#the picture is not from when Eddie cried but you get the gist of what he was working with

[morganbritton132]

A fan asks Eddie how he wooed Steve into dating him but before he can answer, Steve cuts in like, “One time I asked Eddie if he wanted to hold my hand and he cried. We weren’t even dating.”

Eddie:

Eddie, sputtering: You - you try waking up from what you thought was most certain death in a hospital and have a literal angel ask if he can hold your hand. It messes you up.

Eddie, gesturing to all of Steve: Look at him. Look at Steve now. He looks this good on a regular day now.

Eddie: Now imagine being twenty, high as fuck on painkillers and the governor publicly apologizing to you, and seeing *gestures to Steve again* him at nineteen during an irregular time in our lives. You’d cry too.

Eddie: Actually, I can just show you what I was dealing with

Steve: Eddie, that picture’s awful. Don’t show-

*Cuts to the worst picture that has ever been taken of either of them.

It’s a picture that Robin took on a disposable camera of Eddie in his hospital bed looking like death slightly warmed over but awake and smiling. Steve is standing next to the bed, shirtless with all his bruises and bites on display because he tore two stitches and was too stubborn to leave the room so a nurse was fixing them there.

Steve’s got a look on his face like he’s trying not to show pain and Eddie is giving the camera devil horns. They are holding hands.*

[vampiremeerkat]

If you could rewrite any movie which one would you choose and what would you make different?

