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punkeropercyjackson · 2 months

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The way Percy Jackson in the Pjo/Hoo books is like........legitimately black-coded.Stay with me on this,the leadup to this post is what made decide to make it

He's a New Yorker from El Barrio.He's seen as a troublemaker on sight because 'he looks like it' and that's kinda the whole point of his character-He never means to do anything wrong,everybody just judges him his whole life because he looks 'scary' but in the pov chapters by others,there's nothing about him that's actually intimidating or would cause alarm unless you count the rbf and itself is a phenomenom i also deal with as an audhd black person who never learned how to mask because i don't fall under any autistic stereotypes on top of the blackness so i had to self-diagnose(with proper research).This happens to other Half-Bloods but Percy is emphasized as a special case,he gets it even worse and we're TOLD it's because of his looks multiple times.His looks include 'a mediterrean complexion',an umbrella term for brown skin and his shade is never stated and his hair is longer than average for a guy explicitly too and the texture isn't given either.Hazel Levesque,the first monoracial darkskin black fem mc in the franchise,said Percy has 'the good looks of a roman god' and that's an unrealistic description from a 40s New Orleans girl to give a white boy fullstop but she described Nico di Angelo as 'a scrawny white boy' and Jason Grace's,Annabeth's Chase's and other explicitly white characters' races are stated by her too but never Percy's.By ANY character,in a whole SAGA he started!And Percy used white as a descriptor too,in Sea of Monsters when he said he hates rich white boys.Again,white characters in the franchise don't use that descriptor unless it's for irony comedy!!

The SECOND Percy met Hazel,he rode for her harder than anyone else ever,including her so called boyfriend who is nonblack.When Octavian was being a creepy misogynoirist and picking on her for being a younger black girl,Percy scared him into leaving her alone with his 'natural intimidation' and is extremely caring towards and tender to her throught all their interactions.This is because Percy is canonically punk and no,i don't mean a sk*ter,i mean he lives it up to all the requirements for being a part of punk culture and i did the downlow on that(linked in the notes)and that only adds to it because of course a black punk dude would instantly and nonstop back up a lil darkskin black girl in trouble no matter what.He looks exactly like Poseidon,the god of the sea,the caribbean and Sally raised him in the ways of the sea because she grew up the same way and was passing it down to him,not because of Poseidon

Percy as a character was created to defy stereotypes,he's the og troubled but good kid rep.He's poor but because his mom had so many relatives die at such a young age she couldn't end up any other way and he already feels guilt over his dad being a deadbeat because he's 'playing into the stereotype'.He has a way better understanding of gender and racial dynamics than the stated white boys do and certain very pick me-ish white girls in the verse too and is commented and proven to not be traditionally masculine or to quote my little sister figure 'not in the white way if that makes sense'.He's also a genius but constantly called stupid by everyone and just takes it as opposed to Annabeth,who is objectively less smart than him and the whitest girl in the whole books by a longshot and was realistically treated as a gift for it due to the more extreme ableism of neurodivergents who aren't 'good enough'

Percy is a mama's boy who respects women and disrespects men,was a bully beater and never stopped until he became an adult no matter how many schools he got kicked out of-6 at 12 alone,takes on the Team Dad role to make up for Poseidon's abandonment and for every kid he meets who dosen't have a dad either,has the cocky asf and audacious attitude literally only black men can pull off,his sense of humor strikes very familiarly and dinstictively to me as a homecountry raised afro-dominicana and this is free liscense on my part but i can't help but make the connections of Hazel's dad being a roman god,Percy pseudo-adopting Hazel and Hazel saying Percy looks like a roman god.Percy's foil in every way down to their looks(*hint hint*)is Luke Castellan

Luke's a cishet allistic blue eyed blonde white older man who's constantly described as conventionally attractive who grew up in a fantasy world to shelter him where he was worshipped yet humanized and didn't have any overly bad experiences by demigod standards but went on one bad quest and turned into a fullblown fascist as he groomed the demigods he'd nurtured beforehand into his child army with propaganda he NEVER made due on in FOUR WHOLE YEARS of doing a war and bringing about the end of the world for self-vindication only,including an irl cryptofash dogwhistle('destroying society to build it from the ground up')and is also racist(targeted boys of color as seen with Chris Rodriguez and Ethan Nakamura but left Travis and Connor Stoll alone despite being closer to them)and a serial pedophile(had shippy undertones with Annabeth,Silena Beauregard,Thalia Grace and Kelli only and Kelli has no canon age but she passes as a 14 year old Percy's classmate with no mentions of age apperance changing).A key part to all this is that Luke thinks he was martyrd by the gods the way Percy actually was and it's all Luke's fault yet he calls PERCY too naive the same he's literally doing it to him

And finally,the leadup:In The Kane Chronicles,a spinoff,short story crossovering with Pjo Percy says Sadie Kane looks like if he had a daughter with Annabeth.Sadie Kane is canonically a black dad white mom kid.Yeah i know it's Rick being racist and she was whitewashed in all her official arts but in the books,the kids at her school are misogynoiristic against her and bully her due to clocking as 'the mixed race girl' on sight.Sadie is canonically not white passing,just lightfeatured and looks black enough that you can easily tell her heritage.This implies Percy is black,specifically afrolatino with the El Barrio upbringing and sea/caribbean heritage.It has no contradiction in canon and the covers and graphic novels can't be counted on since they lightwash Hazel big time.Wether you like it or not,Percy Jackson was written as black-coded.And completely accidentally made way more respectfully written than the intentional black characters because Rick Riordan should be hunted for sport.It's giving that post about autistic-coded characters.I think Percy's full name is actually Perseo Isadore Jackson

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lost-technology · 5 months

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I was alerted to Trigun Fanfiction Appreciation Week! I have recs! It's Cinco de Mayo and I am full of tacos. Let's roll! Roleswap The Purple Hyacinth bouquet of stories by @somereaderinblue Summary: A universe in which Vash was born as the first Independent Plant and it is Tesla and Nai who are the twin-siblings. Other characters switch roles as well - Luida and Rem, Livio and Wolfwood, each retaining their unique selves. The symbolism of the purple hyacinth and little details like Tesla's love of lemon-cake really make this. Tesla is a rougher kind of heroic desperado, being more nuanced, rougher and less absolutist than Vash, making for an amazing ride. (The first tale, centered on Luida and little Vash, though, will break your heart). Canon-typical violence and abuses of children and science. General AU Sun, Moon and Stars by @tragic-unpaired-electron Summary: At a crucial moment, Rem does something crazy to save baby Tesla and the entire universe changes. What follows is the saga of the Saverem family - mothers, daughter, sons, a more hospitable planet, but not without social and political challenges for Plants to gain legal personhood. This had me hooked like a thrill ride, beginning to end. One of my absolute favorites in the fandom. Each and every character has a realistic, organic change stemmed from this one pinpoint. (Nai doesn't go genocidal for example, but has points where he could have gone dark and has reasons to choose a better path). Treat yourself and read this! Canon-typical violence. Conrad being particularly a bastard. For my fellow Rem-enjoyers Out Cold by Miricals Summary: Vash, Wolfwood and the girls find themselves sheltering in an old crashed escape ship they found with coldsleep capsules still running on half-dead solar power. Guess who they find. Some sadness with unnamed characters' deaths, otherwise no warnings. Accidents Happen by exai_lostjune Summary: Set in the 1998 anime / first anime only. Rem finds out that crewmate Steve has been beating her kids, not just being bigoted in speech. She beats his ass with a crowbar. That's it, that's the fic. Little Plant Twins get protected by their Mama Bear, Steve gets what he deserves. In-Series / Main Timeframe Let the Ransomed be Free by SpiritusRex Summary: Wolfwood and Meryl impersonate a pair of rich-bitches to get into a auction attended by all of the planet's worst billionaires. Their mission? To find an extract a certain Vash the Stampede, who is up on the auction block as a slave to the highest bidder. Shenanigans ensue. Canon-typical violence / un-fun use of a cattle-prod on our poor Vash. Just Follow My Yellow Light (And Ignore All Those Big Warning Signs) by haveloved Summary: In the aftermath of Vash getting hurt, Wolfwood notices that Meryl hasn't eaten. Milly usually helps her remember to eat. Just a little story about self-care and others-care. Canon-typical violence. WTF? Aaaah! Why did someone write this? / are people going to look at me weird for reading this? Aaaaaaaah! Horror. Sin Eaters by @dragonofeternal Summary: There is an old tradition Vash read of once wherein a ritual meal is consumed to absolve the sins of the deceased. Livio, however, was Wolfwood's first friend and does not intend on letting Vash dine alone. BIG WARNING HERE! This was written for Trigun Body Horror Week. NOT for the faint of heart or the weak of stomach! While I think this is the best story to come out of Trigun Body Horror Week... it is... just that. This one's for gore-fiends - outdoes canon.

#trigun #trigun maximum #trigun stampede #trigun fanfiction #trigun fanfiction recs #trigun fanfiction week #tesla (trigun)#trigun tesla #rem saverem #vash the stampede #millions knives #meryl stryfe #milly thompson #livio the doublefang #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun fanfiction appreciation week

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miyakuli · 6 months

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Raging Loop

Hungry Wolf

Take The Werewolves of Millers Hollow, sprinkle it with Japanese mythology, blend everything with a time-loop system, and serve it up at the macabre feast of Yasumizu village. This psychological horror visual novel is sure to delight your palate, but will you even dare to taste the experience…?

❤ Let's start with the main dish: the game's storyline. The story is intriguing and very rich in folklore, and I really enjoyed unraveling its mysteries as the revelations unfolded. In fact, I was surprised in many ways by the course of events, I couldn't anticipate many of the twists, and some of the secrets were well kept until the very end. ❤ As side dishes to the meal, the game offers us some very…particular characters. Their personalities are quite atypical, and we can glimpse both their sensitivity and their utter madness… but that's why we end up loving them all. The game also takes the time to develop them over the loops, making them all memorable and endearing individuals. Between our main protagonist who's as intelligent as Light in Death Note but with a nonchalant personality, a flirtatious but lunatic young woman, a teenage boy in a dress with super-powered instincts, a loving but depressive mum, and the list goes on….you can guess that the interactions in this group will never be boring and will provide you with scenes that are both delirious and uncomfortable. ❤ The game's overall design perfectly seasons the plot, with varied chara-design and beautiful (and creepy) illustrations. ❤ To round off the meal, you can wander through a flowchart whose chapters are unlocked by keys obtained each time your character dies. It's more than just an accessory for the player though, and plays an integral part in the story, just as it does in Zero Escape saga - a little icing on the cake.

However, I think that some of the food would benefit from a better balance of flavors. +/- All dialogue is dubbed in Japanese (and although the seiyuus are largely unknown, their acting is excellent). The soundscape is also really well done, despite being a little cheap…but some of the musical loops are a little too apparent and, above all, the heartbeat track… seriously, you can find much better in free sound banks. +/- The game takes its time to develop the story and characters while keeping a steady pace, so you don't feel the hours fly by…but there's an overload of explanations condensed into the last few chapters, a little indigestible. +/- Also, the ending could chill people's appetite, and I think this story direction will have an effect on the atmosphere of the game; replaying it won't have the same flavor knowing this outcome. +/- The don juan attitude of the main character towards almost all the girls in the game wasn't always necessary and a bit clunky in my opinion, although yes, these relationships will have an interesting impact. +/- In the end, the game is very linear, so it doesn't offer much replayability…but the bonus content does add some nice elements to the plot.

While I was well satisfied with this meal, a few elements left me with a slightly bitter taste. ✖ The sound balance is poor; if I put everything at the same level, some dialogues are eaten up by the music, but if I turn the voices up a little, they take up too much space. ✖ I wish we'd had more choice during the feasts; that we'd been much more involved in unmasking the culprits. ✖ The "hints corner" don't add much and break the creepy effect of the bad endings.

Raging Loop is a very savory VN, and despite the lack of interaction, it's a treat thanks to a convincing scenario set in a well-managed anxious atmosphere, and will easily keep you on the edge of your seat for several hours. Enjoy your meal.

youtube

➡ My personal VN ranking (in french) ➡ My Steam page

#raging loop #did I spend way too much time on this food analogy?#YES TToTT I like to suffer........#Lola plays games #personal

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kaylaxliterature · 1 year

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BLOG 2

Another one of my favorite parts of the Saga was the relationship between Geirmund and Thurid. Not only was Geirmund antisocial, suspicious, and bratty (in the ‘let me have and marry your daughter no matter the cost’), but he was also a total dickbag. Throughout their relationship, Geirmund and Thurid showed little to no affection for each other, which honestly should have been expected. This situation and his lack of empathy led to his leaving his wife and young daughter. This causes the girl boss woman in Thurid to go sailing with 10 other men to redeem herself and the power that she withholds. She then takes the precious sword “leg-bitter” from Geirmund and additionally passes on their daughter as if she is a soccer ball. Honestly, I feel bad for this poor one-year-old child that has gone through parents fighting, passing herself on from parent to parent with no care, and soon a dead father (which leads me to think about what happened to her…). Anyways, I found the relationship between the two quite interesting because even though Geirmund does not get a divorce from Thurid for whatever stupid reason, such as wearing pants, he just left. Comparing this to the modern world, yes, this probably does happen a lot and I should honestly not be surprised. Reading and relating this part of the text now, makes me feel a little bit more at ease that we are more likely to marry others for love rather than for power or riches.

In conclusion, great book, highly recommended to my fellow Olaf lovers, and 9/10 (equal to/better than Beowulf).

