#the problem child is heeere

[sweet-beezus]

Rinée

A hard-headed apprentice with a preference of using brute force over words. On a good day, she's laid-back and less likely to start causing problems... if you're lucky, anyway.

[einsamerhund]

(This is the mun of @hellspastelangel btw!) <3

How would Hans react to little Adalia always requesting piggy back rides from him, because he is so tall, or wanting to wear his hat for funsies? The Majors daughter gets pretty bored sometimes so she likes to see what Hans is up to! 👀 Would he patient with her because she is a child and is his boss's daughter or secretly annoyed because she is technically a distraction for him?

I like seeing interactions between her and the other members of Millennium since she grows up around them kinda sorta!

AU

“Vati, Vati, VAAAATI!”

The small drumming of shoes came down the floor of the hallway, and soon the youthful and bright eyed Adalia Montana went shooting up into the arms of her father.

“OOF! Hahaha- Und zhere is mein little princess, right on time! Vati missed you, too mein liebling~” Max uttered after the noticeable gut blow his daughter sent him with just a hug. Hans always felt, well, strange around Herr Major when is family was around; He was bizarre, unknown to the Captain with his sweet mannerisms and sharp instincts on love and fatherhood. He was, for a lack of better word, and enigma— a completely different person.

“Und you have no more room for me…?” Mrs. Montana teased before embracing her husband in kind, the small blonde girl excitedly giggling all the while. Seeing her mother and father so happy made Adalia happy without a care in the world. To Hans, that girl was the one true ray of sunshine amongst all of Millennium. It hurt him to see her raised in a world like this.

“Hündchen!”

“Ahh, yes, how could I forget, Hündchen is here, mein Kleines mädchen! He’s going to be coming vith us, und not a moment too so-“

“Max…” came Sophià’s voice, strangely more focused and calm than it had ever been. Causing the Major to stop on a dime like that was something even Hans had never seen. Pushing his glasses up and hoisting Adalia up with a groaned “Heeere ve go!”, Major presented Adalia to Günsche. Babysitting duty was no problem for Hans, but this felt very different.

“Watch over her for ein minuten, Captain! Play Hündchen for her like she likes, you know how she uhh…” in this rare moment, Max seemed lost in his thoughts, flinging a gesturing hand about his face as if flicking something away, and staring far past Hans. Pulling back his hair, Max turned the corner and this began a quite, but easily distinguishable conversation about the major’s ever growing affairs.

Well… where to…?

Though young Adalia seemed confused at first, she immediately wanted on Hans’ back. In her world, she was his steed, and why on earth would he deny her that law? He would softly gallop through the halls of the large office building Major had planted them in that day, making sure the lady was pleased by her excited laughter and tightening grip upon his uniform. Their fun had only begun as Hans took her through each of the floors down to the very bottom!

Well, until he heard a banging sound from down the hall. Turning the corner, he saw that the door to the basement floor of this facility was being barraged, until horror truly sprang loose. From the snapped hinges of the iron door frame came confused and starving things. Men, no, no longer men…

Ghouls…

“Grab zhem, Schnell! Do not let zhem escape zhis building!” The croning voice of Napier wailed to a group of guards that were now apprehensively in pursuit of the now mosh of ghouls that crawled down the hall; Herr Major’s work had begun, and already the defects were proving to be more than his team could handle. And of course, a light and fearful quivering came from behind Hans. Adalia watching on as her day out turned into the worst nightmare.

Before they could even get close to either of them, Hans darted the corner and began a full-on sprint to the third level with young Montana in his arms, not even risking the next floor up being safe from the outbreak in this small building. He shut and locked the door to an office room, sitting down with his back to a desk out of sight. He checked upon Adalia, now coated with blobs of tears that began to stain his coat.

“B-…Bitte… B-Bitte Vaatiiihihihii…!!!”

She was miserable, and by this point, the shouting, stomping, and popping of muffled gunfire proceeded below them. Günsch removed his hat, offering it to the frightened child in her dire moment; as expected, she clutched to it, crinkling the fabric as her fingers turned white. Hans proceeded to hold her close to his broad chest whilst the hurricane of violent barrage came to a slow decline. All that could be heard then was the breathless sobbing of a scared child enduring a living nightmare.

How long could this go… How long does Major think they will endure…?

[franklyshipping]

The Difference 10 Minutes Makes ~ A Markiplier Ego Fanfic

SO I'VE BEEN WANTING TO WRITE A FIC WITH OUR FAVOURITE ARGUMENTATIVE TWINS DAMIEN AND CELINE, SO LET'S GET RIGHT ON IT!

When the body of Darkiplier sleeps, two souls take rest, not one. Two siblings in fact, both alike in dignity, and who keep a weather eye on the consciousness of the form they inhabit as they take their own rest. However tonight, there is conflict afoot. Nothing of the serious sort of course, it was nothing more than the pettiness of a sibling spat wherein love is at the root of it all; well, love and slight desire for smug influence over the other.

'You've attended 75% of the ego meetings Damien, you cannot deny the figures and you know that I have a right to having an equal proportion of involvement as you.'

Damien sighed through his nose as his body sunk into a squishy armchair, running a hand through his hair as the frustration of the discussion started to rise. That's the problem, when both people are suggesting things out of love.

'Yeah, that may be, but you attended 100% of everything when all this first started for god knows how long! I still don't think you've had enough rest Celine....'

Damien tried to implore to his sister, who was currently pacing in their little ''cabin''. I put that in italics since this is not actually a real place, but rather the design of where their souls resided inside Darkiplier when neither of them were in control of the body; aka, when Dark was sleeping. Celine sighed and shook her head, folding her arms as she fixed Damien with an insistent stare.

'It isn't as if that time drained me Damien, I'm not a feeble little girl who needs protection!'

'I know you're not!'

Damien replied in a slightly louder voice...and they both descended into a slightly awkward silence. They knew that the debate was idiotic, but they were both equally as stubborn as one another, which no-one and nothing would change. Damien picked lightly at the fabric of one of his chair's arms, and looked back up at Celine, still imploring. The last thing he wanted was for her to think that he thought she was weak, because it was quite the opposite. Damien knew she was the strongest out of both of them, but in order to keep that way she had to engage in SOME degree of self-care.

'Celine, I know better than anyone how strong you are. It would be completely stupid not to see how your strength keeps our moralities and sanity going....you're the strongest out of the both of us. But that doesn't stop you from still getting tired, I see it Celine, you still need more rest....'

Celine sighed softly through her nose, pursing her lips as her brain whirred. She knew he was only looking out for her, her sweet, innocent soul of a little brother. Celine couldn't deny that so much of her ached for more rest every single day...but if she wasn't there in some form in an emergency, then what would happen? No. No she couldn't risk it. See? Stubborn.

'Damien....I hear you, I really do, but I still have a responsibility to you. As your older sister I cannot just simply let you shoulder everything-'

'Oh heeere we go, you'll never keep that measly 10 minutes between our births out of anything will you?'

Damien groaned and rolled his eyes, slumping in his chair with a huff; that old damned argument, she BARELY counted as an older sibling, they were born on the same day! She just HAPPENED to be the one who popped out first, Damien didn't see why that instantly put her in charge of him all the time. At his, somewhat childish complaint, Celine raised her eyebrows and gave him a warning stare.

'Damien.'

Damien took no heed of course, he was an adult dammit! No degree of scary eyes was going to make him concede. So he rambled on, not angrily though, it was just his repressed immaturity coming out; that thing that happens when words happen before you even think them through. That was what happened...right here....right now.

'You always dig out every childish excuse. Not that it's a surprise, I mean, we both know that you just want to be in the body more so you have more chances to drool over Wilford and his new look.'

