#the only true part about this is that humans arent always available

[maeljade]

I must not argue with AI bros on reddit.

I must not argue with AI bros on reddit.

I must not ...

OH FUCKING HELL. Oh no please stop. Please. This is too stupid. I genuinely hope they are making all of that shit up or else they should be fired.

[drabblers]

Three months late

Prompt: Mystique Fandom: Rurouni Kenshin Setting:  Modern AU, Actors. This is part two continuation for the one-shot: “A Comedy of Romance.” The last part was “Goodbyes aren’t always final“. Characters: Kenshin Himura, Kaoru Kamiya, Misao Makimachi  Word count: 3307

<…and if you would like to see more about my interpretation of the character, I would be pleased to do also demos from other scenes. Looking forward to hearing back from you. Respectfully yours, Kamiya Kaoru.>

Kaoru frowned at the email she had written, gnawing on her bottom lip thoughtfully. No, it was as good as it could get, she decided and pressed send. The email left, leaving her to stare at her depressingly empty inbox. Twenty-two applications send, only two replies – and both of them nicely worded versions of “sorry, not interested.”

It sucked to be an actress between jobs, with no good prospects waiting.

True, it was the same for all the starting actors and yes, she knew the industry was extremely competitive. But still, if she just got a chance, a real chance to play a significant role in an action movie… She sighed deeply. Sometimes her dream just felt too distant. Unreachable. Like a mission impossible. But Kenshin had told her that she just had to keep trying and to differentiate herself from her competition the best she could. For example, when she had an option to choose scenes to do a demo for, she should select ones that suited her strengths instead of going for the popular choices.

The thought of Kenshin drove her to check her mailbox’s spam folder, just out of habit. Ads for sunglasses, bags, online shop adds, and nothing else. Just typical.

It had been twelve weeks since the last shooting day party, since that night with Kenshin… since he had left for the Gobi desert. She hadn’t heard anything from him since then. No phone call. No email. No message. Nothing. His shoots for his next movie had supposed to take six to eight weeks, but now… it had been three months. Had she just dreamed that night? Maybe she had been too drunk and just come up with this elaborate make-believe memory and fooled herself into believing that Himura Kenshin had asked her to date him?

Or maybe, there was no self-deceit or mystique to it at all and it was like Misao said, that her co-actor had just made promises to get into her pants and after he had succeeded, he had fucked off to his merry ways and left her reeling.

She shook her head.

No, Kenshin wouldn’t do that. He was not the sleazy type, thank you very much. Which she had tried to explain to Misao as well – but given that her secrecy contract forbid her from mentioning Kenshin’s name until it was officially announced – her explanations had fallen on flat ears.

Kaoru groaned to her hands. She was frustrated and angry at herself, at Misao and most of all – at Kenshin. Why hadn’t he contacted her? It was the Gobi desert, not Mars! They had some form of communication down there, hadn’t they? Even if they didn’t have reliable phone lines or internet, there had to be old-fashioned snail mail or a courier or... something? Surely, If he wanted to, he had to have some way of contacting her?

…If he wanted to.

Gods, that was the one thing the devil on her shoulder kept whispering her. That she had understood the whole dating thing wrong and it was like Misao claimed, that he had just wanted one night’s fun.

No. Nope. She slapped her cheek, as if to drive away the poisonous thought, and rose, heading to her kitchen. Misao should be coming back any minute now and she had promised to cook tonight. Nothing fancy. Just something simple even a kitchen disaster like her could throw on a frying pan and call it dinner.

She lived in a two bedroom apartment in downtown Tokyo with her roommate since University days, Misao Makimachi. It was a useful arrangement for both of them. After all, freelance reporters and actresses shared the same problem: they got paid per project basis.

Kaoru had just gotten the frozen dinner on a pan when out of a sudden, the doorbell rang.

“Wait a minute!” Kaoru yelled, dumping tofu and frozen vegetables on a pan and setting to heat to hot. It should take several minutes to warm up anyways. She huffed, sweeping her hair aside and looked down at her comfortable pajamas. She had not bothered to dress up for the day, after all, it wasn’t like she was going anywhere. Should she change clothes to answer the door? Nah, no need. It was just Misao.

The doorbell rang again.

Kaoru growled. Seriously! Was Misao carrying something large, or just being lazy that she was not using her own keys to open the door?

She pulled the door open, about to say something rude but the words died on her tongue and she blanched in realization…

...and slammed the door shut right in front of his face.

———————————————–

“Oro?” Kenshin blurted, too stunned for more cohere words.

Something slammed against the door with a thud. Her back? Then, her shaky inhale echoed in the silence.

Kenshin lowered his hand and wetted his lips. “Miss Kaoru…?”

“Why didn’t you send a message?” She asked softly. “Even a letter? You had to have some form of communication available, even down there in the middle of nowhere.”

“I… I, ah… Um, one is sorry, that he is.”

“Sorry…?” She asked, taking a pointed pause. “I waited for you. Week, four weeks… twelve weeks and nothing.”

There was hurt in her tone: bewilderment, pain… but also anger. Kenshin squeezed his hands to a tight fist. God dammit! He should have known that man couldn’t keep things professional between them.

He took an inhale, finally gathering himself enough to speak. “This one did send you messages. Every day, in fact. But it seems that they got lost in transit, that they did. This one is sorry, that he is. Miss Kaoru – please, forgive this one.”

Clothes rustled, and something hit the door – her fist? No, her forehead?

He heard her drawn breath. “What happened?” She asked, her voice wavering only a little. “If what you say is true, how can you lose over a  hundred messages?”

“That’s… Um, it’s a long story. A very personal story, that it is.” Kenshin cringed. “But in essence, this one’s interpreter… well, Enishi has a reason for being angry with this one, but this one honestly assumed that he could put his feelings aside and maintain a professional relationship.”

“…your interpreter?”

“Err, yes,” Kenshin said. “This one doesn’t speak Chinese – more than few words, that is – and whenever one does movies with Chinese one needs help with the language.”

The lock twisted, and she opened the door.

He stared at her, drinking in every detail of her. Her hair was in a messy bun, and she was wearing her pajamas and under her eyes, she had dark spots, like she had been trouble sleeping. Yet, despite everything, she looked like home and something in his chest ached. He wanted nothing more than to pull her close and tell her how he had missed her.

“Let me get this straight,” she started, gnawing on her bottom lip. “Your interpreter had a grudge against you? And he took it out by not sending your messages? Did the guy never want to have work in the industry or what?”

“Um, that’s… well, most likely he knew this one wouldn’t rat on him.” Kenshin hazarded, “As this one said, Enishi has a good reason for his anger, that he has. You see, this one, well, one was, but...” He stopped abruptly and looked aside, clearly trying to find the words but failing miserably.

She blinked slowly. “Um…”

Instead of continuing his stammering, Kenshin shook his head and dug into his shoulder bag and pulled out a stack of letters with a huge red stamp with Japanese text for "Return to sender" on them. “This one picked these up at the mail office in China. See the address?”

She took the stack gingerly, turning the unopened stack of letters in her hands. “That’s my name but… what the hell?”

“Enishi did send the letters as this one instructed him to, that he did. He just misspelled the address and when the letters did not reach a proper destination, they were returned to China – and given the distances, this one only found out about this last week, that one did. Note how small the error is?”

“Are you sure it was deliberate?” She asked. “I mean, even to me – it looks like a human error.”

Kenshin exhaled, relieved that she seemed to believe him. “I… Well, could this one come in?” He asked, glancing over his shoulder where a neighbor was peeking from the doorway. “One will tell you, but as it relates to personal history, one would prefer to keep it between the two of us, that he would.”

Miss Kaoru followed his gaze and blanched. “Err, yes – of course.”

She opened the door, wordlessly inviting him in… into an apartment with visible puffs of smoke floating around.

Kenshin stared. “Um-“

Which was, of course, the moment when the fire alarm blared to life, filling the apartment with ear-splitting beeping.

“Oh fuck.” Miss Kaoru said, pressing her hands to her ears. “Wait here!”

And she ran off to where the smoke was coming from.

Too curious to his own good, Kenshin followed her to – kitchen? Miss Kaoru had pushed a frying pan onto the kitchen sink with its contents and all and was staring at the fire alarm fixated to her ceiling like she wanted to smash it to pieces.

No wonder why, like him – she was on the shorter side and the kitchen did not have a convenient a ladder or step-stool. Well, not a stool most people would use to reach high places.

Kenshin grinned and without a second thought, grabbed a chair from next to her small dining table, stepped on its seat, tilted it on two legs and climbed to stand on the backrest, balancing it while reaching to the offending fire alarm.

And there!

Blessed silence.

Miss Kaoru stared up at him, her mouth falling open. “So you really do your own stunts—“

Kenshin covered his mouth with his hand, but couldn’t quite contain his snort in time.

She pouted at him.