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madnesstrust · 2 years

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Lightning strikes by zip code

Lightning strikes by zip code skin#

Join the conversation about the world of V.C. Andrews's life story is told in The Woman Beyond the Attic. Andrews novels, which have sold over 107 million copies worldwide and have been translated into twenty-five foreign languages. The measuring technique of the lightning radar makes the decisive contribution here: Each lightning/lightning strike emits an electromagnetic wave that. The family saga continues with Christopher's Diary: Secrets of Foxworth, Christopher's Diary: Echoes of Dollanganger, and Secret Brother, as well as Beneath the Attic, Out of the Attic, and Shadows of Foxworth as part of the fortieth anniversary celebration. Andrews has been a bestselling phenomenon since the publication of Flowers in the Attic, first in the renowned Dollanganger family series, which includes Petals on the Wind, If There Be Thorns, Seeds of Yesterday, and Garden of Shadows. Something that could turn Rain's most precious dreams into an inescapable nightmare.Ībout the Author One of the most popular authors of all time, V.C. Behind the icy sheen of wealth and privilege lies something unspeakable. And everything about the place-the air, the silence, even the somber household staff-is as cold and soulless as a museum. She sees strange lights in rooms that are supposed to be closed off. Rain hears footsteps at night, and the high-pitched laughter of a little girl. Their estate is breathtakingly austere, filled with antiques and a long, storied history. In fact one of Bartletts clients has a Pecan tree that was struck three times over the course of about 20. According to Deputy City Manager Tony Reyes, a lightning strike appeared to have hit City. Pecans are very susceptible to lightning strikes. Enrolled in one of England's most prestigious drama schools, Rain is sent to London to live with her great-aunt, Lenora, of the renowned Endfield family. BAY CITY, MI - A lightning strike from a summertime storm caused some electrical issues for Bay City Hall. Her heart's true passion-the theater-may prove to be her salvation, as she embarks on a journey to unmask a legacy of long-buried family secrets. must risk it all and fight for a future that depends on lightning striking. Torn from the embrace of her poor but loving family, Rain Arnold now lives surrounded by opulent riches but feels more like an outsider than ever before. of cover.īook Synopsis The second novel in the thrilling Hudson series, from bestselling author V. Andrew's Hudson series: Eye of the storm"-P.

Lightning strikes by zip code skin#

Accurate color, lifelike skin tones, archival quality and a traditional photo finish are just a few reasons why customers love E-Surface Prints.About the Book "Includes an excerpt from the next novel in V.C. The White Base creates a fresh, bright appearance allowing all the details of your image to shine through with crystal clear precision.Į-Surface Paper is our most popular photographic paper. The ready-to-hang mount is positioned to meet both vertical and horizontal image orientations. Hang Vivid Metal prints with ease using a ¾” thick Float Mount on the back of the metal itself. Vivid metal creates show-stopping conversation pieces and add an artistic edge and contemporary elegance to the image. By combining lightning strike and radar data, RadarPlus can predict where. This image was featured on Good Morning America, in the Washington Post, and various other news outlets around the country. Users can choose to receive alerts for lightning strikes in selected areas. Well probably see a good round of showers and storms this morning, then a lull until later afternoon and. For the first time, I actually caught lightning striking the ground (or in this case, water), illuminating the Pittsburgh skyline. Wet weather is finally back At least for Monday. as strong thunderstorms rolled through the Gulf Coast. This particular strike is by far my favorite, captured in the early morning hours of May 2nd, 2016. Lightning strikes along Mobile Bay Tuesday in Fairhope, Ala. I've always been fascinated by lightning, and trying to capture it is always exciting.

#Lightning strikes by zip code

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ariainstars · 3 years

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Ben Solo? Sorry. Maybe He’s Better Off Dead.

Introductory note: this meta is explicitly not anti-Reylo. I am a Reylo myself. I am merely fed up with what a large chunk of the Star Wars and Reylo corner has made of this pairing.

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I have read it more times than I can count: Ben Solo shouldn’t have died, that’s what one side of the fandom says. The other side argues “Reylo’s have destroyed Star Wars.”

Both are right. And both are wrong in a way.

Yes, I was disappointed when Ben Solo died at the end of the sequel trilogy. He was by far my favorite character, the most intriguing of the movies and one of the most interesting of the entire saga.

My husband argued for years that they couldn’t let a patricide and multiple killer live, let alone give him a happy ending. And I myself was skeptical when it came to the popular Reylo interpretation that “their love” would save the day. Apart from the fact that it would have fitted a romance but not an action movie; important as personal developments and relationships always are in the saga, it would have been sappy.

However, since this is the Skywalker saga, I figured that they couldn’t kill the last of their blood; and since the Force wants Balance and this was heavily foreshadowed in The Last Jedi, I imagined Ben, alone or with Rey’s help, would somehow find the key to this balance and pass it on. Had that happened, at least his death would have had some meaning. The Rise of Skywalker was an unsatisfying ending because it brought the saga back to zero, with a Palpatine in charge and no hero in sight. I still don’t like it. But as for Ben Solo, I sometimes think that maybe this was the best ending for him after all.

One great mistake I made was to spend too much time on social media after having seen The Last Jedi, a movie that I was and still am enthusiastic about. I quickly learned to keep away from the toxic parts of the fandom and found myself mostly among Ben Solo and Adam Driver fans, romantic souls who obviously expected some Disney-style happy ending. It was nice to exchange thoughts and dive deeper into the saga’s theme together with these fans. The downside was that we all set our hopes high and fed off each other’s energies expecting with too much certainty that Ben would get his happy ending.

And that’s not the worst part.

The most annoying part of the fandom, for me, has become the realm of Reylo fanfiction.

~ more under the cut ~

While I have read some that are very good, by now I am fed up with the probably most common Reylo trope: “poor, tough girl and rich bad boy”. Yes, I know that we read and write fanfiction only for entertainment, but isn’t it going a little too far when in every second Reylo fanfiction you stumble on the Fifty Shades of Grey narrative?

The morals of such stories are more than dubious, you can call me narrow-minded and old fashioned all you want. Poor girl meets guy who is tall, dark and fascinating, finds that sex with him is lots of fun, and the fact that he’s a billionaire doesn’t hurt either. (A millionaire is no longer enough: nowadays to give a girl everything she wants, billions are necessary. I wonder what she could possibly require.) Of course the hero has some dark, distant past, like having killed and tortured people, but that only adds to his fascination. The fact that he wears Armani and drives a Maserati only adds to his charm. Poor girl, not having had a family growing up and no education, has a low inhibition threshold, so she enjoys kinky sex with the bad guy, can’t get away from him because “his tormented soul needs her”, and because the wicked things he did or still does add spice to their sexual relation; besides, he can offer her silk dresses, a brand-new luxury apartment and jewels the size of rocks. Either she’s so poor that she is dazed by all the magnificence, or she’s doing well enough but she will take what she can, even if he did not earn all his money but inherited it or got it the criminal way. Besides, rich boy and his girlfriend don’t have to worry about old socks lying around, empty pantries and overcooked meals, since he can afford plenty of servants for such boring, mundane tasks. Of course she will forgive him and love him - who would let such a magnificent fish slip through her fingers?

Strangely, these stories are seen as highly romantic and interpreted as “love can conquer everything”. In the end, rich boy turns “good” again, they will be together courtesy or her forgiveness, and they can spend the rest of their lives having much more money than any person could reasonably spend in an entire lifetime. Oh well, maybe a few of their friends will get underpaid jobs. The big chunk of the cake is carried away by poor but smart girl who knows how to wrap rich bad boy around her little finger.

These are not only a few bad apples. I have stumbled on this cliché (and stopped reading these fanfictions when I realized where they were going) dozens of times. It doesn’t get better although the sequel trilogy is concluded by now. I don’t even know where the idea came from in the first place, maybe due to Ben being a princess’ son; but we never saw any hint at Ben’s youth and whether he lived in abundance or not. And I’m fed up.

No, wealth should not make a guy attractive.

No, the fact that he’s capable of killing and torturing also shouldn’t make him attractive.

No, if a man you hardly know gives you expensive stuff it’s not a proof of “true love”.

No, it ought not to be fun to have sex with a ruthless guy who just so happens to have a soft spot for you.

No, love is not a magic power that makes everyone better, and most of all, richer.

Those of you who also read fanfiction: have you ever wondered why so many Reylo fanfiction are set in modern times? Right - because it makes it easier to turn Kylo Ren / Ben Solo into a thinly veiled Christian Grey. Or maybe Edward Cullen. In any case, for mysterious reasons average girl meets dream prince not where he’s hiding away in a castle but at Starbucks or McDonald’s - like a billionaire would even go there - “love” takes over and you can imagine the rest without reading it.

And please don’t tell me that this is only fiction and that we can consume kinky stuff responsibly. The stories you read or watch, in particular growing up, have an influence on your mind, no matter how aware you are that they’re not reality. Pornography is no more realistic than a Disney movie. Poor tough girl finding love and happiness with rich bad guy is extremely unlikely to happen. But such stories are consumed over and over and countless girls and women sigh about them, fooling themselves that their minds are too superior to get contaminated. Believe me, they’re not. I have been married a while now and looking back I often shake my head at the stories I used to read and how far detached they were from reality. And yet they made me suffer, because for many years I subconsciously believed that “love” is only real when it happens a certain way.

I’m sorry for Ben Solo, not only because he’s dead but mostly for what many Reylo’s have made of him. I’m beginning to think that maybe he’s better off dead than bestowing diamonds and designer shoes to “Rey’s” who apparently have no other quality except for the fact that they are not afraid of him.

I’m glad the Disney studios have retained enough morals not to have paved the road for more of this mentality. This is not Cinderella or Beauty and the Beast, where the peasant girl marries the prince and they live happily ever after. Ben Solo has a terrible past and that needs to be approached. That he’s dark and brooding and allegedly rich should not make everything he did forgivable. Even if he had no other way to go, he gave in to his frustration by killing many people, including his own father, and believing this would make him stronger. “Love” is not a sponge that wipes away the past. A man was still formed by the life he led before he met the girl, he’s not born again through their love because she has decided to project all of her expectations onto him. This is a toxic and highly unrealistic expectation on the female side, and I wouldn’t want to know how many girls and women have been made unhappy because they believe it.

A main mistake Reylo’s who expected a happy ending made was not to consider that most fans only watch the movies, where we learn little to nothing about Ben Solo’s past. That Palpatine whispered in his head is only hinted at in the third movie; he says his father disappointed him but not why; we never see him talk to his mother; his uncle failed him but that was obviously only the last straw for him. Only reading the novels and comics and interpreting them from Ben’s point of view a fan realizes the tragedy of his situation. Technically, he’s the villain. Yes, it’s of course good that he redeems himself, but it’s not Rey who saves him through her love, there are many factors pushing him back to the Light. His redemption was heavily foreshadowed and he more than earned it. Did he deserve a happy ending with Rey? No. They were very different and they hardly knew one another. She was repeatedly unnecessarily aggressive towards him, and he was the main villain. She did not “deserve him” and he did not “deserve her.”

For very many Reylo’s, all of that seems to make little difference. Both protagonists are sexy, that’s enough. Of course, bad boy from blue blood he must get married to good poor girl. It doesn’t matter if they fit, and how their past was: they must get their happy ending because the cliché says so. Rich sexy guy can’t die, even if he was a ruthless killer who slaughtered innocent and disarmed people for years. Poor tough girl can’t stay alone because she deserves a guy who will do anything for her, even change sides and his whole character, and the fact that he can shower her with jewels doesn’t hurt either. He may be capable of torture and murder, but in the end, he will capitulate and do everything she wants. I don’t even know where to start about how toxic the idea of such a couple dynamic is. Apart from that, it has nothing anymore to do with the sequel’s actual story. Yet by many, it’s apparently seen as „the happy ending we were deprived of”.

I can only speak for myself. But I find these expectations both trite and immoral. There is nothing “romantic” about them and I’m glad nothing came of that in the saga. As long as I only met these tropes in fan stories from time to time I just shrugged them off, but they are getting unbearable. What ideas do so many fanfiction authors have about love? How sick and distorted is it to assume that money and sex are what keeps a couple together? Do two people really need nothing more in common? Can differences in upbringing, attitude and past experiences simply be swept away by passion and diamonds? In a so-called bodice-ripper perhaps. One of the reasons why I like Star Wars is that for all of its mysticism and symbolism, it’s psychologically very realistic.

I would be happy for Ben Solo to get a second chance, and after all, Anakin in a sense had two lives too. It only seems fair. Maybe he could meet Rey again someday and they could give it a new start.

But rich sexy bad guy and poor sexy tough girl riding into the sunset, where a lifetime of kinky sex and tons of wealth are waiting for them?

This is not romantic in the least, it’s capitalism ad absurdum - having More Money Than You Could Ever Spend and Never Having to Lift a Finger Unless for Pleasure, Having Done Nothing to Earn It, except feeling entitled to it for obscure reasons.

No. I’m sorry, dear Reylo’s, but in my opinion both Ben and Rey deserve something more meaningful than that. Ben is better off dead than reduced to a sex fiend with an unlimited credit card; and Rey is better off alone than wearing designer clothes over lace underwear and handcuffs. These ideas are a slap in the face of their dignity and neither romantic nor erotic. They wouldn’t have fitted the Star Wars saga either, and they wouldn’t have been in line with Disney’s moral standards. Maybe the studios had other plans at first, but honestly: if these disgusting tropes don’t get any more fodder than the first two movies already gave them, it’s for the better. I believe young people, in particular young women who read fanfiction, need something different than sex, violence and riches to form their ideas of what love and partnership should look like.

The Jedi didn’t deserve to be wiped out; their mindset deserved it. Ben didn’t deserve to die; what he has become a stand-in for in the eyes of countless female fans can’t die too quickly.

