#the picture u attached is so funny btw it’s me with u

[narugen]

Your honor, i love your works. The way u made these fictional characters evoke real emotions in me is pure wizardry. Whatever pairing you write I know you'll do our girl Mina proud and that's all I ever want from a fic. I hope people who lack taste get over themselves and quit harassing you. Here's a Pic of me reacting whenever you post ur writings.

UWAH!!!!!! doing mina proud 🥹🥹🥹🥹 these are such kind words thank you so much 🤍🤍🤍 i just want my girl to be loved appreciated and taken care of!!!!!!!! there’s so much depth to her character that i just HAD to explore and im glad i can do just that with my fics 🥲

and seeing people enjoy it as well truly makes me so happy!!!! i also saw your reply to my screenshot of the nrmn fic wip!!!!! it means a lot to hear someone’s looking forward to it 🫶

thank you again for this 🤍🤍 you’re the absolute best and here’s my reaction to ur lovely ask:

[enjoythesilentworld]

Simon's Month - (Cat)Fish

day 19!! @youngroyals-events

Simon tries to convince a man on a dating app that, yes, that is his actual face in those pictures.

read below or on ao3 (T, 500)

You got a match! 

Wille liked your photo!

Wille sent a message!

_____________________

Wille: If you’re gonna use fake pictures you might as well make them believable…

Simon: im sorry what?

W: I’m just saying, it’s pretty obvious you’re a catfish. Those pictures are not real.

S: um yes they are? that's literally my face

W: Nice try! No one actually looks like that. Way too perfect.

S: is this some kind of weird pickup line because im not sure you’re executing it properly

W: No? What do you mean? Clearly those are photoshopped or something. Who has skin that smooth looking? Or eyes that beautiful shade of brown?

S: literally i do

W: Seriously, where did you find these? Did you edit them yourself?

S: did you get dropped on your head as a child or something

W: … I mean, probably. But that doesn’t matter here. I know an edit when I see one.

S: clearly you dont because that is my face thank you for the compliment, i guess???

W: You’re welcome for complimenting your editing skills. But I still don’t believe you.

S: ok now im convinced this is some weird plot toget me to send like nudes or something

W: Oh my gosh, no! I’m not even on here for that! I’m too much of a romantic for hook-ups. We’d have to go on at least a few dates first.  And I would only ever ask if I knew you wanted to.  To send pictures.  Naked ones. And only you felt safe doing so. But I think in person is better anyway.

S: okay…

W: Sorry if that was weird. I keep staring at the pictures and they’re making it hard for my brain to work.

S: hard huh?

W: Ha. Ha.

S: i guess that’s kinda sweet i’m not much into hook-ups either

W: Oh. That's cool. But, seriously, where did you find these pictures?

S: i remind you. that is me im starting to question your sanity Wille

W: Sure, Simon. You just walk around like that all day and somehow you’re still single and on a dating app. Sure, very believable, *catfish*! 

S: omfg i do have pet fish but im not a catfish you're one to talk no ones hair is that color also there is no way u have a perfect little freckle on ur top lip or do you put that there with makeup

W: What?? Me?? No, it’s not makeup! I am just Swedish! I get freckles in the sun!

S: suuuure

W: Don’t turn this around on me, Simon.  Except, wait, do you really have pet fish?

S: yes, i do

W: Can I see them? 

S: [Image attached]

W: Beautiful!  What are their names? 

S: idk if i can trust you with their names you think i’m a liar

W: :( Simon

S: :( Wille

W:

You can trust me.  It’s justified, I think, that I don’t believe you.

S: [Image attached] literally me [Image attached] me with fish for proof i cant believe your awful rizz is working on me … Wille? here i’ll write out a little note for you so you know its actually me [Image attached]

W: ‘.,;-=p./ ?um I-m her e SOrry I was.. You are real? 

S: lol i am real

W: When are you free?

S: huh?

W: I would like to take you on a date, Simon To apologize for calling you a catfish But also because you are funny and pretty, and I need to see you in person just to be totally sure that you’re actually real. 

S: hm i guess i’d be okay with that i wanna know what that freckle on your lip tastes like

W: asdnasfwaogjfan

S: their names are oski, olle, and felle, btw are you free tonight?

[sungbeam]

xnonie present to wish YOU 🫵😳 a happy birthday! even tho it's only been a few days, i really enjoyed talking marvel with u 🫶🫶

THOSE ARE AWESOME POWERS! i almost completely forgot about pym tech (sad, i admit) but yeah the entire concept of it is so cool. i'm so in love with paul rudd & scott lang in general its not funny </3 I AM A WANDA DEFENDER UNTIL THE END!! so what if she was scary in multiverse?? she was pretty while doing it 😍 if they could just make her happy for once that would be nice 😭😭

RED DAGGER BEST MS. MARVEL LOVE INTEREST!!! yeah ur right the other guys can leave SLDHDJS kareem radiates so much love interest energy & the tension between him & kamala?? exquisite 💗💗💗 i also ended up finding fics for him on tumblr (there are a handful, btw)

I DID WATCH MOON KNIGHT!! oscar isaac was phenomenal for giving us steven grant, marc spector, AND jake lockley all in one mini series. IT NEEDS A S2. during the airing of the show, i may or may not have stumbled upon khonshu thirst edits on tiktok?? THAT WAS SOMETHING. IDK IF I WANNA RELIVE THAT. IT WAS FUNNY BUT ALSO... COME ON GUYS, ITS A BIRD SKELETON 😭😭

OMG BEAM. U GAVE ME THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL TIME ?!?!? IT SHOULD BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND, ESPECIALLY ON YOUR SPECIAL DAY ☹️ u shouldn't have!! i'm SO excited. DINO AS QUICKSILVER?!?! SIGN ME UP. I LOVE OUR TIGER KING HOSHI AS WOLVERINE IT FITS SM SHDKSJD (why can i imagine yelling "HORANGHAEEE" while pouncing on someone w/ his claws out? LMAO) and wow... HAO AS MAGIK?? AND GYU AS COLOSSUS?? idk if i can take it anymore 🙏

i made something for wol-ranghae when i saw that hoshi = wolverine but then realized that anon asks can't send pictures 😭😭 maybe when the fic is up, i'll reveal myself just to send u what i made 🫣

AHHH THANK U XNONIE !!! lmaoo why does that finger point emoji look so accusatory 😭😭😭 BUT YES ME TOO I'VE LOVED TALKING ALL THINGS MARVEL W YOU 🥺🥺

pym tech is so cool and so is paul rudd too TRUE (ﾉ´∀｀*) he's so underrated i just sighs,,, give him an oscar guys and call it a day ._. bUT YEAH SAME !! WANDA DEFENDER FOREVER like yeah u bring in an EXCELLENT POINT XNONIE !! just let the woman be happy?? Õ_Ó is that too much to ask ?? all she does is suffer.

BAHHAHAHA I can already imagine the amount of updated masterlists to mcu fanfic accts after the mcu Disney+ shows (ﾉ´∀｀*) that's so slay tbh like we got red dagger, moon knight, druig, and NOW DAREDEVIL !! okay he's deffo not NEW but the thirst has reawakened for most, but in my case, it has been discovered 😳😳 WAIT FR JAKE LOCKLEY EXCUSE ME BUT IF I DONT GET A SZN 2 I WILL RIOT !!!! WAIT THERE R W H A T EDITS ??!? y'all,,, khonshu huh 💀💀 i mean, i really am not allowed to judge, but ... okay. u do u ig :/ HE IS A BIRD SKELETON PLS YALL 😭😭😭

NAUUUR SEEING UR REACTION IS A GIFT ENOUGH FOR ME :(( U BEING EXCITED MAKES ME EXCITED BFF !!! YESSS OMG THATS KINDA WHY I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY HOW I PAIRED TJE MAKNAES BAHAHAH like i gave verkwan arguably some of the most powerful mutants in the verse, and now we can clown chan as a mutant as well (^_-)-☆ /j dkdndkjf im kidding lol i have a severe attachment to quicksilver, but chan just fits the mold whoops and TOO MANY PEOPLE SLEEP ON QUICKSILVER !!! YES OMG YELLING HORANGHAE IN ATTACK MODE HAHAHAH that's so hoshi plss 💀💀💀 i was like,,, who's the most furry-esque mutant? wolverine 😃😃 and i figured we could easily fit hosh w that since he too wishes to be a furry w claws called a tiger or something 🤡🤡 YEP HAO AS MAGIK AND MINGYU AS COLOSSUS!! i thought that fit pretty well :0 tbh one of the hardest people to pair was hao!! i knew i had to find someone who could be as slayfully cool as him

OMG U MADE SOMETHING FOR WOLRANGHAE AHAHAHAH I WISH I COULD SEE IT 👀👀👀 but yuhh when i finally get round to writing and posting this thing do send it in (^_-)-☆

[saintobio]

Well Saint you have broken my heart with that last chapter was amazing by the way, I really feel for out girl Y/n because she is right not matter what she does people always give her shit for it wither it be friends or family and that phone call from Momojo was really out of line I hope someone puts her in her place soon because she needs to she the light and I have a theory and sorry if this sounds all screwed up I am like half awake so for the first since you left it off with the letter about Sachi's custody I think that Y/n would win it because doesn't Ian and Gen still have evidence against him to what he did/treated Y/n in the beginning of there marriage in SN and that it self it going to be messy but honestly I just want Everyone x Therpay to endgame because some people need it, if you make Gojohime endgame I could see it but then I can't because if Gojo gets to move like that with no problems I don't think it's fare because Y/n will have to watch him move on with her former bestie like that shit is a tough pill to swallow and also the fact both Gojo and Utahime get to a actually fall in love is kinda heart breaking while Y/N just is in the background witching them I think she would still be supportive but still depressed I mean she had her son taken away( in this theory he won the custody case), watch her former ex husband and best friend live there happily ever after while just get... nothing I hope our girl Y/N can pull threw for the sake of Sachrio and to be honest I don't know who I want to be endgame but my heart tell me GojoYN for ever, so they can eat fried chicken with there little muchiikn and Saint if you want and you don't have to can you give us one picture like a hint to what is going to happen next chapter I hope work is going well for you and everything else to can't wait for the next chapter so that you can make me cry so more😭😢

aaaaaah the way you’re writing this ask makes me feel guilty for all the angst i’ll put u guys through 😭

Anonymous said

I just can't imagine how lonely yn must feel, with everyone being against or being disapproving with her. I understand Gojos anger, but ultimately I will always be on yns side. She tries so hard to make up for 1 mistake she made (some would say she was in the right) and still people antagonize her so much. None of this would have happened, if their marriage didn't got fucked over by everyone, including Gojo. I just want her and sachi to be happy😭💔. BTW funny how Sera was the catalyst AGAIN 💀

Anonymous said

I hate that the world rewards bad people and punishes good people like yn 😭😭😭that’s so fucked up pls i hope this has a cathartic ending esp with all the depression and heavy themes and angst in it. Idc if it’s a good or a bad ending, I just hope it’s cathartic. We all need it tbh 💀💔

Anonymous said

genuinely you’re the only fucking writer who makes me angry in the best way possible, like i have never felt so much fucking rage in my whole entire life except for when i read your work, AND NOT IN A BAD WAY, like a “i hate these bitches and how they treat yn” WAY, BECAUSE I SEE YN AS A DIFFERENT CHARACTER AND I GET SO EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED THAT WHEN SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS I GET SO MAD OR UPSET AND AHHHHHHHH IM SO ANGRY satoru literally remembers all the shit he put her through and still went “yeah fuck this bitch, she deserves to have her whole life destroyed because /I/ traumatised her and made her think that telling me our son was dead was her only way of escaping my abuse.”