And then he really couldn’t help it, but burst into laughter. Gods, her expression! He knew it wasn’t polite – no, it was downright rude but she had an unparalleled ability to make him laugh and forget his worries and stress. It was amazing. Just for that, he would have fallen in love with her…

“Mou! It’s not that funny,” she grumbled. “And get down here before you fall down, break your neck and force me to cart you down to hospital.”

“Sorry,” He straightened and jumped down. “It just seemed to be the fastest way to solve the problem, that it was.”

“I was not complaining.” She grumbled, turning to the offending attempt at dinner.

“Kaoru…”

———————————————————

His voice was soft, gentle when he whispered those syllables. He always said: Miss. He had never called her by her bare name. A shiver raced down her spine and something fluttered at the pit of her belly.

She didn’t turn around. Because if she did… she wasn’t sure what she would do.

Footsteps behind her, and then he stopped, close enough that his breath tingled at her neck. “I… This one missed you.”

She swallowed. “I missed you too.”

He laid his chin on her shoulder, resting his arms around her waist. Not forceful. He was simply there. Warm. Solid. And there. For her. She inhaled deeply, turned around in his embrace and asked, “are we still dating?”

“I… This one…” He frowned. “Aren’t we?” He finally asked. “One means, if you don’t want to…”

“I do!” She hurried to assure him. “I want to. I just, it happened so soon an then I didn’t hear anything from you-“

“One is sorry about that, but there was-“

“I believe you,” Kaoru hurried to interrupt him. “I know you said the whole thing with messages and interpreter spiraled out of your control and I want to know all about it, but before that… I just, are you sure that you want to date? With me?”

He blinked slowly. “Why wouldn’t one want to date with you?”

She looked aside, gnawing on her bottom lip. “It’s, well, you are you and I am…“ She waved her hand, directing his gaze to take note of the apartment’s small kitchen and all signs of student lifestyle style therein. The difference to the standards he was used to had to be obvious. After all, even when discounting the fact that he was a celebrity, he was exceedingly well of man and she… she was just a rookie actress starting in her career with a whole bunch of student loans to pay for.

He took his time studying her apartment from his spot, still holding her in his embrace. Finally, he noted out loud, “It’s homely, that it is. A lot cozier than the apartment this one used to live when he was just starting out, that it is.” He smiled at her, a hint of mischief sparkling in the corner of his eye. “Did you know, this one afforded to purchase a futon only after the Legend of Hitokiri Battousai was published and started breaking the box office records? Before that, one used to sleep curled against the wall.”

“…huh?” Kaoru gaped. “You mean…”

He shrugged. “This one knows very well how difficult it is to start out in this career, that he does.” He drew his arms a little tighter around her and looked at her seriously. “One knows how very proud and self-reliant you are, that one does. But if you ever feel that you could accept introductions or some other assistance one could offer…”

“No!” She yelped. “No, I’m fine. Thanks for offering though.” She mumbled, feeling the heat to rise to her cheeks. Gods, did he think she was asking for help? She wasn’t about to take advantage of him! “I was just…” She paused, and thought through what she had been about to ask which really came down to the question: are you sure that am I good enough for you? And suddenly, she felt very stupid. “It’s nothing”. She mumbled, pressing her face into his shoulder.

The whole time she had known him, Kenshin had been very consistent in his appreciation of her. His glances at her, his constant smiles, the way he always took her questions and concerns seriously and offered any help he could… No, even if she had no idea why he had decided to like her, it was obvious that he did enjoy her company.

“Kaoru…” He hesitated. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes,” She mumbled. “I just feel stupid, that’s all.”

He huffed fondly, stroking her cheek, wordlessly asking her to look up. “You are amazing.” He smiled. “You are funny, charismatic and if one could, one would never again leave your side.”

That last line! Only he could repeat his character’s line at her like they hadn’t spoken those words to each other in front of cameras and five dozen people three months ago!

She grinned, and replied her part, “Then stay.” And rose on tiptoes to kiss him.

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back, drawing her to his embrace like they had never parted. They kissed and kissed each other again…

“Kaoru, you are never gonna believe this, but the neighbor’s old lady said she saw…“ A female voice called out, only to turn to a shriek: “Oh my god.”

A shopping bag dropped to the floor.

Kaoru froze and turned to look at her roommate staring at them. Blushing, Kaoru untangled herself from Kenshin’s embrace and swallowed, “Um… Hi, Misao-chan.”

“Kaoru, you…” Her roommate stared. “That’s…”

Kenshin rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Um... Hi, I don’t believe that Miss Kaoru has mentioned me.” He smiled awkwardly, stepped closer to Misao and offered his hand for a handshake, “I am Kaoru’s colleague, Himura Kenshin, that I am. It’s nice to meet you.”

Misao took his hand and shook it. “Uh, Misao. Makimachi. I have heard quite a bit about you.”

“You have?” Kenshin asked, guileless.

“Uh huh.” Misao nodded, her eyes lighting up with unholy glee. “But more importantly, what was with that kiss? Do you kiss all your colleagues like that?”

Kaoru felt like face-palming. “Misao…”

“Hey, hey,” Misao protested. “It’s a valid question! A girl’s gotta know these things.”

Kenshin stiffened. “Uh… No. That’s not the case, that it isn’t.”

“Then, what’s with the kiss?” Misao’s smile had teeth. “Because if you step in Kaoru’s life just when it suits you and end up hurting my friend…”

Kenshin looked at Kaoru, a question in his eyes. Clearly, he wasn’t about to say anything if she wasn’t okay with it.

Kaoru’s heart melted. She smiled, and stepped to his side and wrapped an arm around his waist. “We are dating.” She said to her friend. “It’s a little bit sensitive information, so please could you keep it to yourself?”

Misao blinked. “Okay, if you say so… but, uh, what about the three-month long disappearing act? Weren’t you angry about that?”

Now Kaoru did cover her eyes and groaned into her palm. How often had she talked, ranted and whined about her mysterious colleague that had left of to shoot his film in China during the last three months to Misao? She couldn’t even venture a guess. “Yes I was, but there was a bit of trouble with the interpreter and...” She trailed off, noting how tense Kenshin seemed to be. Hadn’t he said it was private? Given his habit of understating things, it really had to be something he wasn't comfortable at speaking about. She looked at Kenshin and said decisively, “It’s all fine now.”

He shot her a relieved little smile that spoke more than a thousand words.

She had made the right choice then. She exhaled in relief, spun around and grabbed her phone from the kitchen counter. “But before that, perhaps we could order something to eat?”

Misao glanced at the kitchen sink. “Don’t tell me you burned the dinner again.”

“This time it wasn’t my fault!” Kaoru protested, holding out her phone. “Is Chinese fine for everyone?” She froze, realizing the faux pas as soon as she said it. He has just been three months in China. He had to be sick and tired of Chinese after that.

Kenshin grinned sheepishly. “Or perhaps this one could cook?” He volunteered. “You seemed to have planned on having a homemade meal tonight.”

Kaoru’s stare turned to shock.

Even Misao boggled. “You cook…?”

“Sure,” Kenshin quipped back and leaned down to gather the groceries Misao had dropped to the floor.

“Kenshin…” Kaoru hesitated.

“It’s fine.” He smiled at her. “This one enjoys cooking. It’s one of his hobbies even to this day, that it is. Besides, one did interrupt your cooking rather badly, that one did...”

"That's..." Kaoru cringed.

"Please, Miss Kaoru." Kenshin smiled at her. "Let this one do this small thing for you."

What could she say to that? Wordless, Kaoru nodded at him.

In silence, She and Misao settled down to sit around the dinner table and stare the spectacle of international action mega-star, Himura Kenshin unpacking Misao's groceries with quiet efficiency, and them rummaging through their fridge, pantry, and freezer for supplies to cook a dinner for them.

It was quite obvious that he knew what he was doing.

Kaoru gnawed on her bottom lip in silence, and Misao leaned over to whisper to her ear. “Forget everything I said and hold to him for your life. You and him... It's obviously a match made in heaven.”

AN: Happy new year!

