of the day. His things are already packed so all you need to do is check him out. The doctor will probably have some recommendations for further treatment before you go. Take your time.” With that, the nurse left them alone.

Jody took a deep breath, shaking away her nerves. Whatever had happened to Sam, whatever was currently happening to Sam, wasn’t important. He was her friend and he’d asked for help. She was damn well going to give him some. 

“Hey, Sam…” Jody cautiously approached him. “Are you ready to go? I was thinking we could get the car, grab something to eat, and maybe find a motel to crash in for the night and head back to Sioux Falls in the morning.” She tried to keep her tone light despite the situation.

Sam slowly turned to look at her. His eyes looked glazed over and dull, like the world had ended and he didn’t care. In a way, it had, she supposed. “...Yeah. Let’s just go,” he murmured.

—------------------

Checking out was a smoother process than expected. There were some papers to sign and they had to sit in with the doctor for recommendations but Jody was wheeling Sam out of there in under an hour.

“Do you want to get something to eat?” Jody offered. “I saw a diner on my way into town that serves breakfast all day. I could go for pancakes.” 

“I’m not hungry,” Sam muttered.

“Well, you still need to eat,” she said. “Besides, we need to wait for the auto shop to open so we can get the car towed up to Sioux Falls. And we need to talk about how we’re gonna do all this.”

“You mean how you’re gonna manage dealing with a cripple-”

“Sam Winchester, do not put words in my mouth.” Jody stopped by the passenger side of her truck and walked around the chair to look Sam in the eye. “Look, I’m not going to sugarcoat this and pretend it’s going to be easy for either of us. It’s going to be a huge adjustment and we’re both going to struggle. But you wouldn’t have called me if you really thought I wasn’t willing to put in the work to help you, and that’s what I’m going to do. So we’re gonna go to that diner, we’re both going to eat a stack of flapjacks, then we’re gonna go get your car and move everything up to my house and then we’ll start getting you settled into this new lifestyle. And we’re probably gonna fight and say a lot of things we don’t mean along the way but in the end we’ll figure it out. Alright?”

Sam stared at her with his mouth hanging open for a few moments. Then, he slowly closed it and nodded. “Alright,” he said in a quiet voice.

“Alright.” She bent down for a hug. “I know this is really rough on you,” she said softly, “but you’re one of the strongest people I know. Needing help doesn’t make you weaker, okay?”

“Okay.” Sam hugged her back. “You’re probably gonna have to remind me of that.”

“Don’t you worry, I will.”

—-----------

Jody knew having Sam move in was going to be an adjustment. She knew she’d have to get some work done to make the place more accommodating and she was going to have to work his therapy appointments into her own schedule since she’d be driving him. She knew Sam was going to have a rough time getting used to his limitations. She knew all this going into it.

Knowing didn’t make it any easier to deal with reality.

It was easy enough to get some renovations made and schedule appointments. It was easy enough to adjust her budget to accommodate two people. Well, maybe not easy per se. But much easier than it was dealing with Sam’s stubborn refusal to accept his new limits.

When Jody heard the crash from the living room, she knew exactly what she’d find there.

Sam had fallen to the floor, taking a few of the books from her shelf with him. Given that the gaps were higher than he should’ve been able to reach, it wasn’t hard to guess what had happened. “Sam, I could’ve gotten the book for you,” she said, getting down to help him back into his wheelchair.

“I thought I could get it,” he muttered, refusing to meet her eyes.

“I can see that.” She sighed. “Sam, I know you’re not used to this but… You need to learn to ask for help. I can-”

“I know you can. I know,” he snapped. “But you’re gonna have to go back to the office eventually and I’m going to have to figure out how to do some things on my own!”

“Well I don’t feel comfortable going back until I know that you won’t hurt yourself trying to do something you can’t!”

Sam flinched at her words and she regretted how she said it. “Sam….” She sat down on the couch in front of him. “We need to figure this out. I’m gonna have to go back to work eventually, yes. But I’m worried about you. I don’t want to come home and find out you’ve been stuck on the floor for hours because you fell and couldn’t get to a phone. And this being the fifth time I’ve had to pick you up this week isn’t exactly easing my concerns.”