Give Ben Solo another chance? Any time. But please, not like this. And please leave Adam Driver alone, his sexiness is no excuse to morph him into a f*** toy.

Please be respectful in your comments, these are only my personal points of view and no one asks you to agree. Thank you.

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kraiyan · 3 years

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i made my own little headcannons to fit in if michael and jeremy were dating and a bunch of other stuff that i don’t want to spoil so take my headcannons and please don’t pay attention to my overuse of the words ‘so’ and ‘like’

i wrote this headcannons for me in my notes so there are mentions of panic/anxiety attacks, light mentions of an eating disorder, nightmares, and self harm but i’ll just put a trigger warning for when those parts show up and if i missed anything that is triggering please let me know

- michael is trans and gay and jeremy is bisexual

- i think they would’ve been friends since kindergarten so they grew up telling each other EVERYTHING

- i feel like michael was really girly as a kid but in like 6th grade he just completely switched to like tomboy but he didn’t do on purpose it just happened

- then in seventh grade michael told jeremy he wanted to be a boy then after that with help from jeremy he came out to his moms

- michael had a crush in jeremy since 7th grade but i don’t think jeremy was his first crush

- i think since michael was straight when he was a girl he just assumed he was straight as a boy and his sexual awakening was captain sparklez

- michael has two moms and jeremys mom would’ve died in a car accident so it’s just him and his dad

- i imagine they confessed to each other in their second year of high school

- (TW: mentions of abuse) jeremy realized he liked michael in freshman year and it was really bad he could not stop thinking about him so when he got squip squip l would not stop punishing him for it

- so jeremy definitely has some problems with his bisexuality

- after years of pining for each other when they finally kissed jeremy could not stop panicking about it

- like they went to sleep fine but he was internally panicking and he tried to keep it together but the next day he absolutely broke just started sobbing saying over and over again “is this okay, are we okay”

- michael is the type to listen to a vulgar music to help his dysphoria

- so him and jeremy are in his car michael plugs in his phone and just starts singings “hoes want to be seen with me and i like their big thick titties”

- and jeremy can do nothing else but be like michael what the fuck

- they decided to keep their relationship a secret and not tell anyone bc of jeremy still coming to terms with himself and he didn’t think his dad would understand

- but i feel like michael moms had already pieced together that they were dating and jeremy didn’t mind that they knew bc they’re literally lesbians but every time jeremy came over from that point forward they had to keep their door open

-(TW: mention of an eating disorder) in a different angstier au jeremy would struggle with eating as a control thing after squip

- (TW: mention of an eating disorder) in an angstier au michael would have an eating disorder cause dysphoria

- i feel like once he realized he was trans he had really bad dysphoria but like with therapy and stuff he got over it

- so i think michael really liked afycso and had it on a vinyl and now jeremy knows all the words

- they don’t do anything at school because jeremy is still uncomfortable so they just pursuit their relationship between closed doors and michaels car in an empty parking lot

- i feel like they both got really excited when michael got referred to as sir for the first time

- jeremy and michael grew up together but ironically when puberty hit michael started to wear baggy clothes than he wore a binder than he wore super baggy clothes to hide his tits after coming out but during squip he had time to self reflect and work on his dysphoria so when jeremy saw michael outside of school he kinda said TITS and was so caught off guard by them

-(TW: mentions of self harm scars) i think michael has sh scars due to losing his childhood best friend and the whole panic attack in the bathroom thing and jeremys seen them but didn’t bring it up to michael because they’re fading so he obviously doesn’t do it anymore but it was a huge shock for jeremy to find out

- they never brought it up tho and it was never discussed bc who cares it was in the past

- michael pants his nails black and i think on some very rare occasion jeremy would paint his nails too (like the way karl paint his) and michael has lots of nail polish cuz on the rare occasion he paints his nails different colors and he repainted his nails every two weeks

- no matter how many times michael has changed in the same room as jeremy even let jeremy help take off his binder jeremy will never not get shy when he changes and will always ask to go into another room

- jeremy is a coffee person but not hot coffe because he always drinks it too early and burns his tongue

- he originally bought his hoodie™️ in really huge size to battle dysphoria but that just made the hoodie last for years

- jeremys name in michaels phone is something very gay and lovey and shit and michaels name on jeremys phone is just michael :)

- jeremy would come home all suspicious and and red faced after him and michael came from an empty parking lot that his dad would not stop begging him to meet this girlfriend of his

- i don’t think jeremy told his dad him and michael were playing a game or something and they kiss jeremys dad comes in and is like what 😦

-and his dad is shocked that he has been pushing girlfriend but he has a boyfriend and is just soooooo awkward about it and never sees michael the same but never makes any rules about them bc he doesn’t want to be homophobic 😭

- i don’t think he was really not supportive but it took him a bit to get used to it but it was so new to him and he was just so phased he just kinda talked to jeremy about his sexuality then left it at that

- they are like gendebend bubbline (marshal lee and the other one yk)

- michael has a queen vinyl the listen to a lot

- so i think michael would still smoke a bit and one time he convinced jeremy to do it with him and jeremy mainly coughed a lot then they just made out the rest of the time but they didn’t tell their parents they would be staying out after school and they both got in trouble

- michael gets blue raspberry and jeremy gets cherry but he also gets coke sometimes too (slushy flavors)

- at the beginning of their relationship they had to take it really slow so that jeremy would feel coqmfortable

- (TW: mentions of panic attacks) so jeremy has nightmares of squip and he wakes up having panic attacks and it’s really tiring bc he only gets 2 hours of sleep if he has these nightmares

- (TW: mentions of panic attacks) i feel like along with his nightmares he also had panic attacks that squip would punish him for pursuing a relationship with a guy let alone michael

- so after he got over his nightmares he just struggled with sleeping and nighttime in general like just fear around going to sleep

- so he often stayed up alll night to avoid sleeping and would like go to bed at 6 or on a good day 4 or 5

- so i think to get over his fear he had to make a routine first he would make some sort of hot drink or just water (mostly sleepy time tea) then he would text michael that he was going to sleep he also wears the same pajamas every time he goes to sleep just to make sure the routine really works then lastly he reads a comic book then he goes to bed

- i think the reason jeremy couldn’t sleep well after getting over the nightmares is because even if squip doesn’t haunt him enough to show up in his dreams anymore it still haunts him enough to stress him out constantly so he doesn’t sleep well

- to conclude the nightmare and sleeping saga jeremy basically has a night routine and sleeps with a night light

- i feel like they both go to therapy but we’re to scared to tell each other (and they both started going to therapy before they started dating)

- so fast forward they’re dating and are trying to plan a date and jeremys like i’m busy on monday at 1 and my dad needs me to help him with something on tuesday so how about wednesday at 3 and michaels like i have somewhere to be like at 3:30 and jeremys like where do you have to be and michaels like where do YOU have to be and so they count to three and say where they’re going to be and they both say therapy and then they’re like you go to therapy i think that would be so cute

- so michael has really thick glasses like his vision is awful so if jeremy is mad at michael he would wake up early and move his glasses over so michael would have to struggle to get out of bed and look for them with his poor ass vision

- he can see things right in front of his face but as soon as it moves a bit too far it’s blurry

- and speaking of his galsses if they’re really kissing along the way jeremy would take of his glasses so they could get closer to each other’s faces (like how elle and tao do in heartstopper )

- michael and jeremy have been friends way too long to not have practiced kissing with each other

- i think christine was a long time crush for jeremy so he definitely practiced kissing michael a lot since they were in 6th grade and michael was just soaking that shit up

- he’d be like what if she wants to make out we should practice that and jeremys like oh yeah you’re right and michael would be so freaking happy

- but they definitely got caught by jeremys dad and he laughed it off cause what else are you meant to when your 11 year old son and his 12 year old best friend are kissing each other

- they didn’t do it anymore after that cause they were soooooooooo embarrassed

- so i don’t talk about the rest of the characters but i’m about to make a headcannon including them so i’m gonna say my headcannons

- so chole is demisexual and panromantic

- brooke is a lesbian

- rich is bisexual and trans

- jake is pan

- jenna is questioning or straight

- and christine is aro/ace

- so i think jeremy and christine dated for a bit then christine broke up with him cause she was all like i can see the way you look at michael and also because she realized she was feeling intense platonic attraction not romantic

- and also i think they’re all friends so they have a group chat where they send homework answers and stuff

- so i think one time jeremy is doing his nighttime routine but this particular night he’s really tired so he texts michael goodnight bby <3 love u then skips the comic book reading and goes to bed but he sent it to their group chat so as soon as he got situated into bed all he hears is his phone going off so he has to check and it’s just everyone freaking out

- so he like fully sits up is looking at his phone in complete shock then realizes he never said a name so they are like who’s this mystery girl

- so he calls michael tells him about the situation then decides he’s ready to come out

- so the next day they’re more handsy then usual like jeremy wiped something off his face michael saw that he was cold and pulled him real close and their friends are like okayyyyy

- but mind you christine knew that jeremy liked michael so she knew exactly what was happening

- so at the end of the day their friend group is making plans to hang out but everyone was busy so jeremy goes well i’ll see you guys tomorrow waves at everyone kisses michael then starts walking to his house then michaels like yea i’m gonna head home to and like drives away and from that day forward their friends would not stop teasing them and were impressed they could keep there secret for so long

- so i feel like michaels moms both have jobs that run late so mom #1 is an er nurse and mom #2 is an account so this leaves michael a lot of time of being alone in his house so naturally you need to take advantage

- so one time mom #2 gets home and walks in just to see jeremy fully on the counter making out with her son

- i don’t think they got in trouble but his mom was like please not on the counter

- and then there was another time where mom #1 came home on her break cause she doesn’t live far from the er so she like yells to michael that she’s home

- and so naturally you come down to hug your mom so he comes down to greet his mom with a red faced jeremy behind him and his mom thought this was so fucking funny but as soon as she’s done laughing she immediately goes anytime jeremys over the doors open and that was the end of it

- everyone has this one thing that someone does that make them all blushy and stuff

- for jeremy it’s when michael wears fitting clothes cause michael is known to wear hoodies or just baggy clothes in general so when michael does get hot and needs to like put something on he puts on one of those body fitting v necks and jeremy losses his shit like he’s fully blushing and avoiding eye contact and since michael changed cause he was hot he’s sure that jeremy is so hot that his face is turning red and he’s embarrassed to say to take off his cardigan so the entire time jeremy is being full homo for his boyfriend michael is thinking he’s about to pass out from a heat stroke

- so i think jeremy enjoys this so much that for the first week of spring michael will only wear fitted clothes because jeremy loves it

- for michael it’s when he’s kissing jeremys neck and jeremy runs his hand thru his hair and pulls it a little when this happens michael loses all common sense one because jeremys enjoying himself so much that he has to kinda tug on michaels hair and two he’s enjoying it so much he doesn’t have time to think that squip is going to punish him and that makes michael just lose his mind so by the time they’ve pulled apart jeremy as sooooo many hickies and they both look at each other like what the fuck did we just do

- moving right along i feel like when jeremy wakes up at night and is terrified to go back to sleep if him and michael are sleeping together he will like hug him until he gets back to sleep and it works every time

- when they were like 7 jeremy got really sick with the flu and michael was so scared that he was going to die so he kissed him while he was sleeping because if his best friend was gonna die so was he and the next day he got really sick with the flu and jeremy would not stop crying because he thought that since michael refused to leave his side he got him sick…they’re idiots

- jeremy is the type to go to school with the worst fever ever he could throw up in the middle of the school day and still not go to the nurse and if he got sick during junior year forget it you had to strap him down to his bed if you wanted him to take a day off like michael had to sedecue him into staying in bed and taking medication so that he could feel better

#be more chill #boyf riends #bmc #bmc headcanons #bmc michael #bmc jeremy

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marie-eve-anne · 2 years

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I Start Off Life As Little Miss Perfect

French Empire Lives into the Modern Day AU aka Marie Eve Anne Saga AU

Summary: Marie Eve Anne meets a man she actually likes for once.

If you want to be a girl like me, it’s impossible. Obviously. It’s not like anyone can just be anyone. If you think that’s what I’m talking about, you are so wrong. I meant by if you can be scary and cute at the same time. And also good at almost everything adults throw at you.

Little buggers like me could give you a headache when you stay around long enough. And if you somehow find yourself in these pages, dream on. You have no idea what’s going to happen to you.

Let me introduce myself at first before I start this disaster.

My name is Marie Eve Anne. I am six years old.

For some of you who were definitely wondering, ‘Oh, who's this? Welly's daughter?’ No. This may sound like its rubbish, but it’s real. I am NOT Arthur Wellesley's daughter. I may look like it, but if you zoom in, you can see it. Yeah, yeah, we have the same eyes, but hey, there are a lot of people who have blue-grey eyes.

And why would Arthur have a daughter at that old age? If you think ‘Oh, cool!’ then stop daydreaming.

So anyways, my life began on the 18th of June. Waterloo Day! What a coincidence! My dad was Napoleon Francois Bonaparte, aka the Duke of Reichstadt, Napoleon II, whatever you wanna call him. My mom is Maria Teresa von Rothschild, and she was a rich Jewish lady. Like, THE RICHEST.

Dad couldn't get away from court, and Mom was busy with her family. So their relationship resembled Hades and Persephone, if it's not obvious. I had to stay with my dad in Vienna, since surprise! I am the granddaughter of Napoleon Bonaparte himself. Any crazy royalist or republican would have eyes on me and my father the moment we get out of the city. At least we could walk around Vienna outside Schönbrunn Palace.