There as another silence. This one wasn't an awkward though. This one was electric. Damien's brain had caught up with his mouth, and Celine's brain was still trying to convince itself that those words had ACTUALLY come out of Damien's mouth! What a fucking nerve he had, and what a completely bullshit accusation too! There was no truth to it....none....nope.

'.....if you have any regard for your own self-preservation, then you WILL take that back.'

Now, any sane person would apologise right away and say they didn't mean to make such a rude accusation. Not Damien though, oh no; the bastard was grinning, smugly. This reeeeally took him back to when they were younger, embarrassing Celine was one of the most fun things he did as a child, and it was just as fun now. Seeing Celine with gritted teeth, narrowed eyes, and dare he say it, pink cheeks, just made Damien forget any semblance of sense. He'd gotten to Celine, and that's all that mattered.

'I don't see why, it is the truth after all. Strange though, I always thought you preferred red over pink-'

'ENOUGH!'

Celine interrupted, exclaiming in a similar tone of a mother who has just called you by your first, middle AND last name, just to let you know that you fucked up. Damien realised he fucked up. Especially when Celine stalked over, grabbed him by shirt collar and hauled him from the chair; this was not intended to hurt though, this was simply a throwback to familial rough-housing. And, just like when they were younger, Damien was caught off guard. Pretty soon he was pinned down on his belly on the floor ,with Celine gripping and pinning his wrists at the small of his back. Oh yeah, he fucked up.

'C-Celine I was joking i-it was a joke!'

Celine merely scoffed, I mean, even for Damien that was pretty lame.

'Come now, that sort of excuse never worked when we were children....and it isn't going to work now. Do you remember what I used to do when you were getting too cheeky, little Damien?'

Celine cooed as she looked down at Damien, and smirked when she saw his face turn a wonderful pink. Despite them being twins, throughout much of their childhood she'd always had a good inch of height over him, which she'd always lorded over him, figuratively AND literally. Now, nickname aside, Celine's query also contributed to Damien's blush. He remembered all too well. Before he could formulate a reply however, it was like he'd gone back in time to being eight years old up past his bedtime...and being punished for it.

'A-AH! N-Nohohoho C-Ceheheline nohohohot thihihis!'

One of Celine's hands had initially snuck under his jumper and t-shirt to scratch at one of Damien's bare sides....ahh the nails, he certainly hadn't missed those. He'd started giggling instantly and wriggling about, so Celine decided not to waste time. Using her knees to keep Damien's wrists pinned at the small of his back, she now had both hands and ten nails free to scratch at her brother's exposed sides.

'Ahahahaw, still a ticklish little baby hmm? Why am I not surprised....'

Celine smirked as she teased....oh how she'd missed wrecking him like this. Damien tried to hide his face in the rug as embarrassment started overtaking his system, and his bouncy giggles were getting louder and louder too.

'IHIhihi ahaham nahat AHA BAHABYYY!'

Damien kicked his legs, as if subconsciously trying to emphasise his point, but Celine just kept on cooing and scratching.

'Awwww but you aaare! You were always a sweet baby with sweet tickly siiiides!'

Damien whined as he realised that Celine was bringing out her worst weapon in full force...the baby voice. Being talked to like a baby had always wrecked him in so many ways, simply because the embarrassment fricking consumed the poor guy. On top of that, with Celine deciding to up the intensity and dig into her brother's soft sides, poor Damien was well and truly cackling his head off. 

'NOHOHO OHOHO CEHELIHINE DOHON'T TAHAHALK LIHIKE THAHAT!!'

Celine smiled fondly at the sound of her brother's tender, whiny begs; she just loved how adorable Damien could be, especially when he was laughing like this. She'd loved making him laugh for as long as she could remember, Damien had kept his babyish giggle right into when he was a toddler, and bringing it out when they were young had always warmed Celine right to the core. She let out a giggle of her own now, but it was a malicious one. She resumed gripping his wrists with one hand as he rolled him onto his side, and used her free hand to claw at his belly as she teased.

Don't talk like whaaaat? Don't talk about your wittle tickly sides? Okay Dami, how about your tickly wickly tumtum instead?'

Damien let out a humungous squeal as his cackles came out harder and at a deeper pitch, his diaphragm certainly had its work cut out for it. Needless to say, Damien had quite the ticklish tummy, and now it was the target it spurred Damien to crane his neck and look up at Celine desperately through his mirth.

'AAHHHAHAA NAHAHAT THEHERE! YOHOHOU'RE EHEHEVIHIL!!'

Now, Celine had to admit, that seeing Damien's sweet, pleading puppy eyes was VERY nearly enough to sway her into a merciful mind-set. Those sweet eyes had gotten Damien out of a lot of trouble over the years, they just enhanced his whole demeanour of innocence. Oh....but if only Damien had managed to stop himself from insulting Celine, he might have saved himself from the clawed hand digging into his belly. Alas, no such luck for sweet Damien.

'Evil? Why Damien, you and I both know this is what you deserve. In a way I'm doing you a service with my sisterly discipline....'

Damien's eyes widened....oh hell no. He let out the most indignant noise that was possible amidst his cackles as he exclaimed in defiance of Celine's....oh, what do you call it? Absolute bullshit.

'BUHUHUHULLSHIHIT!'

'Language!'

Celine exclaimed right back with raised brows as she now actually stopped her attack...but Damien knew it wasn't going to last long. As he caught his breath though, Damien couldn't help but giggle at Celine's feigned shock at his swearing....and then his giggling got nervous. Damien knew his sister, and he knew that she was going to use this as an excuse to absolutely destroy him.

'First you accuse me of chasing after Wilford, and now you swear at me too? Perhaps some hysteria will help wash your mouth out!'

Celine growled maliciously, and soon Damien was squeaking and squirming weakly as he was forced back onto his front...and he swore his heart nearly stopped when he felt Celine crawling down over his legs. Then there was an immovable weight on his shins. Then....his shoes and socks were being removed from the equation.

'N-NOHO NO WAIT C-CELINE IT JUST S-SLIPPED OUT!! D-DON'T GET MY FEET PLEASE CELINE PLEASE!'

Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but if it was me tickling Damien right now then I would just crumble at hearing such desperate cries. Celine would do no such thing though, but this was because she KNEW her brother; she knew his limits better than anyone on the planet, so she knew he still had some strength left to handle what she was going to give him. Besides, as the elder sibling, if it wasn't Celine's job to keep teaching her brother manners, then whose was it?

'Ohhhh but Damien....this is my duty, I really have no choice.'

Celine smirked with diabolical satisfaction....as Damien screamed. Now, there are nails, and then there are Celine's nails. With each one filed to a devilish point, as they scratched up and down Damien's desperately scrunched soles at the speed of light, it was no wonder that Damien sounded like he was literally being tortured.

'AAHAHAHAH NAHAHAHAHA NAHAHAHAAAILS!!!'

Damien's mouth was wide as hysterical laughter poured out of him, and Celine merely giggled at the sound of Damien thumping the floor with his fists insanely. She crooned as she focused her ferocious scratching at the balls of his feet.

'Aren't they so wonderfully sharp? Usually I'd have them a little shorter, and maybe rounded off at the ends....but I think I'll keep them like this for a while.'

All Damien could do was keep on scream-laughing as his face got redder and redder, practically reaching the hue of a beetroot. On top of that, tears were trickling from the corners of his eyes as sweat beaded at his forehead.

'NOHOHOHAHAHA NOHOHOHO CEHEHEHELIHINE!!!'

Celine kept on smirking, kept on scratching, and just kept on teasing.

'Awww, you don't like them? Well they like you....they like you and your tender, ticklish feet so very much....'

Damien wailed and started thrashing like his whole body was being shocked, and honestly it was in a way. Damien's feet were a death spot when it came to tickling anyway, but for them to be tickled by the one person who really KNEW how to tickle them? There was no other tickle sensation like it....especially when those skilled nails reached and scratched under his tender toes relentlessly.

