#the point of this post is: glad I could identify this problem! i have a tendency to deflect emotions from things i don't wanna think about

[six-of-ravens]

new ability unlocked: realizing you're not actually seeing red with rage over a minor annoyance, you're mad about something else and your brain is focusing on the annoyance bc it's an easy target

[malewifesband]

EDIT: if this post has made you think about whether or not you are autistic, im really glad! i hope you get some better understanding of yourself and are able to find community and support

however before you go and tell a therapist and seek an official diagnosis please read this thread and consider the points made therein:

autism is highly stigmatized. be fully informed about what you gain and what you lose from having an official diagnosis before seeking one.

EDIT OVER ENJOY THE POST

people do correctly identify that laios is autistic fairly often but a lot of the reasoning begins and ends with his special interest and social difficulties, but honestly it goes far deeper into the build of his character than just those two things

his pain tolerance is wildly inconsistent, unable to tolerate a drop of hot oil (or any heat) but able to shrug off both his leg being bitten off and it being reattached

hes sensory seeking in the extreme. he rubs the bat bones against his face, pets and fluffs the shapeshifter tail.

his desire to eat monsters comes from three very autistic places. 1) the rules for why monsters are not okay to eat but animals are are arbitrary to him so he cannot follow them easily: he cannot understand the 'feelings' argument others make. 2) this too is a sensory seeking behavior. he wants to experience these new things, new flavors and new textures. 3) it completes his knowledge of the monster in question to also have data on its edibility. because he cannot draw that arbitrary line around all monsters, he wants to evaluate them case-by-case and see if real patterns emerge. butchering and eating the monsters improves his knowledge of them greatly and highlights their importance in their ecosystem, as well as making him a part of that same ecosystem

he cannot emote the way others expect him to. he compartmentalizes his feelings (to an unhealthy degree) because he needs a pragmatic solution. so as long as there is a problem to solve, that matters far more than evaluating his emotions and allowing himself to experience them. while this is also a coping mechanism for ptsd, it is a trait found in many autistic people regardless of trauma, as we have trouble sorting the feelings we have and often need time to think about what we feel, so it becomes easier to simply not do it and pretend we dont need to. laios emotions certainly affect him, with or without his processing them, but others do not see what they expect to see and thus dismiss that he is feeling what they would feel

he is incredibly gifted with pattern recognition, observation, and analysis within realms he understands. to understand subjects that dont come easily to him, he must filter them through his established schema (his special interest--this is why they are so special! they help us sort the world). when he isnt sure about the social cues and details hes observed in the shapeshifter arc, he filters it through the lens he understands best: monsters. he was making correct observations about his friends all along, but he could not be confident in that the way he was about their behavior when it came to his interest (chilchucks caution, senshis passions, and marcilles carelessness)

[blueskittlesart]

what do u think totk is gonna b about

OH WOW I AM SO SO SO GLAD YOU ASKED!! HERES THE ESSAY I TOTALLY DID NOT HAVE PREWRITTEN ABOUT THIS SUBJECT!!

so arguably the biggest mystery left unsolved at the end of botw is the origin of ganon as we now know him -- "calamity ganon." in all other games (and by extension all known previous incarnation cycles) where "ganon" was the primary antagonist (incl. all ganon and ganondorf variants) ganon was something real, physical, and ALIVE. a man or a boar-monster, usually, but always something that was bound by the laws of nature to some degree and could be physically killed. botw departs from that formula (and by extension botw's CYCLE departs from the usual governing laws of its own universe--i'll come back to this point) by showing us a ganon that is far less human than any other known incarnation of demise. even in name, this incarnation of ganon is given no personhood--it's a calamity, a force of evil with no origin and no complex thought beyond a need for destruction.

The thing is, for all the game wants the player to understand this ganon as nothing but a mindless, monstrous force of evil, it also makes a point to identify this force as GANON, incarnation of demise. seasoned zelda fans will relate the calamity back to ganondorf the human king at the first mention of its name. anyone familiar with the cyclical lore or even just the basic formula of zelda games will recognize the cycle's steps being played out in such a way that the calamity plays the part of the king of evil. for those who don't make the immediate connection, urbosa's final line after the player frees her in vah naboris cements the calamity's former personhood: "it was written that calamity ganon once adopted the form of a gerudo." it's a deliberate hint to new players that the form we see ganon take in this game is not his true one.

So what is calamity ganon? what turned the newest human incarnation of demise so deeply inhuman? what happened to the human that calamity ganon once was? why, when the calamity struck, did it rise from underneath hyrule castle, with pillars full of armed guardians ready to aid it in its destruction? these questions are what i expect will be the main focus of totk. as for their answers, i only really have my own speculation, backed by some evidence from trailers and botw, which i'll outline now because that's the whole point of this post.

botw is 10k years removed from the last known instance of an incarnation cycle, a fact which is crucial to its story and worldbuilding. while there's no official source on how long periods of peace usually last between cycles, it's obvious from context that botw has gone much longer without a new cycle than any previous game before it, if only because of how much information about the cycle itself has clearly been lost to time. this lack of information is what causes a majority of the problems link and zelda face in botw. But it raises a question for those of us who follow the lore and have noticed the discrepancy: why was hyrule able to forget this information in the first place? Why was there such a long period of peace when the cycle ought to have continued? there's no other instance in centuries of documented hyrulian history where enough time passed between cycles for the idea of the TRIFORCE to be lost to time. how did it happen before botw? the answer, I think, lies with the hero and princess of 10k years ago.

there's a LOT we don't know about the hero and princess who came before botw, obviously. and I believe their story is going to be incredibly important in totk, given how it was teased in botw. we can assume, from context, that the incarnation of demise that this hero and princess went up against was the gerudo incarnation of ganon mentioned by urbosa. What botw tells us about this cycle is that ganon was powerful enough to need legions of guardians and four divine beasts ALONG with a presumably fully-realized hero and princess to defeat him, but that, with these resources, the hero and princess triumphed. what is not confirmed, however, is what exactly HAPPENED to ganon after his defeat. one could assume that he died, because hitting a human man with a sword enough times will usually kill him. however, there's another important piece to the puzzle when looking at loz cycles: zelda and her goddess power. the thing i'm going to be focusing on here is the fact that throughout botw zelda's power is referred to specifically as a "sealing power." it's significant to me that the concept of SEALING surivived when so many other crucial pieces of the cycle did not, because, in multiple previous games, "sealing" ganon does NOT mean he dies. in both oot timelines in which link DOES NOT return to the past at the end of the game (defeat & adult), the official explanation as to ganondorf's fate is that he is "sealed" in some form, either in the sacred realm or the twilight realm. (if you don't know what those are don't worry it's not important, what's important is that he is sealed.) alttp and twilight princess, follow the aftermath of these two timelines, in which ganon has been "sealed" but not killed. in both stories, ganon (specifically the SAME INCARNATION OF GANON AS OOT) eventually frees himself from the confines of the seal and continues to terrorize hyrule. so "sealing" is not necessarily synonymous with defeat or death, and it doesn't reset the incarnation cycle for demise's spirit, it just keeps the current incarnation dormant for a while.

i hear you saying, "blue, why the fuck does any of this matter? ive been reading for so long!" and i am sorry. i promise i will get there. the important point at this point is that SEALED does not mean DEAD or even DEFEATED, and that zelda's power in botw is exclusively referred to as a SEALING POWER. we can assume that this terminology is left over from the hero and princess from 10k years ago, because, by virtue of a 10k-year period of peace, most everything that botw hyrule remembers about the cycle appears to be left over from only that previous cycle. What this means is that, upon defeat 10k years ago, human ganon was not killed, he was sealed. and as i've already mentioned, there's a precedent in these games for a sealed ganon to come back to terrorize a new cycle's hero and princess. I think it's pretty obvious that the mummified gerudo skeleton seen in the totk trailers is that sealed ganon from 10k years ago. but those trailers take place AFTER link and zelda defeat calamity ganon in botw, so why is he still there, sealed but not dead?

the most obvious explanation to me is this: calamity ganon is not ganon. botw's blights give us proof that ganon is capable of somehow reproducing itself in smaller, less powerful doses to deal with immediate threats without having to leave its shelter in hyrule castle. if you recall, calamity ganon's first phase underneath hyrule castle is essentially a rehash of the blight fights, with ganon cycling through attacks previously used by its blights (and adding some new ones into the mix, obv.) One thing that struck me when fighting it, though, is that the fight lacks one signature mechanic that's been a staple of ganon battles in the zelda franchise since at least alttp: sword pong. in almost every game involving a fight with an incarnation of ganon, there's an attack pattern in which the player and ganon have to deflect a ball of energy between each other via their weapons until one of them eventually misses a swing and gets hit. calamity ganon doesn't have this attack in his arsenal, which is strange to me because it's an iconic move for loz final battles. the only ganon battle i can think of which DOESN'T involve this mechanic is oot's shadow ganondorf, a PROJECTION of ganondorf rather than the real thing.

can you see what i'm getting at here?

