#the plan to stop drinking involves Julian getting a real dog

[trailerparkbubbs]

@melloclastic Hey I wrote some headcanons based on your idea about Julian and the dog... if you don’t wanna read them you don’t have to, or I can delete this if you want, but I thought I would let you know

Anyways headcanons below the cut:

- It happens while Ricky and Bubbles are in jail

- Julian had gotten into a fight with them because Ricky had a plan and Julian said it was stupid and that Ricky would never have any good ideas, but Ricky wanted to do the plan anyways and Bubbles went along to try and do damage control

- They ended up getting caught and going to jail for a few months... Bubbles phoned Julian from jail and said that they were doing okay but that Ricky was still pretty upset and it might be best to just not try and talk to him for a little while

- So now Julian is alone and feeling guilty and is worried that Ricky hates him forever and also oh shit he was supposed to protect Bubbles and he just walked away

- Anyways may as well get drunk in the woods right?

- He comes across a very dirty, very scrawny border collie with some porcupine quills stuck in its face

- Ricky had a run-in with a porcupine once (at least once), so at least Julian kind of knows what he’s doing, right?

- The dog whimpers when he pulls the first quill out and Julian almost has a breakdown but after a long, arduous process he’s able to get them all out

- The dog follows him home, so he washes it and feeds it 

- He actually ends up taking it to Bubbles’ shed, since there’s pet stuff in there (toys, beds, etc) and everything is already covered in cat hair so what’s a little dog hair?

- Luckily there don’t happen to be any cats there... they don’t hang out in Bubbles’ shed as much when he’s not there

- Julian sits on the bed and gets even more drunk, and the border collie lays down beside him and falls asleep on his chest

- It’s not like he’s going to disturb it or anything, so he ends up passing out there too

- It’s very weird and disorienting waking up in Bubbles’ shed... everything smells like Bubbles, of course, and he recognizes the general sounds/sights as Bubbles’ shed, so for a few minutes he thinks that Bubbles must be home, and that he just slept over, or Bubbles let him pass out here since he got too drunk/high and Bubbles was worried about Julian choking on his own vomit if he slept by himself

- Then the dog licks his face and he remembers

- Julian ends up sleepily slurring shit at the dog like “You’re tough, right? You can get through this... You’re a survivor, you don’t need anyone... Who cares if you don’t have your family anymore... We got each other... Border Collies are smart, right? You’re the smart one”

- Okay, maybe he’s still a little drunk

- He puts all his time and energy into nursing this dog back to health as much as he can

- The dog keeps getting stronger, its fur gets sleeker, it gets some energy back

- Every morning (or afternoon, depending when he wakes up) Julian and the dog go for walks out into the woods, and every night the dog falls asleep on Julian’s chest

- He makes a habit out of sleeping at Bubbles’ place, too. It’s not like Bubbles is there, anyways, since Julian fucked up and let him get sent to jail

- He’s so busy with the dog that he stops going to visit Bubbles and Ricky in jail. Ricky hates him now, anyways, right? Ricky’s better off without him

- One time Sarah asks him if he’s okay and where he’s been recently, and he just snaps at her that he’s busy and he’s got shit to take care of and it’s none of her business anyways

- Sarah tells him that it’s more about his business, as in, that bar? That he owns? That he’s supposed to be in charge of? That he’s completely forgotten about, apparently?

- He yells at her again so she leaves 

- After that nobody really tries to check up on him

- Sometimes he and the dog will go hang out down by the docks, and he can pretend that Ricky and Bubbles are fine, and the only reason he hasn’t talked to them in weeks is because he told them he was leaving. He’s the one who’s gone, not them

- They always sleep in Bubbles’ shed, though, and he’s never there

- Until, one day, he is there. Julian wakes up to Bubbles standing over him being like “Julian, what the fuck happened here? Where have you been?”

- Julian’s like, “Sorry, Bubs, I had to take care of the dog, it’s been keeping me pretty occupied. How was jail?”

- Bubbles is like, “Julian, what are you talking about? You don’t have a fucking dog.”

- Julian goes to motion to the dog, but it’s not there. He starts frantically searching for it and calling for it but it’s nowhere to be found

- Julian’s like, “There was this dog, I was nursing this dog back to health, he was here” and Bubbles is like, “Julian, the only thing you’ve been nursing is a bottle of whiskey. Sarah said you were doing bad, but I had no idea you were this far gone.”