'AAAHAHAHAHAHA STAHAHAHAHAAA!!!'

Celine hummed happily at Damien's incoherency and decided to keep up her current technique for a minute or two; you must remember of course thought that Celine was being most attentive to her brother's state, she knew that he could handle it. After those sweet moments of screeching, wailing, and squealing though, Celine decided to croon for the last time.

'Are you sorry for being so cheeky and rude to me?'

Damien let out a soft sob through his laughter as he nodded, reaching the end of his tether as the incoherency really hit him; he was definitely going to sleep well tonight after all this.

'YEEEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHA!!!'

Celine couldn't help but smile smugly as she finally stopped her onslaught, sliding off of her brother's legs, tilting her head down at him fondly as he panted and gasped. Celine's smile became kinder though as Damien sniffled and giggled residually, wiping his face as he weakly started trying to curl his body up. Celine shuffled close and immediately pulled him into her chest, and immediately felt warmth in her tummy when Damien started to cling to her.

'Shhhhh....shhh Dami I've got you....'

Celine whispered as she tenderly stroked Damien's hair, smiling at how his blush was not dying down, and how it probably wouldn't for about an hour. Damien meanwhile was starting to recover himself, but ended up whispering just because of how fricking exhausted he was from it all.

'....'L-Line....'

Celine felt even more warmth swirling in her stomach now, and smiled bashfully as she recalled all those time on the past. Damien was tired, clinging to her needily and slurring his words because of how tired he was....and he never had enough energy to say her full name....so he shortened it. Celine wiped away the last of Damien's tears as she whispered, constantly soothing him.

'I'm here Dami.....'Line is right here....'

Damien smiled at his sister's gentle voice, and he nestled closer with a light mumble as his eyes started drooping.

'.....m'tired 'Line....'

Celine smiled, still stroking his hair as she watched Damien's eyes flutter shut completely. She carefully maneuvered them both so they were laying on the rug next to the lightly warmth hearth, and Celine whispered more.

'I know....I know. You rest Dami, it's okay, you just rest....'

Damien never stopped smiling as he dropped off to sleep....and for a moment, Celine made a move to get up...but realised that Damien was still clinging to her. Not just cuddling, not just holding...he was honestly clinging to her like she was his lifeline. Celine sighed softly....but felt herself relaxing with Damien's warmth and the hearth's safe crackle surrounding her. Then, as Celine herself dropped off, she finally conceded that maybe.....just maybe....the best way to protect Damien, was to look after herself too.

WOOOOOO HOPE YOU LIKED THIS FIC LEMME KNOW IF YA DID WOOOO LUV YOUS XX

[skadithegoddess]

The Tiny Flame of Hope

Pairing: IvarxReader Rating: Explicit Words: 6,269 (oops) Warnings: Angst, fertility problems, smut, kind of rough sex, someone cuts a tiny line through its hand with a knife. (as usual, tell me if you think a warning needs to be added.)

Notes: It’s finally heeere. Can you believe it? I can’t believe it. Feels good to post something new. I really tried to transmit the emotions into the words, I hope it worked out! Also, I originally wanted this oneshot to be really sad and heartbreaking but I figured that my life was angsty enough sooo, happy ending because they’re the best endings and no one can tell me otherwise. I really wanted to finish this tonight so if it sometimes feels a bit rushed, I’m sorry! And again, sorry for any mistakes (I’m tearing my hair out trying to know when to use the freaking past perfect in a story written in the past tense). Hope this is still enjoyable. 😘

It had been a year, a long year since you married King Ivar and became his Queen. You didn’t marry out of love; in fact, you had never talked to him before the very day. It was a political marriage. Every single one of Ivar’s councilors had advised him to find a suitable woman and marry her to produce an heir and secure his legacy. Your father, a rich and powerful jarl, had offered your hand to his King and you hadn’t had a say in the decision.

Unexpectedly, after long days of building trust and getting to know each other, what was initially a political marriage turned into a healthy and loving union. And you thanked the Gods every day for it. You knew and had witnessed many times his violent and short temper. It had been directed at you at the beginning of your life together, but you learned to deal with it – even had the nerves to talk back and stand up for yourself. If it made him see red at first, he eventually came to enjoy it.

Every piece fell into the right place – all but one.

One year of marriage and never the Gods blessed you with a child. The very reason you became his Queen. It had revolted you at first, to be seen only as a fertile mare, but now the mere thought of being round with Ivar’s child was beginning to be a bittersweet image; you were slowly losing hope and even if Ivar never talked about it, you could see it was hurting him and his feelings. It wasn’t like you never tried – on the contrary; you were both all too eager to get lost into each other anytime and anywhere possible.

And as if the whole situation wasn’t frustrating and hurtful enough already, learning about Hvitserk’s wife Ása’s pregnancy felt like a blazing blade twisting into your heart.  When you had heard the news, joy had filled your heart until you saw the distant look on your husband’s face as he had stared at the flat belly of his sister-in-law. It had been quick, and the happy couple hadn’t seen it. Ivar had quickly recomposed himself and had congratulated his brother.

He had immediately organized a feast in honor of his unborn nephew and, as the night went by and the ale poured, the distant look on Ivar’s face returned. Your mood wasn’t at best either; Hvisterk and Ása were feeding each other, kissing and whispering as they giggled like mad people.

The sight brought a soft smile to your face. You couldn’t be angry with them; you would probably act the same way if you were to fall pregnant. But jealousy was eating your guts and you finally lowered your eyes, finding it more and more difficult to handle their happiness.

It had been only three months since they got married – the Gods obviously favored their marriage and you started to have dark thoughts. Are the Gods angry with me? Am I not worthy of Ivar and his child?

You tired your best to push these thoughts aside and repeated yourself that your time would come. I will be with child.

That night was sleepless. You lay awake, staring at Ivar’s sleepy face and praying to any god who might be listening for a baby of your own flesh and blood.

Two full moons later, the unusual coolness of the sheets beside you woke you up. You frowned and sat up, searching for any trace of your husband in your chamber. A lump started to form in your throat and you hugged the sheets closer to your body when you realized he wasn’t there. That was something he used to do, slipping out of the bed before you had opened an eye, until you had explained how it was making you feel. You preferred for him to wake you, even if the sun wasn’t up yet.

Ignoring the cool air, you stood up and dressed in a warm and heavy dress before taking a few minutes to calm yourself. Then, you put on your Queen’s features – chin up, square shoulders and soft smile – and made your way to the Great Hall.

Ivar was alone, sitting at the main table. His eyes locked on yours the moment you entered the place. You walked towards him, never breaking eye contact as he sucked his fingers clean from the food he was eating with an unreadable expression.

You took a seat next to him, “Ivar,”

“Wife.”

“You didn’t wake me.”

He heaved a deep sigh, “You looked peaceful, I didn’t have the heart to tear you from your sleep.” Even if he tried to hide it, you could hear the fakeness of his words.

“Liar,” You hissed, “Tell me the real reason.”

Ivar huffed and harshly bit into a piece of bread but remained silent.

“You’ve been distant with me since we learned about Ása’s pregnancy.” You murmured, knowing it was a delicate subject. “Being distant won’t get me with child, you know.” You said playfully, your hand reaching for his cheek – only to be stopped as Ivar caught your wrist halfway.

“Nothing will get you with child.” He said emotionless with a blank stare.

His words felt like a punch in the guts. You whispered in disbelief, “What?”

“Use your brain, Y/N. We’ve been trying and trying again. It’s obvious, the Gods don’t want us to have a child together.”

“What do you mean by ‘together’?”

“The Gods have given me everything I wanted. Power, glory, respect from all, and even love,” He smiled sadly, “Why did they bother giving me everything if I can’t pass my legacy to my child? It doesn’t make sense.”