[tumblunni]

....Man, I think Haunter is my favourite pokemon again. I usually have a brief period of each generation’s best new ghostie temporarily stealing the number one spot, but i usually tend to lose the hype for them around a year later and they join my just Gigantic Pile Of Second Favourites I Cannot Choose Between And then I used to dislike Sableye, Banette and Rotom but they all took the top fave spot as soon as I was like ‘hey if i actually use on on my team maybe I’ll like it- I REALLY LIKE IT’. but I mean, when i love them more because of my personal one i had on my team, or my headcanons or fanfics or etc, I think maybe that’s a dishonest fave cos they’re not my fave on their own benefits? And Rotom stayed in the top fave spot for a really long time cos it not only had a lot of love as my main heavy hitter in platinum but also has a big role as the main mon of one of my fave characters. And like five other fave characters in random anime one off episodes! And then it was a pokedex! EVERYTHING ROTOM TOUCHES TURNS TO GOLD

Buuuuuuuuut.... Haunter was like.. My Original Favourite My first favourite pokemon was pikachu, and then chansey, but Haunter was my first favourite ghost and it says a lot that it still holds up even all these generations later when the type finally got fleshed out with as many members as other types. Man its so funny in retrospect that I’m pretty defined as The Super Ghost Fan nowadays but I wasn’t really into them for the first three generations of pokemon. There just wasnt ANYONE except the haunter line in gen 1, and only misdreavus got added, and then in gen 3 I didnt initially like banette’s design in its first pretty awful sprite so i felt like duskull was the only good one and i didnt like its evolutions. Another reason to love sinnoh: it added great ghosties, evolutions for past ones, and made a lot of past ones available at the same time, and i mean we got our first ghost legendary too! The generation of spoop hype! (until kalos was even more of that, but it was less of a big deal cos ghosts werent so rare now)

ANYWAY Haunter is REALLY GOOD AND GREAT Its design is so simple yet perfect?? Like I know it was designed to be one of the most literal middle evolutions ever, its just meant to be basically.. half of gengar. With its oldest pokedex entries that was back before they really decided what they wanted to do with the ghost type, it was all ‘its a mysterious creature from an unknown dimension and nobody is sure if its a real ghost’. So its unclear whether its design is really meant to be the head pokemon gastly growing its first baby arms, or like.. all three stages are the same pokemon slowly emerging into our dimension, with Gengar being the true form? In any case, I never really felt Gengar was very special, aside from the fan theory it’s a doppelganger of clefable. (I mean its name is literally a mispelling of doppelganger!) like.. it always felt like a letdown of a final form? it would be so great on its own, its just a nice solid silly ‘monster under the bed’ type of ghost, a fluffy bugbear with a lot of sass and the minor original trait of its face being super big and kinda in the wrong place compared to clefable. Makes you imagine it scares people by going full cleff mimic and then just turning around in an alleyway XD I actually had a fan pokemon as a kid called Gambal which was literally just a chansey equivelant of gengar, and had powers of bad luck and stuff. But then the name ended up going to an entirely different fakemon instead who was a rabbit thing that was a game corner prize. Oh and I also had a geng of celebi! Called Tanka just cos that was my name for all my ocs at the time. Its just a type of poetry that i thought sounded Hella Cool for no logical reason. But yeah, I drew like a million pics of every pokemon as a ghost version and its just funny how subconciously i was a ghost fan even before there were more than four ghosts in existance XD

BUT WHERE WAS I Oh yeah, gengar is dissappointing! And its unfair cos if it was an unrelated pokemon on its own, I would like it! It just doesn’t hold up favourably to how awesome haunter and gastly’s concepts are. i mean, look here we have two different quality takes on the ‘floating head’ concept and then its final form isn’t a floating head. HOW DARE YOU. I guess gengar kinda still keeps the aesthetic with its oversized face, kinda? Like its a giant head just mimicing being a regular pokemon? But I mean i think a giant head with arms and legs stops being a giant head. Its why Nanimon and Mamemon aren’t as cute as regular sperical types. I think the only exception is when its a giant head with ONLY legs, and they’re small rabbit legs specifically- like Lotad or Tokomon!

Anyway, nowadays I’ve grown more appreciation for Gengar (again) because I had one in my team and I love him so I can’t not love my best friend. He has an interesting story cos he’s actually That One Haunter, lol! That memorable npc in DPPt who trades you a haunter but its holding an everstone so it doesn’t evolve. I was still equally annoyed at her even though I’d planned to press B and keep it as a haunter anyway! XD But then the cute default name Gaspar made me get really attatched to him, and man i have so many super detailed story and personality headcanons for this little goofball. Eventually he did actually evolve into Gengar, cos I traded him temporarily to a friend in order to transfer him between generations, and i forgot gengar was a trade evo so i didnt tell her to not do it. I still feel really bad that i overreacted about it, i worry that maybe I made her feel guilty! Ultimately, it was probably a good thing, because I kept my other bestie Reaper the Sneasel unevolved forever cos i dislike Weavile, and like.. obviously he kinda sucks in battle because of this. I still love all my pokemon regardless of whether they’re useful in competitive, tho! Oh and mega gengar is pretty sweet, too! It brings back a lot of haunter’s appeal! I just wish that i never saw its feet, seriously. I thought that it was just a head and arms again, but apparantly it just spends 99% of the time phased into objects and its legs just look really awful and unfitting when you see them. It makes it like a top heavy buff design and that really doesn’t work?? It sucks cos i LOVE the other ‘skipped leg day’ pokemon Mega Swampert, so i dunno why I don’t like the same thing on ghosts! Dusknoir and Jellicent are my least favourite ghosts ever. So yeah my opinion on gengar now is like... mixed? i don’t dislike it like I used to, but I don’t really love it on its own benefits or anything, i just don’t dislike it cos i associate it with a sweet and cute bestie who saved me a lot in sinnoh due to his hypnosis attack. But I still think it’s a worse design than haunter, which is The Best Design In All Of Pokemon. Even when I flip flop on what my favourite POKEMON is, I still think it’s my favourite design! Rotom is maybe the most creative design CONCEPT amoung the ghosts, but Haunter is just... so good at what it set out to do.

LETS TALK AGAIN ABOUT HOW GREAT HAUNTER IS I mean just LOOK AT IT, its just SO GOOD Floating heads are great, and gastly was a great way to take that concept and make it ghostly! And its so cool that its basically a hitodama/will of the wisp/generic spooky flame face from every jrpg ever, except made more original because its made of like.. pure darkness smog mist instead. The colour choices for it are really good too, i always really loved the dithering effect they used to make it in the sprite-based games! Its one of the few pokemon where i love the regualr better than the shiny, even though the shiny isn’t one of those terrible neon green ones. It has one of the best shinies and that shade of smoky purple still captures my heart more! i think i would prefer the shiny if regular gengar was bedsheet white though, not blue and only turning white when it mega evolves. That’s weird. AND THEN HAUNTER IS JUST AN EVEN BETTER FLOATING HEAD It loses the cool smoke but it gains these pointy ears/cliche vampire hair shaped head protrusions that just work SO WELL. Like its a floating head that isn’t just a plain sphere! That’s the one part of floating head monsters that generally sucks, a lot of them outside of the creativity of pokemon tend to be super samey generic bald spherical angry man heads. A floating head of a guy with a cliche horror B-movie hairstyle is great! And especially when its a really unhumanoid jack-o-lantern face that’s just like.. replicating that hairstyle without actually being a hairstyle. thats my fave kind of humanoid type pokemon, I love when they’re still animals or monsters or even inanimate objects that are MIMICKING humans, not just a lazy thing that looks like an actual human wearing a costume. I’m probably in the minority but this is why I prefer Mr Mime to stuff like Machamp or Delfox or Incineroar. And then also I love how it takes Gastly’s grumpy eyes and softens them a bit to look more mischeivious instead of angry. Looking always in a bad mood is probably the biggest reason i don’t like Gastly the most, i just feel sad for it. Another reason why I love sinnoh lol, it had a big happy mischief face on its sprite! (shame platinum ruined it a bit, but HGSS was even cuter) And then its just such a creative way of giving a floating head some limbs while not ruining its floating head aesthetic. Floaty rayman arms is such a ghostly thing even though there arent many ghosts that use that design aesthetic!

Honestly thats the biggest reason haunter is so great, really. it just.. encapsulates ghost, even though it doesnt have like ANY cliche ghost design elements! its such a good original concept for like the simplest and most basic pure image of ghostliness in this world. It somehow feels like its exactly what ghosts are, without taking any shortcuts from other popular ghost characters. its so simple and iconic! Its a new thing that could fit in perfectly with all those ancient B-movie creatures and I’d never question it! Gastly is at least slightly based on a will o wisp, and gengar is a bugbear/monster under the bed/shadow creature/doppelganger super combination creature. But in the aim of making something in-between the two, they accidentally made something that doesn’t look very much like ANY of them and stands out miles above them! I think this entire evolution line has had such great staying power because every member of it looks really distinct from the others, while also vaguely fitting together with theme and colourscheme so they don’t seem distinct in a BAD way. Any of these would be equally beloved as entirely separate mons, but linking them together makes them oddly endearing as a weird ragtag bunch of buddies! Its like the addams family!

Oh, but my one and only complaint is that Haunter’s gameboy era design looks better than how it got changed once the graphics got better.

To be entirely honest, I think that the changed version was their intent right from the beginning, and the cooler aesthetic one was just an accident of the limited graphics. Cos I mean the anime had that design from the beginning, after all! BUT STILL, I love it so much more and I wish it could have been proper canon. or at least remained as its shiny form or something! (A mild blue hint instead of a mild purple hint is really boring, this shiny only looks good on gastly...) The glowy outline is probably the best part, though i do also like how the colours stay more matched with gastly instead of the smog colour becoming the body colour. Actually its not even that, its just a random less appealing deep purple, it might have been cooler if it remained that lighter shade of lilac? Also it sucks that haunter retained the glow around its hands at least in the gameverse until we got 3D models. It never had that in the anime so i guess they removed it to remain consistant but like.. WHY! It doesn’t look as cool with red glow on purple as opposed to purple glow on black, but I still really liked it. Like you could have at least kept the glow when it uses attacks or something?

