#the past few months have been hectic as fuck but at least I have some doodles to show from it /lh

[wanderingchocolateeclair]

Dumping more of the random doodles I’ve done over the past few months while brain and motivation attempts to revive itself!

With Tsunagu’s introduction to Fish, single parent/teacher au, plus one pirate au doodle <3

[minawritesfanfic]

You are who you eat

Dexter Morgan x Reader

Word count: 4.4k

Summary: After lots of games it is finally time for meet Dexter in person

Part 4

Previous | Next

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

The last few days were hectic, to say the least, with Dexter’s constant crew of agents surrounding him it was hard to send him any more goodies without risking exposing my identity earlier than I intended. I wasn’t sure if they’d allow me to send him treats without thoroughly expecting anything I send so I held back. Things were also hectic due to the new developments in the Bay Harbor Butcher case but also a big lead on someone the fraud department had been trying to catch for months, meaning my team was split pretty thin throughout the building trying to help with major and minor technology errors. It was absolutely insane how many calls we got where it was usually a simple fix, I love my job but god some of my coworkers are idiots. I crossed my arms over my chest with a sigh as I walked down the hallway past the homicide department towards the elevator, I couldn’t help but peek through the glad walls, I was surprised to see that Dexter and his entourage were nowhere to be seen. Though I could see him and another guy hiding away in the back, my attention was drawn away as I heard a voice call out my name. To my surprise it was Debra, Dexter’s sister, I didn’t know her very well but we had started talking more frequently as she’s needed my help quite often as of late.

“Hey! I haven’t seen you up here in a while, how have you been?” She said with a smile tucking her hands into her pockets.

“I’ve been alright considering everything that’s going on, how are you? I heard you guys found the butcher.”

“I’m alright as well, I’m just glad we’re close to putting this guy behind bars. It fucking sucks he was one of us though, you just never know what a person is like behind closed doors yknow?” I nodded stiffly trying not to laugh at the irony.

“Yeah, yeah it’s awful. The world’s a really scary place, but uh can I ask what was the deal was with all those FBI agents and your brother?”

“Ugh don’t even get me started on that, they were his protective detail just in case the butcher came after him but he fucking called them off. I was actually headed to go give him a piece of my mind about that when I saw you.”

“Well, they did seem kind of suffocating..” She gave me a look and I raised my hands defensively, “Sorry not my place, I’ll let you talk to him then.”

“Thanks, I will but uh I was wondering if you would maybe want to grab some drinks later?”

“Oh, I’m sorry not tonight, I probably won’t be done until very late. Maybe another time, first round on me?” She frowned but nodded, she patted my shoulder before storming off to see her brother.

It was great news to hear that Dexter’s constant security detail was gone but it also meant he was off to cause trouble tonight and I was going to figure out what. For now, since I have the chance I should probably send another note, I left the department and headed back to my office. I didn’t like the fact I was going to have to print it here but it would have to do for now, I didn’t want to wait too long and lose his interest and curiosity. Once I was back in my office I had to figure out what I was going to write, the other notes came easy but this one was harder to write. The big finale of our interaction was coming, the day we were set to meet in person, I was thankful I had scheduled it for a week or so after I sent the note as having him meet me with security detail would not have been fun. Now that I knew they were officially gone I could send another note confirming that I still wanted to meet him that Friday after not sending anything for nearly two weeks straight, I printed it out in my office and placed it in the bag with the double fudge brownies I had originally brought as a treat after lunch to instead give to Dexter. This time I would deliver it myself to spice things up. As I walked towards the elevator I wondered if he would try to kill me, that’s definitely something I had to consider. I know he kills murders but I don’t know the full extent of how he operates and if I’m safe from being tied down on one of his tables, but it was a risk I was willing to take. Of course that doesn’t mean I was going to meet him unarmed, I would take my own precautions. I stepped out of the elevator and glanced around making sure he was in his office and approached. I knocked on the door and held out the bag of brownies with the note as I smiled at him.

“Special delivery for Dexter Morgan.” I handed them to him and he offered them, I couldn’t help but notice the grin that briefly appeared on his face.

“Oh thank you, any chance you’re willing to tell me who this admirer is?” He asked as he set it down on his desk and looked away not expecting much.

“Sorry no can do, but I hear it won’t be long. Make sure to clear your calendar for Friday.”

I smirked and turned to make a quick exit when I saw the infamous Lila who Debra could not shut up about, she frowned and I knew she saw my interaction with Dexter and I could only imagine what she was thinking but it couldn’t be good. Before I could do anything she said goodbye to the detective she was talking to and hurried out the room towards the elevator. I sighed knowing that there was no way that this could end well, I left the department with a glance back at Dexter. It wasn’t a surprise that our eyes met again, I just smiled and disappeared out the door.

★ ✮ ★

Dexter read the note as he savored the brownie, it was delicious as always but his mind drifted to the brief conversation with a particular someone who he’d been seeing more frequently around the office. Most would say it was a coincidence but Dexter had stopped believing in those long ago with the job he had, they had to be the secret admirer or very closely involved with them. It didn’t make sense though, how could someone so normal and friendly be like him, he simply refused to believe it. From the most recent note it appears he’ll have an answer soon enough, they reiterated their intentions to meet at the beach beside Coral Cove Marina tomorrow afternoon. It was unsettling how much they knew about him and Dexter wondered if he would have to kill them, his number one rule was to not get caught and it’s not like they were innocent. But if he was interpreting the notes correctly they were likely about as innocent as he was, it was conflicting and killing them would make him the biggest hypocrite. Harry’s code has never prepared him for a situation like this. What right would he have to kill them if they worked under a similar code of conduct as he did? If what he did was just how could he persecute you for the exact thing he would be doing to you?

Rather than fretting over the ethical conundrum of his secret admirer, Dexter had other matters that needed his attention like whether or not he would have to kill this ‘Harlow’ person, after searching up his phone number it wasn’t hard to find his full name. Dexter put Christopher Harlow into the department's database, a known alias for one Jose Garza who had committed various crimes but none of which involved murder. Dexter didn’t need to kill him as long as he didn’t know where the cabin was, so he sent a quick text inviting him there to get his ‘snow’. Dexter didn’t wait long for a response and was relieved to hear that he had no clue, he tucked the phone back into his pocket and stood up. He needed to have a quick chat with Debra but more importantly, he needed more answers from Doakes. What he said had stuck with him, was Harry truly not who he said he was?

★ ✮ ★

Of course, I followed Dexter after he left work, I knew better than anyone he didn’t ditch his security detail just to lay around at home and watch tv porn. My suspicions were confirmed when he didn’t take the usual right at the light toward his apartment, I drove far behind keeping a safe distance between us to avoid being caught. Which grew harder to do as he ventured into the more rural part of Maimi, eventually he turned down a long dirt road. I watched as he took one more turn and eventually turned off his car, as I crept slowly towards the turn I could see up ahead was a very remote cabin. Now that I know where it was I could come back later to see what exactly he was doing here, for now, I had more important things to tend to like Franklin Graney.

The thirty-eight-year-old phone technician who not only kills people but violates them alive and dead, he’d just finished checking in after his last job for the day and was about to head home. He made his way to his truck but before he could even unlock it I came up behind him and used my wire garrote to strangle him, I forced him to kneel on the ground and pushed him away from me so he couldn’t reach back to scratch me. It only took a few minutes for him to pass out, I let his body haphazardly fall onto the concrete. I left him there and pulled my car up beside his, then I dragged him into my backseat. I got into the front and sighed, I peeked back at him through my rearview mirror with a frown but resolved myself to finish the job. I pulled out of the parking lot and headed to paradise.

Paradise was in the basement of an abandoned hospital, specifically an abandoned hospital with a morgue built into its basement which was equipped with everything I needed. Of course, I had to rig a few things to work the way I needed them to and clean things very deeply, it was awful in here when I first found it. Now it looked quite nice and I had even decorated it to my liking, and I had taken several measures so that any wanna-be urban explorers wouldn’t be able to get down here even if they tried. It was truly perfect. I turned on my music and got to work dismembering and draining the blood to save for later.

It was nearly midnight when I finished, cleanup was messier than usual today but I got what I needed. Unfortunately I couldn’t bring any of the meat or blood I harvested home because Debra was, unfortunately, spending the night, after we went drinking the last time she confided in me about her relationship with Lundy and apparently took that as us being friends now. I wasn’t a big fan of Debra but if I was going to pursue Dexter I figured it wouldn’t be a bad thing to befriend her, so even if it was unconventional to have her over I was prepared for this. It took a lot of reading, trial, and error but I had successfully managed to rig this floor to a generator which allowed me to use the mortuary fridge. I slid out one of the chambers originally used to store bodies and set the coolers containing the meat and blood onto it, then I slid it back in and shut the door. All I had to do now was take what was left of the body and incinerate it, I chose this hospital specifically because of its incinerator. I could start and finish my disposal of the corpse in one place and didn’t have to bother traveling around to complete the job it was wonderful, I placed the remnants on a cadaver stretcher and wheeled them into the other room. I opened the incinerator door and pulled out the long tray that slides inside, I transferred everything onto it and slid it back in. Then after pressing a button and pulling the lever, the incinerator roared to life, thankfully it was advanced enough to shut off on its own. I just had to come back for the bones another day, I walked back into the main room and grabbed my bag and keys before heading out. I needed to get as much sleep as I could considering what I had planned for tomorrow.

I quietly shut my front door behind me as I slipped off my shoes, of course, Deb had just tossed hers over here haphazardly. I bent over and neatly put them to the side like mine, as I stood back up I was surprised when a light turned on behind me. Debra was sitting up on the couch still awake, I completely forgot that she was still struggling to fall asleep when she was on her own. I smiled over at her and approached.

“You really were out super late.”

“Yeah, I really needed to blow off some steam then I ended up driving around not realizing how late it had gotten.” She nodded but still looked at me a bit odd.

“I see, well I’m glad you’re back safe. I was starting to think something bad happened to you.” I gave her a spin and smiled.

“Well as you can see I’m A-okay, but I desperately need a shower and to sleep for at least a decade.” I walked past her towards my bedroom, “ Good night Deb oh and I probably won’t be at work tomorrow by the way.” I said before shutting the door behind me, I desperately needed to sleep in and prepare for my meeting with Dexter tomorrow.

I tossed my bag off to the side of my bedroom and started to undress, I grabbed my towel and got into the shower. The water was warm and poured down my back it was like a really wet and warm hug. I reveled in it as I wrapped my arms around myself, killing people wasn’t something I had ever come around to enjoying and wasn’t what I wanted to be doing with my life. I had my life fucked from the beginning by people even more fucked up than I had become, so now I kill people so that I could cannibalize them. What a twisted life I was living, everyone I knew would be mortified to learn about what I do or the kinds of things I eat. Though if things continued the way they were nobody ever would, I finished showering and stepped out. The bathroom was warm and foggy from all the steam from my shower, I wrapped my towel around me before wiping away the steam on the mirror. I stared at my reflection briefly and a bloody monster stared back at me, I turned away and quickly left the bathroom. I just needed to go to bed rather than dwelling on things I couldn’t change as it wasn’t doing me any good.

Friday morning came faster than I anticipated but I made sure to call out yesterday so I slept in until ten, though it was hard to stay asleep when I had exciting plans for today. I got dressed and practically ran out the door, thankfully Deb had already left. I got into my car, I still had some time before it was noon so I decided to check out Dexter’s cabin in the woods before meeting him at the beach. I struggled a bit to remember where I was going but the closer I got the easier it was to remember, and eventually, I made it. Thankfully it seemed Dexter wasn’t here right now, I got out of the car and my clothes flowed slightly in the breeze. I nervously approached the cabin, it was old and looked damn near run down. I opened the door and was instantly met with a foul but familiar stench, I winced but stepped inside despite it and was surprised to see Sergeant Doakes locked behind a cage.

“Thank you, god, please you have to get me out of here.” He said with a relieved sigh as he stood up.

“What-what happened to you? Why are you locked up here?” I asked mostly to myself as I approached the cage resting my hand against the bars.

“It’s that freak, Dexter Morgan, he’s the Bay Harbor Butcher and he locked me in here. You have to get me out, the keys are over there.”

I frowned and I genuinely felt bad, to be honest, I liked Doakes and respected him as an officer but I couldn’t let him expose Dexter when I still had business with him. I thought for a moment debating what I should do, I didn’t want to leave him here as realistically Doakes hadn’t done anything wrong besides getting too close to the truth. Which was probably why Dexter hadn’t killed him already. It was his problem to deal with and I really shouldn’t get involved, I turned around and bolted out of the cabin despite his cries for help. I felt sick to my stomach, just leaving him there but what was I supposed to do? I had finally found someone somewhat like me, how could I throw away a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity like this? I quickly turned my car around and drove as fast as I could back to the main road, I decided to head to the beach even though there was still time before noon. I could hang out there and wait for Dexter to arrive but also spend some time clearing my head.

★ ✮ ★

After an enlightening but also earth-shattering conversation with Captain Matthew Dexter was lost, despite that he still arrived at the beach on time to finally find out who this secret admirer was. He stood far away from the shore in the shade with his hands in his pockets, he stared off into the distance where the ocean stretched out for miles farther than he could see but he also observed the various people littered across the beach. So when someone approached him from his left he turned to see who it was, and his suspicions were confirmed though it left him with far more questions than answers. She smiled at him but seemed apprehensive and kept a safe but reasonable distance.

“See we finally met huh? I’m sure you’re already working out how to get rid of me in your head which I wouldn’t recommend unless you want everyone at the office to know it was you. I’m just here to talk, now can we do that or are you going to take care of me like you did Roger?” Despite her body language showing how anxious from her eyes Dexter could see she wasn’t afraid.

“I have to admit I’m impressed by how bold you are, but you know me well. I won’t kill you for now just don’t give me a reason to.” He said narrowing his eyes slightly for a moment daring her to try something, “Why have you been sending me these gifts, what is it that you want from me?”

“That’s a great question, honestly at first I was just messing with you but then I grew curious once I found out you were the infamous Bay Harbor butcher. We operate in similar ways and I was a bit envious of how neatly you worked, at some point I started to look up to you and maybe even develop a crush.” She admitted turning away and walking further towards the beach, “It’s not every day you meet a serial killer especially one with morals. I figured we could be friends or something.” She said with a laugh as Dexter followed slowly behind her as they walked along the beach.

It was weird for Dexter to hear the words ‘serial killer’ fall so casually from her lips as she laughed like it was the most innocent thing in the world. Dexter’s mind was a whirlwind of emotions and complex thoughts, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting when they asked to meet him here. But he definitely wasn’t expecting a genuine love confession, sure they had been sending him notes under the guise of a secret admirer but he assumed it was just an excuse. Not to mention he was still conflicted as you did have morals on killing like he did so it’s not like he could justifiably kill you, this entire situation was baffling. Dexter couldn’t say he wasn’t attracted to her though, despite being weary she still carried herself with a confidence and aliveness that he didn’t have. He couldn’t wrap himself around how she could when they were the same, what did she have that he didn’t?

“That was a bit forward, wasn’t it? I’m sure this is kind of a lot.” She said with an awkward laugh, Dexter wondered if she could read his mind.

“I just never imagined I would find someone like-minded, but you want to be friends? How do I know you won’t just betray me?”

“Uhh I don’t know…” She paused thinking for a moment weighing her options in her head, “I could give you the location to my kill room? Then you could give me something more concrete about, uh let’s call it our hobby, then we’ll be even. Is that good enough for you?” Dexter thought for a moment, he hesitated but he’d be lying to himself if he wasn’t desperate for a connection much like this one.

“Sharing our vulnerabilities would be enough for me to consider this friendship, I keep my tools in a secret compartment in a chest in my apartment.” Dexter frowned as soon as the words came out his mouth, why did he tell her that, he could be risking his entire well-being just for some woman. But after everything going on with Rita and Lila, he needed someone more like-minded and rational.

“Oh so that’s what was in that trunk, I knew it was suspicious. Well, there’s this abandoned hospital on the outskirts of town that closed a little over a decade ago, in the basement is where I keep everything and do my work. There now we both have a safeguard in case of the other.”