Water started to build behind your eyes. You tore your wrist from his grip as you slowly realized the implication behind his words.

“I need an heir. And I wanted you to be its mother, but it doesn’t work. I don’t understand the motives of the Gods and I tried so many times to come up with a good explanation but there is none. And…” He drifted his gaze away from your face, “I can only see one last solution.”

Your voice shook as you tried to keep your tears at bay, “You want to take a second wife.”

“It’s the only solution.” He stated, building up once again his emotionless face. But you weren’t having it.

You grabbed his face between your hands and forced him to look at you. “You don’t have to do this, Ivar. Give us more time, have faith in me, in us, in the Gods. I will give you an heir! Please, don’t do this.” You furiously shook your head, tears rolling down your cheeks and voice trembling because of the lump in your throat, “I can’t share you with another woman, I can’t watch you give your time and your love to somebody else, I can’t watch you following her to bed at night and hear you make love to her, and I can’t watch you become a father to a baby that is not mine. It will kill me, Ivar.”

You saw his lips twitch, but his eyes remained distant, “I won’t love her, I will only use her to have a child.” He insisted.

You scoffed and threw your arms in disbelief, raising your voice, “It’s impossible, Ivar! Once she becomes pregnant, you will dote on her and you will stay with her most of the time. She will carry your baby, of course you will love her! And I will be reduced in nothing but a taint in your life.” Your face was now soaked. Forcing yourself to take large gulps of air, you wiped the tears with your sleeves.

He was the one now to force you to look at him, gripping beneath your jaw in one hand and spoke through his teeth, “Don’t talk about yourself like that.”

Your voice finally broke and you didn’t have any strength left to scream, “That’s the truth, Ivar. You’re a fool if you think otherwise.”

Ivar released his grip, rolled his neck and fisted his hands on the table. His nostrils flared, cold and harsh tone in his voice, “I need an heir. Everything that I have built can’t be for nothing. I need to secure my legacy with a child of my blood. Don’t you understand? That purpose goes beyond love.”

Another punch in the stomach; you felt yourself becoming sick, “Of course I understand! I want that too, I want a child of our own. I will give it to you, please, I’m asking you again, have faith. Please, Ivar, have faith in me.”

He finally snapped and screamed so loud that everyone in Kattegat could probably hear him, “Stop saying that! I had faith! I was so sure you would be the one to grant me the honor of becoming a father. But we have to face the facts! It doesn’t work. I watched all of my brothers have children of their own. I endured every rumor upon my virility. My enemies are surely plotting my death before I have the chance to hand my kingdom down to my children. No more, I’m done. I married you for one purpose, and we were not able to achieve it. So, I’m changing my tactic.”

A heavy silence fell for what it felt like hours. Ivar was breathing heavily, struggling with his conflicted feelings while you just stared blankly at the main door. You felt drained.  

“And what if it doesn’t work with the other woman?” You asked quietly.

“Then I will accept my fate, as hard as it is. But I need to try. Whatever it takes, I need to try with someone else.”

You nodded to yourself and slowly stood up. “If you want to take another wife, I can’t stop you. You deserve a child, Ivar. I want that for you. I can’t be selfish even if it wrecks my heart. And I’m sure you will be an amazing father.”

He didn’t respond, kept his cold gaze on his plate. But you knew him enough to know it was just a mask; your words struck him right in the heart.

“When you find that lucky woman, I’ll divorce you and leave Kattegat. As I said, there will be only death for me if I stay.”

He violently turned his face, eyes widening, “You can’t.”

“I can, and I will. For my sake. You won’t need me anymore anyway.”

“Y/N, I – ”

“Don’t bother.” You cut him off, shaking your head and quickly walked toward the main door, feeling your tears burning your eyes again.

Ivar roared at the top of his lungs and you heard something break just behind you. Little pieces of the plate he was eating from slid on the floor between your feet as you started to run.

He bellowed when you passed the door, “I forbid it! Do you fucking hear me? I forbid it! You can’t leave me! I won’t let you walk away from me!”

You ran as fast as your body could carry you, tears clouding your vision, until you reached the top of the hill overlooking Kattegat. A cry ripped out of your lungs, anguished and angry, exclaiming your pain in the wind, hoping the Gods would finally take mercy on you and your husband.

During the following weeks, Ivar and you didn’t exchange a word. He tried, when you two were under the thick furs of your bed – the same bed that held so much memories you cherished silently – but you always gave him your back, swatted his hands away and stayed silent until he finally gave up, sadness written all over his face. And even if it hurt you, you could not pass through his wish and quest for another woman.

Due to summer coming soon, Kattegat was quickly becoming the place to be. Peasants, jarls and even kings from other countries gathered in your town, bringing with them their family.

Feasts took place every night in the Great Hall, filled with laughers and music. Everything could have been perfect if it wasn’t for the fathers of great houses introducing their daughters to your husband. Rumors had spread rather quickly of Ivar wanting to take a second wife. Every time a young and beautiful woman bowed before him, wearing her most appealing dress and displaying her most seductive smile, your pride and your heart put up with a bruising hit. Every one of them also paid their respect to you out of duty, but you weren’t a fool and could clearly see the fakeness behind this façade. No one wanted to be the second wife and you were practically sure that their goal was to take your place and become his one and only.

You were forced to watch as Ivar returned their smile and invited them to your table. Forced to watch their hands slightly but not innocently linger on him. Forced to watch as they chatted, shared stories and laughed together.

It went on for three other weeks. You did your best to accomplish your duties as the Queen – forced conversations with visitors, forced smiles, forced walks through the main place of Kattegat – until you had enough. You had said you would leave when Ivar chose his new Queen, but the truth was that you didn’t want to leave. You didn’t want to abandon the life you built here, in Kattegat with Ivar by your side. You couldn’t throw away your dreams of a family with him. You needed him to stop this nonsense and give your marriage another chance. You were tired of crying and pleading to the Gods. From that moment, you would take the bull by its horns.

When night fell, and you had gathered enough courage and repeated your speech enough times to know it by heart, you made your way toward the Great Hall.

Some of Ivar’s men were sitting around a fire and among them was his trusted warrior, the giant and white-haired man. When he noticed you, he stood up and bowed his head, quickly mimicked by the other warriors.

“Where is my husband?” You asked.

“I saw him take the road of the hill, my Queen.” He said, pointing at the path.

“Thank you. Have a goodnight.”

You didn’t wait for an answer and followed the path Ivar had taken. Anxiety was making you sick. Your hands played nervously with your dress in a last attempt to relax.

There he was, at the top of the hill, lying on the grass with his cane next to him, staring at the stars.

“Ivar?” You called.

He didn’t respond, stayed frozen like a statue, one arm propped under his head. You gulped and lay down next to him, keeping some distance with his body.

Long minutes passed with only the noises of the night surrounding you – an owl’s hoot, crickets’ chirp, the wind’s blow, the sea’s waves. If the situation was different, you would have snuggled against Ivar’s warm body and watched the stars in a peaceful silence. But nothing was peaceful now.

Ivar finally broke the silence and said quietly, “I don’t want any of this to happen, I have no interest in any of these women. But I have to shut down my heart and listen to what my brain is telling me. All my life I chose to follow it and it worked every time. Even when I married you, it was a decision made by my brain.”

“You don’t regret marrying me then?” You asked, mimicking his tone.

“Don’t be stupid. You brought me love and comfort and everything I don’t deserve. You gave me useful advice when I was clueless. You handled my bad temper and never gave up on me. You helped me rule Kattegat. I can’t imagine a more perfect woman, a more perfect Queen.”

You turned on your side, wiggled on the grass to move closer to him, “You’re talking like you’re saying your farewells to me.”