Today, it was the 3rd of December. It wasn't snowing as heavily as Russia, but it was snowing. I felt the cold coming in. Currently, it was past sunset, but the streetlights around Vienna were illuminating the snow very well, so I could see it. Snowflakes were pouring down from the sky, forming light mounds of snow. I was watching this from a hall balcony. I'd rather not go to another one of those boring balls by my caretakers. What does a kid like me have to do there? I would just fade into the background, since I had nothing to do. Unlike the adults who somehow find enjoyment in being completely stale. Don't talk to me about my grandma. She opts to stay in her lovely house in Parma, where she has no idea how disliked she is.

It's been at least fifteen minutes after the ball started. The hall was starting to get noisy. And there I singlehandedly ruined a party by not being there in the first place. Talk about absence. If I'm there, they'll just ignore me. If I'm not, chaos erupts. I am the useless organ in the human body, yet some people make a fuss about it if its not there. You might think, Oh, poor girl! Don't pity me. I'm used to this. Ever since I was three, I've been ignored.

Anyway, there were these two soldier men who usually stood guard at the doors, were off looking for me. It was like they were blind or near-sighted, because I was at a close window, but these two were frantically running around like idiots looking for an elephant. I was four feet tall. Anyone clear-sighted could see me there. It was becoming annoying, so I whistled. They immediately turned around. "You were looking for me?"

"Ah, yes! The Chancellor was looking for you!" One of them said. I was feeling like he'll come right in front of me. He's going to say: "Now, what are you doing?" In his stupid voice I don't want to hear. Even though he's agreeable, I can't help but not like him, at all.

After a few minutes of waiting, that man finally came down the hall. He appeared in formal attire, his hair styled perfectly, and even though it was so short, it didn't need all of that fancy styling powdered wigs had. And also, those things are outdated. Does he want his head lopped off? He was conservative, so it will be eventually, I think.

"Now, what are you doing?" Called it.

"Watching the snow." I answered him softly. This man's good side was most definitely the best thing you want out of this whole city, aside from my grandparents' money.

"Aside from that, why are you not at the ball tonight?"

I answered accordingly. "I prefer to look at the snow and stars tonight." I wasn't lying. I really did prefer looking at snow than attending a party where I can't possibly exist. "But you belong there tonight. Archduchess Sophie is looking for you as well." Oh yes. Archduchess Sophie. Aside from being there for her children, she was also there for her guests. Mostly guests. And also, are trying to gaslight me?

"Where is she?" I asked.

"Still in the ballroom. Looking for you." As if I'd believe that. She's probably entertaining guests. "May we then?" I held his arm, and we walked back to the ballroom.

The music was the only thing in the ballroom that was fine to me. It might've looked extravagant. Pretty. To you and I. If only it wasn't ruined by the number of shallow nobles around, who think their position is totally natural and they don't have to work for their lives to be perfect. Another reason why I don't like parties. Who wants to be stuck in a room with too many idiots? But then I noticed the absurd amount of people waiting near the main door. Was someone coming?

"Ah, there you are, my darling!" She was trying to be sweet with me. Emphasis on trying.

"What's the occasion? Why is everyone standing so close to the door?" She smiled, though I could tell that she was trying to be civil. Because she doesn't smile much. Sophie held my hand. "Someone special is visiting. We're lucky we found you early!" Says the woman who let me wander around on my own to watch the snow.

After this conversation, the doors opened. The crowd stayed silent, while the music continued. There was an old man in the middle. He was old, but he looked strong enough for one. An army man, I think. Looking closer, he had blue-gray eyes, sharp but intelligent. They looked tired, almost. "Who is he?" I asked Sophie.

"My, it is the Duke of Wellington! He's come to Vienna." I felt stupid.

I saw his portraits, when he was way younger. Despite his old age, though, something about it felt kind of sad. Yeah, I know, growing old sucks, but there was also the tinge of unhappiness floating around the air. Sophie, along with Metternich and I, greeted the Duke formally. Nobody but me could then ask the next question. I was a kid, so sue me.

"Who are you?" I meant by his name, not his title.

"My name?" He asked. Wow. He picked up quick.

"Arthur's my name. You may call me that, if you wish." As he said so, he looked a little lonelier. Now that I see his eyes closer, he looked even more so. His eyes were sad and kind of empty, as if he just stared into the depths of despair.

"Your name, darling?"

"Eve." I said shortly. I always preferred to be called by my middle name. Seems more honest.

"Eve is your name, dear?" He didn't clearly hear me, I think. He was old, after all.

"Yes, sir." I politely responded.

This conversation would've been longer if it weren't for a man named Metternich. "Perhaps we should converse, Your Grace?"

"Ah, yes. What is it?"

"Why have you come to Vienna in such short notice?"

His eyes shifted from sad to glad. "My friend, Sir Arbuthnot, has told me my tiredness taking its toll. A vacation to Vienna would most certainly be ideal." What? Because I was here?

I ignored the rest of that conversation, and just stood idly in the ballroom. There wasn't anything to do at all. But now that I'm here, I can't get out because of Sophie. Still, I wanted to meet that man again. He was looking down at me the whole time.

Someone apparently sent me a letter after the ball. It said:

"It has been of curious intent, and it is most certainly unruly. I wish to see you in private. The northern wing. The corridors you were watching through. Metternich had told me.

-Sir Arthur Wellesley"

Huh. That's strange. He referred to himself as his own name. Maybe he was being friendly, since I was a child, after all. I wanted to come, of course. But maybe this man thought I could get away by myself.

This was perhaps the kick-start of my new life. How? He wanted to talk.

#marie eve anne #arthur wellesley #duke of wellington #klemens von metternich #european history #historical fanfic

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coffeebeannate · 4 years

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Nate Watches Things: A Saga

Or in this case, one thing. One thing that was far too long of a thing, but such a bizarre venture that I felt rather compelled to put an actual review of said thing together.

Why? Because I can and because others HAVE to experience this..this journey. A nice lil journey called Die Pfeiler der Macht/ A Dangerous Fortune. And I watched it solely because Luca looks cute in Victorian clothes, and I was intrigued by the gifs.

Curiosity has always been such a great human motivator, eh?

And..guys. I just. I don’t know what the 3-4 hours (it’s two movies, and I took a couple days to watch it) WERE, exactly, but they were..a thing? I know that it’s based on a book by Ken Follett and that this production is German. Despite being based in England.

Oh, and Luca’s character Mickey Miranda, is uh, Spanish. Make of that what you will.

So the summary is this:

A shocking secret behind a young boys death leads to three generations of treachery in this breathtaking saga of love, power and revenge, set amid the wealth and decadence of Victorian England.

And no it does not do this thing justice whatsoever.

Review under the cut. It’s too long *again, two movies here*, and I took far too many screencaps of this absolute wtfery, and uh, it’s probably better suited for a real-time live blog but nah. You can have this instead.

Some images under the cut are NSFW because nefarious boning is a key point in this..thing.

SPOILERS. So many spoilers. This thing is a spoiler fest. The caps have a very obvious Luca bias, I know why we’re here everyone. Hehe. There’s also some triggering stuff in this thing, so be warned there too.

BEHOLD:

So, a point I want to make is that the costuming in this movie is LEGIT. If absolutely nothing else works? Note that the costuming absolutely does.

The opening credits are very nice, Luca’s very pretty, this cap serves purely to showcase that because I’m a very serious man doing a very serious review.

Pretty.

So the beginning is..confusing. We have a girl, Maisie Robinson. (Around 10-13 here?) Her father is very poor and it’s her and her two siblings. He works for a man who is part of our main characters, the Pilasters? and they run this bank. The head of the bank commits suicide, since they’re having financial troubles and he cannot repay his workers. He pens a note to his young son *under 12 at this point*, Hugh.

Hugh never finds out about this letter, but anyway. At the moment, it’s 1866. Maisie’s father was one of those employees. Destitute, he leaves Maisie to..raise her siblings, and goes to America.

We never hear from this man again.

Hugh goes to live with his aunt (Augusta/Augustina?), uncle Joseph, and cousins, Edward and Clara.

THEN IT’S 1877 (we jump ten years)

Maisie’s two siblings have died, and she has a daughter, Rachel now. Who is also dying. This movie is very keen on people dying. I’d also like to point out that there is like, endless plots all happening alongside one another, and it took me until mid-way into part two to even really grasp what the main plot is.

The movie has a LOT of bank talk as well. I cannot express this earnestly enough, there is SO MUCH bank chatter. SO MUCH. This thing does not have to be as long as it is but again, bank stuff.

Anyway, the one plot is that Maisie is from the poor area, she’s had a horrible life and has struggled from day one. She’s in a constant battle with Hugh, and they argue a lot. A lot. (They like each other, they met as kids, but they’re from very different worlds. Hugh has money, she doesn’t, but Hugh has suffered as well and basically it’s your normal class struggle social commentary thing).

Maisie and Hugh in 1866, as kids, after Maisie’s father left for America. This is the funeral for Hugh’s father. So that’s the theme I mean.

Anywho.

Back in 1877, this is Samuel *left*, Joseph *middle* and Edward. The Pilaster’s get marched into work like they’re freaking army Captain’s and not just rich ass bankers. Imagine saluting your CEO. At work. Outside of the military. WHERE IS THIS A THING? Maybe this was a thing in Victorian England I have no clue I’ve certainly never come across it in my studies. Ffs.

Anyway.

So while all this is going on, there’s this man that wants to marry Maisie.

And his name is,

(That’s Rachel, Maisie’s daughter). Anyway, Solly here loves Maisie and wants to marry her. But Maisie loves Hugh, and neither of them realize this yet. Solly is a himbo and we mostly like him, but stay tuned because that doesn’t stick. Sorta. Depends on how-

Nevermind I’ll just keep going.

ANYWAY, more plot.

Here’s Edward again, doing drugs, being gay, and overall..useless. Edward is..Edward is kind of like a person who would make an interesting wall decoration. Fun enough to look at, but utterly freaking hopeless, and useless, and so dumb. Just so dumb. This character is given the substance of ash fault. Kinda like, only vaguely solid enough to be entertaining. Kinda.

I don’t know guys, BUT LOOK!

It’s his good old pal Mickey! And he’s slapped Edward awake out of his drug coma (okay he grabs his face and shakes him rather than slapping but given how much slapping happens in the rest of this movie I think I can be forgiven) and he has PLOTS.

Mostly it’s his dads plot, but it’s a plot. A very devious scheme and he needs our favourite wallpapers assistance!

(Sorry Edward, but it’s true)

So keeping in mind that the ‘theme’ of this movie is bone-and-soul crushing sadness paired with periods of intense chaos and insanity that you never see coming, our plots continue to thicken.

What Mickey means here, is that Edward’s family denied Mickey’s father what he wanted *weapons deal*, and beat the crap out of Mickey in a carriage. But that’s fine that’s fine Mickey is not deterred! BECAUSE.

*sigh*

So.

OK.

This scene.

Remember what I said about how this movie goes from being incredibly boring to so off the walls bonkers without actually WARNING YOU that it is going to do this? Yeah.

Edward, you see, really does not ‘do’ women. He’s gay. He’s extremely gay. Edward’s mother wants him to marry Florence Stalworthy for idk rich people reasons.

So..Mickey. Uh. Mickey’s solution is..this.

What is this, you ask??

Fuck if I know.

Anyway, no, uhm. This is a brothel. So (not) pictured here (I can’t post the scene on tumblr guys we have a ban) is Edward on a couch across from mask-and-feathers MIckey and this tied down woman, with another woman who is not tied down. And this is Mickey..showing Edward..how to.have sex with women. Apparently. Sort of. His lesson falls very flat. It is not a good scene, Mickey’s ‘instructions’ get increasingly louder, and he at one point makes this noise that sounds like a Joker laugh.

It is...it’s something.

(Also note there’s some extremely uncomfortable, misogynistic name-calling on Mickey’s part here..so yeah).

Oh, and it doesn’t convince Edward. At all. IMAGINE.

Around all this time, the Hugh/Maisie/Solly plot is also ongoing. And that also encompasses bar fighting (bare knuckles boxing and wrestling I think? And gambling)

Hugh has gambling debt we’ll get back to this. (He’s also obsessed with getting Russian bonds into the bank, again, the banking plot losses me a LOT)

So meanwhile, Mickey meets up with Edward’s mother.

But why Edward’s mother, you ask??

Well. *sigh*. Something I didn’t mention earlier is that Mickey likes Ed’s mum. A lot. A lot a lot. Mickey wants to take that woman to town and then some, is a very basic way of me putting it and-

Fuck it. Mickey wants to bang Ed’s mum. BADLY.

(She’s not opposed either, at all)

So their little scheme here is that Ed’s mum wants Ed to take control of the bank, but with the father-in-law alive, that’s not going to happen. So they’re plotting to take down the next person in charge who would succeed said father in law, (Samuel) who is in a relationship with the secretary mentioned above, Michael.

Yes, another GODDAMNED PLOT.

(Samuel is fairly unpleasant like all of these people, so I don’t feel that bad for him. He also kinda treats Michael like garbage, and is called out for this by Joseph later in the movie)

So the scheme here is to get rid of the father-in-law, and get Ed married. Cake walk!

(Also, while ALL THIS is going on, Mickey’s got his own mini-plot about doing these things for his father, the weapons and stuff but we don’t actually find out about the main goal of that whole thing till the end, you’ll see)

Oh, and since we’ve not had a good dose of ‘WHAT THE FUCK’ lately, Solly proposes to Maisie with an honest-to-god Alice in Wonderland party.

Yeah.

Meet the Mad Hatter! He’s a guide, he says nothing. Other people are in costume too, but you know-I have enough caps as it is.

So anyway, Maisie and Solly get engaged, Maisie and Hugh meet up at some point and bang instead.

And while that’s happening, Edward is convinced by Mickey to marry Florence.

