#the piercings are added solely for me because i deserve a treat once in a while

[trueffelmaiden]

So as I am doing very SERIOUS research for a certain fic I am writing I am going thru ur lawlight tag.... and I see you have only drawn BB ONCE.... as a shadow for a lawlight art.... T.T My boy deserves better. May I request a Beyond ?? <3 <3 (U know I luv u )

My brother in christ why are you going through my lawlight tag to find pics of your boi?? Go through my beyond birthday tag you heathen!! (jk I don't think that exists, I do actually never draw him lmaooooo)

Anyway I can't say no to those proverbial puppydog eyes, here's a Babyboy BBQ for you:

(I do struggle with not making him too much of an L clone so... I decided he's just A Dude. Like, he has to actively work on being creepy because he's just a Certified Guy. A "sits-next-to-you-on-the-subway-train-and-doesn't-even-manspread-enough-for-it-to-register"-kinda Man)

[primalsouls]

sweet like dreams

xiao x gn! reader

⚠️ : nada.

theme: fluff, a little teeny tiny bit of angst i think???

note: would i ever write angst? no. why? i suck. lmao also this was supposed to go up in the morning but i never got to finish it until now because i fell asleep ☠ oopies uuh anyway enjoy, thank you for reading, and i hope you like it! :D i appreciate every support! :) ily 🥰

⊱ ──────ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ────── ⊰

[Y/N] watched the stars twinkled above them in the dark blue sky. The moon shined brightly over the land of Liyue. No sounds other than nature reached their ears. They were in awed at the beauty the scenery gathered before their eyes. Since it was night, there was no one else in balcony. Or at least they thought so.

"What are you doing here?" A voiced demanded beside them. [Y/N] jumped at the sudden appearance of the adeptus next to them. Their eyes widen a bit. Xiao starer at them with narrowed eyes, arms crossed over his chest and brows knitted down as he waited for their answer.

[Y/N] relaxed a bit under his piercing his gaze, already used to it. "Just... stargazing." They said, hands on the rails tightened their grip. Xiao rose a brow. "I can't sleep, either." They admitted, side eyeing the view below them. The atmosphere grew silence as before, but with a little tension. They squirmed under his glare. Usually, Xiao would turn away from them after making small talk, if it was treated as one, and watch over the lands of Liyue but they never felt his eyes come off of them. Clearing their throat, [Y/N] looked back at him. "Was I interrupting you or something?" They asked. Xiao didn't give an answer. Their eyes locked with his amber ones. Fingers gently tapping the wood of the rails.

"Come sit on the roof with me." Xiao demanded, finally averting his gaze from the other, but the sole reason was to hide the blush decorating his pale cheeks. [Y/N] blinked and tilted their head, a dumbfounded look on their face. "So you can see the stars better. Nothing else." He added in quickly. Xiao turned his back on them, now being the one who felt tensed under their gaze. It was rare for Xiao to invite someone, a mortal no less, to hang with him under the stars. [Y/N] found it adorable. Xiao barely asks them to hangout, it was mostly the opposite and whenever they asked they get a cold response yet he still goes anywhere with them around Liyue. Except the harbor, of course. When he received no answers, yet, Xiao scoffed. "Forget i-"

"I'll come!" [Y/N] exclaimed happily, cutting him off. They had been so busy freaking out inside their head that the yaksha wanted them to watch the stars together on the roof. Xiao was taken back. He didn't know why. Perhaps he expected them to make up a lie. He wasn't sure but deep inside he felt... glad they accepted his offer. The adeptus shrugged, hoping his blush didn't darken as he extended his arm out for them. [Y/N] smiled brightly and took his hand. Xiao pulled them closed to him and took them to the roof. They landed softly, taking a seat next to each other.

The atmosphere grew silence once more. But this time being a comfortable vibe. The breeze felt cool against their skins. The nature sounds and their breathing was all they heard. The moon being their only source light and how it illuminated on [Y/N]'s figure, giving them a glow on their skin. Xiao watched didn't watch the stars. He focused only on one. And they sat beside him, entranced with the starry night sky. Their [e/c] eyes shined brightly like the stars. The same eyes Xiao liked to lose himself into. They made him feel safe whenever he stare into them. So full of wonder and curiosity. Curiosity that almost got them terribly hurt one time. It was the time they first met.

[Y/N] being too caught up in finding an artifact around the ruins that they failed to knowledge the ruin hunter who readied itself to launch missiles at them. They only managed to look around the area when they heard a cry coming behind them. Their eyes landed on someone as they plunged the hunter from the front with a polearm. [Y/N] was able to clearly see their savior when he jumped in front of them, back still turned on them. They were lucky to be alive due to Xiao patrolling the ruins before he left for the inn. [Y/N] remembered Xiao scolding them for being reckless, not surprised how mortals didn't value their lives and they tuned him out after the first few sentences, too focused on wondering who he was.

[Y/N] had learned that Xiao was an adeptus who made a contract with Rex Lapis to protect Liyue from unwanted enemies, thanks to the boss lady of the Inn who informed them when they stopped by to rest. They also learned his favorite dish was Almond Tofu. It was there that they decided to make the dish and offered it to Xiao as a thank you gift for the save from the ruin hunter. Of course, Xiao being Xiao, didn't came to them the first time they stepped foot into the balcony. They brushed it off, though, believing he was out patrolling again but in reality, he watched them from the roof.

And now, there they were. Both sittinc together under the stars. It felt comfortable and safe. No dangers. No voices eating Xiao up. That was what made Xiao fall for them. [Y/N] made the voices in his head disappear. The cries and screams no longer guilting him. But whenever they left for a commission, the voices would return. He made them promised him to call his name incase they was facing danger. There were times Xiao question their relationship, if he calls it one, and ask himself... does he deserve it? This one good thing in his life? He didn't want to hurt [Y/N]. And he didn't want to be hurt once they part from this world. But those thoughts never last long in his head. Not when he felt a hand interlocked with his. He was met with the same [e/c] eyes, now filled with concern.

"Xiao, are you okay?" They asked, their voice soft and gentle to not break the silence. The yashka blinked, taking a deep breath as he glanced at their hands. A familiar fluttering he had felt on previous days whenever he was around them was in his heart. He nodded.

"Why'd you ask?" Xiao questioned back.