“Yes, mutually assured destruction.”

“Exactly, but now for the other reason I invited you here. I do want to actually get to know you as a person Dexter, so how do you feel about treating this as an actual date?” She extended her hand out to him offering to hold hands.

Dexter mused for a moment with an unreadable expression as he stared down at her hand, “An actual date doesn’t sound bad. That’s fine with me.” He laced his fingers between her and she smiled.

“Perfect, I should probably start by introducing myself.” She told Dexter her name and he remembered Debra mentioning her once or twice, “Anyway do you know why I chose this beach?” She asked.

Dexter nodded and listened quietly as the woman went into a long speech about why she had chosen this beach besides its connections to Dexter. They walked along the shore as she did hand in hand with the sun shining down on them from high in the sky, from afar they appeared to be a normal-looking couple on a normal date. Dexter still wasn’t sure what to make of all of this, but he was at least enjoying the company as she made for a decent conversationalist. Not to mention he didn’t have to sugarcoat what he said because of a certain hobby of his because she understood, it was refreshing for him. Intoxicating even, his grip on her hand tightened slightly as he stared forward listening carefully to her words.

★ ✮ ★

We ended up walking along the shore talking for several long hours, well I did most of the talking as Dexter wasn’t exactly the chatty type which was fine. He still responded and was actively listening to what I said and occasionally when the topic broached something he was passionate about then he became chatty, but just as quickly he’d go quiet as if he was afraid to be passionate about anything. It was odd but I decided not to comment on it, as it was still the first date and I would have plenty of time to learn about him. Especially about the way he operated, and at some point our conversation drifted that way. I had seen his neatness in person, and I complimented him on how amazing it was that he never left a crime scene. He was very interested in how I disposed of my bodies though, I kept it vague and only talked about the incinerator. It was too early to talk about my cannibalism, I’m sure that’d scare him off faster than I could say, cannibal.

Eventually, the conversation strayed away from our extracurricular activities, we talked about our masks and he was curious how I hid who I really was so well, we talked about family, our normal pass times, and at some point the meaning of life. It was nice being able to let go like this, not having to hide what I do because someone wouldn’t understand. It was like I was breathing for the first time, and from the relaxed smile on Dexter’s face, I could tell he felt the same. I glanced past him and could see the sun setting over the horizon, it was a beautiful sight and the sun illuminated Dexter with a warm glow.

“This is so nice, I feel like I just let a huge weight off my chest. Not to mention the sunset is amazing, it’s so beautiful.” I said walking towards it as Dexter followed closely behind me as our hands were still linked.

“Yeah, admittedly this is kind of nice. I almost feel alive.” He said staring out at the sun with his hand on his heart.

“News flash buddy, you always were alive. You’ve been living every moment, I think you just can’t see it.” He glanced at me but didn’t respond so I changed the topic, “So does this mean I get a second date? I think this went too well to end with one.”

“Yeah, I think a second date would be quite nice.”

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

[aralezinspace]

Send Me to Sleep

Requested by anonymous: fluff with insomniac reader and the prompt "why are you still up?"

A/N: Here have some tooth rotting fluff, I am not responsible for your dental bills xD fun fact, the thing Dream does to help reader sleep is the same thing I do to get my tiny humans to go to sleep, made this slightly bittersweet to write b/c after next Friday I won't be working with tiny kids anymore i'll be working with college age kids ANYWAY hope you enjoy!! 💖💖

~~Requests are open!~~ ~~Current WIPs~~

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

It was almost as if the ticking of your antique alarm clock was mocking you, loudly reminding you of every passing second you spent awake when you should be dead to the world.

Your insomnia was nothing new, it had plagued you since college. It was conditional on your stress levels, which was somewhat ironic: the more stressed you were, the less you slept. The less you slept, the more stressed you became.

Since figuring out that pattern your senior year, you had done everything you could to keep your daily life stress free enough for you to sleep, and it had been working out for the most part, aside from busy times of the year when work, family, and friends all collided in a few hectic weeks. Times of the year like Christmas, the height of summer, and for some reason, the entire month of April.  

This week was not supposed to be one of them.

You stuffed your face into your pillow to muffle your frustrated scream. It was now going on 3:30am, and you had to be up and getting in the shower at 6. You sat up with a heavy sigh and ran your fingers through your hair. Sleep was obviously not coming tonight, so you decided to get some chores done around your apartment.

Under the hot spray of the shower two and a half hours later, you groaned as you felt the heaviness behind your eyes that indicated your body was ready for sleep. Of course it had to happen when you were getting ready for yet another busy day at work… which would probably stress you out to the point where you wouldn’t be able to sleep, or your body would just shut down out of sheer desperation.

“Ugh, Dream’s gonna kill me,” you grumbled into your towel. “Well it’s not like there’s anything I can do about it.”

If anyone else had been this invested in your sleep schedule, it would have been extremely weird. But the fact that it was your partner, the ruler of the Dreaming and Nightmare realms. Sleeping was kind of his thing, and once again the irony was not lost on you: a conditional insomniac, in love with the literal sandman.

~~

Your day was just one thing after another, mostly phone calls. More than the usual volume at work, then a call from your dad, then another one from your aunt for some reason, then one from your brother that you sent straight to voicemail just to have a break. Future you thanked past you for that, turns out he just wanted to once again complain about his boyfriend.

When you got home, your mind was fuzzy with exhaustion, and your body jittered and shook from the after effects of the four cups of coffee required just to get through it all. You felt like crap, and probably looked like crap too.

You shambled through changing into your pajamas and making dinner, barely tasting the food as you chewed. You barely registered what episode you were on, thankfully it was a show you had seen before. Your “bedtime” wasn’t for another two hours; you were ready to drop, but fucking up your sleep schedule even more was a recipe for disaster.

You dragged your hands down your face and groused, “Ugh fuck me.”

“With pleasure.”

The rumbling chortle came from the shadows by your front door, making you spring to your feet. The rush of adrenaline rendered you wide awake, at least long enough to process who was currently standing in your apartment.

A smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth as Dream of the Endless strode into the light of your living room, hands in the pockets of his signature coat. It slowly dropped from his face as he took in more of your appearance: the blue, almost black bags under your eyes, the pallor of your skin, the slump of your body as if the immense burden of his responsibilities rested on your shoulders.

“My love,” he pressed, almost like a parent trying to get the truth of some mischief out of a child, “It has been some days since I have felt you in the Dreaming for longer than a few moments. Have you not been sleeping again?”

The way your entire body sagged in defeat was all the answer he needed.

He stepped closer to you, gently resting his hands on your shoulders. “Darling, when was the last time you had a good night’s rest?” You shrugged, your brain struggling to come up with an answer that you were allowed to give. Once again, your body language gave him the answer.

“Then why are you still up?” He didn’t sound angry, only deeply concerned. “Why did you not call for me?”

You swallowed hard before mumbling, “I didn’t want to bother you.” A heavy sigh pushed itself out of Dream’s chest and his hands moved to hold your face in his hands, taking the weight of your head off your shoulders. “Beloved, you are never a bother to me. “I would not be a worthy monarch of the Dreaming if I could not even ease my own partner to rest.”

You couldn’t help your chuckle; it was the closest you had ever heard Morpheus come to humility. Your smile brought a tiny mirror of the gesture to Dream’s face as he rubbed his thumb over your cheekbone, trying not to focus on the deep shadows beneath your eyes. He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, letting his lips lingered as he inhaled deeply through his nose, taking in your essence. It stuck in his nose, tainted by your exhaustion. He breathed his words into your skin, “Let’s get you into bed.”

Swift like quicksilver, he scooped you into his arms, drawing a startled squeak out of you, closely followed by a bashful giggle. Dream carried you to your bedroom, staring lovingly at you the entire time. Your bed was still unmade from this morning, and he gently deposited you in it before pulling the blankets over you.

You snuggled into the covers, drawing them up to your chin. You smiled at Dream as he sat next to you on top of the covers. Cool fingers brushed your hair out of your face. You murmured, “Gonna use your sand to send me off?”

Dream chuckled, soft and low and slightly smug. “No, I will not need it to get you to sleep. I need only do this.” His forefinger settled between your eyebrows (some would say over your third eye) and gently rubbed the skin there. You hummed softly, wiggling deeper into the comfort of your bed. Dream’s eyes practically glowed in the darkness of your room, distant, even though he was sitting right beside you.

You were more than bone tired, and sank easily into his soothing touch. Your eyes flickered and fluttered for a moment before finally falling shut. Dream’s touch on your forehead was the only thing that existed in the blackness behind your eyelids, safe and comforting. You could practically feel the stress leaking out of you and into the mattress.

In your last moment of lucidity before you drifted off, you heard Dream murmur, “Sleep well, beloved. I will see you soon.”

[ghostoffuturespast]

WIP Whenever

*takes a deep breath* Tagged by @streetkid-named-desire @wanderingaldecaldo (you two I think at least twice lol) @seeker-of-truth

@baublekute @scarlettspectra @aggravateddurian. Thank you all very much for thinking of me! 🧡

Tag backs for everyone above 😘 and @luvwich @merge-conflict @shimmer-like-agirl @mynonsenseistingling

@fly-amanitaa @dani-the-goblin @tarmac-rat @lavnderkiwi @morganlefaye79

Cash your tag in now or later and feel free to do whatever creative projects you're working on! Doesn't even have to be fandom related.

It's been a minute. This one got long.

I largely haven't been doing any fandom stuff other than VP because my work schedule has been insane the past two months. And the only reason I have VP to post is because I'm generous about snapping pics and the vast majority of photos y'all are seeing are ones I took back in March/April/May.

Things at work are starting to be slightly less hectic though, so hopefully I can get back into the swing of things. I'm trying to be gentle with myself about the time and energy I do have but it's been frustrating wanting to do things and not having the beans to do them. Spending most of my workdays outside for extended periods of time means I'm bone tired when I get home. And then I have more work to do outside...

Gardening

My garden is gonna be very scraggly looking for the rest of the year, but if I can keep it alive, in theory, the plants should come back bigger and bolder next year. Shortgrass prairie plants spend the bulk of their first few growing seasons establishing their root systems since water is often in short supply, so the tops of the plants are very unimpressive rn. Most of them probably won't get much bigger than this or even flower this year.

I've gotten a good chunk of the plants in the ground, have irrigation lines going to all of them, and did the lil concrete paver patio. I still need to finish planting the plants that have been languishing in their pots for over a month, bury the irrigation lines, and do a bunch of other random things, but we're getting there. Not planning on covering the bare dirt with mulch because I'm doing fall and spring seeding and I want the plants to self-sow. Going for wild pocket prairie and I'm gonna let it go absolutely feral. I'd eventually like to get rid of the river rocks too but baby steps.

What's really funny is all my native plants seem to be doing reasonable well. My vegetable garden on the other hand... It's sad. I know where I fucked up though (I should not have done that soil experiment lol and attack of the cutworm catepillars), so I'll just have to cut my loses this year and reevaluate for next. The worm composter is doing good though 🪱

Drawing

Attempting to get back into drawing. Again, it's been slow. Have been doodling some mutual's CP2077 OCs when I have the time and still have a ways to get through my list. I'm surprised by how much fan art of Grandpa I've received so I figured I'd return the favor for some folks. It's always a pleasant surprise getting some lovely art in your inbox. Probably won't be coloring most of these from here on out. I have a love hate relationship with coloring. Sorry, I just find lines more interesting. All of these were done with dip pen, ink, and watercolor.

I've got another more formal piece I need to work on as well and get done by the end of the month. Keep forgetting to do the layout sketches...

Writing

The slowest of them all. Been working on the same damn short fic (No. 1 of Les Preludes) and then brainstorming for about fifty other projects that are waiting their turn in line. Plus, I'm still trying to read too. But when I can only manage a chapter of a fic about every two weeks...

Most of my writing efforts have been bopping into my drafts now and then and pecking out a sentence or two. However, I did manage to spend 45 minutes detangling a section of about 200 words 🐢:

Have you or a loved one been in an accident or injured on the job?  Are you missing your former quality of life?  Holed up in the bathroom, Robert winced at his reflection in the mirror and at the crusted blood he picked at underneath his nostrils.  Then consider Arasaka Cybernetic Implants!  Fully functional prostheses are capable of replicating the full range of human motion and more!  Available in a range of sizes and styles to suit all your lifestyle needs.  The body of the future is NOW. The corners of his mouth tugged on a bruised eye and what former experience had taught him was a broken nose. Call 1-800-IMPLANT today for a free consultation! Low-interest financing and payment plans available. A rapid fire of unintelligible fine print was drowned out by the sputter of the faucet. Robert cupped his hands and scrubbed at his face, the pain disappearing for the briefest moments with the black of shut eyes and splashes of cold water.      Arasaka Corporation.  What can we do for you? Dry flecks of red decorated the sides of the sink before rehydrating into inky swirls of blood that slipped down the sides of imitation porcelain. Yellowed, cracked, and starting to chip. The plastic hadn’t aged well.

This snippet gives me the hardest war flashbacks to those late 90s/early 00s TV phone ads. Anyone else old enough to remember these things?

[prettiestboyreid]

fics that have altered my brain chemistry (eddies/joe qs version)

okay so ive been in an adhd brain rot?? where im just fucking HORRIBLE at reblogging fics that i enjoy and honestly it was my whole reasoning behind making this blog FOR GIVING WRITERS THE LOVE THEY DESERVE i just wanted to give a shoutout to these writers (and stories) they’ve made that just fucking messed with my brain (and in a good way okay??) over these last few months. please check them out and give them all the fucking love they deserve

like a poem (FINISHED series, but sometimes if you ask nice enough she will throw a blurb in there) - im so very fucking biased because i love her to the moon and back, but she writes the best fucking stories of joe that will keep you up all night having you rethinking all of your life choices. IT WAS VERY HARD FOR ME to pick out a story that i wanted to highlight in this post, but the whole reason i fell in love with her writing was because of bookstore!joe and he will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart. love you boo

plot: “Joe finds solace in a quaint bookstore, your bookstore, from a hectic situation in the streets. But, you’re closed. But then also, it’s Joseph Quinn.“ from the authors page

echoes (FINISHED, series) - again im so very fucking biased because she is the sweetest person you will have the pleasure of knowing BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT - she writes so fucking beautifully she will literally have you CRY and this will forever and always be my favourite fic of hers. she deserves all the love she gets, and then even more so read it!!!! (she will make you cry its not on me tho)

plot: “When she laid her emotions out for her best friend, the last thing she expected was for him to turn around, walk away and never speak to her again. Years after, they meet again - different people, different feelings. Or are they?” from the authors page

the hideout (FINISHED, oneshot)- this was one of the first fics i read and fell in love with. it was in that timeperiod where all i could do 24/7 was read eddie munson fanfics and this was one of those fics where i went “holy SHIT??” and honestly i dont think there will ever be a time where this isnt just some % on my mind??

plot: “Eddie Munson made it big. Now, when he returns to Hawkins for a hometown concert with his band, he is reminded of the girl he’s been in love with for the past 6 years when Steve Harrington calls.” from the authors page

vintage reeboks (FINISHED) - this is one of those fics where you’re like???? holy shit i wish i’d come up with that?? i remember reading all of this in one day (summertime, sweating very fucking much) and its just?? holy shit its perfect?? the way eddie is in this??? and its something i could never think of would be this perfect?? i swear i think of this fic at least once a day??