i genuinely hope yn ends up with toji, or even just fixes her relationship with him and they just do that best friends who get married for stability thing, LIKE A PLATONIC MARRIAGE, this girls first marriage was so shit she needs a taste of a healthy loving marriage even if it’s platonically. also hope ian helps yn out with this legal business, fuck satoru fr i don’t give two shits about his ass. idc if he was depressed from potentially losing his child, he needs to realise these are the consequences of his own actions, no way in hell would yn ever have suggested faking an abortion if it wasn’t for his abuse AND his possession over her, genuinely sometimes it felt like he thought he owned her just cuz she had his last name and his child in her womb…

please let me know if anything i said was out of line, i got a little emotional and frustrated towards the end lmfaooo

YOU GUYS IM SORRYJF :(( all my yns really suffer…. this isn’t new. let’s just hope she’s gonna end up happy soon 😫

Anonymous said

saint this is u rn: "happy ending for my yns? what's that? here, take this cup full of pain and suffering instead, together with a side of tragic"

i hate how i started reading this series because i had hope that this was just a very angsty fic that's gonna have a happy ending but now... im on a high speed floorless rollercoaster ride with no way to get off 🙃 i can't believe i got myself into this mess, i don't read fics with heavy angst and unhappy endings because that's like a double blow to me but this series is so addictive i- 🥲

btw can i say that im very impressed with your vocabulary and way of writing :O how you managed to juggle your work and personal life as a fanfic writer with high quality works is beyond me. thank u for the recent chapter and i hope you are taking a break before writing for the next one!!

thank u!!!! it’s def a struggle, esp these days since my work has become twice more hectic than it was :’( but i hope you’ll continue to enjoy what i put out (and yes this one’s a rollercoaster 😛 my poor yn will be tested)

Anonymous said

omg saintttttt dgskekwlwk

first of all,,,, THE RECENT CHAPTERWW WAS VERY 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻😭😭 though i didn't cry, i felt like throwing up(literally pls i think i'm sick😷) pls momjo makes me so mad i wanna slap her til i break my hands😡 CAN U PLS RESURRECT YN'S MOM WITH UR AUTHOR POWERS PLESS I WILL PAY WITH MY SOUL😭😭😭😭

my cousin wrote a poem(it hurts ssjsk) and it made me think of if/when gjhm endgame and it ends in a wedding😭 pls the poem was soooooooo gooood like djslalhsk. she knows abt sn/sy btw but she hasn't been updated though. she was shooked when i told her that it reminds me of sy(you'll get it when u read the poem) jgahagah i wanna share the poem but its in tagalog though dhdksk and idk how to translate it properly plss😢 buut maybe i'll share it if i get her permission so yeahhhhh

crying and throwing up right with u, yn truly does need her mom atp 😭😭 and oooh a poem :’) i’d love to read that one day!!

Anonymous said

hi, saint! thank you for writing a good-to-cry fiction idk it feels really nostalgic to ready your fic after all of the businesses in my life, please keep writing you always doing great 💕 as someone who wanted gojoyn’s endgame the thing i have imagined before sincerely yours was written is finally happening 😭😭😭😭😭 i can’t hold myself to cry and if in the end they weren’t together i’ll admit it, it’s the best way for them to live. because twin-flames isn’t always meant to be together. i just hope they got a proper closure to end their story and learn from it. once again i thank you to make me feel things when i was confused about how i felt 😭😭😭😭💕💕💕💕

p.s. lmfao sera 🤭🤣

tbh i just run to sy whenever i’m feeling angsty with life bc i tend to dump all my emotions in this fic HSJDJD if it gets too emotional, that means i’m going through a rly tough period in my life :))

[fawnnbinary]

bdksldifjfj miles i am. i am having Feelings miles.

your blog is just???? such a Good space??? the Vibes here are fucking impeccable you’re goddamn killing it.

you’ve done such an amazing job making a space where anyone can join the conversation, as long as we like Art and Witchers and have decent vibes, which boy howdy i like all those things! and it’s got that semi-anonymous web 2.0 feel where we all have identifiable handles but no real names and everyone’s being nice to everyone (unless you get another weird unhinged anon in which case ur army of Anon Friends will surely come to ur aid) and it’s so nice!!! virga likes my energy! (omg hi btw) sf anon is absurdly attached to fanon eskel just like me! lovesick anon has badass relatable transition goals! everyone loves ur ocs bc they’re rad as hell even though we probably all found u through witcher art! i love everyone in this bar!!

obv we are almost certainly all here first and foremost for the art, bc you’re wonderfully talented and your work is delightful, but plenty of art blogs are just like. oh, nice picture! reblog. move on. the energy here is so excellent tho, sometimes i log in just to scroll your page specifically and then log back out. you are going to get such a good grade in Blog miles. you’re doing amazing, ty for ur service <3 eskel tits for all ✨💖✨

-eskel anon

not this ask making me think of my blog as a pseudo-forum,,, we are all loose internet buddies and we are talking together about our funny little guys from our shows/books/games and we are vibing and it makes me very happy that you guys like my blog and I am getting a good grade in blog and oughhhough

[tyonfs]

seriously fuck this app for not letting me reblog in peace 🤬 god knows how many times i tried i lost everything i typed 🧍anyways sending this here instead ^^

i may have alr forgotten a huge chunk of what i wanted to say but this i haven’t— i love loooove love their friend group so much. esp how loving and caring and protective renjun is over mc!! :( also, mc and jaemin’s dynamic? whew loved that sm. how they could just naturally transition to lovers (horny ones at that — but that’s more jaemin rlly that bastard) and their closeness as friends is still there yk what i mean ;-;; tho i found all the chaos so much fun hhhh. yeonjun just mentioning he’s interested in her but haven’t rlly acted much (or at all even lmao) on it since yet suddenly became the source of chaotic misunderstandings(?) NSHSHSHS

THE SEXY SCENES 🧍 despite how annoyingly horny jm can be love how he unknowingly(?) just put her needs first without expecting her to reciprocate it right away (hope i remembered this correctly i know he like,,, realized it a bit late after that, god i hate my mind) of course he cares about her more than he realized this idiot. there’s the awkwardness but damn oh damn the intimacy it’s all so fucking hot but u could feel there’s alr more to it than just lust :( love these stupid babies.

and oh my god when he was streaming!!!!! but the way i pictured it like the times he’s on their huya lives?? ykno when he just runs his mouth nonstop while playing GODDDDD very annoying yet endearing yes jaemin annoys me so much but i l word ok ok ok

they’re so stupid but understandable everyone is vvv likeable here btw :( will never stop thinking about how they just have such great chemistry. as much as yeonjun was slandered here haha let’s not forget how when it’s bad experiences it’s compared to hyucksNSHSHSHSHSHS i enjoyed reading this a lot it’s so much thank you :(( one of the great ways to start this year. (…..being whipped for njm ig)

love his character development here btw hands down. i cannot move on about his fucking twitch tshirt tho NDHDHDH m gonna throw that away myself if i could. ALSO oh my god i just remembered it’s so funny how someone always walked in on them HAHA the confession — as cringey and awkward(??) as it was, that’s just so them yk and to top it all off jaemin forgetting to end his stream 💀💀💀 ok again. this is so enjoyable to read thank you so much i hope you have a great day and a great year ahead u deserve the best ;;;;

tumblr’s bugs strike again 😞😞 i’m so sorry it crashed on your reblog love D; but ??? omg you rlly typed it out again for the ask THATS SO NICE OF YOU :(( and pls this is such a long ask i’m like sobbing over the fact that you took the time to write all of this and you have so many thoughts about my fic ☹️💗 i had to bring out my notes app to make sure i typed out everything i was feeling while referencing back to this ask !!!!! 😳 thank you sm for reading and sending this like !!! IM SO HAPPY 😭😭

i’m so glad you liked the friend group together !! i’ve always wanted to write a fic where the friend group was well fleshed out and had important roles (and this actually wasn’t the fic i was going to try it out on) but it served as a good stepping stone and your words make me feel more hyped to improve :’)) although they didn’t have many scenes together, i loved them too 🥰🥰 i get emotionally attached to my own characters sobsob and YES RENJUN !!!! he’s my ult too :’) actually i ult half of dream so i cant defend myself but !! he made their arrangement soooo romeo and juliet for a little 😭 and i love writing protective (but sorta chill??) best friends ♡ AAAA PLS IT WARMS MY HEART TO HEAR THAT YOU LIKED MC AND JAEMINS DYNAMIC that’s like everything for me 🤧💘 i rlly wanted to preserve their friendship even while they were treading the line between fwb to lovers, but there were those little moments like jaemin calling mc creepy for staring at him and mc telling him to shut up when he made a dirty joke :’))

HAHAHAH poor yeonjun 😭 the whole situation is a fictional representation of friends exaggerating a memory of a guy saying he’s interested in you, and then proceeding to hype it up without realizing they’ve looked to deeply into it 😵‍💫 but man yeonjun’s officially branded as The Infamous Litterer™️ in jaemin’s eyes

AHHH IM GLAD YOU LIKED THOSE MOMENTS :’)) <33 yesyesyes!! mc didn’t exactly realize she had feelings at first but i like to think ab it like “she fell first, he fell harder” bc jaemin completely lost his confidence when he realized he liked her a lot and didn’t want to push her too far. he didn’t go all the way with her bc he realized right before but yes he didn’t expect her to reciprocate what she wasn’t ready for :’) little did he know that mc is like the biggest virgin but extra horny 😭

PLEASE I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT UR TALKING ABOUT hes so cute when he games i’m sobbing but yes that mouth RUNS i lov when he talks fast HAHAH like in the mafia games he spits bars to his advantage to make everyone else give up trying to understand 😭😭 also i’m so glad you liked all the characters :’)) my goal was to make them all have their charms even with little screentime(??) LOLL and 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ hyuck having girl trouble And the awkward first-time story 😞 free him from the slander i bestowed upon him

GLAD I COULD START UR YEAR OFF WITH SELF INDULGENT NA JAEMIN CONTENT THO 😎😎 it’s what the nanadoongies deserve 🧘‍♀️ AND AHAHA YES they were always walked in 😭💔 first by renjun, then by jaemin’s twitch stream audience, and then by mark (but at least they were mostly safe for mc’s first-time !! until jeno walked in during the aftermath 💀)

but thank you sm for leaving me such a sweet and heartfelt message angel !! i’m so touched that you put in all this effort to type this out for me 😭😭💖 i hope you have a wonderful day/night and a great 2022 ahead !! ♡ sending my love and support your way :]

[just-like-playing-tag]

A totally self indulgent compilation of my favorite works on this blog of the year June 13, 2019 - June 13, 2020

I wanted to do this for the blog's first anniversary but then completely forgot about it lol.

The following lists are all in chronological order according to the date each post was first published.

Top 10 panel edits:

#1: Don and Gilda - Chapter 138: Demon serch (1)

Date: Jun 14th, 2019

Time: ~ 1:30 h

My very first redraw from my very first edit posted here, so it deserves an honorable mention. Back then I was young and inexperienced, I didn't even apply a gray filter (lmao I was so unskilled I even unintentionally scratched the picture, I hadn't realized until today). I'm actually very happy my first redraw was of Don, boy deserves all the love.

#2: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 28th, 2019

Time: ~ 1 h

Back then this looked like so much work to me!!! And to this day, I think it turned out pretty well. I'm particularly proud of how the bow turned out. This is one I was really proud of right after having finished it; it gave me the confidence to try redrawing bigger areas. Also, the edit were I first applied the opacity of layer / opacity of brush for the gray filter that would have stuck with me.