So he does.

Lookit this shit faced smug ass grin.

(Also ahead is Samuel again, and Hugh)

BUT THEN the bank finds out about Hugh’s gambling debts. So he leaves. Taking his cousin Clara (Edward’s teenage sister-at her insistence) to the USA. And just like Maisie’s dad, another man abandons her for the States.

So the father in law is still alive, so!

It’s murder time.

Perfect wedding time event yeah?

So Mickey murders the father-in-law. (He jumps on him, suffocates him with a pillow, gets caught by Augusta and then they do this..weird ‘tensely make the bed thing’)

Murdered.

And then, exactly five seconds or so later..

Nothing like some murder pre-boning with the dead guy two feet away amiright?

Anyway at this point I was just:

And yelling at my ceiling. Not pictured.

I was a Hannibal fan and I STILL went !?!?!?

END PART ONE.

Part two starts out in 1912, and then cuts back to 1882. So in this messy timeline, note it has been six years since part one. And Hugh is married now to Nora, an American singer, and Clara is older and pregnant. (Father is never determined, but he’s a married man and that’s why Clara didn’t stay)

SO the three of them are returning home. Maisie and Solly have a son, David, and Maisie is depressed and distant, so Solly is the one who spends all the time with David. He’s shown as a legit good dad and it’s quite cute watching them.

(The kids Hugh’s, btw, he and Maisie both know this, Hugh does not, it’s revealed dramatically later but we still have so many plots)

Edward and Florence are childless. Edward doesn’t sleep with her. Everyone knows this.

(At this point I kept asking myself when this would end, I cannot stress how LONG this thing feels at times)

So Hugh and Nora meet up with Maisie and Solly, and they chat and there’s more love plots, more bank plots and a masquerade party where at some point Maisie thinks a little girl at the party is Rachel (who died in the end of part one, sorry!) and there’s a fire and Maisie and Hugh make out and Nora and Solly are both upset and it’s a whole thing.

Samuel now does something of a side business that’s unspecified with Michael, and pregnant Clara is being persued by the only man who might be a good match for her (she’s not keen on getting married. But he’s also..really old.) PLOTS.

And Mickey and Augusta are..still a thing. And Edward being chlidless is becoming an issue. So what is the solution dear friends??

*BANGS HEAD INTO A WALL*

Why the fuck not.

Absolutely flawless! Eddie will NEVER notice.

SO with this plan in motion, Mickey sets out to seduce Florence, Eddie’s neglected wife. He starts in a church, and I have to admit, this one line he gives is quite funny.

“I don’t go to church.”

Cannot begin to imagine why.

Also, around this time is when we get the infamous scene about how he fcked the wives of the three men and then made the guys suck his dick one by one. I didn’t cap that since it’s in gif form, but yeah.

Hugh and Solly and Nora and Maisie are still having their love issues. And there is still bank stuff as all this is going down.

But while on his Florence quest, we see Mickey beat up a guy who was abusing a small boy, and Florence see’s him do this as well and:

He looks so baffled.

‘Me? GOOD? I really don’t think so.”

She’s also holding a baby, and he gives the infant this face:

“Eugh, what is that?”

He also finds her in church again at some point and comes alongside her like this:

”Sup? Whatcha prayin’ about?”

Anyway, while doing all this, he’s still having some issues. He needs Eddie’s signature for a bank transfer (for his father, his father’s plot is STILL a THING) and so it is time to seduce someone ELSE. This time it’s Edward. This won’t be hard. Edward wants him so bad you could probably see it from fucking space.

Mickey is well aware of this.(I don’t think it’s one sided either, he looks at Edward all wide eyed half the time, but he’s so manipulative it’s hard to judge).

Actually me right now tbh.

So that’s this followed by the infamous gif set.

Edward takes him up on it.

‘Come along my dear there’s nefarious boning to be done’.

Absolutely vital screencap below (which is the most we get anyway and I didn’t cap the line about the freaking signature because fuck plots over nice images okay)

Vital

Anyway Edward gives him the bloody signature. And then Mickey goes along to talk to Augusta. But at this point Mickey is very much beginning to unravel. His goal seems to be more centralized to finishing whatever long ass convoluted job his father has been making him do for the last six years (possibly more tbh) and he’s sort of done with everything.

And Edward see’s this exchange. Le. Oof.

SO! IN BETWEEN ALL THIS. There’s some party where there’s drama and then basically Nora..willing gives up Hugh so he can be with Maisie and Solly just..I don’t even know, single dad for life and all. Edward knows that his family has basically been doing shit all around him, and Mickey STILL seduces Florence. He has her meet him outside that night at two am and they get together, but when he’s with her he kinda has these doubts but she wants him anyway so they bang.

Yeesh.

AFTER that there’s Edward again, because Edward knows shit is up, Mickey goes to a room to grab a bag and see’s Edward there. He tells Edward goodbye, but Edward pulls a gun. Mickey just...drops the bag, tells him to shoot. Edward doesn’t, instead he turns the gun on himself and then Mickey shoots himself in a chair.

Yeah.

DEATH! SADNESS! REMEMBER-THIS MOVIE LOVES DEAD PEOPLE~!

At some point in all this, Augusta goes to her daughter, Clara, apologies for being an absolutely evil mother for her entire life and then the movie sort of begins to wrap up.

Maisie and David were going to leave for the States together, but David wants to stay with Solly, who well DID raise him despite him being Hugh’s kid. So Maisie and Hugh are alone and David lives with Solly and the Pilaster bank has discovered the ACTUAL FREAKING PLOT OF MICKEY’S DAD AND THE ENTIRE BACKGROUND THING. Which was this:

THIS DIDN’T NEED TO BE ALMOST FOUR HOURS, GERMANY.

SO Hugh lets the mob inside. We don’t see what happens after that, but Augusta comes in to tell Joseph Edward shot himself.

Lots of sadness.

So the movie ends in 1912, with David and Hugh meeting up. David never saw Maisie again *she’s deceased now, as is Solly.* they talk, there is some moral lesson or something about love. The goddamned end.

OOF.

SO overall?

I don’t know.

It’s a movie. It has a script and plot and..it was put on screen? The costumes are legitimately amazing. They might be the best thing about this thing. But it REALLY feels like Ken really wanted to make a movie about banking, noticed that’d be boring and tried to make it spicy.

It’s so bizarre. So depressing. So many people are horrible. So many bad things happen. So much slapping, so much weirdness. There’s nothing happy in this thing. Not one. The so called ‘good’-ish ending falls flat amongst a sea of depression and I re-iterate, IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE SO LONG.

I distinctly recall lots of clock watching at times, wondering how I could POSSIBLY have more to go. It then goes so completely off the rails that you just don’t know what is happening and it’s just WEIRD.

At times that weirdness makes it fun, but overall it’s really not great. I probably would never rewatch it, and I can say that it’s an uh, experience in movie-watching.

A good one? I don’t know. But an experience, none the less.

#a dangerous fortune #nate reviews things #nate reviewing #look don't expect coherency here ya'll this thing is A TRIP #long post #too many screenshots #am i legit posting this thing at quarter to four in the morning #yes because i dont want my drafts to eat it askjdnkas #i'll just rebagel later in the day if needed ok

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watusichris · 4 years

Text

A Mile or Two in Joe South’s Shoes

My 2016 Joe South career retrospective, restored from Internet Purgatory.

**********

If you know anything about the true breadth of Joe South’s talents, it’s remarkable to consider that if he is known for anything at all today, it’s for just two songs.

For a hot minute in 1969-70, South looked like he was on the way to a major career. “Games People Play,” the tune that introduced him to the public at large, rose to No. 12 on the national singles chart; a radio ubiquity, it captured two Grammy Awards in 1970, as song of the year and best contemporary song. A year after that breakout hit, he rose to the same chart slot with the stomping, soulful “Walk a Mile in My Shoes,” a number that would be covered in short order by Elvis Presley.

After those two signature songs, Joe South pretty much disappeared off the American pop landscape. It was an astonishing vanishing act, for, in terms of sheer reach and ability, he came as close to genius as a musician can get. He was one of those cats who could do it all.

He wrote almost all of his own material; before his late-‘60s emergence, he had already made his mark writing for others – most notably fellow Georgian Billy Joe Royal – and one of his songs, “Rose Garden,” became one of the biggest country hits of 1970-71 in Lynn Anderson’s hands.

South had all the chops to put across his material. He was a terrific, expressive baritone vocalist. Perhaps more importantly, he was a dynamite guitar player who had honed his craft as an A-list session man in New York and Nashville. And he knew his way around the studio booth, too. He produced nearly all of his own records, and they were big, opulent sides, dressed with strings, horns, and chorales (in the manner of Chet Atkins’ countrypolitan sessions, Atlantic Records’ castanet-snapping R&B outings, and Phil Spector’s Wall of Sound). Yet at the core of South’s early records was the gutbucket sound produced by his family band, the Believers.

Though you could broadly categorize South’s music as “pop,” there was nothing weak or watered-down about his stuff. Like any musician who grew up in the South, he was reared on country music, and all his singing and picking reflected those roots. His style also had a strong R&B backbone and backbeat – not surprising, since one of his early hits as a songwriter, “Untie Me,” was for the Atlanta beach music act the Tams. And he could rock hard, and was unafraid to use the studio tools at his disposal for up-to-the-minute effects: Many of South’s most interesting tracks are overtly psychedelic.

Joe South was primed to go places – almost anywhere he wanted to go, really – but a predisposed dislike for the necessities of the music business, the usual rock ‘n’ roll pitfalls of drugs and alcohol, and, most critically, a devastating family tragedy knocked him out of the game when a brilliant career appeared his for the taking.

He was born Joseph Souter in Atlanta in 1940. His family was attuned to music and the arts: His father played guitar and mandolin, and his mother wrote poetry. He began playing guitar at an early age, while his younger brother Tommy took up the drums. Like many Southern households, the Souters tuned in to the Grand Ole Opry on Nashville’s WSM, as well as the popular local DJ Uncle Eb Brown on WGST.

“Brown” was the air name of Bill Lowery, who had been a mover and shaker in Atlanta’s music community since the early ‘50s as a broadcaster, station executive, and music publisher. It’s said that in an attempt to advance his musical aspirations, young Joe Souter boldly went to visit Lowery during his radio shift. No doubt impressed by his spunk, Lowery took the wannabe performer under his wing. One of his first pieces of advice was that Souter should change his name to the regionally reflective Joe South.

Beginning a professional and personal relationship that would survive for nearly five decades, Lowery brought 18-year-old college dropout South on board at his new independent record label, National Recording Corporation. The young picker was at first employed as a member of NRC’s house band, which also included the future recording stars Jerry Reed and Ray Stevens.

South began cutting singles in his own right for NRC, in varying pop, rock ‘n’ roll, and rockabilly settings. His lone chart record for the company came in 1958: “The Purple People Eater Meets the Witch Doctor,” a sort-of-sequel to two recent novelty smashes, Sheb Wooley’s “Purple People Eater” and David Seville’s “Witch Doctor.” Bouncing onto the chart briefly at No. 47, it was the only bright spot during his time on the label, which went bankrupt in 1961.

He continued to work as a performer, cutting singles unprofitably for the indies Fairlane and AllWood and for MGM, the former home of Hank Williams. But he began to hone his chops as a behind-the scenes player with his writing, playing, and production. He made his first mark with “Untie Me,” which became a No. 12 entry on the U.S. R&B charts in 1962.

He made his biggest impact in 1965-67 as writer and producer of Marietta, Georgia-born Billy Joe Royal’s hits on Columbia Records. Their partnership was announced with the propulsive poor-boy-loves-rich-girl saga “Down in the Boondocks,” which climbed to No. 9 in 1965. Royal road-tested such other South compositions as “Leanin’ On You,” “Rose Garden,” “Yo-Yo,” and “Hush.” The latter track reached No. 52 on the Hot 100 in 1967, but became better known in a 1968 cover by British hard rockers Deep Purple.

South also left his imprint via several noteworthy sessions. He played guitar on Simon & Garfunkel’s first bona fide electric sessions, which became the bestselling 1966 folk-rock album Sounds of Silence. He contributed guitar and bass during the Nashville recording dates for Bob Dylan’s groundbreaking two-LP 1966 set Blonde On Blonde. And in 1967, in the company of FAME Studio’s crack Alabama rhythm section, he laid down the signature guitar licks on Aretha Franklin’s hit “Chain of Fools.”

By 1968, Joe South had little left to prove, and Bill Lowery helped midwife a deal for his protégé at Capitol Records, already the home of such progressive pop-country talent as Glen Campbell and Bobbie Gentry. South was given extraordinary latitude for his first album: He produced the collection, wrote all of the material, and played lead guitar, backed by the Believers, a group that included his brother Tommy on drums and his wife, Barbara, on keyboards.

The resultant LP, Introspect, is an impressive piece of work that didn’t sound quite like anything else on the market. It was a widescreen sound, immense and layered, but at bottom down-home and funky. It drew from several stylistic tributaries. Its lead-off track “All My Hard Times” was an updated rewrite of the old spiritual “All My Trials.” The mocking “Redneck” was a loping countrified lampoon that can be seen as an early anthem of the New South; “These Are Not My People” was an alienated piece of similarly styled, Dylanesque social commentary. The strikingly trippy “Mirror of Your Mind” bore a startling out-of-time passage in its middle, while the equally expansive “Gabriel” was a psychedelic parable cut straight out of the Old Testament.

As great and unique as it was, Introspect was a marketplace failure, and Capitol’s accountants yanked it off the market just as a single drawn from it was beginning to make some noise.