"Because I was talking to you but you didn't say anything? I looked over and you were staring at me. So, I wonder if I said anything bad or something?" [Y/N] said. Xiao shook his head, his eyes now focused on the actual stars.

"Just... had a lot in my mind." He muttered. He was glad their hand didn't let go of his. He liked the warmth it provided. [Y/N] frowned. Whenever he had a lot on his mind, it made Xiao distant himself from them for a few days. They didn't want that. So, they slid a bit closer to the adeptus, knees touching. It made Xiao glanced at them with a brow raised. They only smiled genuinely at him. His eyes fell to their lips, tracing them over, wondering hos they feel against his own. And without a second thought behind those amber eyes, Xiao reached over, cupped their cheek with his free hand to keep them facing him and locked his lips with theirs.

An action so forbidden to Xiao. And just out of nowhere. Was he thinking? No. Did they mind the kiss? No. It made their heart melt. But it was just not something Xiao would initiate. Being who he was and how he was. He had told them before he didn't understand human emotions. How they work and what they do. But he watched many couples at the Inn interact with those affections they shared amongst themselves. Maybe... He wanted to understand. And he wanted to understand it with [Y/N]. It was what he told them after the kiss. Both left flustered and faces red. No eye contact as they both replay the scene and tried to memorize each other's lips.

Before [Y/N] could say anything, Xiao beat them to it.

"You taste better than I thought you would." He said bluntly. The words threw them off. Leaving them more of a blushing mess than he was. "Sweet... like the dreams." Xiao whispered, being the first to glance back at them after the kiss was given. [Y/N] stuttered out a reply, locking their eyes with Xiao's, smiling bashfully.

"You mean like a-almond tofu?" They teased, sending a wink towards him. Xiao huffed, letting go of their hand to fold his arms as he closed his eyes.

"Don't get too head of yourself." He said quietly, turning his head away to stop them from seeing the blush creeping back on his face.

"Ooh," [Y/N] pouted. "Well, tomorrow, we'll have an almond tofu date. Then you'll see who's sweeter." Xiao rolled his eyes, a faint smile on his face as he listened to their idea of a date.

[galvanizedfriend]

KC Bingo 2020: Drabble

Because there were so many winners on the @klaroline-events 2020 Bingo, I'm helping out @itsnotacrimetoloveyou with some of the drabble awards. Hope you guys don’t mind this. You were in for an exclusive Luiza piece and instead you get me! lol I promise I’m doing my best.

This is for @klavscaroline and her GORGEOUS manip with the theme "Rome".

Years of fighting as a gladiator had Niklaus prepared when he is caught with the Emperor’s wife, Caroline, in the Sanitarium after dark.

So I have to clarify that my knowledge of Ancient Rome is extremely limited, and even though I DID consult with Prof. Google for some of the stuff in the drabble (like to find out what a sanitarium was and how Emperors and Empresses were addressed at the time), I'm sure it's all shades of wrong. Hopefully I'm not offending anyone, but just take this as a grain of salt, ok? Ok, then.

Also, I added a TWIST to the plot. lol Sorry? I think?

Your manip was way too gorgeous, @klavscaroline, and I could never match it, but I hope you like this. :) Also, congrats on your full card and THANK YOU for always making such amazing KC content!

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Caroline slows down her purposeful steps and smooths out the concern creasing her expression into practiced aloofness before she enters the sanitarium.

To her luck, there's only one patient there, accompanied by the physician who's seeing to his wounds. The other fighter was killed in combat at the arena, his body simply carried out to be ditched in a shallow grave somewhere.

The man has been undressed of his tunic, left in only a loincloth hiding his modesty. A light sheen covers his sun-tanned skin from the exertion, dirty blonde curls matted to his forehead. Normally, these would be sights that would make Caroline's insides twist rather inappropriately. Now, however, all she can focus on is the blood. All over the man's discarded tunic, all over his torso, gushing from a wound on his shoulder.

She swallows back the bile that rises to her mouth, suddenly raked with nausea. When his piercing blue eyes meet hers, her heart gives a violent lurch. Despite her nerves, she lets out a relieved breath. Thank the gods.

"My queen," the physician says, blinking with surprise. It's not common for the Empress to go down to the sanitarium, especially after a fight, especially on her own, and especially when there's a man being treated there. It’s not a very womanly environment, the smell of blood and sweat staining the air.

"The Emperor wants to know what's his best warrior's condition," she announces solemnly with as bland an expression as she can muster.

"Just a superficial wound, my queen," the physician offers. "No damage to the muscle tissue. Provided it doesn't get infected, he should heal well."

"Then what are you doing there, standing? His wounds need cleaning and dressing. Go see to it."

"Y-yes, of course," the man stammers, startling out of inertia. "I will be back in a moment."

The man scurries out of sight, leaving the two of them alone.

Klaus arches his eyebrows at her, an amused smile playing on his lips.

Caroline's pretense calm explodes into nerves. "How can you be so careless?" she snaps.

"Is that the Emperor asking?"

She simply ignores his attempt at a humorous jab and proceeds with the scolding. "You fight like a lunatic, Klaus. One of these days -"

"I will die. And so will every other man on this land," he says with a lightness that does not belong to a man with an open wound on his shoulder. "I can assure you, however, that my death shall not happen at the arena."

She huffs out in indignation. "Your hubris really knows no bounds."

"You say that based on a little scratch?"

"A little scratch!" she parrots, taken with heat as she walks over to him. The physician left a basin with clean water and a towel beside it. Caroline wets the towel and proceeds to clean the wound, being as gentle as possible, even though he hardly deserves it. Not that it makes a difference; Klaus keeps his too-sharp eyes trained on her, his features as bland and agreeable as ever. Doesn't even wince when she rubs the towel against the cut. It looks terrible, but it is definitely not as bad as she'd envisioned as she watched the combat from the stands. "Do you feel no pain?" she asks, a light thrum of fear coloring her voice.

"Of course I feel pain."

"Doesn't that hurt?" She touches the towel across the wound again, most of the blood now gone from his shoulder.

"Yes. But pain is good. Pain reminds us to be afraid," he says, lips curling upwards a tad more, eyes glowing with fire and danger. Oh, Niklaus..., she thinks. Such a force of nature. Caroline had no mercy on her poor heart when she got herself involved with him.

"Pain makes you reckless," she admonishes.

"No. What makes me reckless is the fear of pain. I try to avoid it."