Difficult to say, there are alot of bad movies, or worse; movies that had potential.Today I still feel disappointed by Ed, Edd n Eddy’s Big Picture Show. Unlike most of the movies I find bad, I was looking forward to this one. I’m sure that influenced my judgement. I remember it leaving me unfulfilled after watching it for the first time, though it took me a while to realise why.The movie’s production gave Antonucci’s team the opportunity to explore the more undeveloped characters in the cast, like the Kanker sisters and Nazz, but they squandered that chance by making some very odd decisions. I was not charmed by the heavy focus on Edd and Eddy’s friendship, which was filled with..well..homosexual undertones not many fans can deny, while Ed mostly stood in the background, not being much of a serious participant in the very serious drama. It’s a role he ended up playing alot in the series, but it’s not a role he deserved to have in what was supposed to be HIS movie as well.Anyway, there would be quite a few things I’d rewrite. I’d start off taking away all the mystery. When you write a movie for a TV series, it’s supposed to answer the mystery that already exists, not create more or ignore it. I would’ve shown what’s under Edd’s hat, just to be done with it, and make it very clear what it is the Eds have done to deserve getting hunted down like animals. Since they already performed so many scams where they destroyed the neighbourhood and severely hurt their customers, it’s hard to guess what they could’ve done that’s so much worse than their previous antics. When looking at the damage in the intro, I don’t even consider it worse than the previous scams. Somebody needs to be in a coma in order for it to be worse. Sarah and Jimmy were still happily doing their own thing while all of it occurred, so I’d say it was not yet Armageddon. Speaking of which, these two and they disaster tourism didn’t add anything to the story, so maybe they should’ve made themselves useful and be in that coma. Or at least perceived as such by everybody. This would immediately give Ed a bigger, more sincere role as well, since he cares for his sister and would be heartbroken over it. I’m aware it would’ve been a different movie if the carefree dolt turned sad and serious, then again, the original plot is not one you’d tie to a comedy, either. Maybe the fact that it is, is another problem. Why were the Eds this upbeat during their exile? Should the movie even be about children fleeing for their life if you want it to be a comedy?Anyway, the gist is that we need something that makes this scam worse than all the others, and have the characters properly respond to it.I’d also change up the romance with Nazz and Kevin. It was a tedious performance, thanks to Kevin, but I also consider the cheerleader/jock combination to be a cliché we need less of. I would’ve had her go for Eddy, or based on useable hints from the show, Edd.Besides that, I think Nazz’ parts could’ve used flashback scenes to her obese days, where we’d then learn more about who she is and the relationship she shared with whoever she started showing affection towards. That could still be Kevin in this case, but if it was one of the Eds, maybe she could also secretly boycott the other children’s journey to finding them.It also would’ve been cool if in some flashback scenes we’d see Nazz from previous episodes, defending and promoting the Eds or decreasing the damage of their scams behind the scenes, showing how big her influence was. Like the 3rd Lion King movie. Just anything to increase her importance, I guess.If Kevin stays her crush, I would scrap the bike obsession and actually have him respond to her advantages in a believable manner.The role of the Kankers in the movie was fine, but it’s disappointing that their efforts of protecting the Eds from the others were not acknowledged by anyone, and that they did not bother saving Edd and Eddy from Eddy’s brother’s violence. That was strangely out-of-character. I’d have them beat him up and the Eds openly accepting them afterwards, since they saved them twice by that time and have proven their feelings to be genuine. Of course this needs proper dialogue to go with, but I think when this level of seriousness comes from characters like the Kankers, it’ll have a bigger impact than when it comes from a character that’s already emotional most of the time. Like Edd.Then for Eddy’s brother, who I truthfully have no problems with; he could’ve benefited from a character redemption, even if it’s just to humanize a villain for once. We have way too many unmotivated villains in fiction and we still don’t really know who Eddy’s brother is.In the movie we see the Kanker sisters dragging him inside his home, off committing sexual assault by the looks of it, which I find an improper way to end the story of a man we only just got introduced to. He’ll still be Eddy’s brother at the end of the day, so what will these two boys say to each other at the next family dinner? Not much good when you end things this way.So, after I’d have him beaten up by the Kankers and Eddy had his talk with his unusual saviours, I think it would be good if he approached his floored brother and directly asked why he is bullying him. Eddy’s brother would then confess that he’s upset because their parents preferred Eddy over him after he was born. He’ll add that he tried to teach him bad things in order to get him in trouble, and on other days just shoved him around in his state of bitterness, but his intention was to become the #1 son again. But now that he’s an adult and living on his own, he realises it’s pointless to keep going and he’s lost the game of winning their love long ago. Nobody has to feel sorry for him at that point but Eddy.The problem with the movie is that it’s all pretty much about Eddy, with Edd playing the other main part. These two had the most story-progressing dialogue.I don’t know why Eddy is the only character that got explored, we already know who he is. If the less exciting travelling scenes - so most of them in my opinion - were replaced with exploring the other characters, I think we’d have a more interesting movie.Not saying his character exploration is bad, but why did they choose to discuss Eddy’s relationship with his brother? Why not also Ed’s with his sister and parents? And Edd’s with his parents? There’s so much that’s left undiscussed, and I don’t think Eddy’s relationship with his brother was the first and only thing fans were curious about. Show off the parents, show off more children, reveal some last names; this alone I find more interesting than Eddy’s brother.The Kankers were the only allies from beginning to finish, but they got zero praise, Nazz was obviously supposed to star in her own little romance plot, but the movie ended without the romance ever being mentioned again, Kevin was horrid, Rolf and Wilfred were fairly unpleasant towards each other, and the villainous role Jonny was given was insulting towards his character; it’s like nobody received the minimal best treatment from this movie.I also would’ve inserted different music tracks for the dramatic bits. The music was consistently jazzy and cheery, it was weird to listen to.Fans say to have cried when Ed and Eddy sank through the mud, but the background music already spoiled that it was all just gud lulz. It and the sound effects did not take these scenes seriously, while you can clearly see that the animation did. The ball was dropped at many areas.

