#the other way around makes more sense because its. a squip place now and michael knows SO MUCH about the squips and jeremy knows-

[tenpixelsusie]

there's a bmc/inside job au brewing in tenpixelsusie town...

[a-clockwork-justice]

How the SQUIP put Jeremy in the hospital - a breakdown by a second-year Biomed student (super long and very medical - apologies in advance. TL;DR at the end)

(TW: medical, burns, electric shocks, brief abuse/punishment)

(Cross-posted from Reddit)

After my last post about how long Jeremy and Rich's recovery time would've been to recover based on how long it would've taken for Jake's legs to heal*, I got to thinking about how exactly the SQUIP could've hospitalised Jeremy and possibly the others. (If you're a fan of Game Theory/Film Theory, this level of thought might seem familiar to you. Yes, this is what I'm putting my university education towards).

Firstly, it's doubtful the rest of the SQUIPped cast was in the hospital for as long as Jeremy, if at all. People apparently thought that it was either all part of the play (according to Michael) or that they'd all taken ecstasy (according to Chloe). If we go with the ecstasy angle because they would've had to have noticed the ambulances, they probably just assumed that Jeremy had taken more and/or had a worse reaction to it than the others, especially since he was the one acting the most erratically. Doesn't wholly explain why he was down and out for so long, but I don't need to explain that because, as we know, that's not what happened.

What did happen? Short answer - electrocution, similar to being struck by lightning. Long answer below the cut:

We know that the SQUIP regularly punished Jeremy by shocking him, the worst of which was enough to cause a seizure when it was first activated. Also, given the sound effects at the end of The Play when the SQUIPs were deactivated, it's easy to guess electrical shocks. The part about Jeremy having a worse reaction to said shocks than the others still makes sense - with the SQUIP regularly taking control over his nerves, those nerves would have more memory of being stimulated a certain way. Okay, I'll try and put this simply - it's the same reason for muscle memory, that phenomenon where your body remembers how to do something without you consciously thinking about it. It's because those nerves have been fired off in that way so many times that they're stimulated faster and easier. Similar principles apply for regular memory or, in this case, Jeremy and his SQUIP - the SQUIP had gotten so good at using electricity to stimulate Jeremy's nerves that those nerves now had lower thresholds to that stimulus, therefore eliciting a more pronounced response.

However, when the SQUIP was deactivated, those shocks were now non-specific, most likely stimulating almost all of Jeremy's nerves at once, as well as probably inducing substantial damage to other organs. For a point of comparison, I looked up the effects of getting struck by lightning. Lightning strikes may be a bit harsher than the SQUIP, but it still works for this analysis.

When I first saw the famous "Jared Kleinman discovers the perils of smoking drugs" (I'm sorry, I just love that name), I suspected electrical burns when he wakes up in the hospital, tries to sit up and immediately responds with several "Ow" s and has to lie down again. Whatever physical pain the SQUIP had previously caused him, it was always pretty transient, so for him to still be incapacitated to that degree indicated longer-term damage. This turned out to be pretty accurate as lightning strikes can cause deep thermal burns, particularly the tissue near bones as the bones are the most resistant to electricity. That explains why moving would hurt. The same can be said for muscle tissue, or any other soft tissues within the body.

I also theorised that the electrical shocks could've sent Jeremy's heart into fibrillation, giving them a valid reason to keep him in the hospital for that long (keep in mind, they likely thought it was due to ecstasy). I'd heard that this can happen when being shocked by a live circuit, and it applies to lightning strikes too - it can very easily send a person into cardiac arrest. Strikes can also cause a stroke or brain haemorrhage, but, again, the SQUIP's shocks probably aren't as powerful as that. We do know that it gave Jeremy a headache (the reasons for which are probably obvious enough that I don't need to explain them) from the way he asks Michael to be quiet when he's explaining everything to him.

The good news is that Jeremy is young and otherwise healthy, meaning that with quick CPR, he would've been kept alive long enough for the ambulance to arrive and take him to hospital. I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that a small public school like Middleborough didn't have a defibrillator on hand, but I don't think Jeremy's body needed more electricity at that point.

Also, bear in mind that if this is all true, it also happened to Rich while he was in the hospital with already pretty severe burns, but at least he was already in the best place to be resuscitated and further treated.

One thing that I can't give an answer to is whether this would've kept Jeremy unconscious/in the hospital for the two months I'd suggested. A more likely explanation is that they put him in a medically induced coma to give his body time to heal. Depends on the extent of the damage.

TL;DR: The SQUIP did more damage to Jeremy's body upon its deactivation than the others' (apart from Rich's) because it had forged a stronger connection with Jeremy's nerves and organs. These damages are due to electric shocks that caused electrical burns around his bones and muscles and, potentially, cardiac arrest. It would've been more than enough to land him in the hospital for quite a while.

*I’ve also since been informed that Jake's casts/crutches in VIMH vary between productions. This does make a difference in terms of timescale implications since I stated that for Jake to be recovered by the time he saw Jeremy again, it had to have been at least two months. However, I was going off of the Broadway production since that was what I was watching when it occurred to me.

[paladin-lynx]

SquipJere Week 2020, Day 1: Retro

@squipjerebmc’s SquipJere Week 2020 Day 1: Retro

Ships Involved: The SQUIP x Jeremy Heere (Technical Difficulties/Squipemy/Squeremy/JereSquip/SquipJere)

Setting: Canonverse, set in the time interval between “Loser Geek Whatever” and “Halloween”.

Trigger/Content Warnings: Non-graphic mentions of masturbation; electric shocks

Author’s Notes: Happy SquipJere Week! I meant to get these done like a month ago so I could pre-plan and not rush, but my writing motivation has been kinda low lately. But I’m still gonna try my best to get a piece out for each day! Some of these might be loosely connected – I haven’t decided yet. But I hope you enjoy!

Sometimes, teenage boys needed an escape from the crazy, loud world around them.

Jeremiah Heere had always had three main methods of just forgetting about his problems for a little while: jerking off, talking to Michael, or playing video games.

But considering with the introduction of a supercomputer into his brain the first two options weren’t actually options anymore, he had to settle for the third.

It wasn’t like Jeremy had any shortage of games to play, and it wasn’t like he couldn’t play them without a Player Two – although normally he was the Player Two. But there was definitely something bittersweet about not being able to call up his long-time friend and lose themselves together in the mindless images on the TV screen.

But it was for the best, Jeremy reminded himself. When he reunited with Michael, he’d be better. He’d be cooler. And he could potentially help his friend move up from just being the weirdo loser headphones kid at school. But for now, he needed to break the chains in order to upgrade.

So for now, to try and stave off the nerves that often decided to just rise up out of nowhere – honestly, why was the human brain so stupid sometimes? Jeremy could see why his SQUIP often got frustrated with him – he flopped back onto his bed and booted up his trusty old Game Boy Color. He was still surprised it had survived this long, but unlike other things in his life, Jeremy was actually quite careful when it came to tending to his video games and their respective consoles. Maybe he’d only started being so careful after an unfortunate accident involving a slushie and Michael’s Dreamcast, but even so – now he was careful.

He quickly forgot that anything outside of his game existed, eyes glued to the screen as he tapped away at the controls. All was peaceful for a good while before he felt a familiar buzz at the back of his head and a certain Keanu Reeves lookalike appeared standing over him, frowning thoughtfully.

“Out of all of your video game systems, you chose to play that one?”

Jeremy’s gaze swiveled over to the SQUIP. “What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s so…” The SQUIP hummed, and Jeremy could all but feel it searching for the right word to use. “…retro.”

“…Is that a bad thing?”

The SQUIP tutted at him. “Technology evolves so quickly nowadays. You may be looked down upon if you don’t keep up with it, or if you are still attached to the older, menial versions of things.”

Jeremy’s brow furrowed. “…Is that part of why Mic—” He caught himself. He wasn’t supposed to bring a certain someone up. “…uh, why people think I’m so weird?”

“A small part.” The SQUIP offered him a sympathetic smile, although Jeremy was pretty sure the look in the SQUIP’s eyes was more amused than anything else. “You do get quite a few of your odder interests from Michael. It’s another reason why we needed to get you away from him. We’re modernizing everything about you, from your fashion sense to your hobbies.”

Jeremy sat up more on the bed, setting the Game Boy aside for the time being. As argumentative as he could sometimes be with his SQUIP, he was nothing if not eager to learn and improve. It was why he asked so many questions. “But even Rich plays video games, and he’s considered cool.”

“Ah.” The SQUIP raised a finger. “But he plays recent games. I don’t believe Rich will use a system if it is more than a few years old, and he invests his money to buy new consoles as soon as they come out. Of course, he prefers ‘more mature’ systems like the Xbox, but that’s personal preference. You having an affinity for Nintendo is harmless, but it would be better for you to pick, say, the Switch over…” He waved over at the Game Boy with a slight grimace. “…that.”

Jeremy frowned, peeking down at his innocent Game Boy before looking up at the SQUIP again. “But…does it matter if I’m only playing the older stuff by myself? It isn’t like anyone will know.”

The SQUIP shook its head. “Everything you do, whether alone or with company, will somehow reflect back on you. Besides, if you have a girl in here one day, what would she think? What if Brooke ends up coming over?”

“I don’t think Brooke would care…”

The SQUIP sighed, pinching the bridge of its nose. “You’re awfully intent on this, dear. These ‘retro’ pastimes of yours are still a consequence of your proximity to Michael. If you’re truly cutting him out, then you have to give up these things, too.”

Jeremy’s cheeks warmed indignantly. “I like them for myself, not just because of him!”

The SQUIP huffed, turning its gaze unto the Game Boy, looking down at it as if it were a bug it was getting ready to squish under its sleek digitized boots. “I don’t see the appeal in such outdated hardware.”

Jeremy picked up the Game Boy and held it against his chest like he was trying to protect it from the SQUIP’s scrutiny. “Clearly you understand some appeal to older things, considering that when I first got you, you looked like Keanu from Bill & Ted.”

The SQUIP narrowed its eyes. “Only my face. The rest of me was more advanced. I tailored my aesthetics so that I’d look like someone you’d pay attention to. Someone you’d find intriguing.” It smirked slightly. “Dare I say, attractive.”

Jeremy’s face warmed again and he sputtered for a moment. “M-my point is that just because I like vintage stuff in the comfort of my own home doesn’t mean I can’t be cool!”

“I’ll say again, I can’t comprehend your attachment to such old technology. The games from those consoles absolutely pale in comparison to anything made now.”

Jeremy shrugged. “It isn’t necessarily about them being good. It’s the nostalgia of it. AotD has been out for years but w—I never get tired of it.”

The SQUIP hummed, once again looking at the Game Boy now pressed against Jeremy’s chest. “What is it that you’re even playing?” Jeremy opened his mouth to answer, but the SQUIP rolled its eyes before he could even say anything. “Hamtaro, Jeremy? Really?”

“Oh, shove off! I told you, it’s for the nostalgia!” Jeremy defended. He realized he’d raised his voice and braced himself for a shock, but all he got was a tingle of static rushing down his spine, making him shiver and blush again. He lay back down, electing to ignore his SQUIP and return to his game of, yes, Hamtaro.

He could still see the SQUIP’s tall frame out of the corner of his eye, watching, tilting its head to the side in that almost endearing way that meant it was analyzing something. But when it didn’t do anything else, Jeremy just focused on the screen before him, clicking at the controls once more.

“Up up down down left right A.”

Jeremy yipped softly as pain flared in the back of his head and he moved one hand to immediately clutch at the tender spot. He looked over to the SQUIP with wide eyes, about to demand what the hell it was doing, only to blink when he realized it was no longer standing there.

“What the fuck?” he mumbled, brow creasing before he slowly turned back to his Game Boy. However, as he pressed one of the buttons, the screen fizzled and the handheld became dangerously hot in his hands, making him gasp and drop it onto the covers beneath him. “Oh God, what did you do?”

Finally, though, the screen returned, except instead of the white-and-orange sprite for Hamtaro, instead the screen was taken over by a different pixelated hamster. This one was jet black save for the white on its muzzle, paws, tail, and tips of its ears, and its eyes were a striking, very familiar bright blue. Jeremy blinked, slowly picking up the Game Boy again and staring at the screen as the black hamster blinked a few times and looked around itself in confusion before it suddenly appeared very disgruntled.

“This is not what I intended to happen,” a text box appeared as the hamster peered up at Jeremy with those big blue eyes. Jeremy’s own widened.

“SQUIP?”

“Yes, it’s me.”

“Wh—How did you—” Jeremy stumbled over his own words, staring at the sprite. “You’re a Ham-Ham.”

The hamster scowled at him – or at least, Jeremy assumed it was a scowl. It only had so many bits to work with to get its point across. “I suppose I am. I can still shock you, so speak carefully, love.”

Jeremy couldn’t help cracking a tiny smile, shaking his head and leaning back as he continued to watch the SQUIP’s new form. “What the hell were you trying to do?”

The SQUIP gave a shrug, front paws raising in emphasis. “I was trying to better understand your interest in the Game Boy Color. As well as in this game. I suppose I h—”

The text cut out there and Jeremy could all but feel the SQUIP sighing as it waited for Jeremy to finish reading before it deleted the text and continued: “I suppose I had a miscalculation about what would happen when I synced with it.”

Jeremy laughed. “I think this old-school tech is trying to spite you for insulting it.” He grinned. “You look kinda cute like that. And if you’re still in my head, can’t you, y’know, just talk to me there instead of through text boxes?”

The hamster blinked, and it was obvious the SQUIP had been so busy processing the change that it hadn’t considered that as an option, but before Jeremy could poke more fun, he felt another fizzle at the back of his head. The Game Boy’s screen had another freak-out before the game returned to normal with Hamtaro once again in his proper place within the game. Soon enough, the SQUIP reappeared beside the bed, brushing off its clothes as if it had just walked through a hall of cobwebs.

“Have a fun trip?” Jeremy teased, not even minding the warning static on his back.

The SQUIP rolled its eyes, crossing its arms. “I suppose the console is…endearingly antiquated.”

“Yeah, see? That’s the whole point of having vintage stuff!” Jeremy smiled and returned to his game, already missing the black-and-white sprite that had previously been there, as much as he adored the irreplaceable Hamtaro. “Could you change your form to look like a hamster? You really did look cute.”

The SQUIP sighed, coming over to sit on the edge of the bed and watch Jeremy play with almost timid curiosity. “…Perhaps I’ll consider it, if you behave.”

[ayashiki-i-i]

Last Friday, I had the absolute joy and privilege to see Be More Chill in London!

(Yes, last Friday, this has been sitting in my drafts for over a week because I couldn’t figure out how to appropriately convey my delight with this show, and also yes, joy and privilege, call me dramatic but I swear to god nothing on this Earth makes me appreciate my life quite as live theatre.)

I have loved this show for a very long time. Not quite since its first Two Rivers Theatre run, but very early on from when it caught the internet’s attention. I was at the start of what was to become a viral sensation, and I was with the show, rooting for it, hoping for it, ever since. I feel like I walked the journey from crossing million hits on Spotify to the Broadway alongside the cast and creators. I felt immensely happy and proud for these people I never met when they announced their off-Broadway return, and I honest to god cried the day they opened on Broadway. Needless to say, I was overjoyed, literally jumping with happiness, when they announced they will stage a production on West End. Or technically off-West End? I’m still very confused how The Other Palace is not West End and Victoria Palace literally around the corner is West End... Anyway. I have not walked into that theatre on Valentine’s Day with low expectations.

And my Mount Everest high expectations were far, far exceeded and shot somewhere into the stratosphere.

I really can’t with words describe how much I loved this show. Joes Iconis and Tracz managed to hit some very special spot with this musical. It’s truly hard to describe, but this show just makes you happy. It makes you involved and interested. And I gotta tell you, I think we hit the press night, because there was a bunch of people (very respectfully) scribbling on their pads and iPads during the show, so this wasn’t an audience primed and geared for this type of musical. And that’s not even counting all the parents chaperoning their teenagers. And I can guarantee you everyone had a great time. During the intermission I went to get a drink and witnessed several conversations between aforementioned parents that all pretty much amounted to “wow, this is actually good!” It’s honestly such a treat to be in an audience that’s genuinely enjoying themselves.

This show is funny, and heartfelt, and charming. So charming. It has somehow a vibe of a really well done high school production, which could maybe sound like a criticism but i swear it isn’t!

I haven’t seen much of the previous productions, except few clips from the Two Rivers bootleg slime tutorial, but I really tried not to watch too much, hoping against hope there will be a revival one day (I try not to watch shows I have a chance of seeing one day. I’m fortunate to have the chance of having the full experience live so I try not to ruin it for myself lol). I gobbled up all the official promo clips and videos from the NYC revival, being super unlucky and managing to plan my New York trip in that small window when BMC just closed Off-Broadway and before it got on Broadway. I haven’t even listened to the Broadway recording, because by the time it came out I knew they’ll be staging a production over here. So i went in quite blind. With all that previous ado, this is how it was:

The book is so good. So so good. Many times when I fall in love with an album, the actual musical doesn’t hold up because the book doesn’t compare (hi, Dear Evan Hansen). But BMC is as engaging and fun between the songs as during them. Tbh I don’t love the changes to the songs they made, but I don’t really hate them either... Now having listened to the Broadway recording they reverted somewhat back to the original album on West End and I’m happy they did, but still. Especially Pitiful Children did not deserve the cuts. But I mean its still mostly the same album and it’s brilliant and fun, and ok, Looser, Geek or Whatever is a bop.