“I am.” He whispered, voice shaking, “I made my choice. I’ll announce it tomorrow at the feast, even if it fucking hurts me. You deserve better than me anyway.”

You ignored the ache in your heart and repeated in your head what you told yourself earlier, again and again to keep the tiny flame of hope you had left burning.

Propping yourself on your elbow, you carefully took his hand, “You don’t have to.”

Ivar rolled his eyes and grunted, “Don’t start again.”

You released his hand and grabbed his chin forcefully, “No! Listen to me, Ivar. I’m sick of you trying to push me away. Where is the man I love with all my heart? Because this man wouldn’t have given up so easily. Where is your willpower? You’re Ivar The Boneless, a title that inspires respect, admiration and fear in people. Your life has never been easy, and it probably won’t ever be. I can’t believe that you, after everything you’ve been through, lost your faith in us. You say you don’t want to take a second wife, then don’t. Don’t do this to us, give us more time. Do you think it’s easy for me? That it doesn’t hurt me every time one of our healers tells me that I’m not with child?”

Ivar’s eyes were wide and innocent, peering up at you like he had been waiting to hear those words coming out of your mouth and that was enough to give you courage and revive your dead heart.

“We could – I don’t know – we could make a sacrifice, we could summon healers and seers from all over the country to help us. I know that you wanted a baby as soon as possible but the Gods have decided otherwise. They challenge you, like they always have. This is only another journey, another battle in your life, one that requires time and patience.” You finished firmly.

He exhaled shakily, “You’re right…” His voice broke with a sob. His body tackled yours, forcing you on your back and he burrowed his face in the crook of your neck, unable to say more.

His tears were wetting your neck. Seeing Ivar behaving this way was a first; you had never seen him cry. His obvious pain triggered something in you, a sensation strong enough to hurt; you momently forgot about the whole situation and held him tighter, tenderly rocking him like you would do with a fussy babe, hand running through his soft hair in a soothing manner.

“I failed you.” He croaked.

You shook your head, “No, Ivar. You haven’t. Not yet.”

He stayed silent, only nuzzled closer, rolling his heavy body on top of yours. You instinctively wrapped your arms around his waist and roughly squeezed him, nestling your face against the warm skin of his throat and breathed his scent sharply. Your legs encircled his sides, trapping him in your embrace.

Time passed and neither of you spoke, a comforting silence settling. You merely reveled in each other warmth and soothing scent that you have been deprived of for way too long.

You came here every night after that. Laying on the grass, talking, healing together. Ivar had declared in front of everyone that he renounced in his quest for another wife and that you and he were actively working to conceive a baby. The Great Hall had cheered, and you slowly began to feel whole again.

“What?” You murmured.

Ivar was one his side, staring at you. You saw his tongue pushed against his cheek with a smirk. Without a word, he rolled on top of you, settling on his forearms and brushed his nose against yours.

“I want to take you, right here, right now. Under the moon and stars, where the Gods can see us.”

You immediately squirmed at his words, palming at his thick neck and shoulders eagerly. It had been so long since you had any intimate moments with each other except for a few timid pecks.

“We would sure give them an entertaining show, but I’m cold and the mere thought of a warm bed and a crackling fire is enough for me to deny them this pleasure.”

“Umm, mean.” He purred before craning his neck to look at the sky, “Sorry, oh mighty Gods, but the Queen has spoken!” He practically screamed, making you giggle. His eyes turned back to your face, so intensely your heart skipped a beat. “And from now on I declare: what my Queen wants, my Queen shall have.” He added lowly, pressing his lips against yours.

You mewled at his words and at the softness of his lips. Before you could open your mouth for him, he broke the kiss, “Do you want me too?” He asked, seeming frightened that you would turn him down.

“Yes, Ivar. I want you too.” Your mouth chased his lips, so needy for contact.

He urgently pushed his tongue past your lips, one hand gripping under your jaw to lock your head in place. His other hand slid down your body to reach your thigh and gave it two light slaps.

“Let’s go to bed, then.”

Without waiting for an answer, Ivar rolled on his back and grabbed his crutch. As you straightened, you watched him crawled toward a rock and sat on it. He stuck his cane on the grass and leaned on it to help him stand up. As soon as he tried, he winced and fell back on his butt almost immediately. He had used his metal leg braces during the entire day, his muscles must ache greatly.

You stood up and extended a welcoming palm with a loving smile. Ivar responded with his own timid grin and grabbed your hand, placing a gentle kiss on your knuckles before holding it more firmly. You pulled him toward you and, when he was on his feet, wrapped an arm around his waist to take some of his weight on you.

The path to your house was quiet and slow – a bit too slow for Ivar’s liking it seemed. You could feel the tension in his body and the heat radiating from it. His hand gripped your shoulder tightly. Halfway through the road, he exhaled, frustrated, and his hand hungrily slid down your back to settle on your ass, giving it a hard squeeze.

You giggled and gently scolded him, “Be patient, my King.”

His respond was immediate. Ivar pinned your body against the nearest wall, caging you between his arms. You squealed at the sudden movement, breathing accelerating and warmth invading your body instantly.  

“Don’t wait for me. Run to our house, I’ll be right behind you. Your King wants you naked and lying on the bed when he arrives. Is that clear?”

The shift of his behavior never failed to take you aback. He had been nothing but caring, gentle and even careful since he decided to keep you as his one and only. You silently had appreciated it, taking things slow to overcome the hurt he had caused you. Now you were ready to start again as it was before. Excitation had you panting, eyes unable to turn away from his, darkened with lust.

“Yes, Ivar.”

He hummed, pressed a harsh kiss on your lips before swatting your ass. The sound resounded through the streets of Kattegat and you surely would have been self-conscious if you could think straight.

“Then what are you waiting for? Run, my love, run! Before I catch you.” He smirked playfully.

A breathless laugh was all you could produce before your legs obeyed and started to run. You reached the door within two minutes and slammed it open. The air was as cold as on the outside, making you huff annoyingly and curse whoever had let the fire die.

Quickly, you mentally made a list of what you wanted to do before Ivar’s arrival – revive the fire, light up some candles, add some furs to the bed, detangle your hair, take off your clothes and position yourself in a seducing fashion on the bed. You made a firm and determined nod to yourself and start running around the house.

A mix of apprehension and excitement made your heart beating fast and loud in your chest. You were halfway through combing your hair when you heard it – the sound of his steps and his cane hitting the ground. This time, your heart skipped a beat and a rush of adrenaline raced in your veins. You let go of the brush, practically tore the front laces holding your dress apart, threw it across the chamber and jumped on the bed, lying on your back.

Ivar pushed the door open simultaneously when your head crashed on the pillows. He smirked, biting his lips before knocking the door close. He leaned against it, taking his time to contemplate your curves.

“I still can’t believe how lucky I am that you’re mine. I mean, willingly mine.”

You couldn’t hold back a smile at his confession, feeling your heart swell in your chest.

Outstretching an arm toward him, you murmured, “Come to me.”

Ivar obeyed and slowly sat next to you with a flinch, facing away as he started to unclasp his leg and hand braces. You threw one leg on each side of his body and relaxed against his back. Your fingers started to work on his braids, untangling and combing his hair, making sure your nails gently scarped his scalp in a relaxing gesture he was so fond of.

He sighed contently, garbing his braces to place them neatly on the floor. Once his hair was free and fell graciously on his shoulders, your hands found the hem of his tunic and pulled it above his head, mouthing eagerly at the warm skin of his shoulder blades and his back as soon as they were revealed. His palms roamed over your thighs as his head turned urgently in your direction, silently begging for a kiss.

“Lay back.” He said hoarsely against your mouth.

You crawled back on your elbows to reach the pillows, swiftly followed by Ivar who settled between your legs.

“I’m going to make you feel so good, my love, so good.” He promised.