#3: Krone's birthday edit

Date: Jul 15th, 2019

Time: 15 mins

I don't know I just really like how Krone's hair vanish to a more sketch-like style here– and consequently, how I managed to replicate such effect. I think Krone's beautiful.

#4: Emma, Norman and Ray - Chapter 153: Coward

Date: Oct 4th, 2019

Time: 4:07 h (and 67 layers lmao)

Probably the single panel redraw I'm the most proud of. That Norman panel was beautiful and very poignant at the end of a chapter I adored, so I believe it deserved all the time I've spent working on it. It's far from being perfect - the back of his head is too plain, and the difference between my brushes and the original brushes is pretty visible - but I still like it very much and am extremely attached to it. The horn looks kinda big but I honestly believe it to be more of an issue with the original than with what I had redrawn lol. Funny enough, the whole picture didn't make it to the final edit and had to be trimmed.

#5: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 11th, 2019

Time: 29 mins

I don't have a particular reason for this I just think Emma's hair turned out amazing. It took just half an hour and I didn't even use references like. Wow. @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back

#6: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 17th, 2019

Time: 2:09 h

Sis I love this so freaking much. The shift from redrawing almost exclusively people and clothes to redrawing this mess was so fun and refreshing. Even though it's a mess I think it turned out very clean and overall it looks beautiful? I remember after finishing this I felt so powerful, like now that I had redrawn this thing I would have been able to redraw anything I set my mind on lol.

#7: Emma - Chapter 161: Never Be Alone

Date: Dec 13th, 2019

Time: 57 mins

Again no particular reason except this is a very cute Emma and I think the redraw turned out pretty well. There's this big lock on the left that doesn't make a lot of sense but overall I really like it. Cute Emma is cute, and I love her determination.

#8: Emma - Chapter 166: Going Back Home

Date: Mar 9th, 2020

Time: 3:45 h

I'M SO FREAKING PROUD OF THAT RIFFLE I have not the slightlest idea why this took so damn long BUT I'M SO PROUD OF IT

#9: Norman's birthday edit

Date: Mar 21st, 2020

Time: 1:04 h

This is cool! I didn't know I could manage to draw this, but I did it! The feathers were particularly hard to clean but I think they turned out fine.

#10: Full Score Trio - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 6th, 2020

Time: 2:11 h

I just think they're very pretty? I can't understand if I like Ray's face a lot, or not at all, but I think overall there was a lot to redraw and it turned out pretty cute! Sorry Gillian.

(Also insert pretty much every panel from the chapter 177 Isabella edit– I've spent so many hours on basically every panel there's no way I could choose only one).

Top 5 edits as whole:

#1: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 29th, 2019

Complessive time: 2:57+ h

The very first edit I'm actually proud of; I'm really attached to it. It's the first edit I had put all of my effort into, and I remember feeling anxious people would have left it without notes. It kinda feels weird to think about it now, because I really don't care about notes anymore; yet, it somehow makes me happy to think that past-me wasn't let down. Thank you @neverlandstrio for your support, you may not remember but it really meant a lot to me back then! And it still makes me smile. You're the best!!!!!!

#2: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 20th, 2019

Complessive time: 7:12+ hours

This whole edit was an hella wild ride. It's midnight before a school day, when I think: "Mh, it's been a while since I last made an edit, why not make one about Musica and the queen from the last chapter?" And seven hours after this was born. I'm particularly proud of the queen's redraws on the 3rd, 7th and 9th picture (ofc), the areas which have been redrawn are pretty huge yet I think the difference with the original is almost impossible to notice?? @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back (part 2)

#3: Emma - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 12th, 2020

Complessive time: 6:53+ h

I think the panels that were selected work very well together, especially considering the close-up / full body alternation. I love Emma, and I've always been kinda sad noticing that edits that focus one her take the less notes... She deserves all the love. Also, fun fact: for the last but one panel, I had redrawn Emma's whole left ear before remembering she doesn't have one, so I had to redraw the panel from the start. Besides from the error with the ear, the reason why this (and all the others after) took so long is because official panel take way longer to clean.

#4: Isabella and her children - Chapter 177: Mother

Date: May 22nd, 2020

Complessive time: 13:41+ h (ahah.)

Lmao tbh I can't understand how this has so few notes it's like. Technically speaking, probably the best edit I've ever done. I don't even like Isabella that much, I haven't got the slightlest idea why I decided to spend so many hours on this. Anyway, I find the composition (full body on the left / headshots on the right) really good looking in this as well! And I think the redraws turned out fine, especially Isabella's.

#5: The Promised Neverland manga ending countdown→ 1/7 chapters: chapter 1 - Grace Field House

Date: Jun 9th, 2020

Complessive time: 1:59+ h

I don't know how I came up with that idea for the composition but I find it really beautiful??? I think it does a pretty good job conveying the sudden, terrific shift of atmosphere from the first chapter, and I think that sharp bridge is very nice. I'm very, very proud of this.

Honorable mention #1: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 13th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:44+ h (+ 1:13 h of working on a panel that ultimately didn't make it to the final edit)

A very good chapter, and the edit turned out surprisingly amazing??? All the redraws look great and make it almost impossible to distinguish them from the original; honestly I feel like I'll never be able to redraw so neatly again lol.

Honorable mention #2: Don and Gilda (+ Norman) - Chapter 160: Shackles

Date: Dec 11th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:14+ h

That one is really one of my favorite scenes; I'm telling you peoples, Gilda and Don are a blessing to the earth. I think I've never mentioned it, but Gilda's hair is a nightmare to redraw??? More specifically, it takes me h o u r s to fill the texture without making it look too weird, it's the worst.

Honorable mention #3: Norman and Ray - Chapter 179: Compensation

Date: Jun 6th, 2020

Complessive time: 4:16+ h

I was so glad to finally be able to make a Norman / Ray edit, and it turned out it was just in time before the series' finale. I like how it turned out and I'm pretty satisfied with the redraws (even though my sister helped me with the lineart of some panels - it was exams time and I really couldn't afford to spend more time on it), too bad we didn't have more chapters that focused on the boys. Ray sweetie one day I'll fix your ear it's just today's not that day.

Btw, I justed realized I have never done an Emma / Norman centered edit? I'll have to make one eventually. I remember considering focusing on them alone for the chapter 154 one, but then I thought "even if the manga is gonna ignore Ray, I will chose to do not" lol.

Top 5 long posts:

#1: Reconstruction of how the Grace Field children were settled in the three bedrooms

Date: Aug 28th, 2019

I just had really a lot of fun doing it. I love putting all the little things to their own place, it's so calming to do and that's why I love making this kind of things. Also, loved how @temporoom contributed to the post! It was so nice of them to add what they had noticed to come up with more exact conclusions, that's one of the things I love the most about the internet.

#2: A study of how many times the characters of The Promised Neverland call each other through the first season of the anime

Date: Sep 10th, 2019

I REALLY LOVE IT! I mean it *was* kinda stressing to note everything, but it was very also very satisfying to see everything methodically divided and organized! And it's not just that– it's also the fact that it looks good. That's one post I have fun rereading because it's actually pretty! Also, even though it can be very stressing to learn to use new programs and sites, it's always very satisfying to look at the final result. Again, I really adore compiling these tiny little details! I would love to make more posts of that kind if i had the time.

#3: The Promised Neverland musicals headcanons

Date: Oct 27th, 2019

I mean it's literally. Putting my two favorite fandoms together how could I not love it. This is another one I really enjoy rereading, I find all the musical / character associations so fitting! I really want to make a second part, I hope to find some time to do it.

#4: Considerations on the reward / eventual series' finales (and Emma's sacrifice)

Date: May 7th, 2020

It's always nice to put down all your thoughts regarding a particular matter. It can take a lot of time (at least for me it does because... I need time to think about things), but it's so satisfying to see all of them there once you're done. Bonus points when, like in this case, it was something asked by someone else because “Wow! Somebody wants to hear my opinion on this subject! I'm flattered (◍•ᴗ•◍)”

#5: Some other considerations on the series' finale and Emma sacrificing herself

Date: Jun 13th, 2020

Pretty much the same as above. It's like some kind of clarity when the post is done and signed. Another fun fact, I had to censore the post a lot; the first version was extremely sharp and harsh, but I believe it's right to express your opinions calmly and politely.

Bonus: A thread of what the tpn characters would wear at the Oscars

Date: Feb 9th, 2020

Imagining all the children in those pretty dresses makes me so incredibly happy (╥﹏╥) I go back to look at that post a lot. I really love red carpets, I love looking at pretty dresses!!!!!

Lmao it's so funny how the post of mine I like the most are also the ones with the less notes

Anyway this was just a personal report! You don't have to read it all (or any of it actually). But it was indeed fun making it! Here's to many more months in the fandom!!!

[judehayward]

lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: ju-Das juda-ah-ah… this depressed goblin bastard is honestly my fav male muse like i dnt typically stick w male muses tht long i struggle bt................. i’ve played him the longest of them all n always seem to return to him. jst cnt stay away. way 2 attached to this absurd little man. it’s nai btw!!!! (josefine on the main). launches right in to jude’s intro without further adieu..... (u can also find his playlist here) 🧙‍🎨

「douglas booth & cis-male」⇾ hayward , jude, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he is a pisces and 23 years old. he is studying ART, living in moris and can be protective, laidback, nonsensical & apathetic. when i see him i am reminded of wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects, lead marbles instead of eyes. ⇽「nai & 23 & gmt & she/her.」

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger’s rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot

jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was born

they just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work out

they were ok to him like they weren’t fully Bad bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plans. pretty absent n irresponsible. they literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they properly knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care the way parents shd. they lost his birth certificate n dnt remember what they put as his middle name so he’s jst kind of like hmmmm............. n gives himself a diff one every time ppl ask. past variations hv included: jude pauly hayward, jude maureen hayward, jude van winkle hayward. says all of these w a very straight face

despite this he does hv some nice memories w them. usually he definitely sees them fr holidays. frm being rly young their christmas tradition hs been to get a bunch of chinese food like a Banquet Feast n spend all day smoking n drinking into the early hours. perhaps not the healthiest or most responsible bt 😔 jude rly likes it it’s kind of the one time of yr he feels he has a proper family

they r both suuuuper into the arts. rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a successful gallery in sheffield n san fran

(trauma tw) as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws being responsible n looking after someone. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed bt he also??? has some gd ones..... it was a strange environment bt he’s a survivor

(death n grief tw) he hd to do community service bc he kind of… hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he… stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like… drivin around the place sort of… tryin nt to cry…..KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw… broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room……. this ws like 4 months ago nw............ just some fun lore fr u all

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing he’s jst going fking wild on the keys in a trance...... i mean he’s gd bt… chill

he’s rly sarcastic n so deadpan like he’ll say smthn completely ridiculous bt he’ll say it w his whole chest so sincere.... it’s rly hard to tell when he’s joking or serious honestly. has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably secretly draw them. does NOT share these drawings w the person he hates being openly sentimental. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women like tht energy...........

he has rly bad insomnia so he like never sleeps idk how he’s Alive straight up. please go to bed sir............. he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at radcliffe doing art, focusing on fine art like painting is............... the thing he luvs most...... his style is kind of.......... taking normal things n painting w surreal colours.... he likes A LOT of colour in his paintings which is kind of a stark contrast to his personality bc his world’s so.... washed out n grey............ lovs art n philosophy n literature n photography n music.... 

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges on all his clothes. wandering the streets in plaid pj bottoms n dr martens eating frm a cereal box without care in the world. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a laidback time....... doesn’t rly like when ppl take themselves too seriously........ likes strange ppl thinks the world is mde richer by them n likes when ppl can jst bounce back jokes at him without being like erm. u dont make sense mate. bc frankly he can come up w some strange stuff sometimes.............. talking to him cn b like navigating a dark n bendy road without a flashlight....... 

