#the pairings i complain about are being complained about because i haven't blocked them yet.

[delku]

bkdk shippers are absolutely the type of jackasses to tell anyone who says their ship is ass that they're homophobic, which is hilarious because many, many people who think bkdk is ass are turning around and giving deku some other boy to futz with. myself included. this misogynist-ass series makes doing so pretty easy actually.

at this point i don't have especially strong feelings about the pairing. it's ass. i don't want to see it. but like, it doesn't really bug me the way it once did. if someone isn't making it their entire personality it's like... tolerable. i guess. barely.

i don't generally spend much of my time thinking about that pairing because it's not very good, and on the platforms i typically use it's easy to block it. getting used to a new platform where tags are tied to a very strict character limit shared by post contents themselves leads to an environment where stuff gets left untagged and well. then i end up seeing it. and then i end up thinking about it. and the thoughts are typically "man, get this shit out of my face" lol

[harmless--dreamer]

I should draw my clone squad OCs that I have along with their Jedi General. Don't get attached because all bar one are dead.

ALSO I KNOW ONE IS UNFORTUNATELY ACCIDENTALLY A CANON NAME I STOLE. I tried to Google as many of them as possible but I gave up because being a teacher is tiring as hell. Also there's like 6.2 million clones so chances are a couple of names got repeated.

The squad itself is split into a few different batches. The first set of batch brothers are Seven, Stims, Static, Base and Glint. Click joined separately after his initial batch died. The second batch of brothers were Storm, Rogue, Torch. Their other batchmates were reassigned after their first few postings. They're a small team, just them and their Jedi (then later, also, their Padawan), so no big ship or thousands of troopers- just a smaller elite squad.

Here's the squad anyway:

Commander: Seven

Sev is firm but fair. He was in a relationship with their Jedi prior to his death. It was well known amongst their squad but not outside of it. They all kept the secret. Seven is a good soldier and a better leader. He cares deeply for all of his brothers. He was the clear leader out of his batchmates and was always fascinated by the Jedi. His fascination led to a desire to work harder to be at their side.

He got close to their Jedi over time, nights spent doing paperwork or days in the med bay together. Eventually his squad realised he was into him and started teasing him, which led to their Jedi finding out. They took some time navigating the power dynamics, but eventually settled. Seven was a father figure to their Padawan and tried to keep her out of trouble, especially trouble the vode tried to drag her into. Seven had many a grey hair from his brothers antics- both him and Stims were going grey and they commiserated together. Stims would often complain that he had it worse, since he also had to deal with Seven and their Jedi being insufferable lovebirds.

Sev dies protecting his squad, his Jedi and his padawan. Not that he succeeds, because his squad (bar two and the jedi padawan pair) all die.

Medic: Stims

Stims is harsh and blunt. He takes no shit and has no time for it. He is kind, deep down, but he hides behind his outward persona of Tired Grumpy Medic. He absolutely would die for his brothers and their general and padawan. He does everything he can for his brothers and takes their health very seriously. Even if that means throwing a ration bar at their head because they haven't eaten yet today, the whole time muttering angrily about the headache they're giving him. He's honestly a massive grumpy bastard, but he's their massive grumpy bastard who loves them.

He's one of the only survivors from the attack that kills his squad, but he's presumed dead- taken as a POW by the Separatists. When he's eventually found, his Jedi has left the order, his padawan is a criminal, and only his youngest squad mate survived. The medical care he managed to apply while dying himself saved a few of them.

Assistant Medic: Storm

Storm was softer than Stims. While Stims will throw a nutrient block at your head, Storm would hand it to you and give you a short lecture- threatening to tell Stims if you don't get everything back in order. He was a regular trooper before he approached Stims asking for further med training. Stims was more than happy to have someone else to help out around the med bay. He would spoil their Padawan and got on best with the ""youngsters"" (himself, Torch and Rogue).

Demo Expert: Torch

Torch was... A little bit of chaos. He enjoyed explosions and fires and will take any opportunity to explode the clankers. He wanted to make a fire hot enough to melt the clankers. He was a bad influence on their Padawan along with Glint and Rogue. He'd make any excuse to start a fire or an explosion, often arguing for blowing a base up rather than leaving it to stand. He got drunk the easiest out of his brothers.

Stealth Expert: Rogue

Rogue was quieter but arguably the most feral of the bunch. When their general would get himself hurt doing force knows what to save their asses, he'd be the one curled up at the foot of the bed like a cat. He walked near silently and would frequently do so to scare his brothers. He was not above biting and would play dirty to win a fight. While his main skills lay in all things stealth, he was a heavy hitter and could absolutely handle the clankers. He always indulged their Padawan and would assist her with any pranks she wanted to pull. No questions asked.

Tech and Comms Expert: Static

Static buzzed constantly. Either he'd be making low grade chatter, constantly narrating his work under his breath, or his many tools would. He wasn't the most overly energetic, but when he was excited by something he would practically vibrate. He was more of a constant, low grade energy- like static on a TV screen, there and buzzing along constantly. He made the prosthetics for their Padawan and general, with the help of Click and Stims. He could hack into whatever they needed and could make whatever they needed with the help of Glint or Click. Ironically, Static was best friends with Stims because the medic said he gave him the least headaches.

Sniper and Weapons Expert: Click

Click could sometimes be rowdy and loud, despite being a sniper. On missions, he'd be serious and composed, the only sound you'd hear from him being the click of his blasters or mission critical information. Outside of missions? He was active, sometimes boisterous, and cared deeply for his family. He was one of the more tactile brothers and would often lean on the others or casually sling an arm around them. He was closest to Seven, Static and Stims. Often his work would coincide with the four of them so they naturally drifted close- despite him technically being one of the younger crew. Seven trusted him with difficult missions and would consult the trio whenever he needed advice. Click did however swear he hated children, and initially avoided their Padawan like the plague. He was a liar and they ended up getting on well- but he was more reserved around her. His voice is one of the deepest out of his squad, and when he wasn't overly excited it was fairly quiet- but full of emotion and well animated.

Heavy Weapons Unit: Base

Base was a little larger than your average clone trooper, always spending his time trying to get stronger and stronger. He wasn't the brightest bulb in the pack, but he was kind and loved his brothers. He doted on their Padawan, always willing to drop everything to help her. He's everyone's friend, always happy to help. Even if it was helping Torch set some recreational fires- though he was most often helping Glint or Stims and Storm. He did like to tease the shinies by scaring them with stories of their Jedi. One particular time when Hazard joined them, after Glint's death, he tried to scare the shiny by talking about how their general lost his arm. He also has what is widely considered the most ugly armour, since they all paint it themselves and Base isn't much of an artist.

Engineering Expert: Glint

The first to fall, Glint died prior to the mission that saw the entire squad wiped out. I wish I could say he died a hero's death, that he went down protecting his brothers like Base did, or Click, or Rogue, but he didn't. It was an unlucky shot, a stray blaster bolt catching him in the neck. There was nothing Stims could do, except heed his brother's last wishes. Glint couldn't talk, given he was rapidly losing oxygen and blood, but he held Stims hands and fixed him with such a fierce look- mouthing "look after them" desperately with tears in his eyes. Before his death, he would indulge their Padawan's every whim and was fiercely protective of his brothers. If Seven or Stims wasn't free to mediate a problem, he'd be the one.

After Glint died he was replaced by Hazard. Hazard is my partner's OC (<3). He's the only other survivor other than Stims.

[niskoo]

Burrito run

pairing: rich kid! Jake x rich kid! reader

genre: fluff, crack, bff2l! AU

warnings: food, swearing, sneaking out (??)

word count: 3k words

a/n: my dumbass posted this on my nct acc omfg

this was originally for haechan of nct for my nct acc (@daegall) but i thought i could treat you guys to hehe

networks: @enhypennetwork

You had known Jake for more than half of your lives. Thanks to both of your rich ass parents setting you two up for a playdate at the age of 12, now you have found your rock and partner in crime. You know when he's feeling down, when he wants to cause trouble for no reason, when he has an eye for someone, heck, you know when and how to get him out of any situation when needed.

Like right now, as he gives you a side glance as he talks boringly to a group of men. All they talked about was business. Jake wanted to talk about that one burrito place down the block, he wants to get out of there and go get some. He wants to get out of this stupid high class party he has no part of.

He knows you do too, he knows by the way you keep glancing at the back door by the kitchen, and how you occasionally move to each group closer to the door. You know he catches up to the plan, how he also moves from group to group, excusing himself every 2 minutes.

You politely excuse yourself from the many unknown rich aunts who just questioned your love life, giving them a very passive smile, before turning to move to another group.

You don't get to go to another group, because you're already so close to the door, and Jake approaches you.

"Why, hello there, miss Y/n."

You feign shock at his greeting, holding a hand to your chest, "My, Jaeyun, wasn't it? It's been too long!"