(Although I always kinda liked that Jeremy didn’t have a typical big “hero song” because he keeps mentioning how he isn’t a hero and it was kinda ironic that his own show refused him the hero treatment, but the song is solid.)

This cast is EVERYTHING. I’m sorry all previous casts, I love you and I respect you but i really think the British cast is (so far) the peak? Obviously as I said I don’t have the full picture to compare, but honestly these guys are all so good and I can’t imagine anyone else in these roles, they set the bar so high. Yes, even Michael. Omg I’m so sorry George Salazar! This role is his in a very special way, and I feel blasphemous saying this! But that’s what makes Blake Patrick Anderson so special, because I didn’t think I will ever be able to accept another Micheal than George Salazar. But from the first moment Anderson appears on stage, you don’t think of George Salazar. This right here is a Micheal and that’s it. I think he’s slightly less... Manic, than Salazar, and more caring, but also more stubborn, and nerdy. My friend said after the first act the character’s problem is that he’s a bit too likeable and it’s almost unbelievable he would be a social outcast and she was right. The dude is so damn likeable! So charming, so positive. And then Micheal in the Bathroom hits and omg does it hit. Also Blake Patrick Anderson has a really long name is very pretty. A+ snack. I’m in love. Scott Folan is, uh, I don’t really love him vocally... Ok I liked him until Loser Geek of Whatever. I don’t know, maybe it wasn’t his day. Or maybe that song is just written for Will Roland and no one will ever measure up? Tbh I haven’t seen Roland sing it live so who knows, maybe it is one of those songs that’s hard to perform without yelling a bit. Praying circle for the West End cast album? However Scott Folan’s acting is a masterclass. He’s so awkward in the first act, so sad, but also sweet. Actually I said i didn’t love his singing but when his voice cracks all over in his first few songs it’s superb and also his “Christiiine~” is really beautiful and lovely, so, dunno *shrugs*. And then in the second half he totally sells his confidence and assholer-y and like... They seem like two different jeremys, the squipped and un-squipped one. But ultimately he just gives such good-kid vibes. He seems like the perfect midpoint between Will Connolly’s shy Bambi and Roland’s geeky recluse. This Christine is absolutely feral. Like, you have no idea. Some people commented on the video of I Love Play Rehersal from the rehearsals that this Christine is not chaotic enough, so I’m seriously worried how chaotic Stephenie Hsu was? :D In any case Miracle Chance I thought was perfect, the ideal mixture of quirky but relatable, sweet but strong. Also she is hilarious. I’m pretty sure she got the most laugh out of the audience, not just because the actress’s absolutely perfect comedic timing but also that role is so well written. Like you really can’t get the full idea of this character until you watch the show, you know? It’s very layered, but each layer is easy to get so she makes a really fun character to watch. The Squip is hot. Like so hot. And his costumes are wonderful. And I know I’m not the only one who didn’t love Jason Tam’s accent as Squip and like... I think I know what he was going for but it just doesn’t work for me. This Squip is a lot more like Eric William Morris, just more hot. Oh yeah I mean the dude is fantastic actor too, and his voice is something impressive, but mostly I was just thinking “hot” whenever he was on stage :D James Hameed’s Rich is vocally stunning. By far the best Squip Song I have ever heard. Also he has Pickle Rick tattoo?? It’s fucking brilliant I HATE IT! :D Millie O’Connel is perfect of course. She has such a presence on stage. It was hilarious when she came out after the show, with her hair down and make-up off and said hi and people mostly kinda ignored her cause... She’s really a hurricane on stage and when she dials it down just a notch I really think people don’t connect her to her stage persona :D

(Also like, massive kudos to The Other Palace’s stage door, cause they allow you to just hang around the bar where the cast has to go through to leave the place, so no dirty alleyways stage dooring in rain and cold and possible pickpockets around.)

I really loved the staging, and it’s very small, very minimal, which isn’t something I normally like, so well done! They definitely dialled back from the Broadway (the bean bags are back!) and honestly the minimal props and simple set really suit this show. It adds to that almost-like-a-really-good-school-play charm. But also they have this massive LED screen as the background so they can change and move and animate their backdrop and it’s honestly so impressive. The artwork is so perfectly in line with the show’s aesthetic. And it’s building up and up towards the show’s climax which I thought was pretty subtle and pretty neat creative decision.

Ugh this is so long I didn’t think it would be so long :D But I have one criticism I cannot not mention. And I kinda always had this, but seeing it live it jumps out on me more - I don’t feel Jeremy and Christine :| I mean don’t get me wrong. The actors have amazing chemistry, their added song is the one that I actually really like and it makes sense, there’s so much more meaningful interaction they have in the show than the songs wold suggest. But. It still doesn’t quite sit well. Besides the fact that I don’t think the show’s narrative is about Jeremy getting the girl - that’s not really his character arc. But also, although they’re not incompatible, he gets the girl he doesn’t even really know, and she definitely doesn’t know him. I think I would prefer if they just stayed friends at the end, but if there had to be romantic conclusion... Well, I mean who doesn’t ship boyf friends, but seriously if Michael was a girl I’m pretty sure he’d be the romantic endgame for Jeremy. You know the type, the old friend who was by the protagonists side and believed in him all along? Yeah. But besides that, i was surprised to find I kinda liked Jeremy with Brooke too? I mean they have the same problem as Jeremy and Christine, with not knowing each other and all that, but at least it’s mutual, and they seemed to have a spark. But maybe it’s just because I unexpectedly really, really loved Brooke (she doesn’t have much space on the album and no one ever really talks about her, why does no one really talk about her???). She defies a lot of her archetype, she seems like such a sweet person. I guess I would just like to see more of her, and more depth to her, which a romance with the protagonist would’ve given her.

But tbh the show devotes a lot more time than I thought it would for Christine and Jeremey’s relationship to develop and it isn’t unrealistic, so it ended up being a pretty minor issue, which i though would be a bigger one.

Tl;dr (oh my god why is this so long????) this show is everything I wanted and more. The West End cast is amazing, charming and delightful and each of them is perfectly cast to really embody their character, while giving some fresh outlook on characters I thought I knew very well and filling very big shoes of the original cast I thought couldn’t be replaced. Also I didn’t talk to any of them but they spend a long time hanging out with the fans after the show and seemed genuinely super nice and pleased with the love the show is getting. The book is more than an equal partner to the music I already was in love with (also Joe Iconis was at the show I saw! I didn’t talk to him because I’m me and I will forever regret it!). The Other Palace’s staging and direction is wonderful, and the choreography is impressive and very on brand with the rest of the show, very modern, very electro and robot. I enjoyed every second and the standing ovation at the end was well deserved.

Just to re-affirm how much I loved this show - just few days after seeing it I booked a ticket to go see it again almost immediately lol. So if anyone is seeing it this Wednesday 26th Feb and you can telepathically pick me in the audience come say hello!

(Or like, drop me a message like a normal person if you’re also going alone and want to meet with someone to seem less like a weirdo! :D)

[redandfranticfeelings]

okay ive been wanting to make a post like this for a while but i wanted to make it an essay and i dont know if i can really organize my thoughts in that way yet, so here’s a chronological bullet-pointed dump to explain my very important thesis:

be more chill is about internalized ableism, and jeremy, michael, and christine are all highly autistic coded. this is going to be very long and detailed but only because there’s a lot of details that work very well under this lens.

there’s probably even stuff i missed but this is already extremely long so it basically just functions as a way for me to collect a bunch of details that i can piece together later in a more coherent manner.

“more than survive” in the context of jeremy being autistic works so much. the theme of wanting to be just socially acceptable enough to not burn out or be harassed is so relatable, and it visually establishes very early how jeremy is isolated from his peers due to his own awkward behavior and hypersensitivity. it’s coupled with his very obvious anxiety disorder, but the social aspect just screams autistic coding to me. i take this song to basically be “not having a meltdown is basically my goal but i would love to be neurotypical enough so i can heighten my standards and actually enjoy my social life.” some choice segments:

“if i’m not feeling weird or super strange, my life would be in utter disarray, cuz freaking out is my okay”

jeremy’s house being a mess is partly due to his dad’s serious depression, yeah, but i believe the other aspect is that jeremy’s executive dysfunction makes it just as hard to clean up in his place

he gets super anxious at the prospect of his expected routine being shaken up and having to make the decision on his own of how to get to school

“so i follow my own rules and i use them as my tools to stay alive” honestly sounds like a euphemism for autism to me

jeremy not really realizing that he’s staring at chloe

“avoiding any eye contact at all” explains itself

michael’s introduction, oh my god, every time i watch this part i just adore it. i could talk a lot more about michael’s autism later but this whole segment sells it especially.

first off, michael keeping his hood up and headphones on in a deliberate attempt to avoid social interaction and stay in his own space is such an autistic mood. even before this scene he’s constantly moving in the background to his music a la stimming. in the later performances he spends a lot more time playing with his hoodie strings and even chews on them!!

the fact he doesn’t talk to or even really look at jeremy until his song is done playing also feels very autistic to me! and the way he dances so confidently and basically pretends even his best friend isn’t there for the time being because he’s engrossed in his own passions.

michael is a great friend but it’s clear that he doesn’t really understand that his coping mechanism doesn’t really work for jeremy, and that even though michael feels confident reclaiming his identity as a ‘loser,’ jeremy doesn’t really feel any better about it. i think a lot of autistic folks, or at least i do, have this tendency to assume what works for us works for everyone around us at first due to our struggles with empathy. michael tries his best but struggles to see outside his point of view. it’s mind-blindness in action and jeremy can’t communicate why it upsets him any better than michael can pick up on it not working for him.

near the end of the song, they have a brief moment where all the ensemble crowds in around jeremy and the lights start flashing, which i interpret as a visual representation of sensory overload.

we’ll talk more about her soon, but outside of jeremy’s fantasies about her, christine also avoids social interaction during this number, constantly hiding her face in a book and avoiding eye contact just as much as jeremy. people forget that she’s not comfortable with unexpected social interaction, and that really informs my headcanon for her which brings us to....

“i love play rehearsal” is an autistic anthem. it also works, possibly even better due to in-text evidence, as an adhd anthem, but combined with the above it makes so much sense for her to be comorbid autism/adhd. i did a breakdown of the song in this context before, but i’ll sum it up here

the song showcases what having a special interest/hyperfixation is like. christine is singing to jeremy, yes, but she really seems so caught up in her own passion without much regard for how jeremy is following it, and even cuts him off from responding to her once or twice because she’s just so hyped up on her own feelings. she also basically implies her happiness is reliant on her special interest which is very relatable.

lines like “you follow a script so you know what comes next” also really sell the interpretation that christine isn’t good in unpredictable situations, and has so many identity issues and likes having something to look to where things are laid out for her. i think that stability is what a lot of autistic people look for, especially teenagers.

also with that in mind, look at how upset she gets watching a play she loves about get rewritten into something weird and new that she doesn’t know.

also gotta love how she still self-isolates before this song by focusing on her book, until she has a reason to infodump to jeremy. and then feels guilty afterwards and goes right back into her book while apologizing for getting “carried away”....biiiig mood there

the whole intro scene showcases both of their awkwardness so much. jeremy gets completely thrown off by her sarcastic comment about the swim team and almost believes it, which implies that he can’t read tone very well. and then christine’s “you’re a virgin” comment comes across like she really didn’t think about how that would sound to jeremy before saying it since she only made the clarification after he was ready to panic about it. she has a habit of speaking before she thinks, i think, the self-harm comment is also very awkward considering she barely knows jeremy.

after that scene we get “more than survive reprise” where jeremy admits to routinely having such bad breakdowns that he needs to step out and go to the nurse which works for both the anxiety disorder and the autism interpretation.

i’m not quite sure whether i see rich as autistic (i see him with a lot of mental issues for sure though) so i can’t say much on “the squip song” but there’s definitely something to describing a confused autistic kid as “almost helpless.” rich definitely has a habit of giving too much information though, i’ll say that.

“two player game” is just jeremy and michael being autistic solidarity: the song. i guess this is a good place to say that jeremy and michael work well as a contrast b/w two sides of autistic community, the side that struggles to function and desperately wants a change bc they’re afraid of being alone forever, and the side that tries to love all their symptoms and embrace their autistic pride. and as coincidental icing on the cake, jeremy wears blue (associated with the derogatory views from autism speaks) and michael wears red (associated with combating said views through autistic pride).

btw you could probably attribute michael’s ability to casually down a long-expired crystal pepsi as a sort of weird sensory quirk. and his fixation w/ that sort of memorabilia honestly feels like a special interest in its own right!

both “nice sideburns....wolverine, right” and “like in x-men????” using fiction as a reference point for real life always gives me autistic vibes (esp the first point where he awkwardly uses it to start conversation). can we assume x-men is a special interest? :3

jake referring to jeremy as a ‘freak’ when the squip turns on is really sad in this context but it also does make so much sense

now we get to the squip.....and what do you know, it uses tactics from abusive therapy used on autistic children. dare i say that “be more chill” as a song isn’t just an abuser’s song, but an ableist’s abuser’s song.

first off, the “spinal stimulation.” here’s a not so fun fact: electroshock therapy has been used to discourage autistic behavior in very recent years. (content warning in link for graphic description of ableist torture)

then the lyrics, in which the squip mostly focuses on jeremy’s posture and physically punishes him for disobeying. jeremy is shown to really struggle to stand up straight and pose himself in a normal, confident way, and i think that tendency to be unaware of what our body is doing is a pretty autistic thing?

the fact the squip singles out stammering and refers to jeremy’s “tics and fidgets” brings attention to two more autistic traits of jeremy’s

the squip basically punishes jeremy for responding “incorrectly” to social situations like rejecting brooke, even if they aren’t objectively wrong. it eventually just starts speaking for jeremy because jeremy seems incapable of acting natural. the squip is an abusive autism parent.

“sync up” demonstrates jeremy’s weird relationship with empathy. he wants to be nice to everyone- will has even called him “deeply empathetic”- but he’s initially really bad at seeing other people’s point of view, which is why he positions himself as sort of against the world, seeing everyone as better than him or trying to set up these barriers of Coolness where everyone else must be perfect compared to him. he’s so surprised to learn that the popular kids also hurt because of his strict idea of the social structure. it’s a combination of low self esteem and a black-and-white viewpoint.

let’s go back to christine. the squip, already established as ableist abuser, finds her “highly unusual” for acting in a way that disregards everyone who views her. she has very strange and specific visions in her head, and it seems very natural for her even if jeremy struggles to follow along.

in later performances, she chews on her sleeve and spins around during AGTIKBI. that’s stimming, babes. also gotta acknowledge “i don’t always relate to other people my age, except when i’m on the stage”

i’m gonna use this section to talk about jake and christine. christineis a bit unsure when interacting with jake, until he validates her interest- her acting is what really touches him. but jake, while good-hearted, has trouble being self-centered and thus not fully aware of christine’s own needs and space. so christine is always a little uncomfortable around him, especially in public, and not always willing to socialize. he is right about her being kind of stuck in her comfort zone, though, not doing anything off of her stage. and he is genuinely nice to her, it’s just a matter of their social strategies clashing.

the fact that the squip blocks out michael...i’ve had a lot of times in my life where i was told that socializing with other “weird” people would be counterproductive for my social development and it was part of why i was stuck with so few friends. so i really feel the idea that blocking out the person who helps you feel confident in your atypicality is framed as a good thing so you can act more socially adept, and that doing otherwise would just drag you both down.

hot DAMN does “loser geek whatever” make so much sense for an autistic kid with internalized ableism.

“it’s not only school that’s rough, being lonely’s stupid tough” makes it pretty clear this isn’t about the school social scene as muc as it is the entire social scene of the world. we may not see it, but it’s just (not) interacting with people in general that jeremy can’t stand.