She scoffs. "You could have me fooled." She puts the towel down, her fingers grazing over a pair of scars not far from the new one he'll likely get. Sometimes, at night, while he sleeps, she counts the scars on his back, his arms, his legs... There are so many. She swears he gets a new one every day, growing them as though one who grows hair. Some small and almost imperceptible to less attentive eyes, eyes not used to roam over the plains and valleys of his body with such regard; some so large they bring a chill to her heart, thinking of how close she's come to losing him. "Soon enough there won't be a single unblemished patch of skin on your body."

He holds her hand, presses her palm down against his chest, above his heart. Its strong, steady beats give her a measure of comfort. "Does that concern you?"

Caroline’s lips twist. "What do you think?"

With a swift and agile move, Klaus wraps his arms around her and pulls her up on to the gurney, rolling over so that her body is pressed down underneath his. A man with a gash on his shoulder and dozen other bruises should be howling in pain right now, but Niklaus merely smiles, a large and predatory grin that looks absolutely sinful on his rosy lips.

Still, Caroline's heart drums away in her chest, her eyes flitting nervously to the entrance. "What are you doing?" she grits out. "He'll be back -"

"In a bit," Klaus remarks with all the calm in the world. "He went all the way to the dispensary for his dressing items. The Emperor's best warrior can only be treated with the best. If I get an infection, it will be his head hanging outside the walls."

"Someone could walk in -"

"Yes?" he edges his face closer, his mouth hovering an inch away, chest to chest, hip to hip. "And what would you do?" he whispers, warm breath ghosting her lips.

"I would..." Caroline breathes out, the hand that should be shoving him away sliding up to his hair. "Scream."

She pulls his head down, cutting the final space between them, mashing Klaus' mouth against hers in a plundering kiss. All the worry, all the prayers she made for the gods to protect him, the breath she held as she marched down to the sanitarium after watching him being helped out of the arena - it all bleeds out of her in that kiss. She relishes the taste of him, that urgent and hungry tongue that wrestles her into submission.

Another day she could've lost Klaus; another day he lives to make her heart swell with joy and lust.

"Now would be the moment to scream."

Klaus jumps from the gurney like thunder, grabbing his sword in the process and pointing it straight to the throat of the intruder. Caroline's heart stutters to a stop.

The Emperor stands there, totally unfazed by the sharp sword aimed at his neck, his classic stoic expression unmoved. He merely cocks Klaus a curious eyebrow. "Not contented enough with sleeping with your Emperor's wife, Niklaus?" he asks flatly. "Are you going to commit regicide and fratricide all at once now to add to your list of misdemeanors?"

Klaus puts down his sword. The light wince as he does so does not escape Caroline's eyes. He's in more pain than he's willing to admit, the arrogant bastard.

"You know better than to sneak up on me like that, Elijah," Klaus grumbles.

"And you know better than to straddle my wife in a sanitarium, Niklaus." He turns his pointed gaze to Caroline, then. "I expect this kind of barbaric behavior from him, but you, Caroline? I'm disappointed."

She averts his gaze, her cheeks burning with embarrassment as she stands to her feet, fixing her tunic and her hair. "He grabbed me," she says, the excuse weak to her own ears. "I was merely here to check that he hadn't lost a limb or bled to death with his carelessness."

Elijah lets out a weary sigh. "You two are free to conduct your activities however you please, so long as it's away from prying eyes. That was the deal. I have far too many responsibilities to suddenly find myself dragged into a scandal between my wife and my brother." He fixes his dark eyes on his younger brother then, a smile finally breaking onto his handsome face. "I would so hate to have to punish you for your indiscretions, Niklaus."

"You don't seem fazed by the prospect, brother."

"Then don't test me. How's your wound?"

"A scratch."

"It's not just a scratch," Caroline cuts in sharply. "The physician said it's superficial, but it's at risk of infection."

"How much longer do you intend to keep putting your life at risk at the arena like you’re a common gladiator, Niklaus?" Elijah asks.

"How much longer until you find me a real war to fight?"

"I know you were far too restless to sit through our childhood lessons, but let me remind you that the general idea is to keep the Empire at peace."

Klaus snorts. "You and your philosopher's heart."

Caroline feels her blood boil at his derision. "Most men choose to fight so that they can preserve their lives and that of their families," she starts, spitting fire at him. "You, on the other hand, run in the opposite direction. Like a madman without a purpose, you chase mortal danger like that is the sole purpose of your existence. And then you laugh at your brother's concern - at my concern. Like we're idiots for even caring. If you can't grow yourself a philosopher's heart, perhaps you should at the very least grow yourself a conscience."

Klaus stares at her with wide eyes and parted lips, somewhat taken aback, while Elijah's mouth ticks up into a smile, a flicker of humor and warmth in his brown eyes.

"I am ever glad to have wedded such a wise woman. If my appeals fall on deaf ears, perhaps hers might reach you," he says. "I have business to see to. Please, refrain from fornicating out here. And Niklaus..." he waits until his brother has turned back to him. "Get this wound cleaned up and dressed, soon."

With all the grace and poise befitting of the Emperor, Elijah turns around and leaves.

Klaus gives her a near diffident look under his fair lashes, having the decency to appear guilty.

Caroline folds her arms across her chest. "I can't keep watching you challenge men to try and kill you every fortnight."

"I'm a warrior, Caroline. My brother's a diplomat, a ruler. I'm a fighter. He's the brain, I'm the muscle. You knew that when you married him... When you married us."

Caroline puffs out in frustrated derision. "I married him because I had to. Because it was the bargain he stroke with my father. But perhaps I made a mistake, then, when I fell in love with the wrong brother."

"Don't say that," he retorts, genuinely stricken. "You know I'm a jealous man."

"Oh? Are you challenging Elijah next, then?"

"Of course not. If I killed my brother, the Empire would descend into chaos and I would be forced to take his place and murder my way through countless political intrigues, which would leave me with little to no time for the one thing I'm truly passionate about."

"Arenas," she offers with disdain.

"You." Klaus' eyes soften then, no longer wild with raw excitement; something tender and gentle shining through the stormy blue. A look, she knows, only bestowed to her. It tugs directly at her heart, and she feels a glow of affection rising through the anger and the concern. "I'm addicted to you, Caroline. The arenas are a mere distraction. You are the sun of my life."