Sporting a unique lead guitar line -- fabricated by South on either, depending on which source you believe, a Coral electric sitar or a Gibson Bell guitar fed through an outboard Echorette echo unit -- and a lyrical hook derived from the title of Eric Berne’s 1964 pop-psychology bestseller, “Games People Play” became a slow-rolling hit. Realizing they may have deleted Introspect prematurely, Capitol decided to capitalize on the song with a hybrid new album.

The Games People Play album – essentially a second debut album for South – resuscitated the title track, “These Are Not My People,” and, in an expanded psyched-up version, the song “Birds of a Feather” (which would appear on three of South’s six Capitol collections). To these were added a couple of new originals (including “Hole in Your Soul,” a frenzied vocal version of the Believers’ two-sided psychedelic instrumental single “Soul Raga”), remakes of several early-‘60s compositions for the Tams and Royal, and a potent rendition of South’s Brill Building-styled 1963 single for MGM, “Concrete Jungle.”

This bizarrely reconfigured opus failed to make any waves, but South gained some name recognition with his “Games People Play” Grammys. Moreover, he made some longer commercial strides with 1969’s Don’t It Make You Want to Go Home? The LP, which ultimately reached No. 60, sported not one but two hit singles: the title cut, a poignant look at the toll wreaked by modern life upon the Southern landscape, and the visceral, gospel-styled “Walk a Mile in My Shoes.” It also contained the most hallucinogenic entry in the South catalog: “A Million Miles Away,” a dense instrumental overlaid with a recitation of the album’s personnel and an extract from a telephone call between South and some staffers at the Nixon White House.

These ambitious records might have suggested to some that South’s potential was unlimited. But there was a problem: He didn’t like to tour, and was at heart a studio animal. He also didn’t respond well to the intense pressure of coming up with material that wouldn’t just equal the sales of his chart records, but would better them.

Perhaps in a hope of shaking things up, the 1971 album Joe South was recorded on home turf at Atlanta’s Studio One, where the Atlanta Rhythm Section was the hot session band of the hour. But -- save for “Rose Garden” (included to cash in on Anderson’s enormous hit with the song) and the “Brown Eyed Girl”-like “Birds of a Feather” (it was the third time around for this belated single release) -- the material, a mix of tepid new tunes and recut warhorses, was scarcely South’s best. The disinterest seemed to carry over on the second LP South issued that year, So the Seeds Are Growing; only seven of the album’s 10 tracks were original compositions.

The disenchanted South’s drug use had begun to escalate, and his brother Tommy, who suffered from depression, was also self-medicating. A turning point came on Oct. 11, 1971, when the younger South took his own life.

The immediate result of this tragedy was South’s final Capitol album, A Look Inside, released in 1972. The LP jacket bore a cover photo of South with an open window in his skull, and the most confessional songs on this dark, unsettling record mirror the graphic perfectly. Its first two songs, “Coming Down All Alone” and “Imitation of Living,” are candid and frightening reflections on drug addiction, and they have lost none of their power. But the record’s true killer, which kicks off with a tart quote of the “Game People Play” melody, is the ironically titled “I’m a Star,” possibly the most blunt, world-weary, and self-reflective deflation of the music industry ever released.

It was a record made by an artist at the end of his tether. As South said frankly in the notes to what proved to be his final album, “I flipped out. I just went completely into the ether in the wake of my brother’s death. I just had to get away, so I went out to the islands, caught Polynesian paralysis and just lived in the jungles of Maui for a couple of years.”

He returned, briefly, in 1975, for his lone release for Island Records, Midnight Rainbows. Though it began promisingly with the fittingly introspective original medley of “Midnight Rainbows” and “It Got Away,” the album – again employing members of the Atlanta Rhythm Section – is disappointingly short on new original material; its strongest tracks are wrenching covers of Jerry Butler’s “For Your Precious Love” and Johnny Adams’ “You Can Make It If You Try.”

The last track on Midnight Rainbows is an instrumental titled “Cosmos,” and that’s exactly where Joe South headed. He was virtually invisible on the public stage from the release of that last LP until his death on Sept. 5, 2012, in Flowery Branch, Georgia. Before Bill Lowery’s death in 2004, he issued a couple of singles on his old sponsor’s independent labels: “Jack Daniels On the Line” for 1-2-3 Records in 1981, “Royal Blue” for Southern Tracks in 1986.

The last work he released during his lifetime arrived as a bonus track on the Australian label Raven’s 2010 repackaging of So the Seeds Are Growing and A Look Inside. Sung by South in a charred latter-day voice, “Oprah Cried” is an apparently faithful account of his appearance on Oprah Winfrey’s talk show, where his story of life’s hard knocks moves the hostess to tears. “Son, I thought I’d heard it all,” she tells him.

Considered in light of what might have been for Joe South, it’s one of the saddest damn songs ever written.

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cargopantsman · 4 years

Text

Norse Read-A-Long

Week 1

So the prompt I'll roll with is

5. Why do you think Hallstein Thorolfsson was so adamant about not accepting any land granted by his father?

though... I'm going to ramble about a bit.

I want to riff a little on Harald Finehair, aka Fairhair in some translations, because he shows up as a sort of Lex Luthor character in many of the Icelandic Sagas. While the sagas will typically deal with the trials and tribulations of people and communities within Iceland itself, Harald is a shorthand for the big, bad enemy that is Norway.

Of course, with all things Old Norse, there is debate as to whether Harald Finehair actually existed or was a literary amalgamation for the sake of a cohesive oral tradition. I'll continue on as though he were real, since as far as the sagas-as-stories go, he's as real as Lex Luthor is in the DC Universe.

So what does this have to do with Hallstein? The "historical" backdrop of the settlement of Iceland gives us a good framework to build profiles of the mindset of the characters presented to us in this prologue to Eyrbyggja Saga. Having an understanding of what was culturally, morally, and socially acceptable and commendable helps to put context to a [SPOILER] upcoming battle spurred on by Dritsker for instance (which, if translated with an eye to connotation, is better understood as "shit-reef" but I'll take a page from the Saga Thing guys and refer to it as Poop Rock as it comes up).

So what kind of people can engage in battle over something called Poop Rock?

Much of the drama in the sagas tends to be a commentary on the flaws of the rules, laws, and norms that structure Icelandic society. While the conflicts in Eyrbyggja saga are more subtle in how a small issue can erupt into brutal violence, other sagas will more visibly display how laws and social expectations can gridlock people into a vicious cycle of feuding.

The Old Norse world was driven primarily by honor and reputation, as illustrated in Hávamál stanzas 76-77

[76] Cows die, family die, you will die the same way. But a good reputation never dies for the one who earns it well.

[77] Cows die, family die, you will die the same way. I know only one thing that never dies; the reputation of the one who's died

(trans. Jackson Crawford, The Poetic Edda. 2015)

Self-sufficiency, responsibility, and keeping oaths were the core mores that could hold a community together while allowing individual freedoms. Holding court, or a thing, could be a bit of an ordeal, and while Icelanders loved litigation, problems were often solved on a one-on-one, or family-on-family, basis, sometimes with lethal resolutions. The law was typically an "after-the-fact" event, due to travel and seasonal constraints, and was usually a matter of damage control moreso than damage prevention. As such, much of the functioning of society was up to individuals, for the most part, behaving civilly.

This is why there's a certain attention to detail in the passage

On this platform lay a solid ring weighing twenty ounces, upon which people had to swear all their oaths. It was the business of the temple priest to wear this ring on his arm at every public meeting.

(trans. Pálsson and Edwards, Eyrbyggja Saga. 1972)

in the description of Thorolf's temple to Thor at Hofsvág. Oath rings pop up consistently enough in the mythology and the sagas that we can be pretty certain they were a Big Deal and that oaths were taken very seriously, and being sworn in public assemblies, whether at a temple or a thing or, eventually, the Althing, kept the oath-sworn accountable in society.

The wrench in the gears comes mostly from the cultural heritage of Iceland's initial settlers.

Norway, back in the 8th to 10th centuries, was a collection of scattered, independent kingdoms, or chieftainships, governed by very locally minded chieftains, jarls, goði, or other such self-determined titles. Harald, as the stories usually go, had his eye on a woman, Gyða Eiríksdóttir of Sweden, but she refused to marry him unless he had united all of Norway. He swore to this, and part of that being he wouldn't cut his hair until all of Norway was under his control, and so got the nickname hárfagri (fair, fine, or beautiful hair).

There are political arguments offered for this mission, aside from marrying the popular girl, in some sources. Since most of Northern Europe was being Christianized, and Christian kingdoms had this pesky tendency for organization, cooperation, and concerted military endeavors due their new-fangled literacy, a unified Norway stood a better chance of surviving incursions from the continent. (And if I recall correctly, even Sweden was semi-unified at this point.)

The problem is that many of the jarls, goðar, etc. were not keen on giving up their own independence and authority. There are stories that display a certain irony in many separate lordships allying in order to better fight off Harald's advances (which, really, just proves Harald's point), but highlights that the mentality of Norwegian nobility was that cooperation could be advantageous, but should be temporary. Debts are paid as needed and independence is maintained. Eventually, as Harald began to gather more supporters under his banner, his campaign snowballed until the hold-out nobility couldn't fend him off neither individually nor as small alliances, and many chose to flee with whatever assets they could carry than bend to the will of an overlord.

While the story of the settling of Iceland is that of a predominantly Norwegian diaspora we shouldn't imagine these settlers as poor, dispossessed pilgrims, but of a noble elite loading up ships with riches and family and staffing. These are people that are accustomed to power, authority, and self-determinism.

So Hallstein Thorolfsson, while being offered land from his father, struck out to stake his own claim for a couple of reasons. Firstly, they were in a new land that was mostly unsettled. Hallstein didn't have to be confined to what he could inherit from his father. There were no neighbors to constrain his borders, and by claiming his own stake, no one could say of him that he only succeeded because of what he was given. He carved out his own home, his own destiny, and could rightfully say he was a self-made man.

Secondly, much of what kept people, especially the nobility, in check was a sense of debt, both financial and abstract. It's not far-fetched to overlay a Godfather-like stereotype over the goðar ("Someday - and that day may never come - I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day, accept this justice as gift on my daughter's wedding day."). The sense of not owing anyone anything for your success was a key part of the honor system that kept people accountable. The same logic that drives Hallstein to forge his own territory; to not piggyback on his father's power, to not owe his father anything for his own success, is that need to be neither beholdened nor indebted to an overlord king.

#norsereadalong #eyrbyggja saga #week 1 2020

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unanuvola · 4 years

Note

alright so i read your lipstick fic with sonny and it was absolutely b e a u t i f u l! i was just wondering if you could write something similar but with that the reader ASKED him to put on the lipstick and how he might react? totally fine if you don’t want to! no pressure!

Hey Anon! Thank you so much for reading I see your true colors (and that's why I love you) and for writing this message. I'm glad you like it and I really hope that you'll like this new story too. I'm really sorry for taking so long to write it, but (finally) here it comes!

(gif: @rynewind)

When Sonny came out from his home studio, he found you spread on the sofa with your face hypnotized on your phone. He rolled his eyes and continued on to the kitchen, stretching his limbs and back. Now that he was an ADA and his poor ass was stuck to a chair most of the day, he realized that he desperately needed to do something for his body and maybe, if he was lucky, you could join him.

He drank some water, then he sat down thinking about all the possible sports you could accept to do and, speaking frankly, they could be counted on the fingers of one hand. Sonny still remembered when you two started dating and one day you said triumphantly that you paid an annual membership for a gym next home, but then you spent the entire year in his bed because 'you're ten thousand better than that boring cardio class'. The mere memory made his legs shaking. So, gym was cancelled.

Maybe some dance lessons could be the right answer, however a flashback hit Sonny hard like a slap on his face. Rafael invited the squad in a cosy Cuban restaurant for his birthday, obviously Sonny asked to him if could invite you because he desperately wanted to show his friends the wonderful girl he had started dating. The conditions were good for a perfect night and perhaps he could find the courage to bring you to his home for the first time, but then the cosy restaurant turned out to be a place where after midnight the owners moved the tables away and people could actually dance salsa with a band playing live in the background. After a few tries and your don't worries every time he stepped on your toes, he spent the rest of the night watching you dancing with Rafael. Obviously you didn't went to his place and Sonny had to settle for jerking off at the thought of a threesome with you and Barba. Sonny shook his head like to erase that disastrous night from his memory. Dance lessons were cancelled, too.

Then, like a miracle, he remembered that time where you asked him, smirking, "What do you think if I start yoga? Maybe if I become a little more flexible it'll be more fun doing you know what…". This idea was quickly abandoned just like Sonny's fantasies of your legs spread open while he was pounding you deep.

"Doll?"

"Mmh?"

"What do you think of signing up for a partner yoga class?" he asked, joining you in the living room.

You hummed vaguely, your eyes fixed on the phone and fingers fast scrolling on the screen. Sonny looked at you with a mix of resignation and amusement. No matter how long he has known you, he'll always be genuinely amazed at your hyperfixation on the most varied things.

When you two first met, you were obsessed with Rule & Method: special case unit, in which a young and inexperienced detective, between one case and another, fell in love with a sarcastic and grumpy Puerto Rican ada. At the first you were reluctant to open up with Sonny, but a night he invented you home, asking you if you wanted to catch up the new episode of Rule & Method and you didn't make him say it twice. As soon as the episode ended, you began to throw up all your excitement on him and he was so glad that you felt comfortable to share that part of you with him. Sonny still remembered the moment he confided you that he was @thisdetectivelovesthepuertoricanada on ao3, the surprise on your face, your sparkle eyes and your bright red cheeks. You were so beautiful and Sonny was getting so hard by all your praises on his fanfictions that he pulled you toward himself and started to kissed you passionately.