(drugs tw) once did shrooms n woke up naked in the woods curled up in a pile of leaves. to this day he recounts this as his werewolf transformation. hs no idea hw he ended up there n when ppl r like are u not. concerned jude. tht is so strange? he jst shrugs like.............. dunno....................... suppose i’m jst a werewolf upon occasion. so casual abt it. jst truly does Not care abt most things at all..... almost to the point tht it’s concerning (sometimes way past the point tht it’s concerning too :/)

this is the desc on an aesthetic i mde of his style once n sums it up well!! ‘additionally: too many pairs of trousers, a hideous amount of white t-shirts all somewhat stained with charcoal, a jumper so thinly knit it almost looks sheer, chipped teale nail varnish, a cream corduroy jacket with a cigarette hole singed onto the cuff, vintage wiry reading glasses he almost never wears, a freshly rolled cigarette behind his ear, a thrifted t-shirt with a warped bart simpson wearing a stethoscope with the caption ‘bard knwos cardiology’ and two crops hacked that way with kitchen scissors that he sometimes wears to paint.‘

EXPERT at rolling spliffs like jst. mkes them so precise n neat....... it’s his super power. his fav thing to smoke frm is banana flavour papers.................... linking 2 this he’s like. bad w emotions bt he does try..... once his friend (maggie) ws sad so he brought her a spliff wrapped in grape flavoured paper bc it’s her fav fruit n jst like. wordlessly gave it to her. it’s the thought tht counts.....

PLOTS!!!!!

plays bass in a band which cld b a fun connection to get together??? i picture the music being like surf rock type like........... mac demarco...... bt he also luvs elliott smith n glass animals n the cure n metronomy n neutral milk hotel n talking heads n radiohead n mazzy star n wolf alice...................... idk jst like.... within tht ballpark i suppose i imagine it being................

mayb ppl he shares classes w?????? i’d like someone tht does a similar course n they hang out tgether when it comes to trips fr the module to museums or exhibits or wtever................ they both stand in front of paintings analysing it rly wrong n saying stuff like hmmmmmmmmm....... i do declare i see a, uh..... large phallus protruding from the centre of this image...... moves something in me.......... n some elderly person looking at it besides them is like Ergh. sickened n disgraced. leaves w a brow severely furrowed

someone he smokes w on the moris rooftop late at night when he cnt sleep??? mayb they’re up n cnt sleep either fr whtever reason n it’s become an unspoken kind of ritual where they always clamber out n find each other there n jst wordlessly keep them company

jude is kind of like. protective almost to a fault sometimes........... mayb some guy he’s punched......................... if they hurt someone he cares abt........... typically it wld hv been a girl he ws kind of like. affected by his first relationship bc she had a bad home situation n ever since jst wnts..... to Protect it’s kind of like an automatic instinct ingrained in him nw 😔 all sounds very noble n well bt sometimes it cn b a bit of an escalation i wnt lie

perhaps a few hook-ups??? jude doesn’t tend to sleep w ppl he rly knows bc he just..... likes it to b an impersonal thing doesn’t like getting attached fr various reasons so mayb they only kno each other via this OR mayb he bent his rules a bit..... cld either work seamlessly or hv added drama if one side hs mre feelings or whtever

currently living in moris w 2 roommates bt i’d love some neighbours perhaps..... mayb someone tht lives directly nxt door to his room n is like ://// bc he plays music loud n weeds always drifting frm his window n mking their room smell if theirs is open too................. or mayb they get on..... mayb there’s a rly mean seagull tht lands on a branch n poos on pedestrians n they both commentate on it frm their windows like david attenborough...... they’re like he’s at it again. they’ve named him n everything

HONESTLY anything if u have an idea hmu i’d love 2 hear it.......... rubs my hands tgether in excitement to plot up a storm w u all

[raazberry]

lemnis really went after he got attached to the original individuals and sought to set things right skjfcndskj

but yeah, it's pretty eerie when you think about it because he just plopped into [godtongue]'s universe and stayed there for who knows how long, definitely witnessed the celestial war from down below, and then suddenly everything goes quiet. there's no communication, there's no check-ins, it's just him. he may as well assume all of the other archons & denizens abandoned him 💔 (or dead but yk)

and he was seeking them out! i didn't include this bit, but the second he felt that they were (about to be) born, he'd go and visit them. a lot of the times, he'd visit as they were growing up until they couldn't stay in their respective homes any longer, taking them in with him to keep them safe & "hidden". in [godtongue]'s case, he knew both of her parents beforehand, particularly her mother. after she took her leap of faith, he made sure to notify her father when he could!

"yo i saved ur daughter ur freaking welcommee 🙄🙄" and then her dad went "pls. pls just keep her safe" "thats the plan son" /j

and like. you'd imagine that [godtongue] would be traumatized after losing so much.. and she was! her teenage years consisted of her learning patience & how to forgive herself. before, she would impulsively confront 'in the name of justice', but she hadn't stopped before to think what that was. she didn't realize it, but she'd grown snarky & bitter in the face of everyone who was against her family.

tbh she was pretty much a well-meaning shithead during those next couple of years (mostly towards lemnis) lmao, all the while she grew into a very admirable and compassionate person, and especially a warm-hearted older sister you could depend on. she'd sneak into lemnis' secret studies and work twice as hard just to be able to read through his archives & books and once her younger siblings came more into the picture, she'd often aid them in their own interests & inspire them (both in a bad and good way) <3

as an adult she's respectful & fairly curious, going as far as managing to eavesdrop on RAD's student council in season 1 only to quickly be caught by barbatos, who would invite her to tea during every meeting to keep her occupied. unfortunately (or fortunately? hue hue) for barbatos, she'd ask questions that were both clever & thoughtful in nature--she isn't so easily quieted down lolol, but barbatos is probably the ONLY demon thar rivals her wit in his manner, and in a teasing sort of way, too. no matter! because she also successfully teases him back (•́⌄•́๑)૭✧ they are good friends, your honor

..save for the times she'd always look a little too deep into his eyes thanks to her curiosity, which would always be responded with “you see too much, my friend.” ..which has proven to be true all her life tbh so it's a haunting line for her

ANYWAYS THANK YOU FOR THINKING THIS IS INTERESTING!! yes casteus was the chosen descendant for the great old god, tian! and nazeli falling to her death was meant to parallel aurelia (hehe) leaping off the cliff. in a way, the fact that the original godtongue chose her makes you wonder if she was meant to live out the life she would've wanted for nazeli. she outlived her daughter, and now the new godtongue would outlive her own mother.

i definitely have more info on her siblings but i'll leave it at that for now 👌👌 honestly it's so funny when i talk about [godtongue]'s lore to friends because when i mention any of the obm cast they're like "i forgot this is your mc's backstory" and honestly love myself for that jdnfvks i really love writing it out, too!! i hope you're feeling okay btw <3

in all honesty i keep forgetting that this is your MC's lore as well because in my head i'm just like. this is a whole other world!!! which is technically true, but y'know

lemnis is just like me fr & im saying this for the tenth time atp but he is the belovedest ever i love him so much!!!!!!!!!!!! and the pics u linked about lia's dad :( i wish they could've all lived and been happy together somehow in another life

ALSO HELP TEENAGE GODTONGUE AS ANYA i haven't watched anastasia but you've definitely convinced me to now

also im just imagining barbatos and godtongue having tiny tea parties :DDDD they're besties (real) who else does she get along with in the obm cast?

i love, love, love how curious she is because it just makes for so much hilarity and learning also the ehe te nandayo bit made me cry with laughter bc i can Hear it

also im curious - do you usually write about her in like a Book Format (like. the previous ask abt this) or is it just a bunch of drabbles you kinda ended up stitching together? bc it's really cool to me how much depth there is to her and the people who have affected her life :0

[florenceisnottrash]

10 reasons to stan The Rose

 I can’t be the only one that’s been completely obsessed and mesmerized by The Rose since the day they debuted with “Sorry”. Such a strong debut! Since then, I can’t get enough of them and decided to be the one to make content about them since there isn’t much at the moment considering they’ve only debuted in august of this year.

Be prepared to fall in love with those 4 dorks and lovely band, enjoy!

A/N: expect a lot of woosung cause goddamn he keeps posting stories on instagram where he kisses plushies and I die a bit more inside everytime. why u do dis to mi woosung?

Let’s start with some basic info about the band! They’ve debuted on august 3rd under J&Star entertainment as a rock band consisting of 4 members : Woosung, Dojoon, Hajoon and Jaehyeong. Woosung once said that their group name “The Rose” is named this way “to show that there’s music that coexist between the flower and the sharpness of the torns” (How poetic is that, 11/10 would already stan at this point). If you are like me, which is a complet trash about The Rose, well well wel,l you can call yourself Black Rose as it stands for the fandom name!

The Rose Official Accounts : Fan Cafe: TheRose_JNSTAR Twitter: @TheRose_JNSTAR Instagram: therose_jnstar Facebook: @bandtherose YouTube: theroseofficial (Woosung’s personal account is iwoosung where he covers songs)

1- Woosung’s aethetic on instagram

Woosung once said that if his career as a singer had not worked out, he would’ve become a interior designer (Coco’s vlog). And oh god would I let him decorate my house because he is SO TALENTED, he posted some picture of his room on his ig and it’s absolutely gorgeous! While you are going through his instagram wondering how can someone with such a great smile exists on the same planet as you, follow him and show a lot of love! (I’ll take more in depth about instagram on the last reason)

a gif of Woosung’s smile would certainly not hurt anyone right ;)

2- Hajoon’s cute laugh asdfghjkl

I’m a hugeeee sucker for cute laugh because…. Who doesn’t love seeing their faves being all happy and giggly??? 

He has the kind of laugh that makes you laugh as well, like it’s so contagious i’m extremely soft even while thinking about it. I don’t have a video to prove my point but in every vlive you’ll find him laugh for sure with his chubby cheeks i really can’t he’s too cute bye.

cute Hajoon at your service. Be delighted.

3- The habitual roses they bring on every stage

Ok.

OK.

I’ve never seen anything like that and I find it so clever and original! On their wrists or on their mic, they never forget to attach a rose to show their love and respect for their fandom during performences. It’s not much, but this simple and sweet habit can genuinely make a fandom proud and loved. My lovely The Rose, We don’t deserve your love.

They even have their own “colors of roses” for each members. Wousung is a white rose, which signifies purety (I’m sorry I have so much unpure thought about him while he claims to be pure I don’t deserve to stan). Dojoon is red for passion. Hajoon is blue to express miracle and Jaehyeong is pink for romance ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) hehehehe yes dear.

We can see the roses I was talking about here!

I CANT CONTAIN MY ATTRACTION TO JAEHYEONG SOMEONE COME COLLECT ME 

4- They can speak english

International fans! You can stan them without hesitating! They talk in english a whole lot on their vlive and such, you won’t miss out on any inside jokes, cute comments or info! How cool is that?! Woosug used to live in the US and Dojoon lived in New-Zealand for 5 years! Jaehyeong is also making a lot of effort by talking in his cute engrish and Hajoon is as well. They even have english name: Woosung is Sammy, Dojoon is Leo, Hajoon is Dylan and Jaehyeong is Jeff.

5- Their friendship with other idols

I was so surprised when I watched a vlive of The Rose and Woosung got a call from Jae of Day6 to ask them to sing their fav Day6 song, but I should’ve known since a lot of idols that lived in the US became friends in Korea. They are close to Day6, KARD and Hajoon is friend with Chahun and Jaehyun from N.Flying (Expect a post about them soon btw). Woosung is also close with Coco from CocoSri, we can often see them together in her vlogs on her YouTube chanel and I low-key ship them hard lol.