Your best friend nods, playing along to the small skit you two have created, "About 2 hours, I think? You've grown very beautifully,"

You flick your hand at him, nudging his shoulder not-so-gently, "Oh stop."

You bite your lip to hold back a loud laugh when Jake winces at your harsh push at his shoulder, watching as his face twists in playful anger. You can't help but thin he looks absolutely adorable, nose scrunched up and eyes narrowed in a non meaningful glare, you ought to kiss his puffed cheeks.

You shake the last thought from your mind, bringing the elegant glass of champagne to your lips, sipping lightly at the sweet and slightly sour liquid. You then take a double check around the spacious room, to see if anyone is watching.

Your mother and father were chatting at the far corner with the parents of Jay, a guy you met earlier this evening. He looked just as bored as you. Jake's parents stood not too far from your parents, greeting anyone who approached them.

This was your chance.

Quickly, as Jake was mumbling something about you growing up strongly as well, you grab his arm. He yelps in surprise, as you drag him through the back door, lightly blushing at your gentle touch at his wrist.

The back door soon slams behind the both of you, and you are met with a large yard.

"Y/n! What if someone caught us?"

Giving Jake a side glare, you start to trudge down the flight of stairs to the garden, "You were too busy complaining about my guns to notice we had a chance to escape. You're welcome."

"You're weak!"

"Am not!"

"Are to!"

You ignore the upcoming argument you could've started, taking off your painful heels. They were absolutely stunning, but stung your feet constantly. Beauty is pain, as mother says.

"Lead the way to the burrito truck you claimed to see on the way here!"

Through the many bushes, and many guards, and even more bushes, you finally make it out the the big mansion, and into the dark streets. It's 10 in the night, you hope the burrito place is still open or your only choice left is a McDonalds about an hour away or convenience store food. Not that you minded, but you haven't had a burrito since you were 18. You had it right after graduation day with one of your closes friends who you have no idea of her whereabouts now.

The last time Jake had a burrito is about last week, the first time he met another rich kid named Sunghoon. Their parents gave them a bunch of money to go spend on expensive and top quality foods, but they both mutually agreed to get cheap burritos that would probably give them a bad stomach.

Jake takes the lead, as expected, for he was the one who spotted the food truck. He took off his blazer some time ago, you don't remember when, but with his jacket thrown over his elbow and sleeves rolled up like that, you can't help but admire.

You notice every single little thing about him, his slow, rhythmic paces, occasionally kicking stray rocks on the sidewalk. You watch as his hair slightly bounces as he kicks yet another rock, and you want to pet his hair.

There was that one time when you were 16 and you had a movie night as your parents went away for some business, he had his head on your lap, you didn't mind for some reason. At some point you had started playing lightly with a few strands of his hair, but you didn't notice. The moment you softly ran your hands through his hair, you realized, and decided to keep your hands to yourself after that. To your surprise he protested against it, claiming it was very comforting. So now every time one of you come over to the other's house, you would somehow find yourself playing with his hair, like pure human instinct.

But now as you observed your best friend more, you have a different feeling running through you as you had an urge to softly play with them once more, as if it wasn't as platonic anymore. But that was absurd. you've been friends for 10 years now, why are you just feeling like this now?

Your heart jumps in your chest when you are suddenly met with Jake's eyes, shining brightly with a slight mischievous gloss glazing over them. "Can we pick up the pace please? I'm getting pretty hungry and I know you are too."

Your heart softens as he sticks his arm out, gesturing you to come next to him. You jog barefoot to his side, instantly looping your arm with his.

It doesn't take long to find the food truck Jake mentioned, just a 10 minutes from the mansion, somewhere near the center of town. You had to drive about 2 hours to get here, and so did Jake, so it's a bit strange how he knew his way around the town so easily. You guess he just is that way.

You practically drool at the smell of savory foods that lingers in the air, sucking the saliva in your mouth.

Your best friend eyes you playfully, nudging your hip with his, "See? What did I tell you? Burrito food truck!"

You don't respond, simply grunting and dragging him to the cashier to order some food.

It takes a lot of time to decide on what burrito you'd buy, there were even tacos, and weirdly, cookies and croissants. It was your dream food truck, really. In the end, you both went for the classic burrito, nothing could beat it.

There were no seats to the food truck, sadly, so you and Jake opted to sit on the curb, legs sprawled out on the road, hopefully no cars drive by.

"You ready?" Your best friend asks you, looking at you with much anticipation. You stare at your own burrito in much more anticipation, it's been 4 years since you had a burrito. You wonder how you could survive that long.

You nod vivaciously, already opening your mouth to take a bite. Jake chuckles as he watches you take your first bite, your cheeks instantly puffing out full of the contents. You shut your eyes in bliss, licking your lips for anything left on them.

As you continue to chew, you shake your head, "Shit, I haven't had anything this good in sooo long." You exaggerate, taking yet another bite of the heavenly treat.

Jake can't agree more, he just had a burrito last week, but somehow eating one with you feels different. Especially when you don't mind him seeing and pointing out the smeared food around your mouth, simply trying to search for it with your tongue instead.

Your best friend wants to cherish this moment forever, keep it deep in his heart and laugh at it in the future when he suddenly gets reminded of it, he wants to brag about it to his friends, maybe even share it with his grandchildren, he doesn't know. All he knows is that you're it for him.

You're the one he's spent all of his teenage years with, his first heartbreak, first sleepover, first drink was with you, heck, you were his first close friend!

You know so much about him, you share so much about yourself to him, he's the one you trust. He's the first person you call out to when you're down, first person you call out to in the best of your times. It amazing how much you've been through together, and Jake thinks anything is possible, as long as it's you.

Falling in love seems so much easier than ever, especially at that moment, eating a burrito instead of the expensive caviar at the party before, just with him. And nobody else.

He wants to make you his. Not just his best friend, his lover, his soul mate, his whole world. Not that you weren't already.

"What's wrong?" you suddenly ask Jake, startling him. "You nudge your chin at the burrito in his hands, "Why aren't you eating?"

Jake flushes, realizing he's been staring at you the whole time, taking a big bite of his burrito, before looking away bashfully. "It's nothing."

You grow suspicious of his actions, watching as he swallows and bites his lip shyly. You choose to leave it there, instead bringing up your parents being out of town next week.

The conversation keeps going, from one topic to the other, swerving all over the place, but that's just how it is, talking to the person you're most comfortable with.

The conversation goes on and on until you find yourself walking along the streets blindly, fiddling with the paper packaging of the burrito you ate. You also find yourself wearing Jake's shoes instead of walking barefoot, he gave to you after you complained about walking over so many rocks, and you didn't like how your heart swarmed and beat dangerously fast as he claimed it would be better if you borrowed them for the night.

Strangely enough, his blazer he took off about and hour ago now stayed on your shoulders, keeping you warm from the cold breezes of the night. All your best friend's actions made you swoon over him, and that wasn't something you would feel often. Maybe occasionally, but not everyday.

Jake doesn't know what got into him when he took his shoes off for you, or when he draped his blazer on your shoulders, or why he took your heels and held it for you. What he does know, is that he enjoys the way your lips purse and a light shade of pink dusted over your cheeks. Or how you pull his blazer tighter around your body and sub-consciously loop your arm around his again.

You two never really got to go through the proper high school experience, your parents forced you to go to a strict school with strict rules, they didn't even have celebrations.

Jake always imagines what it would be like to go to a dance, prom, maybe? Full of fun, dancing, and definitely you. You had a similar vision. Chugging down punch or soda and dancing crazily together until you both get sick and throw up in the bathroom.

Prom was like a mutual yearning for the both of you.

God, how you would kill to have a normal high school experience.

"You know," Jake starts, "this feels like I'm walking you home after prom."

You can't stop the grin from reaching your lips, giving into it and letting out a soft laugh. Softly, you elbow his side, "Corny."

There are a few laughs here and there after that, but overall just comforting silence that goes throughout the night. The crickets that echo throughout the night are your only noises, and the few cars rushing by. You two come to a stop at a random bench by a streetlamp, settling there until you realize it's time to go back to the party.

You realize it, but you just don't want to let go of the moment.

You feel Jake hook his leg under yours, swinging them together in sync as you rest and stare into the night sky. Tonight isn't that much of a pretty night, no stars, barely a moon, but that's alright, you're enjoying the most of it.

You turn your head away from the boring black sky, instead facing the mot interesting thing you find in life. Jake is staring down at your swinging legs, smiling at the sight. He fiddles softly with your fingers, caressing and tracing them as if they were one of the most precious things in the world.

Your eyes trail from your tangled legs, to your tangled hands, all the way up to Jake's face, tracing each and every detail with your gaze. You don't remember when he matured, you only remember the fluffy cheeked bowl cut Jake when you two were still middle schoolers. Now all that cheek has become more defined, especially his jaw, you can't help but admire him. He was like a piece of art. Your favorite piece of art.