She bites back on a smile. The same wicked tongue that lashes out at enemies with the more depraved of curses can also worship and conjure the sweetest of promises. "If what you say is true... Then, as your queen, I command you to stay away from the arenas until your wound is fully healed and no longer at risk of reopening. You shall stay with us, at the royal chambers, where you can be cared for by the Emperor's physician. The Emperor demands so."

Klaus smirks lazily. "Well, we wouldn't want to vex the Emperor."

"No, we absolutely wouldn't." She checks that her clothes are all perfectly in place, squaring her shoulders and straightening her posture as she prepares to leave. "Now lie down and wait for the man to return. Then ask your servants to prepare your relocation. It might be awhile before you go back to your own home, so bring whatever you might need. I shall have a warm bath ready for when you arrive."

Klaus walks over to her, taking her hand and lifting it up to his lips. "That's very kind of you, my queen," he says, the thrum of his voice traveling through her like a lightning bolt.

"Yes, I am infinitely generous." She edges closer, narrowing her eyes with malicious intent. "And expect to be rewarded for it."

She waltzes out to the sound of Klaus' rich laughter. Oh, how she loves that sound...

[thirstyforlulu]

Alucard x Reader: For Your Convenience Chapter 5

You opened the door, unsure of what to say. How should you greet them? “Hello, welcome to my master’s house,” no that sounds awful.

The door creaked loudly, practically blocking out your thoughts. With it fully opened, you came face to face with a woman with long blond hair and incredibly piercing blue eyes. Her looks caught you off guard and from the way she raised her brow you did the same to her.

“Hello, has anyone else arrived for the meeting?” She asked, quickly bouncing back from her shock.

“Y-Yes ma’am, but only a few. P-Please follow me,” You said, bowing and gesturing in the direction of the dining hall.

“Wonderful. Walter, take my bags to whatever room I’ll be staying in. Alucard will show you the way,” The woman said to her butler who was politely standing to the side.

They both stepped inside, while the woman stood and waited for you to lead the way, Walter walked off to find Alucard. He seemed to know the way since he headed straight for the sitting room where the others were relaxing.

The woman stretched, taking off her long coat. You went to take it from her, which you figured was what a maid would do, but she stopped you, choosing to hang it on the rack by herself.

“Don’t worry. I can tell you’re not doing this because you want to,” She said, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“Have I made it obvious? I am so sorry please don’t get Alucard involved,” You cried, thinking she was going to report you.

“Relax, I won’t tell anyone. I wonder though, how did you find yourself in this predicament?’ She asked, leading you toward the meeting room.

“I-I wanted to help the village nearby. I promised him myself in exchange for the lives he would take,” You explained while looking down at your feet in shame.

“Interesting, what makes you different from all the ones who came before you?” She asked, rhetorically.

“Pardon?”

“Nothing, my name is Integra. What’s yours?”

“Y/N.”

“I look forward to getting to know you y/n,” She said as you two arrived.

The others walked up to greet her, happily exchanging pleasantries as you returned to your job watching the door.

Next to arrive was a young blonde woman and a tall redheaded man. The girl smiled when she saw you, quickly taking your hand before you could say anything.

“Hello! Who are you?” She asked excitedly.

“My name is y/n, if you’ll follow me I’ll take you to the meeting,” You said, trying to sound professional.

“Awww I like your name. I’m Seras, has Alucard told you about me yet?”

“I don’t think so, but I’m fairly new.”

“That’s alright, it probably just hasn’t come up, I’m his fledgling!”

You’d heard the term before and knew what it meant, but it was still incredibly foreign to you. Alucard turned her? You wondered what the situation surrounding that was like, was it her idea or his?

“Sorry, this is Pip, my fledgling” Seras said, turning and smiling at the redhead.

“That’s wonderful, if you two would follow me.”

They held hands and followed you into the meeting room where everyone else was already seated. Alucard was at the head of the table, Integra to the right with Walter standing alert behind her, and Luke and Jan were to the left but two seats down. Seras and Pip took the empty spaces, greeting the gathered group before sitting down.

The others who came were just random vampires who didn’t really leave any sort of impression on you. They seemed bland, lacking in interesting qualities besides the fangs in their mouths. Some of them treated you like dirt, tossing their coats at you without a thought.

When you lead a male vampire in, Alucard gestured to the bottle of wine sitting on the serving table to his side, letting you know it was time to start pouring. You ran over with a nod, then began carefully pouring glass after glass for the gathered guests. Once you were done, Al pointed to a corner for you to stand in. As you took your place, he stood and tapped his glass.

“Thank you all for coming. It is a pleasure to see you all gathered here. As you all know, there has been a development in Anaroma regarding the artificial vampires, Integra, you have the floor to explain your findings,” He said, starting the meeting.

Finally, it all clicked in your brain. Anaroma, the magic capital of the world, was said to have a witch so powerful she had every vampire in the world under her thumb. This had to be her.

“Thank you, Alucard,” She began, standing and addressing the rest of the room. “For the last 3 months, artificial vampires have been appearing in Anaroma. I was first alerted to their existence when one of them donated their blood to me for a spell and it went awry. I have since devised a spell that will mark any artificials with a red A on the back of their neck. Up until recently, the number of artificials has stayed relatively with a new one appearing once a week or so, but the numbers have changed. Now we’re looking at three or four. Whoever is doing this has become more efficient.”

Seras raised her hand and Integra waved to allow her to speak.

“Do we have any intel on where they might be coming from? Is there a certain part of town they seem to be based in?” She asked.

You noticed one of the vampires raise their glass for a refill so you quickly walked over with the bottle.

“Not that we can tell. I’ve had Walter keep a map of where the artificials lived, but there doesn’t seem to be any discernable pattern.”

Another vampire raised their hand.

“An artificial appeared in Rosta a few days ago. They were killed before we could gather any information however. All we could tell is they were a citizen of the city, but we don’t know of any connections in Anaroma.”

“That could mean they traveled there or whoever is doing this is expanding their little project,” Integra groaned.

Everyone in the room shared worried glances, clearly unnerved by the implications.

“Right now we need to focus on finding out how they are being created. If we can learn the method we can maybe track whoever has access to the resources needed to pull it off. Pip, has your team managed to make any headway?”

Pip shrugged.

“Well, we haven’t managed to create an artificial yet, but we have managed to get close. We found that when injected with the blood of a vampire the patient seems to exhibit signs of vampirism, but it doesn’t seem to be permanent,” Pip explained.