[inbl0om]

2016 in review

Hey followers, it’s that time of year again! Aka, the year is about over and I write a diary-entry-like text post about how the past 36[6, in this case] days have been for me. Which none of you will probably read. Oh well. Here goes:

Part I: January - Late May I returned to Fordham in the middle of January for my final semester at Fordham. Things were...hard for me to verbalize. A month before, December 2015, I overcame a brief scuffle I had with a few of my friends due to how belligerently drunk I got the night after my first LSAT. Things evened out, but I left LA after the new year with a very troubled heart. I kept asking myself, what would I do if I didn’t get accepted to any of the law schools that I applied to? I had no back-up plan. Ok, that’s a lie; I did: work for a year or so, then go back to school to get my MBA. But I made no effort to apply to any jobs in either city that I called “home.” And that’s another thing: the word “home” began to have many different connotations. So many that I began to hate the English language (for more than the obvious reasons) for having no other word(s) to express exactly how I was feeling. Every party I went to, every living room I pregamed in, every nap I took on Fordham’s quad (”Eddie’s” for all my Fordham followers)--just made me want to cling to New York City even more. College seniors everywhere dread “the ‘G’ word,” but there is no way to explain the disdain “graduation” inflicts on one’s mind and body when the second semester finally rolls around. If anything, the second semester--and every inching second towards the occurrence of the “g word”--makes you really pause the commotion of your life and smell the roses that are the life you made for yourself the past four years.

I met a boy in January on the MetroNorth. He was sweet--almost too sweet. I became too desperate for his attention that I scared him away. Pretty Typical. In February, I retook the LSAT. Then, on the 17th, I turned 22. Once again, I had a birthday party, but I was sad to see that not as many people came as did for my 21st. I also went on my first-ever Tinder date. In March, I came home to Los Angeles for Spring Break. I went to San Diego with a few friends from high school and let myself feel healed by the ocean. In April, I got my first law school acceptance. My fate was sealed. I placed my enrollment deposit and began to come to terms with the certainty that I was, in fact, going to leave New York City for good and return to Los Angeles. I was so happy. And I was so sad. My closest friends were all so ecstatic for my future (and I could tell because that Facebook status was my most-liked EVER at an astounding 180+), yet we all knew what it meant: I was leaving. I was going to be gone.

May was both wonderful and terrible for that reason. My job and my internship both ended, and I focused mainly on my remaining days in New York City. My roommate and I decided to have a “Purple Party” to celebrate that we were both going to graduate schools that just so happened to have the same official color: purple. Mutual friends of ours who lived in a house with a huge backyard let us throw it. Over 200 of our friends came. And at one moment, I actually almost cried. I almost cried because all of these people--who I had either been friends with all four years, had met them along the way, or had just met them that semester--were there for me. Followers, it’s no secret that I suffer from depression and anxiety. I have always had self-esteem issues, as well as abandonment issues and fears that I am never enough. But that night, in that moment, I felt loved. Senior Week commenced later that May. I can’t remember most of the events, but I remember them being fun for many reasons. One night I lay on Eddie’s with my other roommate and we looked at the stars and were holding each other in tears because of how thankful we were that we met each other. Another night, one of my best friends and I finally got around to talking about the reality that was me leaving soon. My brother flew in early (and stayed with his best friend from high school who just happens to go to my Alma Mater) and went to Senior Ball. Senior Ball was amazingly fun...until the after party. Ugh. So much unnecessary drama. But anyway, graduation finally happened. Graduation was surreal. The weather was cloudy, it was somewhat humid, my sister didn’t make it because she missed her flight because she chose her (now ex-)boyfriend’s prom over me, our speaker basically told us that the world is a very terrible place, and seeing AJ get his diploma made me happy that I finally got to say goodbye to him. But honestly, I still can’t believe that it happened. And I don’t think I even know where my diploma is. Oops. Anyway, I’m bummed that I didn’t get to take as many pictures with as many people as I wanted. And I’m still a little bummed that I spent too much time with my family doing all these touristy things. But after my mom and my sisters left, I had two days left in New York City. My last day was really, really hard. May 24th. I won’t forget it. I woke up that morning seeing my bags packed and my bed bare. My walls, which I am notoriously known by my friends for as being the most filled, were blank. I went to lunch with my best friends and tried not to cry the entire time. Afterward, we went to my apartment. In the two hours before my scheduled Uber was to pick me up, my friends helped me take down all the photos that I had taped on the walls. We laughed as we reminisced all the crazy moments that I had captured of our countless shenanigans. Some of my friends asked if they could keep certain photos because they realized in that moment how sentimental it was to them. And then finally, the uber came. I hugged each and every person of my squad. And then when I hugged my main girls--Darby, Alex, and Emma--I lost it. I hugged Darby the longest. But honestly, it’s probably more correct to say that she held me. I finally got the strength to get in the car...and as I drove off, not only did my friends wave, a few of them actually ran after the car. My heart broke into a million pieces. But then it swelled in joy. Never had I ever felt love like this. This love is accepting, this love is patient, this love knows who I am and wants to grow with me. Even with so much distance that I had now created between us. And my brother and I proceeded to get super drunk on the plane back to Los Angeles afterward.