For the second time that night, you focus on his hair, and ought to run your hands through them once again. To pull him into your embrace as he rests on you, to simply relax and twirl his strands around your fingers.

It seems like whenever you're staring at his hair, Jake just startles you with his eyes, still glossy, but this time they hold something different.

They admire you just as much as yours admire him.

Slowly, as if an unspoken agreement, you lean in closer to his face. His breath close to your cheek sets goosebumps trailing your body, and his touch now on your neck warms you inside.

Your eyes flit between his eyes and lips, oh those plump, soft lips you dream of. You would never admit it, but you have had many urges to crash your own upon them.

And that's exactly what you do. Though, crash isn't the right word to describe it. They press together softly more than recklessly, pulling into a soft lock, something much more than just platonic love being poured into it. Pure bliss and love are being poured like gentle and calm rivers, the ones you find clear and beautiful in parks. It runs faster as Jake tilts your head to kiss you closer, lips wrapped up in the warmth of yours. It feels like home to him.

Jake is absolutely perfect, you decide, despite all the many nights spent together breaking down, left for each other to pick the other up, it makes him perfect.

He thinks you're the most flawless thing he's ever seen, despite all the gems and crystals he sees in most parties, you're the brightest one shining, he could never find any jewel more valuable than you.

You pull away with one last soft lock of your lips, but stay close and ghost them together. You find his eyes the shining the most you have ever seen in the 10 years you have spent with him, one different emotion fluttering behind them. Love.

You surely don't feel that big of a person when you're at these big rich parties, even if everyone knew of your name. But kissing your best friend and being the one he sees, he loves, being his, you feel like you could rule the world.

You know you're his after this. How could you not? The way he breaks out into a very bashful smile when you leave one last peck on his lips, the way he holds you so close. There was no way he couldn't be yours after this.

A week later you have a very sleepy boyfriend on your couch, his head resting on your lap as you play softly with his hair. Nothing is all that different, except for all the kisses he steals when reaching up to you. And of course, the corny lines being thrown at each other as a competition to see who can come up with the cheesiest, most disgusting pick up line ever.

"I want to wrap you in my arms and make you my baerito."

"Ugh Jake that was just straight but bad! Not even funny or cheesy!"

Jake simply laughs, and wraps his arms around you just as he claimed to have wanted to, mumbling how he agreed into your forehead.

Being in his arms, you feel like you could fight everything that would try to hurt your lover, but for now you stick to the playful pokes he gives to your stomach and sides.

[bookiedoodles]

I literally get so miffed with the huntlow antis in the tags, because they seem to constantly want to justify their dislike. Maybe its because I usually ship more crack ships, so I'm not used to seeing too much hate in my ship tags, but there are so many posts about 'I don't hate huntlow, buuut…' and then have this long post about why they hate it.

Like, if you don't like the ship, or you prefer something else, that's cool. You don't need to put your damn thesis in our tag.

The ship itself is pretty wholesome and all I find on it are people posting their art and gushing about it. I'm sure we have our bad apples but its hardly a toxic fandom. I feel like the only things anti's seem to complain about is the fact that its popular and the shippers get excited over crumbs in the show. But like, just block the huntlow tag???if you don’t want to see it???

Ive been in fandoms where I have disliked the more popular pairing while shipping the less popular one, and it can be frustrating to see the ship you dislike everywhere while seeing very little love for the ship youre invested in. I get that it can be cathartic to vent about a ship you dislike, or read someone else's venting. But it costs zero dollars to tag your anti posts.

Sorry about the long rant, Your art is super cute btw!

Honestly, just in general if you have to write "I don't hate this ship, but..." then you just. Shouldn't talk about it. Or at least tag correctly and censor the ship so it doesn't end up in the tag??? It is SO easy to do. Also like???? When it comes to ships that there are zero problems with, I don't see a reason why someone needs to go so out of their way to make so many posts about WHY they feel the way they do?? I don't personally care for gold////ric, but I haven't made a single post bashing the ship. If you ship it then like. Whatever. I don't care. It has absolutely nothing to do with me and if you wanna take your crumbs and run wild with them, go nuts! So to see someone get so heated over huntlow just completely blows my mind. It's not even the fact that it's hated because it's getting more popular is whats getting to me. Cause, like, whatever. Popular ships will get disliked and there's really nothing you can do there. It's the fact that it's such a totally wholesome ship with nothing wrong with it, and yet SO MANY PEOPLE keep trying to pull problem after problem out of their asses about it. Or they keep being like "how DARE you ship them when they are *insert THEIR OWN GOD DAMN HEADCANON*". Like, dude, that's a personal problem.

And this is why I'm constantly like "if you don't like huntlow just cause you don't like it, that's fine" because I genuinely feel that way. You just don't vibe with huntlow? It doesn't align with your own headcanon and so you just don't see it? Chill, whatever. Just don't come picking fights with those of us who DO ship it because of your own feelings.

Like just. Be respectful. That's literally all we want in the end is respect. I do not understand why so many people feel so strongly against this ship and like literally whatever. Your feelings are your feelings, but if you're gonna air out those feelings then the VERY LEAST you can do is keep them out of our spaces. Please and thank you.

ALSO thank you so much for sending in this rant!! You are ALWAYS welcome to rant in my inbox!!!! And thank you for the compliment <33333

[princessdong]

 One: The Girl In Her Dreams

Masterlist

Of all the possible outcomes of having a human in her house, Joy would've never thought that this one would be the one. After you left the house with Jiu, who seemed more than happy to get out of there, you hadn't left her head.

She could still see your eyes, never quavering with fear, or showing anything but the utmost disinterest, and only to be replaced by fury. Your eyes were thunders after she let go of your throat, and she was sure that you were going to hit her, she even braced herself to it, but nothing came. She even let herself not move a muscle when you practically mocked her by not believing her true self.

Yet, the fact that you were daring enough to get into an apparent abandoned house, and go as far as to explore it, with no regard for who might be in there, it made you so fascinating in her eyes that she couldn't stop thinking about it.

In her whole life, every encounter with a human had two ways: Either they were completely scared that they could've piss their pants, or completely turned on by the idea of having a vampire sucking their blood. But you didn't. And she had to find you, before you consumed her brain entirely.

That's why she, for the first time in two centuries, she got out of the house for a reason that wasn't feeding herself. She assumed that you had taken the ferry back to Mokpo, as she could hear Jiu groan at the fact that they had to get into the ferry so early, and only that stopped when you told her that she could get breakfast at Mokpo. In that moment, those were the only things she needed to launch herself into the quest of finding you. But, as the ferry moved, she seemed to remember that she was not aware if you were in Mokpo, or if you flew out of the country, or even if you were alive. After all, it's been a week.

Joy quickly remembered why she wasn't out of her house in two thousand years, and it was because of the noisiness. She should've asked Yeri to perform a locator spell on you, or get someone to find you, but she was impulsive, and she was out there, in Mokpo's port, not knowing what to do, where to start. Of course, she had her whole immortality to search for you, but you weren't immortal.

Should she get into Seoul? Should she start searching there? Should she be afraid that you were in another country? She didn't knew. Plus, all those people were making her uneasy, she could hear them all, and smell their blood, even hear their heartbeat. It was a mess, she was getting overwhelmed, but her efforts were in not pouncing into some human. She was no rogue vampire, she was four thousand and something of years, and she had more control in her than a baby vampire.

Among the madness of the busy port, she heard something that she needed to hear.

“Jiu! You should stop from going with Y/N to those places! You can't keep up like this.”

She turned around, trying to search for the voice, and the girl she saw with you. There she was, with her purple hair falling from her shoulders, wearing something so simple as a shit and a pair of jeans. Next to her, there was a girl, with dark brown hair, and they were holding hands. She started to get closer, trying to listen, and to think how to get them to tell her location.

“I know, Jagi, but I don't wanna let her go all alone, she might get in trouble one day. And she's my best friend.” Joy heard Jiu say, and she smirked, knowing that you had been face to face with trouble, if she was up to it.

“But then you get all scared the days after. And then you drag me to make sure that the house doesn't have anything strange, at day.” The other girl complained, and, although she understood that they were talking about her house, it could be a great opportunity to have some interrupted alone time with you.

“Uh, excuse me, do you know, by chance, where it's the house of Y/L/N Y/N? She's, uh, tall, has no fear of getting into haunted places...” She said, trying to sound like she was not trying to find a complete stranger. “I'm an old friend of hers, and, I came here to surprise her, but you know, since she's gone to university, and her parents moved...”

She hoped that they either didn't knew your parents, or your parents had moved somewhere else, as she didn't have any idea of who were your parents, or if it was even truth what she said. Luckily for her, it happened that you parents did actually moved to a more secluded place in the outskirts of Seoul... But it was a year ago.

“You really haven't seen her for that long, huh?” Jiu chuckled, but she understood. If it wasn't because of her always coming to your home unannounced, and your yearly tradition of getting into haunted places. “She lives in Seoul, do you have your phone? I can show you on Google Maps.”