After that you passed from watching all the musicals starring Raúl Esparza to reading the erotic saga of Tiffany Reisz in just four days and now you're obsessed by two Italians guys, a singer and his guitarist, who kissed at the Sanremo song festival. Obviously Sonny knew all these informations because you told them as soon as you saw a gifset on that hellsite called Tumblr. From that moment you started to listen to their song at least ten thousand times a day and to complain because you couldn't read fanfictions about them because you didn't speak a single word of Italian.

Sonny sat on the sofa and put your head on his legs, starting to stroke your hair. You finally laid down your phone and your eyes met with his, a smile spread on your faces.

"I still don't get what you find attractive about these two…"

"I thought your standard in men was higher, babe. Two charming men fighting patriarchy in fancy clothes and a glam makeup, kissing in a worldwide broadcast. Yeah, what's attractive about this? Maybe you have to start following them on Instagram," you answered, with closed eyes, enjoying his fingers caressing your scalp, "Did you watch the video where the singer put a red lipstick on guitarist lips? Hot."

"I didn't know you had a thing for men wearing makeup. If I've known, I would have told you about my punk rock band in high school. Leather jacket, a lot of black pencil under my eyes and yes, even lipstick. I think my mom has some pictures somewhere, next Sunday I'll show you!"

At those words, you sat up and looked to Sonny, who didn't know what was going on, but he knew for sure that you were ready to ask him something. He could tell by the way your eyes was shining and by that cute and lovely pout on your lips. Oh, how he would like to kiss away that pout and make you feel with his hands how much he loved you.

"I have a tons of questions that I want to ask you about that period of your surprising life, but right now most important one is," you cleaned your throat, "you have no problem with wearing makeup on you beautiful face, right?" you asked, your hand on his cheeks while you were gently stroking his lips with your thumb.

Sonny's heart was about to explode. You couldn't understand how much he loved feeling your fingers on his skin, just a little touch like that could take him off to the seventh heaven. "Of course not!" he said, trying to hide his state of bliss.

As soon as he pronounced those few words, you popped right up on your feet and run to the bedroom, leaving your boyfriend clueless about what you'll want to do. The wait was short because after just a few minutes later you run back, also risking to slip on the floor. Sonny was ready to catch you and tell you for the nth time that running through the apartment with just your socks wasn't a good idea, but then he heard your laugh as you sat on his lap and things went back to normal.

"So doll, what are you up to?"

"This!" you exclaimed, waving in front of him a lipstick. With a loud pop, you remove the cap, "A rich dark burgundy lipstick perfect for your pale skin and beautiful blue eyes."

Sonny couldn't react to these compliments because you were already astride on him, trapping his legs between your thighs. First you passed the sleeve of your hoodie on his lips for drying them, then you began to apply it.

So cute, Sonny thought looking at you. A small frown among your eyebrows, eyes fixed on his mouth while gently beating your lips. He could spend hours looking at you concentrated on the things you loved just like when you go down on him and you're too focused on his pleasure that you even forget about your own satisfaction. Suddenly Sonny felt his pants tightened.

"Et voilà!"

"How am I looking?"

"Handsome, as usual."

"Thanks," and he launched himself, open mouthed, toward you.

"Easy babe! You don't want to ruin your makeup, right?" you asked. Sonny was about to answer, but you were already on your feet, in front of him, "Ah, about the yoga partner thing… Yes, I can give it a chance. In fact, it just so happens that I know some positions that I can't wait to teach you."

"The sun salutation?"

"No, I was talking about the doggy one and maybe you can also smear that lipstick on me."

Sonny was really satisfied with that answer. In no time, he scooped you and put you on his shoulder, your ass up in the air. A loud spank made you yelped in surprise.

"I think that tonight we'll have the time to do a little bit more than just that. Prepare yourself for revisiting the entire kamasutra." and with that Sonny closed the door of your bedroom.

Thanks for reading ♡

N/A:

the two Italians guy are Achille Lauro and Boss Doms and the gifs are here and here

Read Tiffany Reisz's books!

English isn't my first language, please forgive any mistakes.

#sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi x you #my writing

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astroellipse · 4 years

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writing *ranting about ffxiv while I wait for a queue to pop

I was so sad man... I’m just trying to do the Hildebrand questline- it popped in the middle of writing that oh my god.

What I was going to say is that I thought this queue for the quest line’s third trial was going to be 15 minutes like the last two but saw it was instead “more than 30 minutes”, and given the last time I queued for a trial that said that it took two hours, I was a little concerned. To my surprise it popped initially just seven minutes in... until someone backed out. Then I started writing this. Then it popped, I waited half a minute, and someone withdrew again. And a third time immediately after. On the fourth time I actually got in. That was ridiculous. I’ll still continue writing though, since finishing the first Hildibrand saga is a good breaking point.

That was, to be expected, hilarious. A lot of it, anyhow. Some of it just sort of hurt. The funniest moment wasn’t even during the questline, it was during the first trial with Gilgamesh. Both me and the bard were inflicted with confusion and just started blasting each other. Him knocking arrows and all but stabbing them into my forehead, and me casting ruin directly into his eyes at point blank range. That and the getting turned into a frog and getting chased by chickens. Literally nothing can top that encounter for me.

I straight up did not care about the mystery/plot the majority of the time, but I guess I should expect by now that I’ll always enjoy the characters more than whatever mediocre plot they’re tangled in. Just. The Coliseum quests specifically mostly pissed me off. The pervy tentacle monster. The needless racism. The whole thing with painting a poor person wanting to find an easy way to not be poor as undeniably evil which the game KEEPS doing makes me so fucking mad, in combination with stewing about these other themes in JRPGs especially with being all “boo-hoo, won’t anyone thing about how hard it is being rich and noble, all the responsibility, how dare these dirty poors even think about getting revenge on the very people that keep them down.

Why aren’t they just happy with what they do have? They should just put in more work if they want to eat a warm meal, even though we’ve already established there’s no work to be had. Like jesus christ I’d swear some of the shit in this game and others was being written by some 17 year old medieval lordling with too much free time between tutoring sessions. What is these peoples’ obsessions with nobility? Like I get it makes for good fantasy content but have at least a little bit of self consciousness.

I feel like I always see these games acknowledge some kind of class structure and how it negatively effects those in its lowest rungs then shrug it off as “there’s nothing anyone can do about it” and paint the impoverished as villains for being upset with the people that do have the power to change it. Sort of a tangent but this specifically is why I despised and kind of relationship between Dorothea and Ferdinand in Three Houses. She calls him out and rightfully so in the first support, then he makes a batch of pastries completely from scratch one time and this apparently makes her think that all nobles aren’t so bad? Going from straight up not wanting nobles to exist to thinking hey, they’re people too :). I hate that. I hated that FE3H characters were mostly nobles or come from notable/rich families or whatever.

Similarly I hate that FFXIV has such a huge focus on the upper crust and just completely discards and lower-class person. Like, there was a mission where I had to check on some scared refugees and they attacked me in self defense and it made me kill them? And I reported back to the guy who asked me to check on them and he just went “Ah well, what can you do.” Like what the fuck is wrong with these writers sometimes???

I was about to say this was more of an issue with ARR but remembered how the people of the Brume were treated in HW, like a mob of bumbling idiots in desperate need of guidance. What drove me insane the most on that front was when the people were on the brink of revolt after that one girl basically martyred herself, and to remedy this Aymeric decided his order and the grand companies would have their little sparring mach, because nothing sparks patriotism more like sports. Even though this left the city with significantly less protection. And that it was held in an area where not a single citizen could see it. Also, the group the people were supposed to be rooting for was the order of knights and their lapdogs (Hilda’s group) which. just. none of it made sense. It was stupid. This kinda shit makes me afraid to eventually get to Stormblood and into the thick of the Ala Mhigo stuff which they have handled TERRIBLY so far like it boils my blood to think about it. This game is so racist it’s unreal.

but. god. I was talking about the Hildibrand questline. The bit on Costa del Sol was probably the closest I came to caring about the plot, plus it had some pretty good bits. Wasn’t a fan of the big “man in a dress” at the end, though it did make me think that men should be allowed to wear dresses in this game like it would’ve looked fine without the goofy hair and makeup :/ And I completely checked out on whatever that last bit of story was no I do not care that that one girl we’ve been traveling with was the thief all along I have never liked her. Also she played into that class issue I just ranted about. The reveal of her sister was also cheap and stupid. The elezen inspector professing his love for her was also weird? My first thought during that was “jesus christ man she was trying to commit mass mur-” and then I remembered that I/my WoL was crushing on Ysale before she got axed which comes in at #2 for funniest moment in this questline. Him doing that still came out of nowhere save one or two short scenes in separate quests to me.

But I’m exhausted of this now. I might go and start the next saga but I’ll probably go to sleep early... if anything has made me rethink playing past the free trial it’s the shit above but I’ll be honest I am pretty darn likely to cave. I can only hope the writers sorted at least some of their shit out between expansions.

#collecting my thoughts #mmorpg hell

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zero-heather · 5 years

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Persona Main Cast Arcana Swap (Spoilers!)

I wasn’t really paying attention to ships and stuff like that while making this, more-so what was interesting to switch. It occurred to me in the planning of the P2 cast that some crushes are canon. But, here we go anyway!

Persona 1

The Emporer - Reiji Kido (Protagonist): A silent boy who lost his older half-brother during his younger years. He carved an X on his forehead using a knife to make sure his parents don’t treat him like he was his brother. The Chariot - Naoya Toudou: The partially-spoiled son of a manga company. An occasional troublemaker, but also a nice person. His crush is in the hospital. The Hierophant - Masao Inaba: A rich young boy who will soon inherit control over a large group of companies called the Inaba Group. He’s spoiled, intelligent and has no tolerance for stupidity of any kind. The Strength - Kei Nanjo: A father-like figure that almost everyone St. Hermelin looks up to. He is an ex-yanki who was reformed by one of his teachers, to whom he has great respect for. The Justice - Yukino Mayuzumi: A girl who likes to make jokes and prank people for attention. Her parents were never really around for her and she was laughed a lot during her childhood. The Hermit - Hidehiko Uesugi: A young boy who has been hospitalized for a little over a year. His childhood friend, Reiji Kido, occasionally visits him and he gets more frequent visits from Naoya Toudou. His father is too busy to visit him. The Judgement - Maki Sonomura: A beautiful and intelligent girl who has come back to Japan from studying abroad. She aspires to travel the world, but wants to stay in her hometown for the rest of her studies. The Magician - Eriko Kirishima: An airheaded girl who hates hearing anything that displeases her. She likes to live in the moment and doesn’t think about her future too much. The Devil - Yuka Ayase: A delinquent who doesn’t have much care for anything or anyone other than her parents, who are poor. She usually plays hard to get but is a really nice person inside.

Persona 2 Duology

The Sun - Katsuya Suou: A delinquent type adult. His younger brother gives him lectures on how he should try and be a better person but he doesn’t care. Hates his brother and his father. The Justice - Tatsuya Suou: Katsuya’s younger brother, a high school student who wants to join the police force to clear his father’s name. Also has an obvious crush.

The Death - Kaoru Saga: A narcissistic young man in his early 20s who runs a band, in which he is called Baofu. He rejected his parents constant complaining on how he should be a ‘Traditional Japanese Man’, but he still has a very low self esteem. The Hanged Man - Eikichi Mishina: A high school boy who is able to wiretap and hack into any known database. He hangs around Tatsuya’s friend group, despite remaining a mystery to even them. He goes by the name Michel. The Wheel of Fortune - Maya Amano: A young woman who was the childhood friend of Katsuya. Her parents are both deceased and she works for COOLEST Magazine. All that aside, she’s calm, collected and likes flowers.

The Moon - Jun Kurosu: A high school boy whose motto is ‘think positive’, even in tight situations. He makes friends easily and happens to forget a lot of things, but is a good person. Also doesn’t believe many people like him. The Lovers - Ulala Serizawa: A hyper young woman who knows martial arts and is a fan of Bruce Lee. Her parents wanted her to be a ‘Traditional Japanese Woman’, but just like Kaoru, she rejected their wishes.

The Star - Lisa Silverman: A high school girl who has bad luck with men and can never seem to find someone right for her. She’s a professional boxer and also sneaks out to drink, despite being underage.

The Strength - Kei Nanjo: A photographer for COOLEST Magazine who was involved in the SEBEC incident. He works with Maya Amano, and with the help of her and his old teacher, he’s comfortable with who he is now.

Persona 3

The Fool - Aigis/Metis: A high school student who came back to Tatsumi Port Island 10 years after their parents died on the bridge due to a fire. Canon is Aigis, which is female, and optional is Metis, who is male. The Lovers - Minako Arisato: A young bubbly girl who likes big crowds. She’s a popular girl at school, unknowingly, and also stays in the Gekkoukan High Dorms. She has a gun holster on her belt and has a brother. Somewhat loud and “obnoxious”. The Magician - Minato Arisato: A young blunt boy who hates big crowds. He’s a popular boy at school, unknowingly, and also stays in the Gekkoukan High Dorms. He has a gun holster on his belt and has a sister. Reserved and introverted. The Empress - Yukari Takeba: A wealthy individual and next in line to inherit control of the Takeba Group. She’s a very intelligent person and many people look up to her, as she is also the student council president. The Emporer - Junpei Iori: A second year that runs the boxing club at Gekkoukan High. He takes boxing very seriously and also finds it a good stress reliever. He’s determined and courageous, and also a good mentor. The High Priestess - Mitsuru Kirijo: A quite and kept-in girl, she serves as the navigator for SEES. Her best friend would have been found outside Gekkoukan High with Apathy Syndrome if not for her. She’s a bookworm and likes sci-fi. The Hierophant - Akihiko Sanada: A shady third year who hardly shows up at school. He only joined SEES for personal reasons which he refuses to share. Has a soft spot for Fuuka, and is good friends with Junpei. The Justice - Fuuka Yamagishi: A little girl who seems to know Akihiko from her past. She’s well behaned and a good role-model for others her age. Despite being 11, she lives in the Gekkoukan High Dorms. The Chariot - Shinjiro Aragaki: A robot made to destroy shadows. He can only develop human feelings through contact with those feelings. He is enrolled in Gekkoukan High as a second year, despite being a robot and seeming more like a third year.