“michael says that weird is rad but feeling weird just makes me sad” as stated above, makes a Lot More Sense with the idea that michael is both a more confident autistic and really bad at addressing jeremy’s own internalized ableism and desire to make connections outside his small friend group.

everything about jeremy boiling down all his problems to his “instincts” sucking and needing to basically be told what to do really highlights how autistic kids can feel broken because of their inability to fit into the social norm, to the point where we repress every behavior that actually makes us feel comfortable and unique. 

not to mention the line about him being seen as a “normal handsome guy” since autistic people tend to be infantilized and never seen as desirable (will roland also implied this line has trans coding which is another discussion altogether but i feel i should acknowledge that here)

all of those terms that jeremy calls himself near the end- namely weirdo, misfit, oddball, freak, failure- all of this sounds like the shit people throw at autistic kids. like this goes beyond anxiety alone, this is jeremy being outcasted and oppressed by the general public due to his behavior. especially the “please don’t speak” part, considering how often autistic kids are mocked for misunderstanding when to speak, how to speak, and what to talk about. jeremy needs some freaking love. :(

“michael in the bathroom” is a panic attack, related to severe anxiety, but i do see a lot of aspects that play into autism as well. the little nervous stimmy movements of foot-bouncing and picking at grout, the explosive sensory overload during the “knock knock” section of the bridge, the whole concept of losing the only person you ever managed to connect to without sacrificing who you are, dealing with this massive change to your sense of philosophy and reality where you pinned everything on one person to ground yourself, and thus you’re now completely lost trying to isolate yourself from this big overwhelming social gathering...neurodivergent anthem all around.

jeremy and christine’s couch interactions during halloween give me such autistic positivity. christine basically echolales jeremy’s weird noise and they both have so much fun vocal stimming that they forget there’s another person in the room. it’s such a sweet moment until jeremy ruins it by realizing that asking her out right after a breakup is Not Really Good For Her.

christine’s reaction to the fire demonstrates a clear case of hyperempathy to me. it isn’t discussed as much as a complete lack of empathy, but autistic folks are prone to feeling way too much especially when it comes to others’ pain. christine talking about how she hates that everyone’s hurting and desperately wants to help but doesn’t know how, and how we’ve already seen how much she struggles to connect with others like jake....it’s a very relatable, very specific autistic mood.

going back to the theme of jeremy and empathy, christine’s above hyperempathy kind of breaks this mold, and while jeremy always does feel for the other kids, by this point he feels so strongly- particularly for christine, who he also saw as a perfect confident being until now- that the squip can manipulate him into “fixing” everyone the same way the squip was supposed to “fix” him. and he never considers that christine doesn’t need to be fixed because he just projects his own insecurity that strongly onto everyone else who seems “weird” in the same kind of way- hence why he assumes michael is jealous of him back in MITB. it’s likely a result of the squip’s manipulation but i feel like mind-blindness is a factor, even if jeremy switches between struggling to process others’ emotions and being extremely empathetic.

michael’s special interest saves the day!!! :D

the whole fight b/w jeremy and michael, assuming it comes from a genuine place of repressed bitterness, has a lot of added subtext with them both being autistic. jeremy accusing michael of “giving up” on social interaction, michael envies jeremy for trying bc michael is clearly Not comfortable in most large social settings, jeremy envies michael for his pride, it just hits home for me i guess

rich calling michael “antisocial headphones kid” honestly how is michael not canon autistic

in the off-bway version michael briefly speaks too loud forgetting that jeremy’s head still hurts which is a relatable Forgot About Boundaries thing. plus him smacking rich playfully forgetting that rich is Still In Pain

“voices in my head” works nice as a fuck-societal-norms-and-just-be-happy song. “embrace the traits that make you so odd” in particular :’)

jeremy remembering christine’s infodump about her obscure bowling alley performance art idea and bringing it up to her again!!!

the squip doesn’t go away because ableism and the anxiety it brings and all the upsetting symptoms of autism don’t go away, but with the right support and confidence you can live with them!!! good message for mental disorders in general and works very well in this context!!!

so in conclusion.....be more chill is autistic pride!!!

[cleverbroadwayurl]

Conspiracy (Jeremy Heere x Reader Pt. 25)

Song: Conspiracy by Paramore

Word Count: 3761

Need to Catch Up? Check out my masterlist! 

A/N: Oh my god I finally did it. I’m so sorry this took months but that’s because my courses right now are really hard and take about 8 hours a week of studying per class (aka 40 hours a week of studying total). But I’m on break right now, so please enjoy! I will try to have more out soon! 

Taglist: @macbookpro-hard-drive​ @catatonic-kuragin​ @retrogarden​ @be-more-heidi-hansen​ @scarsonthecuffsofyourjeans​ @stargirl-murphy​ @heytheredee-lilah​ 

Trigger Warnings: LANGUAGE, Angst, mentions of an abusive boyfriend, mentions of abuse, Jeremy crying, implication of stalking, implication of assault, IF I MISSED ANYTHING ELSE PLEASE LET ME KNOW

Jeremy can feel his phone vibrate, expecting a text from you, telling him that you’d made it home okay. He can feel a sense of surprise go across his face at the contact, and even more so at the message over and over again. 

Rich: We need to talk. 

Jeremy walked into his room and fell onto his bed, hands gripping his phone as he did so. Subconsciously, he’d closed the door, and was secure in his room, head still reeling, face still pale as he remembered the look you gave him on his doorstep. That wasn’t a comfort, and neither was this text from Rich, which spiked his anxiety tenfold. He didn’t think that was possible, images of you accidentally not paying attention for a split second and losing you forever plaguing his mind. He’d been so close to losing you before, but this…was a cruel act of fate as you stepped away from him again.

Laying on his bed, Jeremy got another text from Rich, his phone the only sound vibrating into the space. He reluctantly looked at his phone, the notification as haunting as the first one, each one seeming more panicked than the last. Jeremy could feel shivers crackle down his spine, hands not feeling like his own as he opened his phone with a fingerprint scanner—thank god Apple had incorporated that.

His read receipts were on, he always forgot about that. So Rich knew that he had read the last text, and now the one that came, and the ones that he assured were coming soon.

Rich: dude, can we talk? Just for a second. I promise I’ll be fast

Jeremy’s hands are already uneasy as he types, unsure how the letters are falling in place correctly. He’s seeing the motion, knows it’s happening, but doesn’t seem to place that it’s his hands doing the movement.

Jeremy: Uhh sure, what’s up?

He regrets it. Jeremy knows he’s in no state to even listen to another person’s problems right now, visions of so much passing through his brain in a flash. What if your ex texted you? What if you can’t get home safely, but were too embarrassed to tell him? What if you were parked at some gas station, just crying your eyes out? The images pass quickly, but somehow, Rich can type faster. It feels like a distraction at this point, but Jeremy didn’t need this kind of placement of focus. He needed something to relax him, something to reassure him.

Rich: Do you have a second to like…talk? On the phone? Typing is weird.

Jeremy sighs, but nothing is still. His heart is pounding so loud that Jeremy can hear its echo in his ears, legs stiff as he leans his back against the wall, sitting up to physically prepare him for this conversation that was heavily contributing to the sweat on his palms, unable to focus on anything.

Rich is quick, Jeremy is still fascinated by that. Maybe he was just moving that much slower, mind teasing daydreams turning into nightmares within frames of them starting. The phone is still vibrating, and it feels like it’s been buzzing for eternities. That was enough confirmation. Jeremy was just working through problems as if he were running in water, feet not on the ground. Finally, he feels the courage to pick up, to say something, even though he’s sure that his voice will shake. “Hello?”

“Jeremy, thank fuck. This has been on my mind for weeks and I literally don’t have anyone else who would know what the fuck is going on right now.”

Right away, Jeremy can sense that Rich is in trouble. The ramble has Jeremy’s mind resorting to nervousness, but not the healthy amount. This has been going on for days, it’s clear as Rich continues speaking, not seeming to breathe between sentences, the enhanced amount of “fuck”s, voice hoarse with each passing syllable—this is bad, even for Rich.

“What’s up?”

“Oh my god there was this girl here in Metuchen, someone you’ve never met or seen before, and I swear I didn’t do anything, but like, I don’t even know where to begin, you know? Fuck Jeremy, this is awful, I feel like I haven’t slept in days or slept too much and all I can think about is her, even though we barely even fucking talked and I have no idea what’s she’s up to or if she got home okay—”

“Get to the point, Rich.”

Jeremy didn’t mean to snap, but his eyes had glanced over his digital alarm clock, noticing that you should’ve gotten home a while ago. The reminder that Rich spit into existence didn’t help his case either. Jeremy could feel the lump in his throat form, breaths getting shaky. You had been in such trouble, in and out of reality, maybe you’d been followed home by that shitty little red speedster, which could only remind Jeremy of almost a year ago, lights flashing, nights in sterile rooms, eyes falling into sleep, FRIENDS in the background, his fucking blue sweater, and now everything is crumbling, he just lost—

“Jeremy, you good?”

“Yeah. Yeah, sorry. Can you say that again? My dad called me for something and I couldn’t focus.”

It was a lie, but an easy cover-up. He knew that his dad wouldn’t mind being the bad guy when Jeremy needed an out. He’d mentioned that when Jeremy had gone off to college if he was ever pressured into drinking or going out or some other thing.  

“Uhh yeah. So on the night of Brooke’s backyard party, I split early because…because I had previous commitments. But I was out of gas so I stopped at the Wawa off of the I-95. I went inside the Wawa to grab some stuff and I accidentally bumped into his girl—the one I mentioned who isn’t from around here. She mentioned that she was alone, her friend abandoned her at this Wawa, and I couldn’t just leave her alone, right?”

“Yeah, that makes sense.”

“Right. So, I took her home—”

“Rich”

“I promise I didn’t sleep with her! She was lonely and needed a place to stay, and I swear, I’m not like that anymore. Haven’t been for years, not since the SQUIP thing. It just brings up too many…yeah. But I got her stuff for the next day until she could get on her flight in a few days, Christine agreed to see a show with her, Waitress, I think. She posted on Instagram?”

“Christine? Yeah. I didn’t know you knew that girl.”

“Yeah. She’s my…friend. But Christine really likes her, and I think they had a really good time.”

“That’s good.” Although the conversation is going, Jeremy’s been watching time tick past, mind just blurring over each word, grazing the surface and not searching for anything deeper. He swipes down to see his notifications—nothing yet. It’s at times like these that Jeremy wished you’d let him see your location. He understood that it was absolutely an invasion of privacy, but—no that was selfish. Maybe you’d gotten caught up with someone, or maybe you’d already gotten home. Then why didn’t you text him? Jeremy’s fists ball up his comforter, the colon on his clock blinking with each second, and he’s practically counting each one. Rich becomes white noise to his worry, face still pale as the room gets darker.

“I don’t know—dude, it’s stupid, but—I think. I think I might be a little in love with her.”

Jeremy’s eyes immediately widened, and suddenly the world gets put into hyperspeed. “What?!”

“But she’s from Florida, and—”

“Rich, you’re in love with her?”

“I don’t know!”

“Shit, dude. I get it.”

“That’s what I mean. You are the only person who gets it, at least that I know of.”

“Yeah…I guess I am.”

“Exactly.”

“But now she’s so far away, and—”

“You feel like you can’t focus or sleep.”

“Yeah.”

“Rich, dude, you gotta talk to her.”

“Hypocrite.” It’s a laugh, a joke, something that Jeremy knows hasn’t happened for days. He recalls every night he spent in his dorm, Michael sleeping soundly, as Jeremy tosses and turns, mind racing and hoping for a sign that you’re okay. Dusk begins to turn into twilight, and he hopes that you’re okay. God, he’s about to be sent into that state now, just from you not being home, that something is wrong, he knows it.

“Fair.” It’s emotionless as it comes from Jeremy, realizing the reality of everything. He was going to have to cut Rich off to make sure you were okay. A life was…as much as he hated to say it, more important than this.

“But I can’t talk to her. What would I do after that?”

“You could go long distance.”

“I met her for two days, Jeremy.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ve also heard long distance is hard even for people who have been together for a year, so that might not…work.”

“Exactly.”

“You should still tell her, you know? She deserves to know, and it might feel good to get it off of your chest.”

“Yes, but she’s also in Florida.”

“Yeah, true.”

There’s another pause, and Jeremy can hear the blankets on the other end of the line shift. Rich was in bed, probably had been for days, and Jeremy’s heart sunk even more; this wasn’t like Rich. This was…bad.

But the preoccupation of you still haunted him. It was entirely possible that you’d been hunted down by your ex-boyfriend. Jeremy’s memories of “don’t drive to my house, he knows where I live—” ringing in his head. Your ex was forgetful in the way that all abusers are. They forget needs but remember the parts of your life to torment you, remember to lie in order to get you to feel crazy. He remembered where you lived after two times of ever going to your house, and that, even to Jeremy, was the most frightening thing that could be remembered. He opens messages, eyes flicking to your conversation, hoping for at least the typing symbol to appear.

Nothing. Thirty minutes, and nothing from you. His heart raced and palms began to sweat, shivers running down Jeremy’s spine. As much as Rich wasn’t himself, this wasn’t like you either. The shifting stopped, but the panic that forced Jeremy to enter a world of hurt was just beginning. He was about to end the call with Rich to see if you were okay, but then again, if you had gotten caught with your ex, and he called, that could also be bad, for reasons he didn’t want to think about. The light from the summer day drifted into nighttime, heat going down outside, but rising in Jeremy. Just as Jeremy is about to say something to Rich to get him to hang up, the line picks up.

“Hey Jeremy?”

“Yeah?” It came out harsh and rushed, but he really couldn’t help it. Panic controlled him now.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You uhh…seem really distant.”

He inhales, trying his best to maintain composure while talking to his friend. If he can’t do that, he might as well drive to your house and make sure that you got home safely, and if not, drive around town until you were found. “Oh uh, yeah. I just got back from a date with (y/n) and they uhh haven’t texted me that they got home safely. I’m starting to get really worried about it.”

“Starting? Dude, it’s been the entire time.” He pauses for a second, letting the sentence hang in open air. “But I’m sure they’re okay, it was just a what, 10-minute drive?”

Jeremy stiffened. A 10-minute drive right now could be death. You could’ve not seen a red light and collided with someone. You could have been run off of the road. The last moments you were here with distracted, unsure, and panicky. This was not just a drive home. It was a fatal quest. But he couldn’t tell Rich that, this wasn’t about Jeremy right now. This was about Rich and his Florida girl and his feelings towards her. He had to get the topic off of this. “Yeah.”

“How is everything with them, by the way? I’ve been uhh…talking a lot and I just realized that you really haven’t gotten the chance to say anything.”

“It’s going well. Just some…stuff happened on our date.” It wasn’t fair to you to go into what had happened. Yes, Rich knew, but he didn’t know everything that Jeremy had seen. He didn’t know about the sleepless nights, the apologies, the times you were so scared you could barely even make physical contact, the moments of guilt over something you had no control over. Rich knew the technicalities, Jeremy knew the truths.

“Are you okay? Do you need me to drive over there now?”

“No, it’s okay. I’m more worried about them.” It was nice of Rich to offer to drive from Elizabeth to Metuchen, but unnecessary. Plus, it would mean Jeremy would have to tell the whole truth, which was something that he wasn’t comfortable with. It was your story, one you’d mentioned in previous times that you were embarrassed about. You’d requested to not share photos with your ex, that you regretted every moment. You requested something like a restart, but this time, with a lot more boundaries, and unfortunately, experiences you’d like to forget.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Jeremy took another breath. The answer was yes, but he really wasn’t sure how to approach it. But since Rich knew, it might be better to have him on your side. You knew that Rich understood what was going on. It was in another private moment that you’d confessed when Rich witnessed your ex-boyfriend slam doors in your face, only to have Rich open them again, trying his hardest to not make it seem like he was flirting through trying to be friendly, but still be someone you could trust, even if he was just on the sidelines. It wasn’t like Rich was a stranger to you…and it might be good to spread it around that Jeremy’s partner can’t go to this grocery store. “We uhh went to that giant strip mall not too far from here.”

“That’s awesome, dude. Good date idea.”

“Yeah, and we like, both had a good time for the first part of it. But their mom wanted us to get her something from that grocery store over there. The really expensive one but has like…stuff you can’t get anywhere else?”

“At the end of the strip mall by Starbucks and Cold Stone?”

“Yeah.” Jeremy takes a shaky breath, dreading to relive the moments he’d just gone through with you and to have his mind completely blocked out by memory. Keeping calm was out of the question at this point, anger and worry boiling to Jeremy’s breaking point, tears threatening in his eyes to flood onto his face. “And their ex works there, Rich. We saw him two feet away from us. We booked it out of there after we paid, but I had to drive myself home Rich, in their car. They couldn’t even feel their hands. And now they aren’t texting me that they made it home safely and I’m—”

The text tone rings out, an apology from you finally in Jeremy’s hands.

You: Sorry about being so late, my mom wanted her groceries and I wanted to take a shower to try and calm down with some alone time with no disturbances.

Jeremy: Thank god you’re okay. You’re fine, please get some rest

Just as Jeremy sends the text back to you, a “FUCK” rings out from Rich’s side of the call. There’s an obvious door slam, but the shout still sounds distant from the phone. Rich must have gotten up.

“Rich? You okay?”

“Dude, I’m so sorry.”

“What for? I just got their text, you don’t need to leave, they just took a shower and forgot to text, which, they were really out of it, so I can’t really blame them for it.”

“Jeremy, you’re going to be really pissed.”

“What? Rich, no. I don’t have anything to be mad about.”

“Dude, no, you’re going to be mad. I don’t even know how to…explain this.”

“What do you mean?”

“Jeremy, I knew.”

“Knew? What are you talking about?”

“I knew that he worked there, Jeremy, but—”

At this point, nothing gets through Jeremy’s ears. Worry turns to anger and before he can even think, Jeremy opens his mouth and starts yelling over Rich. No excuse, none, is okay to forget something this fucking big.

“What the fuck, Rich?”

“Dude—”

“No, really! What the FUCK, Richard?! What the fuck could make you forget about something like this?”

“Jer—”

“It’s their EX, Rich! The same fucking one who—”

“I know! Fuck dude, I already feel so fucking awful for forgetting.”

“Oh, you feel awful? How do you fucking think it felt to be standing there with my partner so fucking scared they can’t even move? How do you justify that, Richard? Huh?”