Me: *types furiously on keyboard “How to become a dog”*

Coco is extremely pretty I ship a king and a queen

6- Jaehyeong is so fkg beautiful how is it even possible? Scientist can’t tell

Is there a need to add anything more?? I don’t think so

stob it please

bye i died.

7- Jaehyeong ideal type is realistic

I’m kind of fed up with idols always describing their ideal type as a cute and skinny girl with big round eyes and a sweet and calm personality. I know it’s cultural and I shouldn’t judge, I know. But when idols differ from the usual ideal type, it makes me really happy as a women. 

Jae describes his ideal type as someone who stares a lot at him (lol hi) from afar and with a lot of cheek fat! He also wants someone that he can talk freely to about anything and understanding. How chill! I stan and ult the right men. 

Who fits in his ideal type???

8- Dojoon voice in “like we used to”

I get goosepumps EVERY FKG TIME. It’s just… so… wow? I don’t now what to say more? I’m sure people who listened to it can understand. It’s like magic mixed with more magic and really can’t describe it. Make sure to watch the MV and cry like I did.

And he’s cute

Like we used to M/V - The Rose

CUTE

HANDSOME

9- Incredible acting skills lol

I legit broke down crying and my lungs were rolling on the floor when Jaehyeong told us about what happen in an enterview with pops in seoul. Hajoon, Dojoon and Jaehyeong all appeared in a drama called “entertainer”, it was bigs roles, but still it could at least give them some screen time and exposure. WHAT IS FUNNY is that the one and only line of Jae was cut out of the drama and he’s still self-conscious about it. Like in the enterview, the guys made him say his line THAT WAS LIKE 3 WORDS LONG and after he said it, all members were poker faced and Jae said: “Thats why it was cut out lol”.

Go watch the enterview I was rolling on the floor.

The enterview is here.

10- THEY ALL HAVE INSTAGRAM YESSSSS

For your daily dose of cuteness, talent and beauty, go follow them on instagram! 

Woosung: @ iwoosung

Dojoon: @ Parclassic

Hajoon: @ l_hajoon

Jaehyeong: @ qud0011

BONUS - THEY. ARE. ALWAYS. EXPOSING. THEIR. CHEST.

At this rate, their fans will all be DEAD so they better keep their chest covered because my nose is bleeding and I can’t continue like that fuck.

RUDE

RUDE AF

ROOOOOOOOOOOD my chubby boy

BONUS 2 - THIS FUCKING LOOK # Snacks

(You thought it was over right? hell no I have more love to share)

THIS V NECK WITH HIS BLACK HAIR STYLED BACK

CAN YOU SEE WOOSUNG IN THE BACK?? THIS HAIR OH GOD DELIVER ONTO ME THE SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH I CRAVE. AND THIS LEATHER JACKET?????!!!! STOP

This is before… and now the after…

BYE.

[heyhihelloidontusethisanymo-blog]

deh pets headcanon

ok so i made another headcanon before about phones and things they would all have and mentioned that evan would probably have a dog. so then naturally i just started thinking about all of them which resulted in this. another warning that it’s midnight and im half dead soooo yeah enjoy??? 

jared:

he would be the kid that BEGGED until his parents got him whatever animal he wanted

like he has a lot of pets idk

the first thing that comes to my mind is a bird

and i’m not talking like a cute little parakeet

im talking like an annoying ass huge bird

like they used to keep it in the house but it was just,,,, , so loud

so now they keep it in the shed

(don’t worry he takes great care of the bird even tho it’s in the shed)

i keep picturing a parrot

is that even llegal? idk 

don’t ask me

the bird’s  name would either be like something he named when he was little like “rainbow”

or it would be literally just meme

like

the bird’s name would be meme

there is no in between don’t fight me on this

he would also have a guniea pig named something really stupid too

idk what it would be probably dat boi or another old meme 

but he would love that freaking thing

he would like constantly hold it or like carry it around his house

or he would show up at evan’s house holding it and evan would be like “what why”

and he would be like “oh yeah. this is dat boi and he’s coming inside with me”

he wouldn’t have a dog tho

they probably had one when he was little but it passed away and they didn’t think anything could be better than that dog

aw now i’m sad

maybe he would have a hamster at one point too but it would like probably get annoying and he would give it to connor

oh thats another thing for later

long story short jared loves animals

connor:

connor would probably be like “i hate all animals. i hate everything. angst blah blah blah

but jared one day just showed up with a hamster like “just tAKE IT”

and then left

so he was like uhh okay

and he ended up becoming secretley obsessed with this hamster

like when he was feeling really angry and about to freak out he would just watch it run on it’s little wheel and it would calm him down

he wouldn’t name it because “he didn’t want to get too attached” 

(he was so attached. he loved it.)

he would buy so much stuff for it

like he would come home with bags and bags of little tubes for it to run in or a bunch of different wheels to try out 

his mom would be like “connor what is that” and he’d be like “nOTHING”

it would be a hamster mansion

p.s. zoe wouldn’t know about the hamster

she would be completley oblivious somehow

his parents did tho and didn’t really care

evan was the only person that knew about the hamster other than that

and he loved that thing so much

like whenever him and connor would hang out he would just be constantly holding it

evan probably named it in his head but never really says it out loud 

and one day he lets it slip

like

“aw can we take out hammy?”

and connor’s like “whatthefuck”

and evan gets all nervous and stuttering 

but they eventually just start calling it hammy

it would be a really tan almost orange looking hamster btw

and it’d probably be really fat because evan likes to give him treats

side note: the only other animal connor would like is evan’s dog which i will talk about later

alana:

alana would always love animals but she never really acted on it much

like she would know anything and everything about animals but would never really vocalize it 

until one day zoe starts talking about how she likes animals

then she just goes crazy

like she’s a Certifed Animal Lover™

but anyway

I feel like she would have a little dog

like not a chuiwawwawawaw i gave up on spelling that rip

but like a little rescue dog

it would probably look like a puggle 

and while she’s doing homework the dog would just like sit in her lap

(if u haven’t already noticed this is heavily based on how kristolyn lloyd mentioned alana having a dog or something with her on stage and tbh i agreed hard core)

this dog would be so freaking spoiled

like im talking huge beds made for golden retrievers 

purple sparkly collars and harnesses and clothes (the dog’s color would be purple. dont fight me on this) (wow i can’t believe i just gave a dog a favorite color rip)

she would make it wear shoes sometimes and take funny videos to post on her instagram

this dog would have the most extra name of all time

like Persephone or athena or some goddess name 

i didn’t include this in the other hc but she would DEF have a vlog channel

and she would be like “hey guys! this is alana and dionysus (yes i just googled that im sorry) and welcome to todays video!”

either that or she would have a guinea pig

but i more see her with a dog

she would love that dog so much

zoe:

golden retriever. for sure.

she would be the kid who BEGGED their parents for a dog for years and years

like every school essay would be about why she should get a dog

and she would like tape dog pictures to the fridge and on her notebooks at school

she would be s’cute

but when she got into high school her parents expected it to kind of drop off

but no

not at all

she only wrote more essays about why she should get this dog

and they were still like “mehhh no”

(actually cynthia would be fine with it but larry would be like hell no hell no hell no)

so the day she turned eighteen she was like “screw this im an Adult™ now”

and just went out and got a dog

and when she came back home with it everyone was like “what have you done”

and she just shrugs and is like “i’m an adult now i get to do what i want”

and nobody really says anything after that

she loves that dog so much

it would be a girl named kiwi

or something weird but adorable like that

and she would sneak it into school sometimes 

she would totally get caught but it would be worth it to her

she only did that when the dog was a puppy tho

when kiwi got big she loved her even more

omg this dog would know so many tricks

like im not talking “sit” and “roll over”

(but obvi she would know those)

im talking like dance and jump and speak and play dead

that dog would be so smart

zoe would work really hard to train her tho

she would try to bring her everywhere

like when all of them would hang out she would make the plans around wherever place was dog friendly ya know

her parents would be like “no dog on the bed!1!1!”

but no

i mean the dog would obviously have a dog bed 

(and it would be damn comfy tbh)

 but she would always sleep in zoe’s bed

not at her feet but like right up on top of the pillow like she’s a human

ok I’ve gotta stop now time for evan handsoap

evan:

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: i love evan so much okay

just a reminder

anywho

evan would never really be the type to beg for a dog

but heidi got one for him at the beginning of senior year just bc she thought it would be good for him

(she tries so hard i love her too)

and at first he was like “oh ok hi dog”

but then he’s like “ohmygod i love u”

it’s def a dachshund/wiener dog don’t fight me on this i know it’s a thing

he would name it bonsai 

i know he would

my hear is melting just thinking about this s end he lp

but he would love that thing so much

he would love taking hikes or little nature walks with her

(the dog would be a girl btw idk how i know this i just do)

and the dog would be very fit

like she would never be fat

she wouldn’t know very many tricks

like  only sit and high five

but it’s ok she’s an angel

she’s probably  like very light tan almost blonde (if u google a pic of a light tan weiner dog you’ll see what I mean they’re so cute I cant)

and when he’s anxious she can always tell

so she goes up to him and just like sits next to him and kinda whines bc she’s worried?? idk you know what i mean

but at night she sleeps curled up into evan’s side

like wiener dogs when they sleep literally curl into a little burrito 

she does that

it’s so cute

when connor stays over the dog sleeps between them

oh yeah

that’s the only dog connor likes

like he hard core loves that dog

when he sees her he uses this high pitched baby voice

you know the one im talking about

it’s adorable

evan thinks it’s the best thing he’s ever heard actually

he loves that connor loves his dog

i just thought of this but what if it was a therapy dog

like he could bring it to school when he had really bad days

and she would be v friendly and love people

and in class when he got anxious he would just stick his hand down and pet his dog

(if u can’t already tell idk how service/therapy dogs work someone educate me)

he wouldn’t bring her with him a lot

bc people would want to pet her and he would get all flustered

and once he got kicked out of a store because the worker thought he just brought in a dog and evan was too nervous to explain that it was his therapy dog

poor boyo

but zoe and alana and connor and jared would BEG him to because they all love her

so when they got ice cream at a la mode he would always bring bonsai just to make them shut up

and the employees there know bonsai and always give them a free vinalla cone for her

ah i just love the idea of him having a dog

[fanficimagery]

@leonygunawan said: HEY HEY ITS ME AGAIN SURPRISE SURPRISE!! ive come back with a genius idea of jeff x reader where jeff inflamed his rotating cuff (i googled this btw) and y/n is so excited to treat him bc y/n have always been the one that got sick or injured and jeff always treats her like y/n is a fucking queen. She would bring his books, drive him to school, feed him(?), dress him or shower him if you feel comfortable writing that part but if you don't just leave that one thank you so much… again for writing!

Author's Note: I incorporated only a few things because with an inflamed rotator cuff he's not totally useless ;) And the gif really has nothing to do with the story. It’s just cute.

Jeff X Reader

"So it's just an inflamed rotator cuff? Nothing too serious."

"Yep." Jeff grimaces as he unbuttons an old button down shirt, trying very cautiously to shrug out of it. "I got some anti-inflammatory meds and I'm on six weeks of rest starting today."

He easily shakes out of one sleeve, but barely doing so must cause him a wave of pain. His sudden sharp intake of breath startles you into motion and you hold your hands out to stop him. "Wait, wait, wait. Let me."