plot: “The gate at the bottom of Lover’s Lake was meant to spit the quartet out in the Upside Down. Steve, Nancy, and Robin were meant to be there. He wasn’t meant to be alone. But when Eddie comes to on the shoreline, you’re there. It’s not the Upside Down. It’s not Lover’s Lake. It’s not 1986.” from the authors page

twenty four hours (STILL GOING) - the way this has me in a chokehold?? im a fucking sucker for when fics have a nice layout??? and this is just so pretty to look at?? like whenever i see its been updated my whole body is SHAKING?? i dont even know what to say?? this is just so amazing and the whole?? will they wont they?? i love them?? i want them both to fight with me all night long??? i CANNOT wait to see where this ends

plot: “in which eddie munson and you absolutely hate each other's guts. what happens when your friends make a bet that you can't spend more than twenty four hours consecutively together?” from the authors page

to know you’re mine (FINISHED) - i saw someone talk about this in the “eddie munson x reader” tag, and DEVOURED the chapters that were up in one whole day?? the way eddie is so fucking soft and nice and the best fucking gentleman in this?? and also?? the relationship to steve in this is amazing??? but THE RELATIONSHIP TO EDDIE IS EVEN MORE AMAZING?? such a fucking fantastic author please go EAT all the chapters right now

plot: “You know the rules. You'd been there when your boyfriend, Steve Harrington, discussed them with the others. There are only two.Number one: Only play when everyone's together. Number two: No finishing inside each other's girls.You'd agreed to these rules, same as Chrissy. Same as Eddie.But then there's rule number three, and though it remains unspoken, it's by far the most important. And you have that feeling again, like when you propped yourself up against the barstool, straining to see him on that stage, craning for a glimpse as his husky voice reached inside you. Now, his dark eyes are doing the same thing: pulling at something buried deep, tugging it into the light where it can't be hidden. And, sure, of course, you didn't intend this. But what are intentions in the face of such things? Needless to say, every rule gets broken.” from the authors page

the customer’s always right (STILL GOING) - hehhehe im a hoe for cutie virgin eddie??? but they way she always manages to capture eddie in her fics?? fucking amazing??? and her writing??? yes PLEASE so do yourself a favor on this fine friday AND READ THIS AMAZING FUCKING SERIES because eddie will make you fall in love in this???

plot: “eddie munson is a virgin and doesn’t want anyone to know (because being an adult who’s never fucked anyone is a total reputation ruiner). but you, his favorite customer, are more than willing to change that.” from the authors page

sincerely yours... (STILL GOING) - like i’ve told her before - her eddie is fucking amazing and so very much to the point!! im so excited for this one and cannot WAIT to see where eddies teasing will make him end up!! the last fucking part of this??? amazing

plot: "Untouchable, is what he called you. Dating Jason, the captain of the basketball tea, most would call you the same. Living your holier than thour life, something else he said, you can’t seem to swallow the need to prove him wrong” from the authors page

burn one (FINISHED) - this is just the perfect fucking combination of smutty and sweet??? like this is just how i imagine eddie and this is so fucking sweet and perfect?? had me thinking about this for WEEKS UGH

plot: "When you move to Hawkins to start over, your new unexpected friendship with your weed dealer next door is your saving grace. It was never your intention to fall in love with him though.” from the authors page

Disjointed (STILL GOING) - this fic has me feeling ALL the feels in all the chapters?? makes me GIGGLE, makes me CRY!!!, i’m in love with all the chapters and i CANNOT WAIT to see them live happily every after

also now that i’ve finished, i’ve just realised this is a lovepoem to my favourite authors on this app heheheh im sorry but i DO love you guys. please do go and read their stories, and send them all the fucking love in the world!! they do have so many amazing stories on their masterlist you will not be able to sleep tonight!!!

authors mentioned in this post THAT YOU NEED TO CHECK OUT!!: @icallhimjoey @ghostinthebackofyourhead​ @inknopewetrust @storiesbyrhi​ @ghost-proofbaby​ @blue-mossbird @lovebugism​ @plumxwrites​ @loveshotzz​ @boomhauer

[nonexistent-introvert]

Overthinking (Paper Stars 6)

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Content: rants about romance, rants, hurt + comfort?, fluff, usual stuff, Joel has a soft spot for you,

A/N: I'm finally back and free! (not for long before exams catch up to me again). This chapter sort of wrote itself and may also be a rant idk. I have also just realized it has been exactly a month since I updated this series. My apologies. (This is also a repost sorry I was trying to edit my post but me being me accidentally deleted it instead )

Paper Stars Masterlist

GIF by loregifs

   “It’s fine.” The last message from Joel has plagued your thoughts for the past hour. You furiously swiped the screen, hoping that the screen would refresh with a new message. The last time you truly saw him was literally the time when you had chased him out of your house. You had barely caught glimpses of him after that and the guilt that ate at your heart for treating him so harshly only seemed to grow with each cold shoulder he gave you. Joel had stopped giving you his usual smiles when he saw you and stopped coming up to you for a quick conversation. “Sorry, been busy.” Your eyes reread that message he had sent to you for the umpteenth time. Hell, you could recite this conversation out loud if anyone wanted you to. If you were any wiser, maybe you’ll realise that Joel has been avoiding you but you decided to trust him instead.

     “Joel, I’m really sorry about the other day, fuck I feel real bad about it. I just hoped to be able to talk to you, face to face.” You reread that apology you sent him. Did you mess everything up with him again? It shouldn’t be a surprise, you tend to do that anyways. The jar of paper stars sat on the surface of the coffee table, mocking you. 

==============================================

     “That’s harsh Joel.” Tommy commented, scrolling through Joel’s chat. Joel harshly snatched his phone back from his younger brother, dropping to his seat with an exasperated sigh. “I mean, I suspected something when you decided to spend more time in the office but to her?” Tommy poked. “Drop it, Tommy. Hand me the proposal already.” Joel instructed. Tommy took the proposal he had tucked under his armpit and dropped it onto Joel’s desk. Tommy let himself drop into the seat opposite Joel, leaning against his arms that were behind his head. “Come on, fill me in.” Joel ignored Tommy, deciding to busy himself with the proposal in front of him. “Its not like you to be so harsh. At least not to her.” Tommy went on, spinning a stray pen that was on Joel’s desk. He leaned forward, a teasing smile on his face as he stared at his older brother. “Ah, the silent treatment. That what you been doing these days? To her?” Joel’s eyes finally snapped to meet Tommy’s. “I told ya to drop it didn’t I?” Tommy stifled a laugh, “That would have worked years ago. Using that card too many times seems to have dulled the fear effect on me” 

Joel simply glared at him before deciding to focus on his proposal again. 

      “Fine, I’ll just ask her myself.” Tommy insisted, standing up to pull out his phone from his pocket while walking towards the office door of Joel’s office. The door slammed shut before Tommy even made it past the door. “Cut it out,” Joel warned again, having got out of his seat to close the door before Tommy could do anything. “Then spill,” Joel averted his gaze away from Tommy. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Joel couldn’t help but think it was so petty when he thought of voicing his thoughts to Tommy. “Something major must have happened. You were literally trying to pick up cooking despite your hectic schedule a few weeks ago. You were more smiley and easygoing since you saw her again and now you are back to the old boring grump.” Joel rolled his eyes, 

   “We just got different perspectives on some matters,” Joel stated plainly. 

================================================

     Having grew up in a family that was not very keen on forming attachments, you have learnt to be nonchalant and not have most things bother you. The literal reason for your family not getting a family pet like a dog was not even the usual heavy responsibilities reason. It may have been one of the reasons but you remember distinctly that the main reason was “When the dog’s time is up, it would be living hell. You wouldn’t want to go through that.” These were the exact words that your parents have told you. It had shaped how you grew up as a person too, having attachments to people only seemed to bring the most pain if they left you, you would rather be alone than have to go through that. You would rather not have formed that deep of an attachment in the first place. 

    You had always despised people who got into relationships headfirst, your first thought was always ‘what if it didn’t last?’, you watched your friends get into relationships with guys and saw how their relationships eventually end in failure. The reasons range from having lost that ‘spark’ to having different priorities in life. It all seemed so foolish, especially when you had firsthand seen how your friends cried over the people they once thought were the ‘love of their life’ when they seemed to never be able to get over their exes. It seemed so foolish and stupid to you, putting yourself in a vulnerable state over someone, not knowing if they felt as strongly as you. The probabilities and variables involved always showed that it was a losing game. The nickname ‘romance pessimist’ was given to you by your friends. It did hurt when some of your closest friends did not tell you about their relationships or open up to you about their own relationships in fear that you would judge them or not empathize with them but you that upon yourself anyways. Just like most things in your life, you just brushed that behavior off, that is also the reason why your phone is filled with contacts that you haven’t talked to for years, you tend to drift apart with people easily. 

    However, you would be lying if you said that you didn’t believe in love at all. In the oceans of bad relationship examples, there were good ones too. Relationships that made your heart flutter upon hearing them speak about their significant other, gestures that made your heart melt when you saw what they did for each other. Chemistry that seemed to bind two people in ways that science and logic cannot explain. It intrigued you to say the very least. While others' dose of romance came from pursuing relationships, yours came from fictional works and other successful relationships. Despite the cold exterior you had put up when it comes to romance, you were a sucker for it deep down. You were just afraid of the ‘what ifs’ in a relationship. 

    Joel Miller, he always seemed to break through that exterior of yours. When he picked up cooking to cook for you, when he changed into formal attire just to match you, and countless small gestures he did for you over the years only fed into your desires for romance. You forced yourself to suppress those desires but now, as you sat on the couch worrying if you had pushed him too far away. You knew that you had already became vulnerable when it comes to Joel. You knew when your thoughts spiraled around him. when you consistently thought and reflected on yourself. A friend once told you that being in love was like being delusional. You never know what the other person is thinking so you think about it until you eventually convince yourself the other person either thinks positively or negatively about you. You delude yourself into believing in that image of you despite what the other person believes. 

     You sat up with a sigh. What were you doing? Analysing his every reaction, wondering if he hated you, wondering if you had finally pulled his last straw. The logical part of you scolded yourself, gave yourself the same advice that you had given countless friends when they ranted about their relationship issues. “Stop overthinking.” You had never realised how useless that advice is until now. You put on your shoes and forced yourself out on a walk, leaving your phone in your home to avoid thinking about the matter any longer. 

================================================

     Joel yawned as he waited at a red light. His eyes fell to the time that read 12.45am. The streets were dark and empty, anyone who took a walk now would be as foolish as the characters you see in horror movies. Not to mention, the dark and stormy clouds towering in the sky and the few raindrops that littered his windscreen. 

      Just as he finished that thought, the one person that would be foolish enough to do all this appeared in his hindsight. It was like a sign to Joel never to underestimate you. He massaged his temples in annoyance as he watched you stroll along the streets like everything he had just thought of did not apply to you. He always admired your nonchalant attitude, the shittiest things could happen to you and you could just smile and laugh it off, preferring to adapt than do anything about it. However, this was a circumstance where that attitude annoyed him. You never seemed to understand the concept behind getting a cold, since young, you have learned to embrace the rain rather than seek shelter. The countless times he had to drag you out of the rain to a shelter and nagged at you for splashing puddles of rainwater at him, especially that one time when you had intentionally stuck your hand out into the rain despite the shelter just so you could gather the rainwater to splash at him. He admitted that it had got onto his nerves, seeing the dirty stains on his pants from you kicking dirty rainwater onto him and getting wet despite being a shelter but the smile and happiness on your face seemed to melt away all the anger in him. Your smile was worth him spending an extra few minutes trying to scrub off the stains on his pants and the sneezing fit he got after. 

       Joel subconsciously smiled at the memories. He watched you, nagging internally at you when he realised you hadn’t brought an umbrella with you too. You were the only person he knew that treated umbrellas like the bane of your life. “It gets wet and what am I supposed to do with it? Hold it? I can’t even throw it back into my bag!” You always complained, opting to get drenched. A logic that he would never understand. 

      Joel drove slowly beside you, cursing slightly at your obliviousness as you continued to walk. If the roads weren’t empty at this time he would definitely be identified as a stalker or be considered as obstructing traffic. Honestly, if it wasn't for the circumstances now, he would have driven right away, still feeling rather hurt at your actions the other day. Well, he told himself that even if deep down he knew he would never just coldly drive past you. Joel lowered his car window, calling out your name. He groaned when you just continued walking, never even realising his truck beside you and that he was calling you. He pressed the horn in the spur of the moment, cringing slightly at the loud noise it made. He swore he could hear the people complaining and cussing him out for horning at this time. You finally snapped out of your daze, you jumped at the noise before your eyes caught sight of the familiar truck. Shit. 

      “Get in.” Joel grunted. You shook your head, “It’s ok.” you tried to brush him off. “It’s about to pour, get in.” At the mention of the rain, the rain got heavier and you cursed. “Joel, I’ll get your seats dirty.” You argued, feeling your clothes get pelted with raindrops. Joel rolled his eyes, hopping out of his truck. A gesture that took you by surprise. “What- Joel- you’re going to get wet!” You said. “I couldn’t care less about my seats right now and I’ll prove it by standing here with you.” “Joel, you’re a fucking maniac.” Joel raised his eyebrows, “Says the one who doesn’t ever bring an umbrella. Talk all you want, we’ll just get more drenched the longer we stand here.” You let out a frustrated groan, shoving past him as you got into his truck. Joel smirked, looking down to hide it before entering his truck again. 

      The silence between the both of you caught up real soon. Unlike the usual comfortable ones the both of you usually shared, this was tense. You looked out of the window, trying to ignore the uncomfortable energy suffocating the both of you in the truck. You eyed the radio in the car enviously, having some music would probably make this less torturing. Joel pressed his lips into a thin line, his eyebrows furrowed as he focused on the road ahead. The mature part of him was calling him childish for ignoring you until you decided to make the first move to talk but he was too stubborn to listen to it. In a way, you did make the first move, offering to talk, but he had rejected you with a cold lie. 

     “You wanted to talk didn’t you?” Joel broke the silence. You stared at him, pursing your lips. You definitely had, you even wrote a script in your mind on what to tell him but all the words seemed to have left your mind now that you were faced with him. “Or did I get you mixed up with Tommy?” He tried to joke, but he should have guessed the frown on his face didn’t facilitate in delivering it as a joke. “I did yeah.” You admitted. He kept quiet, waiting for you to continue. He snuck a glance at you when you took a little too long. “Sorry Joel, that is the main message. The rest of the words are just a mess in my mind.” You sighed, trying to sort your thinking out. 

    “Spit it out, anything. I’ll put them together for you.” You bit your lip upon hearing those words. It was just words, but it brought on a surge of positive mixed emotions. “It's just- I didn’t mean to push you away. I didn’t want to either. I- it just seems like a natural instinct to do that.” 

    “You didn’t want to burden me with your emotions.” Joel concluded for you. You nodded, you would never understand how he knew you so well. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel for a split second. “I’m not a goddamn mind reader you know?” You glanced at him, unsure of what to say to that.

    “I respect that sometimes you need space, but then when I noticed that look on you. I just had to know what was going on in your head. I never wished to be a mind reader more than then. Scratch that, I want to be able to read your mind all the time. I want to know everything about you. So I genuinely don’t mind if you treat me like that diary you had in middle school. Hell, it’ll make me happy. You know I never was one for puzzles.” You smiled at his words, a warmth settling in your heart at his words. When you were young people used to say you talk too much, that you needed to know when to keep quiet, and that your topics of conversation were not interesting. Joel, you should have noticed his comments about you ever since young were the opposite. He never stopped you from talking, he enjoyed it even. Joel was never good with words, he preferred listening and seemed to let him do just that, making jokes and witty comments that can lift his moods on the darkest of days. 

      “That’s just creepy. Imagine if you knew what I thought of 24/7, and it was a journal, Joel. Not a diary.” You joked, you weren’t one for sappy words either. You just hoped he knew in his heart how much his words meant to you. A smile crept onto his face, he rubbed his beard with his hand. “Why? You got dirty thoughts?” “Worse than that.” He chuckled, “Yeah, I would know. I read your diary.” You hid behind your arm as you laughed, cringing slightly at the diary you used to have as a child. “Shut up, it’s a journal.” “‘Mrs. Jefferson needs to learn how to mind her own business and Jennifer inserting herself into random conversations does not make her more popular but annoying literally go back to your front seat and kiss ass.” Joel quoted. “Why do you still remember!” You placed your hands over your ears, cringing at his impersonation of the exact words you once wrote in a private journal until Joel Miller got his hands on it. “Because it was interesting. Only book I read that year, maybe that explains why I failed that literature test on Shakespeare.” Joel thought back, he would never consider himself to be academically smart. “Maybe huh. Just a slight chance you may have failed because you didn’t even do the necessary readings.” you shot back in sarcasm. Joel grinned, “Hey, you should be the next great writer! You  literally beat Shakespeare in being more interesting.” “I literally failed most of my English essays because of ‘grave errors’ like expression and grammatical errors up until finals.” You said, thinking back on how your English teacher failed you by penalizing you on multiple occasions. “I’m sure Mrs. Jefferson would be pleased to find out your diary is one of New York’s bestsellers. With the terrible grammar and all. Could be your unique writing style and all.” Joel teased and you shoved him lightly. 