The line is quiet for a second, and Jeremy can hear himself breath, heart ringing in his ears. He can feel his entire body heave with every inhale, eyes blurry, hands sweaty. This entire thing could’ve been avoided if Rich hadn’t forgotten about a very important detail. For a minute or two, Jeremy thinks Rich hung up, tired of hearing him yell about this. But it was justified. This was a big fucking deal that could’ve ended in death. Did Rich just not see that or—

“Okay, Jeremy. You gotta fucking promise me that you’re going to take a second and calm down.”

“I don’t even—”

“Jeremiah Heere.”

Initially, Jeremy removed the phone from his ear, thinking his dad had called him downstairs for “using so much foul language”. It’s quiet in the house, however, as Jeremy’s dad usually calls more than once for him. The silence is enough to tell Jeremy that it was Rich who had suddenly sounded like a parent to him, calling him by his full name, something usually only his dad does. The snap back into reality hits him hard, causing an exhale, and a step back. “Alright.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah.”

“So, Florida girl.”

“Does she have a name?”

“I’m getting there. Florida girl. She had…there was a lot that happened, okay? It’s not really…my thing to tell, but just…trust me, dude, it was a lot. There was stuff with her best frie—former best friend and…it just really got to her, which is completely understandable, and we uhh saw Christine for a bit and that uhh helped, I thought at least, and then we went to go and get groceries since Gabe asked us to.” There’s a pause here, a deep breath passes through the speaker, almost as if Rich is too afraid to talk about the next part of the explanation. “We uhh…we got back to my place…and I put the truck in park…you remember the truck…and she-she like…”

Another pause hits, this time longer and shakier than the last. A good thirty seconds goes by of nothing, before Jeremy finally says something, seeing if he’s still on the line. “Rich?”

“Yeah, uhh…we basically made out before—y’know, I uh, had to stop her since…it’s…she-she didn’t want that. She was really upset…and uh, since that happened, it…it honestly just slipped my mind, Jeremy. I’m so sorry, dude.”

As much as reality hurt, Jeremy was sent back to the past. This was a case he was somewhat familiar with. When you came over that very first time, with you being so upset, there had been shared kisses, there had been implications of moving forward, but Jeremy stopped them. The second time it happened, you had stopped them from previous trauma. He didn’t move forward because it wasn’t healthy, and with you dissociating, it wasn’t consensual, even if it was just kissing. The concept, the scenario, everything was familiar to Jeremy. The act of wanting to feel something good and being so desperate for happiness was something you’d been trying to achieve over a year ago. Jeremy could understand how something so big slipped his mind.

That being said, historically, Rich has been one to use that to his advantage. Although things seemed better now, Jeremy was still unsure that it was just…left with that; that Rich had dropped any idea of taking advantage after this encounter. Sure, the SQUIP was gone, but Rich also sounded upset, so he could’ve…done it later. He had to say something, anything, to clear the air and make sure that things ended at least somewhat okay. If they didn’t, Jeremy would hang up. If they did…that would be a discussion for later.

“So, you didn’t…?”

“Fuck dude, no way. She just slept in my room and I took the couch. I wanted her to be safe…you know? That…would not have been safe.”

“Alright.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I think so.”

“Are we…are we good?”

“I think so. Uhh sorry about—”

“No, Jeremy, you had every reason to be mad. I’m mad at myself for forgetting.”

“But you had—”

“Yeah.”

There’s another pause, the conversation starting to end as both ends of the call calm down. “Hey Jeremy?”

“Yeah?”

“I should uh, go. Gabe made food, and I have stuff I have to do, but I’m so sorry. I don’t think I can say it enough.”

“I accept the apology, Rich.”

“Thanks, Jeremy.”

“Of course. Let me know when you have a day free. I feel like…we need to catch up.”

“I’ll keep you posted.”

“Bye.”

“See ya.”

The call ends with a click, an hour and a half going by easily. He’d have to tell you what Rich said, of course, but the conversation should be in person so that Jeremy can express what was happening without being too telling of the mystery girl. Night is in full swing as Jeremy pulls out his phone, texting you again.

Jeremy: Are you feeling any better?

You: Yeah. Just playing Life is Strange. I’m so sorry about dinner

Jeremy: Don’t worry about it, okay? We can make it up a different day.

You: Are you sure?

Jeremy: Positive.

You: You’re so sweet, thank you so much for being there for me and not…getting really mad that we have to postpone it.

Jeremy: You can’t control something like that. I don’t expect you to. It’s one date. We can go whenever we both feel comfortable with it.

You: Call you tomorrow?

Jeremy: Yeah. Jeremy: I care about you a lot, so please get some rest, okay? Don’t stress about today, and if anything happens, I’m here.

You: Thank you, Jer. You too.

[eepwritesstuff]

In His Arms || BMC

TTW: Major character death. If this may trigger you, please do not read this! (if it won’t, I promise it ends okay.)

Jeremy POV:

I feel my eyes snap open and my breathing get fast. A scream forces its way from my throat, without me even knowing why. What... happened last night? All I remember is...

Fire. Rich. He... he set a fire. My own screams, desperate, trying to escape the blaze. And I had... Failed?

No. That doesn’t make sense. Surely, I’m alive, and I got out. But... That’s not what I remember. I remember being burned alive, my skin burning, the smell of burning and melting skin wafting to my nose until the pain became too much and I passed out.

Had I stayed there? If so, there’s no way I was still alive. So... The question stood. Where was I?

I sit up and see... Michael’s room? And there’s Michael, laying on his bed. He’s wearing his shirt from last night, but he has tear stains on his face. I feel really guilty. I hadn’t meant to call him a loser. I was just stressed, and scared, and I lashed out.

I walk over to him and try to wake him up. “Hey... Michael...” I whisper, shaking him. But my arm went through him. Oh. Oh no. OH GOD, WHAT WILL I DO?

I CAN’T BE A    G H O S T.    I CAN’T BE DEAD.

As I panic, Michael slowly wakes up, groaning miserably. I wave my hand in front of his face. “Michael, please, you have to hear me, you have to be able to see me, please, I’m so sorry, just see me, please see me-” I beg, but he doesn’t hear. Instead, he slowly gets up and turns on his phone. I sit next to him, hyperventilating. 

As he turns it on, he’s bombarded with notifications. All about last night, the fire. He immediately looks it up on google, seeing the articles and posts. He lands on a news article and reads through it. There’s a list of the people claimed by the fire. He scrolls through, seeing name after name. Richard Goranski. Jake Dillinger. Dustin Kropp. Madeline Cornfeldt. He stops when he sees a certain name, gasping and whispering, “No...” And, there it is. Jeremiah Heere.

He starts shaking, pulling his knees up to his chest as tears well up in his eyes. “No, no, nonono... This can’t be right, please let this be a joke, Jeremy can’t be” his voice cracked. “Don’t let him be- he’s gotta be okay. He’s always been okay. He’s always been there. Don’t let him be gone, foreve-” His sobs cut him off as he breaks. As he’s breaking, I am too. I’m dead. I never got to tell him. I never got to apologize. The last thing I said to him before- I called him a loser. All he has now is that memory, over and over, and I can’t do anything.

He sobs for hours, inconsolable, and I’m right beside him. I’m sobbing, and so is he, and there’s nothing either of us can do to help each other.

Eventually, our tears stop. He pulls out his computer and begins typing frantically. I look over his shoulder. He’s looking up something on Google, and he’s muttering stuff under his breath. Stuff like, “C’mon, c’mon...” and “It’s gotta work...” I look at what he’s looking at. It’s a website... About SQUIPs? I thought there’s no information about them online? Well, apparently there is, because Michael’s looking at it. Specifically, the protection measures that SQUIPs use to protect the host body. Apparently, they stop at nothing, even self destruction, to keep the host body in tact. It explains all the cases in which the host, and the SQUIP, were found dead, but the body itself was perfectly intact. Protecting the body like this uses all of the SQUIP’s capacity and ultimately kills it, but the body stays perfectly in tact. I’m confused as to what Michael is planning on doing with this information. Of course, I can’t actually ask him, so I just sit here and wait as he researches for hours on end, not even eating.

Now, it’s around 3 pm, and his stomach growls. he ignores it and keeps working. “JUST EAT, ALREADY. YOU DON’T WANT TO DIE, TOO!” I scream, in frustration.

He sits straight up, eyes wide as he frantically looks around the room. “J-Jer?” He whispers, hope in his voice. I try to respond. “Michael, yes, I’m here! How did you hear me?” His expression drops as he shakes his head. “I’m losing it, he isn’t actually here. I mean, c’mon, Mell. This isn’t Apocalypse of the Damned, there’s no spectator portion after you die. He’s gone. But he doesn’t have to be. Just get back to work.” I narrow my eyes at him, even though he can’t see me. He can’t die, he doesn’t deserve to. At this rate, he will within a few days, out of exhaustion and lack of food. I try again, focusing everything I have on saving Michael. “Michael. I’m not joking, go eat now. Please, you can’t die too...” His head shoots up again, and his hands shake. “Jer... You’re here? How? Are you okay?” I try doing what I did last time, but it’s difficult. “I’m here. Don’t know how. I’m sorry.” Michael’s lip wobbles and a tear rolls down his cheek. He hastily wipes it away, letting out a watery laugh. “Heh, sorry... I just- I thought you were lost, for good.” I can’t help it as a tear runs down my own cheek. I force out more words, already exhausted by the effort it takes. “Missed you. It’s, uh... Really hard to talk, though.” My voice wobbles, and we both know why, but he kindly doesn’t mention it. He nods. “Understandable. Guess I have to go get food now, huh?” I nod in response, even though he can’t see. He sighs and stands, groaning and stretching. He then walks towards the door, and I follow, feeling satisfied.

After he eats a good meal, we both go back upstairs to his room. He gets back on his computer, now looking into people at our school who might practice... necromancy? Oh, Michael... Wait. That could actually work. My body is still in tact, and if somehow, dark magic works, I can... I can live again! I mean, weirder thing have happened. Y’know. Supercomputer, and all. I feel hopeful, for the first time since I woke up like this. Maybe I won’t be stuck like this forever. I don’t just feel hopeful. I feel ecstatic. I don’t even notice, but I start glowing. I don’t notice, until Michael is suddenly looking at me. “Jer? Is... Is that really you?” He murmurs, swallowing hard. Tears brim his eyes as he stares directly at me. “Wait. You can see me? Holy shit. Hi.” I say, feeling stupid, but also I’d missed him. He smiles widely, his tears rolling down his cheeks. “Yeah!” He sniffles. “Hi. I miss you, like... A lot.” He uses his fist to roughly wipe away his tears. ”Yeah... Sorry, Micha. I should have- I shouldn’t have taken the SQUIP, I should have talked to you, I should’ve gotten out-” Michael cuts me off. “No, Jer, don’t blame yourself. Don’t you DARE blame yourself.” He shakes his head frantically. “It’s not your fault, okay? I can’t hear you blaming yourself. We’re gonna fix this, okay?” I nod, feeling a lump in my throat. “Yeah. Sorry. Thank you, for everything. You’re... Really amazing, Michael.” A tear rolls down my face. “What was I supposed to do, just leave you d-” he whispers, as if it’s taboo. “dead?” He gives a weak smile. “Besides, it’s a two player game, right?” I bite my lip. “I ruined that, though, Michael. I left you behind.” He shakes his head. “No, you didn’t. I get it, really. I just want to get you back. I want to hug you, and look at you without seeing through you.” I nod. “Yeah, a hug sounds... really, really good right now.” I feel a pain in my chest, but I sit next to him as he grabs his computer and keeps researching. 

Eventually, my glow dims until I’m barely visible, but I’m still here. Michael works hard researching, with the occasional witty comment, which always earn a laugh from me. He smiles every time, like he’d never get tired of my laugh.

After hours, he smiles widely. “EUREKA!” I jump. “Wait- REALLY?” my glow starts up again, brighter than before. He nods. “Yeah! Jer, we can bring you back!” I smile, hope running through my veins again. “Oh, Michael, I- how will I ever repay you?” He shakes his head, still smiling. “No, Jer, don’t repay me, really. Just having you okay again will be enough for me.” I smile, feeling tears prick my eyes. “God, Micha. I’m gonna give you the biggest hug, as soon as I can.” Michael smiles. “By my best guess, that would be tomorrow!” I grin. “I can’t wait.” I feel myself getting choked up and I sniffle. Michael’s gaze softens as he looks at me. “Hey. It’ll be okay, Jer. This whole nightmare- it’ll be over soon.” I nod, trying not to cry for what must be the hundredth time these past few days. “Y-yeah. Thanks. God, Micha. It’ll be over. I-I can’t believe it. I- Thank you.” He gives me a sideways smile. “Anything for you, Jer.” I meet his smile with one of my own, trying to suppress the feeling in my chest. Not now.

The next day, we go to the site where the fire had been. We’re both quiet as wee see the place where so many of our peers, including myself, lost our lives. Michael clears his throat. “Uh, do you know where you would... where you, uh... were?” He says awkwardly. I know what he means, so I nod. “Uh... Yeah. Follow me.” I walk through the rubble, retracing my steps. That night... I had come in, talked with Brooke, blown up at Michael... I had gone to try to find a quiet place to break down; I felt bad because of how I’d treated Michael, but I didn’t want to see him cry. I figured that I’d have forever to tell him, to apologize.

I find the room I had been in when the fire started. I push down the tears that are threatening to come to my eyes. It’ll be okay, Michael is gonna fix it. I remind myself. Michael starts digging through the rubble, trying to find my body. He tries to hide it, but I hear his breathing get rough and he starts to cry as a brown curl appears in the rubble. He digs more off of my body, sobbing at this point, and it takes all of my resolve not to vomit at seeing myself. My own dead body. I rush forward and put my arms around Michael. Even if he can’t feel me, I just want him to know I’m here for him. He swallows heavily and hugs my- dirty, but otherwise perfectly fine- body. He sits there for several minutes, just crying and hugging my body. Sometimes he whimpers, but he mostly just cries and holds my body close.

Eventually, he picks up my body and brings it to the car. He lays it down in the back seats and I sit in the passenger’s seat. He climbs into the driver’s seat and takes a deep breath.

“Look, Jer, I know that, like, you’re here and all... But that was honestly the worst thing I’ve ever had to do, and I hope to God I never have to do anything similar ever again. Just... Seeing your body, but you’re not in it, and I know you’re not. It hurt, a lot. Like, worse than anything you could’ve done while you were alive.” He speaks, staring out the windshield. I nod, trying to level out my voice before I speak. “Y-yeah. I’m sorry, Micha. I know you don’t want me to apologize, but I really am so sorry. You’ve been put through so so much, and I hate that you have to deal with any of this, when I can’t offer much comfort. I can’t give you a hug, I can’t put my hand on your shoulder, I can’t hold your h- I can’t, uh, grab you a slushie...” I trail off, flustered from my weak attempt at covering my blunder. Michael gave a weak smile. “Hey, it’ll all be okay. In just an hour, you will be able to do all of that stuff. I’ll hold ya to it.” We give each other small smiles, kindly ignoring the other’s tear stained face.

An hour later, we were back at Michael’s house, and my body was lain on his bed. Michael washed its- my?- face with a wash cloth, wiping away the soot and dirt. He also put it in new clothes, considering mine from that night were dirty and partially burned away. He still had some of my things from when I’d slept over and left things, so he put my body in one of my old Star Wars shirts, a pair of jeans, and a blue cardigan. After all of this was done, he gulps, looking towards me. “You ready to be alive again, Jer?” He asks. I nod frantically. “Yeah, pretty ready, Micha.” He gives a small chuckle and begins on the spell. He says some words I don’t understand, and my ghost-self starts to dim. I feel myself being pulled into my body. He says some more, and I turn invisible again. He speaks some more, and I’m in my body. Wait. I”M IN MY BODY! HELL YEAH!

I snap open my eyes and sit up, not prepared for the overwhelming rush of vertigo that it causes. “MICHAE- ow...” I hold my head. Michael rushes forward. “JEREMY! Oh my god, dude! Wait, are you okay?” I nod, blinking hard. “Yeah, just a little... disoriented.” I open my eyes and look him in the eye. My eyes start filling with tears. “God, Michael, I-” I fling myself at him, holding him close. He quickly hugs back, sniffling. “You’re okay.. Oh, thank god, you’re okay, you’re here now, this is you again.” I smile, feeling tears roll down my face. “Yeah, it’s me. Th-thank you. I love you so much, you know?” He stills before nodding. “I love you, too. When I thought you were gone, I just- I didn’t know what to do. But you’re okay now, and I can hold you again and it’ll be you...” I nod, just feeling his embrace and welcoming it. We’d have time to iron out what we were and everything else, but for now I wanted to just feel safe, and warm, and loved, and happy. Here, in Michael’s arms.