I don't think botw's link and zelda have gone up against their real incarnation of demise yet. I think the calamity was one of two things: either a genuine expression of rage/escape attempt by the sealed human ganon, or a calculated attempt by him to get modern hylians interested enough in the origins of the calamity to investigate and free him accidentally. The way the pillars rose from under hyrule castle, the fact that calamity ganon smashes through the floor of the sanctum and forces link to fight in that underground chamber, it all seems to beckon you to dig deeper. we know that that mummy is somewhere under the castle. Calamity ganon was a shootoff of its power meant to lead hylians to it. this is what i meant way back when i mentioned that botw's cycle departs from the usual governing laws of its own universe--link and zelda haven't actually played out the full cycle at all. what they've done is essentially the precursor to the main event--they've defeated agahnim, or zant, or ghirahim, but the true evil of this cycle has yet to be revealed. to that point, it's worth noting that, excluding shrine mini-dungeons, botw has WAY less dungeons than your average zelda title. most new-cycle titles (by which i mean games that weren't direct sequels featuring the same incarnation of a given link) are divided into 2 sections of dungeoning - the first section having 3-4 dungeons containing prize items needed to unlock some late-game functionality, and the second half having 5-7 dungeons and being accessible only after the player has completed the first section. botw has four dungeons TOTAL (not counting hyrule castle), meaning formula-wise it's essentially the first half of a cycle. i believe totk is going to be the second half of this cycle, with link and zelda having to fight the true evil -- revitalized HUMAN ganondorf.

so now we need to bring this all back to my initial point--why was there a 10k-year period of peace pre-botw, and how does any of this effect my predictions for the story of totk?

in simple terms, i think that the reason there was such a long period of peace was because 10k-years-ago-princess sealed ganon REALLY well. she probably came the closest anyone in hyrule's history has ever come to a TRUE defeat of ganon, because she managed to keep him ALIVE so he wouldn't reincarnate and SEALED so he couldn't hurt anyone for a really long time. what this implies is that 10k-years-ago princess knew on some level about the reincarnation cycle. she understood that if she couldn't keep ganon alive and incapacitated, he would revive and the cycle would start over anyway, so she did everything in her power to stop that from happening, and she did a DAMN GOOD JOB tbh. better than anyone who tried this shit before her. there are other bits and pieces of botw's story that point to the hyrulean civilization 10k years ago understanding the potential of a ganon reincarnation, most notably the fact that they buried guardians and divine beasts seemingly purposefully for later hyruleans to find and use should a new threat ever arise. this implies that 10k-years-ago hyruleans had a REALLY HIGH level of awareness about the cycle, in direct contrast to modern hyrule's REALLY LOW understanding of it. this is really important when we start thinking about totk.

we already have a decent amount of evidence suggesting that totk will deal with the events of 10k years ago and the hero involved in them. In several trailers now we've seen modern link's arm become weirdly, creepily fused with/corrupted by the arm that was holding mummified ganon in place under the castle. i think this arm is going to serve two purposes in totk. the first is a practicality thing: from gameplay footage it looks like the arm is going to basically take the place of the sheikah slate. the second purpose i think it'll serve is to be link's (and by extension the player's) connection to the events of 10k years ago. I've seen plenty of theories thrown around about what the arm is, but my personal theory is that it's some sort of prosthetic or tech that originally belonged to the 10k-years-ago hero. the way it's holding mummified ganon in place in that first teaser trailer looks less to me like an evil influence and more like something physically holding ganon down; a seal of sorts. (and in most games both the hero and princess's power is needed to seal ganon, so perhaps this is how the hero and princess managed to keep him dormant for so long: adding a physical piece of the hero to the mix?) in any case, i think that after establishing this physical connection to the 10k-years-ago hero, modern link is going to get some knowledge and flashbacks (potentially in the form of memory-style cutscenes like botw) that will serve to basically fill in all the cyclical lore that has been lost in-universe over the past 10k years. I've talked at length about how i believe link and zelda's initial failure in botw was due entirely to their lack of knowledge of the hyrulean creation myth and the REASON behind the motions they were carrying out, and i believe that by witnessing the 10k-years-ago hero and princess's journey, modern link will be given the knowledge he needs to defeat ganon.

[unreliablesnake]

Early birthday present (Joel Miller x reader)

Summary: Right before the outbreak you give a visit to a Joel on your way to the hospital. While it was you who wanted to surprise him, he ends up being the one with a big surprise.

Note: Loosely connected to Wounded animals. I wrote the first half when I started to play the game last year so it originally took place on his birthday. But whatever, it’s changed because of the show. / If you want to know when I post new stuff, follow @unreliablesnakefics and hit the get notifications button. I don't have a taglist.

Warnings: fluff with some not-so-detailed smut. Afab!reader. MINORS DNI!! (Please don't report this as mature content, just keep scrolling.)

You stood in his doorway with a bright smile on your face, holding a few balloons in your hand that he watched with a suspicious look as the moment he opened the door. “Good morning and happy early birthday!” you told him happily.

Shaking his head while laughing, Joel took the balloons from you and leaned over to give you a quick kiss. “Thank you, honey,” he said before ushering you inside, mostly because his neighbors were watching his every move today.

“Where's Sarah?”

Joel tied the balloons to a chair in the kitchen before he answered your question. “She already left for school with a friend.”

He pointed at the coffee machine, happy to see you nod in response. His previous girlfriend–or whatever you call someone he slept with a few times–was strictly against caffeine in general, avoiding everything that contained even a very small amount of it. But this man was addicted to coffee, it would be cruel to force him to stop drinking it.

“I hoped I could catch her,” you told him, talking about his daughter.

“Why?”

You flashed a cheeky smile at him. “Girly things.”

“Oh, you two are keeping secrets now?” Joel asked as he walked over to you, his hand reaching out to take yours into his.

“You have a problem with that? Don't worry, it's not like we were conspiring against you.”

“Good to know,” he told you, leaning dangerously close to your lips. “And no, I don't have a problem with that. In fact, I'm glad you get along so well."” He kissed you softly before you could say anything, his hand letting go of yours as he raised it to your face to keep you close to him. ”Are you working today?”

With a sigh, you nodded. “Yeah, I'm on my way to the hospital. A nice thirty-six hour long shift. If I'm lucky,” you added sourly, remembering the last time you had such a long shift. A woman was brought in following an accident, and you spent a good eleven hours in the OR, finishing five hours after your shift was supposed to end.

Joel sighed and rested his forehead against yours. “So you can't come over tomorrow?” he asked, although he probably already knew the answer.

“I'm sorry, babe, even if I could leave in the evening, I'd be so damn tired I wouldn't be able to stay awake for a minute,” you replied before kissing him again.

You often wondered how he could taste this good, a nice mixture of coffee and something sweet you hadn’t been able to identify yet. This man was everything you needed to function, his energy was keeping you alive, and his kiss would have been able to bring you back from the brink of death as well.

You noticed him looking at his watch while his lips were still connected to yours. Right, it was time to let him be, after all it was a workday for the both of you. But then he said something that surprised you a little. “Well, I don't know about you, but I have some time before leaving for work,” he told you when he pulled away to talk.

It was a tempting offer. “I really can't stay.”

“Come on, it's my birthday tomorrow. Can you stop being such a goody two-shoes for once? You’re always there way too early.”

“We both know I’d be terribly late if I stayed.

“But wouldn't it be worth it?” he asked with a laugh.

The corners of your lips curled into a wide grin. “Someone's confident,” you noted with your hand buried in his hair.

“Someone compliments me a little too often and now my ego's big.” You playfully punched his upper arm at this. “No, but seriously, there's something I'd like to talk to you about.”

In the history of humanity no good conversation ever started with this sentence. “I don't like the sound of that,” you said with a sigh.

But Joel looked happy as he kissed the tip of your nose then let you go just to retrieve something from the living room. “Hopefully you'll love it. Sit down,” he asked you with almost his entire arm disappearing inside a cabinet.

You had absolutely no idea what it could be about, but you did as he asked nonetheless. You trusted him with your life, so if it came down to it, he could’ve easily killed you since you wouldn’t have suspected a thing. But hopefully he wasn’t planning to get rid of you, at least not in the bloody sense of the words.

Then he returned, a hand hidden behind his back when he stopped in front of you. “Okay, so here's the thing. I suck at this so don't be mad. I love you. I love you more than anything. And Sarah also loves you, which is a great thing, and also very, very important to me. So it got me thinking, and I don't want to lose you. Would you marry me?” he asked as he showed you the little box he’d been hiding behind his back.

You couldn’t believe your ears. But as you watched the delicate ring, you realized that it was true. “Yes!” you squealed before he finally put the ring on your finger.

“C'mere,” he said with a smile, putting his hands around your neck to pull you into a passionate kiss. His hands soon began to wander, moving down your back until they reached your bottom.

It took some time until you could pull away long enough to ask him what had been on your mind since the question. “How long have you been planning this?” you asked with a smile.

“For about a month. I wanted to do this on my birthday to guilt trip you into saying yes.” You gave him a disapproving look that made him laugh. “Okay, okay, sorry. But for real, I knew it would be a great birthday present for me.”

“And if I said no?”

Joel shook his head at this. “I knew you wouldn’t do that.”

“You’re right, I wouldn’t.”

“So what do you say? Can’t you be a little sick this morning?” he asked, sweeping a strand of hair behind your ear. “Or maybe your car should break down on the way to work.”

With a sigh, you enjoyed the way his finger brushed over the skin on your cheek. He was right, you had never been late before, only went on a sick leave once when you got the flu. So why not? “Don’t tempt me,” you said quietly.

Joel flashed a sly smile at you as he moved behind you, wrapping an arm around your body to pull you close. His free hand traveled down your side, straight to your hips before taking a sharp turn towards your sex, all while his lips barely left your shoulder. You turned as much as you could in his arms to give him better access to yourself, leaning against his chest as he did his magic.