Oh, and isn’t it so weird that so many ghosts have had all black removed from their design as the generations go on? Like.. I mean I don’t think they did this to haunter cos they feared it was similar to Jynx, it isn’t remotely humanoid and it doesn’t have a stereotypical face or anything. And it wouldnt make sense cos they kept it on gastly. But then also banette has gone from black to an increasingly lighter grey, and its EEEEEEEVEN lighter on merchandising! I waited ages for an official banette plush, and it is a really sweet little thing thats so perfect... but then its light grey? I don’t mind cos it makes my plushie feel like more of an individual at least. Also its annoying that mega banette started off as the same dark grey/black that banette originally was, but then its one of the few pokemon that got a big change between XY and SuMo, aside from new animations and stuff. now its light grey too! Booooooo! Other ghosts that’ve experienced The Greying: Duskull, Dusknoir already started off lighter than its pre-evo and then still got more so as time went on, and Misdreavus turned green and then blue instead of grey but its still the same sort of thing. Now the only real black/dark grey ghosts we have left are Yamask and Phantump, and its just.. so weird?? Cos like none of the black dark-types have had big colour changes except Sneasel. I dunno, maybe they’re doing this to make the ghost and dark types more distinct, making it more like purple is the signature colour of ghosts? But I mean its the type icon colour for poison and psychic too so this just makes the colourschemes LESS distinct... Also I just think that the dark grey banette and the black haunter looked so much better, so it sucks that out of all the ghosts it had to be the ones I love! And out of all dark types it had to be my favourite too! (And sneasel is my fave ice type too!)

...anyway GHOSTS and HAUNTER I LOVE THEM and I’m sorry i rambled for like an hour writing all this THEYRE JUST SO FUCKING CUTE AND SWEET

oh and one last thing!! I love how haunter established the trend of ghost types being more mischievious and misunderstood than actually evil Well, i mean all three of its evo line starred in that episode of the anime, but Haunter was the one that went with ash at the end and got one more episode of cuteness afterward. That whole mini arc was the MOST MEMORABLE PART OF THE SHOW for me, I couldnt believe it was so short when i rewatched it! I totally misremembered haunter sticking around for half a season or something, cos it was so endearing to me. And its still so endearing to me every time the games decide to make a new ghost be harmless or sad, or harmless and sad. or even harmful and sad! i mean i cried the most at banette even though its past of being an abandoned toy is supposed to just be a justification why its the most angry and dangerous ghost. I’M SURE I COULD HEAL IT WITH HUGS, yells bunni, as they essentially glomp the pokemon equivelant of a shark...

god i just love ghosts so much and specifically haunter the most much hug your haunter today also your banette also your rotom also pumpkaboo and litwick and phantump and duskull...

[fitnesshealthyoga-blog]

New Post has been published on https://fitnesshealthyoga.com/the-buzz-on-bees-why-buckets-of-honey-arent-the-only-reason-you-should-consider-this-rewarding-hobby-news/

The buzz on bees: Why buckets of honey aren’t the only reason you should consider this rewarding hobby | News

On a nice spring day like this, thousands of honeybees are zipping in and out of Mike Rekart’s hives. The Denton County Beekeepers Association member sits about 6 feet away with a beer, watching the ladies — all worker bees are female — return from their journeys. The “pollen baskets” on their back legs are packed with yellow dust from the 50 to 100 flowers each has visited.

A steady buzzing emanates from the wooden box. That sound, as distinctive to bees as honey itself, comes from the insects’ wings beating up to 200 times a second. It does not rattle Mike, who is relaxing in his Denton garden with no special gear on.

“One of the big things the beekeepers in this area are after is gentle bees,” he says. “I can get close to mine. They don’t sting my dog. The strain I have is not aggressive. We’re able to live in harmony with them very easily.”

Mike is watching his hive not just for his own enjoyment, but to see if he notices anything amiss or unusual. Catching a problem early and responding to it is crucial to successful beekeeping — something he found out the hard way during the first two years of his hobby.

“I didn’t do well,” he says. “I made it through the summer, and then it all died. I tried to redo some things myself, and I was just failing. Bees are very forgiving if you get on something that happens to them fast, but I was uneducated about the signs of things happening. I needed some guidance.”

Fortunately, that guidance is available through the Denton County Beekeepers Association for any Denton County resident who is considering the rewarding hobby of beekeeping.

“I joined the club, and man, it was the bomb,” says Mike, who now has one “giant” hive in his backyard, eight more on shared land, more honey than he can eat, and a garden of well-pollinated lemons and avocados. “I feel like I’ve got 30 years’ worth of knowledge now, not three, because the club is really more than the sum of its parts. There’s a whole host of people you can go to to get information that’ll help you, and beekeepers are very excited to swap knowledge and give advice freely.”

The growing club of around 120 members is a little over 3 years old. DCBA President Candi Pardue says the goal is to support Denton County beekeepers while educating residents about our county’s pollinators.

Awareness is important because pollinators such as honeybees are responsible for one out of every three bites of food humans eat, according to Bee City USA, which designated Denton as the state’s second Bee City USA (after Beeville, obviously) in 2016. The certification indicates Denton’s commitment to helping these important pollinators survive.

Beekeeping 101

One way to help is to consider becoming an urban (or suburban) beekeeper yourself. Start by checking your local ordinances, which vary from city to city. Denton’s, for example, stipulates that you may have up to four hives on an acre of land, while Flower Mound says you can have no more than three on less than an acre. If you live in a neighborhood with a homeowners association, check there as well, and of course, take neighbors into consideration. Bees sting as a last resort (each bee can sting only once because the act of stinging kills them), but a neighbor with a life-threatening allergy to bee venom won’t care much about that fun fact.

You need not have a lavish garden or orchard. Your bees will forage within a 2- to 3-mile radius of their hive and can zip around at speeds of up to 15 miles per hour. “They can go up to 5 miles,” says Candi. “I try to tell people not to have tunnel vision.”

Take an Intro to Beekeeping workshop hosted by the DCBA, join a club to network with other beekeepers and consider private lessons. “A lot of people prefer to take lessons,” says Candi, who has been teaching beginner beekeeping for five years. “It’s not a requirement, but I tell people that it’s always wise to invest in your education first because you don’t want to spend the money and time and then fail miserably.”

So how much money and time will you be investing in your new endeavor? Candi says the financial component can vary a lot depending on your choices. Bees cost between $175 and $300, but if you wait too late in the year, you could pay as much as $500.

“Most people wait until about May,” says Candi. “The sun is shining, we have beautiful weather and the flowers are blooming, then they want to become a beekeeper. At that point, it’s almost too late. The earlier in the year you can start planning, the better.”

You’ll also need protective equipment. For that, you can spend as little as $30 for a simple hat, veil and gloves or get a top-of-the-line suit for $300. The same flexibility goes for your wooden hives.

“Do you want to go on the cheap? Or is this something that is going to sit right near your home that you want to look really nice?” asks Candi. “You could spend $350 or you could cut some corners and probably get that down to around $200.”

As for the investment in time, “I tell my first-year students to get in the hive two or three times a week [from May to August or September],” says Candi. “There are beekeepers that have more of a hands-off approach. They believe you just let the bees be bees and maybe check them once a month. That first year, it’s a good idea to be very hands-on. That’s your learning, your education. The more you learn and the better you’re able to anticipate what your bees need, the less time it takes. Around your second or third year, you kind of hit your stride and have a good visual on what they’re doing and what they need from you.”

God save the queen (and her girls)

When you do inspect your hives, Candi says you’re looking to make sure that the queen is healthy and laying enough eggs (as many as 2,500 a day during certain times of year); that the bees have enough but not too much room; and that they are bringing in enough pollen and nectar.

“We do have times of the year in North Texas where there’s a dearth,” she says. “That means there’s no food available for your hive. During that time, we can supplement feed with sugar, syrup, pollen substitute and things like that. You just want to make sure they’re fed. Honeybees are the only livestock that you really want to be fat because a fat bee is a happy bee, and we want happy bees.”

Those are some things you’ll be checking for during inspections, but you will likely run into a lot of other fascinating behaviors as well. Let’s start by meeting the three types of bees you’ll find inside your hive: the queen bee, worker bees and drones.

There is only queen, and she’s key to the colony’s success. They’ll know quickly if she’s gone. An experienced eye can find her; she is longer and leaner than the other bees and has a more pointed abdomen. She takes one mating flight when she’s young, mating in midair with up to 15 males, then in many cases, never leaves the hive again. She can live up to five years but may be replaced by her colony sooner if she’s inefficient at laying eggs.

Drones (boy bees) are created when the queen chooses to lay an unfertilized egg. They make up a very small percentage of the colony because their entire job is to hang out in the sky in drone congregation areas — the bee equivalent of a singles bar — waiting to mate. Because they don’t contribute to the hive (they can’t even fend off invaders because they lack a stinger), they are usually kicked out as winter approaches and food becomes scarce.