Sam sighed. “I know. I know. I’m just- There are things I can do and there are things I can’t do. And I know I can’t do as much as I’m used to but I can do more than you let me. Like, I can cook. I can do some cleaning. I can take the trash to the curb. And I need to do something, Jody. I can’t just sit around all day like some moocher.”

She nodded. She could see where Sam was coming from. Maybe she had been babying him a bit. “Okay. So you need something to do with your time, especially when I’m not here. What would you want to do?”

Sam thought silently for a few moments. “Well…. Bobby’s not here anymore. And there’s a lot of hunters that need help from someone like him. If I could get all his stuff in one place and set up a phone line like he had….”

Jody nodded. “Okay. Well, if that’s something you want, we can work on that. You can tell me where he stashed his books and we can work on getting you a set up. We could call those contractors back and finish up the basement into an office for you. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind installing a chair lift too.”

“Jody, you don’t have to-”

“Sam, this is your home too.” She reached over and put a hand on his knee. “I want you to be comfortable here. If going on a cross country road trip for a bunch of dusty old books and spending half my retirement fund on a place to put them will make you comfortable, I’ll do it. But I’m going to need you to promise me that you won’t overdo it. I’m not above telling on you to your therapist.”

Sam put his hand over hers and graced her with a small smile. “Yeah. I can promise that.”

She matched his smile. “Great. You make me a list of books and I’ll call the contractor for a quote.”

—------------

Almost a year after Jody brought Sam home, it felt like things were finally settling down. Sam had his office space with a government agency phone bank Jody pretended not to know about and a library of books he combed through for hours. He also had about ten library cards he used to get materials he didn’t already have in-house and Jody was more than happy to pick them up for him on her way home. He had an exercise routine he (mostly) stuck to and he “graduated” from his recommended counseling a couple of months ago. They’d even managed to get the impala fixed up. Sometimes Sam would go out and just sit in the passenger seat and Joyd would pretend she didn't notice.

And Jody liked having him around. As much as she was used to living in an empty house, it was nice having someone else to cook for and watch movies with. As tough as it was to drag him up from the basement some nights, she was glad to have him here and happy.

And then one day Sam’s phone rang while Jody was brewing coffee. He must’ve forgotten it in his rush to get downstairs to work on his newest research request. It was an unknown number and although she shouldn’t, she figured she’d get through the spam call on her way down there.

“This is Sam’s phone, but he doesn’t have a car so he can’t talk about an extended warranty.”

“Jody?” a gruff, harsh, but very familiar voice answers. “Is that you?”

“Dean?” Jody stopped in her tracks; he never thought she’d hear that voice again. “Dean, where are you? What-”

“I’m in Indiana,” Dean said. “I’m back, how it happened isn’t important. Where’s Sam? Why didn’t he answer his phone?”

Jody glanced down at the basement and turned around. “Uh, he’s in the bathroom right now. Why-”

“So he’s staying with you? Great. I’ll be there in the morning.”

“Wait, Dean! Before you come, you should know that Sam-”

“What? Hasn’t been hunting? I figured. Don’t worry, I’ll kick his ass back into gear.”

“No, he’s-”

He hung up before she could even try to explain. She stared at the silent phone in her hand dumbly.

What the hell was she going to tell Sam?

—---------

At most, it was going to take Dean half a day to get to them. That was assuming it took him time to find a car and he drove the speed limit.

Maybe that was why Sam didn’t bother going into his office the next day. Not that he was telling Jody anything. He’d spent most of the time after he heard about that phone call trying to get back in touch with Dean, but hit a dead end once they figured out the call was from a payphone.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to tell Dean about… you,” Jody said after about 10 minutes of neither of them drinking coffee while they waited.

“It’s not your fault he hung up,” Sam muttered. It was the first thing he’d said all morning.

“Still, I-”

“It’s fine, Jody.” Sam fiddled with a stray thread from the padding on his wheelchair. “Whatever happens happens. Dean’s gonna flip out, not know how to deal with this, probably go get shitfaced at a local bar, and come back tomorrow morning and try to pretend this isn’t happening. Then he’s gonna find a case, get in his car, and we’ll hear from him again in a few months.”