It was hard to resist him when he wanted something, especially when you wanted the same thing. He unbuttoned your pants to push them down, making you kick it away, then he slid his hand under your panties to see how wet you already were for him.

“We’ll be quick, I promise,” he whispered in your ear. “If I only warm you up a little,” he began as he pushed two fingers inside you, “we can finish just in time for you to get to work almost on time. You’ll make it up to me some other time.”

With your head thrown back on his shoulder, you moved a little to give him a kiss, muffling your moans with this trick. Joel was a giver; always making sure that you were okay if he happened to be rough with you, and that you were also satisfied in the end. Even now that his fingers were pumping in and out of you, you could tell by the way his other hand kept you in place that he cared so much about you.

He kept going at a merciless pace, pushing you to the edge of insanity by slowing down every time your body gave away that you were about to come. He loved to do this to you, for some reason finding it adorable how you began to whine and plead for him to go on. And this time wasn’t any different, you were begging him to keep going, your brain cells slowly disappearing from this sweet torture.

And when you came for him covering his fingers with your juices, he simply placed a kiss on the nape of your neck, telling you what a good girl you were for him. “Let’s get you on the dining table, okay?” he asked, already maneuvering you towards it.

“For real? You eat here,” you pointed out.

“I couldn’t care less now, I’ll clean it later,” he said against your lips before grabbing your sides and helping you hop on it. You unbuckled his belt then unbuttoned his jeans, revealing his already hard cock that was eagerly waiting to be inside you. “I love you so fucking much, baby,” he suddenly told you.

You flashed a wide smile at him. “I love you too.”

Before you knew it he pushed his cock inside you, picking up a steady pace as his eyes were locked with yours. “The future Mrs. Miller,” he noted, his words followed by a string of groans as he kept going. “We’re so good together, aren’t we?”

It was hard to reply, your brain already foggy from the pleasure that spread through your core. But you pulled yourself together just enough to hum in agreement before pulling him into a kiss. He fucked you hard, but he was still careful not to hurt you, only aiming to make it hard for you to walk after he was done with you.

You buried your face into the nape of his neck when you were close to your climax again, barely able to bite back your moans. “I wanna hear you, baby,” he told you once he pulled your head back to face you.

Nodding weakly, you stopped trying to be quiet, constantly reminding yourself that Sarah wasn’t home and there was no need to hold back. “I’m so close,” you whimpered.

This made him flash a predatory smile at you, knowing full well by now that this was the case. He knew your body, he could decode every single little movement perfectly, so it wasn’t hard to figure out you were on cloud nine. Giving you another kiss, he kept going and fucked you until you came around him, and you soon felt his warm cum inside you, the mixture of your juices slowly dripping out of you.

While you tried to catch your breath, you couldn’t help but glance over at your watch. “Fuck, I’m late,” you mumbled as you jumped off the table and steadied yourself by grabbing his shoulders.

“You sure you can drive?” he asked with a cheeky laugh.

“I’m sure. Where the hell are–there they are,” you said when you found your pants lying a few feet away from you. As you got dressed, Joel kept his eyes on you, as if he wanted to say something serious. “What?” you asked in the end.

“Hmm? Oh, nothing, really,” he dismissed it with a forced smile. “I don’t want you to be that late so I won’t keep you up.”

With a nod you rushed over to Joel to give him a quick kiss on the lips. “I’ll call you tomorrow morning. Veeeeery early. Hopefully you’ll wake up to that,” you said with a laugh.

“I can’t make any promises, you might have to call me later,” he told you. “But I’ll do my best.”

[velvetvexations]

Hey velvet, glad to see you’re back. I’m sorry you got powerjacketed by your own sisters and allies— you’re an easy target for exclusionists and crypto-radfems/transradfems because of your discourse alignments. I may not agree with all of your positions, and at times do believe you could be more receptive to other transfems’ points, but you dont deserve to be harassed out of your own safe space.

Please don’t feel the need to put yourself out there for your transmasc siblings. You got off pretty consequence-free this time, but i imagine much more severe hearsay could easily spread about you if you dont prioritize your safety more. being a transfem with an opinion on this site is hard and i wish you the best ❤️

If it helps any, I literally had tears in my eyes recently because I had a really nice conversation with a self-identified TMA for the first time. I'd talked before about how it would be easy for good and rational people to adopt a system that disadvantaged them but it would be more inherently selfish to do so when it advantaged you, but in retrospect maybe that WAS wrong of me to say. Maybe I WAS being a bit transmisogynyistic, because I was still wrapped up in frustration with other transfems at least partly as a group, even if I tried insisting I didn't think it was most of them.

But I was working with the data I had at the time, which is that I was able to come to borderline wholesome agree-to-disagree conclusions with TMEs while TMAs seemed to exclusively be hateful no matter how hard I tried to approach as a civilized being (and have continued to do so, despite declaring I'd give it up awhile ago), or if I did start out confrontational was specifically because they had takes completely unrelated to gender that smashed my berserk button, at which point that eclipsed anything else.

But then I talked to a TMA who made a post I thought was unfair, and they were like "yeah sorry I was just venting if I was talking about this in a way that was actually trying to spread awareness I'd have worded it better because I agree with you that it's a situation where the problem is people trying too hard to be respectful and the best way of actually dealing with that if one was to attempt it isn't getting angry with them".

And like! That very brief interaction wasn't even about TMA/TME, but they just had it listed as an identifier, and that made me completely reconsider the way I'd been viewing transfems, even if only a portion of transfems involved in an extremely specific discourse. Because I'd seen such a range of self-identified TMEs, from asshole pickmes to people who were just genuinely trying to be good allies, but here at last was a TMA I just disagreed with over TMA/TME language.

So I literally cried over that.

I mean, I didn't investigate her blog. Maybe if I looked into it I would indeed find that she believed in really awful things, TMA/TME-related or otherwise, but the actual content of that interaction was emphasizing that kindness is important when one is feeling that "TMEs" are making well-intentioned missteps so it still gave me a measure of faith.

The other thing is that something I had been worried about was my deep lore that made me a bit obsessively paranoid about dragging back up, but I talked about that a little while ago (cw for CSA) and since then I've felt safer about Velvet Nation being understanding and caring since I've already brought up the context of everything that happened.

And, also, as much as I do love people and try to live the Superman quote in my pinned post to the very best of my ability, I also have a bottomless need for attention, so.

[katyspersonal]

I accidentally stumbled upon a post you rbbed about canon characters who beat each other up violently and in fanon they violently make out and your tags about alfred and the cainhurst crow have made something in me stir. this is a brilliant pairing how did I never consider this

Oh, damn really now fshgdfdsg This pairing is actually a controversial classic of this fandom, on the level with Ariadella or Bradmon!! I am glad to give you an Insight point on accident hahaha; I believe it's normally called Crowfred, I tend to opt out for Alfeater! Ships where one or both characters aren't named goddamit..

My style of discussions about ships is to offer some more Insights like some dealer but with autism instead of drugs, so.. Two things:

1) Their age and/or timeline gap is uncertain!

In original Japanese script, Alfred doesn't call himself a "protege" of Master Logarius, which leaves it up to interpretation whether he even met Logarius in person or simply adores him parasocially! Should Bloody Crow come directly from Cainhurst, that'd make him much older than Alfred!

On the other hand, despite Arianna and Bloody Crow (and Fauxsefka, for that matter) existing, Annalise says that you are the only one consanguineously connected with her! It could come from the effect expiring over time if the person doesn't take her blood, which is what I am using. But at the same time, the Vilebloods we know might actually be descendants of the surviving ones! I've had some analysis on Arianna in this ( x ) post, but the gist of it: since actual noble dresses are silver, but hers is burgundy and coincidentally stretches during pregnancy no problem, her mother might have ran away while pregnant with Arianna!

But why Bloody Crow could not be similar, simply a descendant of the Vilebloods that never met Annalise in person and follows the mental image? Both Alfred and Crow could be caught in the unhealthy quest of admiring a person they've never met, continuing the rituals and the ideas of their ancestors they might not fully grasp, and moreover, continuing the old violent ideological conflict they don't even know the actual roots of or the reasons of continuing. They "gotta" kill each other because... why? Who told them they should? What about their own lives, not lives and honour of their 'ancestors'? It adds a lot of drama, and even makes stopping the war that isn't even their with love of all things more romantic!

At the same time, if one of them IS older and smarter, it opens up a whole other potential for the story. Crow could push the "naive fool" away from the crazy quest, or Alfred could convince Crow that sacrifices for "child of blood" is an evil and cursed thing. ....only if either of them calms their murderous unhinged energy for a second. :') And IF they both hail from the 'OG conflict' (time works strange ways in Yharnam), there is the appeal of simply growing tired from the pointless conflict which already destroyed both sides and they can face it together. Bonus controversy points depending on how many of each others side they've killed yet: Alfred straight up identifies as hunter of Vilebloods, whereas Crow is found in Grand Cathedral and strangely wields Healing Church's gun instead of something from Cainhurst (was he looting the victims or something?)

2) There is an alternative way to go about their story!