He softly chuckles, but stops moving and lets you do the work for him. You peel the shirt off easily, staring at the black contraption the doctor left him in. It's a quarter sleeve bandage that fits snug on his right shoulder with a strap that runs diagonally across his chest and under his left arm.  "He said I should ice it every hour for ten minutes or so and if that doesn't work then I'll need to have it massaged. I basically can't do anything with my arm that involves me lifting it."

"You know what that means then, right?" You grin.

"..what?"

"For all the times you waited on me hand and foot when I was sick, I now get to return the favor."

Jeff looks like he wants to argue, but after staring a tad too long and realizing you're actually excited for this.. he sighs. "Sure. That's fine."

The following morning you show up bright and early at Jeff's house. He answers the door with an amused huff, his right arm in a constrictive sling which keeps his arm close to his body and weight off his shoulder.

"Let's go, slowpoke. I'm driving." You beam at him.

"..what?"

"I'm driving," you state slowly, still smiling. "You're hurt and I'm looking out for you. If you really want to heal up by the time baseball season starts, you need to rest your arm."

"You're too good for me, you know that?"

"I'm really not. Now come on." You see his book bag resting by the inside wall and you bend at the knees to reach in and grab it.

"Jeffrey, mijo, who's at the door?" You hear his mother ask.

"It's just me, Mrs. Atkins," you call out. "I'll be driving Jeff to and from school so he doesn't aggravate his shoulder."

His mother rounds the corner, eyes crinkled at the corners as she smiles at you. "Y/N, sweetie, how are you? Have you had breakfast yet?"

"I'm good, Mrs. Atkins, and yes. I've already eaten, but thanks for asking."

"Good. Well then, you two best be going." She turns to Jeff and kisses his cheek, the tips of his ears burning red in embarrassment. "And drive safely." She then leans out the door, cupping your face in hand and pressing a kiss to your forehead. "I'll see you after school."

And instead of embarrassment, all you can feel is warmth and adoration for Mrs. Atkins and the way she treats you as if you were one of her own. "See you later, Momma Bear." Glancing at Jeff once Mrs. Atkins takes her leave, his eyebrows are raised in amusement at you. "Shut up. She adores me and I adore her. We understand each other."

"If you say so," he chuckles. "So where to, mi lady?"

"Hell," you deadpan. "We're going to Hell."

School turns out to be a rather interesting day. With Jeff hurt and not being able to do much, all his admirers were quick to do things for him. His fellow jocks were good at opening his locker and carrying his books/book bag when you couldn't, and you literally had to glare at the other admiring females when they offered to feed him his lunch. 

Jeff and his friends found it amusing, and only let up when you threatened to start keying cars. And since he had taken his medication before leaving for school, the only reason he had to visit the athletic trainer was when he had to ice his shoulder every other class period.

"I'm so ready for a nap," Jeff sighs, sinking into your passenger seat as you drive him back home. "Doing absolutely nothing is tiring."

"Mhm." You hum. "I hope you're a fast healer. I don't know how much more I can take of the Liberty High female population treating you like royalty."

He laughs. "I am royalty, babe."

"Of course you are, my love. But you're my King. Never forget that."

"Yes, ma'am."

You laugh as you continue drive, focusing on the road and getting the both of you to his house in one piece. Mrs. Atkins is still home and she greets the both of you happily, she being really ecstatic when she finds out you're staying over to study with Jeff and have dinner.

But half way through your study session, Jeff complains about stiffness in his shoulder. You tell him to go soak in a bath while you visit with his mother and help her with any dinner prep, and he agrees.

So while you're making small talk and dicing tomato for a salad thirty minutes later, your surprised to receive a text message from Jeff. Cleaning your hands off, you pick up your cell from the table and read what he's sent.

FROM JEFF I'm in need of a nurse's assistance. I can't reach my back.

The picture attached is of Jeff in the tub, pouting as he points over a bruised shoulder.

TO JEFF Are u insane?! Your mother is home. I will not risk her wrath if she catches me in the bathroom w/ her very naked son.

FROM JEFF I'll put on underwear if I have to.

You snort, quickly typing your response.

TO JEFF You're an idiot. Don't you have a loofah on a long stick?

"What's that, honey?"

You startle at Mrs. Atkins voice, guilt seeping in at her friendly smile. "Oh. Um. It's, uh, it's Jeff," you stammer. "He's being silly. Told me to go up and scrub his back."

"Silly boy." She huffs in amusement.

"Right? I told him I was not going to risk your wrath. He must think I'm really stupid to not realize that mothers are very protective of their baby boys. Especially their very naked baby boys," you babble. Mrs. Atkins doesn't utter a word and since you're too nervous to even meet her gaze, it takes you longer than a moment to gather the courage to look at her. And when you do, you realize she has a hand clamped over her mouth and her shoulders are shaking with muffled laughter. "..what? Why are you laughing?"

"Y/N," she grins, lips twitching as she bites back the giggles. "I adore you. You're like the daughter I've always wanted and I couldn't be more happier that you're with my son."

"But?" You gulp. "I feel like there's a but in there somewhere."

"No. No but," she grins. "It's just.. do you really think me that naive to not believe you've already seen my son in his birthday suit?"

You practically choke on your tongue, gasping so suddenly and sending saliva down the wrong pipe. "W-what?" You rasp. 

"Mija," she coos. "You're beautiful and kindhearted, and my husband and I raised an equally beautiful and kindhearted son. You two are drawn to one another like no teenagers should be. It would not come as a surprise if we knew for a fact that you and Jeff are-"

"I'm sorry!" You blurt, heart pounding furiously and cheeks heated as you drop your phone into your lap and hide your face in the palms of your hands. "I- we, uh, we're protected," you blurt. "Very protected."

"Good." You jerk when her hand lands on your shoulder, you then very hesitantly glancing up at her. "Now please go help my son before he injures himself further. And tell him no funny business while I'm in the house."

She walks away after patting your shoulder gently, and you gulp once more. "Y-Yes, ma'am."

Once Mrs. Atkins is safely out of eye sight, you breathe a huge sigh of relief. You pick up your phone, quickly skimming through the six text messages Jeff sent you while you had the most awkward and honest conversation with his mother. He's begging you now to come up, even humorously teasing you with pics and soapy water that doesn't really hide anything from view.

But since you have his mother's blessing, you told him to hold on before making your way upstairs. You leave your phone on his dresser and make your way to his private bathroom, knocking twice on the door before entering and closing the door behind you.

Jeff beams at you, a soapy beard sliding off the end of his chin. "You risked my mother's wrath."

"No," you drawl. "Your mother totally knows I'm up here." His smile drops and eyes widen. "And she totally knows we have sex. She told me to tell you no funny business is allowed as long as she's in the house."

"Oh my God."

"Yep. So lean forward so I can get your back and then you can join me downstairs for the most awkward dinner ever." And as Jeff leans forward, numbly handing you a soapy washcloth, you kneel down to reach the parts of his back that he couldn't. Because if you were going down in flaming embarrassment, Jeff was going down with you.

[itchymatchoo]

So. Hello there. It’s been a while since I’ve written anything personal on this blog and I usually do that when I need to get my mind off pressing issues by ranting about them so. I guess that’s what I’m about to do right now? Except that the issue isn’t really... pressing, per se. It’s just a culmination of everything that’s happened ‘til now I guess. 

I think I’m depressed. I know that I’ve been saying this to myself over and over again. And I definitely feel like I’ve been depressed for a really long time so I really don’t know why stating it now even makes a lick of difference. 

I don’t know. The only other people I’ve ever told about this, I mean outrightly, were my parents and some internet friends. And maybe I’ve told a few irl friends? But idk, I guess I just never made it a big deal to them even though I guess it is. There are just a few things that happened lately that made me think about all of this. Again. 

So. Lots of things happened this year. I umm finally graduated uni, hurray? And then. Without even getting a tiny bit of space for some much needed R&R after a very stressful semester, we drove right back in for our review sessions for our licensure exams. Long story short, I am now a licensed electronics engineer in my country, hurray?

That sentence you know? “I am now a fully licensed engineer!” It should really spark some kind of pride within me you know? And it does. Kind of. I did put in SOME time into it so I definitely feel like I deserve some credit but. 

I never admitted this to ANYONE outside of my family but. Every single day after listening to the review lectures, trying to absorb all that content, yadda yadda. Every single day after the review. Do you know what I did? I just played games. 

I know it sounds anticlimactic like, aw dude is that it? It’s ok to take a break sometimes man. But you don’t understand. While my friends and my other peers were tearing their hair out studying really hard, memorising formulas, making reviewers and reading every single possible source material available, what in the hell’s name was I doing? I was playing. An online mobile game. For days on end. 

Like? I know. I knew. I knew that what I was doing was stupid. That what I was doing was self-destructive. That in the end all this was going to achieve was setting myself down a slippery slope and causing grief to my parents who put in the time and money to send me to that review center. I mean, I still went to all my lectures! Most of them. And you know the funny part is that I DO want to learn. I think it’s great to learn all kinds of things but its just that. Reviewing? Studying? I have NEVER been great at that stuff. Never. Not even in uni. I like learning. I really do. But something as rigid as sitting for HOURS AND HOURS on END reading and memorising nothing but words and numbers that really don’t mean anything to me is just so. Anal. And un-engaging. And I can’t focus.

I WENT to the lectures and I LISTENED. Really listened. Tried to absorb all that shit. But this wasn’t like uni where I just had to focus for a few hours a week then once the quizzes and exams were done, I could just flush all that info down the toilet. No, this was a 6 month affair. And I wanted to do it right! I really did. I even bought all kinds of crap to help me organize and I wrote a bunch of formulas on some sticky notes and stuck them on my walls and door. They’re still right here in my room as I write. I still haven’t torn them down! Or deleted the pictures of slides I took that I never even once looked at cause I’m a dumb piece of garbage. Why do I even bother.

Anyway. Somewhere down the road I got tired. I got tired of putting in any effort into something I couldn’t care less about. Or maybe I was just never capable of such things idk. Even the moment where I told my dad that I was finally an engineer, jumping up and down. It was so. Empty. There was feeling of relief and jesus DISbelief. But like. In the end its like. Okay, so what? I mean. I did not take this shit seriously like. At all. I mean, I binged Stranger Things S3 in the middle of the review while my “friends” were saying things to my other friends shit like, wow cant believe you have time to do basic human things instead of studying? Like yikes but also jeez! I was supposed to be that frazzled but I just wasn’t cause I am flaming garbage fire who would much rather focus on other fictional characters’ lives instead of trying to face her own. 

Most of them were pretty much miserable while I was much less stressed but only in a reviewing-related sense. The stress I felt all those months was due to the insurmountable guilt I felt by not studying. My friends kept doing these Q&A’s and they must have noticed how I never quip in to answer cause I knew absolute jackshit. And. God I felt like literal walking poison then. Even the simple act of trying to maintain some semblance of camaraderie with these strangers (it’s simple since I’ve been doing it since Day 1) which btw was already jarring in and of itself, was taking so much out of me. Hanging out with these people felt like punishment. A reminder of how much I’m not doing enough. And in the end I was just as miserable as they were. I pretended of course. I pretended like it was fine. Like by the end of it, my life’s not gonna come crashing down on me cause I knew I was gonna fail.

There was this brief stint wherein I didn’t come to classes for a few days and I never told them why when they asked. I just said it wasn’t a big deal and I was gonna to start going again anyway. And how do you even begin to explain this sea of shit? And why would I? I don’t know these people. And they don’t know me. And I am not comfortable enough to share my vulnerabilities with them. How can I? I have nothing in common with them and they didn’t strike me as the type to have long emotional conversations anyway. (Except for you J**z, u da realest bidge out der)

And then there were my parents. My parents who saw how I acted at home. My parents who were the only reason I even tried to push this hard. They knew that all I did all day long was play games on my phone. Did they even do anything about it? Maybe an empty reprimand here and there and a disapproving look sprinkled in between but they don’t actually have any type of consequence attached to them. And you know, yeah I get it. I’m 24. I’m old enough to know what’s wrong and what’s right and what it is I’m actually supposed to be doing. I know they expected me to be responsible for myself but really? 