“Given the culture of magic in Anaroma, Vampire blood isn’t that hard to get a hold of. It wouldn’t surprise me if it were involved in the process,” Integra added.

“Walter, look into the market for vampire blood, see if you can pinpoint the major buyers, and report back to us. Pip, I’d like you and your team to tone down the scale of experimentation. Focus on one or two patients that have shown the most promise and stop testing on the others. Everyone else, keep an eye out for new artificials. If you suspect you may have found one contact Integra, so she may perform the spell to know for sure. Does anyone have any other concerns?” Alucard asked.

The others all shook their heads. With that Alucard stood up.

“Well, I think that brings our meeting to a close. If any of you require accommodations for the night please speak with me.”

With that, everyone stood up and began socializing. You were a little overwhelmed to see them all standing. Suddenly the large room appeared tiny and you felt yourself getting lightheaded. Nobody attempted to talk to you thankfully, so you didn’t have to worry about holding yourself together for a conversation.

A male vampire cut through the crowd and approached you, holding his empty glass out.

“Can I get a refill darling?” He asked, getting an eyefull of your outfit.

“S-Sure,” You replied, unable to meet his startling yellow eyes.

As you poured the wine, you began to feel more and more lightheaded with each second. Everything was beginning to go black, the only thing you were aware of was a hand holding you up.

“You smell incredible, it would be foolish to leave without a meal like you,” The vampire said mere inches from your face.

Before you passed out, however, the man dropped you, causing you to fall limply to the ground. The fuzzy feeling in your head disappeared instantly, and you opened your eyes to see what was happening.

Alucard held the other vampire roughly by the arm, twisting it into an unnatural position. The vampire quivered in place, worried for his life.

“To think scum like you would attempt to steal from me. You don’t even deserve the dirt stuck in my soles!” Alucard hissed, turning the man’s arm even further.

“I hadn’t meant any disrespect. I figured this was just another human for us all to feed from. If I had known they were such a precious specimen I would have never-”

“Get out of my house.”

The vampire nodded, grabbing his things and running off like a wounded animal. Everyone who was watching the spectacle turned and pretended not to notice, hoping not to incur his wrath on accident.

He didn’t help you up, instead, Alucard just walked away to return to socializing. You managed to slowly lift yourself back up, nearly losing your balance as your wobbly legs struggled to take on your full weight.

“Here let me help,” Seras said, taking your arm to support you.

Pip took the other, and the two of them led you away from it all and into the sitting room. They carefully lowered you down onto a couch and brought you a glass of water.

“Felling better?” Seras asked.

“Getting there.”

“I’ve never seen him act like that before,” Seras muttered.

“What?” You asked, unsure if you’d heard her correctly.

“Alucard has never cared much for humans, always seeing them as nothing more than food. When he turned me, he said it was because he saw aspects of himself in me, but I wonder what makes him want to keep you?”

You didn’t respond, prompting her to sit up and encourage you to drink more.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t be pushing this information on you. You just sit here and relax, we’re going to turn in. Don’t push yourself,” She said, taking Pip’s hand and leading him off.

You were only able to wave goodbye, too delirious to form a proper sentence. At some point, you managed to dose off as you were awoken with a start by Alucard. He was right in front of you, glaring down with his arms crossed.

“I hope you’ve enjoyed me making a fool of myself to come to your rescue. I’m starting to wonder if your blood is worth the trouble you’re causing me,” He growled.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“Shut up, the only apology I need from you is silence,” He interrupted, grabbing your chin and turning it to the side.

With your neck exposed, you tensed in fear knowing what was coming next. His fangs pierced your skin like needles pulling a tiny scream from you. As he began to drink, you felt yourself growing weak. You tried to push him off, but it was like trying to move a mountain.

When he pulled away, he had drunk so much your vision was getting blurry.

“You will tend to the guests tonight and tomorrow, but after that, your punishment will continue. He said, getting up and heading towards his room.

You didn’t move, scared that if you did you’d faint. His footsteps stopped a few feet from you and you could hear him shuffle as he turned around.

“Remember, even though I’m not right there, I will be watching you,” He warned then continued his trip to his room.

Once he was gone, you breathed a sigh of relief. Knowing it wasn’t safe to get up yet, you chose to continue laying down with your arm covering your eyes until you felt well enough to move. Your breathing was fast and labored, coming out in loud bursts. You thought you were alone, but then someone appeared in front of you.

“Drink this,” Integra said, handing you a small vial with a silver-colored liquid inside.

You jumped, not expecting her to be there. At first, you were skeptical of the drink, but seeing the determination on her face made you feel better about it. It had a strange fruity taste to it that didn’t really sit right with you, but once you had swallowed it all you felt instantly better.

“Thank you,” You said, handing her the vial back.

“You’re welcome.”

Looking at the floor, you once again found yourself too intimidated to speak, but there was a question burning within you that you just had to ask.

“Why are you helping me?”

Integra smiled standing in front of you.

“Why not? I am interested to see what will become of all of this, and I can’t help but feeling that you’ll be playing an important role in it all,” She replied cryptically.

Before you could ask more, she had walked off in the direction of, you assumed, her room.

[migleefulmoments]

Abb/y has something to s/ay

Let me premise this by reminding everyone that Abby -like Trump-doesn’t “get” comedy. They literally do not understand jokes, punchlines, or humor. So a satirical show about the Hollywood song writers falls flat. Her time away did nothing to sway her conspiratorial aspirations or her misogynistic hatred of Mia. She watched Royalties not once, but twice... not to enjoy Darren’s creativity and performance, not to support the celebrity she stans, and not even to crack up at the humor, no she watched twice because she was looking for confirmation bias. She wanted to document all of the ways Darren wrote his CrissColfer truth into Pierce’s life and she obsessively listened to all of the diss-tracks he wrote to attack his wife.  

Let me also premise this by saying I loved the show. I thought it was funny and the songs are so damn catchy.  The lyrics are quintessential Darren- funny, very clever, and raunchy.  

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R/oyalties, the Tale of Two Shows with a Heaping Side of Meta

ajw720. So I just finished watching R/oyalties for the second time, this time solely focused on the meta.  Look, we all know, the show is not good, it was not well written and the short format didn’t help as there was no option to develop character or plot.  But D knew it would not be good, he apologized for it back in January 2019.  And I think the effort he put into acting was the effort it deserved. Ok.