She was aware of what Google was, and what a phone was, but all thanks to the newborn vampires, or rookies, as she liked to call them, but she did not come to contact to such frivolities of the human world. Or anything from the human world.

“It's dead” She simply said, and the pair seemed to understand right away.

“To the old way it is then” The other girl said, and then started to explain that you were in Seoul, the direction, how to get there, of course, not saying the obvious part that Joy had to take a train, taking as the old vampire was an old friend of yours that had lived in Seoul.

After all, you hadn't been out of the city long enough to make friends.

And that fact was just hanging above Joy's head like the rock above Tantalus head, threatening to fall in any second. But she wasn't one to be intimidated, so she left after thanking, and biding goodbye. She could easily compel someone to show her the directions to Seoul, as Korea had changed so much in so little.

Last time she had been in the mainland, she traveled on carriages, with horses carrying it, and boats had people to row. Now they all had something inside that carried them. If Chanyeol saw her, he would be probably rolling in the floor laughing. She couldn't let herself fall in the only quest that she had, and she already had the needed information about you, now only had to get there, somehow, some way.

Lucky for her, being a vampire comes with tricks, tricks that she had mastered during the monstrous time he had been a vampire, with the help of those humans who would become her food, only to get rid of that awful guilty feeling of not having a chance at feeding from any other thing, and causing pain to the human.

She make sure to be as far away as she could from the pair that she found out, and walked to a deserted street, where there was only a man who seemed to work at the port.

“Uh, excuse me, Sir.” She said, bowing once the man looked at her.

When she had his complete attention, and he was close to her, she flashed her eyes red, and the man looked at her like his life would end if he didn't.

“I need you to instruct me how to get to Seoul. You must accompany me on my journey until I reach said city.” She compelled him, and the man could only nod before starting to walk away, being followed by the vampire.

Joy then found herself getting into a train station for the first time. Her, who hadn't been in a train in her whole life, wasn't sure if the iron cage would be able to get her to Seoul, or if the cage was actually something else, and the compelling had failed. She was scared, but she asked the man how it worked.

It was then when she learned that humans didn't even know how things worked, not even those who were born in the century where all of that already existed. But he could explain that it was a mode of public transportation, where everyone, not caring about the social status of the one who was sitting next to them.

That led her to think about who she was now in the world. She had been married into the Joseon family, so that mean she was a princess, or she had been. And she came from a rich family, didn't that meant anything now? She was, by law, the princess now, as her husband had been killed right in front of her eyes. Not that she had cared anyway.

But how did she fit in that world? Did she wanted to? No. She didn't wanted to fit in that awful human world, she didn't wanted to have any contact with the human world unless it was seeing you. She hadn't tried to seize the crown after all those years because she didn't have the slightest interest in ruling Korea, or any place that had humans as its residents. She could be a clan leader, that much she would like, but having contact with humans? Just this once, to get rid of whichever spell or trick you put her under, but that was it.

That was why she accepted to sit in one of those communal seats, next to a man that wore common clothes. The man she compelled was not seating, but was standing next to her. Joy didn't cared to ask, neither try to convince the man to sit, as he was just another pawn in the chess game of her life.

The train from Mokpo had been a new experience for Joy. Nothing had moved as fast as it did when she was human, as horses can only run at certain speed. Plus, she got to see how Korea had improved itself to keep up with the world. The large blocks of glass and iron, who she later knew it was used for work, and some other less interesting-looking buildings, where the people with less money lived.

The cars that she saw in the streets, things that she wouldn't even imagined, and the streets, every single one was paved. In her times, there weren't like that.

Everything was new to her, and people sometimes looked strange, like that one who had a furious pink hair, and another who had an iron ball in their face. They didn't dressed like they did four thousands years ago, but that wasn't a new. Even herself was dressing different than how she would've done on her human life. She wasn't used to wear short skirts, no matter how long she had been trying to wear them, and she wasn't even sure of how she felt with shirts that didn't even got to her waist.

Fashion nowadays is like that, Chaeyoung had told her before. Even though Chaeyoung was almost as old as her, she had been a little more into the human world as Joy was. But, she was also more ruthless when it came to them, so the dark haired girl wasn't sure of how much she could count on the younger one.

The train journey had come to an end before the vampire could even make her mind grasp into the whole new world. And even then, when she and her companion got down of the train, she couldn't believe how much the world she knew had changed. Even Seoul had become unrecognizable.

The five grand palaces were nowhere to be seen, and they were supposed to be so magnificent that everyone would turn their heads to watch them. The people walked fast in the pavement, mostly surrounded by buildings so tall that Joy had to look up finding some of them lost in the clouds.

“What happened to my birthplace? Why is Seoul like this?” Joy lamented, still looking how the concrete took upon the most beautiful city she had ever seen.

“This is not Seoul, this is Cheongju. We have to take yet another train to get to Seoul. Mokpo is really far away from the capital. Can I ask why didn't you take a plane? Is faster, and easier.” The man, still under compulsion, asked.

“What is a plane?” Joy looked at him, frowning.

“Don't you know what a plane is?” He asked once again.

“I may know what is the thing, but not by its name” She answered.

“Oh, uh... The iron birds?” He answered unsure, as he didn't knew how to describe it to a completely unaware person.

“Oh! I see them in my backyard! They go really far in the sky!” Joy enthusiastically said, as she found herself always marveled at that particular invention.

“Yeah, those. You could've taken them to Seoul, and it would've been faster.” He divulged, and Joy nodded absentmindedly.

“But I didn't, maybe next time. Now, we have to go, another train is awaiting for us” Joy declared, already walking in some direction she wasn’t sure it was the right one.

“Uh, ma’am, your going in the wrong direction. Let me lead” The man cautioned, waiting for Joy to get back to a safe distance before starting to walk in the opposite direction.

The second ride didn't got joy as excited as the one before, but as the sun slowly started to set, she centered herself into asking as much as the human could answer. Of course, there were things that the man didn't knew profoundly, and it left Joy even more curious.

This time, they got quickly in Seoul, as the ride wasn't too long. Once the vampire got there, she smiled. She was finally going to be able to see you, and discover what had you done to her.

“Quickly, ma'am, we're really close to your destination, I bet you wanna get there as soon as you can” The man said, walking out of the station.

And it was then when she realized how it was already night, and that he must have family that was waiting for him back home, and that probably won't see him until the sun came up, if he was lucky.

“Just inform me how to get there, and I will do so. You probably family to go to.” She compelled him, and the man nodded.

“Just get into one of those yellow cars, and you pay them to get to your destination. Do you have money? Or anything to pay them?” The man asked, still not getting out of the compulsion.

“Yes, I do, I'm okay now, I still have the address, you may go now, I hope you have a safe trip.” She bowed to him, and he then walked away.

Joy walked to a taxi, sighing, and gave him the direction of your home. He didn't spoke, and Joy didn't spoke either, so she was just thinking about what she would do when she got there. Truth is, she had no idea. She threw herself to the idea of getting to you, to get her peaceful mind back, but she had no idea of how to do so. She was simply out of her mind, with her always so calm and collected now reduced to a reckless nothing, She couldn’t believe it, the great Park Sooyoung, the once heiress to an empire, acting like some lowland person.

But, a part of her knew that that one Park Sooyoung had died long time ago, with her humanity. She wasn’t the great Park Sooyoung, she was now Joy, Park Joy, if it pleased the crowd, and those were two different girls, they had to be.

Her predicament was cut short by the driver, who had made the car stop, indicating that she had arrived the destination, and demanding to be paid. Truth be told, Joy had not eaten since the morning, and she had been kind enough to spare the man who traveled with her because he had endured the endless questions from the girl for a long time, but this man didn’t earn her kindness, so he wouldn’t have the same fate as the prior one.

“Actually, I’m going to be the one rewarded”

The night had finally come for you, and with that it meant for you to get back into your apartment to have finally some unhealthy amount of hours of sleep, only to get up and get back into your daily routine. Being an university student does that to people. And you would’ve dozzed off in the couch, or even make a zombie walk to your bed, if it wasn’t for those eyes in the dark. Those red eyes, following your every move since you got inside the house. Those eyes that had been engraved in your mind ever since you saw them for the first time in Jeju.

That thought seemed to get ridden of your sleepy state. That island was too far away for her to be there, it was impossible for her to be there. But as much as you wanted to deny her presence, those red eyes were moving, until slowly but surely started to be part of a face, that face that you were not able to forget since you were there.

“Joy.”

“Well, hello there. I though that I would have to wait for you the whole night”

[phoenix-downer]

Hello! I haven't played KH III yet but I plan to. I have come across some really hateful posts on tumblr and even twitter about Sora and Kairi being together. It appears some people are really upset that Sora and Riku didn't become a thing and have downplayed Sora x Kairi's relationship as something as forced and not having chemistry. I had no idea this was even a thing. Can you tell me where this hostility came from? I thought it was obvious that they had feelings for each other.