       The tension between the both of you became non-existent soon enough. 

     Tommy was right, maybe airing some of your problems out instead of bottling them would make life much easier. Advice he had given you in all his years as your best friend, having long learned how to maneuver past those walls you had put up. 

[havethetouch]

Update~<3

Holy fuck its May.

Were tf did April go did April even happen !!!???! Rahhh. Fucking unreal month swear ugh.

On another note I am done, complete, moved out. Project Forever Home is now in the home improvement stage yoooo. Which means I can finally slow down a bit and become a social human being again with you guys xD (or.. at least try my best. May is a bit of a mixed bag for me emotionally but I am taking some vacation days for the time around my fathers death day. Can't believe it has been two years only/already)

Anyway my brother and my mother were a huge help, m-day had to happen twice in the end bc there was so much to do after all and some furniture needed a bit of a creative solution in the end. I think we needed in total like 8 trips with two cars divided on two seperate days (to be fair though, one time my bros car was loaded up with just my bed bc it's an oldschool folable couch bed deal and while it fit in the car you could't load much else beside it and another time my mothers car was just a taxi for all my plants). 1 hour driving time each time to get from A to B and it's always funny how packing shit takes ages, loading up cars tetris style takes like half the time and unloading is a matter of minutes. But it is done now. Old flat is finished up too only thing left to do is have mentainance look at the boiler and that's it I am freeeeeee~

Truth be told I am still in this funny in between were I already mentally view this house as home and talk about it as my home too but I also sit here not quite comprehending this is my home now lol it's probably a lot to do with needing to renovate and unpack stuff and still get rid of some old stuff but being here despite everything does calm me a lot. It's nice vibe here, in this village with so few people out and about, rolling fields just a few footsteps away to all sides and the river down the lane. It's warmer now and I delight in how my garden grows bc it is wild and uncultivated and alive. I feel a lot more alive too, this year has started out well all things considered compared to the shitshow that has been the past 4 years for me. But it grows better by the day. Sure, the last few months have been a wee bit hectic and stressful and emotional but eh, it be like that sometime.

But yeah, I feel good, I feel alive, I feel like I can breathe easier now and as you maybe have seen my latest wip I started to draw again too which is a good indicator for my stress levels going down again too xd life's been so easy and light and good this year I could weep bc I forgot what that's even like.

Thank you guys by the way for all your patience and kindesses throughout, you're all great <3

So here is to new beginnings and a pretty good year.

[the-force-awakens]

nym, oh my stars! your layout looks absolutely stunning. i'm in love with it. it’s such a good look on you.

in other news, i just saw a rumor on twitter saying that john might come back to star wars as finn in rey’s new movie. i know what oscar said but, do you think there’d be any chance of him coming back? even if it’s just a cameo? either way, i hope this ne project will bring you lots of joy and mention poe in a way that pleases you, because you’re THE poe exepert and deserve the best.

i woke the other day and realised i missed being your stadurst, and talking to you. i hope you’re doing alright and that life has been treating you well. please remember to take care of yourself and drink some water, alright?

much love,

lyra

Ahh, ty so much I'm honestly in love with it myself! It's all thanks to this amazing psd by @/cal-kestis though - when I got done making a gifset for Poe's birthday I decided to go ahead and make a header with it!

Hearing that about John really surprises me, I was fully prepared for the possibility of him not coming back (and I sure as fuck couldn't blame him if he didn't), but it'd be lovely to see Finn again and see where they'd take his story and give him some love he desperately needs.

As for Poe - I'm gonna add the caveat that I've mildly deluded myself into believing this but - I think there is a pretty good chance of Oscar coming back too. He mentioned last year (right around the time Daisy started talking abt it no less 👀) that he'd be open to coming back if the story and director were enticing enough. And while obviously, duh, I don't know him or anything, but the way he answered that question seemed interesting to me because it didn't seem like he was just being thoughtful when he answered it? Compared to other times he's contemplated returning to other roles or whatever, it seemed a lil...sus

Not to mention - Poe's clearly on his mind. It makes sense for Star Wars to pop up a couple of times during the MK press tour, but I mean. "Make love gently to star wars", his (head)canons about Poe in the bedroom lmao, having him promote the Halcyon, etc etc...

I definitely think there's certainly an open door of him coming back. And it's not just Oscar - Lucasfilm went out of its way just last year to publish a short story all about Rey's friendship with Poe, so clearly it's something they want to keep in the fandom consciousness y'know? They pushed a lot of content for Poe, at least, last year (altho some of them were completely terrible, looking at u hyperspace stories), so I feel pretty confident.

I am so, so excited about the new movie and all it entails but I'm also so, so nervous about it too. I don't want anything bad to happen to Poe, and some Bad Blorbo Experiences in the past makes me extremely prone to worrying about him (*glares at aos*). But for the most part, I'm glad Lucasfilm is going full steam ahead with it even though the trilogy gets unfairly hated on (hypocritically, might I add, from a good portion of the fanbase), and excited to see a story about the new jedi order and a grown up Rey (what's the chances we'll finally get that jedi praxeum on Yavin IV? I can hope and dream.)

I've missed having you around as well, and I hope life's been kind to you too 🥺 mines just been super hectic these past few months but otherwise okay 💜

[holdinbacksecrets]

well, things have been weird... I think depression and anxiety has been hitting me hard this past week to the point of like chest pain, i think I'm very familiar with heartache lmao. I'm a senior now, finally made it to year 6 in med school, and currently in my first rotation, i don't know how to feel about that other than fear of my own incompetence and failure to compensate for it because I'm just so exhausted..

As for writing, i haven't done any for like close to at least 1 year, nothing, even poetry has been sparse, maybe max of 3 this whole year. It's like slow torture... it's like the first death described in black swan. I've been trying to plan a novel, but all i have is Pinterest boards for characters and a main idea of a plot and it doesn't seem that this year I'll be able to give it time because it's hectic and important and i also have my damn research on thalassemia patient's quality of life and whatnot.

Loneliness is suffocating as well, I don't know what to do with it, i blame it on adulthood and maturity, hell im 23 yet i feel like i have the loneliness of a vampire watching every loved one fade. there's not much to do about it. everyone's busy and i hate human connection as much as i crave it.

I thought by now you'd have relocated btw because it's been a while that you've been talking about it, also didn't you go back for masters or is my timeline of events wrong cuz trust me I don't even remember my name these days

hi friend 🤍

i’m sorry about the anxiety and depression. i certainly understand how hard both are to deal with. anything you can do to get even a little bit of relief? is therapy an option for you?

congratulations on making it to your senior year! that’s a wonderful accomplishment! i watch a few med student youtubers, and i’m so impressed by everything that you all do. it’s a fuck ton of work. is school a major catalyst for the anxiety and depression for you or more so other things you mentioned like human connection/loneliness? everything?

even if your plans for the book aren’t as far along as you were hoping they’d be, i still think it’s really cool that there are ideas dancing around in your head. they won’t just disappear either, so you can always dive back in when it feels right and the writing is coming. you’ll have to keep me updated on this. i feel you on the writing thing. i’ve finally been able to do some writing again after months of shitty work, but the longer it’s missing, the crazier us writers feel. i hope it comes back to you sooner rather than later. a year is a long time. idk if i’d ever write without music. it’s such a huge source of inspiration for me.

oh god… the loneliness. i’m so touch starved that i don’t know what to do with myself. a huge part of me wishes i could erase my dating experience last year bc absences following what that little supernova gave me are apparent as hell. i feel like my isolation from covid never really ended, and i’m still trying to move out of it and form friendships in closer proximity. hating human connection and craving it at the same time—felt. i consistently feel like i have to be a better version of myself first, but will i ever meet a version i’m satisfied with? there are always mental hurdles to navigate. do you have any friends in your med school program?

your last paragraph pierced my heart a little bit bc i too thought i’d be in a different city by now. i lasted in my grad program for three months. it was horrible. i took a class last summer, and i knew pretty early on that it was the wrong choice, but i still started the fall semester. i wanted to give it a sincere shot and not make a rash decision (i convinced myself it was rash but it was really my gut saying important things lol). maybe in the future i’ll go back to school and do something completely different. i kind of want to get an english degree, but the idea of doing another bachelor’s feels strange. i wanted to double major originally but didn’t. for now, i’m working a remote job i hate and constantly job searching for something else. i’m passionate about community engagement work and environmental justice, hoping i’ll find something. i still want to move to chicago. i’ll be there in september, and i’m hoping my time there will solidify feelings and desires about relocating.

[abishekmuses]

Dear Nastya,

I've been on this streak of writing something everyday - I intended for this to be a forcing function for me to start putting words down and kickstarting a writing habit.

I've been at it for a while now- close to a month I think. It's been good. But I also realise how I don't have as much to say as I thought I did. Sometimes I do and I write them down. but most of the time, I'm thinking about optimising my own life - I'm trying to make sense of what I want - what I don't want. I am trying to get myself out of some mindfuck or some emotional tangle.

Not that those posts from like a month ago were actually literary gold but I at least managed to find something that could be put up on a blog post. Now, it feels like I'm running dry - but I guess that's where this exercise of writing every day no matter what is going to pay off.

I hope so anyway.

Today, as I sat down to write, I had absolutely no idea what I was going to write about - just didn't feel like there was anything I wanted to say to myself. Also wasn't feeling like writing for ONiO (which would satisfy the conditions to mark today as done, writing wise.

So i figured I'd write to you. See if that makes it easier for the words to flow out - and here they are - the words do seem to be flowing out.

So, what do I want to say to you? First of all, I really hope your kidneys are doing fine and you're doing fine as a whole. I thought of something happening to you a couple of days ago and the thought was so scary it made me cry. I miss you a lot sometimes.

In the beginning, I was super occupied - very "highway to the danger zone", "eye of the tiger" kinda vibe - was in a go getter flow. Just doing things all the time and wondering why i don't have more time to do more things.

And then slowly but surely, the emotions came. In the beginning I was still rolling and thought "meh this is easy; I just lean into these feelings and i'm releasing a ton of stuff" - turns out i was stupid. the shit really started after MSR and velliangiri trek - some of those days were fucking hectic nastyush.

I was thinking the other day - funnily enough, in the beginning, when i was in a monastic zone and then later when i was in a properly "suffering" kinda state, I didn't think of you or miss you much. But when I got into the zone where I was filled with a lust for life and wanted to do this and that, I suddenly started missing you a lot and wanted to hang out really bad.

Sometimes I wonder what the hell we're doing with our lives if we can't even hang out with our favourite people - it's something i've been thinking about recently. Community is super important - we both know it - why not double down and invest in keeping it together?

Easier said than done I know - where would we do it blab blah I know - BUT IT SUCKS THOUGH!!!!!!!

Just checked on FB to make sure you're alive.

right now, i'm filled with a lot of emotions for some reason. Don't know why. I feel lost sometimes and cry a lot. But then I remind myself that this is me coming out of the mess - not getting into a new one.

I"ve been thinking a lot about the past. About Ukraine. About all those years. I still can't stop crying when I think about that time. But slowly I'm getting to a place where I am finding myself better oriented in the present.

Journaling is a good thing apparently - i can see why. I'm glad I started journaling again.

I fucked up my back Nastyush. Hate to complain but at this point I'm just writing this to myself so what the hell. So no getting hot for now. Has to wait. it's been really frustrating but I hope it gets better soon. I'm forcing myself to rest and not do anything for now. today, i thought i did "rehab" and even that was too much by the looks of it. Need to lay totally low again for a few days.

I wonder what you're upto with life these days. It feels so long ago that I spoke to you although it was only 7 weeks ago. 5 more weeks to go.

At various points in this period, there's a part of me that wants to just carry on like thise for a good while - like 3 years. Maybe that's not realistic or practical i don't know. Definitely in the early days, I felt like this was it - like all this time in life was just to come to this stage where you realise "oh fuck I need to do sadhana and get out of this" lol something like that.

Can't relate to that now. I'm in a totally different mindspace. I feel like hugging you and crying nastyush. I didn't realise it until I started writing this to you. Even writing this makes me feel cared for and loved in some way. I don't know if that makes sense.

[bi-bard]

Nine Years of Posting Fanfiction [An Anniversary Post]

Here it is. April 7th.

For those who have been here a while, then you know that today is a big deal. Today celebrates nine years since I started posting my writing online. And I know that I haven't been posting much over these past few months, but I still find this day to be incredibly special.

The last year has been a wild one. Through school and my life, things have been nothing short of hectic as all hell. I cannot thank you enough for being there through it. If you have been patient enough to wait through the last few months with me, thank you. If you stumbled onto this account during that time, thank you. If you don't give a shit and are just kinda sitting there and minding your business and kinda forgot that you actually followed me, thank you.

I have been so grateful to do what I have. I'm reinventing some OCs of mine. I'm trying to get through the most recent writing challenges (key word: trying). I am trying to write for new things and exciting stories while pursuing other hobbies and paths in my life. And you have all given me that ability and I cannot thank you enough for it.

So, what's next?

Honestly? I have no fucking idea. I am working on a lot, but I have no idea what's going to happen between now and you guys getting to see it. I am planning to start posting on one of my TikTok accounts as I begin to paint more stuff (kylihoward7, if you're interested). I have a huge series for this account that I am putting together that's related to the pop-punk/emo scene. I am trying to write and get content out while I do my schoolwork, but it has been rough to say the least. I am trying to change jobs right now because I am unhappy (understatement of the decade). It is all currently trying and in the works and I cannot promise anything right now.

So, thank you again for all of your support. For your support through this last year and through all the years that follow. I think you are all amazing people and I admire all of you. Thank you for giving me space to grow and change and become something more than I was before. It has been a wonderful experience, and I cannot wait to see what's next.

I'll see you all soon!

Love you!

[moonless-if]

MOONDAY UPDATE, OCTOBER 10th 2022

happy moonday!

hope you had a good week, and hopefully, none of you has as busy a few weeks as i do coming up. because i am gonna be very busy for the next couple of weeks (with work becoming more hectic, me taking union training courses, and nano coming up) i'm gonna go on a kinda-sorta hiatus from here for a while.

now i do plan to still stick around tumblr to answer any asks i get and just in general hang around, but the Moonless will be stuck on the back burner until at least december, while i focus this month on my regular work and november/nano on my side project @nectarlake-if.

i'm definitely still gonna be writing on the Moonless in the background, but it's not gonna be my main priority for a while. then when i come back, i'll see if i keep up with the weekly updates or if i change that up since it sometimes feels like i have very little to update you on, so maybe monthly would be a better format.

now, to the actual update!

what i did

last week was less writing than i would've liked, due both to me distracting myself with other things and due to my regular job. there was still some writing done, just not as much as in the past few weeks.

what i did do instead was map drawing (both working on Amelare, and trying to figure out the layout of the temple area, so i know where the fuck mc and Rainn are going) and just having a little too much fun with that.

i've also been working on the game art, mainly with figuring out the cover art for the start-up page and then getting so very very caught up in symbolism in art because uh........ reasons (let's just say that everything featured in those pieces have been heavily thought out).

i don't have any snek peks to include here this week, though (because i'm writing this during a work break or else i'll forget) but maybe once i get back home.

plans for next week

no plans this week, unfortunately, because i don't know if i'll have a lot of time to actually sit down and do anything. between work, preparing to go on a union training trip this saturday until wednesday (need to make sure my substitute at work know what needs to be done, that i've done all the work i need to before i leave, need to clean my house since my dad will be dog-sitting, need to pack, etc. etc...) what little free time i do end up having i'll most likely just want to sit down and breathe.

i hope i'll find some time here and there to write, but writing just won't be a priority for me this week.

that's all for today. i'll see you all in december!