Letting out a soft moan, you nodded, “Please…”

He hummed against your lips before aiming for your breast. He didn’t even make contact directly, just hovered his plump lips over your nipple, warm breath teasing the sensitive skin. His eyes glittered playfully, staring at your face. His hand slowly made its way between your leg, fingers sliding between your wet folds.

You frowned, frustrated, “I thought you wanted to make me feel good!”

“Does it not feel good?”

“I don’t want you to tease me tonight. We’ve not touched each other for so long, Ivar. I just want you. Now.”

Ivar titled his head for one second like he was analyzing your words before raising his brows and nodding like you just said the most obvious thing ever.

Without warning, he slithered down to face your cunt and plunged two thick fingers into your wetness. He immediately built a quick rhythm, alternating between pumping and curling and rolled his thumb in swift circles on your clit. You gasped at the sudden and intense sensation, hands instantly grabbed his hair.

“Is this how you want it? You want to come fast and hard on my fingers?”

“Yes!” You moaned frantically, eyes focused on his hand.

“Have you touched yourself since the last time we fucked?”

“Ah– no, no I didn’t...”

You had wanted to, thinking it might ease your sadness and pain even if it was only for a short time, but whenever you had found yourself alone in a quiet place, your thoughts had taken over. The want for a release had simply disappeared.

Ivar let out an appreciative growl, leaving a lingering kiss just above your clit.

“I love watching my fingers play between your legs, watch them slid in and slid back out coated with your need for me. I love how your pussy clench around them like it wants them to stay buried there forever. Fucking eager thing.” He panted heavily, hypnotized by his doing.

Your cheeks flushed in response, hands tightening around his locks. Tens of incoherent and breathless ‘pleases’ fell out your mouth, orgasm so close you started to sob. Ivar pulled out and ran his digits through your wet lips, fingertips replacing and mimicking his thumb – and you came with a blaring moan under Ivar’s merciless rhythm; thighs quivering and back arching.

You vaguely heard a quiet ‘fuck’ coming from Ivar as you came down from your high. A little light-headed, you opened one heavy eyelid. A new wave of need rushed through your core; Ivar looked godly – hair a great mess, muscular and glowing chest heaving, and lips wrapped around his wet fingers, licking them clean.

Immediately, your legs encircled his waist. You pressed your heels into the plump skin of his ass and pushed in an attempt to pull him closer. Ivar took the hint and covered your body with his heavy one. His hips instinctively sought friction, rolling his prominent bulge against your still sensitive cunt. His lips met yours in a messy kiss, both of you too focused on the pleasure his thrusting brought. Your hands roamed over the muscles of his back before they settled on his bum, squeezing it to follow his movements.

You broke the kiss out of breath, “Have you touched yourself since the last time?” You half-moaned, repeating his previous question.

Ivar’s mouth met your throat, “Only three times. And then I stopped because it made me feel even more incomplete and angry afterwards.” He confessed against your skin between nips and sucks. You were sure to wear something to cover his bruises the next morning.

You merely nodded, feeling somewhat relieved he had been having a hard time as well.

You reached for the laces holding his pants to undo them. With help of your feet, you managed to get it to slide mid-thigh. Your mouth watered when his solid cock lay on your lower stomach, and you greedily seized the thick length of him, instantly spreading the pre-cum around his tip. Ivar hissed at the first touch, hips jerking in your direction. You felt your pussy clutch around the air in response as if it was calling for him.

With your other hand, you pushed on his hip to try and line his cock with your entrance, but he was too heavy. “Ivar… I need you.” You whined, pushing harder without stopping your movements on his shaft.

Ivar’s chest rumbled. He slapped your working fingers away from him and with his hands, grabbed both of your wrist and pinned them above your head, interlacing his fingers with yours. You were face to face, breathing the air coming out of each other’s mouth.

“I’m going to put a baby in you.” He stated, eyes burning with conviction.

His features held so much determination that you could only believe him. You wanted to – needed to believe him.

“My seed is going to coat your womb, fucking drenching it. You want that, hum? You want me to put a baby in you?”

Drowning under the intensity of his shiny blue eyes, you nodded frantically with a sob. He never spoke to you that way before. A painful throb ran through your cunt, making you whine in his face.

“Do it, Ivar, please. Fuck me.”

Your legs parted wider, giving him full access as if he needed another invitation. Ivar made a few thrusts, his cock sliding easily against your folds, parting them beautifully before finally pressing his tip to your entrance. He slowly dove in, making you feel every single inch of him as he reveled in the way your walls hugged him snugly. A throaty moan spilled from his lips and his fingers, still tangled with yours, twitched and squeezed tighter.

When all of him was inside you, he bared his teeth and snarled. Without any warning, he pulled out and rammed into you with all his strength. The hard movement knocked the air out of your lungs, eyes and mouth widening.

“Ivar!” It was the last word you could muster before the only thing leaving your mouth was squeals, moans and sobs.

Ivar didn’t bother building up his harsh pace, immediately snapped his hips hard and quick against yours. The knot in your belly tightened with every thrust, your orgasm approaching hastily and promising to be earth shattering. Your eyes never left his handsome face, contorted with raw pleasure – eyes wild and jaw wide open.

“Fuck, I’m going to fill you so good.” He grunted out of breath.

Pearls of sweat dripped down the side of his face, and you couldn’t help but craning your neck to run your tongue along his skin, mewling at the salty taste. Ivar shuddered, grumbled something under his breath before tearing his hands away from yours. He gripped under your thighs and, in a swift motion, folded them upon your abdomen. This angle allowed him to go deeper. His stiff cock reached the very end of you, hitting it relentlessly until white lights exploded behind your eyelids as you screamed and clawed angry red lines down his back.

Ivar dipped his fists into the mattress, bulging biceps trembling with the effort as his hips didn’t halt until he roared through his own pleasure, burying his cock deep inside and spilling his seed.

He stayed frozen hovering above you, body still quivering and moaning with every intake of breaths. A smile crooked your lips, dreamy and sated. Your palms caressed his hard chest, waiting for him to withdraw and collapse on your breasts. But he didn’t. Instead, he encaged your hips with one arm and pulled, lifting your pelvis from the bed.

When he met your inquiring eyes, he clarified, “I don’t want to waste one single drop.” You giggled at the situation, earning a genuine but tired smile from your husband. 

After a minute, he said, “I’m going to pull out. Stay just like this, all right?”

You hummed in approval, digging your heels in the furs to hold your hips up. Ivar slowly drew back and dropped next to you with a satisfied huff.

“I feel a bit stupid in this position.” You said after a few minutes of silence.

“That’s not true, not true at all.” He teased, trying his hardest not to smirk.

With a swift movement, you gave his chest a lazy but reprimanding slap. “Don’t make fun of me!” You laughed, “My thighs and my ass are starting to burn.”

“I think that’s enough, you can stop.”

Your lower body fell on the mattress the second he said those words. Ivar was instantly on you, kissing his way down your chest to reach your lower stomach. He sucked a few marks on it, eyebrows furrowed like he was in deep thoughts.

“It is not enough.” He muttered against your skin.

“What do you mean?”

Without an answer, Ivar reached for his favorite knife on the nightstand and abruptly slid the sharp blade against his left palm, cutting through the skin without batting an eye. The cut turned red immediately, blood slowly flowing out.

“Ivar, what –”

His serious expression shut you up. With his right hand, he dipped his finger into the blood and brought it to your womb and he started to draw. Ivar murmured words under his breath, so quietly you couldn’t understand them. But he had this special look on his face, the look he had when he communicated with the Gods. You didn’t dare to breath, hypnotized by his doing. When he was halfway through his work, his cut had dried. Being his stubborn self, Ivar kept on putting pressure on it to try and draw even more blood from it. He huffed in annoyance when the cut showed itself more stubborn than he was and reached for his knife again, clearly wanting to cut another line.