But his songs were genius.  As were the videos, hence why i call it the tale of two shows.  It truly was like watching content made by completely different people. I concur with MH, D is “intensely talented.”  And the part of this show he poured his blood, sweat, and tears into, the songs, are evident of this.

But this is a post about that Heaping Side of Meta. I think D, knowing that that show would not be made in the manner he envisioned, instead used it as a vehicle to make some bold statements and parallels with his career and public life.  Shall we begin?  And please, unlike the perfect song, this is not a perfect post and after the second round of watching i canceled my Quibi subscription and never plan to look back, so please feel free to add. I know some of these have been pointed out but I thought it was valuable to have one post.

One idea to inpsire the song?  A tiny FROG on a dime.

D’s shirt 1st seen in Episode 2: “It is hard to soar like an Eagle when you are surrounded by turkeys”

And of course “Call me Goldilocks bitch”  Remind you of something?

How about the entirety of Episode 3 when we are told that an artist is completely the product of the team.  That no matter what the artists expresses they want, it doesn’t matter because the Label/manager/publicist/on camera agent/legal will always have a say. And how it will play in America or the Foreign market are key metrics of how the product is produced and presented.  I love the line of the songwriter that tells P/ierce and S/ara to “get out while they are young.”  Or the line by one of her team “we don’t want something different, we want something the same that is different.”  And in the end P&S simply took one of KK old songs and reworked it, making something different that is not different and her team loved it.  

And of course, the line that was an utter slap in the face to the most over praised “director” of an indie band video ever when D reminds her of the real director in his life, the man set to direct major motion pictures, “you know who would be perfect to direct? C/hris.  C/hris would shatter this.”

Not much in Episode 4, but the gorilla suit in my opinion was mocking of a certain MMR video where we watched Swiller and a banana in a song about a gorilla.  Images I never need to see in my head again.

Episode 5, a gem, I am still so fucking proud of D and how he mocked her throughout the entirety of the episode.  New lines I love of that amazing song he wrote about her (in addition to those i posted previously here) “Some people say I’m a  genius, which comes from the greek word for Latin, and other people will say, alright in fact i’m a fuckin’s genius” “I’m not saying I’m a god, but I’m not saying I’m not a god.”  Mocking at its finest made all that much better by the band’s name “Switchback Jacket” that D describes as “butt rock emo” that is performed by a band that doesn’t actually sing, they are just the public image.  He literally told us that what we see is an image created for the public and that it is completely fake.  And he used his beard to make this statement. Just brilliant.  I cannot praise him enough for this, stealing her moment in the sun and making her look like an utter fool, telling us just how narcissistic she is.

Also some wonderful lines from that episode that are beyond telling:

“Power, it felt good to remind Kevin that I hold power over him. You always want to be the one with power”

“p/ierce wouldn’t know where to take a shit if I didn’t tell him.”

“she is like my wife except we don’t have sex and we are friends.”

“alright boss, I am ready to record that song, but where should i take a shit?”

“You will do anything to succeed.”

Episode 8 starring “Poly Amorous and the Unicorn Guild” an episode used to shine a light on how absurd it is that people believe D&PBB lived with platonic roomie B/enny for something like 4 years.  3 grown ass adults, all of whom have money to spare lived together in a relatively small house for four years.  It is pure comedy that anyone would believe that this is normal.  But hey these are the same people that explained away the infamous arm around her while at an awards show with D looking on:

And the cherry on top of this episode, the inclusion of C/huck (for some background, see my post here).

I really like the one bit of dialogue between P&S, where D pretty much tells us once again that M will use anyone to get what she wants:

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe just maybe, I don’t like where we are now? There were a lot of really great things about the way things were.  Things that are worth preserving.  Not that you just take and use and through out.”

Episode 9 had some really impactful lines:

“you think i wouldn’t steal for my career? You think I wouldn’t lie?  I would do anything.”

The Neils being the nameless individuals, nothing more than a number, who are the ones who actually create the product.  And then the song, some of the translations are D telling you how he feels, because sometimes i think in terms of his public image he is just a Neil trying to escape the cage that has been built around him:

“I dream about getting away, I have been locked up in this cage wishing i could make my escape. I hate that I need you.”

And finally Episode 10, where we learn the Neils get no credit and no royalties. This reminds me of a script C wrote that never saw the light of day but suddenly the next season of AHS had the same theme as his script.

And that is all i got, if you have more please add. I think the fact that D took what he knew would be a mediocre project and projected his voice and story throughout it was pretty genius and a smart way to utilize this vehicle, that was clearly payout for so many that have used him for years and to shine a bright light on the truth.

elicc  The “perfect song”’s performer is called Bailey Rouge, a clear link to TLOS.

He is a genius.

ajw720   @elicc damn, that was on my list and I forgot. And we all know who Red is inspired by, so seems fitting Bailey Rouge would get the perfect song.

ajw720. Just adding one more I thought about putting in my original post but admittedly think it’s a stretch. But maybe not? Just adding here for fun.

When Theo tells P to bottle up all his romantic feelings I couldn’t help but think of a certain chapter in a book

*******************************************

Oy Vei! Abby didn’t use her time away getting any therapy or perspective.  She hasn’t learned any lessons. I have no doubt she’s been reading just as much as she did before and she’s speaking to Cassie, Flowers et al all day. It’s really sad. It’s sad that she can’t see how silly she sounds, what an asshole her version of Darren is. If she could restrain herself even a little bit it might come off less unhinged because turning every single moment of Royalties into some crisscolfer wet dream reeks of desperation. 

Abby hates Royalties. In last week’s “Dear D” she had the audacity to say 

....Fans that are beyond devoted and mainly because of the way you have treated fans with respect and a level of caring that far surpasses the majority of public figures.  And while I am not enjoying the show itself, the music shows how diverse you are as a writer and how you can virtually write for anyone or any genre. The songs are fantastic.  Memorable.  And really fun.  

She knows the the Langs wrote the show and Darren wrote the songs but what she can’t seem to comprehend is that Darren IS Royalties. Everything in the show is Darren’s.  

Staying in the closet would be less painful than trying to express oneself through a short-form satirical comedy.  Can you imagine trying to express your devastation and pain through Kick Your Shoes off or Break It In? 