What if you read Alfred's deep resentment towards Annalise "seducing" people not as some hateful propaganda of the Church he's probably parroting, but as an actual precedent of something that happened? What if Bloody Crow wielding a Healing Church weapon IS his? What if the two used to BOTH be with the Healing Church and look for Annalise together, and one time Bloody Crow managed to reach his goal.. only to be completely charmed by Annalise and betray the Healing Church to join the Vilebloods instead, and he is only acting like crow-feathered Hunter of Hunters to have easier access to murdering people rather than beasts! (Djura pls stop trying to intervene let me finish typing the post ffs hfdjfdshsdfh)

So, Alfred IS pretty mad at his friend having chosen to simp instead, but can't blame Crow himself for it. This idea does need to address why then Annalise says you're 'the only one', as well as how would Crow overcome Logarius being an obstacle? @val-of-the-north says that maybe Bloody Crow instead joined via some other surviving Vileblood outside, so what we have. Parasocial? Telepathy? Communication via bell teleports? In either case, I think this is also an alternative idea worth exploring! Less dramatic, but also less controversial? (though would Alfred be a possessive jealous EX then? who knows..)

I want you to know though: I am actually kinda indifferent towards this ship by 'default', but while typing this reply I was going a little 😳 and thinking this is actually pretty great...? So, I've accidentally made YOU interested in it, and by YOUR interest, you've made ME interested in it- What is going onnnn dshhfdshdsf THIS IS TOO FUNNY HELP

P.S.: It is a no brainer that similar thinking applies to Ariadella in many parts! Adella only murders Arianna if she "dirtied" Hunter's blood for like three times, but in all cases, there is hope to look past fanatical brainwashing / glory and honour of ancestors respectively.. The way I see it, the message Miyazaki put here (and WOULD put here, considering his track record) is more "both sides were corrupt as fuck leeching on Yharnam in their own ways and this war was always pointless" than "church bad vampires good" fdsjhhdfs They all can talk..... this contradiction is so meaningless, ESPECIALLY if you are only continuing the ways of your ancestors before you had a choice to develop your own world-view. god. just talk, guys/girls....

[archangeldyke-all]

Icl, I’m just seeing the post that everyone is going on about and while I do believe that transmisogyny (and transmisogynoir- I wrote an entire long-form essay my junior year of highschool about this problem actually and I do think that there’s more acceptance to transmascs in general bc- drumroll pls- patriarchy and men thinking its cute that some women would want to “be men” even tho that's like not how it works- whatever. Point is, intersectionality sucks ass when it comes to oppression and our transfem babies usually get the brunt of it bc terfs and patriarchy and transphobia- read my dissertation when I find it) is making the lesbian community hostile and unwelcoming to transfems, I- a non-binary lesbian- have never felt coddled or welcomed into the lesbian space outside of finding your blog actually. When I first was coming to terms with my gender and how I wasn’t sure if I identified as a woman but knew I didn't feel like a man, I remember so clearly having a conversation in the comments of one of those 2019-2020 lgbt/lesbian safe space instagram pages and it was lesbian visibility week and I had commented “hey am I like still allowed to identify as a lesbian if I’m afab non-binary” and there was just comment after comment telling me things like no, read the lesbian manifesto, lesbian is wlw you’re not a lesbian anymore bc you aren't a woman anymore, and amongst it all was ONE one singular person who explained that I could still identify with lesbian however there was actually a flag and term for nblw and that was trixic. From that day on, that was what I identified with. When family members ask, I say I’m queer. When people my age, in the community or not, ask, I say trixic or non-binary lesbian. To this day, I sometimes feel unwelcome among lesbians bc there are many out there who still think the way those people did, but like one of the anons said, the problem with transfem/masc/nonbinary acceptance is more nuanced and boils down to transphobia as a whole if we want to just make it black and white. I hope this didn't come off as me trying to make the convo about me and enby ppl and our struggle but like that other anon said that post felt very black and white and tone wise it felt a little erasive to me. I don't see why we have to erase the struggle of other trans people in the community to uplift and start changing the struggle for another. It’s like the suffragettes doing everything in their power to stop the same black people they helped free from getting the vote before them. It’s a battle of the oppressed when solidarity matters so much more. Instead of saying “well this group has it worse, include them more” we could’ve just said something like “if we’ve got people genuinely thinking about making the lesbian community a safer space for non-women, we can make it a safer space for the women as well, trans or otherwise.” Anyway, i’ve typed and said enough I think so yeah… my thoughts. Be nice about them, I’m willing to take constructive conversation about them.

oh mars, this broke my heart reading. first of all i'm glad this blog has become a safe space for you, and second of all i'm so sorry you went through what was probably a horribly isolating experience on that insta page.

yeah i think i could see how that post was a little black and white-- especially coming from your perspective where you yourself have been unwelcome in lesbian spaces because you're nonbinary. it's like you said: trans women are at that unique intersection of transphobia and misogyny, and i think the main point of that post was supposed to be that even in the most 'inclusive' spaces, trans women can still be unwelcome. but i agree with what you said, comparing oppression to find the biggest victim isn't productive at all, and solidarity is the key!!

[khaleesiofalicante]

Hello Dani ,

I am exited to see the books you were recommended too because the whole concept of « race » is being more known in my country too just now and I am interested in learning more about from variés perspectives. I have been learning from an American point of view only. And even tough I am very cautious about my teachers and source materials, it’s always good to see a problem from all sides.

I am from Haiti , and even tough race was mentioned in regards to racism in certain topics when I was in school it was not discussed as a system because just like in your country, race is not part of our Identity.

It only seemed to have affected us on an international level with asinine ideas of IQ différence and it is such a weird idea to us since our existence is proof that it is all BS , we only learned of it through thé littérature of that time.

I did not fully identify as « Black «  even after going to school and working in the US for 10 years because I never fully understood the concept.

2020 brought me clarity and as a result I no longer live in the US 😂 - thank the Universe for that - these people are crazy.

Just like u I knew of the high level of testosterone in black women and I knew that they have been using as an excuse whenever they please as a weapon. When I read your analysis I understood it just like u did.

I understand the reason why you took the post down but I do think that we need to have more in depth nuance conversation in regards to posting information online and how to correct and amend old or incomplete information. Because to me , you taking it down is taking information away from a space that could have needed and it also could have been a véhicule for more information had the people with the added info had addressed it correctly, with the nuances that the situation asked for .

If we are to be a community, we have to not only be able to account for people s background/ location and limitations.

Yes u would have always been responsible to do more recherche but your post could have been a source for people who would not but would have still received info that other with more knowledge would have added more nuances to. It is not only your job as this the job of everyone in the global south (plus the non-melanined allies that are either doing the work or have done it )

Anyways - sorry for the essay - it just that the way that the current state of social media and the lack of nuances and any discourse online is just maddening to me and I want to concerver and protect this pocket of sanity you have created . 😘

Always feel free to rant, talk, and share in this space. You know that already, but just reminding you all anyway 😊

I'm really glad you brought up your experiences and perspectives. This ignorance you mentioned (among us and everyone else too in different ways) is so scary and dangerous. It's frustrating too.

We don’t learn about race (or even gender) in the classroom the way we should. At least, we don't where I live. These are real topics and are integral parts of our identities. They're also the root of much hate and violence, both online and offline. I wish our education systems would spend more time and resources helping young people understand these nuances better. While it's important for adults to be critical and self-educated, I think sustainable change starts with early education. Without that foundation, the damage becomes much harder to undo (I'm always advocating for education reform hehe)

I totally understand your point about taking down the post. I felt that many people were reblogging it without reading into the replies, where the actual conversation and critical thinking were happening, so it wasn't doing any good.

But to be completely transparent, I took it down because I was overwhelmed. I received over 20 hateful messages over the weekend, and I just wanted it to stop. It was impossible to have a constructive conversation about the topic (as we are doing now) while being constantly attacked. We need to give people the space to learn and opportunities to reevaluate. Otherwise, I'm not sure how we can expect change.

Online discourse can be maddening. Agreed! But conflict and discourse are good, they just need to be transformative. Conflict without transformation and learning just fuels more hate and violence, which is a lot of what we're seeing in the world right now (I was reading up on what's happening in the UK, and it's awful!!).

I know I can’t always protect this space from all of that, but when it does come up, I want it to be handled with care and responsibility. I'm responsible for the people here, and I want to ensure we create a space for meaningful, respectful dialogue.

So, thank you (and everyone else) for talking about it and sharing your experiences. I'm eternally grateful for it 💙

[quxxn0fhxarts]

black coffee and cigarettes - South Park AU (Aged Up - 18+ : Chapter 1 - Conformist on Goth Action

AN: This is my first ever South Park fic. Go easy. I have only been a fan since 2018, so forgive me if I miss some lore. I know Liane Cartman was intersex but then it was a cover-up or something, just ignore it. Enjoy!

IMPORTANT: Everyone has been aged up to 18, links to AO3 and Wattpad at the end of the post. Photo and Fic Cover Made with Mage.Space June 28th, 2008 11:10 PM

Cabin Salmon at Camp Stark, South Park, Colorado

   Michael hated going to Camp, but he had to go every summer. At least Pete was there most summers... but he and his family went to Florida until August. He hated the types of people that went to Camp, conformists, jocks, Christians... He wished his parents didn't force him to go... he wanted to be at The Village Inn with Henrietta and Firkle.

   At least the Camp's Activities were mostly optional. He could mostly avoid outdoor activities by making friendship bracelets or arts and crafts. He was glad they removed those bigger 40-person cabins to a more intimate three-person cabin. The only thing Michael hated more than jocks was a group of them altogether. 