Jody wanted to argue with him, tell him that Dean would stick by Sam’s side no matter what and this wouldn’t be a roadblock for their relationship after everything they’d been through. But she knew Sam wouldn’t hear it; not until Dean proved him wrong. 

After another half hour of awkward silence, they heard a car pull into the driveway. A quick look out the window confirmed it was Dean. Jody gave Sam a sympathetic look and went to the front door to run interference. 

Dean banged on the door. “Sam? Come on out, we gotta go!”

Jody answered with as much of a smile as she could muster. “Dean, good to see you. Listen, before you-”

“Good to see you too, Jody. Where’s Sam?” He pushed past her before she could say anything else. “Sam? Come on, we-”

He stopped still in the archway to the living area, right where he would be able to see Sam in his chair. Jody sighed, facepalming.

Dean turned his head and glared at her. “What the hell is this?”

“This is what I’ve been trying to tell you about. Sam-”

“You lied to me,” Dean snarled.

Jody crossed her arms. “I most certainly did not.”

“You said Sam just wasn’t hunting!”

“I didn’t say that, you said that. I didn’t say anything because you wouldn’t let me!”

“I’m right here,” Sam muttered.

“Not now,” Dean snapped, not taking his eyes off Jody. “What the hell happened?”

“There was a car accident,” Jody explained. “A bad one. We’re lucky Sam survived at all, let alone that we were able to fix the damn thing.”

“So, what, he’s just been moping in a chair for the last year?”

“Dean, he’s paralyzed from the waist down. The doctors did what they could to keep him alive but that’s it. What did you expect him to do, push himself to find a non-existent cure so he’d be ready when you came back- which we didn’t even know would happen?!”

“I expected him to at least look for me!”

“Again, right here.”

“Dean, you have no idea what this past year has been like for him!” Jody fumed. “Maybe you should just be grateful that you came back to having a brother at all.”

Dean grit his teeth. Finally, he broke eye contact with Jody and looked at Sam. “How close did you get?”

“To what?” Sam asked.

“To finding me and busting me out of that hellhole. How close did you get?”

Sam sighed. “Dean…. It’s been a rough year. I did try but I hit a dead end. And then the crash….” He shook his head. “I- We made a deal. No more bending reality, no more breaking the rules, because it always comes back to bite us. After the crash…. I was just trying to put my life together.”

“So you gave up.” Dean scoffed. “Of course you did.”

“Dean-”

“I don’t wanna hear it!” Dean turned back to Jody. “You said you fixed the car? Where’re the keys?”

Jody balked. “Dean-”

“Keys. Where are they?”

“Here.” Sam pulled the keys out of his pocket, jingling them a little. “We just had the oil changed too. She’s running as good as ever.”

Dean snatched the keys out of his hand with a scowl and left, almost knocking Jody off of her feet on the way out. WIthin minutes, the impala was screeching out of her garage and down the street.

“I have work to do,” Sam said suddenly, breaking the imposing silence.

“Sam, wait-”

He brushed her off, wheeling toward his office. “Can’t. Garth found something he’s never seen before and he needs to kill it before it kills anyone else.”

“But-”

“I’ll see you at dinner, Jody.” He sped down the hallway and Jody flinched when the door to the basement slammed shut.

She sighed. “That could’ve gone better,” she muttered to herself, cleaning up Sam’s abandoned coffee mug. She had half a mind to hunt Dean down and drag him back for a proper conversation about all this.

But Sam needed her here more, so instead she got out her mom’s old cookbook and looked up a comfort food recipe for dinner.

[slightlyaboveaverageiq]

Connor and the Brat {Part 12}

It was deathly silent in the car and Connor didn’t like it one bit. Brat had barely said one word to him once he had gotten to the hospital and signed all of the necessary paperwork. She grabbed her things and basically ran past him and out to the car worrying not only Connor but the rest of the Med staff as well. Had they let her leave too soon? Will urged Connor to text him and Natalie when he had Brat settled and he promised to do so before running after her. Even now Connor dared to glance at her and even he wasn’t sure this was the right call having her go with him. Her face showed no emotion but her body was tense and rigid and if she tried to get any further away from him she would be sitting in the road.