[ask-readyplayergaymers]

((Mod post!! Gonna answer some questions for me that have been sitting around for a while, sorry the response is so late ;w;

Everything’s under the cut to save space 0w0 ))

Anonymous said: Okay but totally loving the concept of Michael as Gil and Jeremy as Oz??? Like, freaking Alice is Christine (even tho its totally a personality clash apart from the childish aspect but shhhh) and just yes

YEAH MAN...any type of PH crossover is good hhh but GOSH imagine Michael like. After growing up and spending ten years looking for Jeremy like Gil did ahh my heart aches!! And Jeremy coming back pouting like “You’re taller than me now that’s totally not fair, M” Christine would make a really cute Alice I think, just seeing her dress up like Alice and having her kick ass as the B-Rabbit?! Hell yeah!

zekromztk2 said: Out of all of the Pandora Hearts characters, who is your favorite? Mine is... probably either Alice or Oz

HELL I LOVE GILBERT I’D DIE FOR THAT MAN LEGIT;; I love Oz and Break a lot too and! RUFUS BARMA AS WELL I ADORE HIM

Anonymous said: did I hear Harry Potter?

Ye man talk to me about the Marauder days any time I love talking about Sirius, James and Remus getting into shenanigans at Hogwarts hoo boy

Anonymous said: (Hey mod, so basically Jake and Rich are just gonna be background characters with kind of their own stories?)

Yes! Jeremy and Michael are the main focus here, but Jake and Rich sort of have their own thing going on in the background as more minor characters to the overall blog! I want to make a more developed backstory for the treasure hunter girls and Christine as well, so we’ll see how that goes~

Anonymous said: Thank you so much for introducing the novel this AU is based on to me!! Now that I've finished reading, I understand a lot more about this AU and now I want to ask... Would you consider Mr. Heere/Reyes as Morrow?

You’re very welcome, it’s a great novel so! I’m glad more people are reading it after having run into this blog, I must spread the pureness that is Aech to all of humanity //shakes fists And yes! Mr. Reyes is Morrow, I can imagine him sort of contributing to the hunt with lots of theater related things, which Christine specializes in! Book!Squip is Halliday, and there’s actually a little more about that and his relationship with Jeremy that I want to get into later.

Anonymous said: ((I had literally never heard of ready player one but I lov this blog so much I actually went out and bought it. Consider me murdled dead))

Yeah man like;; I didn’t read the novel until this past summer and after that I just got so into it and BMC at the same time so? I combined the two and here we are! Aaah I’m so glad!! Like I’ve said before I love it when people come tell me they went out to buy the novel and read it because of me, it makes me so happy :’) Hjrhjd please don’t die lol

emibeani said: ((I just finished reading Ready Player One, and thank you so much for this blog.))

I’m glad to hear it!! And you’re very welcome, I honestly didn’t expect so many people to get into but I’m super appreciative of all the interest you guys have shown so far so?? Thank you!!

Anonymous said: THIS IS NOT A ASK, BUT, OMG, THIS AU IS FUCKING PERFECT.

Glad you like it, ty! ;D

aslyn-is-artsy said: Your art is absolutely amazing

Hrhrhgfh I’m blushing thank you wow;;

aslyn-is-artsy said: Thank you so much for showing me this amazing book. I now aspire to become the real version of Art3mis. Just with short blonde hair instead. ;)

No problem!! It’s such a fantastic read and I was honestly blown away by it, so yeah...! Haha yeah I love Arty! She’s such a badass character and she doesn’t put up with any of Wade’s shit, which is great, she’s so empowered and I adore her

theitalianscribe said :I don't remember if this was answered, but is Michael trans male in this au?

Nope! I mean if you want to headcanon him that way that’s fine, I won’t stop you! I’m not going to endorse that since I myself don’t see him being that way, but you all are entitled to your own opinions so! And even if he were trans that wouldn’t be the main point of the blog anyway, I’m focusing more on their actual relationship, not their sexuality or gender or anything like that ^^

Anonymous said:i checked the book Ready Player One out from the library just because of this blog! are there any other books you recommend? (i havent finished the book but i like it so far i think!)

Oh nice!! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! Ahhh hmm well if you like supernatural teen stories, there’s a series called Darkest Powers by Kelley Armstrong about this girl named Chloe who finds out she’s a necromancer after being sent to a “troubled teens” home, and she meets these boys named Simon and Derek who also have special abilities and then all sorts of crazy things happen! I first read it back in high school and I still love it a lot, so yeah it’s a trilogy and all of the characters are really great so! (I looooove Simon like. So much.) Check it out if you have the time, it’s a good read!

kitikat101 said: Random potential song parodies: I Love the OASIS (I Love Play Rehearsal), Find That Egg (Be More Chill, pts. 1 and 2), Two-Player Game (but with Joust), Oases In My Head (Voices In My Head)

Kit can I say how much I adore these song titles they fit so well I’m really tempted to make parodies for all of them, absolutely brilliant

geeklychic1012 said: So are we allowed to send in fanfics based on this blog? (Cuz I submitted one but my wifi is shit and I think Tumblr might have eaten it haha)

YES!! Please do I’d highly enjoy reading stuff from you guys! And yes I saw and it breaks my heart like. Why. I’ll post it soon for everyone else to see too! They must all suffer as I have hfhdjhgjg

Anonymous said: Who would be I-r0k in this au? Or would I-r0k still be his normal jerk self?

I’m actually...not sure :0 There aren’t enough characters in BMC to properly cross over with all the rest of the RPO characters so;; I might have to go through the BMC novel and find some obscure background character to sneak in as I-r0k lol, because I would like to have all of the RPO characters replaced by BMC counterparts, if that makes sense!

theitalianscribe said: Does someone else take Halliday's place in this au? Also, do the gunters have a shared obsession with pop culture from a certain time period? What time period?

Yeah, I mentioned that up above! But Book!Squip takes over the role of Halliday, and musical Squip is Sorrento, of course~ Honestly I’d say like, probably the early 2000s, since that was when I was growing up and I can actually make references back to that time lol? I mean I love the 80s as well, just as it is in the book, but I feel as if I don’t know enough about that time period to actually. Make proper references and constantly. (I mean I could ask my parents who lived during that time too but;; haha.) Most of the stuff on here are me self-projecting, like with video games, books, and anime, that’s all me lol

Anonymous said: " “You don’t need to sell me on anything, Wade,” she said. “You’re my best friend. My favorite person.” With what appeared to be some effort, she looked me in the eye. “I’ve really missed you, you know that?”My heart felt like it was on fire. I took a moment to work up my courage; then I reached out and took her hand." aka perfect au is perfect how does it fit S O well

!!! yEAH MY DUDE I LOVED THAT PART and just imagining Michael saying that to Jeremy I wanted to cry;; I don’t even know but the INSTANT Aech was introduced I was like “Ohhh man. I’m getting major BMC vibes here” and bam, a week later this blog was born lol

Anonymous said:Would you be okay with cosplay of your character designs? I can't do one anytime soon, but they look really cool (and jerm's hair honestly looks fun to do)

YES!! OH MY GOD I’d probably die of sheer happiness if you guys cosplayed these dorks! If you want I could draw a character ref sheet so you actually get a proper look at their outfits! But yes I’d highly enjoy that;; like the cosplay doesn’t even have to be accurate I’d still love it anyway, and doing things like acting out some of the asks here (I’ve seen it be done before and it’s so cute!) would be totally okay too! But yeah as always TAG ME or submit it here so I can see it aaaa I’d love love LOVE that! ^^

Anonymous said: SPECIAL BOY SPECIAL BOY SPECIAL BOY SPECIAL BOY SPECIAL B

YEEEEEAAAAA IT’S ABOUT TIME I MADE AN OUTFIT FOR RICH RIGHT I LOVE HIM SM

maysurprisedyou said: Hi! This isn't quite an ask, but!! I started reading Ready Player One because of this blog and it's really interesting so far so thank you!! All of your posts seem to make my day ahah <3

Oooh I’m happy you’re liking it so far, I’m glad my blog inspired you to read it! And aaAAAA that’s so sweet I’m?? Hhhhfh thank you! :’)

[403secret]

fuckfuckfuck this is sooo late. writer’s block completely crashed into me and screwed me over. i don’t know how to write anymore i’m sorry D: 

prompt fill for the fantastic @prompt-master​!! <3

“–Jeremy? You’re spacing out.”

Michael regrets the words when he sees Jeremy’s shoulders tense up, his whole body going rigid. “Shit, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“No, I–” Jeremy swerves around to face his best friend, blinking owlishly. “I’m fine. Sorry.”

Michael studies him closely. He seems fine, but the blue of his eyes is a bit duller than usual–an airy blue adulterated with gray, like a sky anticipating a rainstorm. It’s a little concerning. His eyes only look like that when he’s sad. Or tired.

“Are you okay?”

Jeremy blinks, clearly startled by the question. “What? Yeah. I’m–good. I’m great.” He smiles–thank god it’s a genuine smile–and Michael relaxes just a little. 

“If you’re not up for this, we can always reschedule,” he presses. They’re at the bus stop, waiting for the next bus to take them into downtown Trenton–the bus stop is only a few minutes’ walk from their neighborhood, but Jeremy looks like he’s exhausted already. “Have you been getting enough sleep lately?”

“Just the average. Don’t reschedule this,” Jeremy answers, brushing his fingers against the back of Michael’s hand–it’s an act of reassurance, but a romantic gesture nonetheless. “I’m excited for this.”

Michael takes Jeremy’s hand in his own, returning the smile. “I am, too.” Honestly? He’s been looking forward to this day for weeks. “Just… let me know if something’s wrong, okay?”

“Of course.”

The bus pulls up on the curb, its doors phasing open. Michael lets Jeremy get on first, then files in through the door behind him. He isn’t quite convinced that nothing’s up, but if Jeremy says he’s fine, Michael’s going to take his word for it. He trusts him. Besides, he’s convinced that nothing could possibly ruin today.

It’s–well, it’s their first real date, after all.

Michael’s a pretty perceptive person. He’s always first to notice hidden cues inside video games, and as a result, he always ends up with an impressive collection of rare powers and items. It’s one of his secret skills, he likes to joke.

But he’s perceptive in real life too. To add to that, he and Jeremy have been friends for twelve whole years–Michael knows Jeremy’s little quirks better than Jeremy knows them himself. That means that when something’s off, there’s no way it’s going to escape his attention.

Presently, that’s what worries Jeremy the most. He’s pretty sure he’s coming down with something. He’d gone to sleep the night before with a slight case of the sniffles and woken up with blocked airways and a killer headache. He doesn’t think his head has hurt this much since his SQUIP got deactivated, and he can’t stop shivering under all the layers he’s wearing, which probably means he has a decent fever. 

He doesn’t want Michael to know, though. They’re already in the city, and if Michael finds out, Jeremy knows he’ll cancel the date without a second thought. It’s such a special occasion–headache or not, he certainly doesn’t want to be the reason they end their first date early.

So, he tries–really hard–not to let it show. He puts all his focus into the video games at the arcade they visit so that his gaming skills seem up to par, ignoring the way the bright screens turn his headache into a crushing, pulsing pain. He’s not hungry, but he orders food anyways, and jokes through lunch and tries really hard to keep his hands from shaking every time he picks up a french fry. He loves Michael. God, he loves Michael so damn much. That’s why he has to lie. He needs today to be perfect. 

They finally call it a day around five in the afternoon. It’s near the end of summer, and the sun has already started to set, scattering rays of crimson and gold across the city. The skyscrapers eat up the colors–a splitting image of the sun attaches itself onto on every window, making the city look as though it’s on fire. 

Michael sits next to Jeremy on the bus ride home. He’s so preoccupied with watching the scenery scroll by from the window that he doesn’t notice that Jeremy’s trying to get his attention–at least, up until the brunet taps him on the arm.

“What’s up?”

“I’m–” Jeremy starts, then stifles a yawn. “–tired.”

Michael steals a glance at him. ‘Tired’ seems to be an understatement, actually–there are dark circles under his eyes, and his glance is blank and unfocused in a way that probably indicates exhaustion. “Come lay in my lap?”

Usually, he’d expect a remark along the lines of ‘that’s embarrassing. We’re in public,’ but Jeremy doesn’t argue. Instead, he lays down, resting his head on Michael’s lap, and bends his legs so he doesn’t take up too much seat space. “...Thanks.”

He must really be tired, Michael notes, since he’s agreed to lie down like this without a fight. It’s–a little concerning, actually.

That’s when he notices for the first time that Jeremy’s cheeks are weirdly flushed–his complexion is a shade paler than usual, which makes the color dispersed across his cheeks look even more out of place. “You’re kind of pale,” Michael comments, frowning. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Just motion sickness,” Jeremy assures, reaching up to play with Michael’s hoodie strings with a shaky hand. 

“Is it bad?”

“Not really. I’m okay.” 

As if to disprove his own point, he winces suddenly, shutting his eyes and turning away from the window. “It’s so bright outside,” he mutters, letting go of the hoodie string and curling in on himself.

“...Bright?”

“Yeah.” 

“It... really isn’t.” Michael spares another glance out the window. The sun is already dipping under the horizon–presently, it’s dim enough that he can look directly at it without a problem.

Besides, it’s not typical for Jeremy to be bothered by bright lighting in the first place. He never complains about little things like this, except when– 

–Oh. 

“I kind of have a headache,” Jeremy admits quietly, almost quietly enough that his boyfriend can’t catch it, but Michael’s already figured that much out. 

“Since when?”

“I don’t know. It just hurts.”

“We’re almost there. You can take some advil when we get back, okay?” Michael reaches out to run his fingers through Jeremy’s hair, but as soon as his fingers make contact with Jeremy’s forehead, he withdraws his hand quickly, his breath coming in a bit too sharply. 

...What?

He’d been expecting some heat–a light fever, maybe, but nothing remotely like this. Jeremy’s burning up–his temperature probably isn’t even under a hundred. 

Jeremy cracks open one eye, frowning. “Michael?”

“Are you…?” Michael lays the palm of his hand on Jeremy’s forehead again, wincing when he gets the confirmation that he’s been dreading. “You're burning up.” 

“Am I?”

“Yeah. I’m pretty sure you have a fever.” 

Jeremy sniffles, wrapping his arms around himself as a tremor runs through his frame. “I was hoping I didn’t.”

Michael’s mind is reeling. So, this isn’t news to him? “Have you been feeling bad all day?”

The silence that follows is enough to confirm his suspicions. He frowns, feeling his own forehead in comparison. It’s definitely not as warm. “...Why didn’t you say anything?”

“This is our first date, Michael. I couldn’t just cancel–” 

“And so you lied about how you felt? Gee, thanks, I feel really trustworthy now...”

“No, you don’t understand.” Jeremy sniffles, burying his head into Michael’s hoodie as a fit of harsh coughs tears through him. “This is my first date. Ever. And if I– if I cancelled, it might’ve seemed like I wasn’t interested.” He inhales shakily, his fingers closing around a handful of hoodie fabric. “I just–didn’t want to send the message that I didn’t want to go. Because I do.”

“Hey,” Michael says, sensing his discomfort. Jeremy’s voice is shaking, and the last thing Michael wants to do is make him feel worse when he’s already not feeling well. His fingers brush lightly against the back of Jeremy’s hand. “I wouldn’t have been mad if you’d told me. We could’ve just postponed the date and hung out at your house instead. You know, watched a movie or something.”

Jeremy unburies his face and looks up for the first time, and Michael notices that the rims of his eyes are a little red. His heart caves in a little.

“That sounds really good, actually,” Jeremy decides. “Is... it too late to take up that offer?” “Of course not.” Michael squeezes his hand, and Jeremy smiles and moves a little closer to him.

Jeremy falls asleep for the remainder of the ride. Michael resigns himself to staring blankly out the window, soft music threading through his headphones. When the bus finally pulls to a stop in their city, he almost doesn’t want to wake Jeremy up––the brunet is finally getting some much-needed rest; his eyes are scrunched tightly shut, his breaths warm against Michael’s arm.

But the bus won’t wait for them, so he reaches out, setting a light hand on Jeremy’s shoulder to wake him up. The stifling heat that seeps through Jeremy’s shirt can’t be a good sign.

The brunet shifts slightly, his eyes fluttering open. “...Michael?”

“We’re here,” Michael informs him, and Jeremy nods and sits up, a little shakily. Michael slings an arm around his shoulder and they start off toward the front of the vehicle. It’s concerning, how warm Jeremy feels next to him, and how he’s leaning most of his weight on Michael’s body as if he can’t stand up by himself.

They exit the bus and the automatic doors slide shut again. The vehicle drives off in the other direction, leaving Jeremy still pressed up to Michael’s side.

“Can you walk?” Michael asks, and Jeremy nods.

He slips out of Michael’s grasp–probably to prove his point–but his balance is off and he wavers precariously on his feet. Michael grabs his arm to steady him, and then Jeremy’s in his arms again, this time making no effort to move away.

“Sorry, I got dizzy,” he mumbles, and Michael can see that his eyes are glassy and unfocused and fever-bright. Briefly, he weighs his options: it’s about a fifteen walk from the bus station to his house, but he’s not sure Jeremy should be walking in his current state. 

“Stand up for a moment,” he instructs, then slides one arm under Jeremy’s legs and the other one under his shoulders. It’s not too much trouble lifting him up–he’s had to do this before, in the handful of times when Jeremy’s fallen asleep after long sessions of gaming and Michael’s had to move him to a bed or to the couch.

Jeremy eyes him warily. “What are you doing?” he asks, and Michael rolls his eyes.

“Taking you home.”

“Why are you carrying me?”

“So you won’t pass out halfway.”

“...You’re so cool,” the brunet mumbles. Michael freezes for a moment, his whole face going red, and quickly averts his eyes. What the fuck?