   Per his luck, he was stuck with two Jock, but he considered Kyle Broflovski an okay person... still didn't like him because he was a conformist. Kenny McCormick was a neutral guy; he couldn't get into many cliques since his family was poor. They had been at Camp for a few weeks, and Michael was going crazy.

   Kyle wouldn't let him smoke in the cabin. He would say, 'It messes with my sinuses,' and 'I don't want to have my lungs all shriveled and black from secondhand smoke.' Michael thought the guy needed something to vent or complain about. Kyle was always venting or speaking about something.

   Kenny wasn't as annoying as Kyle. He didnt talk much... the only thing that bothered Michael about Kenny was that he constantly was talking about sex, jerking off in his bed, talking about 'big tittied Asians.' It was exhausting. It was obvious that Kenny fetishized asians, and Michael was half Korean.

   The one that pissed Michael off the most was when Kyle said, 'How do you not have lung cancer by now after smoking since we were 10'. He wasn't so mad at it because he was scared. He started smoking because he wanted to minimize the time he was on this earth... He has always heard it, and he is sick of it. It also pissed Michael off when Kyle would say, 'That's your sign to quit smoking,' when Michael would have coughing fits.

   Though his body and condition irritated Michael, coming to Camp was always hard for him. He would get in trouble if he were caught smoking, not that he didn't want to get in trouble, but his things would be searched, and they would make him throw his cigarette stash away.

   Because of this, he would have to find another way to keep his mouth busy. He had oral fixation, so he had to distract himself by chewing gum or something. If he ran out of things to do to keep his fixation at bay, he would start biting his tongue or nails to the point of hurting himself... and he did this every summer.

   Probably the most taxing was how long he would wear his binder. It was summer, so he couldn't wear baggy jackets to hide his chest. Michael was born intersex. It was only another thing he had to suffer from in this world. Not to mention, his bust was big, so he had massive back pain.

   From a young age, his parents forced him to identify as male, which now he was cool with... it just fucked him up whenever he would have 'female' problems. His mother would gaslight him into thinking he was imagining it, and his father knew nothing about vaginas. He had to learn how to care for himself at that time of the month through blogs online.

   Michael took a good hot shower after Kyle snuck out for the night, Clyde scored some liquor, and there was going to be a rager in the forest. So, Michael felt safe enough to take off his binder and take a nice hot shower. 

He thought that he had plenty of time before he had to put back on his binder. he was going to put on a shirt and hug a pillow to go to sleep... he was drying off, going to his side of the room, finding a jumbo shirt to put on... but then something hit the floor, and he flinched.

   "Holy fuck..." Kyle said wide-eyed, standing in the doorframe with Kenny just behind him.

   "Holy shit..." Kenny yelped as he dropped his bottle of beer, "I... never thought I would witness Double E tits in real life..." Kenny was so moved he almost teared up, "They are amazing..."

   "Fuck!" Michael's squeak of panic brought the boys back to reality, "Don't fucking look, you pervs," Michael yelled.

   Kyle and Kenny had returned to the cabin because they had forgotten their phones. They wanted to see if they had received any service in the forest. After this interaction, they forgot to take their phones and quickly left the cabin. They didn't stay at the rager for long because they were too worried about Michael's wrath... they knew they would get in trouble as soon as they got back. Kenny finally just said they should go back and get it over with.

   When they returned, Michael wasn't in the cabin, but they smelled cigarettes, so they knew he couldn't be far. "Just stay here, okay... I will deal with him,"

   "What, why?" Kenny asked, wanting to see Michael's knockers again.

   "Tits make you go crazy. this is sensitive... just let me deal with it, okay?" Kyle said, and Kenny nodded, headed to the bathroom to rub one out to the memory of those EE cups.

   Kyle left the cabin and followed the smoke, finding Michael close in the forest. He was leaning against a tree. The moon was full, so it was easy to see. He was crying...

   "Just leave me alone, Broflovski," He muttered, but Kyle ignored him, sitting across from him. Kyle saw that Michael had finished the carton and downed another pack.

   "It's um... it's not that big of a deal," Kyle started, and Michael glared at him, "n-not that we saw you naked... I mean, I don't see you any differently. You are brave,"

   "Brave? What the fuck are you going on about, Perv,"

   "I mean... being trans in a small little mountain town like South Park... you're fucking amazing,"

   "I'm not transgender, you fuckwad," Michael pinched the bridge of his nose.

   "Then you... I'm sorry I'm confused," Kyle sighed.

   "This isn't a fucking moment Broflovski..." Michael sniffled, "It's none of your business."

   "No... I mean, you're right. It's none of my business. I just... I feel like you need to talk to someone," Kyle said, and Michael sighed. "I have been walked in on plenty of times. I usually get hella embarrassed and sleep it off... and you are crying," Kyle said, and Michael huffed.

   "You're a jock, I am goth... we are not friends,"

   "Well... I may not be your friend, but you're my friend," Kyle said with a smile... Michael fucking hated it when he smiled. he hated that he was so nice. He didn't like the butterflies he felt when Kyle was so nice to him.

   "Fuck You, douchebag..." Michael pulled his legs into a hug and rested his head on his knees. "I am intersex..."

   "Oh, okay," Kyle shrugged.

   "You said that like it's normal," Michael scoffed.

   "I mean... it isn't normal, but it isn't that rare, but Cartman's mom is intersex," Kyle said.

   "She is?" Michael raised an eyebrow. "Is that why Cartman is such a fucking asshole,"

   "Maybe, he has always been an asshole," Kyle shrugged and blushed, trying not to look at Michael's chest. He knew he did something because he looked like he did normally. Everyone thought he had big pecs or was a little chunky. "Can... can I ask how you hide them?"

   Michael blushed and looked away, "a chest binder... it's like a tank top, but it compresses better."

   "Is that safe?" Kyle asked, and Michael raised an eyebrow, "I mean... if it compresses, then I am sure it might cut off circulation. You have really big boobs," Kyle blushed, "Er, I mean... just is it safe?"

   "Yeah... it's safe," Michael couldn't look Kyle in the eye. "It's irritating at the moment because I wear it so much. I usually get some heat rash at Camp. But normally, I can hide it with a less intense binder and a hoodie,"

   "That is bad, Michael..." Kyle felt bad, "you don't have to wear it when it's just you, Kenny, and me... it's not healthy to have it on all the time,"

   "Yeah, right, with McCormick around? He already tries to get in my pants because I am Asian, and he is a fucking sex freak," Michael dryly laughed but then immediately froze as Kyle grabbed his wrist softly.

   "You don't have to worry about him, okay? He doesn't mean any harm. I will make sure he doesn't perv out on you as long as you feel free to rest without the binder," Kyle said. Michael was happy that it was dark enough to cover his red face.

   "O-okay,"

———- 1:29 AM    Michael thought he had a vivid wet dream at first—the ones where you can feel touch in your dreams—but then he fluttered his eyes open, hearing an uncharacteristic high-pitched panting—aka moaning.

   He looked up at the ceiling, inhaling and exhaling rigidly. He fluttered his eyes and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

   Michael felt someone between his legs. he didn't have to look down to see who it was. He brought a pillow to his face and bit it, holding back a moan as Kenny started rubbing his ring finger and middle finger up and down Michael's pussy.

   Michael fluttered his eyes to look up at the top bunk. he saw Kyle's hand dangling and his slight snore.

   "What the fuck are you doing, Pervert," Michael tried to sound threatening, but he bit his lip, and his entire body was trembling with pleasure. He looked down to see Kenny glance up, giving Michael a little smirk.

   "Finding your clitoris," Kenny said as he had been with Cartman's Mom before, her clitoris was easy to find as it was fused with her cock. Michael wasn't fused. He had a cunt where his testicles should be while the testicles were still inside of him. His clit was just below the base of his cock. "Want me to stop?" He said while pressing Michael's cock to the side and flicking his tongue on the clit, quickly reaching up to cover Michael's mouth as he grunted loud and bucked his hips.

   "Fuck..." Michael bit on Kenny's finger, whimpered, glaring up at Kyle as he failed his job not even two hours after he promised... but fuck did this feel like heaven. "W-what are you doing? Don't stop," Michael panted, unable to keep his lids open or his eyes uncrossed. Kenny buried his face in Michael's crotch before swiping up so every inch of his stubbly facial hair brushed along Michael's hairless velvety soft pussy and skin.

   "I already made you cum in your sleep... bout to do it again," Kenny said, planting kisses on Michael's bare stomach, up to his chest, which still had the shirt taught. "I wanna watch your face this time," Kenny kissed Michaels's neck before inching closer to his face.

   Michael whimpered, turning his head to the side as Kenny sucked on his adam's apple, crossing his legs as Kenny rubbed on his clit harder. You could hear the crickets outside, Michael's muffled moans, and wet sounds as Kenny pleasured Michael.

   "You sound so fucking lewd," Kenny spoke, pressing his lips against Michael's ear, "You were sopping wet before I even touched you," Kenny lightly bit on Michaels's ear, making him moan. "You were touching yourself in your sleep...". 

"Sh-shit," Michael gasped in pleasure.

"Now-now..." Kenny chuckled lowly, covering Michael's mouth, "You don't want to wake Kyle, do you?

   "Fuck... that feels so good," Michael whimpered, hugging his arms around Kenny. Pressing his face in Kenny's neck, he bit on his shoulder, trying not to make noises.