Part II: Late May - Late August The best way to sum up my summer in 2016 is this: I was super fucking depressed. I was mourning my old life. At this point a year prior, I was starting my job in the Admissions Office, I had just moved in to my off-campus apartment, and I was spending every afternoon and night with my best friends either in their living rooms, their backyards, or via drunken shenanigans in Manhattan and Brooklyn. But this year? I was locked in my room watching Netflix and Hulu. Sure, I was very happy to be with my family, and I was happy that I got to spend a lot more time with my friends from high school that decided to move back to LA like I did. But something was missing. I felt empty. I felt lonely. And I felt my heart break even more when I saw via Facebook and Snapchat that my friends from Fordham seemed to have moved on with their lives and had accepted that I was no longer a part of it. I had a depressive breakdown in early July, a little after the fourth. I ripped the pictures of my college friends off my walls and threw many framed pictures I had on the ground, where they shattered. I screamed, cried, and wrote FAT and WORTHLESS all over my body in sharpie. Then, about two weeks later, I went to the hospital because I was self-harming. I had not been suicidal to this degree since AJ broke up with me about a year and a half beforehand.

Then, in late July, two good things happened to me: (1) I started watching Haikyuu!! and (2) I began to take my Intro to Legal Writing class at my current law school. What I liked about my into to legal writing course is that, not only was it super preparatory for my starting career as a law student, I also met many people who I am still friends with--including Aileen, who has become my best friend at law school. Similarly, what I liked about (and still love about) Haikyuu!! is--put simply--it helped me fill a hole that I was feeling. Through the Karasuno Volleyball Club team, I was able to find a fictional psuedo-family while I was looking for ways to create a new one for myself in law school. I also briefly dated a guy I met on Bumble. That was okay, but ended pretty early on. It was nice to know that even LA boys wanted me. And on that note--I also finally came to terms with my sexuality and came out to my family. The summer ended a little early for me because of orientation, but I’m happy that it did. After having a few crying fits wondering whether law school was what I was actually meant to be doing with my life, I was finally ready to attack head-on.

Part III: Late August - December The only thing I really got from orientation was new friends. And honestly, close to 85% of the people I met that first week are still my friends now that the semester is over. These people (Aileen, Josh, Maddy, Michael, Alex, and Joanna) are the main persons who kept me sane. Followers, law school is like nothing I have ever--or will ever--experience. The reading is literally only case opinions, class time is spent trying to affirm what you taught yourself, and your grade in the class is (almost always) determined by the final and maybe a midterm. You have you teach yourself most of it. Your professor is only there to help clear up any questions you have on the rules, their elements, and/or their factors. The most difficult part is teaching yourself the application the rules, because some rules are very broad, and others are super narrow. But once you get the gist of determining which rule falls where, everything else begins to fall into place. Labor Day Weekend was spent in Lake Arrowhead with these new friends. Followers, I haven’t seen that many stars in years. I made a few wishes on three (!!!) of the four shooting stars I saw, and I actually had a panic attack. But!! these new friends were actually super supportive and patient. I guess those are just a few perks of having friends who are older than you.