“Wait.” You stopped him, grabbing the knife from his hand and brought it to your own palm. “I can help.”

Ivar watched mesmerized as the blade bit your skin. Your face contorted at the burning sting numbing your flesh. Ignoring it, you brought your hand to him, expecting him to continue his drawing with your own blood. With a sharp breath, he caught your wrist and licked the wound with the flat of his tongue, moaning at the metallic taste.

“Ivar,” You laughed, “It’s not for you.”

He made a low sound at the back of his throat and gently nipped at your wrist in retaliation, before coating his finger with your blood and continuing his work. 

When he was done, you could clearly recognize the rune Inguz, the rune meant for fertility.

A million emotions started to course through your body. The last doubt you had about him renouncing his quest for another wife faded away. He truly wanted you to have his child and not some other woman. He asked directly to the Gods, even used magic runes. You knew how serious all of this was for him, as it was for you. His brows were furrowed and his eyes unfocused. He was in a trance; his murmuring didn’t quiet down.

You slowly raised your hand and ran it through his long hair, waiting for him to finish his private moment with the Gods.

And nine months later, you met the other man of your life who stole his parents’ heart the moment he opened his electric blue eyes.

Tagging: @titty-teetee  @fuckthatfeeling @ceridwenofwales @readsalot73 @sweetvengeancee @tinymoonshine @kolvanismirk @teenagephilosophersandwich @readingbooksdrinkingtea @rls905 @that-was-not-supposed-to-happen @float-autumn-leave @rrwilson66 @manuugxlvis @bugalouie @bard-lioness @kanaelii @lisinfleur @clumsywonderland @romanchronicles @akamaiden @msprada023 @ivars-valkyrie @kenzieam @deleteidentity @turner-cris @ubbesgirl @ivarswickedqueen @venusloviing @atequila @wrongxwriter @missrobyn81

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 026: Obstacle Course Part 2 (Conclusion)

Previously on BnHA: The kids of class A busted their way through the sports festival obstacle course like the young gods-in-the-making they are. Everyone was like, whoa, these kids are kicking ass. Momo made a gun and I may have cried a little. Some girl from the support course macguyvered her way through with moon shoes and a utility belt. Fucking Deku tore through the entire thing carrying a giant metal plate and just whomping robots left and right and shimmying across the floating islands of Pandora like fucking Spider-Man. He then catapulted himself onto a bunch of mines in a fucking minefield and fucking surfed the resulting explosion and I’m fucking done you guys.

Today on BnHA: Deku nearly commits a murder but it nets him first place. Todoroki spits in the face of continuity. Everyone in class A advances to the second round of the festival. Midnight announces that round 2 will be a cavalry battle. Deku has a target painted on his back because no good deed ever goes unpunished.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 48 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.) 

oh my god look at these huge text boxes. are these all Deku?? this kid is fucking twacked out on something right now I swear

yeah I guess this is Deku’s POV from when he was like “RARRRRRRRR [BOOM]” from before

seriously this kid is out here channeling the Hulk or something

holy shit he actually dug up the mines in order to jump on them??

All Might what have you done. look what you’ve created

more like blasting shounen maniac

also I forgot Kacchan’s arm was frozen and I had to stare at it for a sec before my memory filled in the blanks there

so we’re all in agreement that Deku has actually gone crazy right?

“yup this is intense” totally fucking bananas

Kacchan has such an over the top wtf expression that for a moment I actually thought Deku had hit him in the head on the way down

he didn’t think about the landing. of course not. shounens never think about the landing

well maybe this guy can inadvertently help you out with that somehow

wow look at his face. Deku what have you done

now Todoroki’s making an ice path

by the way, so Todoroki apparently doesn’t need to physically touch whatever it is he’s freezing, then? because here he’s just stomping on the ground and it’s immediately turning to ice, but he’s wearing shoes. I can’t remember if he’s done this before, but I feel like up till now it’s always been his hands

in fact, I just went back and checked his intro in chapter 11 and it specifically said he freezes things with his right hand (left hand is the fire one). so I consider this panel a plot hole unless Horikoshi decides to come along and explain it later

(ETA: not only did they not explain it, they didn’t change it for the anime either. WHAT KIND OF GARBAGE IS THIS. I CAN’T BELIEVE THE ENTIRE SERIES IS RUINED JUST LIKE THAT OMG.)

Deku seems more worried about losing time on his landing than he is about, you know, landing badly and breaking every bone in his body. I guess once you’ve already done that a few times, you kind of become accustomed to it and it’s no big deal anymore

(ETA: let’s not talk any more about Deku not giving a shit about his own broken bones holy shit.)

why do shounen people always take such a long fucking time to fall

lol the other two are rushing past him while he’s slowly drifting into the frame upside-down

grab onto them and use them as your sled dogs!

holy fuck what is he doing lmao

this kid is really out here with his HEEERE’S JOHNNY face deadass about to commit murder live on camera in front of 100,000 people

oh thank god he didn’t actually hit them. though I feel like it wasn’t for lack of trying

he hit the ground again and of course, more land mines

I feel like he ended up murdering them anyway tbh

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TEACHING THOSE KIDS ERASER HEAD” lmao sob this chapter is epic

and EH is all “I didn’t even do anything they’re just like this”

Deku actually made it back first! holy shit. and all he had to do was go completely off the deep end and murder two of his classmates to do it

oh my god his mom is watching

I mean, of course she’s watching, but it only just occurred to me. is he actually going to use his quirk here at some point or what? and if he does, just what the hell is she going to make of that?

I hope he comes clean with her afterwards, honestly. I have faith in her ability to keep a secret that would put her child’s life in jeopardy otherwise

(ETA: Deku is a liar and a thief and his poor mom deserves better)

and speaking of that, scrolling back up to the panel above Izumama, there’s this other random guy watching Deku who seems to also recognize him

what’s this about exactly? a year ago would be right around the time of the Sludge Incident. does he remember him from that? or does he somehow know Deku from back in his middle school days?

(ETA: it’s the former, I overthought this)

actually there are a lot of people who went to school with Izuku and specifically knew him to not have a quirk, come to think. what are all of them going to think if he suddenly busts one out here in front of the entire country? I feel like that’s going to seem really fucking suspicious and raise a lot of questions

anyway, moving on here, it seems Tomura is watching too. what a creep

and his hands are gone, just like when he visited the school that day and (presumably) broke in

aww. Deku sought out All Might’s face in the crowd and he’s grinning at him and he looks so proud. he’s crying again sob. and All Might looks fucking ecstatic

now All Might is having an internal monologue about how so many modern heroes are in it for the fame and so they’re selfish, but Deku isn’t like that, and that’s why he chose him. and interestingly he says he thought that quality would be a potential weakness, but he’s happy to be proven wrong

“but you gotta stop crying all the time!” aww, let him be, he’s emotional, there’s nothing wrong with that. I was gonna add “and he’s still a kid”, but that implies that there’s anything wrong with an adult being emotional which isn’t the case either. I know he’s all about the whole “smiling through the pain” thing, but Deku’s not the type to keep his feelings so hidden, and honestly I think that’s also a strength rather than a weakness

people from the business course are discussing Deku’s draft stock now, and speculating on how they would market him

yeah All Might I kind of see what you mean here. it’s all about the PR, and the actual hero stuff has almost been taken out of the equation

there’s a panel explaining how the business course members don’t participate in the sports fest directly and instead they just walk around doing boring business things. I’m not at all interested in this but I am dutifully making a note of it

(ETA: though I would be interested if they did some more shit dealing with sudden fame and celebrity and marketing deals. it’s still ridiculous to me that a country with as huge an idol culture as Japan would not be attempting to do this with at least some of these U.A. kids.)