   "Come on... cum for me," Kenny whispered as he ground against Michael's leg. Michael blushed as he could feel Kenny's fat cock hard against his thigh... even with Kenny still having his pajamas on. "Here..." Kenny switched hands to insert a finger in Michael's mouth so he could bite it. "See how good you taste?" he said, Michael's wetness still on his fingers.

   "S-Shit," Michael tensed up as he arched his back, whimpering as Kenny started to press a finger inside of his cunt. "D-Dont-"

   "Holy Shit..." Kenny widened his eyes, "Youre so fucking tight, youre a virgin," He smiled from ear to ear. Michael tried to glare at him, cringing as Kenny continued to finger him but much more gently. Kenny pulled up Michaels's shirt and started to kiss and suck on Michael's nipple. The Goth Boy fluttered his lashes and looked up, flinching as Kyle sat up, looking down with wide eyes.

   "Dude..." That was all Kyle could say. Michael closed his eyes and bit his lip... unable to control his moans as his body tensed up, his touch becoming more desperate as he hugged Kenny, hiding his face on his chest. He instinctively crossed his legs and let out a little scream as he came, squirting as Kenny took his finger out of him to suck them dry. 

   "Fuck... you taste so sweet," Kenny said, leaning down to kiss Michael on the lips. The goth kissed back and bashfully looked up to look at Kyle, who was touching himself... maybe this summer wouldn't be too bad after all.

———- 2:27 AM

North Stark Lake, South Park, Colorado

   Vampir and his crew of vamps had their own 'rager' in the woods, though they just had a lousy beer and clamato juice. He was tipsy since he barely drank because he was a straight edge.

   He was stumbling aimlessly around the woods as he had to take a leak. He lost the path back to where they were hanging out and needed to learn how to return to the cabin. He thought he was headed in the right direction, but he came out in the clearing of the lake and saw the Camp on the other side.

   He sighed and started to return to the Camp, but that's when he heard something. He turned around to see if it was one of his friends. "Bloodrayne?" no one answered, "Vladimir?"

   He was beginning to freak out... but then he saw a large snarling snout coming out of the shadow, followed by glowing red eyes. "Fuck!" Vampir shouted, breaking off in a run, but it was useless... he was tackled to the ground, and the last thing he remembered before blacking out was the tearing of his flesh and a howl.

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wattpad

black coffee and cigarettes - South Park AU (Aged Up - 18+ - 1. Conformist on Goth Action - Wattpad

AO3

black coffee and cigarettes - Chapter 1 - quxxnofhxarts - South Park [Archive of Our Own]

[waheelawhisperer]

If I could add my own two cents on the whole "Yang's amputation was a punishment for a moral failing" debacle, can I just say how much I hate it's counterpart "Yang undergoes enough character development that she doesn't need to be punished with amputation to learn her lesson"?

Because let me tell you, it's really freaking annoying how EVERY fic that diverges before the Fall of Beacon saves Yang's arm.

I am SO glad that Yang's an amputee in the upcoming movie! Maybe now people will stop erasing that part of her character in fics!

Okay, so, I had to think about this one a bit. I'll give you fair warning right now that you probably won't like everything I have to say.

To start with, claiming that Yang losing an arm is related to a character flaw or that her amputation is a punishment for some failing real or imagined is stupid, gross, and factually incorrect. I've made many, many posts about how Yang actually behaved correctly in that situation, that her injuries were not her fault, and that she was caught in a scenario where her best option was a low-percentage play that ended up not working. I'm not doing it again. I'm tired of this conversation. Anyone who doesn't understand this at this point is cognitively equivalent to the roadkill I saw on my way to work this morning and would be better suited to using their empty skulls to store and dispense bingo balls than engaging in literary analysis. Recapping my arguments will not convince anyone new.

I think RWBY made a very bold and powerful choice to have one of the main characters lose a limb in combat. I hate it on a personal level because Yang is my baby and I can't stand to see her hurt, but when I divorce my emotions from the decision and consider it objectively, I think it's actually one of the best and most effective choices RWBY has ever made. Any negative reaction I feel about this decision is purely emotional and stems from my extreme protectiveness of Yang in particular. If they'd done it to any other character, it wouldn't bother me at all.

As a result, it probably isn't surprising that I don't have an inherent problem with fan content that averts the loss of Yang's arm. I understand why you do, and why others do, and I recognize and acknowledge the validity of those feelings. I do think that at least some people within the RWBY community downplay Yang's disability for ableist reasons, whether consciously or not.

I think it's fine for fanfics and so on to arrange things so that Yang doesn't lose her arm. One of the great things about fanfic and other fan content is that it allows the people making it to explore alternate paths or aspects of canon and to ask themselves how events would have unfolded if something had been done differently. Fanfics aren't obligated to follow the stations of canon if the author doesn't want them to. What is even the point of writing a story, if we're just retreading everything that happened in canon with no significant changes? To me, writing a fic where Yang doesn't lose her arm is no different from writing a fic where Pyrrha survives or Ironwood manages to avoid going off the deep end.

That said, I think you have a great point about how common it is for fics to avert the loss of Yang's arm. I don't think there's anything wrong with any individual fic simply setting Yang on a different path, one where she doesn't lose her arm, but if it's happening often enough in aggregate, then we have a problem. I don't know if that is the case or not. I don't read fanfiction often enough to be able to identify common trends within it. Most fanfiction either does not meet my standards for quality, lacks a premise I find sufficiently appealing, or both, so I will defer to the knowledge of others regarding how RWBY fanfiction as a whole treats Yang's canon disability.

I'll be honest, all of the stories I have in any stage of completion arrange events so that Yang avoids permanent physical injury of any kind. I tried to write a scene where she lost her arm, I really did, but I couldn't do it. It made me cry and I had to scrap it. I can, just barely, write a fight scene where she gets the absolute crap beaten out of her and nearly dies as long as she can somehow be healed from it without long-term consequences, but that's all I can manage. I can kill other characters. I can put them through one hell of a lot of misery. I can't do it to her. She's the only one I can't do it to.

I don't give a shit about the Justice League movie. I'm not sufficiently emotionally invested in it to have an opinion about any writing or design choice the people making it made. Sorry.

[insufferable-talkstuck]

hey callie (if that's your name), i hope you don't mind me submitting an entire essay of sorts so that you could, you know, classpect me. i've seen the stuff you've been posting here on this blog of yours, and i can't help but like it. so uhhh, let the trauma dumping begin, i guess? i'll try not to take this too far, so i'll give you something more palatable to read. if i do, feel free to call me out for it like you did over mentions of politics that other people did.

so...how would i describe myself as a person?

dude, i wish you had a format like a list of questions or something. is this dumb for me to complain about because by being this open-ended, you're giving other people the choice to say what they want to, with those choices ultimately providing a subtle kind of information that may or may not make your readings/analyses more accurate? probably. am i going to complain about it anyway? well, i just did, even though i'm not usually one to actively complain. that translates to absolutely, by the way. all this text is just a transcript for my thoughts while writing this. no wonder this has gotten out of hand so quickly. but look on the bright side: there's more for you to analyse. fuck yeah to that. :)

back to the question: one thing i can say about myself is that i go on tangents and can get sidetracked easily (see the above paragraph for explicit proof). i'm also a very secretive person, especially in regards to my problems and my inner world. when it comes to that, i can't help but feel like i understand them better than how the external world works. to compensate for this lack of understanding, i tend to, figuratively speaking, wear different hats depending on the situation. usually, im quiet and lay low as i keep an eye on what goes on around me, which i attempt to grasp by myself. other times, i do the exact opposite when i feel like i'm supposed to, mostly in attempts to get others to like me. i'm either too much or too little for the people around me to deal with. hell, i guess i could say i'm wearing a different hat right now through the way i'm typing in this ask, and that's mostly because i'm that fucking terrified of being able to be identified via typing style alone even if i'm anonymous. a person's gotta cover their tracks while admitting personal shit, you know?

so to cope with the fact that i find it hard to make friends due to all this, i've gotten used to isolating myself and being self-reliant, to the point where i straight up pretend to be stoic, cold, and boring to talk to out of well, a lot of things. these things include how i'm constantly terrified of social interaction, i'm afraid of hurting other people through whatever shitty choices and words i decide to make or say, and i can't help but feel worthless all the goddamn time. it even goes to the point where i tell myself that i should be so proud to be so "independent and badass" as a motivator to keep getting away with this despite having this deep, contradictory craving to have meaningful interpersonal relationships in my life, which i tell myself is stupid and that any attempts i make at it are bound to be a waste of time and effort to avoid dealing with it all together. and i suppose that also makes me a hypocrite by default. that's a big yikes on my part.

i also guess that according to some people i used to know, there's a side of me that can be best described as sassy, blunt, with a disposition of innocence and sunshine. i mean, i'm probably being incredibly sassy while typing this all out, aren't i? (which is intentional) if you find it hilarious (like some of my friends did), then i'm glad to hear that the interspersed shenanigans i've been pulling as i prose on endlessly about my flaws have made someone laugh. however, i don't fully buy my sunny, pure disposition as part of who i am as i can't help but feel that only developed as a way to avoid conflict, especially by preventing any sign of my problems and stress from leaking into the day-to-day conversations i had with them at the time. however, there were occasions where both my positive and/or negative emotions got so overwhelming to deal with that i accidentally snapped in front of them. even though i try to prevent those kinds of occasions from happening at all, i regret every single time i lose my composure like that without meaning to due to how i felt rejected every time i did that. and well, in my eyes, rejection scares the everloving shit out of me as well.

i've also been described as a "robot" and a "cryptid" on previous occasions and well, i don't entirely know how to feel about those kinds of descriptors. but i'm not complaining about it because being any of those things sounds badass to me when trying to be positive about it.

so yeah, i'd say that im a person that's damn good at usually playing the role of a stone-cold, sassy hardass with nothing interesting to offer beyond that while wishing it were the truth.

and well, i feel like i've talked enough about myself to feel the need to not mention anything else, so that's where i'll end this. like, i'm usually private about my interests, especially the ones i'm the most emotionally invested im (which can go to the point where I lie about them out of embarassment) and my aspriations in life are something along the lines of "i want to do all this cool shit, but i realistically don't have the energy for all that and worrying about what other people need from me is more important anyway."

hope you got something out of all of this. it was nice for me to type it out, even if all i did was talk about myself. but that's the point, right? and hopefully, i don't regret saying any of this. sorry if this was a long one to read, i hope that doesn't bother you too much.