The vast majority of a colony is made up of worker bees — daughters of the queen — who hold several jobs during their short lives. They are janitors (cleaning out cells for eggs), nurses (feeding baby bees), construction workers (building honeycomb cells from wax and repairing damaged cells) and guards (keeping the hive safe). They may also regulate the temperature of the hive, bring in water, pack up pollen, seal off finished honey, remove the dead or even tend to the queen. Busy bees indeed!

The last stage of their lives is, of course, foraging. These girls need to gather nectar from about 2 million flowers and fly about 90,000 miles to make a single pound of honey, so there’s no time for wasted flights. That’s why they have an ingenious method of communicating when they’ve found a sweet stash of flowers. It’s called the waggle dance. (Yes, really.) When a forager finds something exciting, she returns with the news and a sample. She shimmies in a figure-eight then does an elaborate dance to communicate where the others can find the treasure.

“Beekeeping is the most fascinating thing,” says Candi. “And you will never in your life taste honey as good as your first honey harvest. True local honey is amazing and hands-down, 100% better than what you’ll buy in a store.”

Threat watch

In addition to the intriguing behaviors of these social little creatures and the pounds of golden honey you’ll get to share with friends, there may be another reason to become a backyard beekeeper: “It wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility that our bees are actually saved by our small-scale beekeepers because the commercial guys are losing so many,” says Candi. “It’s not a fault of theirs. I love and respect them. They have a really hard job and are doing the best they can, but we need that older style of farming too.”

The oft-talked-about colony collapse disorder is, Candi says, not one single condition but rather the result of a number of factors in our agricultural system. Large commercial pollinators truck hundreds or even thousands of hives around the country to pollinate almonds, berries, canola and other crops. Those bees eat only one thing and are stressed by travel.

“It would be like you and me working 80 hours a week and only eating cheeseburgers,” she says. “At some point, we’re going to be unhealthy, and that’s kind of what those bees face. Bees are not meant to be put on an 18-wheeler and locked in for three days while they travel across the country.”

In addition to stress and poor nutrition, the EPA notes that other risk factors for honeybees include the invasive varroa mite, new and emerging diseases, pesticide poisoning and habitat changes.

We can help with many of these factors as community beekeepers. “Our hives aren’t moving around. They have a very diverse diet with trees and wildflowers. We’re able to supplement and feed them when we need to. They have kind of a cushy job.” And creating more healthy bees with cushy jobs is never a bad thing.

Good stewards

Whether you have an interest in beekeeping or just want to help keep these important pollinators safe, you can help by planting bee-friendly plants, supporting legislation that helps bees and using caution when using chemicals in your yard.

“Bees are amazing, and they’re fun,” says Candi. “The more beekeepers and non-beekeeping residents in the county can work together and benefit each other when it comes to herbicide and pesticide use and hive management, the better. We’re stewards for this tiny bee, so let’s put our best foot forward and do the best we can for everybody, so everyone is happy, and bees aren’t ever a nuisance in Denton County.”

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[ramblingsandruminations]