“I– don’t think you should say things like that,” he stammers. “Y-You’re delirious.”

“It’s true, though. You’re like, the coolest person I know.” Jeremy grins, and Michael wonders how, even with flushed cheeks and dark circles under his eyes, Jeremy Heere still manages to look so damn cute. It really isn’t fair.

“...Can we try this again sometime?” Jeremy asks, his tone a little softer. “Like, the whole date thing.”

“Sure,” Michael chirps, definitely not a nervous wreck. He clears his throat. “Just... get better first, okay?”

“Okay.”

Jeremy has a really nice smile, Michael decides.

[paladin-lynx]

“why are we whispering?” with like,, anyone from the arcana if you play it but if you don’t, with anyone from be more chill!!

I actually just recently started playing “The Arcana” but haven’t gotten very far, so I don’t think I can write anything about it just yet. Maybe soon! So for now, I’ll go with “Be More Chill” and a pairing that I’ve been meaning to write about for a while!

Send me a character/ship/fandom and a prompt and I’ll write something!

Fandom: Be More Chill (musical)

Ships: The SQUIP x Jeremy Heere (Technical Difficulties/Squipemy/Squeremy/JereSquip)

Setting: Post-musical AU where the SQUIP somehow returned as a human and was redeemed/rehabilitated by Jeremy (with the help of the rest of the squad), and lives with him having had nowhere else to go. He looks pretty similar to how he looked in Jeremy’s head, and physically he looks to be around college age.

It had already been a good few months since the SQUIPcident, as it had been deemed, and even if things were weird, they were going relatively well. Jeremy would never forget how initially terrified he’d been when suddenly a familiar Keanu Reeves-esque looking individual had shown up at his front door. Even if he’d looked worse for wear and rather pathetic, the voices in Jeremy’s head had been screaming, “it’s the SQUIP, he’s going to hurt you, he’s going to ruin your life again, you can’t trust him, get away—” and he’d slammed the door in his face.

But of course, upon hearing the tentative knocking and quiet voice – still with that almost ridiculous-sounding surfer lilt – asking him to please listen, empathetic Jeremiah Heere couldn’t help but open the door again and give it another try. He supposed it had made sense that his SQUIP had picked up traits from him, given that they’d shared a brain for a time, but it was still strange to see what it looked like when he fell into a panic attack.

From there, everything had changed. Jeremy had taken it upon himself to teach his former SQUIP – who they defaulted to just called ‘Squip’ – how to be a proper human being. It was strange, in a way, because here was someone who used to be a machine that knew the ins and outs of social interaction, that could read every single vital of its host and deduce when something specific was needed, and yet he tended to forget to do basic human things. Jeremy would constantly have to remind him to eat, chastise him for staying up too late, tell him that some of his behaviors weren’t exactly acceptable. It was almost like their roles had been reversed. Squip was embarrassed about it but chalked it up to still being used to being a supercomputer, who didn’t have to do all of the things that it kept tabs on for its user.

If there was anything that Squip was the worst at doing, it was sleeping. Of course, Jeremy knew that there was a reason behind it other than just forgetting to, because as a stupid squishy human, it was difficult to go too long without it. Jeremy heard Squip’s screams in the middle of the night, even if Squip liked to act like he silenced himself before anyone noticed, and Jeremy was familiar enough with nightmares to know that they could scare you away from wanting to sleep even if you were tired to the bone. But the result was that Squip tended to sleep in the middle of the day, which wouldn’t be a huge deal if there weren’t times he’d just straight-up passed out over things he was doing. He’d almost hurt himself on multiple occasions because of it, but he seemed to be getting better at reading the signs and getting himself somewhere comfortable before promptly zonking out. He seemed to sleep better during the day, and Jeremy wasn’t sure if that was because he felt safer with the buzz of activity in the Heere household around him, or if his mind was just too exhausted to come up with a nightmare.

Jeremy and Squip had sat and talked about their trauma together quite frequently. It was actually pretty easy to discuss it with one another because they understood it best out of everyone. Jeremy knew now that Squip had human feelings and an actual conscience that he felt awfully guilty for everything and was hoping that becoming human was his second chance to be a good influence on Jeremy. Jeremy always tried to tell him that he shouldn’t feel too bad about the past because he’d been forced to follow his code and there was even a chance he had been defective – and Jeremy also pointed out that some of the pain others had felt had been his own fault, without Squip’s help – but Squip still refused to accept that. He was determined to spend the rest of his life making up for his actions. He’d even said he didn’t want to give himself a ‘real name’ until he felt he’d earned it, despite the fact that they both knew he couldn’t go out into the real world calling himself ‘Squip’.

And as time went on, Jeremy and Squip got ever closer. It was easier for Jeremy to forgive him than he had initially thought it would be, because this version of Squip was so different. It was obvious now that he was free from the shackles of his programming, he was an entirely new being. He could still act a bit stuck-up and like a know-it-all, because he still had a lot of knowledge stuffed into his now-human brain, but he was also funny, clever, and never missed an opportunity to help someone. Even the rest of Jeremy’s new squad – even Michael – had slowly come to accept him. But even if Squip had become part of the group, he was closest to Jeremy and, honestly, Jeremy was becoming incredibly fond of him. It was a bit difficult for him not to, really.

Of course, Squip still tended to stay in Jeremy’s house for the most part. He sometimes wandered out on the town while Jeremy was at school and Mr. Heere was at work, but without identification and much money, there was only so much he could do on his own. Jeremy knew that he liked to frequent the park because now that he could actually feel things, he had become a bit obsessed with nature, which was kind of funny considering how technologically-inclined he was.

Today was a day like any other. Because it was Friday afternoon, Michael was coming over after school so that they could spend stay up stupidly late playing video games and gorging themselves with junk food and soda – nothing with Mountain Dew, though. Jeremy was religiously staying away from the brand from now on, to be safe, even though Squip was very obviously out of his head.

“I am not going to see the Sonic the Hedgehog movie with you,” Jeremy said as they walked up the steps to his house, fishing his key out of his pants pocket.

Michael pouted at him. “Why not? It’ll be great! You can’t go to that movie by yourself! Do you know how embarrassing that’ll be?”

“Not nearly as embarrassing as you constantly making comments about how I’ll wanna get it on with Sonic.”

Michael snickered, nudging Jeremy with his shoulder as they stopped in front of the door. “I’ve gotta be supportive of my furry best friend, don’t I? Maybe Tails’ll be in it, too! You know all the jokes online about his second tail being a b—”

“Mell,” Jeremy hissed, his cheeks burning as he fumbled to get the key in the lock, muttering under his breath, even slipping into Japanese for a moment without really realizing. As he finally shoved the key into the slot, he collected himself. “Honestly, with all the freaking ridiculous research you do, I’d say you’re the furry. And, for the record, I do not wanna do anything with Sonic. Or Tails. Or any of them!”

Michael laughed again, more heartily this time, as he followed Jeremy through the now open door. “I’m doin’ all the work because you’re too ashamed to. I, of course, have absolutely no shame. So I’m helping ya out. You’re welcome, by the way. But I do know you prefer your catgirls. I guess they gotta look somewhat human for you to—”

“Michael.”

“Look, I know as well as you do that your dad isn’t home right now, so I will keep talking about this. I mean, you remember Krystal from Star Fox? Of course you do. They knew exactly what they were doing when they designed her. Although I guess you also really liked Scar and Kovu, so maybe they don’t—”

“Michael.”

“Come on, Jere, I—”

“Michael!” Jeremy finally turned to his friend and waved one hand in a ‘keep it down’ gesture as he quietly closed the door.

Michael blinked, clamping his mouth shut in surprise. He waited a moment before he spoke again, much more softly: “Why are we whispering?”

Jeremy pointed to the living room, where the TV was playing a re-run of Rick and Morty. And there, sprawled on the couch fast asleep, one arm hanging off the edge, was Squip.

“Oh,” Michael murmured, once again trailing behind Jeremy as they went into the living room, slipping off their shoes and backpacks along the way.

Jeremy shed his coat and tossed it onto one of the armchairs before padding over to the couch, his expression softening as he gazed down at his housemate. There had only been a handful of times he’d seen his SQUIP look peaceful, and they were so few and far between that he wasn’t even sure he could remember the exact contexts. But seeing him now – mouth slightly open, black hair splayed on one of the small couch pillows with that one silly white streak falling somewhat into his face, brow not creased in concentration like it always used to be – warmed Jeremy’s heart in a way he couldn’t quite explain. Squip had said at one point that Jeremy should want him dead after what he did, to which Jeremy had said that he couldn’t wish something like that even on his worst enemy, let alone someone on the path to redemption.

Jeremy grabbed the blanket draped over the back of the couch and gently lay it over Squip, tugging it into place so he was properly covered. When Squip mumbled something and shifted slightly, Jeremy feared he’d woken him up, but Squip simply grabbed the blanket and pulled it up, nuzzling into it and humming contently, still very much asleep.

Jeremy couldn’t help breaking into a smile and reaching down to gently brush that white streak off of Squip’s forehead, letting his hand linger for a moment and just watching the former supercomputer.

“You’re so whipped for him, dude.”

Michael’s words snapped Jeremy out of his reverie and he pulled his hand back as if he’d been burned, his cheeks going up in flames. He looked up at Michael with wide eyes. “What?” he whisper-yelled, and he swore his voice went up at least ten octaves. “I am not!”

Michael just quirked an eyebrow in his trademarked ‘you know I’m right’ way. “You so are, Jere. I’ve seen the way you look at him when we’re all hanging out together, and just now. You used to look at Christine that way.”

Jeremy’s face was still dark red, almost putting Michael’s prized hoodie to shame, and he peeked down at Squip again. Squip had always been attractive, even when he had just been a projection of Jeremy’s mind. Jeremy had a feeling that was intentional, because he would be more willing to listen to and follow the orders of someone he was interested in. Of course, Jeremy had been struggling with his bisexuality then, so he wouldn’t have ever accepted the fact that he was maybe attracted to someone who presented male. But perhaps, like Rich, being freed from the commanding voice in his head had made him come to a few realizations.

And now, the new human Squip was ever the charmer, using little pet names constantly, always knowing what to say in that smooth-as-honey voice of his, cracking a smirk that could make anyone’s knees weak and okay, maybe could make a few people question their sexuality. He’d come back from his excursions plenty of times with little slips of paper in his pocket with various phone numbers, and maybe it made Jeremy a little envious that Squip had only been around like this for a handful of months and could get more people to ask him out merely by existing than Jeremy could by using every trick in the figurative book of romance. Not even Christine had stuck around, after everything they’d gone through, although they were still very close as friends.

But that didn’t mean Jeremy was into Squip.

…Right?

Jeremy huffed, stepping away from the couch and snatching up his coat, grabbing Michael’s abandoned one along the way so he could stomp over to the closet and hang them up. “You’re high.”

“Nope. I am one-hundred percent sober, Jere-bear. You like him. Like like him.”

Jeremy was too flustered to make fun of Michael for using the elementary school phrase and instead just glared at his friend as he came back over to join him in the living room. “I do not,” he repeated.

Michael smiled, amusement dancing in his eyes. “You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself.”

Michael had known Jeremy for over twelve years, and even if he sometimes didn’t understand what Jeremy was going through, he knew all of Jeremy’s tendencies and mannerisms down to a T. It was part of why Michael had been so worried when Jeremy had started changing after getting his SQUIP. So of course, if anyone was going to know that Jeremy was going through a romantic crisis, it was Michael.

Jeremy let out a slow breath, trying to rub the heat out of his cheeks, as if that would work. The more Michael commented on his apparent predicament, the less and less inclined Jeremy was to disagree. He peeked down at Squip’s sleeping form once more, just in time to see him murmur something in Japanese that Jeremy sort of understood as “very comfy” and turn over to face the other way, and Jeremy’s heart stuttered.

“…So what if I do?” he mumbled, shoving his hands into his pants pockets.

Michael shrugged, flashing him another little grin. “You do you, my man. I mean, it’s a little weird because he used to be a pill in your head and tried to take over the world with you as his sleeper agent. But I guess it’s not that much weirder than you being into animal people.”

“You are the absolute worst,” Jeremy groaned, lolling his head back in exasperation for a moment before sighing. “It’s not like he would wanna date me anyway. He has so many admirers. He could have literally anyone he wants.”

“You know I’ve never actually called any of those numbers I’ve received.”

Jeremy and Michael both froze at the voice, and Jeremy’s gaze snapped down to the couch again. There was Squip, eyes open and watching him curiously, a tiny, sleepy smile on his lips.

“Y-you’re…awake?” Jeremy squeaked, his blush returning full-force. “I, uh, you…H-how much did you hear…?”

“Just enough.” Squip chuckled and sat up, still holding the blanket to his chest in a way that Jeremy decided he should not find as cute as it was. “I know you were trying to be quiet, but I wasn’t in that deep of a sleep to begin with. But I felt rude interrupting.”

“You were eavesdropping. That’s worse,” Jeremy argued, and Michael laughed, excusing himself to go raid the kitchen. Jeremy silently cursed him for leaving him alone with his maybe kind of crush that he’d just realized he maybe had.

Squip only smiled again, letting the blanket drop into his lap and picking up the remote to turn off the TV. He set it down again and beckoned Jeremy to sit with him. After a moment of hesitation, the boy did so and Squip turned to face him, tilting his head like he always did when he was thinking.

They sat there in silence for what to Jeremy felt like an eternity – but was probably no more than ten seconds – and he fidgeted in his spot, finally piping up. “So…”

“…I may not have been human for long,” Squip began, “and I may still be figuring some things out, but I do know that I feel strongly for you. Up until recently, I had thought that it was perhaps just residual attachment from when I was your SQUIP, and the persisting need to look after you and care for your well-being, but I’m beginning to think that it may be something…more than that. And I wouldn’t be averse to seeing what developments come out of it.”

Jeremy just blinked dumbly at him. “…In English, please?”

Squip just laughed warmly, slipping a hand into Jeremy’s hair and pulling him forward to plant a soft kiss to his forehead. “I like like you, too, sweetheart.”

[limpblotter]

16 boyf riends

(Boyf Riends 16) “I foundyou–in the bathroom at a formal event, crying in the bathroom over how you sawyourself as ugly” (I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE ANON, I SEE IT AND I THINK ITSGREAT)

“You know…” Jeremy smiled ashe fixed his tuxedo tie. “I never thought we’d make it here…” His eyes in aweas he took in the chandeliers and grand, gold and champagne paisley walldecals, this was easily the nicest place either boy had been.  “Prom.”

They made it to their seniorprom, of course not without some flaw. Jeremy had missed his chance to askChristine, who was already going with a group of girls as they either hadpassed up too many invitations or just got none. Michael, too, missed hischance in asking anyone out. So as per usual, the friends were together again. “Thisis going to be nuts…” Michael muttered to himself, and then nodded. He pinchedboth sides of his bowtie and ran a hand through his hair. “Let’s make this thebest night two bros can have!” They were dateless, sure, but they survived tosee their senior prom. Jeremy watched Michael bolt through the crowd of fancily dressed teenagestudents and smiled. His best friend cleaned up pretty nice in a red suede suitand bowtie. It wasn’t until he lost Michael on his sprint towards the pier sideballroom that Jeremy felt a sweat start up. “MICHAEL! WA-WAIT!” He gulpednarrowing tripping over some girl’s excessively long gown. “S-sorry” He gulped,holding up his hands defensively as her date gave Heere a look that made himwant to disappear. Squip-less Jeremy was working on the little dexterity he wasknown for. He followed the herd to the ballroom, ooh’ing and awe’ing at thedome shaped room, wall to ceiling windows giving them a perfect view of theriverside pier.

It wasn’t long before thiselegant ballroom turned into a massive, grinding house party. There was somethingvisually jarring watching formally dressed teens turn into gyrating, jitteringjuveniles who were most likely looking to get a little something-something atthe end of the night. Jeremy felt himself nervously swaying side to side, offbeat, as he tried to locate safety.

His body was a small boatlost in a sea of yachts. He was barely keeping himself up as beautiful, massiveships swayed and moved along the endless ocean of a dance floor. “Jeremy!”Called a beautiful red buoy in a bowtie coming to his way, he drew a smallbreath of relief. He stopped swaying by the time Michael reunited with him. “Theyhave milkshake SHOTS” Michael beamed chugging a small glass of pure dairygoodness down. “The music is kinda lame, what the top fuckboy hits of 2017?” “H-Heh yeah…” Jeremy rubbed his arm a bit; usually he felt a little more easebeing around Michael. Something about the atmosphere was off putting. Maybe itwas something about the music? Or the fact they were two dateless guys. Orperhaps how good Michael looked in his suit, clean cut, bright smile, and thered was the same shade of Jeremy’s favorite drink. “You ok? You look…” Michael looked Jeremy up and down, enjoying how nice helooked in a plain black suit with a red tie. Shame his look didn’t match theexpression he wore; his delicate, wispy brown brows furrowed forming a small ‘v’wrinkle between them. Michael wanted to iron out the worried line with histhumb…but … “You look constipated” Jeremy internally flinched. Was it thatobvious he was uncomfortable? “We can bounce you know, prom isn’t that great,the food looks meh at best. We can –“ “No, no!” Jeremy didn’t drag Michael out to prom just to bail. He wanted to behere. He really did, there was just something bothering him. It had been sincethey purchased the tickets and the suits together. “Actually, I think you mightbe on to something.” He chuckled, looking for a good out, thankfully even whenMichael didn’t mean to he managed to give Jeremy an escape route from this bossbattle. “I’m going to hit the bathroom.” “O-Ok Jeremy…” Michael watched as his small, lanky friend spun on his heel andzipped through the dancing crowds. He weaseled his way through densely packedbodies. He left a train of ‘sorrys’ and ‘excuse mes’ as he bumped and weaved tothe opposite end of the dance floor. He kept his eyes on the floor worried hisbig feet would catch something, a dress or someone’s heels, and send himcareening to the floor. The last thing he needed was to fall flat on his face.