Witch of heart

my name is Calliope, on this blog, nicknames are appreciated tho i find them sweet.

ah hem, you must excuse me, i am a little rusty, for i have not classpected in a while. But i "tried" my "best" here so take it however you will

you managed to talk about yourself while also avoiding talking about yourself. people majorly view themselves as.. a collection of titles, a community they're members in, interests, morals and their overall attitude twords the world. but you only talked about personality, which is certainly a rare case. No music or art that you're into? do you sit infront of a mirror all day and pass your time on..... self reflection ? you did say your interests are private so, maybe they're too private for even the classpect blog to know. how sad

i assigned you a witch of heart because, you're certainly a steriotypical heart player, from the way you're speaking. i do think I could manage assigning you a blood player with more information... perhaps hit my inbox again soon.

i struggled a bit for the class but then it was obvious, you change heart, you manipulate it to your given situation you put on a... hat. ( why did you say a hat of all things? )

✷ sometimes i add in a little bonus when the answer is too short, my guilt is practically eating me alive for responding with such a short classpecting sesh to such a big ask, but you did use a whole bunch of words to talk about nothing so, not exactly in my pay range to fix my reply, I will say i think you're the first person I don't think I could find a moon for, you could go either side but not in the sollux way, just in the: I think it took you way too long to wake up way

[roleshirked]

Do u have a long post somewhere about why you think bishonens are lesbian coded? Cause i would like to read it. I see it as the other way, bishies are het coded its why bifauxnen (females that resemble bishies) tend to be into men sch as with Kashima in GSNK and the protag in Ikemen Danso Reiya but nonthlsss lesbians like bishonen imagery bc gnc women are deemed unpopular and ugly thir ssa deemed bad & dirty irl while bishies are hearthrob princes with fangirls whose f-attraction is celebrated

i don't, mostly because it's a meme take, but i am so glad someone else sees a nugget there, lol!

the non-meme answer is super subjective: growing up as a kid plugged into the internet age and reading any josei/shoujou manga i could get my hands on, i wound up projecting way more onto the bishounen in those stories than i did the women protagonists. these are stories written primarily by straight women for other straight women, and as a result the men often (though not always) come off as way more sincere and compassionate and enigmatic and charismatic than men irl. also they're super pretty. so as a little closeted lesbian girl it was super easy for me to equate that with "i could be that!", especially since bifauxnen were so few and far between. i don't think i even discovered the term until my twenties.

you mentioning bifauxnen is huge though and i do agree they tend to be not nearly as lauded in fandom circles, which is weird imo. i disagree that they're het-coded; i think they're lesbian-coded also, but often shoehorned into het relationships as endgame in order to upkeep the genre and/or not sideline other plots. but i also latched onto them for the same reasons i do bishounen despite that: they're gnc, they embody masculinity in a way that is wholly not masculine, etc. etc. rose of versailles is to date my favourite piece of media of all time and oscar francois de jarjayes is my favourite character of all time. i have and had and will get into internet arguments with people who try to force a trans narrative on her, it tells me they didn't read the story or pick up on its tenets at all. ikeda-san has gone on record stating how oscar stepping into her womanhood and identifying it in her own way despite how her father raised her is directly a reflection of japan's expectations of women and wanting to subvert them in the 70s.

i think the reason we see less of characters like oscar or kashima or haruka or even utena is equal parts a genre problem and a reader problem. if we consider the market, most women who enjoy bishounen content do so because it's fulfilling a fantasy, and a woman character taking the place of that decidedly male character, even if aesthetically they are identical, ruins the fantasy. and if we consider the genre, bifauxnens more routinely pop up in stories where either the plot's focus is not romance or the character's focus is not romance. and if they're made to be romantic, they are paired with a man as endgame (see: oscar's side-stories with both marie and rosalie but ending up with andre), because it is likely the story this is taking place in is a shoujou/josei story, and so they have to preserve the straight woman's fantasy, etc. etc. i'm not saying you're wrong, just that the "access" to these two types of characters are different. i would kill for standard josei/shoujou stories that had bifauxnens instead of bishounens! i want nothing more than unassuming lesbian content that caters directly to my aesthetics. unfortunately my tastes and the genre i primarily consume tend to be at odds (and i fix this by developing my own lesbian bifauxnen content, but i am not linking that here, sorry.)

this is super rambly and has no point, i'm sorry! i'll leave you with a rec for a comic that is recent and features a semi-bifauxnen as one of the two women (!) protags, "The Guy She Was Interested In Wasn't A Guy At All!". it's a cute femslash comic about two classmates, one who is mistaken for a boy while she's working by the other, and shenanigans ensue.

[chipped-chimera]

I think the large part of the reason why people get extra pedantic about those with mental illness engaging in self-destructive coping mechanisms (because that's what all of these are! Coping mechanisms! Even for those who are not 'mentally ill') is because it is loudly showing the symptom of a larger problem - that society at large has let this individual down, and badly.

Mental health attitudes have improved a lot over the recent years, but there is a certain kind of bitterness around it for me as someone who has been living with mental health issues 'officially' for 14 years (but arguably might have been my whole life) to see governments (or mine at least) finally sit up and throw more resources into mental health support services post pandemic because they KNOW it's going to have a lasting knock on effect.

Like I am glad it is happening. I am glad there is more support. But at the same time I'm wondering where was this 15 years ago when I was diagnosed with depression which would turn out to be treatment resistant over the years? Where was the care that could have gotten me out of the hole I was in and identified root issues, instead of me largely having to figure out that shit myself at 30? Where is the financial offset for the really expensive treatment I now have to get just as a last ditch effort before literal BRAIN SURGERY just so I can fucking live as someone below the poverty line? Where is recognition of the fact that every medication I have to take to keep myself stable enough to keep going is basically life support and I shouldn't have to PAY just to keep my will to live?

I know my government has launched multiple different programs over the years to try and drive down the suicide rate, but it's never put a dent in it - in fact in recent years it's getting worse. And that's because they only treat the symptom, not the problem.

Highly distressed people show up to hospitals regularly requesting to be admitted for their own safety, and if they aren't turned away (I have read some SHIT let me tell you) or abused within that system that's supposed to help them (... again, I have read some shit) once they're 'recovered' they're turfed out into the world, right back into the same situations that made them so distressed in the first place.

Neurotypical people who are 'mentally well' only get so bent out of shape over those who are highly depressed or distressed engaging in self destructive behaviour because it is in a way showing them that they have failed. They have in some way, let us down. That they did not care enough. While that distressed person is engaging in self-destructive coping mechanisms to try and self soothe or just hold on to their scrap of life by a thread - they tell us to knock it off because they can't sit with the discomfort. We're inconveniencing THEM by just trying to fucking survive.

Any depressed person has the potential to reach that end point, and unless we actually sit the fuck up collectively and get our shit together, address the REASONS people are depressed like discrimination, ableism, racism, poverty etc. nothing is going to change. Telling someone to 'knock it off because you're making me uncomfortable' isn't going to solve shit. It's only going to make it worse.

Because right now when someone has depression? That's sad. But when someone commits suicide? Now it's a tragedy.

Depression was ALWAYS a tragedy of society. And it shouldn't take someone hitting the point of self harm or death for it to be taken seriously.

Some people really hate the idea of mentally ill people fucking up or making choices that damage ourselves and it's so exhausting. So many people talk about how people should be able to make choices about their own body until it's mentally ill people self-harming, or doing drugs/alcohol, not taking meds, doing things generally considered "unhealthy" and then they decide no, actually, people should be able to take control of your right to make decisions about your body because people deemed "mentally ill" just can't be trusted.

Somehow we're not allowed to do things that bother other people, or hurt our bodies, even if other people do shit like that all the time. Somehow people considered "sane" can exercise to the point of making themselves ill, can drink and "occasionally" do drugs, can refuse to take medicine and even self-harm in ways but we're often not allowed to without someone threatening to violate our right to decide about our bodies. Because we don't understand consequences or we "might kill ourselves" but it's so ridiculous.

Like yes, we might kill ourselves. We might fuck ourselves up. We might destroy our entire lives. And? People do that! It happens! It's part of living. People do dangerous shit, people fuck up, people hurt themselves. It's not like we're the only ones who do that but even if we were, you can't puppet other people's lives just because they're living them differently.

Not without violating their right to make decisions about their body. Not without being involved in a violent system that destroys mental health and bodily autonomy. Not without being a part of a violent system that will try to make sure no one is ever free.