Hello! Thanks for the ask! There’s a lot to examine here, but I’ll do my best to try to tackle the whole issue with tact and empathy. Light/very vague spoilers for K/H/3, E/ndgame, and F/M/A follow (with slashes so they hopefully don’t show up in the tags).

First of all, I’m so sorry you’ve stumbled across those kinds of tweets and posts. If I could, I’d shield everyone from having to deal with such hatred and negativity about something they enjoy. Doesn’t matter what you ship; no one deserves to deal with that level of toxicity. 

Imagine going into a room and hearing people talk loudly about something you love, talk about how much they hate it and how much it sucks. Doesn’t make you feel very welcome, does it? But that’s exactly what’s happening here - you’re not the only one who’s noticed this. I have had to block or mute so many people because of the kind of bashing you describe. People purposely tagging their hate so that fans can see it, saying nasty things and picking fights in a way that makes you wonder what they get out of being so cruel and vicious. 

I’ve seen it so much that I’m extra sensitive to it now too; I block much more quickly than I did in the past. And I would advise other people to do the same. You don’t owe anyone access to your social media. They’re not entitled to your time or energy, either. You don’t owe it to them to read their hate. By blocking them, you take away part of their audience, you take away their attention. And the thing is, they want that attention. They want to make other people angry and miserable because they’re angry and miserable. And you don’t have to give them the satisfaction. 

Sadly, because twitter and tumblr have such poor moderation, no one running these sites is doing much to stop these people. In fact, the platforms even encourage that kind of behavior, because the loudest people get the most attention. So that encourages and emboldens the kind of nasty behavior you’re seeing.

Now, this is not to say there is never room for criticism, because there is, but that is a very different thing from what you’re describing, which is plain old bashing. Criticism and critique are offered in the hope that something will improve; bashing is done to express pure vitriol, and it isn’t productive for anyone. It might feel good in the moment, but in the end it just leaves people bitter and empty. 

There are plenty of people critiquing K/H and how the games went and how the various character arcs unfolded and how the relationships developed, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Shutting down all criticism isn’t healthy; it should be allowed and encouraged, as constructive criticism leads to healthy dialogue, both with other fans and with S/quare E/nix. And Square has listened to fans in the past; they’ve fixed issues with gameplay that occurred when 1.5 and 2.5 were ported to the PS4 and converted to 60 fps, for example.

Neither is there anything wrong with venting to a close friend in a private setting - DMs, PMs, on your personal blog or twitter account with the ship you’re criticizing censored somehow so that everyone who likes it doesn’t have to stumble across your venting. Heaven knows I’ve had to vent a lot to stay in the fandom without lashing out. The issue is when someone thinks it’s okay to force their anger and negativity onto other people who don’t want to see it or hear it. 

So the question is, why are we stumbling across such strong feelings? Because it’s clear people feel pretty strongly about all this. 

I don’t think there’s an easy answer as to why this is happening, but I’ll take a shot at explaining what might’ve happened all the same. I’m sure if you asked someone else, they might give you a different answer, and it’s worth getting multiple perspectives. This is just my two cents, and naturally, it’s going to be biased towards my experiences and preferences. 

The shipwars in the K/ingdom H/earts fandom have been nasty for years. From what I can gather, they got really bad when KH2 was released, though I’m sure there was probably drama before then. S*kai fans and S*riku fans did not see eye to eye on how that game went, and it’s all been downhill ever since. People on both sides have been mean and nasty, I’ve seen them be nasty, hurling insults and slurs and accusing each other of awful things to the point that the question of “who started it” is pretty much moot at this point. A more productive question would be, “how can we end it and get along, or at least start treating each other better?” 

Now, since I ship S*kai (obviously), I’ll share why this is such a touchy subject for me personally. I’ve been in fandom for a while now, and something I’ve noticed is just how much fans tend to hate female characters because of sexism and internalized misogyny.   

I was in the M/C/U fandom before this, and Sh*ron’s actress got death threats around the time C/ivil W/ar came out from angry shippers. And then P*ggy’s actress has likewise been harassed after E/ndgame came out by, again, angry shippers. I was a big F/M/A fan back in the day, and W*nry got so much hate from, you guessed it, angry shippers. I remember a friend back then rolling her eyes and bashing W*nry, and when I asked her why she hated her, she couldn’t really give me a clear answer other than that she was “whiny.” 

Heaven forbid a female character not be completely perfect. 

Over and over, I saw this pattern repeating. A female character gets hate because there is a popular alternate pairing that she “gets in the way of.” Even before I had the vocabulary to talk about it, the hatred just struck me as very gendered. I never saw that level of hatred for any of the male characters unless they were written to be hated (hello Shou T*cker). And I was likewise harsher on female characters than on their male counterparts. It took me years to realize what I was doing and to try to put a stop to it. 

So then I came to the K/ingdom H/earts fandom with all that background and baggage, dealing with years of people hating characters I liked and looked up to and identified with, and I saw the same thing happening again. Yet another female character getting nasty hate because of her gender, because she dared to like a boy who was shipped with another boy. Because she dared to fall in love. How dare she have feelings, how dare she be feminine, how dare she wear pink and have a flowery Keyblade. How dare her strength of heart be stronger than her physical strength. There is only one kind of strength that matters, and it’s how hard you can kick someone’s ass (wrong, wrong, wrong, and one look at the whole power of friendship thing this series revolves around would tell you that). 

How dare K*iri not be an instant expert at fighting, which is cruel and ironic because if she was an instant expert at fighting, everyone would be crying Mary Sue. How dare she sass and tease S*ra, she’s such a bitch. Oh, she doesn’t tease him as much in K/H/3 and is more gentle and supportive because he’s going through hell and nearly loses everything and she knows he needs her support now more than ever? She’s a complete pushover! 

See what I mean by how hard people are on female characters? K*iri can’t win no matter what she does. She could have the best character arc ever post K/H/3 and people would still find something to complain about. That’s not to say I don’t have issues with how she’s written, I just think the criticisms against her tend to be way overblown. There aren’t enough discussions about how she could improve moving forward (though I have seen them, and thank you to those of you who do have them!), instead people just write her off completely as useless and worthless and want to improve her character by… dropping her out of the story completely (and yes, I’ve run into someone who actually thought this would be a good thing and always felt the need to talk about it, and it absolutely drove me up the wall). 

And worst of all, she can’t win because S*ra fell in love with her. Really, it’s ironic that she gets as much hate as she does for something S*ra did. She had no control over S*ra falling in love with her, and yet she is absolutely despised by people because he did. She isn’t “good enough” for him apparently, whatever that’s supposed to mean.  

I share all this to explain why I was so sensitive to the issue coming in. I saw the same thing happening I’d experienced time and again and I was so exhausted. So tired of it. I didn’t want to deal with it again, and I was on my guard right from the start. Especially because it’s so normalized in online KH communities to bash K*iri and S*kai. The major ones, too, with lots of people and a wide range of (or lack thereof) of shipping preferences, not just dedicated shipping groups. Try to go an entire discussion without seeing it come up… it’s a lot harder than you might think. 

At first I tried to be patient and understanding. Other people have different tastes, and I wanted to be understanding of that. But after years of watching the bashing happen, my patience ran thin. I was sick of seeing it enabled in major K/H communities, sick of seeing mods refuse to put a stop to it, or worse, low-key join in with the bashing, sick of having to put up with so much negativity when all I wanted was somewhere to discuss something I enjoyed. Some people seemed almost gleeful, almost eager in their bashing; any time K*iri was brought up, they felt compelled to express their hatred for her. They were more obsessed with her than her actual fans were; felt more passionately (albeit negatively) about S*kai than some actual S*kai shippers did. 

When I reached that point, the point where I was tempted to be negative and snappy and rude, I knew I couldn’t engage with certain people anymore. So I stopped trying. I searched for S*kai fans here on tumblr and stuck with them. I didn’t want to add to an already tense situation, and thankfully, there are other people who feel the same way (but more on that later). 

And on the S*riku side of things, some of them have shared that they have been told nasty homophobic things for shipping S*riku. And for many of them, I’m sure S*riku is a way of expressing their identity, a way of exploring their feelings and expressing them in a safe, welcoming way with fellow fans who get what they’re going through. Representation has gotten better in recent years (though it still has a long way to go), but back when the K/H games were first coming out, things were different, and people had to take what they could get from canon and run with it if they wanted to see more content that represented them. 

I’ve also seen a few people say that certain S*kai fans went out of their way to message them and rub what happened in K/H/3 in their faces. That kind of gloating is bound to upset anyone, yikes. Canon has become the new gold standard for shipping in the last decade or so, and it has sadly been weaponized in the ever-nastier ship wars, when really, a ship’s value shouldn’t be based on how “canon” it is but on the joy it brings to people. 