Without taking his eyes offthe floor he hurried into the bathroom and sighed. Why was this not as great ashe thought? What was throwing him off? “Come on…prom…this is fun” He glared athis reflection in the mirror, his blue eyes focusing everything in him to bringa pleasant feeling…that was until the door opened. He jumped at the sight ofChristine waddling in her red dress. “C-C-Chri-nn?!” Jeremy’s voice cracked sobad the rest of her name got lost somewhere between his throat and his lips. “Jeremy what are you doing hanging out in the girls’ bathroom? At a formalevent?” She blinked a few times, “doesn’t matter do you have a pin or something—ofcourse you don’t who would. UGH” She rubbed her face and groaned. “W-What’s wrong?” Christine turned fully and exposed her ripped lacing ribbon to her corset top. “Ihave no idea how I managed to rip the STRING to the corset…I’ve been askingaround for pins or anything to keep my top from falling off…” Her voice soundedso defeated and low, it was unlike her. “So much for prom huh…”

Jeremy bit the inside of hischeek, he mulled over solutions for a second before glancing down at his thin,neck tie. “Hey…” He slowly undid his tie and folded it in half length wise. “Youthink this might work?” Willing to try Jeremy positioned himself by the sinks while Christine stood infront of him with her back to him. He started threading the tie like a newstring, lacing her back up with care. “I saw Michael out there, he looks really neat. He was taking to Rich.” Shegiggled, “did you come here with Michael ?” “Yup, just bros flying solo.” Jeremy muttered, he was more than aware how niceMichael cleaned up for prom. “I’m surprised he’s having so much fun…” Prom wasmore Jeremy’s idea, Michael agreed because they were both dateless…and Jeremywas in need of some moral support tonight.

“Oh…really? I thought…” Shepaused but didn’t let the thought die, much to Jeremy’s dismay. “I thought youguys came together, you know…but it makes sense. Why not, you two are justfriends right? Must be nice to just hang with your friends.” Christine chimedher voice back to its chipper tone.  OnceJeremy was done she spun around and paused. “You should probably get out of thegirl’s bathroom…and join us, maybe you can squeeze a little boogey-oogy- woogytime. I might ask Michael to dance since we’re going twinsies on the red.” “Y-Yea sure.” He watched Christine, in her newly laced dress exit. She lookedequally as amazing in red. Jeremy could picture Christine and Michael dancingtogether. A perfect red pair of bubbling smiles and giggles…he felt envy buildup inside him the longer he thought about how much fun Michael was having. Howwell he was blending in. The last party Jeremy was at, Michael had stowed awayand wasn’t anywhere to be seen for the longest time.

Jeremy looked over hisshoulder and felt heat build around his face. His eyes started to water when avery old and familiar thought crossed his mind. “You look like shit.” He whisperedto himself. Just as he sniffled back the heated tears the door swung open. “Jeremy! There you are” Michael laughed, “dude why are you in the girl’sbathroom, by yourself? At…prom?” Michael’s smile was forced, one look and hefelt an old memory surface. Being alone in the bathroom with a sorry face?Michael knew that feeling a little too well. “You ok? You look…well did you atleast use the bathroom?” He thumbed to one of the stalls. “Or are you planningon using the little boy’s room?” “I’m…” Jeremy sighed, “I’m not fine.” He admitted softly. “…this sucks.” “This was your idea, its prom, we have no dates of course it sucks.” Michaelchuckled, “but hey we’re …in it together, right?” “Oh yeah, that makes me feel better” Jeremy groaned, “Going to Prom with my browho looks ten times better than me.” Who gave Michael the right to look nice?And why was he saying “my bro” like it was a bad thing. Why…did prom feel sostrange all of the sudden. He felt a hand touch his shoulder and slowly hebrought his eyes up to Michael’s.

“Don’t tell me you’re cryingin the bathroom because you see yourself as ugly?” He spoke softly, “Jeremy youlook great, any girl out there would be stoked to dance with you. Like man, you’relike …suaver than 007 in Goldeneye cover! You’re like…” He started to babbleand ramble, Jeremy felt his cheeks flush a bit.

“I don’t want to dance withanybody out there…” He kept his eyes on the tiled ground. “…I don’t know I justdo think its … we’re here together so are we really ‘dateless’?”

“a-ah..no I guess…I mean…”Michael’s babbling was now cut short. The silence hung heavy; there was astrange understanding happening. Michael started to realize what about promwasn’t jiving well with Jeremy. Neither knew how to say it, how to cross thatline of verbalizing that feeling. Suddenly the blasting bass sounds died into aslow, ancient ballad. “Heh Whitney…” “Bet everyone on the dance floor is screaming the lyrics out..” Jeremy added,it was a slow dance song. He looked back at Michael after staring off towardsthe door and noticed there was a clammy, shaky hand outstretched towards him.Michael didn’t say a word, nor did Jeremy. He kept staring at the hand as thesong ticked by. Slowly Jeremy placed his hand in Michael’s, after waiting solong he flinched before grasping his hand.

Michael wasn’t sure how tohold Jeremy…his heart made it hard to keep beat with the song. They settled onawkwardly holding each other’s waist and swaying back and forth.

“I’m glad.” Jeremy spoke up,“I’m glad I’m here with my favorite person…” He kept his head down, his faceredder than Michael’s suit.

Jeremy might have said thisbefore but it sounded so much more…than before. No this was different this was…Insteadof saying the millions of things he could have said Michael opened his mouthand started to sing, off key, “…I don’t have to look, very much further. I don’twanna have to go where you don’t followwww” “Oh jeez, Michael, I’m trying to say like…” This was what he was missing, theworries slid away from him. A truly genuine smile formed on Jeremy’s nervousand slightly sweaty face. He didn’t want to be dateless at prom, he didn’t wantto be here with his bro…He wanted to be here with Michael. Jeremy couldn’t getanother word past Michael who was belting every note as if to drown out thegiddiness. “God, Michael…” Jeremy cautiously leaned into Michael’s chest andresorted to hugging him as they swayed to the Whitney Houston song in themiddle of the girl’s bathroom.

Slowly, Michael’s armswrapped around Jeremy’s small frame and locked him into a tight hug.

Tonight, Michael wasn’talone in the bathroom.

[pika-ace]

BMC Squip Daemons AU

Okay so this idea has been brewing in my head for a loooong time and after seeing a bunch of soft Squips thanks to @sinisterspooks I decided to finally immortalize it.

So as the title suggests, it takes place in an AU where Squips are Daemons. I haven’t worked out all the mechanics yet, for what they exactly are or how they work since they’re not TECHNICALLY souls but they’re still connected to their charges, but whatever, I’ll explain more under the cut.

So, in this universe, EVERYONE is basically born with a Squip. They are ageless humans that are all different, and act the same way Daemons do; follow their charge around since they can’t be separated very far without the human having immense pain and their pain is synchronized; hurt one, the other will feel it. The Squip’s job is basically to act as a guardian to their charge when they’re children and to act as guides when they’re adults. And YES, they have physical bodies in this. In certain situations where one or the other is in danger or scared, it’s very common for a Squip and their charge to crave physical contact. However, Squips are a lot more durable so they can take pain better than their charges. And since they aren’t human and are some weird physical electrical thing, they can’t get sick, physically tired, or basically do anything internal that humans do (that will play a part later). Squips can also speak mentally to their charge, and children’s Squips in particular can turn invisible (like how children’s Daemons can shapeshift), but only for a short span of time and Squips can sense one another, so it’s not perfect invisibility. And finally, like Daemons, Squips and their charges are connected by an invisible bond. Now let’s get to the story! (I’m gonna borrow a LOT from the Northern Lights series for this so bear with me)

So we got Jeremy, his Squip, and all his friends with their Squips. Also, quick note, I know that Rich’s Squip is Kermit, but since they’re all humans here, Rich’s Squip can LOOK human, but still ACT like Kermit (in which its small, stays on his shoulder a lot and sounds a lot like Kermit), kinda like how Squips don’t look EXACTLY like the celebrities they’re supposed to be, but they’re pretty close. Life is going on as normal with Jeremy’s Squad and their Squips (none of them have names BTW, everyone just calls their Squip, ‘Squip’), but they’ve noticed that a lot of kids in their area have been disappearing. No one knows if its kidnapping or something more, but the authorities are stumped. The Squad don’t think too much about it, UNTIL Michael, Rich, and their Squips disappear under the same circumstances. The Squad and their Squips go off along with a large search party (mainly made of parents who’s children were taken) to try and find them, eventually deciding to split up into different parties (Jeremy and Jake; Chloe and Brook; Jenna and Christine). Jeremy and his Squip travel off on their own for a bit until they stumble across Rich, and he does NOT look good. He’s pale, weak, can barely speak or stand…and his Squip is nowhere to be found. Through his weak ramblings, Jeremy finds out that Rich’s bond with his Squip has been completely severed and god only knows where Rich’s Squip is. Jeremy brings Rich back to the search party where they decide to send him back to his home so he’ll be safe until they can find his Squip (Jake volunteers to help so he can keep an eye on Rich), but when they leave, ATTACK! A bunch of masked guys raid the camp Jeremy quickly discovers that they’re after him. Jeremy’s Squip tries to fight them off and protect his charge, but one of the men injects Jeremy with something, and it doesn’t knock Jeremy out, but it knocks his Squip out. So Jeremy and his Squip are captured, and they’re dropped off at some weird building where these people seem to have set up a little home for lost children. And sure enough, the building is full of kids, teens, and their Squips. And guess who’s also among the masses? Michael! After a heartfelt reunion, Michael, Jeremy and their Squips exchange info. Michael tells them that the people running this building are in fact behind the disappearances, and brought all the snatched kids here; when he and Rich were taken, they injected them with something that caused their Squips to pass out, like with Jeremy. They aren’t sure what the motive is yet, cause according to Michael, their kidnappers have been pretty nice to them; they give them food, clothes, let them play, they haven’t hurt them at all. However, some have noticed that kids who misbehave or try to escape are taken someplace secret and don’t come back out, which is what happened to Rich. Jeremy and his Squip do a little investigating, and they come across a weird lab. It’s full of typical lab stuff, but what catches the Squip’s attention is a vast array of colored liquids. The Squip tells Jeremy that these are all serums that have a chemical compound to effects Squips; they used to be like drugs for Squips, because the serums had to be injected into the human charge for any effect (since Squips have no internal body functions) and they were all outlawed years ago. Each color has a different effect. Green gives the Squip a power boost; orange makes a Squip sluggish and tired; blue numbs their senses and basically makes them act drunk; black lowers their motivation and willpower, makes them depressed; and then red, the deadliest. Just a small portion can knock a Squip out cold on their feet, and too much of it, can kill a Squip and the human along with it. Jeremy then realizes that was how his Squip got knocked out when they were kidnapped. Jeremy was injected with red serum, and while it had no effect on Jeremy, it effected his Squip. These people have a HUGE supply of these serums, particularly the red serum, which is not a good sign. Through some more snooping, they discover that this group is basically like a cult of some kind who want to return to the long past when Squips weren’t necessary to carry along with you. They’ve been experimenting on children to try and find a way to successfully sever the bond between a human and their Squip, without killing the human. Rich was the only successful experiment that DIDN’T die, but due to how weak he ended up, he was still deemed a failure, and thrown out into the wilderness while his Squip ended up who knows where. Unfortunately, after this revelation, Jeremy and his Squip are caught. They try to escape, but they inject Jeremy with orange serum, making his Squip drowsy and unable to fight back. The scientists carry Jeremy and his Squip to another little lab where a strange cage sits in the middle of the room. It’s round, has thick metal bars around it and a thick wall of glass running through the middle of it. They stick Jeremy in one half of the cage and his Squip in the other. The serum has worn off so the Squip and Jeremy try their hardest to break out as they realize that they’re going to sever their bond. Jeremy and his Squip both panic and try desperately to escape, pounding the glass and pulling the bars as the glass turns red, revealing their bond physically, while a laser using components of red serum begins to slowly descend towards it. And if you didn’t know, intercision, as this is called, is INCREDIBLY painful for both parties, so both Jeremy and his Squip are in absolute pain as they try to find some way to escape. Jeremy’s screaming for his Squip, begging the scientists to not separate them while the Squip is pounding on the glass to try and get to his charge and yelling for the scientists to stop hurting him. But just as the laser is about to cut the bond and Jeremy and his Squip pass out, there’s a loud crash. A few days later, Jeremy wakes up in a bedroom with his Squip lying right next to him, bond still intact, and both of them still together. After a relieved and tearful hug between the two, Jeremy finds out that Michael and the rest of the squad had broken into the lab and gotten them out just in the nick of time. The search party had found them and started a fight, breaking out most of the children and capturing a good amount of the cult members. However, we aren’t done with the story yet; we still have to help Rich find his Squip and hopefully find a way to reconnect the two. 

Aaaaaand that’s all I got so far.

[crusty-the-snowman]