- spacedfoxes

[vendettaparker]

Peanut Butter and Extra Jelly [T.H]

Summary: Tom’s long time crush on you becomes painful when you and Harrison are cast as love interests in a movie. 

Paring: Tom Holland x Actress!Reader 

Word Count: 5.8k

Warning: Suggestive themes, fake smut (very light), jealousy, probably some typos, swearing 

a/n: i have no idea how filming a movie, or auditioning for one actually goes so don’t crucify me for this. i’m pretty happy with how this turned out, especially considering that this is the most i’ve ever written for a fic. also, Burt Kreisher is one of my fav comedians in real life, he has 3 shows on neflix and a mini series.  

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     Tom was not a jealous person. At least, that's what he always told himself. He prided himself in thinking he was a very level headed individual who didn’t let his emotions get the best of him. That worked best for his job anyways; always being able to control his emotions and not get in his own head. That simple, pacifistic mindset seemed to change when it came to you. 

      You were one of the many actors Tom got the pleasure to help hone their technique and work closely with. You were new to the lifestyle of Hollywood and the only roles you had before were in small indie films that never garnered too much attention. The first major role that you landed, which also happened to help kickstart your career, was in the MCU. You played the secondary villain in the third Spider-man movie. 

     Meeting the cast was a dream come true; they were all extremely helpful and they provided tons of tips and tricks in navigating the hectic schedule required for such a huge production. By the time filming wrapped up, you were considered part of their little Spider-man family. 

     Tom was easily the most helpful. Whenever he saw you struggling with anything, he offered to help. You two spent hours upon hours together in his trailer, ordering take out and practicing lines. Some nights you two planned to work through your script, but inevitably ended up falling asleep binge watching The Office, and laughing about crazy shit that happened on set that day. 

     When the movie wrapped up and you went home for a month before the press tour, you were completely unsure and nervous about what direction your career was going in. You auditioned for a few new movies, but had yet to hear from any of the directors about casting decisions. You kept in touch Tom during the month you were apart and expressed your concerns. 

     “I don’t know, Tom. I’m just so sick of waiting around and hoping that some director out there throws me a bone, ya know’?” You said on facetime, while making cookies. 

     “Yeah, I totally understand that, (Y/N/N). I had that issue a couple years ago before the Marvel movies. Trust me, you did outstanding in that role and once it gets noticed I’m positive you’ll have directors calling you, begging for you to audition.” Tom smiled warmly into the camera as he walked around his apartment in London. 

      “Yeah, easy for you to say, movie-star.” You giggled, turning your face away from the camera in hopes that Tom wouldn’t notice the blush his compliments painted onto your cheeks 

     “I’m serious! You were outstanding! Like in that one scene where you—” 

      “Tom! Tessa chewed a hole in my trousers again!” A voice came from outside of the frame, “Mate, you gotta get her to stop doing that somehow.” 

     Tom sighed, and waved his hand dismissively at the figure, “Okay, sure. I’m busy right now.” Tom looked back to the camera, “anyways, as I was saying, don’t stress about not having a new project yet, (Y/N)—” 

     “(Y/N)?” The other voice whisper-yelled. “Let me say hi!”, suddenly the phone was yanked out of Tom's hands and the video shook around a bit as Tom wrestled to get it back. Finally, the camera stilled and Harrison was on the other end smiling. “Hi, (Y/N)!” 

     “Oh, hi Harrison!” You smiled back, laughing. You'd met Harrison a few times when he visited Tom on set. “How are you?” 

     The camera started moving around more as the background behind Harrsion whizzed past. You assumed Tom must’ve been chasing him to get the phone back. 

     “I’m good! I just auditioned for a new movie. You should audition too! The main female lead’s description looks just like you.” He exclaimed, running past the kitchen to his room. 

     “Oi! Give me my phone back you div!” You heard Tom yelling in the background, no doubt in hot pursuit of Harrison. 

     “I don’t know, I'm not sure I’m prepared for a lead role.” You sighed, “What’s the movie called? I’ll look into it.” 

     “It’s called ‘Collateral Damage’, it’s a spy movie.” Harrison said, shutting the door to his room, while Tom pounded on it from the other side. “Yeah, it’d be really fun working with you. Tom constantly talks about how much fun you are on set.” Harrison wheezed out, trying to catch his breath. 

      “Aw, that’s sweet of him.” You laughed. “Well I’ve got to go. Just tell Tom he can call me tomorrow or something.” You waved at the camera. “Bye!”

     “Yup, bye.” Harrison said right before the video cut out. 

      Harrison finally opened the door to a seething Tom. Tom grabbed the phone back from Harrison and noticed that the call had ended. 

     “Dude! Why would you do that?” Tom whined. 

     Harrison just patted Tom’s back, “Sorry, mate. She said she had to go, though. I was about to give the phone back.” 

     Tom huffed and sulked for a moment. “Whatever, I’ll just call her later, I guess.” 

     Harrison nodded and smirked at how whipped Tom was. “You should just ask her out if you’re so desperate for her attention.” Harrison teased. 

     “Shut up. I’m not desperate for her attention, I just like her voice and her personality, and the way she talks, and her funny sayings, and how her hair looks when she just woke up.” 

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     It was only a few days later when you received an email from the director of the movie Harrison told you about, asking for you to audition. You were ecstatic, Harrison must’ve already sent in some things about you since the director seemed adamant that you were of high interest for the role. 

     You called Tom immediately to share the good news. 

     He picked up after the third ring, “Hello, darling! How are you?” he beamed when he answered your call. He usually was the one to call you so he felt a sense of pride knowing that you were calling him for once. 

     “Tom! The director of the movie Harrison auditioned for just emailed me asking for me to audition!” You squealed excitedly. 

     “Really? That’s wonderful, love! Harrison just got the part of the lead too, so you’d be filming with him if you got it.” 

     “That’s so exciting, I’m flying to London for the audition in two days. Are you still there?” You pulled the phone away from your ear and switched it to speaker. “I’m booking the flight right now.” 

     “Yeah, I’ll be in London for another week and a half. Then we have the press tour starting in Japan.” Tom said, also switching to speaker phone to look at his calendar. “You can stay with Harrison and I while you’re here. Since we have to go to Japan together anyways.” Tom offered nervously. He really wanted you to stay in his flat with him. It’d be all cute and domestic, and maybe, just maybe, he’d spend enough time with you to not feel nervous about asking you on a date. If he was lucky, that is, but awaiting your reply he was a jittery ball of nerves. 

     “Yeah, that sounds wonderful. I won't be intruding though, right?” You said, smiling from ear to ear. Thank god you weren’t on facetime and Tom couldn’t see the stupid smile adoring your features. 

     “No, of course not. Harry will be so excited to see you. And Tessa too, she really misses you.” Tom shuffled around with his phone, shooting a quick text to Harrison letting him know you were coming to stay for a week. 

     “Ok, thanks so much, this is really thoughtful of you. I absolutely can’t wait to see you!” You gushed, finalizing your purchase of a one-way ticket to London. “K, the flight is at 2:30 pm here, it’s about 9 and a half hours, but you’re also ahead of me, so I’ll be in around..5?”

     “Yeah, that sounds right to me,” Tom chuckled, “I’ll come pick you up. I’ll wear my incognito disguise.” 

     “If you mean that stupid t-shirt you got that says ‘I’M NOT A CELEBRITY’, then maybe I’ll ask Harrison to come pick me up…”

     “That’s cold (Y/L/N).” 

     You giggled softly, “I’m sorry, Tommy. If it makes you feel better, that shirt isn’t as bad as that stupid blue beanie that you never wear correctly.”

     “How the fuck would that make me feel better? You’re killing me, (Y/N/N).” 

     You laughed at his over dramatic reaction, “Sorry that you’re a sensitive babe. I gotta go now, see you soon!” You hung up before Tom could respond with a sassy quip. Then immediately after you received a text:

Tommy: The second you get here I’m bout to 👊 

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     Tom called Harrison up after you got off the phone, he needed to make sure his best friend wouldn’t say or do anything to embarrass him in front of you. 

     “Tom, don’t you think this is a bit obsessive? I mean, she’s only staying with us for a week and you already know her so well from spending all that time filming with her.” Harrison sighed, sick of listening to Tom ramble about every possible embarrassing situation he could be put in, in the coming week. 

     “Yeah, yeah, you’re right. It's no big deal. But don’t mention that time I accidentally shit my pants at the club, or that time I got hit in the head with a golf ball ‘cus I got distracted by a flock of geese, or that time a got chased by a flock of geese, or—”

     “Geez, mate. At this point we might as well not even talk to her.” Harrison chuckled, thinking of all the stories he could bring up about Tom around the dinner table with you. Tom really was just a walking ball of embarrassing moments. 

     “Stoppp ittt,” Tom whined, “when we were on set it was usually just the cast and Harry around, but you? You could do some real fucking damage to my love life, Haz.” 

     “What love life?” Harrison barked out, laughing. 

     Tom then hung up and began praying to whatever god was out there that this week could go by without a hitch, and then you and him would be on your way, together, to Japan. 

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     The whole week spent in London actually went really well, especially the audition. Tom and Harrison both accompanied you for moral support, well Harrison actually had to be there to be your scene partner, but it was still nice knowing he supported you. 

     The director shook your hand and you went through the normal formalities before beginning your scene with Harrison. It was a quick scene with a monologue in it. The main premise of the movie was all about choosing love over work, especially in dangerous, life-threatening scenarios. The scene you used to audition with Harrison was the scene where the main character, Lincoln, and his lover interest, Mallory, were arguing, trying to push each other away to keep each other safe. The scene had a lot of raw emotion that you were able to tap into, and the directors gave your performance a standing ovation once the scene concluded. 

     They said that they’d get back to you within the next few days, but they also mentioned how the chemistry between you and Harrison was off the charts, leaving you hopeful. Tom and Harrison both gave you hugs and pats on the back. Tom had watched the whole scene unfold and he was in complete and utter awe of your talent. Part of him was annoyed that he didn’t audition for the movie and a chance as your love interest. But Harrison deserved this big break and so did you, so he was hopeful of the outcome being something that benefitted both of his best friends. 

    After the audition the rest of the week went by nearly perfectly. The real kicker was when Tom’s family invited you and Harrison to join them for dinner. Tom had not anticipated his mom asking you to come to family dinner, so he wasn’t able to stop the embarrassing anecdotes his mom told on his behalf. 

     “Tom had the cutest little tush,” Nikki exclaimed, placing the old homemade scrapbook in your lap and flipping through a couple of pages. “See look,” she happily pointed to a picture of Tom as a toddler in a bath, surrounded by bubbles, his little bum poking through them. 

     Tom sat uncomfortably on the sofa next to you, cringing at the now 21 year old photo of him. He expected you to also cringe along, or worse case scenario, get up and make a flimsy excuse to leave his crazy family, but you just chuckled along with Nikki and continued making your way through the scrapbook, making little comments here and there. 

     “Oh, and this one,” Nikki said, pointing to a photo of Tom crying and Sam holding up a superhero action figure triumphantly, “that was Tom’s favorite toy, but when Sam saw how much Tom liked it, he made an effort to always be playing with it when Tom came into the room and he wouldn’t share.”

     You giggled at the little whiny face Tom made in the picture, and turned to him, replicating it on your face, making fun of him. Tom laughed along and playfully shoved you. He adored how well you seemed to fit in with his family and his feelings for you only multiplied. 

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     The week in London was one of the best in your life. You didn’t realize how much you missed Tom until you got to the airport and he was there waiting for you, unfortunately in his stupid blue beanie, and no, it wasn’t on right, his big ears poked out of it horrendously. 

     The last day you had in London before you and Tom went to Japan, you finally received a call about the audition. The director called you to congratulate you on getting the part, and he sent you numerous emails about scheduling, where to be, and when. Harrison was elated to have a familiar face playing his love interest on screen, and Tom was over the moon excited for you, this on top of the Spider-man movie coming out, you were certainly becoming a force to be reckoned with. 

     You spent the night celebrating at a club, Harry and Sam also showed up to party with you. The night was still young and the club was already packed and in full swing. Tom ordered two shots for each of you to start off the night before he was whisked away by a few fans to sign autographs. When he didn’t return you took it upon yourself to have his shots, giving you an extra edge to help spice up your night. 

     Harrison found Tom in the corner of the club talking to some fans. But throughout his whole time taking pictures with them, he couldn’t help but glance at you every once and a while. You looked so carefree and beautiful, dancing around in your shiny silver top and leather leggings. 

      “Tom.” Harrison interrupted Tom’s gawking and directed his attention to the small group of fans Tom was with. 

     Tom nodded and finished up his pictures and autographs before wishing them all a good and safe night. Once he reached you, you engulfed him in a bone crushing hug. 

     “Thank you for such a great time in London, Tommy.” you slurred, already feeling the impact of the four shots you took. “I had the best time of my whole life.” You pecked his cheek and pulled him close to dance with you. 

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     The following month or so on the press tour was a once in a lifetime experience. You travelled to more cities than you even knew the name of and you had all of your friends by your side. More so, you had motivation to remain approachable and well liked by fans considering that you were moving up in the industry. Some interviews were mostly for Tom, Zendaya, and Jacob. Your role in the movie was big enough for you to be needed for some interviews, and most people were genuinely interested in getting to know you, but there were also a handful of press activities that you weren’t included in, which you didn’t mind. 

     When you didn’t have anything to do for an hour or so, you would text Harrison and send him funny memes. He was quickly becoming one of your closest friends; you had already created a surplus of inside jokes with him just over the phone. 

     Tom noticed how you were always laughing at your phone or rapid fire texting. Even when you were being interviewed, Tom could faintly hear the buzz of your text message notifications going off. 

     “Tom,” you snapped in front of his eyes, “did you need something?” 

     “Huh?” Tom blinked a few times, “Uh—no, sorry.” Tom’s cheeks flushed pink, embarrassed for having been caught staring at you. He couldn’t help it though, you were dressed so pretty that day. You had your hair done up in two bubble braids and you wore his pink sweatshirt over your yellow sundress. 

     “Okay then.” You smiled at him. You went back to your phone, reading what Harrison had just texted you. “What was the name of that comedian we watched the other night?” 

     “The one on Netflix?” 

     You hummed out a yes, tapping away at your phone. 

     “Burt Kreisher, why?” Tom asked, leaning over to your chair to try and catch a glimpse of who you were texting. When he saw the contact name “Hazzy”, he couldn't stop the little angry pit of jealousy that started in his stomach. Sure, you were here with him now, not with Harrison, but when you two were apart you also texted him nonstop, and the texts seemed to all be inside jokes, which was something you also shared with him that he held near and dear.

     “I made a joke referencing him to Harrison and he didn’t get it. Fucking nerd.” You chuckled, texting Harrison a link to the skit you were referring to. 

     Tom chuckled along, but he couldn’t help but frown slightly at how bright your smile was when Harrison replied. 

                       ➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

     The press tour and premiere of the movie seemed to go by lighting fast. You’d never been to a premiere for a production this big, and your nerves for the red carpet were starting to get to you. 

     You and Zendaya were stuffed into a hotel room with both of your respective teams, both trying to rapidly get both of you ready for the event. 

     “So when do you start filming for your next project?” Zendaya asked, she sat in front of a broadway-equse mirror, bright bulbs of light giving a luminescent glow to her already near flawless complexion. She hadn’t even finished her makeup yet and she was so pretty.  

     “In a month, I have to go back to London next week.” You said, sifting through the opinions you brought for dresses. You brought three options, just in case you changed your mind after seeing yourself in the dress. “Harrison and I are going to go over the scripts together and we were also told to go out in public a few times; for press and whatnot.” 

      “That’s exciting!” Zendaya mused, she glanced at the clock and gave her hairdresser some instructions about how much time she had to do hair. “It’s a good thing you guys are already friends. I remember when I filmed ‘The Greatest Showman’ I didn’t know many of the actors personally, so we had to go out together and do press all while being almost strangers. It was a bit nerve wracking.” Zendaya smiled at you fondly, she was like an older sister to you during this whole movie-making process, she constantly had your back. 

     “Yeah, I mean I’ll probably be in a situation like that at some point, but for my first lead role it’s nice to be working opposite a friend.” You smiled back, finally deciding on the red, sequined dress. 