“I’m the king of the hard fuck....pile drive the bed like a young buck...if you like feathery shit thats pretty cool but I don’t need that...people say I fuck too soft, saying that I can’t please a woman” 

BTW Abby- “call me goldilocks bitch” isn’t a reference to TLOS it’s a reference to Goldilocks and Three Bears because because he fucks perfect, not too soft, not too hard. It’s much more believable that he is referring to a random nursery rhyme than it is to believe he is referring to a children’s book his lover/husband/boyfriend wrote 8 years ago. You might love the book but Chris has moved on and written new things. 

Darren wrote funny lyrics. I loved Kick Your Shoes Off because it’s written by a man whose watched his wife and female friends wear painful shoes for the same of fashion even though its painful as fuck.   

“Yeah, I’m a bad bitch so don’t be mad bitch. I turned the room into a catwalk like a sad bitch. I can’t feel my toes in these stilettos. when I walk out my roomate says you’ll regret those....Beauty is pain but oh I look amazing.  You won’t hear me complaining but oh my instep (inside?) is screaming...kick your shoes off (kick em off) ooooooo I do what I want..(Kick em off) ooooo Hey I can’t walk in these, blisters start to bleed now both my feet are swollen. Kick your shoes off (Kick em off).....It’s like i feel so good when my shoes are on, but like i also feel sooooo good when they are off” 

Abby’s convinced I am So Much Better Than You is straight up about Mia because Mia is in the video. She listened to it on repeat the day after it came out. In her “Letter to D” last week she said 

Especially after you made an effort to mock her for the entirety of Tuesday when her episode aired (and for the record I am still really, really proud of what you did with that episode and how you handled the roll out, that is the fighter I admire and that inspires me.  I listened to I am so much better than you on repeat on my drive home from work yesterday).   

Good Lord  The lyrics are as silly as all the other songs: “My mirror wants to bone me (but it can’t because it’s a mirror)” How did Abby miss the obvious TLOS mirror/ Halloween costume reference here?  

“You keep doing push ups while I get buff eating mac and cheese (with overpriced lobster and truffles because I’m worth it)”  

“Some people say I’m a genius (which comes from the greek work for latin) Some other people will say yeah I’m right I’m a fucking genius (I’m not saying I’m a god but I’m not saying I’m not a god). 

“And even when you sneeze, God blesses me, he blesses me. And even when you sneeze, god blesses me, he blesses me, he blesses me”

“I’m am so much better than you at everything”. 

She believes Darren would be- and stay- married to a women that he publicly ridicules and attacks. I don’t get why she thinks that is something admirable . 

She thinks Also You is referring to Ben living with them.  Where to start with this one? She says

“Episode 8 starring “Poly Amorous and the Unicorn Guild” an episode used to shine a light on how absurd it is that people believe D&PBB lived with platonic roomie B/enny for something like 4 years.  3 grown ass adults, all of whom have money to spare lived together in a relatively small house for four years.  It is pure comedy that anyone would believe that this is normal.  But hey these are the same people that explained away the infamous arm around her while at an awards show with D looking on”

I’m gobsmacked.  Also You is about Polyamory. She doesn’t even understand her own theories if she thinks that is the message Darren wants to share about Mia and Ben.  In no world would someone try to proclaim their wife was cheating on them with a live-in houseguest by writing an episode called Poly Amorous and the Unicorn Guild.  Also, someone needs to explain cuckholding to her because her theories about Ben and Mia make Darren a cuck.  

OMG I just realized that Darren is a cuck and Royalties proves it.  He hired Kether to be his costar in Royalties,...Kether is in You’re the Worst as Lindsay.  Lindsay cuckholds her husband. Bam! mic drop.   

Why isn’t Perfect Song about Mia, you know, if we are playing confirmation bias “No one is as good as you because you're my perfect song” 

[readbookywooks]