- Julian just sits down and goes silent and won’t move

- After a while Bubbles is like, “Okay, stay here, I’ll go figure this out. Fucking dog cocksucker.” and he leaves

- Julian can hear Bubbles and Ricky arguing outside, so he starts singing to himself to cover the noise... naturally he sings Where, Oh Where, Has My Little Dog Gone?

- Eventually Ricky bursts in... he looks angry until he sees Julian sitting on the bed, drunk out of his mind, half crying, singing super off key, looking like he hasn’t showered in about a week

- Ricky, naturally, is not the most tactful

- He starts off with “Holy fuck, Julian, you look terrible... and you sound terrible, too, if you don’t stop singing I’m going to hit you, and I won a shitton of fights in jail, so you better fucking watch yourself, cause I’m the Arnold Wartsadagger fucking muscleman now”

- From there he immediately segues into “I was going to hit you anyways, but Bubbles told me you’re super drunk and freaking out about some dog or cat or something... are you sure it wasn’t just a Raykin? Those things look a lot like cats, except for they have those beaky noses, it’s easy to get confused. Anyways, you have to let them be wild... like that fucking tiger that Bubbles had. If you love something, you don’t get it for free or whatever you said,”  

- Julian cuts in to be like, “It wasn’t a raccoon, Ricky.” but Ricky’s just like “The fuck is a raccoon?” so Julian’s like “Nevermind, fucking forget it.”

- Ricky’s like, “Oh, you still think I’m stupid, huh? Well, I’ve been doing just fucking fine without you for the last four months in jail if you hadn’t noticed!”

- Julian’s like, “Bubbles said you didn’t want to talk to me, that it would be best not to try and talk to you.” and Ricky’s like, “Yeah, for a few days, not for four months! I can’t not talk to you for four months!”

- “I thought you were doing ‘just fucking fine’ without me, Rick. You’re fucking Arnold Schwarzenegger!” “What? Julian, I don’t want to fuck Arnold Swarzenpegger, you’re the one who’s in love with him and shit. And yeah, I had to be fine without you because you completely fucking abandoned me!” 

- There’s a quiet moment, and then Julian is like, “I’m sorry, about that. I found this dog in the woods, and it had these porcupine quills stuck in its face... you remember when you got the porcupine quills stuck in your ass?” and Ricky’s like “Oh, yeah... I think I fucking sat on it without realizing” and Julian’s like “No, Ricky, you fired your gun at it, scared yourself, screamed, and ended up falling onto the fucking thing” and Ricky’s like “Oh yeah”

- Julian tells him more about the dog, and about the last four months, and eventually he’s like, “I really missed you, Rick. I’m starting to think I made the dog up because I was so fucking lonely.”

- Ricky’s not even totally sure what to say to that. He just sits down on the bed next to Julian and they sit in silence for a few minutes, and then Julian’s like, “I think I might be an alcoholic,” and Ricky’s like, “You think? You’re turning into fucking Lahey here. Making up a fucking dog in your head? You’re drinking way too much.”

- Julian punches him in the arm, but just a little bit

- Ricky’s like, “Well, I’ll help you quit. First, you should take all the liquor and all the fucking dope you have, and give them to me, and I’ll safely disclose of them for you.”

- Julian’s like “You’re going to drink it, aren’t you?” and Ricky’s like “Well, not the dope, I’m probably going to smoke that,” and Julian’s like, “I love you” and Ricky’s like “I love you, too.”

- They try and hug, but it doesn’t work very well, since they’re sitting next to each other

- Bubbles comes back with some water, some warm tea with honey and lemon, and some clean clothes, and Julian gets cleaned up while Ricky and Bubbles go outside to talk

- Bubbles tells Julian that he (Julian, not Bubbles) needs to sleep, but that they’re going to have a conversation when he wakes up and make a proper plan for how Julian is going to get his drinking in check

- Julian sleeps in his own bed for the first time in months. Ricky insists on sleeping next to him because “If I leave you alone you’re gonna start drinking again... you need someone to hold you and count your bowls” and Julian’s like “Huh? Are you saying you want to sleep in my bed and fucking hold me? I thought we went over this,” and Rick is like “No, it’s an expression... like you need someone to make sure you don’t fuck up or whatever”

- Julian is pretty sure Ricky just wants a place to sleep, since the Shitmobile was impounded when he was arrested

- It’s kind of nice to have someone next to him, though, what with the dog being gone and all. He’s pretty sure having a big empty space next to him where there used to be the only thing keeping him going would, in fact, drive him to drink

- Shit, maybe Ricky is holding him accountable

- He falls asleep, eventually. It’s gonna be a rough road, but at least he’s not alone.