I actually flew to New York City for Fordham’s homecoming at the end of September! And let me tell you, there were waterworks. The first day, I went to breakfast with my old roommate and another close friend in Brooklyn, and my old roommate and I just about cried when we were reunited after she ran down the stairs to greet me from the uber. My old roommate and I went into Manhattan and ran errands before meeting with my other old roommate, Darby, and our other friend Ben for dinner. And once again, Darby held me while I cried. I was just so happy. There are so many posts on my tumblr in which I attempt to describe how warm, welcome, and loved that these people make me feel. We had a wonderful midtown dinner at an Italian restaurant with live music before heading down to the Village to go out. I got to meet some of Alex’s new friends at her grad school (which was a nice touch because she had taken me on a tour of her portion of the NYU campus earlier that day). We had a pretty lovely rest of a rainy night before going back to our borroughs to sleep. The next morning, Katie arrived, I got to eat NYC-style bagels that I missed oh-so-much, and we went to Homecoming. Homecoming was great because I got to see so many friends that I didn’t even realized I missed. We got drunk under the tent, went to a backyard party, and got pizza at the local spot afterward. And then, at night, a smaller group of us went to the old house of mutual friends that had younger mutual friends living there now. That’s when it hit me: things have changed. No part of my old life is how it used to be. Sure, these friendships will be maintained, and New York City will always be a part of me/have a piece of me--but the illusion that life as it was had not budged since graduation was immediately busted. I left the next day. With tears. But I know I’ll be back.

Anyway, the rest of the semester went by pretty smoothly. I briefly dated a guy I met on Bumble, but it turns out he just wanted me for sex. Whatever--he and his incredibly small penis can go fuck themselves. And then, there was another guy who I actually and genuinely thought liked me at my law school. But like Bumble fuckboy, he only wanted me for sex. He started to spread a rumor that I had assaulted him, which I quickly was able to shut down due to how completely false his accusations were. The good news: I was given a newborn hatchling tortoise!! Little Takala fully hatched on October 4. The little ooo came home to me on October 18, and my life has been exponentially better ever since. I have never understood the hype surrounding pets until I started to care for Lil T. I love that tiny animal more than I love myself. Academically, I hit a bit of a rough patch. I received a very low score, despite a gracious curve, on my first ever midterm exam. This trend continued with other midterms I took. But when December 1 hit, I decided to buckle down and redeem myself. There was no way in hell that I am not going to be at the top. The semester ended on December 21. My friends and I all went out and had a pretty crazy afternoon and night. I came to many realizations about my law school friends, such as who lies about their grades, who cheats, who steals outlines, and even things like who is manipulative and who is most likely going to be at the top or bottom of the class.

If 2016 taught me anything, it’s this: change is constant, and change is difficult. I left many friends and memories--a life--back in New York City; and I created a new life for myself in Los Angeles--aka the city that I was born in and grew up in. 2016 also taught me how to be resilient, how to stay true to myself, and how to both open up about these emotions and to also be a better listener. 2016 was better than 2015 in that I was able to do so many cool things with my friends (both old and new), but it was also worse than 2015 in that all these changes all at once made me very depressed in such a way that was completely different from the depression I felt in 2015.

Hopes for 2017 But anyway, I have a pretty good feeling for 2017. Because my birthday is on the 17th day of February, I have always considered 17 to be “lucky” for me. So, I hope that this year will be good to me. I hope that I can reach my goal weight, to live a healthier lifestyle, to be more receptive to change, to keep getting what I deserve (as in, have the fruits of my labors be from my effort rather than luck)--and, ultimately, to let my anxiety calm the fuck down and actually let life and the universe allow things to fall into place for me without me trying to move too fast or without me trying to unfairly manipulate things into my favor. So, I hope that 2017 will be better than 2016. No--I know 2017 will be better than 2016. Watch out, universe. I’m gonna slay.