     You both sat and worked through the makeup process in comfortable silence. 

     “So you and Tom…” Zendaya broke the silence and looked at you with a smirk on her face. 

     “What?” You looked at her with a dumbfounded look, before nervously laughing, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

     “Don’t play dumb, (Y/N/N).” She poked your arm and laughed, “He’s literally obsessed with you.” 

     You laughed at how ridiculous that sounded. A movie star, and very famous movie star at that, obsessed with you? You? Impossible. 

     “Yeah no, sorry but you got the wrong girl, babe.” You sighed, pulling out your phone to snap and selfie with her for your instagram story. You quickly snapped a pic of the two of you, her kissing your cheek, leaving a small, faint lipstick mark. “I mean it’d be nice,” you back tracked, “but I’m sure that’s just my wishful thinking.” 

     “What wishful thinking? I thought you were a pessimist?” Zendaya chuckled, taking her own photo with you to post later. 

     “I am, but I can’t help but indulge a bit.” 

                      ➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

     Before you knew it, you were back in London, staying in a rented out flat for the next three to four months. Harrison was kind enough to come over to help you set up a work space, but he also offered you to spend most of your time at his place. Since Tom was in New York, doing interviews about the new Spider-man movie and having meetings with the Marvel Cinematic Universe team to try and gauge his future in the MCU, he wouldn’t be around for almost a month, so Harrison offered up Tom’s office when you needed to go over a scene by yourself and wanted a place that was already set up. 

     The days of filming seemed to go by in the blink of an eye. Most of your scenes were with Harrison, and he was the perfect scene partner. He rarely messed up, but if he did then he was quick to use it as an opportunity to improvise. His skills weren’t as well honed in like Tom’s, but it was obvious that their style ranged from a similar source. 

     The main thing about this movie that you were excited, but extremely nervous for, were the two sex scenes. The first one is at the beginning, where the two leads give in to each other for a night, then there's some implied stuff in between, and the last one is when the two leads part ways for the final time at the end of the movie. The first one had to be rough, fast, and needy, whereas the second one was direct to be more slow, thought out, and sensual. 

      Both were extremely stress-inducing to film. Harrison had also never done any scenes like this before, so he was on the same boat as you. Thankfully you had an amazing director and stunt coordinator to work with and with the help of other crew members, the scenes were mapped out so that it wasn’t too much improv or guessing on your part. 

                                 ➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

     The first intimate scene you shot actually happened to be the one at the end of the movie. That scene was more tame and dealt with more emotional subtexts than physical. Since you filmed that one first, you went into filming the next one with more confidence. It only took a few days to get the first scene down to perfection, so with this newfound confidence, it shouldn’t take too long to get the next one done. 

     On the days you shot intimate scenes, you only needed to wear the costume you wore before the scene and then you changed into a robe with nude underwear underneath. The bits with the outfit on before were already shot, so the director called a 30 minute break until you could begin shooting the actual sex part. 

     You were standing by the snack table, eyes scanning the table for any more muffins leftover from breakfast. The robe you wore made your skin prickle whenever a draft came onto set. 

     Just as you had found the muffin you were looking for, a pair of warm hands covered your eyes. 

     “Guess who!” An all too familiar warm, British accentuated, voice called. 

      You turned around in his arms, effectively nudging his hands from your face, and soon you were met with the warmest hazel eyes. Eyes that you missed so much this past month. 

      “Tommy!” You squealed and thrusted yourself into him in a hug. He immediately reciprocated it and wrapped your body in warmth. “What’re you doing here?” You asked once you let go of him. 

      “Harrison gave me the location so I could come watch you film. I just got home, like, two days ago.” Tom eyed you up and down, not realizing what little you had on. “Um—are you wearing anything under that?” He pointed up and down your figure. 

     “Nope, today and tomorrow we’re scheduled to film the sex scene.” You said casually, doing a silly twirl. Tom gulped. 

     “A s-sex scene?” He choked, “I didn’t know you guys had one.” 

     “Yup,” you smirked, “two actually, this is my first one ever, Haz’s too, I think. Well actually, we filmed the sex scene at the end of the movie last week.” 

     “Yeah… t-that’s cool.” Tom smiled weakly. 

     Right as you were about to continue your conversation with Tom, an arm swung over your shoulder and pulled you close. Harrison smiled at the both of you. He wore a similar robe to yours, except he left the front open. His plaid boxers on full display. 

     “Don’t listen to her, Tom. She’s a natural.” Harrison pinched your cheeks. Tom clenched his jaw at the comment. He knew Harrison hadn't meant to imply anything with it, but he couldn't help but hear the hidden meaning behind the otherwise innocent compliment. 

      You giggled and pushed his hand away, “Only ‘cus my scene partner is so darn cute.” You retaliated, poking and tickling his pecs. 

      This kind of goofy banter was normal between you and Harrison, but Tom hadn’t seen either of you in so long. He also had never seen you two interact so fluently with each other. He watched the interaction with a tight-lipped smile, nodding along and shrugging every once in a while to seem like he was paying attention. In reality though, he couldn’t pry his thoughts away from how close you were to Harrison. 

     “Ok everyone! Places! Let’s wrap this scene up and put it to rest today!” Your director called. You and Harrison smiled and waved goodbye to Tom. Harrison pointed to a chair in the room that had a nice view of the set where Tom could watch. Tom nodded and walked over to the chair, enthusiasm for watching you work completely dissipating. 

     The scene started off rough right off the bat. The second the director said ‘Action!’ you and Harrison were practically pouncing on each other. Harrison had you pressed up against the wall and you were both breathing heavily. He was leaving sloppy, wet kisses down your neck, then across your collar bones. Your moans, which Tom always imagined to sound like music to his ears, sounded too real for his liking. But no matter how much he tried to look away, his eyes were glued to the two bodies moving fluidly with one another. 

     “Cut! Cut!” The director yelled, effectively ending the scene. You and Harrison pulled apart and he gave you a peck on the cheek, as in saying ‘good job’. “That was good, but Harrison,” The blonde nodded, awaiting further instruction. “You gotta be a little rougher, hm?” 

     Harrison nodded along with the critique. “(Y/N)?” the director moved his attention to you, “would it be okay if Harrison marked you up? Just a few hickeys to really sell the illusion. We can do without, though, if you feel uncomfortable.” 

     Tom overheard the interaction and internally hoped that you were too uncomfortable for that, but deep down he knew you would do it. You were never the type to stray away from a challenge. 

     “Yeah, that’s fine.” You nodded, chest still heaving from the scene. You looked at Harrison. “Is that okay with you?” 

     Harrison nodded, a shy smile tugging at his lips. Yeah, you guys have been working at this scene for days now, but he’d never been rough enough to leave marks. He’d be lying if he said the thought didn’t invigorate him. 

     So the scene started from the top, you pressed up against the wall, all your weight shoved between the flimsy wall of the set and Harrison’s strong arms. Harrison did exactly as the director required, leaving noticeable dark spots across the top of your chest. Unlike your previous moans, which had just been for show, this new roughness in his actions tore real moans from your lips. 

     Tom sat uncomfortably in his chair, wishing he picked a different day to visit you on set. He shifted around, watching twin moans pull from both you and Harrison’s throat. He watched as you nipped at Harrison's ear as he faux thrusted into you. The jealousy that had pitted itself in his stomach soon turned to self-loathing. You looked really into the scene, he couldn’t help but feel like he was intruding. He knew you were a great actress, but he couldn’t believe that this was all acting. In his eyes, he believed that some part of you must wish that this was real. And part of you did like this scenario, but you wouldn’t have picked Harrison to be opposite you in this little fantasy. 

     Your moans and Harrisons both grew louder, leading up to the climax as scripted. Tom, not wanting to watch anymore exited the set quickly before he could watch the scene end. 

     You and Harrison finished up, gaining applause and praise afterwards from the director and crew members on set. 

     “Where’s Tom?” You asked, scrambling back into your robe and smoothing out your now roughed up hair. 

     Harrison, now noticing the absence of his best friend, began to feel a bit guilty. He knew Tom had a thing for you, maybe he should’ve told Tom not to visit set today. 

     “Um, (Y/N)?” He mumbled, pulling you aside slightly. 

     “Yeah?” You still looked around for Tom a bit, heart sinking when you realized that he must've left without saying goodbye. 

      “I shouldn’t be the one telling you this,” Harrison began, drawing your full attention, “but Tom really likes you. He always downplayed it, so I didn’t realize how much, but I think watching this scene might’ve upset him a bit.” Harrison looked towards the exit, no doubtedly where Tom left through, out into the parking lot. 

     “Oh—oh!” You gasped, feeling terribly for having put Tom in such an awkward position. “I didn’t know he felt the same.” You whispered, smiling softly to yourself. Guess Z was right after all. You pulled away from Harrison, “I’ll go talk to him.” 

                                 ➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

      Tom didn’t go far. He still wanted to be there to support you; he didn’t want to come off as a jealous prick, but he couldn’t keep watching that intimacy between you and his best friend. He sat on the curb outside of the building the set was built in. A few people passed him going to their designated buildings on the lot, but he didn’t pay any mind to them, too lost in his thoughts. He needed to tell you sooner rather than later how he felt. No time to be a pussy anymore. 

     “Tom?” You walked up next to his sitting figure, still only in a robe, tightly wrapped around you. He looked up to acknowledge you, mumbling a soft ‘Hey.’ before looking back down, trying to collect his thoughts and courage. It’s now or never. 

     You sat beside him and rested your head on his shoulder. “Harrison told me something interesting in there,” You paused for a moment before continuing, “about you.” 

     Tom’s head shot up, and he looked at you with frantic eyes, only imagining the worse. There were too many things Harrison could’ve told you about Tom to sully your image of him. 

     “Whatever it was, he's a lying prick!” Tom rushed out. 

     You giggled, lifting your head up to look him in the eyes, his dark hazel eyes boring into yours. 

     “That’s a shame then,” You shrugged, “considering I like you too.” 

     Tom breathed out a sigh of relief, before looking back at you, doing a double take. 

    “Wait, what?” 

     “Mhm, yeah.” You said casually, standing up. “But since Harrison’s a liar then I suppose he was wrong.” You teased. 

     “No!” Tom grabbed your wrist and pulled you back next to him, but his aim was a bit off and you ended up in his lap. “He lies about a lot, but not about this.”

     You smiled at him, “I should hope not, considering I’m crazy about you.” 

     Tom couldn’t help the smile that beamed across his face, but then he noticed the marks left on you by Harrison. Remembering why he was insecure in the first place, he looked away. 

     “What about Harrison?” He asked. You looked at him utterly confused. Tom caught on and explained further. “You looked like you were really into that scene with him.” 

     You giggled and pinched Tom’s cheek, turning it red. “I’m an actress, you idiot.”

     Tom scoffed, “I know that. It’s just— I didn’t realize you could fake that kind of love.” 

     You looked at Tom’s downcast face. You leaned in and kissed his neck, just under his jaw. You nipped and sucked softly, leaving a nice, dark pink blotch that would go away in a few days under his jaw and he whimpered softly.

     “I’d never fake that kind of love with you.” You grabbed his face, holding it gently in your hands. “I’d never have to.” You whispered, pulling him in for a kiss, soft and sweet. 

     Tom pulled you closer, resting a hand on the small of your back, kissing back fervently. 

     The short make-out session being cut short by the door to the set bursting opened. Harrison rushing out, now dressed in slacks and a white button up for the next scene you needed to shoot that day. 

     “(Y/N)! Hair and makeup need you.” You lugged yourself off of Tom’s lap, promising to talk to him after you finished for the day. You went back inside, jokingly blowing a kiss to Harrison on your way. 

     Harrison stayed outside and sat next to Tom. 

     “Did she confess first?” He asked after a moment of silence. 

     “Yup.” Tom smiled happily, licking his lips, tasting the strawberry chapstick he saw you put on earlier. 

     “You owe me 10 pounds then, you wimp.” 

     “Oh, fuck off.” Tom groaned, promptly pulling ten pounds out of his wallet and handing it to Haz. 

[yungkiszka]

I think these would work well together: 100, 124, and 69 with Jake 😉

i hope this is gooooddd I enjoyed writing it and I hope ya like it too❤️❤️

Having Jake away from you so much was terrible. You usually were able to join him and the boys on tour but the past few months have been hectic for you.

Luckily, the band had a few weeks off until they had to go back. You were thrilled to be back with your boyfriend and spend as much time as possible with him.

Being miles away from each other was absolute torture for many reasons.

You and Jake were out to eat at a bar with the rest of the band and some other friends. It was so nice to be with him and be with your friends again, finally being able to sit and enjoy some drinks with them.

You didn’t spend much time around the boys since they got back because you’ve been with Jake 99.9% of the time.

You two have NOT been able to keep your hands to yourselves, constantly touching or fucking. So being out with the boys was a little break from it all, at least for now.

You sat in a round booth with everyone around you, sat in between Jake and one of your best girl friends. She was too busy flirting with Sam to even remember you were there, and everyone else held conversations amongst one another.

“You look stunning, my love.” Jake placed his drink down, eyes sparkling as he looked up at you and placed a hand on your knee.

“Why thank you jakey, you don’t look so bad yourself.” You giggled.

You two still flirt and act like this whole thing is new to you both, it’s really cute and he still gives you that butterfly feeling you got when you first met.

You took a shot that just arrived at the table and Jakes eyes didn’t leave you for a second.

“Atta girl.” He spoke, tracing his hand up to your exposed thigh right below your skirt.

You felt your cheeks get warm, couldn’t tell if it’s from him or the alcohol in your system.. or honestly both.

“Did you really have to wear this tonight?” He asked as he pinched the bottom of your skirt in between his fingers lightly.

“It’s cute, and I haven’t dressed up like this in a while. I didn’t have anywhere to go while you were gone.” You spoke innocently.

“Well I mean it does look amazing on you,” he said looking down at your skirt, “but it would look better off” he finished his sentence as he whispered in your ear.

“Jacob, you playfully smacked his arm, “we’ve been at it like rabbits and you’re still horny?” You spoke softly.

“I can’t help it, you’re so good love.” His voice was low and raspy.

You guys stayed for quite a while and everyone started to head out. You and Jake headed back to your apartment after everyone else started to leave as well.

You were struggling a bit finding your key to open the door. Jake crept up close behind you lying one hand on your hip and gripping it.

You finally got the door open, yoy set your keys down and slipped your boots off about to head off to your room to change.

Jakes hands grabbed your hips and turned you to be face to face with him.

“Now tell me the real reason you wore this outfit, baby.” Jake sai, looking down at you and licking his lips.

“W- what do you mean Jakey? I told you I just haven’t dressed up in a while.” You looked at him with your puppy eyes, holding back a smirk.

You obviously knew wearing a skirt would drive jake insane and you just wanted to have a little fun with it tonight.

“Don't pretend to be so innocent,” he pulled you closer, “you know exactly-.” Jake started to talk but you wuickly spoke again.

“Babbbee I promise I just wanted to wear something new, I just got this skirt and I thought-.” Jake cut you off, his hand wrapping around your throat with just a small amount of pressure.

“if you interrupt me one more time— so help me god.” He brought his lips to your ear, whispering and instantly causing you to get wet.

“I-I’m sorry Jake.” You felt his hand grip tighter around your throat.

“You know better than that, don’t you baby?” The more he spoke, the more horny you were getting.

“Yes sir.” You looked down, jakes hand grabbed your face to look him in the eyes.

“Now, why don’t we just take this pretty little skirt off.” He said quickly pulling it down.

His eyes widened at the sight of nothing else under the skirt.

“You little slut,” he groaned, “knees, now.”

You did as he said and dropped to your knees in front of him. He quickly took his belt off and used it to tie your hands behind your back.

You had a button-up crop top on and he quickly pulled it open revealing his favorite red lace bra on you.

He quickly unzipped his pants and let his now hard dick flop out in front of you.

“You know what happens when you tease daddy, huh?” He grabbed a fist full of your hair and pulled your head back to look up at him. He slowly started pumping his cock in his hand.

You couldn’t get any words out, your bottom lip was between your teeth as you bit down hard.