So yeah, we have a situation where enough people on both sides were treating others poorly that everyone got defensive, because how could you not when people keep attacking something you love, especially if you feel strongly about it/associate it with your identity? And that made people more likely to lash out, and when they did, people got even more defensive, and the cycle repeated, over and over and over again. 

And you know how I mentioned I sought refuge with likeminded fans? I think that happened all over the fandom. People seek out those who will support them and support their beliefs and form identities and communities based around them… and that’s a double-edged sword.

On the one hand, it’s great to get so much support, especially if you’re seeking refuge from a particularly nasty ship war. Having a safe place to vent and unwind and finally get to talk about what you love without fear of getting hate over it is awesome.

On the other hand, things like echo chambers, confirmation bias, groupthink, and the false consensus effect flourish in those kinds of situations. If all you hear is that XYZ pairing must be canon or will be canon in a future game from the group of people you’ve surrounded yourself with, and everyone enthusiastically agrees because everyone ships the same thing you do and of course no one is going to rain on that parade, it can come as quite a shock when a new piece of canon comes out and doesn’t align to your expectations. Especially if you’ve spent years expecting canon to align with your expectations. 

We lose something when we can’t engage in healthy dialogue with people who disagree with us. Our perceptions get warped, our memories might even get warped, and what we could’ve sworn was canon… we might be surprised to see wasn’t, when we revisit the source material with a more critical eye or listen to someone who sees things differently than we do. 

But how can we have that healthy dialogue when there’s been so much bad blood? How can we listen to each other when there’s no trust? It’s nearly impossible, so instead we reinforce the beliefs and ideas our own communities already hold fast to, and the cycle continues. We draw lines in the sand separating “us” vs. “them” and don’t give each other a chance. Not only does this alienate people on opposite ends of the shipping spectrum, it also alienates multishippers because they’re considered “traitors” to both sides, and that is an uncomfortable place to be. 

I think that’s why you find the whole thing so jarring. I’m guessing you might not be as heavily involved with the fandom as I am, and have thus been largely immune from the perils of echo chambers and confirmation bias. So for you it must seem really weird that something that seems clear to you is so contentious to other people. I don’t say this to throw shade at anyone, because I know the same thing would’ve happened if the pairings had gotten switched around. It’s more of an observation of a phenomenon I’ve seen happen over and over again throughout the years. 

So all of that is to say, things are tense because of all these backgrounds and experiences and histories people bring into the fandom. No one exists in a vacuum, and things were already tense before K/H/3 even came out. K/ingdom H/earts has been such an important part of many people’s lives and growing up experiences that they feel a deep connection to it and almost a sense of ownership of it. It’s a shared story, a shared experience. It belongs to all of us, in a way, and yet it’s still N*mura’s baby.

And that’s where we run into more issues. How much say should fans have in a work of art? Does the creator get the final say in interpretation, or should she accept that once her creation has been released into the world, it’s up to other people to interpret what she meant? There are no easy answers to these kinds of questions, and they’re widely debated and discussed (see: the whole death of the author debacle). 

However, while I think feeling a sense of ownership and investment in a piece of art is totally fine, it crosses the line when it gets into the realm of entitlement. By this I do not mean asking for more representation, because that is a perfectly good thing to ask for; I mean demanding that the creators cater to your whims… or else. I mean contacting people who worked on the game on twitter and demanding they change the story to make it “right.” I mean directly telling one of the VAs you want her replaced because you thought she did a bad job. And yes, I am talking about actual stuff I’ve seen happen in this very fandom. All of that has also left me with a bad taste in my mouth, and other people I’ve talked to have felt the same. 

That being said, shipping in and of itself is not the problem. For every nasty tweet and bashing post out there, there are plenty of kind and good people who are just there to enjoy their ships. Lovely artists and talented writers and skilled gif makers and editors creating a wealth of beautiful content for something they love. People who would never harass others for their shipping preferences and are disgusted by those who do. Unfortunately, they’re not the ones getting the attention, and they’re probably not the ones you’re going to run into if you ship a different ship, as they tend to stick to their own spaces out of courtesy and respect. 

This means that the people you are more likely to run into are the ones who want to pick fights. The ones who bash and stir up drama and tell people to kill themselves for shipping XYZ. While there are plenty of people being cruel and nasty and toxic, there are good people in the fandom too. Kind, caring people who will see you as a person first and not an XYZ, even if they don’t agree with you on everything. They’re quiet(er), because kindness isn’t usually flashy and showy, but they’re here. You just have to know how to find them.   

Thanks for the ask! I tried to answer this as fairly as I could, based on my observations and things I’ve been stewing over for a while now, so I hope it sheds more light on the situation. 

[shawnpetermuffins]

I Miss You

A/n: I hope this is good because I put this off for so long wanting to do it justice. And this is based very loosely off I Miss you.

Summary: you two broke up recently, and it's not sitting well with Shawn, even though he's the reason you broke up.

Requested by @it-isnt-in-myy-blood: Hi, I recently listened to the song 'I Miss you' (Clean Bandit, Julia Michaels). Maybe you could write a fic based on the song, angsty but with a fluff ending? Thank you... ❤️

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Kinda_yourname

2,158 likes

Kinda_yourname Cabo sunsets >>>> anything else

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It may have only been a week, but I'm missing it here! 😭

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I shut my phone off and toss it to the end of the bed. I should have been with her on that trip, but tour got in the way. I got in the way. It's crazy to think that if you asked me three weeks ago, I would have said that my girlfriend and I could overcome any obstacle thrown at us. But ask me again a week later, and I would tell you I was wrong. That being away from her for months at a time was too much for me and I broke it off because I thought it would be what was best for both of us in the end.

Now ask me if I still believe that.

I don't.

I haven't told anyone about us yet. I mean, everyone probably suspects because there haven't been Amy preshow FaceTime calls for good luck, and I'm not texting like a madman during dinner or when we're on our way to the venues. And I know she hasn't said anything to anyone either. How? Because for one, she hasn't blocked me on any social media - I know, I've checked at least ten times just within the last two hours. And two, she hasn't deleted the three pictures of us that she has on her Instagram. They're still there for everyone to see, me included.

Now my fingers are hovering over the keyboard and I'm staring at her name on my phone which is still My Love 😍, and I'll probably never change it. Because she is my love, and to strip her of that title because I'm an idiot just isn't fair.

Hey... I miss you

I type and backspace and type and backspace at least ten times. Because I want to text her. I want so badly to text her, but what if she doesn't want to hear from me? I wouldn't blame her if she didn't want to. I was the worst. Breaking up with her over the phone, no less because I was hurting being away from her. Never once did it occur to me that, yeah, she was hurting too. Or maybe she's with someone else. Maybe she's found somebody new. I want her happy, sure. But I selfishly still want to be the one that makes her happy.

Y/n I miss you.

I delete it one last time and open my photo gallery. I have an album saved for photos of us. Photos that I never got to post because she wanted to keep us as private as possible without being a secret. Which is why both of us only have 3 photos of each other on our Instagram. One for our six months, a year, and a year and a half. Two more months and we would have had a fourth picture.

I'm swiping through the photos landing on one I took of her when we were flying back to Canada after our first trip together. We're on a private jet because this was before we went public with our relationship. Andrew made sure that we weren't seen together in the airport or anything. She's sitting in the seat across the aisle from me, legs up to her chest, earphones in, head resting on her knees as she smiles brightly at me. There's another one of us curled up together on this tiny chair in a green room in the UK that Andrew sent me. She's literally curled into a ball on my lap, sleeping peacefully and my legs are spread in front of me, arms wrapped tightly around her body, head resting against the back of the seat.

The next one Brian took. We were at my place for a very impromptu new years party. It was just gonna be me and y/n, but she insisted we invite the guys over. And we did. It was one of the best nights of my life. We're watching the ball drop, with her in my lap, arm around my shoulder. I have one arm behind her back, the other on her thigh. I think Brian knew something was going to happen because at ten seconds to midnight he pulled his phone out and captured out first new years kiss. She's holding my face and I'm practically leaning her back against the couch. It looks like I'm seconds away from crawling on top of her, and it be honest, I probably was. She's just too perfect for me to resist.

Then there's one that Josiah took of us just a few months ago at the studio house. I had y/n on the kitchen counter, she was in these jean shorts that I loved her in and a button up that she'd stolen from my suitcase. Not that I was complaining. It looked far better on her than it did on me. I stood between her legs, my hands on her sides, slipping under the shirt a little bit, leaning her hips exposed. Not that either of u cared with her fingers threaded in my hair as casually as they were. My face is blocked by her figure, but there isn't a doubt in my mind that I was smiling entirely too wide standing between her legs.

The video that follows knocks the breath out of me. She giggling like crazy, but the camera isn't on her, it's on me. On my back, more specifically. She laughs even more when I wince at the feel of her fingers on my red, raw skin that is now home of her fingernail scratches.