When Suicidal Ideation is the norm

All the help in the world becomes a muddy puddle of shitty affirmations, thorned gaslighting, and useless guilt. If one more person tells me "have you tried yoga/deepbreaths/vitamin B..." Ugh. Who am i kidding? This is tumblr, where you can always find somone who says exactly what you are thinking ( #omgmetho #datme #meirl ). Weve all heard the "stop giving advice and atart taking it " speech, we're all likely to have read some post about the "evils" and " abuses" of therapy and inpatient treatment, and I'll bet a paper hat, some vending machine doodad, or some shitty-yet-adorably-hipsterly prize that within 100 reblogs someone links to some news article about "Queer Youth Completes Suicide And We Think You Will Pay Us to Feel Bad About It, Don't Forget To Like, Share, and Subscribe to Trevor Project, Your Reblog Will Save A Life (And Keep Us Relevant For Our Advertisers)." Tomorrow(well, next daylight hours) my 26-year-old depressed college freshman self is going to walk into my schools coubseling office and tell them i never recieved the location for the therapist they reffered me to (true story--Honestly not avoiding treatmwnt, even if it is useless) and request a second referral. Ill sit through some lecture about self-advocacy veiled in "concerned questions" and once again be misgendered, deadnamed, and criticized for giving a fuck (note: commenters looking to describe me with the word "cuck," i see you there, good for you, let me know how that white kkknight holier than thou red pill rage fest dopamine addiction is filling the gaping void of existential dread within you). After that, there is always a small chance they'll see just how depressed i am, and faster than you can say "looney is a word based in misogynistic beliefs of womens mental health and menstrual cycles being unhealthily and unscientifically connected to the moon," ill be fielding questions which boil down to "do you want to kill yourself" and "do you have a plan." By this time in my life, i've gotten pretty used to BSing my way around psychology. All it really takes is knowing that all they can take you on is your word, and nothing else. "Do you want to kill yourself?" they ask, and i reply "*short pause, heavy, short exhale denoting weight and truth* Well, yeah. But quite frankly, suicidal ideation is a part of my everyday life- nothing i do isn't plagued with some form of "i should wrap this mouse cord aroubd my neck and die" or " i wonder if that branch is strong enough to support my weight" or "man, my head hurts, but i bet a bottle or two of ibuprofen could make it stop." For me, its not a question of wanting to die, its a matter of what do i have to live for, and ive been through enough inpatient DBT and group therapy to help me cope, using breathing techniques and self-care tips to push me through the worst of it." This is usually if not always all they need to hear. Sure, im depressed, but anything they could tell me is something i know and am already doing-i sound to them more like a patient leaving inpatient than one entering it. Our hospitals are overfilled, understaffed, prqctucally unfunded; if im "stable" im staying out of their ledger book. Occasionally, they still worry, having one of those "consciences" their peers claim to have lost when a schizophrenic patient tried to bite their ear off, and ask a follow up "but are you sure? You seem distressed, and if you need some help, we are here for you," to which all i have to do is look at them through sad, but strong eyes and say "Thank you, but i have a great support network of friends and of course, my boyfriend. He's fantastic, and one of the most important things to have happened to me. He keeps me on this side of the dirt." A small tired chuckle, and their focus diverts towards affirmations of how good it is to have support, their therapy brains running on autopilot. Then all it needs is some "active" listening, uh-huhs, and compliant assurance that ill keep working on myself to assuage them of any guilt or corncern. Maybe, though, ill tell them the truth, and let them take me in. Three hots and a cot, after all. I'll fight through my dysphoria as they ogle every nook and cranny of my malformed body trying to see if im hiding a weapon or some drugs; I'll continue to insist on a private room and remind them calmly yet firmly that no, i will *not* room with a male, and their lack of knowledge on how to treat a transgender non-binary patient is well behind on proper treatment according to WPATH, the APA, and our state govt. When i get a room, theyll say that i should take as much time as i need to get acclimated, and not worry about what the rwat of group is qorking on, and then contradict themselves within 5 minutes and say i need to go to group, theyre waiting on me. In my fresh new scrubs, ill walk in and within seconds, ill identify how th staff monitors who came in when (usually different colored scrubs based on different halves of the week, and of course, anyone likely to leave within 48 hours wearing "normal" clothes), and see the therapist or doctor talking about emotional management techniques. When i sit down, eeyes will be on me, some with looks of angey jusgemwnt, some with awe and wonder: what could THEY be in for? The group leader will ask me my name, ill state it and my pronouns (to several uncomfortable shifts in the room), and theyll let me know what they were talking about. Ill make a good effort to participate, play along, etc. Someone in the group will be desperate to control the conversation, talking more and more as if this entire experience is just for them- another person will be too dissociated to say anyrhing, despite the doctors attebpts to get them to open up. Already, the cliques will become apparent; humans are aocial creatures, after all. When we leave for the next scheduled activity (either rec or lunch, depending on the time) the docs will be watching me- im on suicide watch, and they expe t me to jump out a window or try and slit my wrists with a paperclip or something. Im not a danger in this regard; ive been threatened with solitary and ECT if i dont comply before- i am their prisoner and i must comply. Within an hour or two of being there, ill be able to notice how well funded they are (or more likely, arent.) The quality of their reading materials; the availability of puzzles abd how well taken care of they appear. Recreation will be the most bare of kindergarden activities; coloring books, maybe a tv with basic cable. A daycare for adults, abd not the cool buzzfeed articles. Someone, probably an addict, will be trying to fanangle their attendee into giving them special treatement- a snack, or an extra smoke break. I'll be sitting in a corner, smirking- the staff arent even an eigth as dumb as this person thinks, and they've seen this type before. They might get something, but itll cost them sour looks from staff and less accommodating treatment with the doctors. After the second hour, we'll have another activity (second group, rec, or maybe "outside time" if its a particularly fancy facility; while the sun will certainly be shining, our feelings of freedom will be dampened by the high fances and walls keeping us from getting away). This is usually wheb the realization sets in that im stuck here for 72 hours plus, and ill be counting them down to stave off boredom. 15-30 minutes in to this third hour, ill be called in to meet tye psychiatrist, fisrt meeting with an attendee to fill out the generic details, then 30-45 minutes of diagnosis before im told ill be put on ab antidepressant, an anxiolytic, and tramodol, a sedative marketed as "something to help me sleep" and "another antidepressant" which makes me laugh every time. Tramodol is the auppressant, the "slow down" drug which helps keep everyobe on a nice, calm level thats safer for the orderlies. Were i violent, id concur; instead, i begin to wonder how long it will take before i no longer feel persistently asleep once i leave. A couple weeks, likely. Hopefully, the food will be good, but not likely 5 star- one place ive stayed had been cooking for us in the break room, sometimes PB&J, sometimes microwaved quesadillas. Maybe theyll have more drink options than coffee, water, and sugar-free koolaid- maybe not. Likely not. Some of us will complain; most of us will know it is a fruitless endeavor. After another group or two, it will be dinner, then wrap up group. We will discuss what progress we think we made today, and be sent to bed after meds are distributed in little paper ketchup cups. Most places wont do the "cuckoos nest" tongue check, but some will, particularly the ones with kleptos and pill ODers. Lights oyt will be around 10 pm, the beds will be plasticky and the blankets thin, and sleep will only cone rhanks to our sedatives. Day two, we'll be woken early, around 6-7, by an orderly checking our blood pressure and body temp. Well all gather in the hallway, rubbing sleep out of our eyes and head to the eating area for breakfast- which loooking back will likely be the best meal of the day, not the least be ause we have access to augar and caffiene. By now, i will likely have made a friend, probably with an older woman or two, and we will enjoy surreptitiously smirking at each other when the teoublemaker patwnt tries to get an omlette or something silly. Someone will start telling fanciful stories dreamed up in the night; talk will eventually turn to who is leaving today. The orderlies will be trying to not look too interested in what we reveal to each other instead of them. They will not succeed in this. Ths first morning they will use as a test of how i deal with frustration. An older nurse will act exasperated, as though taking care of me is a curse she was tasked with. She will try to cut theough any response i give her, and rudely discount anything i try to say, as if accuaing me of lying. Knowing it is coming doesnt help it hurt less. If it overwhelms me, ill be labeled as dramatic- if not, as detached. Sluggish from the new medications, i will be treated as though i ahould not be here, and will be led aroubd more quickly than i am rady to be. I will notice that part of it is that i am beginning to realize how broken down i feel i am. Reaching out will result in canned answers and "the doctor is busy's". After all, this iant about me, and theyve seen my type before. At lunch, i will be upset by the bland meal, abd ask if they have any hot sauce, or maybethey will be out of a preferred tea, or the food will not be enough to feed me. The newcomer who arrived at morning group will share a look with the quiet patient. I will try not to notice the parallels. A therapist will ask to talk to me today. It may be a nice session, but will essebtially boil down to "let me give you ideas for solving your problems, so that your depression seems more managed." By the end of the day, they will already begin my release plan. Theyve fixed me, they are sure. I will also get my clothes back. The aurvey will be slightly different today; instead of asking on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being best abd 10 being worst how was my day, it will be the opposite: scale of 1-10 with 1 being worst and 10 being best. This way, they can track how much is me being honest, and how much is me remembering numbers to fake it. (Once, a nurse messed up so often that it was a sentence by sentence change). Later, if there is any improvement, it will be used by the hospital as signs that treatment is helping; if it gets worse, that i had a rough day and shouldnt think much of it. Bedtime will come, and i will relish it- being sedated takes a lot out of a person. When morning comes, the eggs will feel soggy and cereal with be a much better choice. A bagel will be carried into morning group and more DBT will be discussed. I will mostly be checked out; they are pulling most of their material from a 12 step program, and the leader is a student of psychology learning how to help people, but ive heard it all before, and that sense of guilt just pushes me towards suicide harder. At this point, ill feel just how desperate they are to get me out; nurses eill hint at things being the "wrong" answer with " you dont REALLY mean that, do you sweetie?" and " well, you cant keep thinking THAT way, or we'll have to keep you here longer." Boredom and longing for home will encourage me to pretend to be better, and not tell them how last night before falling asleep i stared at the vedfrane wondering if i could take it apart and form a springwire noose, or tear the blankets to make a rope. When they ask if im feeling better, it will actually mean "are you done with your timeout from reality? Have you learned how to fit in properly yet?" The meds wont really begin having a noticable effect for months- they know im lying. What they hope for is a glimmer of hope and a mountain of guilt for wanting to hurt others by hurting myself. Ill fake those, too. Still, ill be misgendered. Still, theyll blame hormones and buzzfeed rather than neurology and chemistry. After all, im well-adjusted, not at all like the Caitlyn Jenners and Wachowskis they read about on their facebooks. Its just a phase, and im just confused. I didnt try to hurt myself- nothing is *really* wrong with me. What can i do? Try and strangle myaelf, or others? That just means im lashing out, and ill get a new med regime and another 3 days, this time strapped down. Being strapped to a bed and left alone is mind-numbingly boring. If i tell them i still want to kill myaelf, theyll just nod their head and tell me it will go away soon; if i say i have a plan, rheyll keep me playing chess and reading AA papers until i apologize. Their job is not to fix me, their job is to stabilize me and make sure i dont break myself more. The fixing is my responsibility. Day four is release day. They will claim i have made improvements and have me fill out an action plan for when i feel depressed again. It will include people i can call, and ways i can push through bad feelings. It is my exit exam.when i pass, ill be set up with a therapist outside the hospital later in the week, and told how to connect with various resources. They will think i didnt know there were trans support groups. I will think that if it was just a support group i needed, i wouldnt dream of death. Neither of us will admit these things. And so, ill come back to school. Late on homework, i will have to prostrate myaelf with dictors note beggibg for forgiveness. I will get it, more due to policy than empathy, and at the end of the day, i will lay in bed, stare up at the ceiling, and contemplate which of my top three anchor spots would be the best ending to my story. Other than medical bills, nothing will have changed. Life drones on. I think i understand why death seems,so much better. In death, i can pretend there is a solution. In death, i can imagine a cure. In death, i can envision a caretaker and easier existence. It doesnt matter that death is the end of it all- i can pretend it willl be more, and my imagination can create many comforts in that void. But even death is a lie, and nothing will ever stop hurting.

[misterbitches]

Im not intelligent at all. In the conventional sense. The ramblings of a girl who just has sooo much going in in her head it's constant. But im not a genius. Or that confusing.

It just sounds like I am bc fandoms have this issue where they can JUSTSO point out the issues in soletiing. They can pick and prod and go oh problematic! But then you go to name the problems and the difficulties within society like for ex: the idea of representation in general. Salivating over it. How fucking sad that is. How we are trained to accept it. So in a BL and also RACE in the bl genre they exploit viewers naivete both domestically and internationally. Ive seen tons of people liken being asian to being a person of color. However, in their predominantly homogenous society (or intentionally publically homogenous society), they are not "poc" (also name the of color; i dont use bipoc idc if u do but it's called being asian guys cos yall aint talkin about black ppl lmao)

They as humans seeing other humans who look like them everywhere, engage with the world differently than an american in asia or asians living outside of their home country (like bae doo nanwhen she worksnin the US is not the same as the bae doo nanworking on a korean program) I dont complain about it in everything i see bc ppl say it ALL THE TIME. but it is NOT the same. Being a person of color is very distinctly an american concept. This is all stuff people will get to know on their own if they choose to dig more.

I do my best to underline what my ugly little eyes process. How i figure things out as a black female american artist too! Im hard on shit cos i should be. I take it seriously. And even if i dont take it seriously bc THEY dont then thats their problem.

I know this is a complaint that I am not alone in. I know it's the internet. I just don't get how people can write really heavy analysis but they refuse to actually probe the underlying issues. Not everyone is me, or like my friends, but if there's way fewer people talking about this stuff it seems absolutely glaring when theres few people engaging in the way i do. It seems like im the glitch but I am thinking just as much just differently.

I really loved where your eyes linger but there was little deep class analysis. I remember few convos a bout it. I know a lot about korea (sigh being a black ex kpop fan lol mess) and i love the history but all ofnit matters! Korea's relation to labor!

People bringing up thai actors snd actresses leaving the industry and doing acting as something quick. As an artist~ who went to film school with insanely wealthy ppl and isnin tons of debt you have to understand how shitty that is. People have monetary access and they just fucking do whatever just because they want to. Meanwhile you have young people being coerced into this bullshit mainstream life to LITERALY just make money bc they dont come from a rich background. The wealth gap in thailand is BAD, theres a dictatorship, they had a fucking coup. The governments like here do not respect their people. Their marginalized groups. Trans thai women, black thai ppl, poor thai ppl. And it LITERALLY CANNOT DO ANYTHING EFFECTIVELY IN CAPITALISM. No nothing can be perfect but if it's going into our eyeballs and we can view the worlld critically then why the fuck not!???

I dont say the things i see are wrong always. I reply when i think i need to. I try and engage with others but not to kuch avail. I just want to rb stuff and tdhink lajfhhdjwhjej.