You tried moving forward to lick his cock, but he quickly pulled your hrad back.

“You’re so fucking needy, huh? So pathetic.” He started to pump a bit faster, groaning and throwing his head back.

“Please Jake, let me taste you.” You begged

He brought his hand that was in your hair to your cheek, caressing it softly.

“Oh baby, you know what to call me don’t you?”, he used the same hand to smack your face,”Why are you being such a bad girl today, hm?” He rubbed your cheek and grabbed your face in his hand.

You looked up at him, desperately waiting for him to let you do something.

“You want a taste baby?” He spoke softly, pumping his dick harder and faster.

You nodded your head in agreement, biting your lip.

“Use your word love.” He gripped your hair, and pumped faster.

“Yes Sir. I wanna taste you so bad, please.” You could feel the wetness dripping down your bare thighs.

“Open that pretty little mouth baby.” You did what he said and started sucking on his dick.

His head fell back, he didn’t even hesitate and started thrusting into your mouth making you gag.

“I love those pretty noises you make, baby, be a good girl and take daddy’s dick.” He grabbed your head with both hands and started going harder. Tears started to form in your eyes, one rolled down your face. Jake noticed and took his dick out of your mouth and grabbed your face.

“You want daddy to make you feel good princess?“ all you could do is nod and Jake pushed you down in the couch. Face down, ass up. Your hands were still constrained behind you.

James fingers slid up your pissy, collecting the wetness between your legs and sticking his fingers in his mouth.

“You taste so good my love.” He leaned down to whisper in your ear, playing with your clit at the same time.

He left no time in between abs started fucking the life out off you. He made sure to leave his hand prints all over your ass, gripping your hips hard enough to leave bruises, and once you both finished he didn’t pull out therefore cumming inside if you.

Your body collapsed fully on the couch, Jake took the belt off your wrists and laid down with you.

“Did you learn your lesson now my love?” He said rubbing your back.

“Maybe.” Was all you said and crashed your lips into Jakes.

[gutsfics]

Warmest Winter

AO3 Link Fandom: Red Carpet Diaries (post-canon) Pairing: Thomas Hunt x Avalon (M!OC) Length: 801 words Rating: General Audiences Prompt: @choicesficwriterscreations Naughty & Nice prompts: “Here, let’s share a blanket.”

Summary: Thomas and Avalon are visiting Thomas' family's cabin in Canada for the holidays. Avalon isn't used to snow.

Before Thomas has even turned the car off, Avalon is out of his seat and grabbing the bags from the trunk.

“Christ, its cold,” He complains. “I hate snow, I hate snow, I hate snow!”

“Sorry, what was that? I didn’t quite hear you, maybe you should repeat yourself a few more times,” Thomas responds, taking his suitcase from Avalon.

Avalon rolls his eyes. “Just help me with these so we can get inside.”

They both slowly make their way up the driveway, careful not to slip on the ice covered by the fresh snow building up around them. Once inside, they shuck off wet jackets and snow-clogged boots and take their bags to their room.

It was much bigger than their bedroom at home, with an entire sitting area and fireplace.

Thomas begins unpacking his suitcase.

“Is everyone else gonna be fine that we took the master bedroom?” Avalon asks.

“”I wouldn’t call it the master bedroom.”

“Explain, little man.”

“Of the nine bedrooms-”

“Nine?!”

“Five of them are set up similar to this.”

“Christ on a bike.”

Thomas turns from the dresser, raising an eyebrow at Avalon. “Hmh?”

“Owning multiple homes is bizarre enough as it is, but having multiple when just one is this big is completely insane. Fucking rich people.”

That you are, Avalon.”

Avalon snorts.

“But to answer your question, there is a reason we’re here a week before my family shows up, and part of it relates to this room being a bit… nicer than the others.”

“We’re here a week early?”

“Yes. I wanted to have some alone time with you before the holidays begin and it gets hectic.”

“We couldn’t have had alone time somewhere that doesn’t get snow up to your tits?”

“Not your tits.”

“Yeah. I said yours, not a general you.”

“I wanted to give you some time to get used to the snow.”

“Thanks, but I doubt that’ll happen in a week.”

“Likely not,” Thomas agrees. He crosses the room. “Let me get a fire going, you haven’t stopped shivering since we got inside.”

Within a few minutes, the room is filled with the light and warmth of a pleasantly crackling fire.

“Better?” Thomas asks.

“A bit,” Avalon answers, huddling close to the fire.

Thomas watches him rub his hands together and hold them closer to the fire. “...I’ll be right back.”

“Mhm.”

Thomas leaves the room and heads across the ground floor to the kitchen.

Now that he had been living in what their realtor had described as a “starter home” with Avalon for the past few years, he agreed with Avalon’s sentiment that this was a ridiculous amount of space for a single family to have.

At least for the next month it would house not only him and Avalon, but his parents, siblings and their spouses, and any nieces and nephews he may or may not currently know about.

But yes, a family of six in a house this size may have been overkill.

Especially considering they only stayed here occasionally, during holidays. The house he had grown up in was bigger.

Thomas mixes milk, sugar, and cocoa powder in a sauce pan and lets it come to a boil, glad he had convinced Avalon for them to do a little grocery shopping before they arrived.

Once the hot chocolate is ready, he pours it into a teapot and carries it, two mugs and a bottle of peppermint schnapps back to the bedroom on a tray.

Avalon had changed into his pajamas while Thomas was gone and was curled up on a loveseat near the fire, his dressing gown wrapped tightly around him.

Thomas places the tray on the side table next to the couch and leans over the back of it, wrapping his arms around Avalon and kissing the side of his neck. Avalon’s skin is unusually cool to the touch. “Still cold?” Thomas asks, frowning.

Avalon shrugs a shoulder, lifting a hand to card his fingers through Thomas’ hair. “A little. Changing from my wet clothes helped.”

“Here, let’s share a blanket.” Thomas pulls away from Avalon to get a quilt from the chest at the foot of the bed. He gives it to Avalon before pouring hot cocoa and a shot of schnapps each into the two mugs.

“I didn’t know you like hot chocolate,” Avalon says as he takes the mug.

Thomas curls up against Avalon’s side, getting comfortable under the blanket. “It’s nice when the weather is right.”

Avalon nods and hums quietly in agreement. “Doesn’t get cold enough in LA.” He takes a sip. “Oh, that’s good. Thank you.”

Thomas responds by snuggling closer, leaning up to kiss Avalon’s jaw.

And with that, the two men fall into a comfortable silence, sipping their drinks and enjoying the warmth and company.

[theladyofdeath]

Engagement Pie {Elriel}

Naked Texts & Pie #5

Warning: nsfw. 18+. Dom/sub.

Written alongside @snelbz . Thank you for reading this awfully dirty mini-series that was just meant to be a drabble. (;

Azriel was about to have a panic attack.

Inside of his mind was not a pretty place to be, not that it lacked ideas of flowers and baked goods, but because it was a complete and utter mess.

All day, while Elain was gone, he had been running around like a chicken with his head cut off, unaware if he was doing everything right but sure hoping he was.

He was hoping it would be perfect.

He glanced at the clock.

He had about half an hour until she got home.

At this point, Azriel and Elain had been dating for a little over a year, and living with each other for nearly six months. Since Feyre and Rhysand’s wedding, they knew, without a doubt, that they were meant to be together.

Then again, they had always known, just had never confessed it.

Their families had been less surprised by their sudden relationship and more surprised by the state they returned to the wedding reception in, but neither of them could find it in themselves to care. They were happy, blissfully, wonderful happy and in love.

Azriel opened the oven for the hundredth time, peeking inside to make sure things were still going smoothly. The pie was still there, it hadn’t run away, but it still didn’t have that beautiful golden brown crust that Elain’s always did. Sure, he could text her, ask what exactly he had done wrong, but that would ruin the surprise. He’d done his best to keep everything a secret so far. He wouldn’t ruin it now by texting her a question he could easily ask Google.

After doing so, it looked like he had done everything right, so he let it cook longer, forcing him to wait longer in anxious anticipation.

Azriel paced back and forth, fully aware that he had everything in place. He just needed the damn pie to hurry up and get done.

Elain would be home in twenty minutes, and Azriel needed to be in place when she walked through the door.

At ten until six, Azriel looked in the oven once more. It looked a little bit better, but not as done as he wanted it to be.

He’d wait until the last possible second. It wasn’t ideal, as there were other parts of his plan that required that pie to be done and, preferably, not piping hot, but he’d make do.

So he continued to pace in the kitchen until he heard the garage door rising, signaling Elain’s arrival home.

Hurrying to the oven, he threw the door open and pulled the pie out. The second it was exposed to the natural light of the kitchen, and not the watery bulb of the oven, he knew he fucked up.

It had bypassed golden brown and gone straight to brown, but thanks to the lighting in the oven, he couldn’t tell. He swore under his breath as he laid a towel on top of the washer and set the pie on top of it, letting it cool.

He’d ordered take out from Elain’s favorite restaurant, which had been delivered just a few minutes before, so thankfully even he couldn’t mess up dinner.

Right at six, he could hear Elain’s feet climbing the wooden steps to the front porch and he quickly sat at the kitchen table and popped open a bottle of wine, filling the two glasses.

When Elain entered, her purse on one shoulder, her keys in her hand, she stopped and a slow smile spread across her lips at the display.

“Wine and Rita’s?” she asked, setting her belongings down on the counter. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

Azriel smiled as he set the wine bottle down in the middle of the table. “Nothing special. You’ve just been working so hard that I wanted you to have a relaxing night with your favorite food.”

Her smile widened as she sat across from him, but then she stilled for a moment. “Do I smell…pie?”

“No,” Azriel said, then quickly changed his mind. “Yes. It was a candle.”

She blinked once, twice and said, “Huh. I didn’t know we had an apple pie candle.”

She let it drop after that, filling Azriel in on her day. It had been uneventful, a change from her usual hectic schedule, and she was grateful for that. The past month or so, she would come home, scarf something quick and easy down for dinner, and collapse in bed, ready to do it all again the next day. Tonight, she actually had some pep in her step.

“Dinner, wine,” Elain mused, running a finger over the back of Azriel’s hand. “Did you have anything else in mind tonight?”

One of her eyebrows was raised slightly and he knew exactly what she was referring to, which yes, he absolutely did, but first, he had something else he needed to do.

“Actually, yes,” he said, standing. He leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

Her other eyebrow had raised to match, clearly showing her surprise. “Okay.”

He disappeared for a moment, and when he returned, he held a pie in his hands, dark brown crust and all. It also had a massive “X” cut into the direct center. It didn’t look like a venting hole.

Covering the bottom half of her face with both of her hands, Elain tried to stop the giggles from bubbling from her lips, but she couldn’t. “I knew I smelled pie,” she said, still laughing.

“I sort of burnt it,” he admitted, setting it down in front of her.

“I see that,” she chuckled, leaning forward to kiss him. “I’m sure it will still be delicious.”

He was about to say something when she asked, “But what is that?” gesturing to the center of the pie.

“That….” Azriel started to say something, but wasn’t sure what. All he knew is that he was a nervous mess and not a lot currently made sense. “X marks the spot.”

Elain blinked. “What?”

“X marks the spot.”

She blinked, again. “I don’t follow.”

Azriel sighed. “Pirates… When they bury treasure… X marks the spot.”

Elain’s head fell to the side. “Babe, are you drunk? Are you high? Are you alright? You’re not-.”

Azriel sighed, and reached into the pie. His hand broke the crust, and Elain was so surprised by the gesture that she jumped, and a nervous laugh escaped her. “Az, what are you doing?”

His hand came back up a minute later, covered in apple filling. “You know, I had a whole, romantic thing planned out with the pie. Pie is our thing, and it was going to be cute as hell-.” His words fell off as he opened his hand, revealing a beautiful pear-shaped diamond on a thin, rose gold band.

Elain stared, her mind taking a second to process what she was looking at. He picked up one of the napkins from their dinner and wiped the ring off, as well as his hand, before dropping to one knee from the chair he was sitting in. With his clean hand, he took hers in his. He prayed she couldn’t feel it shaking as badly as he thought it was.

“I know we haven’t been together long, El, but I love you so much. You’re my entire world and my best friend. I can’t—.”

Elain’s lips crashed into his and they went tumbling to the kitchen floor. She pulled back, just enough to see his face and breathed, “Yes.”

Chuckling, Azriel said, “You didn’t even let me finish.”

“It doesn’t matter,” she said, kissing him again. “My answer is yes. Yes, yes, yes.”

He sat up and Elain crawled off his lap, sitting next to him on the kitchen floor. He took her hand in his again. “Let me at least ask the important part, yeah?”

She was grinning like a fool, but she nodded, waiting for him to go on.

Resting the ring against the tip of her finger, Azriel asked, “Elain, will you marry me?”

“Yes,” she breathed, and a tear slid down her cheek. “Yes. Yes! Of course, I will.”

He slid the ring onto her finger with shaky fingers before her mouth was crashing into his, once again.

Azriel wanted to ask that question for so long, and now that he had, not at all the way he had planned, it didn’t even seem like it had happened.

Yet, as she flung her arms around his neck, everything seemed completely and perfectly right.

Elain leaned back and peered at the ring. It was magnificent, lovely, perfect.

She slowly looked at Azriel. “You….hid it in the pie?”

He cringed, but laughed softly. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

Her eyes went wide and she glanced at the ring again. “You didn’t bake it with the ring in there, did you?”

“No, of course not,” he chuckled, pulling her back into his lap.

She went willingly, straddling his hips and wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “Okay, good. The pie would have been inedible then.”

“I think it’s inedible now,” he scoffed, his hands gripping her hips, while his lips found her neck.

“I think I should be the one to decide that,” she said, her voice going high and breathy.

“There’s something else I’d rather eat instead,” he replied, tilting her face down to meet his as his lips crashed into hers.

Elain hummed against his mouth as she fell into the kiss. After the millions of kisses that they had shared and the constant lovemaking that had come along with being helplessly, madly in love, Azriel never grew tired of being intimate with Elain.

In fact, he couldn’t get enough of it. Every time he was with Elain, he just wanted it more and more. He couldn’t grow tired of it, ever - it was impossible.

His hands swept up her back and tangled into her hair, and she cupped Azriel’s face in her hands.

He could feel the cool metal of her ring against his cheek.

Azriel rose, taking Elain with him, and laid her down on top of the table. Her head fell right next to the pie. She couldn’t help but glance over at it.

She giggled as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close.

“Something funny?” He asked, ducking away, trailing his nose down her neck as his lips found her collarbone.

“No.” It came out as more of a breathy moan than the sigh she was meaning it to be.

“Really?” His hands gripped her wrists, unwrapping them from around him, and he pinned them above her head with one hand. “That little laugh would suggest otherwise.”

His free hand began undoing the buttons on her shirt one by one, and Elain was practically vibrating beneath him by the time he was pushing her shirt to either side of her body.

Her bra was made of nothing but lace, and he could see her pebbled nipple through the fabric. He toyed with the idea of taking it off, but his lips closed over it, the rough lace scratching against the sensitive skin. She whimpered softly, her back arching off the table to better accommodate his mouth, and when he tugged on her nipple with his teeth, the whimper became a moan.

Gazing up at her, he said, “Is anything funny now?”

Elain sucked in her bottom lip as she slowly shook her head. “No.” Azriel raised a brow. “No, what?”

Elain couldn’t help her spreading grin as pure excitement radiated throughout her body. “No, sir.”

Azriel smirked in return as he gave her his first order. “Stay still.”

“And if I move?” she asked, quietly. Since their first time, Elain learned that she liked to test her boundaries.

Azriel liked it, too - when she was naughty.

“Then I’ll stop,” he said, and slowly let go of her wrists before putting his fingers in the band of her black skirt and yanking it off. “And you don’t want me to stop, do you?”

She shook her head, watching everything he did, biting her lip. Her hands were gripping the edge of the table to hold herself in place. As he dragged her panties down, as slowly as he could, she wanted to reach out and touch him. She was nearly naked, while he was still completely clothed, but she figured that was exactly how he wanted her.

It typically was.