(ETA 2: finally in the latest chapter I read we at least had someone filming a commercial.)

Kacchan and Todoroki have arrived back at the stadium out of breath as losers. sorry losers

poor Todoroki. IN FRONT OF YOUR FAMOUS DAD AND EVERYTHING

Kacchan’s super pissed but what else is new. is your arm okay bud. also you probably could have blasted your way across that final part of the course similar to how Deku did, but you didn’t. you literally have only yourself to blame

oh wow, Ochako and Iida rounding out the top five! what a pleasant surprise

(ETA: yeah this misconception will be rectified shortly, so I’m leaving it)

Iida’s depressed because being fast is His Whole Thing and he still came in like fifth. honestly I feel like that does hurt him a little more than the rest, because if any heroes out there are on the lookout for a speedster, they’re probably going to be less taken with a guy that didn’t even manage to make the podium in the speed competition. but you still have the rest of the festival, Iida. and if all else fails, you’ll still have two more chances after this

Deku is literally hiding his face because Ochako came right up to him and started talking about how great he was

it was not close, Deku

now he’s saying he got lucky. that was part of it, sure, but dude you were a fucking beast out there. honestly it was scary

Momo made it in sixth! along with this piece of drifting garbage that seems to have gotten stuck to her somehow

I’m sorry you had to see this, everyone. Momo is brilliant, but I feel like she missed a golden opportunity to make another gun or something and solve our Mineta problem for good. they did say no rules, after all. any lawyer worth their salt should be able to work with that

oh wow, I thought Iida and Ochako were fourth and fifth, but apparently that Poison Ivy girl came in fourth! Ibara, huh? I like her a lot

and this Dia de Muertos guy came in fifth!!

MY GOD IIDA, SIXTH?? YOU HAD ONE FUCKING JOB

and Ochako is #16?? EVERYONE, WE’RE GONNA RIOT

class B seems to only have a few standouts, really. thank god tbh. it was hard enough trying to memorize the first twenty kids’ names

(ETA: for a brief moment it looked like this might not be true, but then it was true again lol)

can’t believe Kaminari’s all the way down at #24. what happened?

are there... two invisible kids here?

(ETA: this literally never came up again??!)

and Aoyama barely made it. the cutoff was at #42 for some reason. they could have easily set it at the much more normal number of 40, but they just liked you that much, Aoyama!

Midnight’s about to announce the second event, but she’s dragging it out so damn much and I can’t take it

“Cavalry Battle”! yay! what’s that

Tsuyu says they’re teaming up but imma need more deets

“participants will form, on their own, teams of two to four members each” okay I can already foresee a few problems here

-- and get into a horse and rider formation, oh my god

I LOVE IT

for a brief moment I was like “wow this is really tame compared to the first event.” but then I remembered that they all have powers and will presumably be trying to kill each other and I can see this getting really fucking violent actually

that said! I’m definitely here for it lol

damn she’s still going on. apparently each kid has been assigned a point value based on the results of the previous event. so that means Deku has the highest value I guess. well, he wanted to stand out

TEN MILLION POINTS wow. this seems a bit broken to me

Deku’s face is

pretty good

what kind of fucked up olympics punishes you for doing well though

ten million points, though. damn. and meanwhile that lucky s.o.b. Aoyama is only worth five

and wow, we’ve reached the end of volume three already! well that sure was fun

BONUS:

Mt. Lady again?

she’s ordering takoyaki

she’s trying to get it for free omg

it worked omg

that’s it. that’s the comic

wow

now there’s a second comic that seems almost identical to her first comic from an earlier volume. this accountant guy is complaining that she’s lost them so much money

she can apparently grow from her normal size up to about 67 and a half feet. and that’s it. nothing in between

aside from that slight bit of additional detail, this is literally the exact same comic strip from before. I want those twenty seconds of my life back damn it

[keldae]

Profile for reanden or xaja :)

Since I’ve already done one for Xaja, heeere’s Spydad!

Full Name: Reanden Daenril Taerich

Gender and Sexuality: Cisgender, heterosexual 

Pronouns: He/him

Ethnicity/Species: Human, Caucasian

Birthplace and Birthdate: Lavisar, 18 Welona, 31 BTC, 3684 BBY   

Guilty Pleasures: Cheesey space!zombie holofilms. I’m not saying he has a hypothetical zombie apocalypse plan ready to go, buuuut…

Phobias: Failure, loss of control, losing those he loves, and mildly uncomfortable with heights.

What They Would Be Famous For: Alas, fame tends to be very lethal for spies. Although he is something of a legend in both Sith Intelligence and SIS circles.

What They Would Get Arrested For: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA he’s already been arrested more than a few times for various things In real talk, probably a million counts of homicide and some light treason. And if he and Mairen keep this up, there’s going to be a public indecency charge on that list one of these days.

OC You Ship Them With: @andveryginger‘s lovely Mairen Bel Iblis!

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Either his half-brother, Darth Maglion the Wrathy Asshole, or Agent Cotuomo, an OC Ginger and I found out has been his rival for years.

Favourite Movie/Book Genre: Apocalypse action holofilms

Least Favourite Movie/Book Cliche: Anytime a convenient solution happens to magically present itself right when it’s needed at the climax of the story. Or when the love interest/supporting characters/sidekicks get killed for nothing more than shock value.

Talents and/or Powers: Smarter than almost everyone else in the room and he knows it. Mentally trained to withstand the Force and any intrusions. Knows more than enough Teras Kasi to be dangerous. Can slice his way into almost anything. Has more Sith on his kills list than Jedi, and killed one of those Sith with a pencil. True story.

Why Someone Might Love Them: He’s an absolutely devoted single dad to his adult children. The few people he legitimately loves, he loves deeply. And some people are privy to the information that during the years he was searching for his sons in slave rings, he was making it a point to rescue every child he could find and make sure they were returned to their families or otherwise sent somewhere safe in the Core. Children have been his weakness since his oldest was born.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: Besides the snark and the insults he throws out, and his love of getting on peoples’ nerves for the sheer hell of it? He’s ruthless, presents as a very cold and calculating asshole, and his first instinct is usually to kill whoever is giving him a problem. While he’s usually the smartest person in the room and knows it, he also has a plan to kill everyone in the room. And he never, ever forgets a grudge.

How They Change: Back in his days as a young Imperial Intelligence asshole agent, he was a complete asshat, and pretty much only staying alive out of pure spite to piss off his parents and half brother. The first person he actually felt love for was his first wife, Airna, and hell did she change him a LOT – step one was convincing him to swap to the SIS and Republic loyalty (although I suspect half his motivation for becoming a turncoat was to spite the Empire). Agent Snark turned into a giant puddle of mush the second he was handed a two-minute-old baby Xaja, and she went from loudly voicing her displeasure with being born to quietly settling down the second her daddy had her and he’s still a complete pushover where she’s concerned. He’s still a sarcastic, snarky asshole and is a master of the backhanded compliment, but he does let himself care about some people under all of that, instead of being completely cold and unfeeling and angry with the galaxy at large. (even Theron is on that short list of people Reanden genuinely cares about, even if he’ll never ever admit it.)

Why You Love Them: I’m a complete sucker for the caring single-dad trope, and being able to play around with that with this asshole who pretends like he hates everyone who isn’t his kids or grandkids is so much fun. Reanden also gives me an outlet to pour out my anger (anyone who’s worked retail can vouch for how ragey employees can get by the end of the day), and to say all the snarky insults that I can’t say to idiots IRL. It’s also a fun challenge writing someone who’s way smarter than I am, has a contingency plan for everything, and loves throwing people off-guard by acting unexpectedly (Can confirm, nobody expected him to be able to assassinate Sith without dying, multiple times). He’s the character who will do the dirty shit nobody else wants to touch, for the benefit of those he loves or the cause he believes in.