Persona 4

The Fool - Teddie: A transfer student from Tokyo who came to live with his uncle for a year. He’s very anxious in social situations, and arguments between his friends makes him nervous. Has a weird obsession with bears. The Magician - Rise Kujikawa: A goofy and fun young girl. Her parents are the managers at Junes, and she works part-time there. She’s also in Teddie’s class.

The Chariot - Kanji Tatsumi: An intimidating young boy with martial arts skills. He may be buff but he’s not really aggressive. Suggests eating more meat a lot and is good friends with Rise. The Emporer - Yosuke Hanamura: A badass who was able to take down an entire biker gang by himself. Feared by his classmates, but he is a good person. He likes knitting and has more feminine hobbies, he also questions his sexuality a lot. Despite being skinny, he’s a lot stronger than the buffest one in the group. The Lovers - Yu Narukami: A model who is famous for his cross-dressing and his way to charm crowds. He’s very blunt about his thoughts but he means no harm. He’s a fun person to have around, but he already has a crush.

The Star - Yukiko Amagi: A strange woman who came from the TV world. She makes a lot of puns, albeit sometimes doesn’t know what she’s talking about, and is fascinated with the human world. The Wheel of Fortune - Chie Satonaka: A detective who acted like she was male for most of her life. Is only now getting used to being able to freely act like a woman, and is still coping with her identity. She’s logical and the smartest in the group.

Persona 5

The Fool - Morgana: A young boy who was arrested on false charges and sent to Tokyo for a whole year as ‘probation’. Despite all the rumors surrounding him, he’s a good person and probably the most lenient friend you’ll ever find. The Chariot - Haru Okumura: An ex-track and field runner, she hates how adults think they can just lie their way through life and not have any consequences. A good hearted person with a somewhat goofy attitude. The Magician - Futaba Sakura: A young girl who was found trapped in Kamoshida’s Palace. She eventually decided to come over to the human world and take the guise of Futaba Sakura. Kind of annoying but overall understanding and polite. The Lovers - Akira Kurusu: A young boy who was being sexually abused by Kamoshida, as for a while he kept telling everyone and himself he was female. He eventually came out as a male publicly, despite being a bit nervous about it. A strong-hearted individual. The Emporer - Ryuji Sakamoto: A young painter who seems to think Akira is still a girl, despite him publicly stating he was male. He’s polite but also poor, so he starves himself a lot which explains his slim yet tall figure. The High Priestess - Ann Takamaki (P5)/Kasumi Yoshizawa (P5R): The student council president of Shuujin Academy. She keeps up her polite and obeying act in public, but when she’s with the group she’s an absolute unit that no one dares cross. The Hermit - Goro Akechi: His father runs the coffee shop which Morgana is in, and he also has an obsession with video games. He serves as the navigator for the group. He is reserved and hates going out in public. The Justice - Yusuke Kitagawa: A young and upcoming detective. He may be polite in public, but he’s really a sociopath who will murder anybody and anything that upsets him. The Faith - Ann Takamaki (P5R): An elegant and intelligent young girl, who gets the top score at Shuujin, which is why she was offered a scholarship there. She’s actually very stressed out and often becomes depressed for no reason.

#persona #persona series #persona 2 #persona 1 #persona 4 #persona 5 #persona 3 #arcana swap #role swap #i'm proud of it

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allgirlsareprincesses · 5 years

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Still More Search for the Lost Husband: The Revival of the Prince in Star Wars

Yes, there’s more! Though I covered this to an extent in my original folktale post, I felt a deeper look into the resurrection motif of The Search for the Lost Husband was necessary, especially in light of the new Hux comic. As the lovely @corseque has pointed out (have I tagged her in every post I’ve made so far? I hope so, because I stand on the shoulders of giants….), Ben Solo is clearly presented as the Sleeping Prince, metaphorically dead just like Anakin Skywalker. I’d love to delve a bit into the actual folktales that are the basis of this motif, how it appears as a pattern in Star Wars, and what that means for Ben Solo’s redemption and likely resurrection in The Rise of Skywalker.

In many versions of ATU-425, the lost husband is deathly ill, in a deep sleep, imprisoned, cursed, pretending to be dead, or some combination of the above. As with the flight of the fairy bride, this princely suitor is metaphorically dead, and in rare cases literally dead. After their separation, this is how the searching wife finds him when she comes to his rescue, and she may use any number of means to revive him: Sometimes she makes a blood sacrifice, others she might need to make him a special concoction, and often all that is needed is a declaration of love. Interestingly, the famous kiss of life doesn’t often appear in these tales as it does in the revival of the fairy wife, though sometimes Beauty kisses the Beast when she tearfully agrees to be his wife. Sometimes, the prince does not immediately recognize his wife after his revival, and she must complete another task or put on her royal raiment for him to know her as his true bride.

The most obvious place that this tale appears in Star Wars (before the Sequel Trilogy) is in the rescue of Han Solo in Return of the Jedi. Frozen in carbonite “in perfect hibernation,” Han is asleep, enchanted, imprisoned, and nearly dead when the princess creeps into Jabba’s throne room (in a palace of evil on a dead planet, no less) to rescue him. When she frees him from the carbonite, he falls to the floor as if dead, and then wakes to find that he is blind. I intend to cover this in a future post, but blindness in mythology is often used as a metaphor for death (which by the way is a pretty insidious form of historic ableism, but I digress). As Leia’s mask distorts her voice, he does not recognize her at first, but knows her immediately at her declaration of love and subsequent kiss of life. This one scene effectively crams nearly every revival motif from the Search for the Lost Husband into just a couple minutes of screen time.

The other obvious “sleeping prince” in the Skywalker Saga before the sequels is Anakin, although sadly we never see him revived by his bride. This is because his story ends tragically, as the Quest for the Lost Bride tales tend to do. That leaves only one more candidate for the classic rescue and happy ending of the Search for the Lost Husband, and that is our dear Ben Solo. Certainly it’s clear that Ben is in many ways metaphorically dead in the first two films of the final trilogy, but in the recent Hux comic, Lucasfilm has gone out of their way to show him sleeping, mask off, while Hux and another character discuss how much like his princess mother he is.

Given that the Lucasfilm Story Group is apparently being about as subtle as a sledgehammer at this point, what might we expect for Prince Ben in The Rise of Skywalker? Well, let’s review several ATU-425 revival stories to see the possibilities:

In East O’ the Sun and West O’ the Moon, the lassie arrives at the castle after her travels to find her prince imprisoned by an evil family of trolls. He is now betrothed to the troll princess, and will marry her in a matter of days. Using gifts given to her by those she met on her journey, the lassie buys the right to spend the night in the prince’s room. However, the cruel trolls make him a sleeping draught, and no matter what the girl tries to wake him, he sleeps on. The lassie tries a second night to wake the prince, but the same thing happens. However, this night, other prisoners hear her weeping and calling to the prince, and tell him when he wakes the next day what they heard. Realizing what has happened, he slyly pours the drink out instead of drinking it, and the third night is awake when the lassie is allowed into his room. They spend the night embracing and planning the defeat of the trolls the next day (achieved by the lassie washing a black shirt to pure white). Check out this stunning illustration by PJ Lynch, inspired by Gustav Klimt’s The Kiss:

**Trigger Warning for some dark and gruesome imagery in the following paragraphs, especially about blood**

In Pajaro Verde, the prince becomes deathly ill when shards of broken glass become embedded in his body, and flees to his father’s house. In her search for him, the princess comes across little birds who tell her that she must give them a sleeping potion, cut their throats while they sleep, and fill a bottle with their blood. Then, she must cover the prince with the birds’ blood, and the glass will be drawn out of him and cure him. The princess does as they say, and when she arrives at the palace, soaks a sheet in the blood and covers the prince with it. Immediately, he begins to recover, but he does not recognize his wife, and is instead pledged to another. On his wedding day to the false bride, the princess approaches him in all her royal attire and crown, and the prince suddenly remembers her, declaring her his true wife and love. The Enchanted Snake is an almost identical Italian tale, in which a blood sacrifice is again the cure for the ailing prince.

There is also, of course, the classic Beauty and the Beast, in which the neglected Beast lies dying in his garden when Beauty comes upon him after the visit to her family. Realizing her true feelings for him, Beauty calls out to her Beast, kissing him and accepting his offer of marriage. At her confession of love, he transforms into a handsome prince, and he and Beauty live happily ever after.

In The Ninth Captain’s Tale, the fair Sittukhan is the first to fall into a deathlike sleep and is revived by a sultan’s son, but is then abandoned by him. Sittukhan enchants herself into a rich and beautiful princess to entice her wayward lover, and failing to recognize her, he begs for her hand. To win her, she tells him, he must wrap himself in burial clothes as if dead and be carried in a funeral procession to a place of rest. This he does, and when they are alone, Sittukhan unwraps her lover’s burial shroud, revealing both him and herself. After teasing him for the lengths he would go to for a bride, she consents to be his wife and they marry. In this story, it is remarkable that the imagery clearly shows her raising her bridegroom from the dead, rather tenderly if somewhat macabre.

From these stories, we may perhaps assume that Ben Solo will indeed die, and that the keys to his resurrection may be a blood sacrifice of some kind and a declaration of love by his true bride. You could even argue that he’s already been baptized with blood in the imagery of cleansing salt in the red wound of Crait. However, few of these stories feature a notable villain comparable to the diabolical Palpatine who will be returning to menace our heroes in The Rise of Skywalker. Given what we know from the trailers, does the Emperor have a clear role in this part of the myth? Does Dark Rey have a part to play?

WOULD YOU BELIEVE I actually found in my collection a story that until now, I didn’t realize contained this motif? This is The Blood-Drawing Ghost (the version I have is simply called Kate Culhane: A Ghost Story), an Irish folktale over a hundred years old. In the story, a deceitful young man leaves a fine blackthorn stick on the freshly-dug grave of an old man. Kate, a young woman whom he is courting, offers to retrieve it, but when her hand touches the blackthorn stick, a ghostly voice tells her to open the tomb. Though she tries to resist, Kate is compelled by magic to obey, and she is forced to pull the gruesome corpse from his grave and carry him on her back. Though her burden is heavy and painful, she must carry the dead man a great distance until they reach a house in the village that is unprotected by holy water. Inside, the corpse searches for something to eat, but Kate can find only oatmeal. Upstairs, they find that the wealthy family has three sons, and the dead man forces poor Kate to hold a bowl under their hands as he drains the blood from each one in turn. He then has her mix the blood with the oatmeal and eats it, instructing her to eat it as well, but she cleverly hides the food in a handkerchief instead.

The old man then forces Kate to again take him upon her back and carry him back to his grave. On the way, she asks if there is any cure for the dead young men whose blood was drained. The old corpse tells her that if only a bit of the oatmeal mixture had been saved, just a bite in each man’s mouth would bring him back to life, and they would never know of their deaths. At the graveyard, the dead man tells Kate that as she has eaten his food, he will pull her into the grave with him before the cock crows three times. In my version, he does actually try to drag her into the grave, but thankfully dawn breaks and the brave girl is able to escape. She makes her way to the house of the three dead sons, where the family has discovered them and is lamenting their misfortune. She tells the family that she can revive the young men if only they will give her the eldest as her husband. They agree, and she feeds the sons the bloody oatmeal she had saved in the handkerchief, reviving them immediately. Kate marries the eldest son and they live happily for all their days.

Call me crazy, but this looks like a great plot outline for The Rise of Skywalker based on what we know so far. First, there is the brave girl who goes to retrieve a special stick, or in this case the legacy lightsaber, as Rey did in The Force Awakens. When she touches it, she is drawn into a dark struggle between good and evil, life and death. If Rey becomes a target for the risen spirit of the Emperor (who resembles nothing so much as a corpse) as many suspect, then he may attempt to use her to do his dark bidding, or convince her to become his apprentice/alcolyte. At least, this is what is suggested by the appearance of Dark Rey and some of the links she has to Palpatine in her musical theme and backstory on Jakku. Further, the Emperor has already tried to drain two sons of the Skywalker line (Anakin and Luke), and now it seems he may attempt to drain a third (Ben). There’s certainly been a lot of talk about Ben Solo’s bloodline, at least.

Just as Psyche was instructed not to eat the food of the Underworld lest she be forced to remain there forever, Kate has the sense not to share in the bloody feast of her deathly captor. Since we know Rey will likely have a “dark night of the soul” in Episode IX in which she is sorely tempted by the Dark Side, I take this as the model for her resisting that temptation to taste the fruits of death. And finally, just as the corpse attempted to drag Kate into his grave with him, Darth Sidious will make one last effort to entrap or destroy our heroine, but she will escape him. Unfortunately, it is still too late for Ben, the third son whose life he drained away. Or is it? Perhaps Rey, in her brush with the Dark Side, will have learned the cure to rouse her beloved from his deathly slumber. Perhaps it will be the sacrifice of Ben’s own blood that saves him, along with the love of a clever girl.

Hope you all enjoyed this latest installment! Let me know if there are any specific folklore topics you’d like me to explore in Star Wars. This has been a great way to pass the time during the agonizing wait for TROS!

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