But like yea theres a lot of just wrong or misguided stuff. A lot of the times it is just historical inaccuracy in framing or idk. A refusal to think outside the box. I dont care. Theres more to life than just sort of looking and not thinking especially for othrr artists.

Idk im sorry. I dont see how i can change how i view things. I really wish people would expand their palettes too and go deeper into other means of art from places! Things not in the mainstream! Theres a lot of good thai artists and a lot of them critical as fuck about their country as they should be. Authority, austerity, patriarchy, capital, racism etc like that is central to a power thats interested in growing gains and fiscal and social power. Theres rly radical or left leaning etc ppl out there in the world and these countries in these communities. So they exist. No people in these countries dont have NO clue whats going on. Cultural relativism is alsos something people should understand. I had a good talk with ppl on here a while ago about that. Talking about shit, critiquing, but being respectful to a group. Part of thay is realizing these groups CLEARLY know their own issues and all our cultures share the same goal. Guess what it is. It rhymes with acquiring wealth. Money means you hurt people. In the post, we talked about use of "wife" and "husband" which is a stupid joke that has been "explained" a billion times and yet the explanations still dont seem to answer or justify a minor problem (it's very funny to me that a language that doesnt have gendered pronouns is now very specific about two men. Hmmm wonder why. It is annoying.)

So im not the only person on the planet doing this. Or the few ppl ive seen that do. Im not new my thoughts arent new. Ive gotten to see another side to a culture i knew not much about and that means i can put the context of my beliefs and life and try and understand thheirs. For ex i learned from ITSAY because of a sign that said 'french food' that they were the only country to not be colonized back then. Do you know how integral that history is to their region? That was an interesting detail (i didnt finish itsay bc ihad a lot going on and i was rly upset that i would see hownrich they are and i hate that.)

Anyways thats my complaint. It used to feel like a sting of rejection. I left online for months in 2019, i started organizing more, joined a union, trying to do some panther work shit like that. I learned a lot in those months and it changed my life! But when I came back, I felt so isolated. It wasnt my true friends tho sometimes theyre ANNOYINGGGGG (love u) but it was me being like "if we are going to complain guys then lets put our money where our mouth is" lets be fucking serious about it then. No say it with your chest dude. It isnt difficult. Go with the fucking flow, talk about it, critique it, think. You can still fucking like itnor love it.

I am BLACK ok and i love rap. I am a black woman. I will continue to clown black men that cant seem to not clown themselves and listen. No i wont support monetarily: drake is a creep and i hate him but i bump that niggas song. Thats fucking LIFE. I got so sick of hiding myself and it became clear that it wasnt that i wasntthinking well or hard enough. They just didnt like that i said we need to commit class suicide and inspect out middle class sensibilities and middle class wealth hoarding (google it) if thats what we engaged with. Every part of you, antagonize it. I still have my privileges; class, skin color, even my father being a nigerian immigrant, me being cis, im not str8 but not a lesbian and those are differences.

Insecurities in general but some shallow thoughts (?) on discussion in "fandom" space. FYI, this will most likely stay the same. I tend to stay in my own bubble socially IE me and my friends are similar in our views. During this awful year while running my union's account, im surrounded by like minds. Me and my friends? We changed together. We grew up and saw what we didnt like and what we want. We do our best.And i CHOOSE my life to be that way bc it should be. There is no solution. I dont believe in solutions because the solution is to abolish capital or just divest. Abolishing capital and labor are a huge one and i will die before that happens (but so help me as long as im alive? Black women to FREEDOMMMM is my motto!) so making your own path in life is the best thing an artist can do IN MY OPINION.

However with technology and stuff this puts another layer onto things. Tech, social media, this shit....it THRIIIIIIIVESSSSSSS off of conflict and shallow readings of the world. We are literally primed for it. Engagement in bites. Impossible for me with my brain; i got used to it and i paid for it by limiting my scope. Not being encouraged to THINK AND READ before just speaking

(For ex i am in iww, i helped form a branch here. It is a radical union. Unionism is imprative to me-if ur interested u should read up on some. Look up peter cole! Google inthesetimes Ilwu. Gives you some understanding. Ive always been progressive and now i am....very left idk ic ant label myself. But even in my progrssiveness i had the gall to tell my white friend, whoa has her privileges but i had mine with our class disparity, that we dont need unions, i have WORKED retail. Ive done barista work for sonoing and i do gig work. So i wasnt out of touch. I had been stiffed even with a shoot i was working on by rich kids. So i had a frame of reference . But i didnt know what the FUCKa union was and why it is imperative. Then learning about anarcho syndicalism and all these other things. It changed my fucking life but two years earlier i was this idiot spouting shit like that making one of my best friends fucking upset. We DO AND CAN CHANGE. Think!!!!)

So were i a creator for tv id just constantly try and push the buttons if i need big money. Make them sell into me (thank you sonic youth!) theres Endless possibilities guys which means theres SO MUCH TK EXPLORE!!!! When i wanna have fun with it i just have fun. When i want to think i do. I dont understand why we are so dedicated to upholding things and doing mental gymnastics to end up in a space you dont need mental gymnastics for. What about these critiques makes you uncomfortable? Saying we're all part of the problem as spectators? Im sorry but we will always be. Thats LIFE. God fuck. Fuck me. I feel so fucking worthless and stupid sometimes. I know I am not. I know i am talented and intelligent. I know my friends and family. I know how to approach ppl. I know how to tell people if they are rich but want to be progressive whatsup. I choose how i live part of that is being ok to say what i want.

Ironically consrrvatives say this shit alot. But they arent ever alone bc their ideology is default. But yea it does feel shitty. It even feels shitty when ur in left circles but people STILL dont even wanna do that. These perspectives really arent ss many as they should be. I dont want to feel so alone with it. I know there are more. I just love art and the world so fucking much, endless possibility. Endless pain but endless good.

[sarahburness]

30 Easy Ways to Save Money You Probably Aren’t Doing Yet

Let’s keep this one simple and clean – just a bunch of relatively easy ways to save money. As you incorporate more and more of these tips into your life, the savings add up and it wouldn’t surprise me if you could save thousands over the course of a year.

It will take a little work on your part but those thousands of dollars in savings are what helped us get out of debt earlier and kept us out of debt for several years . Hopefully, it’ll help us pay off our recent auto loan soon as well.

Cook at home often

If both the husband and wife work, this is likely to be very difficult. Start out with the habit of cooking at home once a week and slowly increase the frequency until you find a balance between saving money and getting stressed out.

Make your own coffee

Everyone seems to have heard of the latte factor. Even though the author may have overestimated the savings from skipping a latte at Starbucks, don’t underestimate the ding it puts in your pocket in the long run. You don’t have to entirely ban drinking coffee, but skip it as often as possible- unless you make it at home.

Brown bag lunch at least a few days a week

Lunch times are great opportunities to network and make connections that could improve your career growth. So, unless there is a common eating area for brown baggers, you may choose to limit brown bagging lunch to three days each week.

Find a balance between saving some money and making the connection. In my case, I take my lunch with me 2 to 3 times a week and eat out the rest of the time.

Make a list before going shopping

They call it impulse buying for a reason.

Humans simply have a very tough time resisting the temptation to purchase extras while shopping. Without a list, you will likely buy items that you simply do not need. Even worse is when your forget to purchase the actual item you came to the store for in the first place.

If you plan on cooking at home, pre-plan a rough menu and make a list before you go grocery shopping. Getting all that you need in one trip can help avoid another unnecessary trip and temptation.

Go grocery shopping while you are in a hurry

Maybe you need to go out in a couple of hours or your favorite show is going to be on TV after a couple of hours. Try to squeeze in the grocery trip in that intermediate time.

Armed with your grocery list, you should be in-and-out very quickly with little time for meandering and getting tempted to buy things you don’t need.

Watch out for expiration dates on perishable goods

This one seems intuitive when you read it, but I am surprised at how many people do not pay attention to expiry dates. No point getting a gallon of milk if it is going to turn sour with a couple of days. Same goes for meat, eggs, yogurt, spreads, frozen items, and deli/bakery items.

Some people say you can use a few items a few days after expiry but I personally value my health more than money. I would rather avoid buying such items in the first place. 

Buy in bulk whenever possible

When it comes to non-perishable items, buy in bulk whenever you find something on sale. The items I usually stock up on are, cereals, tinned goods, rice, beans, pasta, coke, toothpaste, body wash, shampoo, toilet paper, etc.

For such items, shopping at warehouse stores like Costco and Sam’s Club can save you quite a bit of money- that is if you stick strictly to your shopping list when you shop.

Buy generic products whenever possible

Does it really matter whether your cereal is made by Kellogg’s or is the store brand? Does it matter if your milk is Oak Farms or the store brand?

For a few things (like soda in particular), I prefer brand name products. For others, I do not mind generic store brands if they can save me money. Find what works for you and switch to generic brands for at least a part of your grocery list. 