"Baby? What happened to your back?" She asked, amused.

"Don't know," I said, turning to face her, my cheeks still holding a slight blush. "But I think the real question is, what happened to your neck, missy?" I pluck the phone from her hands and turn the camera to her where she's trying to cover her face. I manage, however, to take her hands in my free one and the camera focuses on the flourishing bruises that litter her beautiful neck, my favorite place to rest my head.

I close my eyes, the memory of that night filling my mind. Watching her come down from her high, my face still buried between her legs. The weight and cold touch of her hands as she pulled me up to her, into her, because she needed me closer. I can hear myself murmuring the words 'I love you' all over her skin, still remember the way her back arched when I hit the right spot again and again and her finger ran down my back over and over, once more and she probably would have drawn blood. And I may not be home, but I can smell her on the sheets, that constant aroma of warm vanilla penetrating my nostrils. God, do I miss her.

I'm only making it worse for myself by doing this, I know that. But I should feel bad. I lost the greatest thing in my life and I didn't need to. So I got back to our messages, but instead of going to type a new one, I scroll through, reading through our old texts. There's countless paragraphs of us professing our love for each other. Lots of random pictures sent, most from my side. There's conversations about getting a home together, and a dog. And her telling me how much she loves my family and me telling her how much they love her, how much they ask about her. It's all hitting me too hard right now.

And it doesn't help that im literally sobbing at 2 in the morning, in Paris. The city of love. The place she told me was her favorite trip to ever take with me. Where we stood atop the eiffle tower and I gave her a promise ring, a ring that said I would love her and keep her forever. A promise ring that was now probably in the ocean in Cabo because I tore us apart so easily.

I sit up suddenly, struggling to catch my breath. It takes a few minutes, but I'm able to pull myself out of this empty bed that would only be comfortable with y/n laying next to me. I'm scrambling through the room, picking up the pair of jeans I threw off my body earlier and slipping back into them. I find a torn work out shirt in the bottom of my back and push my head and arms through before throwing my youth hoodie over my already overheated upper body. My passport is sitting in my guitar case, and I grab both things without a second thought. My suitcase trailing behind me.

It's difficult booking a flight and carrying a suitcase and guitar all at once, but I get along just well enough and adjust myself in the lobby while I wait for a taxi. I don't text Andrew until I've made it to the airport and am in my seat on the plane, ready for take off.

Emergency... had to fly home. Promise to make it back in time for the Paris show.

And I turn my phone off before he can text or call me back. Because there isn't a damn thing that he could say that would keep me there in a city that's meant for lovers, when my lover is across the world instead of laying in my arms the way she should be.

I know I shouldn't be doing this. I know there is someone out there who is better for her. Someone who isn't constantly on the move. Someone who can come home to her every night and help her make dinner. Someone who can cuddle her until she falls asleep when she's having a particularly bad day. I know there's someone who can do those things.

But I also know that he won't love her the way I do. He won't know all the little things that I do. Like how she only uses a blue toothbrush. Always has. And he won't notice the tiny scar that she has on her right middle finger from when we tried to make dinner together one night and she cut herself. He probably won't know that she wakes up at 3:34 every single night, because she hasn't been able to sleep fully and soundly through the night since she was four years old. And he'll mess up the way she likes her tea, using tea bags instead of leaves. (She like the herbal taste that you get when you use the leaves. And she likes when you do two scoops of them, and two scoops of sugar, but just cane sugar, the rock sugar makes it too earthy. And of course, she drinks it on ice because she hates burning her tongue with hot drinks.)

I'm thinking way too much as I get off the plane, reluctantly turning my phone back on only to see texts from just about everyone I know. They're all asking where I am, but I ignore them, because what I'm about to do is far more important than anything they threaten me with. I have to make things right.

Standing in front of this door that I've stood in front of hundreds of times should make me feel at ease. Remembering all the times I had her pressed against the other side of the door because I just couldn't wait to have her all to myself. But if anything, it's making me more nervous. So nervous that my hands are shaking, palms sweating, my breathing is jagged and I know if I don't knock right now I might never get the chance again and I can't lose her for real this time. So without giving myself the chance to rethink, I knock on the door three times and I wait, handing in the pocket of my hoodie.

I wait a solid thirty seconds, which feel like an eternity, before the door finally opens and I see my beautiful girl. Her face is bare, hair only halfway straightened, and she's in those shorts I love and my old Led Zepplin t-shirt.

"Shawn," my name still sounds like heaven spilling from her lips. "What are you doing here?" She crosses and then uncrosses her arms, shifting her weight from one leg to the other before standing completely straight.

I didn't even realize I was crying until I sniffled and heard my voice crack with just three words, "I miss you."

"Shawn," she shook her head.

"I tried not to," I insisted, still standing like a fool on her door step. "I swear I did. But I couldn't stop. I looked through all our pictures and texts, and I couldn't stop myself from missing you. And I know I have no right to because I broke things off. But I was in Paris and I was miserable because Paris was your favorite place, and that was where I promised to love you forever, and I'm still keeping that promise. I was an idiot," I continue to ramble. "If there's a better word for that, then I'm that too, because I thought it would be easier if I broke things off. This tour was going to be so long and to go that long without each other, I was scared that it wouldn't be enough for you. But it's not what I wanted, y/n. It's not, and I just-"

"Shawn, stop."

I shut my mouth instantly, ready for her to tell me to leave. But what she does instead throws me completely off guard. She pulls me into the apartment and wraps her arms around my neck, burying her head deep in my chest.

"I miss you, too." She mumbles and I exhale slowly, only to inhale that scent that I love so much. The scent that is naturally her. She starts to pull away, and even though I don't want her to, I let her but she only leans back enough to take my face in her hands and before I even have time to blink, her soft lips are on mine and I'm whole again.

She's mine again and I'm never letting her go.

***

Tags: @curlyshawny @shawns-badreputation @anamariel2301 @bbellbagel

This took me longer to write than it should have, but I kinda really like it. I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you Wednesday for more content! 💙

Like, reblog, and leave feedback!!

[onebangtanstan]

Power Style - Chapter Fifteen : The celebration

I turn to him as we step outside.

« What are we doing? »

« Well first we can go have some food, then we'll see. »

I follow him into his car, a beautiful blue Lamborghini. He drove himself today, which I find very cute. At least it will just be the 2 of us.

He opens the passenger door for me, and I settle in while he goes around the car. Once he's in and ready to go, he turns to me.

"How do you handle speed?"

The biggest smile appears on my face. "I love it. I used to ride a motorbike back in the US but haven't had the opportunity to get one here yet."

"Perfect."

He smirks at me as he starts the car. The engine growls sending shivers down my spine. He's speeding through the streets of Seoul, but doesn't seem to care about speed limits. I have no idea where we're going, I'm simply enjoying the feeling sent by the acceleration. My back is against the leather seat, the adrenaline filling my stomach with butterflies.

We drive for about 15 minutes before arriving near Lake Seokchon. He parks the car in front of a building with a small restaurant at the corner and tells me to wait inside the car.

He appears on my side and opens the door for me.

"Milady" He bows a bit and puts out his hand for me to take. I giggle and proceed to lean onto him to step out of the car.

"Where are we?" I ask him.

"This is my favourite restaurant here. It's so good, the chef is amazing, and the boss is really nice. Very handsome too."

"Really? Do you know them well?"

"Yes I do, especially the boss. And I've known the chef since I was a baby." He looks over to me with a smirk seeing how confused I am. He continues "The chef is my brother, this is my restaurant."

I giggle once again at his joke. I hook my hand to his open arm and we enter the restaurant. It's beautiful inside, very well decorated, very cosy. The smell of fresh food makes my stomach go wild. We quickly sit down in the back.

"So, we only serve japanese dishes, is that okay for you?" I nod back anticipatedly. I'm starving. "What do you want? Should we get a few things and share? Or do you want your own dish? What about drinks? Wine? Sake? Or no alcohol?"

I put my hand on his to calm him down. "I trust you to order something good, I'm not picky." He smiles back at me and heads towards the kitchen.

He comes back with a bottle of wine and 2 glasses. I look at him while he opens it. He looks great right now with his jumper and messy hair, soft curls falling down on each side of his concentrated face. He's surprised by the pop when he finally pulls the cork out, causing him to almost drop the bottle. We both start laughing at his clumsiness.

We manage to calm down after a bit, allowing him to pour some wine into our glasses.

"Cheers." He says. We lock eyes as our glasses meet each other. « I'm really glad were doing this. I hope you don't mind me barging into your day.»

« Me too! And don't worry, I don't usually plan things ahead, expect for work, so you didn't disturb me at all. In fact, it was a great surprise. »

« That's good then. I was scared you might have plans with friends to celebrate. » He's looking down at the table and fidgeting with his cutlery.