They never even asked me how I was doing. Nothing but reprimands and that’s only if they ever pass me in the hallway or have some kind of forced encounter with me. They never try to seek me out or express outright concern about my well-being. They never ask me, hey what’s really going on? Are you alright? Is there anything you want to talk about? Anything I can do to help? And it’s not like I made it so BLATANTLY OBVIOUS that I was not doing fine in terms of the reviewing or anything right? 

It was always just, why aren’t you studying more? Shouldn’t you be studying? Why are you always playing games? It’s like they expect me to be this person and if they knew me AT ALL, they would know that I’m not that person. I never was. And all it did was plough me with even more guilt, made me feel even shittier. 

But then they also just, treat me normally? Like nothing’s wrong and everything is right with the world. Like my life wasn’t five seconds away from bursting into flames right in front of their eyes. Like they couldn’t care less if I pass or fail. Because it’s my life not theirs.

Do you even realise? Do you even realise that the only reason I went down this road was just so I could satisfy you? To make amends for all that money you wasted on me in my first uni? Do you realise that the only thing that pushed me forward for all those years and these last 6 months were guilt? Do you know what that feels like? Waking up each day feeling obligated to live life for someone else’s sake. Someone who barely acknowledges all the effort you’ve put in? Do you even know who I am? What I like, what I do in my spare time, what my beliefs are? Do you know anything about your daughter at all? 

Do you even know how miserable your daughter is right now, writing this shitty rant at 6 in the morning cause she can’t sleep? Do you know how terrified she is right now because of so many uncertain things in her life? Do you know how much she’s wanted to kill herself over the past few years? Because of you? And yet you can’t even give her the barest amount of sympathy. All you care about are society’s expectation’s of you. Do you even ever care about me at all? As a person? But hey, at least now you get to boast about your engineer daughter. I’m happy for you.

The saddest part is that I know I’ll never ever get to have that kind  of conversation with them. Ever. Because God knows I’ve tried and I know. 

I know that my mom will find a way twist things in a way to make it seem like she’s the victim in all this. Like she’s the only one suffering. And how much her name will be besmirched if word gets out that her daughter has a mental illness and is suffering from suicidal ideations! Oh how scandalous! Who could have raised such a terrible child! Like I basically confessed to her that I WANT TO DIE EVERY SINGLE DAY and she was like THINK ABOUT ME AND WHAT THEY WOULD SAY ABOUT ME!! LIKE??? WHO IN THE FUCK EVEN ARE “THEY”!!! This is your daughter, basically pleading, crying for help and you. You just, don’t care. At all. You only care about yourself. That’s what it felt like. You might as well have said, suck it up chump cause that’s basically what I got from that conversation. You don’t care about me getting better.

And then there’s my emotionally constipated father who will either tell me that the reason I have these dark thoughts is because there are demons inside my head or be completely silent, pretending to give a shit before his fingers slowly inch towards the remote. Because screw me and my issues, right? He’s had a hard day at work, he deserves to relax. 

I honestly can’t tell who is worse.

So yeah. In this house, we pretend like we don’t have issues. Learned that the goddamn fucking hard way. Suck it up chumps. And they wonder why I don’t want to have children? Maybe because I don’t want to end up like you two.

To be fair, we do have our fun and I do love them despite their shortcomings. I guess this is just me wanting what I can’t have. I can’t expect them to be better. How do you even go about that? I don’t think they even realise that they need to be better. I think they think that they’re doing an okay job which, you know, false, so... I should just learn to deal. It’s depressing but even the people who brought you into this world can really just disappoint you like that.

Anyway. So yeah I can’t talk to anyone. I feel alone even when I finally have people around me. I’m finally free from all these big obligations. I finally have these successes to cover up the massive failures of the past. But it just feels empty and I still feel just as shitty as before. 

What now? I got lucky with my thesis and on one of my subjects and managed to graduate on time (relatively speaking). Then I got lucky again with my licensure exam and managed to eke out passing grade. Is that it though? Gonna rely on luck my whole life? Procrastinating ‘til the day I die? Fake it ‘til you make it or die trying? Killing myself from the anxiety of whether I crash and burn or fly and flourish? How am I even supposed to find a job with an academic record as dismal as mine? Do I even want to work as an engineer? Can I afford therapy when I work? From what I hear, millennials are highly underpaid and can barely make ends meet. I’m 24. I’m not as young as the newly graduates but I don’t even do my own laundry nor do I know how to. How is there any way out of this? How can I get better? Am I capable? Or was I always destined to die by the side of the road like a roadkill? I keep wanting things for myself yet look at me. I’ve been in my bed for nearly a week now. My hair is greasy and I feel gross. And I’ve missed several appointments. And even though I’ve had plenty of opportunity, I haven’t showered for a good 5 days cause my limbs feels heavy which makes no sense since I move around a lot anyway. And I always wanna eat shit and binge content all day long and get depressed when I run out of content so I resort to posting a rant at tumblr.com.

tl;dr: i suffer from impostor syndrome, i have mommy and daddy issues, i feel so utterly alone and i’m still depressed and everything is still shitty despite my “achievements”. 

So really. Nothing new. 

[hinanaha]

1-170 :)

lmfao james i swear to god

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? i wish i was 160cm cause i wanna be short and also then my weight would be healthy lmao2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) we all know i want a norwegian forest cat, and also a lizard would be cute3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? long flowing dress or skirts w blouses4: What was your favorite video game growing up? pokemon5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: my cats, what i will eat and how much a wanna be picked up and spun around one day6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? it wouldnt say anything it`d just have the crying laughing emoji like deepfried on red tape7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? u didnt say anything for this so ill state my opinion on meat which is yuck8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] none rlly fit me tbh9: Are you ticklish? yea….. 10: Are you allergic to anything? nope11: What’s your sexuality? lesbian (femme lesbian specifically)12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? coffee, tho i like all13: Are you a cat or dog person? CAT, im very picky abt dogs14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? elf15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? idk like i dont rlly watch youtube for anyone inparticular i just watch whatever16: How tall are you? 170cm17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? opal, just cause its my middle name and opals are my favourite gemstone18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] about 50kg (ik im underweight if anyone is concerned btw im fine its a sideaffect of one of my medications)19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? yes20: Do you like space or the ocean more? i love sharks and jellyfish so the ocean, however i am fucking scared of octopuses21: Are you religious? nope, never have been22: Pet peeves? men.23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? why does diurnal sound like urinal, but i like the day so that24: Favorite constellation? the pot thing cause its easy to spot25: Favorite star? the biggest one there is26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? i dont rlly see much of a use for them27: Any phobias or fears? arachnophobia, and aslo the dark 28: Do you think global warming is real? um yes definitely, because im not stupid29: Do you believe in reincarnation? i mean there aint even close to enough science backing or not backing it so i couldnt say, im neutral 30: Favorite movie? idk31: Do you get scared easily? id say more anxious then scared, like im a very jumpy and shaky person32: How many pets have you owned in your lifetime? idk like 20+ (chickens count)33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] yes34: What is a color that calms you? peachy colours and whites35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? i would love to hike somewhere someday tbh i think itd be rlly magical, and i love nature so much36: Where were you born? Melbourne37: What is your eye color? blue grey38: Introvert or extrovert? introvert39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? to an extent40: Hugs or kisses? both at the same time41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? honestly kinda wanna see my nan rn for some reason42: Who is someone you love deeply? definitely my mum, she is the most important person to me43: Any piercings you want? i want a nose piercing, maybe a small decorative ring44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? yess i love them, i rlly want a tattoo someday45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? no i dont want to46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! i don`t have one47: What is a sound you really hate? i cannot stand the sound of animals licking themselves48: A sound you really love? wind chimes49: Can you do a backflip? i could if i wanted to50: Can you do the splits? no51: Favorite actor and/or actress? ashley johnston52: Favorite movie? this was already asked lmao53: How are you feeling right now? pretty chill but also kinda sad for no actual reason54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? im feelin a burgundy colour tbh55: When did you feel happiest? nothing specific rlly56: Something that calms you down? music57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] i have ADD also p bad anxiety58: What does your URL mean? mango boba yum59: What three words describe you the most? anti-social goblin witch 60: Do you believe in evolution? i do biology so yes61: What makes you unfollow a blog? they post stuff i dont care abt or triggering content62: What makes you follow a blog? pretty picture63: Favorite kind of person: someone who makes me feel special/loved64: Favorite animal(s): cats, bees, lizards, crows65: Name three of your favorite blogs. idfk tbh66: Favorite emoticon: im not on mobile but the sparkling heart one67: Favorite meme: i dont have a favourite68: What is your MBTI personality type? Infp/intp69: What is your star sign? taurus70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? no they cannot71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? pyjamas72: Post a selfie or two? icbb73: Do you have platform shoes? yes74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? i have a double jointed shoulder on one arm75: Can you do a front flip? yes76: Do you like birds? yes chirp 77: Do you like to swim? no lol it sucks i cant breath well when i swim and it freaks me out78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? ice skating, i love it, would take up lessons if they were available79: Something you wish didn’t exist: flies80: Some thing you wish did exist: giant domestic cats81: Piercings you have? just simple ear piercings82: Something you really enjoy doing: doing creative things w friends83: Favorite person to talk to: u already know its the council 84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? funny mem85: How many followers do you have? 168 (i had 470 on my old blog)86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? ye but not always87: Do your socks always match? yes88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? yeah89: What are your birthstones? idk90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? surprising but id be a fox not a cat91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? lavenders baby92: A store you hate? bendigo iga, its shit93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? 1 otherwise my hands shake94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? neither tbh95: Do you like to wear camo? ii guess if it looks good96: Winter or summer? summer97: How long can you hold your breath for? a pretty long time actually, once held my breath for 3 minutes underwater98: Least favorite person? my dad99: Someone you look up to: no one100: A store you love? i dont like kpop anymore, but the owners of happytown were always so nice to me so i rlly like that store because of that101: Favorite type of shoes converse102: Where do you live? austrlia103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? im vegetarian, but i eat mostly vegan food, i rlly like animals and dont like the idea of eating them, also eating too many animal products can be unhealthy 104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? opal105: Do you drink milk? ye but not on its own106: Do you like bugs? yes, silly creetures107: Do you like spiders? im scared of them108: Something you get paranoid about? i dont rlly get paranoid much, but i sometimes get rlly paranoid something be watching me109: Can you draw: ye, reblog my art pls @yumeuwu110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? i cant remember lmao111: A question you hate being asked? i cant think of anything112: Ever been bitten by a spider? nope113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? yeah its pretty nice114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? both i guess,  tho respectfully to their matching seasons115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: id cuddle my future gf rn :`)116: Favorite cloud type: .. w… poofy cloud117: What color do you wish the sky was? yellow would be pretty, but not piss yellow cause that`d be weird118: Do you have freckles? yea faint ones119: Favorite thing about a person: their lips, lips pretty120: Fruits or vegetables? veggies121: Something you want to do right now: sit on a warm hill in silence122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? sky123: Sweet or sour foods? im more of a savoury person124: Bright or dim lights? dim, sexy125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? i mean it aint impossible126: Something you hate about Tumblr: pointless discourse127: Something you love about Tumblr: nice people128: What do you think about the least? idfk129: What would you want written on your tombstone? oh my fuckin god she fuckin dead130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? no one, but im always ready to punch something131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? im very very selfless, which is nice but also makes me rlly sad sometimes132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? nah133: Computer or TV? computer134: Do you like roller coasters? hell yeah, they fun135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? i get motion sickness136: Are your ears lobed or attached? lobed137: Do you believe in karma? i guess138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? probably a 7, like im p cute139: What nicknames do you have/have had? uhhh anepeace (die mr flanagan that nickname is so ugly)140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? no, not that desperate yet (no offence to those who do have them im sure ur lovely)141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? yeah i see a psychologist monthly and also psychiatrist 142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? id like to say good143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? recieving144: What makes you angry? assholes145: How many languages do you speak fluently? 1146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? girls ;3147: Are you androgynous? nah148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: i have nice shoulders149: Favorite thing about your personality: i try to be considerate of others 150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. idk151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? honestly fine w this one152: Do you like BuzzFeed? some things153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] dont have one :((154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? nah155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? yea, prefer people playing w my hair tho156: What embarrasses you? anything that puts me at the centre of attention among strangers157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: loud noises158: Biggest lie you have ever told: i dont rlly tell lies so notin159: How many people are you following? i cbb to check160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? 7000+161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? 1162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? idfk163: Last time you cried and why: i cried cause i saw a floofy cat164: Do you have long or short hair? short hair165: Longest your hair has ever been: hip length166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? most religious views ive heard make no sense when compared to science so i dont rlly believe it167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? nah168: Do you like to wear makeup? sometimes169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? no im weak170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? ye