“Can you stop looking at me like that please?” Connor’s not sure what he was expecting but considering he had been staring at Brat like she was going to jump into oncoming traffic for the last two minutes he probably should have guessed she would be snippy with him. Still it hurt, he had proven time and time again he cared for her and just when he thought they were on good terms again she went and acted bitchy towards him.

“Not when you look like you want to hurl yourself into oncoming traffic, no I can’t.” She threw her hands up in the air exasperatedly and Connor momentarily thought maybe he had blown things out of proportion. But quickly put that thought aside. It wasn’t just him that thought something was off with Ravenna, Will and Natalie both had commented on it while Ava just shrugged it off and suggested everyone mind their business and she would tell people when she was ready.

“I just slept like shit last night and I was ready to leave because I really didn’t want to be in the loony bin any longer and then everyone whispers and says I’m still crazy but I just want to leave and sleep. Sorry that’s I’m a little fucking irritated with everyone right now.” Okay so maybe Connor had blown things out of proportion and he should have just listened to Ava. He sighed and sat a hand on Brats knee and to his surprise she didn’t knock him away but curled her hand around his.

“I’m sorry Brat, no one meant to make you uncomfortable. We’re all just nervous because this is your first day home and we want you to have a good day.” She gave him a small reassuring smile as he pulled into the parking garage for his condo and nodded her head.

“I know but you don’t have to treat me with kid gloves and watch me like you’re worried I’m gonna slit my throat every five seconds. It makes me feel like I’m still in the psych ward.” He winced when she said it like that but he supposed she had a point they were all still watching her like she was a psych patient and he didn’t want her to feel like she was one at all, he wanted her to feel like her normal self, a functioning member of society.

“We’ll come on in then so I can show you your room. I had Ava decorate it because I had a feeling she would know your style more than I did.” She smiled at him and grabbed the last of her bags following along after him and waiting as he punched the code to get in the building. They got into the elevator and rode up to his floor and she waited as he unlocked his front door. “Before I forget.” He added as he placed a key into her hand. The bags were forgotten and he led her down the hallway to her room.

“Oh it’s beautiful, I love the candles.” Connor smiled pleased that she liked her room, and pleased that she liked the candles Ava said were too medieval for her room.

“The candles were the only say I had, Ava picked everything else out. I’ll leave you to settle your things in. You can come find me in the living room when you’re done.” Brat nodded and Connor watched her for a few more seconds before shutting the bedroom door and pulling his phone out to text Will like he had promised.

Connor- Talked with Brat, she was just stressed and tired, seems to love new bedroom

Will- Good to hear, Nat was really worried about her. Wanna get a drink tonight?

Connor read Will’s message and wondered if it would be irresponsible to leave Brat alone on her first night home, then again he supposed she could always come with him. He bit his lip and walked down the hallway knocking on Brats door and waiting for an answer before entering. She was putting her clothes away still and he tried to ignore the fact she had paused mid putting away and was currently holding her lacy underwear in the air. She seemed to notice she was doing so and dropped them quickly blushing slightly at him.

“What’s up?” Connor sat down on her bed and cleared his throat trying to get rid of how dry it had gotten saying the thin material dangling in her fingers.

“Will was wanting to go for drinks tonight, do you feel like company?” He could tell just be her facial features going out to a crowded bar was the last thing she wanted to do.

“I really just wanna stay in and be lazy, but you should go if you want to. I don’t want to keep you from your friends.” Connor considered this, it could be a well disguised trick and maybe Brat was planning on doing something when he was gone, maybe this was her plan all along.

“What if I have Ava come over?” But Brat shook her head at him.

“She talked Sarah into getting dinner tonight, really I’ll be fine on my own.” Brat looked earnest and he couldn’t see any signs of deception on her face so Connor gave in with a resigned sigh.

“Alright I’ll go out with Will.” He stood and left Brat to finish unpacking her things in peace and to text Will back.

Connor- One drink but then I have to get back to Brat

Will- Ava was right

Connor- I will end both of you right now

Will- 😂😂😂 Just meet me, Nat, Jay, Hayley, April and Maggie and Mollys at 8 stud.

Connor rolled his eyes and tossed his phone towards the couch. He really hated his friends sometimes but they weren’t wrong, he absolutely wanted Brat and it was becoming a problem.