« Well, I don't really know anyone here apart from my colleagues, and I'm not really close witht hem. I only have one friend and she's back in Philadelphia. So no plans for me. » I nervously laugh.

« Hey! That's not true! You have 7 more friends now! »

« 7? You sure about that number? » I look up to him smiling.

« Yeah, okay, 5. »

We stare at each other for a few seconds before he goes on.

« I wanted to tell you, I'm really glad I met you. You are amazing at what you do, and you are a great person. I love spending time with you. »

His ears turn red as he's speaking.

« I feel the same. » I look down, knowing I'm telling a little white lie. I didn't always feel this good, and the bad feeling is still here in the background, I just block it out.

Our food arrives on the table. He got a lot of small dishes for us to share. We look like we haven't eaten in days given the way we jump on the food. 20 minutes later, we're both leaning back on our chairs, empty plates and full stomachs.

« That was delicous. » I tell him.

« I'm glad you liked it. »

He pours me another glass of wine and we simply sit there talking while we finish the bottle. I feel the alcohol getting to my head but I don't care. It feels good when he takes my hand into his and looks at me as if he could see my soul.

« You're beautiful, Gina. » He tells me, making me look down.

« Thank you » I barely whisper.

« Should we get going? We don't want to be late for tonight. »

« Absolutely, and I have to take a shower and change. »

« I'll drop you home then. »

We walk out of the restaurant to get back in the car, and as he's being a true gentleman by once again opening the door for me, I grow a pair of balls. I pull him by the collar and kiss him. He seems startled at first, but soon leans into the kiss. He grabs my hips to pull me closer while I lock my arms around his neck. My hands start playing with his hair, while his are still holding onto me, although they are getting tighter as the kiss intensifies.

We let go of each other after a few minutes, a bit short of breath.

« Wow. » He lets out. I look up to his eyes and notice the burning desire in them. He wants me, and I want him.

« Shall we go? » I ask. He nods back as he licks his lips.

He's driving way faster than before, not that I mind, I just find it amusing. I adore seeing the effect women have on men.

He parks in front of my building and heads to my door, but I'm already out by the time he gets to it.

« You coming? » I'm definitely a bit drunk.

He looks surprised, but doens't complain and starts following me up.

I attack his lips once again as soon as we enter the lift. This isn't a passionate kiss anymore, it's a lustful kiss. We're both hungry for each other and our bodies can feel it.

We break the kiss long enough for me to open the door, and as soon as we're in my apartment, he lifts me up and wraps my legs around his waist, walking towards my room.

He puts me down on my bed, lying on top of me. I try to intensify the kisses, letting him know how I like things, but it doesn't have the desired effect. I can feel him hard between my legs, and the only thing I want right now is for him to rip off my clothes, but he doesn't. He simply kisses me tenderly. I can feel the desire in his lips, don't get me wrong, but there's too much softness. I decide to take matters in my own hands and manage to turn things around and be on top of him. I don't like topping, but I don't seem to have a choice right now. I start kissing him with more intensity, attacking his neck, letting my body tell him what he needs to know.

« Gina, wait » He moans. I sit back up to look at him. « Not like this, not in a hurry. »

Ok fair point. I'm disappointed but he's not wrong. I really have to get ready. He sits back up and takes my face in his hands, gently kissing my lips.

« I'm going to go back home to get changed, and I'll pick you up, is that ok? »

« No problem. » I walk him back to the door. «See you later. » We kiss yet again, both wanting more.

I get into my shower to freshen up and get rid of the frustration caused by what just happened. My thoughts start to drift away, as do my fingers. I'm imagining what could have happened if we had carried on, and just as I'm about to come, something pops into my head. Well, not something, but someone.

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

I just came thinking about Namjoon fucking me.

I quickly wash my body, scrubbing harshly. I feel so dirty.

I decide to clear my mind with some music and turn my sound system on. The last played song starts again, and of course it's Namjoon's voice. I shrug and put a generic playlist on, before starting to get ready. Once my makeup and hair is done, I head to my wardrobe and settle for a long dress and black heels.

I'm struggling with the dress, my head is trying to get into a sleeve, when my phone bings. I finally find the collar and check my texts.

« Be there in 5. » from Jin.

I hurry to put my shoes on, not forgetting to check myself one last time, before leaving.

There he is, once again in his Lambo.

« You look beautiful, as always. » he says as I sit down in the passenger seat.

« Thanks! You clean up well too. »

He's wearing a beautiful button up shirt, not too fancy, his hair is up, perfectly shaping his traits.

The now familiar sound of the engine fills up the car and we're gone into the streets of Seoul.

« Hey I hope you're not annoyed about earlier. » He says.

« No don't worry about it. » And it's true, because I took care of myself. Thinking about it brings back the shower situation to my mind making me shiver. I stop the stream of thoughts. « You were right to stop us. »

We drive in silence for a bit before he speaks up again.

« Gina, I meant to say, I don't know what's going on here, or even where it will bring us, but there's one thing... »

« Yes? » My stomach is tight. What is he going to say? Oh please God, don't start with feelings.

« Well you know.. I'm an idol and we can't really.. »

« Oh yeah, of course. Keep it on the low. Got it. » I'm relieved.

« Yeah.. We can totally be seen together, since we work together, but we can't kiss in the street like today. »

« Got it. »

I'm not going to lie, even though I'm glad it's only that, I'm a bit taken aback by the conversation. I feel like it's neither the time or place to have it, and nothing has even happened between us yet.

I don't have time to think about it because he just parked in Taegi's parking lot.

Once we're in the lift, I hook my arm to his. I feel him stiffen.

« What? We're not in the street right? Plus I can't stand straight with these heels. »

He smiles and relaxes.

We get to the door and are greeted by Yoongi.

« Hi guys! Oh...this is new... » He noticed our arms. « Anyway, come on in. »

We walk down the now familiar hall full of pictures to find Tae, Kook, Hobi and Jimin.

« OH MY GOD! » Hobi exclaims « First of all Gina you look AMAZING, secondly, what is this? » He asks, pointing at ours arms. « Why am I even asking it was only a matter of time. » He turns his heels to get some wine.

I shake my head as Jin helps me take my coat off, and my eyes meet Kook's. His face is tense, and his eyes have a worried look to them. All of a sudden, his words come back to mind. I question him with my eyes, but he looks away.

« Here you go, honey. » I turn to the sound of Tae's voice. He's holding up a glass of wine for me. « Sweet wine, right? »

« Perfect. »

I finally notice Jimin staring at me with a smirk on his face. Not a cute one though, a very judgmental one. I give him a death stare before Hobi pulls me to the kitchen.

« So I'm gonna do it.. you know the thing we talked about. »

« Okay, I'll be here for you. Do you want to sit beside me? »

« Yes that would be perfect. Thanks again. » He brings me in for a hug.

« Right, should we just have a drink in the living room while we wait for Joon? » Tae asks. I forgot about him. Do I really have to face him after what happened in my shower?

I sit and talk with Hobi and Tae, while Jin and Kook are messing around behind the couch and Jimin and Yoongi seem to be having a very serious conversation on the other sofa.

We all stop when we hear the doorbell. Tae goes to open and comes back with Namjoon, who walks in as if he owns the place. I forgot how annoying his presence is.

As expected, everything comes back to mind. I bottom my glass to give myself some courage.

I'm guessing he just noticed I was here.

« Oh brilliant, she's here. » he snarks.

« Yeah, well, deal with it. » I answer, standing up to get more wine. I feel his stare on me as I walk to the kitchen, but I also hear Jimin hold in a laugh.

« Fuck off Jimin. I thought you felt the same.» I hear Namjoon tell him off behind me.

« Yeah, but I'm not a dick about it...anymore. Plus, she bites back. I don't want any part of that. » Jimin replies to him. « Lucky Jin, though. »

« What are you on about? »

« Oh yeah, you're late to the party, Jin fucked her. »

« JIMIN » I hear from everyone. I turn around to answer.

« Guys, thanks but it's not your fight. Just FYI, I'm a grown woman and I'll do what I want with my ass. » I'm practically red with anger « And not that it's any of your concern, but no, he did not fuck me. »

« Wow, she is feisty. » says Jimin. « Good luck, Jin. »

« Anywaaaaay... » says Yoongi « Food? »

We all agree and start heading towards the table placed in front of the view of Seoul's skyline. Jin is holding me by my shoulders.

« Don't mind them. »

« Don't worry about that, Jin. »

He pecks my forehead before we sit down.

I have Jin on my right side, Hobi on my left, Tae in front of me, Kook facing Jin and Yoongi across Hobi. Namjoon and Jimin are on each side of the table, far from me.

As we're about to start eating, Hobi whispers in my ear.

« I'm gonna do it now. I'm gonna make a toast. Can I hold your hand? »

I take his hand in mine and squeeze it as a reply.

He proceeds to stand up, his glass in his hand.

« Guys, please, I'd like to make a toast... »