He was quite the tease, but Elain secretly enjoyed that fact.

Azriel took a step back from where she lay and crossed his arms as his eyes swept across her body, taking in every beautiful inch.

In response, Elain spread her legs wide for him.

Azriel took in a deep breath and nearly growled.

He loved the sight of her, longed for it, thrived on it. It made him weak in the knees, still, and he was certain it always would.

“I am amazed,” Azriel breathed, “by your beauty.”

His comment only made her spread her legs wider.

He smirked. “What do you want, sweet girl?” He trailed a finger up the inside of her thigh, getting so close to where she needed him, but not quite.

“You,” she sighed, but it sounded more like a gasp.

“I know that,” he drawled. “Be more specific.”

“Your mouth on me, please,” she replied, gripping the edge of the table harder.

Azriel smirked again as he gently brushed his thumb over her entrance and then circled her clit once. “You’re saying you want me to eat your pie?” He asked, raising an eyebrow and looking up at her face.

“Yes, sir, please.” The words were breathy and quiet and he was fairly sure she was already trembling.

Azriel fell to his knees as Elain’s head fell back in pure ecstasy. It was the anticipation, the want, the need…

The second his tongue swept between her slick folds, Elain was already on edge.

Azriel had that effect on her.

Those hands that gripped the edge of the table tightened, and Elain’s eyes fluttered shut.

He knew exactly what he was doing. He had the first time, and he sure as hell did now as he took his clit between his lips and sucked, gently.

“Az,” she breathed, fully aware that when she said his name, it sent him wild.

He took her ass into his hands and pulled her closer to him.

She could never last long when his mouth was on her. The things he could do with his tongue made her see stars and she knew this time wasn’t going to be the exception. Azriel knew it, too.

He flicked his tongue over her clit and pushed a finger inside of her. “Are you close already, Lainey?”

She nodded, feeling his breath on her sex.

A second finger joined the first, and he curled them upward. “I couldn’t hear you. I said, are you close?”

“Yes, sir, I’m so close,” she panted.

Her arms were straining and he swore he heard the wood groan beneath her hands as she struggled to keep them where they were. It was surprising she’d held on for this long. He knew how badly she longed to have her hands in his hair or even kneading her own breast, still covered in that pretty, lace bra.

“Don’t come yet,” he crooned, pressing a kiss to the top of her sex.

He was torturous.

Purely evil, and yet, Elain thrived on it. Her entire body shook as pleasure swept through her. She was so close. So very close to the edge, ready to fall into the oblivion that was being loved by Azriel.

Her body jerked, and Azriel held onto her tighter.

Elain tried to obey, and tried to stay perfectly still, even though her entire body fought against it.

Azriel’s tongue continued to dance along her sex, continued to suck on her most sensitive of parts.

“I need you,” Elain begged.

Azriel didn’t respond, he only tugged her close, sucked her harder, praised her longer.

“Az, please.” It was more or a groan than anything else and he responded by sucking her clit between his lips and pulling hard. At the teeniest press of his teeth, she began to shake, and then he began to pump his fingers in and out.

Elain shattered, crying out and letting go of the table. Her hand dove into his hair and she lifted her hips, doing whatever she could to keep his face where it was.

Azriel worked her through her orgasm and when she stilled, he stood, wiping off his face and looking down at her. She was still breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling, but that full bottom lip was caught between her teeth again as she watched him. She knew what was coming.

“You weren’t supposed to come yet,” he breathed, dragging a finger from top of her sex up her stomach and between her breasts. He reached her face and worked her lip from between her teeth. “You disobeyed me.”

“I’m sorry,” she breathed, even though she really, really wasn’t. The last thing she was was sorry.

“You’ll have to be punished now,” Azriel said, softly.

“Punished how?” Elain asked.

Azriel watched her for a moment before he said, “Turn around.”

She did as she was told, rolling onto her stomach, her ass in the air. “Is this okay?” she asked.

“Beautiful,” he breathed, and raised his hand before smacking her across her ass.

Elain gasped at the contact and had to bite her lip to keep from exploding into a fit of delighted giggles.

The sharp intake of breath was her only response, she fought to keep in the quiet cry or moan that he wanted to draw from her. She was feeling bratty tonight.

Glancing down at the ring sparkling on her finger, she knew exactly why. She got to experience this sensual rush for the rest of her life. She was Azriel’s.

And he was hers. Forever.

His hand cracked against her skin again and she had to close her eyes and bite her lip to keep from moaning.

He did it again and again, but then he suddenly stopped.

“You’re getting even more wet for me,” he breathed, dragging a finger along her center. She was unable to stop her whimper. He added, “That’s not the point of a punishment.”

He knew exactly what his spankings did to her. He loved it, and if he kept on with it, she’d be dripping all over their kitchen table.

Without warning, he picked her up, carrying her into the living room and tossing her on the couch. She bounced gently, a pleased smile on her face.

“Take off the rest of your clothes,” he ordered, pulling his own shirt over his head.

Slipping the button down off her shoulders, Elain reached behind her and unclasped her bra. She watched as Azriel removed his belt and dropped it to the floor.

She tried not to let herself feel any disappointment as he discarded the belt. He’d used that once or twice before and the unyielding, stiff leather had drawn more than a few orgasms from her as he spanked her with it.

He popped the button on his jeans and said, “Touch yourself.”

Propping her feet up on the couch, she spread her legs for him and slid her hand over her pussy. He was right. She was soaked and so, so turned on. She circled her clit with one finger. She moaned softly, “But I want to touch you.”

“That’s too bad,” he replied, his eyes settling on her sex. “You’re being punished.”

She slid her finger between her folds, teasing herself. Adding a second finger, she just barely dipped them into her entrance, but no more than her finger tips. She was so sensitive, still riding the high of her orgasm and fought off a moan as she watched Azriel watch her.

Dragging the zipper down on his jeans, her eyes tracked the motion and she stilled, waiting for him to take them off.

“I don’t remember telling you to stop,” he said, regaining her attention.

Her fingers began slow motions, yet again, but she didn’t take her eyes off of where his own hands worked at removing his denim. She breathed, “And how long will this punishment last?”

Azriel’s eyes sparked as his chest rose and fell, slowly. “It’ll end when I want it to.”

Elain nodded as her fingers slid up inside of her and she let out a soft, low moan.

Azriel licked his lips as he tracked her every movement. “Keep up the good work and I may just let you choose your own punishment.”

“I’d rather have a reward.” Her voice was soft, low, but it was shaking slightly. The anticipation got her off just as much as her own fingers did.

He paused with his jeans hanging low on his hips. She could see the waistband of his black boxer-briefs underneath. “Oh? And what would that be?”

“I want to touch you,” she said again, slipping both fingers inside herself again, deeper this time. Curling her fingers up, she reached for her g-spot, eyes falling shut when she skimmed over it. Her head fell back against the cushions and she groaned.

His approach was silent, but she felt his hand on her face and when she opened her eyes, he was standing in front of her. His cock was in his hands and he stroked it once. “You want to touch me?” He asked.

“Yes, please.” She continued to pump her fingers in and out and licked her lips as her eyes bounced between his eyes and his thick, proud length. It was just a few inches from her face.

“How do you want to touch me, Elain,” he asked, dragging a thumb over her bottom lip.

It was that tone, that deep, sensual tone of his that drove her mad.

“I want to take your cock into my hands,” she breathed, the words hitched. “Into my mouth.”

Azriel hummed, as if he was debating it. He nodded to the fingers that were pumping in and out of herself. “You can touch me when you’re finished touching yourself.”

Elain nodded, her hand moving faster as she pumped those two fingers in and out, then another, easily sliding in alongside the others.

Azriel stroked himself, slowly, again and again as he watched.

Elain’s other hand trailed between her legs and she began to circle her clit, pulling a loud moan out of herself. As her two hands worked, she drew closer to the edge, and Azriel’s breathing grew shallower.

Her words were high pitched and she was struggling to keep her eyes open as she asked, “Can I come? Please, I’m so close.”

He ran his thumb over her lip again and waited until she was looking up at him. And then he smirked. “No, baby, you can’t.”

Elain wasn’t proud of the whine that she let out, but she slowed her fingers. She didn’t withdraw them, because she knew he wouldn’t like that, but stopped circling her clit. If she didn’t, she was going to come and as fun as another punishment really would be, she wanted her reward.

“Good girl,” he crooned, tilting her chin up to look at him. She’d been staring at his cock. There was a milky bead of precum on the tip and she wanted to lean forward and lick it off.

As if he could sense her thoughts, he ran his thumb over the thick head, spreading the wetness over the length. She tried not to whine again.

“You want me in your mouth?” He asked, shifting his hips forward slightly.

“Please,” Elain breathed, nodding eagerly.

“Do you think you’ve been punished enough?”

She frantically nodded, and Azriel wondered if she even knew she was bucking her hips, searching and needing release. He loved when she got like this, so needy and begging for whatever he’d give her.

Instead of giving her what she wanted though, he crouched, taking the hand that had been circling her clit in his. Raising it to his lips, he licked the tips of her fingers. He moaned quietly. “I will never get tired of the taste of you.”

Elain whimpered softly, her other hand still pumping in and out of herself.

“Do I taste as sweet to you as you do to me?” He asked, leading that hand back to her swollen clit and stood.

She began the slow circling again and nodded, and he knew if she was incapable of speaking, she was going wild with lust.

In the quietest of voices, Azriel said, “Prove it.”

Elain wasted no time wrapping her lips around the head of his cock and lathering him with her tongue. Azriel let out a long, slow breath at the contact and when her finger slowed against her clit, he shook his head. “Don’t stop.”

Elain moaned, and the vibrations against him had Azriel’s fingers weaving their way into her hair as Elain took Azriel further into her mouth.

She continued the slow circling of her clit, but slipped the rest of her fingers from wet pussy. She reached for his cock, to wrap around what wouldn’t fit in her mouth, but he caught her hand. Her fingers were glistening, still costed in her essence, and he brought them to his mouth. “We can’t waste that,” he murmured, before sucking them between his lips one by one.

Elain’s eyes fluttered shut and she moaned softly as he released her hand and slipped his free hand into her hair as well, absolutely controlling her and the pace with which she worshiped him.

Or so he thought.

Opening her throat, Elain took him as deeply as she could, gazing up at him as tears welled in the corners of her eyes. Azriel was unable to stop the groan as he fucked her mouth and throat with no abandon, until she began to gag softly.

He withdrew himself, dropping his jeans the rest of the way, and sat down on the couch next to her. He took her face in his hands and kissed her roughly. “That’s new,” he crooned, his lips dragging down her neck.

Her laughter was sensual as she continued to stroke him. “I wanted to surprise you. I didn’t think you’d be surprising me, too,” she admitted, bringing her hand up to admire the diamond sparkling on her finger.

Azriel wrapped his hand around hers and brought it to his lips, where he kissed the back of her hand, just below her ring.

“I’m just glad you’re not asking me to wait for this again until our wedding night,” he murmured.

Elain grinned. “I don’t think I would survive the wait. I’d have to marry you tomorrow.”

Azriel’s eyes sparkled as he took her hips and pulled her on top of him. “That wouldn’t be so bad.”

Elain moaned quietly as Azriel teased her at her opening. “I don’t know. I kinda wanna make you wait.”

“That, and you want a big wedding,” he said, leaning up and trailing kisses along her throat.

“Not a big wedding,” she replied, trying to lower her hips. His grip was firm though, and she only managed another inch, teasing herself just as much as he’d been teasing her.

Resting her hands on his shoulders, she tried to rock her hips, wanting more of him inside of her. He still held firm.

His smirk was devilish when she looked up into his face. “I never said you were done being punished.”

Her mouth fell open in surprise. She squirmed and his grip on her hips tightened, his smile growing. “Az, please.”

“Hmm?” He leaned up again, capturing her lips with his and his thumb found her clit. Her body gave a jerk and her thighs burned with how hard she was trying to lower herself onto him.

Pulling away, she pressed her forehead against his. “Please… I’ll be a good girl for you. I won’t come until you tell me to. I just need to feel you inside of me.”

He nipped at her bottom lip with his teeth and released his hold on her hips.

She sank down onto him, not gently in the slightest, and moaned as he filled her in one rough stroke. She bucked her hips, not rising but needing the friction as her lips crashed against his.

It was thrilling. There was always a rush that consumed Elain’s body the moment he filled her. A spark of excitement that never grew old, never faded.

Azriel knew it, too. There was a look that crossed her face that only showed itself the moment he entered her.

It was beautiful.

Consumingly gorgeous.

Elain’s head fell back as she rocked her hips - her hips that Azriel’s fingers were digging into, yet again, but he didn’t guide her.

She did that perfectly well on her own.

With his bottom lip sucked between his teeth, Azriel’s eyes scanned Elain’s body, from her tilted back head, to her breasts at eye level, then to where they were connected.

“Better?” Azriel asked, his voice low.

“Yes,” she breathed, eyelids fluttering shut.

He wrapped a hand around the back of her neck and brought her lips to his. The kiss was not gentle, but he knew that wasn’t how she wanted it. Sure, they had sweet, soft sex sometimes, something they both adored on occasion, but nothing drove Elain wild as much as rough sex did. He had never dreamed she’d be as submissive as she was but gods, he was so glad of it. She was the other half he’d been waiting for and the fact that she was his for the rest of his life…

He growled quietly as he pressed his other hand to the small of her back and rocked his own hips up into her. She gasped against his lips and braced her hands on his shoulders as they found a rhythm that had her groaning his name.

There were very few things that pleased Azriel more than hearing his name on Elain’s mouth while they fucked. It broke him, unleashed something unearthly.

His hips thrust harder up into her, and each time he did so, his name grew louder and louder on her lips.

Azriel felt that magnificent, familiar feeling rising within him but he didn’t move his eyes from Elain. Her face was still close to his, her breath hot against his mouth. He cursed before kissing her, yet again, bringing her lip between his teeth and gently tugging.

Before she could anticipate it, he flipped them so they were laying on the couch, his body covering hers, and lifted one of her legs so it rested on his shoulder. It opened her up, allowing him to thrust harder, deeper, and she began clawing at his back. She cried out, and he groaned as she screamed his name.

His fingers gripped her chin and her lust-filled gaze found his. That hand slid between them and found her clit. The next thing he said wasn’t a request. It was a demand.

“Come for me.”

Elain did. She shattered, her body shaking with the force of the orgasm that slammed into her.

Azriel couldn’t hold on much longer, the feeling of her coating him, spasming around him, having him meeting his own end.

He came, one hand digging into the couch cushions, the other gripping her ass. His fingers would surely leave a mark.

Elain didn’t mind.

He fell onto her body, breathing heavily, sweat coating his skin. As Elain caught her breath, her arms wrapped around him.

His face was buried in her neck, and she felt his lips moving and heard him murmuring before she could understand what he was saying. But then she heard him, clearly, and she wondered how it had taken them years to realize it together.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.”

His words weren’t just a quiet praise and reminder, but also a promise, as strong as the one that she now wore on her finger.

He pulled back, his eyes finding hers, even as his chest was still heaving as he caught his breath. Reaching up, she ran a hand through his sweaty hair. “I love you, too.”

His gaze was soft as she leaned down and gently pressed his lips to hers. They stayed like that for a few minutes, slowly kissing each other, not in any hurry to start anything up again, but just enjoying the taste and feel of each other.

When Elain’s stomach growled, however, Azriel pulled back and looked at her with a raised brow.

“Work up an appetite?”

She laughed, quietly. “Maybe so.”

“Well, Rita’s is gone,” Azriel muttered, “but, there’s pie.”

Elains laughter grew louder, and even Azriel couldn’t help but smile down at her.

“It’s a little burnt, but I’m sure it tastes alright,” he went on. "Maybe."

“Pie sounds good,” Elain said, eyes bright. “Even if we can only eat the filling.”

Azriel scoffed. “That’s the best part.”

“True,” she agreed, and rolled off the couch from beneath him. “I’m going upstairs to clean up. Meet me in bed.” She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked over her shoulder. Azriel's eyes scanned every inch of her body as she said, “You bring the pie.”

Azriel was off the couch before she could finish her sentence, doing just that.