[A further account of Glubbdubdrib. Ancient and modern history corrected.] Having a desire to see those ancients who were most renowned for wit and learning, I set apart one day on purpose. I proposed that Homer and Aristotle might appear at the head of all their commentators; but these were so numerous, that some hundreds were forced to attend in the court, and outward rooms of the palace. I knew, and could distinguish those two heroes, at first sight, not only from the crowd, but from each other. Homer was the taller and comelier person of the two, walked very erect for one of his age, and his eyes were the most quick and piercing I ever beheld. Aristotle stooped much, and made use of a staff. His visage was meagre, his hair lank and thin, and his voice hollow. I soon discovered that both of them were perfect strangers to the rest of the company, and had never seen or heard of them before; and I had a whisper from a ghost who shall be nameless, "that these commentators always kept in the most distant quarters from their principals, in the lower world, through a consciousness of shame and guilt, because they had so horribly misrepresented the meaning of those authors to posterity." I introduced Didymus and Eustathius to Homer, and prevailed on him to treat them better than perhaps they deserved, for he soon found they wanted a genius to enter into the spirit of a poet. But Aristotle was out of all patience with the account I gave him of Scotus and Ramus, as I presented them to him; and he asked them, "whether the rest of the tribe were as great dunces as themselves?" I then desired the governor to call up Descartes and Gassendi, with whom I prevailed to explain their systems to Aristotle. This great philosopher freely acknowledged his own mistakes in natural philosophy, because he proceeded in many things upon conjecture, as all men must do; and he found that Gassendi, who had made the doctrine of Epicurus as palatable as he could, and the vortices of Descartes, were equally to be exploded. He predicted the same fate to ATTRACTION, whereof the present learned are such zealous asserters. He said, "that new systems of nature were but new fashions, which would vary in every age; and even those, who pretend to demonstrate them from mathematical principles, would flourish but a short period of time, and be out of vogue when that was determined." I spent five days in conversing with many others of the ancient learned. I saw most of the first Roman emperors. I prevailed on the governor to call up Heliogabalus's cooks to dress us a dinner, but they could not show us much of their skill, for want of materials. A helot of Agesilaus made us a dish of Spartan broth, but I was not able to get down a second spoonful. The two gentlemen, who conducted me to the island, were pressed by their private affairs to return in three days, which I employed in seeing some of the modern dead, who had made the greatest figure, for two or three hundred years past, in our own and other countries of Europe; and having been always a great admirer of old illustrious families, I desired the governor would call up a dozen or two of kings, with their ancestors in order for eight or nine generations. But my disappointment was grievous and unexpected. For, instead of a long train with royal diadems, I saw in one family two fiddlers, three spruce courtiers, and an Italian prelate. In another, a barber, an abbot, and two cardinals. I have too great a veneration for crowned heads, to dwell any longer on so nice a subject. But as to counts, marquises, dukes, earls, and the like, I was not so scrupulous. And I confess, it was not without some pleasure, that I found myself able to trace the particular features, by which certain families are distinguished, up to their originals. I could plainly discover whence one family derives a long chin; why a second has abounded with knaves for two generations, and fools for two more; why a third happened to be crack-brained, and a fourth to be sharpers; whence it came, what Polydore Virgil says of a certain great house, NEC VIR FORTIS, NEC FOEMINA CASTA; how cruelty, falsehood, and cowardice, grew to be characteristics by which certain families are distinguished as much as by their coats of arms; who first brought the pox into a noble house, which has lineally descended scrofulous tumours to their posterity. Neither could I wonder at all this, when I saw such an interruption of lineages, by pages, lackeys, valets, coachmen, gamesters, fiddlers, players, captains, and pickpockets. I was chiefly disgusted with modern history. For having strictly examined all the persons of greatest name in the courts of princes, for a hundred years past, I found how the world had been misled by prostitute writers, to ascribe the greatest exploits in war, to cowards; the wisest counsel, to fools; sincerity, to flatterers; Roman virtue, to betrayers of their country; piety, to atheists; chastity, to sodomites; truth, to informers: how many innocent and excellent persons had been condemned to death or banishment by the practising of great ministers upon the corruption of judges, and the malice of factions: how many villains had been exalted to the highest places of trust, power, dignity, and profit: how great a share in the motions and events of courts, councils, and senates might be challenged by bawds, whores, pimps, parasites, and buffoons. How low an opinion I had of human wisdom and integrity, when I was truly informed of the springs and motives of great enterprises and revolutions in the world, and of the contemptible accidents to which they owed their success. Here I discovered the roguery and ignorance of those who pretend to write anecdotes, or secret history; who send so many kings to their graves with a cup of poison; will repeat the discourse between a prince and chief minister, where no witness was by; unlock the thoughts and cabinets of ambassadors and secretaries of state; and have the perpetual misfortune to be mistaken. Here I discovered the true causes of many great events that have surprised the world; how a whore can govern the back-stairs, the back-stairs a council, and the council a senate. A general confessed, in my presence, "that he got a victory purely by the force of cowardice and ill conduct;" and an admiral, "that, for want of proper intelligence, he beat the enemy, to whom he intended to betray the fleet." Three kings protested to me, "that in their whole reigns they never did once prefer any person of merit, unless by mistake, or treachery of some minister in whom they confided; neither would they do it if they were to live again:" and they showed, with great strength of reason, "that the royal throne could not be supported without corruption, because that positive, confident, restiff temper, which virtue infused into a man, was a perpetual clog to public business." I had the curiosity to inquire in a particular manner, by what methods great numbers had procured to themselves high titles of honour, and prodigious estates; and I confined my inquiry to a very modern period: however, without grating upon present times, because I would be sure to give no offence even to foreigners (for I hope the reader need not be told, that I do not in the least intend my own country, in what I say upon this occasion,) a great number of persons concerned were called up; and, upon a very slight examination, discovered such a scene of infamy, that I cannot reflect upon it without some seriousness. Perjury, oppression, subornation, fraud, pandarism, and the like infirmities, were among the most excusable arts they had to mention; and for these I gave, as it was reasonable, great allowance. But when some confessed they owed their greatness and wealth to sodomy, or incest; others, to the prostituting of their own wives and daughters; others, to the betraying of their country or their prince; some, to poisoning; more to the perverting of justice, in order to destroy the innocent, I hope I may be pardoned, if these discoveries inclined me a little to abate of that profound veneration, which I am naturally apt to pay to persons of high rank, who ought to be treated with the utmost respect due to their sublime dignity, by us their inferiors. I had often read of some great services done to princes and states, and desired to see the persons by whom those services were performed. Upon inquiry I was told, "that their names were to be found on no record, except a few of them, whom history has represented as the vilest of rogues and traitors." As to the rest, I had never once heard of them. They all appeared with dejected looks, and in the meanest habit; most of them telling me, "they died in poverty and disgrace, and the rest on a scaffold or a gibbet." Among others, there was one person, whose case appeared a little singular. He had a youth about eighteen years old standing by his side. He told me, "he had for many years been commander of a ship; and in the sea fight at Actium had the good fortune to break through the enemy's great line of battle, sink three of their capital ships, and take a fourth, which was the sole cause of Antony's flight, and of the victory that ensued; that the youth standing by him, his only son, was killed in the action." He added, "that upon the confidence of some merit, the war being at an end, he went to Rome, and solicited at the court of Augustus to be preferred to a greater ship, whose commander had been killed; but, without any regard to his pretensions, it was given to a boy who had never seen the sea, the son of Libertina, who waited on one of the emperor's mistresses. Returning back to his own vessel, he was charged with neglect of duty, and the ship given to a favourite page of Publicola, the vice-admiral; whereupon he retired to a poor farm at a great distance from Rome, and there ended his life." I was so curious to know the truth of this story, that I desired Agrippa might be called, who was admiral in that fight. He appeared, and confirmed the whole account: but with much more advantage to the captain, whose modesty had extenuated or concealed a great part of his merit. I was surprised to find corruption grown so high and so quick in that empire, by the force of luxury so lately introduced; which made me less wonder at many parallel cases in other countries, where vices of all kinds have reigned so much longer, and where the whole praise, as well as pillage, has been engrossed by the chief commander, who perhaps had the least title to either. As every person called up made exactly the same appearance he had done in the world, it gave me melancholy reflections to observe how much the race of human kind was degenerated among us within these hundred years past; how the pox, under all its consequences and denominations had altered every lineament of an English countenance; shortened the size of bodies, unbraced the nerves, relaxed the sinews and muscles, introduced a sallow complexion, and rendered the flesh loose and rancid. I descended so low, as to desire some English yeoman of the old stamp might be summoned to appear; once so famous for the simplicity of their manners, diet, and dress; for justice in their dealings; for their true spirit of liberty; for their valour, and love of their country. Neither could I be wholly unmoved, after comparing the living with the dead, when I considered how all these pure native virtues were prostituted for a piece of money by their grand-children; who, in selling their votes and managing at elections, have acquired every vice and corruption that can possibly be learned in a court.