[04tenno]

Again thank you so much for going out of your way to write up this post, I love the nuanced breakdown on not just language but also the context- especially with Japanese where things feel particularly reliant on that.

BIG help w the 「ちょっと」 part, that was what was massively throwing me the whole time. Also, actually seeing 「辛いじゃん」written out helped me hear it in the clip. I was having a hard time making it out initially.

Speaking of making things out, that unintelligible bit does seem like it can't be helped lol, it gets jumbled for me at the same point it is in your translation too. It's frustrating because one can make out just enough sounds but it's still not identifiable.

Something else I think is interesting is that initially, on viewing the clip I heard:

「そんなに簡単にさ、 やっぱちょっと、んん…」

I had actually interpreted his bit about "winning" as separate thoughts from this, the same way he opened by saying Mine was cool. I had considered the above as the lead into his response to Kson's question of Mine possibly being "out there somewhere" vs connected to the previous thought where he was potentially talking about Mine winning him over.

I think that's actually because I went into the clip with only one thing in mind: MINE LIVED REAL. Therefore that bit, to me, read more of a "to bring him back so easily… (implied can't do it easily)" statement, related to the later mention of the difficulties that bringing him back would involve: Shido, making sure they do it right, etc. So, I think probably all my assumptions were colored by going in looking for Mine lives statements first.

Anyway, I really appreciated your response! My Japanese is almost entirely naturally acquired because it's what we speak at home, but that also means my language is limited to the kinds of discussions my family has haha. So, I don't actually know rules/grammar/all contextual usage or the why behind things. This was really helpful!

Of course, it was my pleasure! Thanks again for writing in! I'm glad I could help clarify those aspects, especially since context informed so much of my understanding. Being as Westernized as I am, I'm also in exactly the same boat with my own native language, so I totally get that. Though, while I never learned any of the "rules" for my native language, I can sort of meet Japanese halfway because it's grammatically very similar and I'm a professional copy editor.

No problem haha, it can be really tricky! As we see with Santo(?)'s line and later kson's. This is exactly why captions are important, and why I'd say getting a second opinion from a transcriptionist was worth it. I think perhaps next time I'll include the original Japanese. Really, there were a lot of things I wanted to do (like include the title of the original stream as a source or, you know, watermark the video) or should've done but which slipped my mind as I was rushing to have the clip out Wednesday, so I'll try to be more mindful in future.

Actually, I would say something along the same lines happened to me in terms of going into it with expectations... Because I originally clipped it because, you know, they're talking about Mine. But the second time I listened to the original full-length clip, I misled myself into thinking Yokoyama and Santo(?) had commented on Mine's romantic attraction/what it'd be like to date him, because my friend had mentioned earlier that they were hoping for further confirmation. So, you know, I'm glad cooler heads prevailed and I got it transcribed before I made a fool of myself lol.

[pinkautist]

because i'm feeling sentimental.

once upon a time, i resented my parents for having brought me into this world. i was angry that i had been born. i had wished that i hadn't been.

to me, everything hurt. nobody liked me. nobody loved me. not even myself. and it hurt so much. i felt unwanted by my parents. they didn't love me in the way that i needed to be loved, and so i resented them.

that resentment burned so brightly that someone called me "self-righteous" for it. i didn't think i was. i felt that my anger was perfectly justified. i had been bullied, ostracized, and was deemed undesirable by my peers, teachers, and parents, and so, my anger was justified.

but at eighteen years old, i realized that my anger wasn't going to take me far. no matter how justified i was, one day, the flames would consume me. i grew tired of seeing the world as desolate and hopeless. i remember exactly what that day was like.

i was laying on the couch. i think i had been crying. i had been talking to my brother about how miserable i was. and then i had an epiphany. what i was experiencing was existential nihilism. i had always called myself a realist, but i was a pessimist deluding myself into believing that my dull, colorless view of the world was objective -- and pessimism can often spill into nihilism. and so, i pulled my phone out, and i looked up how to recover from that mindset.

and after that, every time i ran into a problem that i could identify, i looked up how to deal with it. depression, undiagnosed autism and adhd, and at some point, so-called "daddy issues". i delved into mental health and what the human mind is capable of when under immense stress for prolonged periods of time -- which results in something called complex post-traumatic stress disorder (or cptsd) -- and mental health / psychology quickly became a very meaningful special interest of mine. equipping myself with my compassionate self-awareness and new tools that i had found during my research, i dug my way out of the hole i had found myself in. or, more accurately, i found a lifeline and began to learn how to swim.

i sometimes still feel like i'm drowning, but it doesn't feel like the end of the world anymore. during those times, i show myself love and compassion and understanding and remind myself that i know how to swim now.

and, where i once wished i hadn't been born, or that i had died somewhere along the way, i'm now glad that i had lived. i am immensely thankful to the younger versions of me for having the strength to survive. and the best part of it all is that i don't have to feel like i have to go back in time to tell those versions of myself that things do get better, because they are all here with me. each version of myself that had wished for more is here to experience it with me.

i know that this is undoubtedly true in the way that i still have to comfort myself when a childhood wound is re-opened. i know when i've gotten something i've always wanted. when i let myself behave in the ways that i had once smothered to fit in. when i cry, and i wrap my arms around myself, and i say i know that it hurts right now, and it's okay that it does, and it's okay to cry because it does, and one day, it will hurt less and i will be able to be happier more often. when i lash out because i am hurt, and i am able to process what happened and why it happened and what hurts and how to make it hurt less.

all of the versions of me that have existed are with me here today. and she cheers when she achieves something she always wanted to, and she cries and tries to defend herself when an old wound is re-opened, and she feels warm and happy and at ease when she is loved in the way that she deserves, and she cries cathartic and happy tears when she hears that she is not annoying or too much and that what she has to say is important and nice to hear. i am thankful for the fight she put up to let me be here today. i am battered and bruised and wounded but i am alive. in having survived, i am allowed to heal and finally be happy.

and, god, am i so happy that i made it.

[tonystarktogo]

I just read your time travel au, and i gotta say its the most ive enjoyed myself when readjng in awhile!!! Are you considering adding onto it at all or is the fic the last of it? I dont wanna make you feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do but i would love to see more of this au!!!!!!

I'm glad you're having as much fun with that fic as I did! At the moment I don't plan to continue this 'verse beyond what I posted in As Subtle As Cognitive Recalibration on AO3.

But if there was a continuation, it would probably go something like this:

Team Conclusive Evidence That Any Moron Can Time Travel is at a loss.

Oh, sure, the overall plan is obvious: Get Earth ready for Thanos. With a strong focus on Priority 2: Burn HYDRA to the ground. But, well. How exactly are they supposed to do that? After they just gave SHIELD the middle finger and handed the scepter and mind stone to Asgard? How are they supposed to convince Natasha and Tony of the insane truth or — failing that — a credible lie?

Also what the fuck are they supposed to do with Loki— Easy, Thor, no one here has any sort of problem with your baby bro, not even a hint, not a a smidge, nope.

Thor wants to prepare his realm for the invasion of the Dark Elves which, fair enough. No one argues. (The deal is he takes that damn scepter off planet immediately, along with the tesseract and Loki, and comes back as soon as possible to give them an idea how Asgard's gonna handle things this time around.)

(The only one unhappy with that deal is Loki who has taken to staring at Thor with something disturbing like concern. Or wariness.)

In any case, the alien side of things is officially not their biggest immediate problem and how sad is that.

Clint and Steve agree that they need to deal with SHIELDRA ASAP. That doesn't tell them how. Last time they pretty much set SHIELD on fire and watched it burn.

(Steve got so much shit from Tony for that fiasco. So many "there were better ways to handle that"s. Which he used to counter with "there was no time". They both had a point back then — but this time around time is the one resource they don't lack. And Steve knows they need to do a better job. Tony would never stand for anything less and Steve won't let him down.)

There's also the matter of avoiding the entire Winder Soldier and Accords mess if at all possible but one logistic nightmare at a time.

Hulk sulks because no one lets him spend time with Tin Man.

On an unrelated note, Hulk is the worst secret keeper on the entire team and that includes a sleep-deprived, self-medicating Tony running on caffeine and spite.

Steve and Clint start the very complicated process of trying to identify HYDRA agents and missions that they remember, putting together charts and timelines and generally doing a great impression of two increasingly panicked and paranoid conspiracy theorists. If they're gonna do this, they'll do it right and proper this time around, with research, preparation and hopefully limited collateral damage.

So they plan. Natasha would Judge™ them if they didn't. (Right after she'd murder them for keeping this secret from her.)

Maybe they can hunt one or two bases down, infiltrate the network to get their hands on SHIELDRAs data without making it obvious that they're only targeting HYDRA (SHIELD, after all and despite the fact that it kills Clint to face up to it, isn't distinguishable from HYDRA). And hey, Clint thinks he vaguely remembers one or two contacts he could call about some hacking, so there's no need to pull Tony or JARVIS into this mess either. The mere thought that HYDRA might pay him more attention than they already do thanks to his innovations is...

Steve breaks five mugs and the coffee maschine. Clint just breaks his hand.

(They'll both sleep better knowing Tony is far away from any potentially life-threatening situation until they can look their team mate in the eye without seeing his bleeding and broken body on that fucking battle field, thanks.)

Meanwhile, Hulk — still sulking and angry about it — leaves the Tower to go smash any SHIELD agents he encounters. Which, considering the teams Fury has sent to reacquire the tesseract, are quite a lot.

Right in front of Tin Man's entrance door too.