[words-after-midnight]

Drafty, but I had a lot of fun with this one (cw: setting is an inpatient psychiatric ward):

I had plans for Christmas Eve. Mostly the same things I do every year, other than the fact that my mom isn't here to join in on the festivities. Going out for brunch with Isabelle, marathoning Christmas movies with my sister, forcing myself to sit through midnight mass with my dad and Farlane, opening one gift each by the tree with hot chocolates in the wee hours. It's not much, but it's my routine. And this may come as a shock, but no part of my Christmas Eve routine involves sitting in a hospital room in the psych ward, listening to Jeff Fucking Somers rambling to my friend about how he’s definitely buying a house in two months.

“Yeah, we’re already in touch with the owners,” he says in that infuriatingly nonchalant tone of his. The one dripping in polite Southern cockiness. After over five years of knowing this asshole against my will, I know it all too well. “Just waiting until I turn eighteen so we can sign the papers.”

“Who’s ‘we’?” asks Daphne, sitting on the edge of his bed. “You make up new parents?”

“Hilarious,” says Jeff. “My uncle’s co-signing. Funny, considering I have probably five times his money.”

I can’t take this anymore. “For fuck sakes, you’re not buying a goddamn house.”

Jeff grins at me. “Says who, huh? You?”

I just shake my head, looking down at my book.

“This the Pinebrook place or the East Mountain place?” Daphne asks.

“Neither," says Jeff with a grin, casually running a hand through his thick, curly blond hair, pulling the locks back from his forehead. "Place we viewed last week in Pittston.”

Daphne raises an eyebrow. “You want to move to Pittston?”

“Don’t discourage him, yeah?” I snap. He responds with an over-exaggerated, mocking glare. I glare back in unadulterated sincerity. He smirks, rolling his eyes. I catch a glimpse of the bright-eyed thirteen-year-old boy I thought was everything I wanted to be the first time I saw him, in Dr. Ross's outpatient waiting room, coming out of his office with Catricia. I can still remember how fascinated I was by him before he opened his mouth and started speaking.  

“Pittston’s nice,” he says, turning his attention back to Daphne. “Away from all the hustle and bustle of the city.”

I snort derisively. “Ah, yes, the stifling intensity of Scranton traffic.”

He ignores me. “Plus, the house is fucking bomb. Old Victorian style, five bedrooms plus a guest. Sick basement.”

“I’m sold,” says Daphne. “Let me know when I can move in.”

“You’re gonna move to Pittston?” I exclaim. “With him?”

Daphne shrugs. “Why not? Beats couch-surfing.”

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[thenightlymirror]

14 hour day. Picked up a woman at the psych ward. It was the anniversary of her 11 year old daughter's funeral. Her nephew had just drown and she was a little too honest with her psychiatrist and got sent to Hell. She was very sedated, and complaining that she had some meat stuck in her teeth. She asked me if I had a toothpick. I did not. We had about a two hour drive out to Zion near the Wisconsin border where she lived. After a half-hour, we were still stuck in traffic downtown. Around this time she said, "I think I'm gonna use this staple for a tooth pick." I said, "Ms. F, that's a real bad idea, I don't think you should do that. Please don't do that." Later. "The staple is stuck in my teeth!"

"Is it still stuck there?" Yes. "Does it hurt?" Yes. I pull off the expressway with an hour and a half still to drive. I'm at about Canal and Harrison. I call my dispatch. They ask if she want to go to a hospital. She says, I guess so. They put me on hold to check to see how long an ambulance will take. "I got it!" It's out. "Is it bleeding? Does it still hurt?" A little. I'm fine.

She was okay.

We turned on the radio and played name that tune.

The second song that played was Aerosmith’s “Dude Looks Like A Lady.”

[worldsfastestpredator-archived]

WHO ARE YOU???

RULES : TAG FOLLOWERS YOU WANT TO KNOW BETTER !