[dreambook06]

Dream from: Jan 27, 2018, 1:00 AM to 9:40 AM

Jee.sus. No. this is so hard to write, it is SO goddamn much!!! WTF! so i will jump all over the place other wise it is too. much. so the longest part of the dream mustve been this wole alternate reality elementary school thing where there was a very ocd neat freak teacher who was like a pompous older woman but later it changed to sra. nelson lol. but she was like rly religious or something or idk like very whatcha call it like she thought pokemon was bad for kids or something idk so she hid all the pkmn stuff in the classroom or limited it or something idk something to do with pkmn somethings paper clipped to the floor then i broke in and puled them up out of the ground bc what she was doing was wrong and unfair to the kids idk exactly what it was. it made sense at the time. (i wasnt part of the classroom idk how i got involved in this all. i think i was present-day me the whole time?but veeeeery alterlate reality-y-nothing like irl at all) so yeah etc etc sO MUCH and then there’s this whole library thing where ... but it was so so much more like not a normal reality looking library it was jjust a single giant wall very flat mixed with theside of a cafeteria and on the wall there was a poster that said “frogger” w a pictute of frogger from ancient shadow and it was like one of those elementary lunch posters yknow like eat ur veggies or whatever and it apparaently was super nostalgic to me so i wanted to steal it lol and  i . did. i ws gonna just take a pic of it but i thought i might as well steal it to have the actual physicl thing in my posession. i took it off the wall and assumed no one would notice idk. this was all after house in the school btw so i went outin the side of the scool -verry unreality you dont understand- and put the rolled up poster behind or under a rock to take home when i left... also i had my ds w/ which was also near the rock and folds of some kind of paper thing but the whole time i was sueeper nervous someoneed find it and steal it. so much more ugh!! but basicallty the main thing was i was stealing back “my” childhood pokemon figures from the school that i’d stolen over the years when i used to go there - stolen from “sra. nelson”’s classroom and they somehow teletoprted out of my room and back tot theschool when they found out they were gone yrs later...etc... so i kept sneaking in and stealing back little by little and sra nelson set up like booby traps and stuff in this weird alternate reality classroom and things hanging from the wall idk. but later too i was i guess stealing pkmn cardswhich were on the thin library bookshelves.. i stolelike 3 of them and it became a huge deal the police were after me tryingto find out who did it so i had to keep sneaking back andreturning them after all but it made me so sad bc those thing were sonostalgic to me. idk soososososososo much more holy heck! there were way more characters it was insaaane!!! but im too awake now to recall and it’s not suuuuper important.. not one of those SUPER insanely unrealitydreams like the one from jan 20. 

so the whole other section of the dream was even more or just as wild... omfg.... gonna skip around a heck ton bc i dont know how it came to be,,,, so.

(ps i think i woke u p  around this part like slightly for 5 seconds to num-nums back side by my face bc she was up on be pillow behind and around my head with her back legs dangling on the side of the 2nd pillow by my face. she mustve just went up there or made some movement)

jeezuz it isSOmuch!!! nvm what i said before this is insalelyyl so osooo much!okay this isnt gonna be in order at all so this is gonna jump out of no where. basically it was this weirdweeriwriwridweirrdweridwerid world weirddddddd world like a weird unreality home a house a roun ish thingand i was thete somehow but also 3-ish year old me was there. and grandma c. and some parent idk. but idk. there was a couch and idk sooo much more a box tv in front of it...i guess i was there bc i was kind of time traveling through my life... but with tons of random stuff mixed together that don’t belong like ... fifer was in that house in this cat bed behind a curtain up high in this cat tree-like pillar... but fifer was dead. the dead body had been sitting in there for like 4 ish years at that point. they thought just putting a curtain over it would preserve the body. and i said that’s not how it works. but they pulled back the curtain (they=??? unreality version of mom?) and revealed fifer there perfectly preserved. then her leg began to move, she was moving, rising, like she was just waking up from a pleasant nap. hopped down the fuzzy beige pillar thing. acting normal.mom was stunned i was in disbelief reality was questioned.. i was like.. how...(also i was like “i thought we buried her in the woods at kc rd?”) was she never really dead and she’s just so so old she can do nothing but stay up there and not move? and every night she came down to eat? idk but mom was crying happily so hard. things were so weird idk idkidkkdkdkdkdkd.... later.... idk i was w/ dad in grandma evie’s alternate reality house kc rd house. everything was blank like no color so i had to use that one gimp tool that “select by color” tool and color the walls irl. like de blob... i didnt complete it. too much work and i didnt know the right colors everything was. i can’t remember the colors of things from old memory. i just used a deeper maroon brown ish color. but then i made my way to one room and idfk what else but it was reminiscent of old dreams big time and somehow the scene and everything shifted to something else and  a different room w/ a little seat thing by a curtained window and for some reason i was mimicking miranda sings voice, i was like ‘”it’s miraaaandaaaa..aa...a” so then jump back to that weird childhood house w/ me age 3 in it (but also me age present day whatever that is was there and it was from that pov this all happened..) so idfk like omg it was jus ttheir everyday life in like 2003 but unreality not not at all how it rly was just so werid in thisweird dome world house place omfg... big rooms weird angles of walls idk!! the whole place was like yellow...the vibe was kind of like this teletubbies thing but not rly it was just so... ugh!!cant xplain. 

anyway idk likegrandma doing dishes, cosette age 3 running around w/ rly curly hair lol......OH HOLY CRAP I REMEMBERED THE VERY EARLY PART OF THE START OF THIS DREAM HOLLLYY CRAP! wait... it’s slipping away.... let me thing...... ugh crap. it’s gone. but i remember like 2 fragments: so i was looking through some like idk videos of old school parties things idk that people recorded idk! like 7th grade and in one of them i was in a group with some other people and... karen! it was like this maze thing in the school idk like a party for fun kind of halloween idk idfk!! too vague to even...but it was weird for 2-3 reasons. 1: karen wasnt at our school in 7th grade. 2: karen and i were acting like BFFS and laughing w each other and playing games and making funny jokes. and 3: i looked like i was 5 years old in the video like a rly blonde and cuter version of 5 yr old me, while karen looked normal, like she was 13. it was rly weird idk but it ws so weird bc karen and i were best friends and while watching i was dumbfounded like i dont remember this at all!! and there were other clips too but idfk!!! idfr!!! (r= remember)

so back to thething... likek.   i was 3 and running around the place, trying to reach up by the dishes on the sink, reaching for a spoon and stuff, grndma or someone came over to me and pointed at the picture on the spoon of a 3d-ish patrick from spongebob coming off the spoon in a transarent squishy texture. and she asked who is this? and i said in a like my 1-1/2 yr old voice “patrick star.” etc it was so random it kept shifting back to the room w/ the dead fifer up there but also w/ the tv down andto the right of it and a our 00s colorful long couch.. grandma told me (apparently they could see me and stuff and it was just normal) to watch after 3yr old me while she did chores or idk.so i did and it was so hilarious the uninhibited things kid-me said. idk an example... but yeah eventually things got even more unreality w more giant rooms we traveled through and stuff al this weird trap door stuff and stuuuffffff. more characters came along idek.... but this now is near the end of the dream which i should’ve written about first bc now i forgot a lot.... so this will jump a lot and make no sense.... but i had my camera and was recording for fun... but the camera had ike 6 mins left on it which was bad. i wanted to record all the adventures that were going on it was crazy! omg.... so freaking much!!! this tiny little rat/frog thing that was on my hand i put it in front of the camera while i was on the couch watching a cartoon (a weird unreality show mix of childhood shows i dont even remember anything about it now frickign) w/ 3 yr old me and took a picture of the frog thing watching the show. and it was a rly good picture like hq and stuff..... later..... well basically the whole living room turned into water like deep water murky too and someone was trying to get across by riding an oxen or something...(oh yea somewhere in this dream there was a thing about me being vegan but i dont rmemeber. mightve been during all the “sra. nelson“craziness) but then the scene shifted to the same thing but aparently there were people filming a scene for a tv show or movie there and they had these scaey weird grotesque looking human things running slowly (bc water) in a circle while in the center there was a cluster of like 5 camels w/ ropes attached which the weird monster people were cirling around.... idfk!!! but the videographers had 360 cameras or whatever. i guess it ws a very dramatic part of the movie where they needed lots of different shots and angles ... and they made me join the people “actors” in the marshy water w/ the ribbon rope thing running slowly in circles almost like 3/4 submerged underwater .. and once they got their footage they packed up and left and there was a scene of them behind the scenes working w/ their footage and it was like rly bad quality i thought w/ like bright green grass and stuff and i was like were those even professional movie quality cameras? so the water draine and everything was back to “normal” 3 rd old me did a lot of more funny things too but idont remmeber... lastly. laaaastly.... the whole dream was pretty different... the house became a giant mario kart wii-esque race track but we were actually in the game bc it wasnt avideo game it was us actually in karts/bikes racing...it was me, some family, some others idk, and karen again. so we raced and it was crazy fun and a very wild fun map omfg... but it wasn all jusr racing it was a weird mix of so much. it went on for forever so many different obstacles and turns and tunnels and roomsand traveling and fun and not all by car. i was recoridng this too. oh yeah there was this one half-black guy who was like martin kinda and he was w/ me (& 3 yr old me?) on thejourney for some of the scenes....... there is sosososo much more to it you dont freaking know and neither do i now!!! forgotten!!! gone forever. oh well. too much to hold onto anyway. but it was so much more childhood stuff and wildness. but the game finished up around the last lap idk... back in race mode and there were these wario stadium-esque walls like a skate board slope ramp thingy... racinb up those,, get the speed boosts ont he ground, crazy,people neck-and neck, karen was like in th place but then she threw some chansey looking egg bomb thingy and hit 2 out of 3 people and they swerved and she raced toward the finish and won and was super happy and i got 6th place and she wanted us to watch the replay it was crazy too idk!!! actually it think we just re-watched the last 30 seconds where she threw the egg bombs and it was an aerial pov and it was hilarious to see the precision as they swerved out of the way and she sped thru the finish line lol.... might bve been some more stuff after this, and there was a shitton of more before all this and in--between. holy hell. but then i woke up and firgot it all. so the end. freakign. need a dream recorded. i swear to god. for real. holy. heck.