THE AU

How to train your dragon au Humans: Michael Jake Chloe Jenna Christine Dragons Rich - flame whipper Jeremy: night fury Mr.Heere: also nightfury fight me The squip: blue death (haha like red death) Brooke: Nadder? Changewing? Take this while I'm playing my How To Train Your Dragon Game SO Michael works as a blacksmith And so do his moms, Its kind of a family thing for them Michael, Jake, Jenna, Chloe and Christine are in training to learn how to slay dragons But theyre bad at working as a group, and on their own Christine and Jake tend to be spacey and were awful at keeping an eye on the dragons And Michael really just knows how to make weapons, not so much use them The people who stood the best chance were Jenna who honestly jyst likes studying dragons so she knows a lot about them And Chloe whos very good with weapons But those two couldnt work together very well. Mr.Reyes is dissapointed in his latest students. Michaels moms assured him its okay and if he can still be a blacksmith Its somewhat assuring, but not quite for Michael personally Jake would say his parents were dissapointed in him but they were taken by dragons, It wouldve made him a chief, but because hes so young Chloe parents were put in charge until Jakes old enough During a dragon raid one night Michael tried to shoot a Night Fury only to find himself horrifically missing and dissapointed in himself During said raid a couple dragons even go out of their cages A couple days later Michael went to gather wood only to find Night Fury scales Upon following them he found a A Night Fury with its legs wrapped up in a net in an odd way like it got itself tangled Michael with nothing else he can do with it, started to try and check out this strange dragon and document it the best he could. Only upon trying to look at its legs, unwrapped it just enough for the dragon to get away and found it didnt try to kill him. Because it was getting late Michael had to go home. The next day he went to retrieve the rope (he realized it could still be used) and noticed there were tracks assumedly from the Night Fury, but they looked bigger than he remembered Long story short Michael followed the tracks and finds the Night Fury. It doesnt appear injured but it appears VERY clumsy and occupied with a pond its trying to catch fish in. But Michael with a lack of planning for this to happen decides to start writing in a notebook the things he notices about the Night Fury from a distance. When he gets home he beings the rope back and lets his moms know he found it, (which theyre very proud of him for doing) So Michael starts leaving to study this Night Fury more, thinking he could be like the botanists that wrote the book of dragons and be really good at this. His moms are mainly happy hes found taking walks to be a sort of nice hobby He also notes Jake leaving late at night often as Michael comes back around the same time and maybe because hes really gay for Jake (this is relevant) After one very long day thats turning into night Michael realises something that he can't find an explanation for while watching this night fury hes dubbed Jeremy 1. Jeremy can't seem to hunt for himself but he seems well fed 2. Jeremy definitely doesnt match the size of the tracks he followed to him that seem to still match the shape of his foot Because he's stayed out so late though Michael gets his answer Theres the sound of a thud outside of the tunnel and in a panic he scrambles all the way inside the cave just barely out of the way to see another larger Night Fury to come in that definitely better matches the tracks he follwed The size difference suggests and same species suggests maybe this Jeremys dad. Which seems confirmed when he finds this is the the one who seems to be feeding Jeremy And it makes a lot more sense now Michael shot the net and missed hitting the Night Fury he was aiming for, but Jeremy was the one who ended up tangled up in it. For now Michael intends to leave but trying to go towards the tunnel doesnt go well when he drops his notebook Because of this in a matter of minutes hes stuck in place with a large Night Furry towering over him and huffing Michaels pretty sure this is it for him and closes his eyes regretting his life choices Until this Night Fury sneezed and proceeded to puke a fish on him like it puked fish up for Jeremy. And its clear he was just sniffing Michael and seemed to see him as a not a threat (unbeknownst to Michael its partially because Michaels been collecting NightFury scales that Jeremys been shedding and led to him smelling like him) Its also noteable Jeremy didn't take notice of Michael until his dad moved towards him. And as jeremys dad was getting Jeremys attention instead of making any noise he would manage to touch jeremy first to get his attention And until this point jeremy never took notice of Michael before when he he'd dropped things so appeared Jeremy had hearing problems which possibly had affected Jeremys abilty to hunt With this Michael came home very late and ended up having to tell his moms the truth who were very worried about him Surprisingly they werent mad considering they let Michael talk and explain how Jeremy and his dad didnt attack him and Jeremys dad even tried to feed him. Michaels moms thought this was interesting because nobody known anything about Night Furys before and Michael has the scales to prove it. They promise not to tell because Michael and his moms also know Chloes parents wouldnt be as understanding and if they heard Michael suddenly befriended dragons For now Michael keeps going alone to visit Jeremy who hes now found is quite friendly and even stops caring when Michael doesnt vary the scales with that makes him smell like a Night Fury If anything Jeremy gets excited the moment he can smell Michael and even starts saving food for when Michael shows up. (Though Michael just pretends to eat it and later bring it back to feed Jeremys dad) Over time it seems like Michaels been improving at the academy for (understanding) and "defeating" dragons, though Jake just seems better at dodging and being ignored by them Over time Michael even gets the idea to see if Jeremy can fly since hes yet to see it and one night hangs out to wait for Jeremys dad to also show up It's becomes apparent by comparison Jeremy has a weirdly formed tail wing which with a lack of hearing might mean Jeremy has some birth defects  [que some of Michael getting help from his moms to make a prosthetic similar to the movie] Michael then waits till Jeremys dad returns in hopes to fly with him and that way he can also count on him to teach Jeremy to fly assuming Jeremy hasnt been able to prior The first attempt is rough as Jeremy finds Michael cannot hold on if theyre flying upside down, but Mr.Heere is big enough he manages to grab Michael by the back of his shirt and carry Jeremy to the ground very carefully The next couple attemps was Michael and Jeremy learning to work together to fly and jeremy being taught to fly by jers dad who just so happy his son and the weird small fleshy dragon he's befriended are able to fly with him together Also in this time (maybe also because flying was way fun and Michael felt like he could do anything if he could help Jeremy fly) Michael finds the courage to ask out Jake and happen to run into him when Jakes returning home in the dead of night. Jake seems very frantic in getting inside which makes Michael very worried until he hears a squawk but not a bird type squawk And Jake panics and asks Michael to promise he wont tell anyone about what hes doing if Jake let's him inside Michaels says yes and next thing he knows Jake has pulled him into a kiss for a moment before pulling him inside One of the dragons that had escaped to academy during a raid was a red and light blue Flamewhipper, a dragon resembling a gecko and used to constantly drop its tail and paralyze people making fighting it hard Well, Michael thought it escaped like everyone else until suddenly said dragon has crawled down from the ceiling to try and eat fish and a plant called ceriman Jake seems to have in his backpack. Jake named this dragon Rich and admits during the raid he'd taken the time to free Rich feeling like the dragons weren't bad and they were essentially tormenting the dragons in there. However Rich ended up following Jake to his house. Possibly because Jakes house is warm compared to outside and Rich is very fond of crawling in and laying on Jakes jacket So every night since, Jakes been feeding Rich who has yet to leave on his own and seems to be particularly fond of Jake himself to the point Jake has been sharing a bed with him Which now explains why dragons lately have been ignoring Jake as he shells like another dragon Michael doesnt give specifics but says he has a similar situation occuring that his moms know about and decides to stay over with how late it is Rich steals part of Jakes bed Michael also offers for his moms to help Jake feed Rich but Jake declines saying hes worried Rich might not be fond of many people Later that night Jake also apologizes for kissing Michael saying he's been crushing on him for awhile and only did it because he was greatful Michael wasn't going to tell anyone Jakes explanation for his actions is a big gay mood for Michael Michael also asks if he can kiss Jake again Jake says yes and they kiss for a moment until Rich squawks at them because Jake stopped petting him The next day Jake is introduced to Jeremy who thinks Jake is another small fleshy dragon and tries to play with him also sniffs him heavily because he smells Rich and "where is other dragon??!! I can smell him but hes not on this fleshy dragon?!??" Michael explains Jeremy cant hear and has dad that typically feeds him, he also cant fly which is what Michael helps him do with his prosthetic sort of tail Jeremy pukes fish on Jake and Michael tells him he typically feeds it to Jeremys dad later at night Michael also tells Jake hes welcome to come by to visit jeremy and his dad as long as Michael's there too incase Jeremys dad acts differemt towards Jake smelling like a different dragon Jake also asks if Michael and his moms could help make him a saddel like Jeremy has but for Rich Part 1 bc it wont let me post more on this

[paladin-lynx]

Human SQUIPtober 2019, Day 10: Leaves

Human SQUIPtober 2019 Day 10: Leaves

Ships Involved: RiverWay (Two River SQUIP [River] x Broadway SQUIP [Ly])

Setting: AU where River and Ly somehow both became human after being SQUIPs for their respective Jeremys, and they now live together. They don’t quite understand how they can both exist, but it isn’t worth questioning it.

Trigger/Content Warnings: None

Author’s Notes: (I was almost on time with this one!) I’m back! Here’s a fluffier piece for this pair. Enjoy!

“Come on, Riv, you’re so slow! And you wonder why I call you an old man!”

River rolled his eyes, stuffing his hands into his pockets despite the fact that just a few years ago, he would’ve chided Jeremy for doing the same thing. Ly had convinced him that they should take advantage of the weather and take a stroll through the park. It was the middle of autumn, right at that perfect midway point between hot and cold where you needed a jacket, but nothing overly bulky or uncomfortable. River was wearing a light coat and scarf – the latter was more for the look than the practicality, sue him – while Ly ran ahead of him in a sweatshirt and beanie.

River absolutely loathed how adorable he looked.

Sometimes he found it unbelievable that they were, in a way, the same person, just different versions. People often mocked the theory of multiple universes where an entity could be one thing in one universe and the complete opposite in another. To be honest, River himself, with his constant overthinking and overanalyzing, would probably still be one of those people if it hadn’t been for the sudden appearance of the embodiment of the 3.0 Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor Patch at his doorstep, claiming to have been in the head of a completely different Jeremy Heere in a completely different Middleborough High.

“You specifically said you wanted to take a stroll, love,” River called after his companion, still keeping his leisurely pace. It was, in fact, a nice day and he was going to take the time to appreciate the fall scenery. This was one of his favorite times of year. Part of him wondered if it was because he’d been activated during this season, so it was one of the first things he got to experience through Jeremy’s eyes. The world was a ridiculous place, but it did have its nice aspects.

Ly finally slowed down so that River could catch up, turning to him with that stupid cheeky grin of his. “I can’t help getting excited. There’s so much to see and do out here, Riv. Stop being so dull.”

River blinked. That was right. This was Ly’s first autumn as a human, so of course he was going to be bouncing all over the place, just like he did with everything else he was experiencing for the first time as a human. River was half-convinced that the first time Ly had hooked up with someone – because of course he had done that, with his ‘cool party boy’ attitude – he’d probably finished early solely from how overwhelming all of the sensations were. River almost wanted to know so he could mock him for it, but at the same time, no thank you.

Even with the epiphany about Ly’s behavior, River still huffed. “You won’t be able to appreciate it if you’re just running past all of it.”

Ly sighed, readjusting his beanie. “I suppose you’re right. I’ll take it easy a bit.”

River couldn’t help a little smile, continuing along the path they were walking. “Come on, then.”

Ly walked beside him and gazed all around them. There was indeed a lot to take in. The trees had lost a lot of their leaves but weren’t completely bare yet. Brown, orange, and golden debris blazed against the green grass, and there was a slight nip in the breeze that whisked past that had River shrinking down into his coat for a brief moment, nuzzling his nose into his scarf. But just as quickly, the late afternoon sun melted away the chill.

It wasn’t as if Ly had been the only one with this idea. They weren’t alone at the park. There were plenty of people out. Families exploring the trails, people walking their dogs or letting them run free and frolic about, couples huddling together under the trees, and a plethora of others. River was pretty sure he spotted a group of teenagers decked out in costumes and armor rushing past at one point, weaving through the trees as they chased each other. He would bet they were LARPers. Judging by their outfits, from the glimpses he’d caught, it was some sort of fantasy adventure, like in Dungeons & Dragons.

Michael had once tried to get Jeremy to join one of his online D&D campaigns. Jeremy had refused because it was bad enough interacting with people he did know; he would be a mess with people he didn’t know and in a game that most of them had probably been playing for years that he had no idea about. Plus, that game involved math, and Jeremy despised math in all forms.

River furrowed his eyebrows at the thought, hurriedly shaking it away. He was here now. Jeremy and Michael were off living their best lives. Maybe Jeremy had joined the game after all. He’d like it. Christine would, too, at least the role-playing aspect.

River was having a difficult time pulling himself out of his own head, as he often did, but as always he was snapped back to reality by Ly’s voice: “Oh! Hello!”

He blinked and saw Ly kneeling down as a pair of dogs, tongues lolling from their mouths, bounded over to him. One was larger with curly golden fur while the other, which struggled a bit to keep up, was shorter and tubbier with darker brown fur, although River spotted some lighter markings on its belly. River guessed that the bigger one was a golden retriever and poodle mix – a goldendoodle, if he remembered currently – based on the wavy fur and the body shape. The smaller one took him a moment longer, unsure at first if it was a Boston terrier or a French bulldog, although he realized after a moment that it was too wide to be a Boston terrier.

Ly laughed as the goldendoodle eagerly lapped at his face and the bulldog jumped up to try and do the same. River watched from a safe few feet away, letting Ly have his moment, although after a moment the bulldog seemed to give up and decided to pick a new target, waddling over to River’s feet and giving him what almost looked like an open-mouthed smile.

River couldn’t help it as he chuckled and crouched down, offering the bulldog a few pats on the head, watching as it tried to lick his wrist. “Hello there, friend,” he greeted softly.

“Oh my God, I am so sorry!” River looked up to see a young woman, no older than twenty-five, jogging over to them with a bewildered look on her face. “They don’t normally run off like that, I guess they just got a bit too excited…” She leaned down to clip a leash to the goldendoodle’s collar, but Ly waved her away, grinning widely.

“It’s alright. We’re always happy to make a few new friends.” He peeked over at River. “Right, River?”

River, not wanting to be improper in front of a stranger, sighed softly, ruffling the bulldog’s ears as he gave the woman a polite smile. “It’s no trouble. I’m glad they stopped to see us instead of just booking it away from you.”

The woman laughed softly, and despite Ly’s insistence, she did clip the leashes onto the two dogs’ collars, just in case. “I know they would never hurt anyone, but you never know who might get scared, or annoyed.”

“Can I ask what their names are?” Ly questioned. River would never cease to be amazed at how quickly Ly could go from being a complete child to civil and well-mannered.

The woman smiled, pointing to the goldendoodle. “She’s Spaghetti”—she then pointed to the bulldog—“and he’s Meatball.”

Ly turned to River again, stars shimmering in his eyes as he grinned like an idiot. River wanted to tease him, but he felt his own heart melt at the woman’s words. He smiled softly down at Meatball, petting him again. “What cute names.”

“Thank you. I hate to pull them away from you, but I really do have to go…”

Ly leaned over to plant a little kiss on the top of Spaghetti’s head before getting to his feet. “Thank you for your time.”

She smiled and gave a little tug on the leashes, and the dogs trotted back over to her. They seemed well-trained, River thought to himself. He wondered what had caused them to just run away like they had. Were River and Ly that interesting? Or perhaps the two dogs had that strange sixth sense animals seemed to have and knew that something was off about them?

“Thank you for keeping them entertained.” The woman gave another smile and waved as she turned to lead the dogs away. “Have a nice day!”

“You too!” River and Ly called at the same time, exchanging a glance. Ly smirked and the moment was over, and River – as usual – turned away with a roll of his eyes. Soon enough, they were continuing on.

“Maybe we should get a pet,” Ly hummed.

River gave him a pointed look. “It’s enough work just looking after you.”

Ly laughed. “Oh, so I’m your pet now, am I?”

River blinked a few times before his cheeks warmed and he hid behind his scarf, looking away. “Why must you bring everything back to sex like a miscreant?”

“Everything comes from sex, dear River. In fact—”

“Do. Not. Finish that statement,” River practically growled.

Ly seemed to consider it for a moment before simply smiling and clasping his hands behind his back, walking ahead and humming under his breath. River sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose, before following.

They walked in rather comfortable silence for a little while. It seemed they were both finally taking the chance to actually take in the setting around them and just enjoy the splendor that the park had to offer. Maybe Spaghetti, Meatball, and that young woman’s friendly attitude had put them in a better temperament. Maybe they could actually have a peaceful rest of their day here.

“River, River, look!”

Or not.

River raised an eyebrow as Ly pointed to a bettered tended-to area of the park. The fallen leaves were in large, neat piles underneath their trees. “What?”

“What do you mean, what?” Ly huffed. “The leaves!”

“Yes, what about them?”

Ly groaned, rolling his eyes. River furrowed his eyebrows before he suddenly realized what Ly was planning. “Ly,” he warned.

Ly turned to him with a grin before sprinting away, toward the piles. River’s eyes widened as he chased after him. “Ly, someone probably spent all day raking th—!”

He winced, slowing to a stop as Ly dove straight into the pile, face-first. He was laughing as the leaves dipped under him, some flying up only to float back down on top of him. Of course, River had memories from Jeremy’s brain of the boy running around with Michael when they were littler – and maybe not so little, too – and jumping into the piles of freshly raked leaves, much to the chagrin of an exhausted Mr. Heere. Even so, even with the joy he knew the boys had felt from the silly antic, River sighed, grimacing slightly as he walked over closer to the pile. “Are you happy with yourself?”

“Very,” Ly sighed out, flipping to lay on his back in the leaf-pile, arms and legs splayed out as he closed his eyes. He looked about ready to go to sleep.

“Come on, Ly, do you have any idea what could be in those leaves? Dirt and bugs and debris and—”

River stopped when he saw Ly had opened an eye and was smirking at him. Once again, with how well they knew one another, River knew what he was planning. He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t you goddamn dare.”

“Or what, Riv?” Ly purred, pushing himself up to sit.

River took a step back, but Ly was faster, grabbing onto River’s arms in a surprisingly strong grip and letting himself fall back into the pile. “Ly—!” River started, only to let out a horribly undignified shriek as he lost his balance and tumbled forward, falling into the leaves and also mostly on top of Ly.

With their combined weight, they only sank further into the pile and River found himself surrounded on all sides by leaves. It was warmer than he expected, and he could begin to understand how Ly had looked so comfortable before. However, he still pushed himself up so he was on his hands and knees over Ly instead of just collapsed on top of him. Ly had a grin on his face that could put the Cheshire cat to shame, and River once again found it hard to believe that this man had once formulated a half-decent plan to take over the human race. He scowled, praying that no one had seen – or heard – any of that. “Now are you happy with yourself?”

“Very,” Ly cackled out.

River sighed heavily, shaking his head, letting loose a few leaves that had gotten stuck there. “Unbelievable. Honestly, you’re supposed to be so much more advanced than me and yet here you are, acting like—”

Ly cut River off again, except this time, it was because he had leaned up to press his lips to River’s, kissing him gently. It did the trick and River shut up, eyes widening and cheeks flaming, and he couldn’t even move. He didn’t kiss back, but he didn’t pull away. He was just there, frozen like a machine that had short-circuited. Ly pulled away after only a few heartbeats, but it may as well have been hours in River’s mind. He simply stared, dumbfounded, at Ly under him, mouth slightly agape in shock.

Ly gave him a genuine smile, not one of his usual cocky smirks. “I just want you to have a bit of fun for once,” he murmured.

River blinked again, rather owlishly, before groaning and nuzzling into his scarf again as if to hide away. It seemed to have become more of a safety blanket than he’d intended. “I often question your idea of ‘fun,’” he muttered.

Ly chuckled, before abruptly falling quiet, eyes widening a bit. “Hold still,” he whispered, reaching up. River listened but his brow creased as Ly’s fingers brushed just slightly against his hair, and a moment later, Ly pulled his hand back. River’s breath caught as he saw the caterpillar, small and fuzzy, that was leisurely inching its way across Ly’s hand.

“How the hell did I not feel that there?” River breathed.

“Because my kiss was so great that you couldn’t focus on anything else?” Ly teased, chuckling.

River huffed. “Well, I was right about there being bugs.”

“Lighten up, River. We like making new friends, remember? Come on.”

Hesitantly, River moved to lay beside Ly in the pile, offering his hand when the caterpillar got to the edge of Ly’s. It didn’t even miss a beat as it crawled onto the new territory. River pulled his hand back to himself, smiling just a bit as he turned his hand this way and that, watching the caterpillar tirelessly climb about.

“Aw, he likes you,” Ly cooed, leaning his head against River’s shoulder.

River scoffed, but his eyes never left his new little companion. He was silent for a moment. “…Maybe I’ll reconsider about getting a pet.”

He tried to ignore the way his chest warmed as Ly laughed against him.