TAGGED BY:  @calvaluna​ TAGGING: @ whoever wants to do it

NAME: Sodium and/or Kiwi STAR SIGN:  Sagittarius  HEIGHT: 5′1 WHAT’S YOUR MIDDLE NAME? One of them is Jean PUT YOUR SPOTIFY ON SHUFFLE. WHAT ARE THE FIRST 10 SONGS THAT POPPED UP?

dont have spotify anymore so im using my amazon music 

Purple Lamborghini [Explicit] - Skrillex & Rick Ross

Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri

Psycho Bitch III [Explicit] - Tech N9ne feat. Hopsin

1+1 - Beyonce

Look Alive, Stay Alive [explicit] - Highly Suspect

Bust Your Windows - Glee Cast Version

Pity Party - Melanie Martinez

Bailando (English Version) - Enrique Iglesias

Tag, You’re It - Melanie Martinez

Viva La Vida - Coldplay

F**k Me Up [Explicit] - Highly Suspect

EVER HAD A POEM OR SONG WRITTEN ABOUT YOU? Not that I can remember

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PLAYED AIR GUITAR? No fucking clue

WHO IS YOUR CELEBRITY CRUSH? Danai Gurira, Chris Evans, Zoe Saldana,  Conan O’Brien, Chris Hemsworth, Gal Gadot, Steven Yeun, Kristen Stewart, Amandla Stenberg (idk bro im just listing people i find attractive) WHAT’S A SOUND YOU HATE; SOUND YOU LOVE?  I love the sound of heavy rain, cats meowing, and the turn of a book page. I hate the sound long high pitched noises and the sound of other human beings eating

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? Sorta? I once saw the shadow of a man walk through my living room and into the room I shared with my mother as a child. It’s kinda stuck with me since I can’t really explain it.

HOW ABOUT ALIENS? Yes. The universe is way too big to only have one planet full of life. 

DO YOU DRIVE? Sadly yes. I’m so tired of driving. My family made it their business to force me to get my permit and learn how to drive at 16. Then they forced me to get my licence at 18.

IF SO, HAVE YOU EVER CRASHED? Yeah. Well, sorta if this is about car crashes. I had once accident where a man hit my car while going around traffic as I was turning. Another instance where I was driving too close to the parked cars (a little intoxicated and emotional) and ended up knocking off my own passenger side mirror. The other car was good though. They had a mirror of steel apparently.

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ?  IT and I still haven’t fucking finished it.

DO YOU LIKE THE SMELL OF GASOLINE? No. Ew. Then again maybe it’s because I had a gas leak before and was constantly smelling it and worried I was gonna eventually explode in the car. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU SAW? Ummm..... Captain Marvel in the theaters. On cable it would be Shrek 3. WHAT’S THE WORST INJURY YOU’VE EVER HAD? Uhhhh... I fell and chipped a bone in my wrist in high school, every now and again it gets out of place still and i have to painfully adjust it until it’s working. That same fall hurt my ankle but I never had it x-rayed because I didn’t want to have the doctors do too much (yeah ik im dumb). I badly burned my stomach on a heater as a child while trying to turn off a light. I also fell on the handle of a bike once and completely forgot how to breathe for a while... It left a circular bruise for other a month and it hurt like a bitch.. Like worse than period cramps on a real bad day.

DO YOU HAVE ANY OBSESSIONS RIGHT NOW?  Roleplaying. Watching CoryxKenson on youtube. Steven Universe. Marvel movies/comics is a big obsession for me. Deadpool is my lord and savior. Horror movies/games. I like scary shit.  Uhh.. cats. Do cats count? I love my cats. Like a lot. They are my children.

DO YOU TEND TO HOLD GRUDGES AGAINST PEOPLE WHO HAVE DONE YOU WRONG? Yes. I’m petty and hold back a lot. Still upset with a boy who threw out all my bday invitations in 6th grade because he didn’t get one. (we weren’t even friends) .. I’m always upset with my toxic ass family but I try to let those go until I can afford to get away. My last “boyfriend” ignored me for like 2 weeks after my grandfather died, then when he finally messaged me all he wrote was “wyd this weekend” and that was the literal end of that relationship. Lesson learned: don’t date people you meet in the psych ward just because you’re at your lowest and they are showing you more affection than any guy ever had. I’m sure there’s more grudges I have, but this is getting really long.

IN A RELATIONSHIP? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no. I barely even have in person friends. But like if someone has a crush on me or something hmu lmao