Use grocery store bags to line trash cans

This may not work if you use a massive trash can but we use a small sized one for which the grocery bags are a perfect fit. This not only helps us save some money, but reduces our environmental foot print. It avoids the kitchen from stinking from a huge overflowing trash can, too.

Consolidate and pay off debt as soon as possible

If you carry any debt, focus on consolidating it to a lower interest and paying it off as soon as possible. Money paid in interest is money thrown away! Why spend your hard-earned cash to make the financial institutions rich?

See Also: Staying Out Of Debt: 3 Money Habits You Should Be Doing

Pay your bills on time and avoid late fees

Get organized about your regular bills. If possible, automate the payments. Most utilities and other recurring bills can be set to be charged to a credit card or deducted from a checking account these days.

Also, many banks offer free bill pay programs. There really is no excuse for forgetting to pay a bill on time and forking out the late fees.

Say, by chance you do forget a bill, if you are a first time offender, call the company and request politely to waive the late fees. More likely than not, they will oblige.

Be aware of your bank balance and avoid over draft fees

If you use your checking account often or have some bills that are paid automatically from your checking account, be aware of the balance and avoid overdraft fees. 

Avoid ATM fees

Be aware of the ATM withdrawal fees charged by your bank. While some banks waive fees for all ATM transactions on any ATM machine, most don’t.

So, be sure to use only those ATM machines where your bank will not charge the fees or withdraw directly at your bank. 

Avoid credit cards with annual fee

Credit cards with their cash back bonuses and reward points are a great way to save some money. Just make sure that the card does not charge you any annual fees. There is no dearth of cards that offer fee-free reward plans, so there really is no reason to pay the annual fees. 

Disconnect land line if possible

Unless you have small kids in the house or older people to take care of, it is more than likely that you will be able to survive with only your mobile phones.

We have survived without any problems for over 4 years now without a land line. Our Internet comes via cable. 

Instead of buying books, borrow books from the library

Whenever possible, borrow your books instead of buying them. The card to your public library is free and the libraries are generally well stocked.

In my city, the chain of public libraries is connected and the available books can be checked online. If there is some book that I cannot find in my local branch, I can make a request online for it to be brought in from one of the other branches to mine which is very convenient. 

If you have to buy books, check if you can buy it used

Used books do not quite give the same feeling as leafing through the crisp pages of a brand new book. However, considering that you can get used books for almost as much as half the price of a new book, it is a small price to pay.

My favorite place to buy used books is a local chain called “Half Price Book Store”. Check if you have something similar in your city. For text books, look online on bulletin boards, and mailing lists and price compare on websites like addall.com. 

Price check before buying anything expensive

For other items that are expensive, do a price check before buying the item. If you can wait for a while, you can track the prices and grab a great deal when it comes along.

Frequently available online coupons make it even more easy to save some money. This is especially true while purchasing any electronics. 

Avoid impulse buying

Make it a habit to avoid impulse buying. Many of the things you want to buy do not seem all that necessary, if you only you wait for a day or two. Also, waiting means you will be able to check prices and make an informed decision to buy it at the best possible price. 

Bottle your own water

Drinking water is good for your health. I always make it a habit to keep some at my desk at all times. Bottled water is the most convenient since it can provide protection against accidental spills. That said, buy bottled water only once in a while and then reuse that bottle to fill your own water. If you are not happy with tap water, invest in a Brita Filter – in the long run it can save a lot of money. 

Avoid the vending machines

Almost everything that is dispensed via vending machines has a huge markup (and is rarely healthy). However, if you suffer from snack attacks at work, consider creating a secret stash of snacks.

If you like drinking soda and have a fridge at the workplace, save a refrigerator pack in the fridge with a post-it with your name on it. If you have a long commute, consider a stash for the car as well and avoid a quick drive-thru visit. 

Keep your car as long as possible

When possible, try to keep your car as long as possible. Find the balance between the money spent on repairs versus the monthly installment on another vehicle. Choose to run your old car as long as the repair costs are low. 

Do regular scheduled maintenance on your vehicles

Do not skimp on or forget to do regular oil changes. Remember to check the air in your tires often. Use the grade of fuel that the owner’s manual recommends. These small acts can significantly lengthen the life of your car, giving you years of use. 

Avoid buying a new car

When you eventually buy a car, see if you can make do with a pre-owned vehicle. A new car depreciates significantly the moment you drive it out the dealership.

Is the new car small really worth thousands of dollars?

Pre-owned cars that are only a few years old with low mileage are the best bargains. Regardless of the purchase, learn to negotiate with car dealers. 

Ride your bike or carpool whenever possible

In many of the cities in the US, it is hard to get by without a car. That said, just because you have a car does not mean you have to use it every day. Whenever possible, ride your bike or share a ride with a colleague or spouse and save both on gas and reduce the environmental footprint. 

If you watch a lot of DVDs, get an online DVD store membership

Membership to online movie stores like Netflix or Blockbuster Online can save you a lot of money compared to buying DVDs or renting it from a local store. You need to wait once you order the movie, but if you watch a lot of movies at home, then you can easily get into the habit of ordering ahead of time so you always have something at home.

If you are patient and your library has the resources, check to see if they have a movie section. You won’t get anything very new, but they are free. 

If you like watching movies at the theater, go before 6:00 pm

This is one of our soft spots when it comes to spending. We really like watching movies in the theater with the big screen and the great sound effects. But instead of paying $10 a pop for the ticket, we usually go before 6:00 pm when the tickets are a little less expensive.

Also, for movies that we don’t absolutely want to watch right away, we just wait until it screens on the discount theater where the tickets are $2 a pop. We avoid the temptation to buy snacks by usually going for a theater some time soon after our lunch. Sometimes, we sneak in our own snacks.

Regulate your electric use

When not in use, unplug electric appliances. Apparently, unplugging the TV instead of just switching it off can save a lot of electricity!

When not in a room, switch off the lights and the fan. Use a programmable thermostat to control your A/C and heater usage. If that’s too much, at least know what each appliance uses and unplug a few of them. 

Plan vacations ahead of time

Vacations are a necessary part of saving our sanity in the busy lives that we lead. But vacations are also a huge drain on the family finances.

You can cut the cost of a vacation significantly by planning and booking ahead of time. Bookmark travel sites for finding inexpensive airfare and hotel. Book at least two weeks in advance. 

See Also: How to Make The Most of Your Vacation

Finally, keep distance from lavish, high-roller friends

If you have lavish friends who buy a new car every other year (or worse still, lease it), have large screen TVs and every other conceivable electronics gadget, eat out at fancy restaurants every other night and just live way beyond their means, keep the distance.

They may be nice people and mean you no harm, but hanging out with such people can often lead to a lot of unnecessary desires and discontent. What’s more important – your friends or your peace of mind?

Whoa, that article ended up being a lot longer than I anticipated. Hopefully, I haven’t put you to sleep! Despite the length though, it barely scratches the surface when it comes to ways to save money. Make it a sub-conscious habit to save money in things that you do every day, even if it is a few dollars. All that money saved can add up significantly and you can save it or spend it on things that really matter!

NOTE: I am not saying that you should follow *all* these tips. Trying to be too frugal can make both you and the people around you very miserable. So, pick out a few tips at a time that will work for you and make them a habit, before deciding if you can incorporate more money saving habits in your daily routine. Written by Sam Baker of GradMoneyMatters.com – a site dedicated to providing students a choice of money making ideas so they can say no to debt.

The post 30 Easy Ways to Save Money You Probably Aren’t Doing Yet appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

from Dumb Little Man https://www.dumblittleman.com/30-easy-ways-to-save-money-and-no-you/

[a-memoir-of-me-blog]

imma not even proof read this....but this is a convo again, before i even met my true love

Texts to x:

idk what i was talking about....i think US and education and free education

*sent a pic from usnews.com*

“Wiener Professor of Social Policy at Harvard Kennedy School, believes that the last 30 years of rising American inequality can be attributed to three key factors:

The US government does ‘considerably less’ than comparable democracies to even out disposable family incomes, Jencks says. And current state and local tax policies ‘actually increase income inequality’ (in america, yeah, because people in low income areas dont use this to their advantage--future writings will make this make more sense. This is from december 2016 or january 2017...dont remember).

‘All the costs and risks of capitalism seem to be shifted largely to those who work rather than those who invest’, he said

Compounding the economic imbalance is the unlikely prospect that those at the bottom can ever improve their lot.”

Me: shouldnt that mean that not only should we work. But invest [in things that can help us develop--ex: infrastructure companies, and all things that benefit to the public--instead of the government being a monopoly, we (markets, the people) will put in our money to companies we like that we believe will be the best for us, and just let us give money to all these companies, that will work together since theyre all gonna do the same thing and we all just want the same thing, and they can just collaborate and make the best that they can. And then we didnt have to pay taxes and not know where it is going. In a sense, investing in companies is like paying taxes, but more transparent and more control of where your money goes--which is to support a company to do x,y,z to help benefit your community and/or country]? But like….thats not taught in school because they want to keep the power limited to only a few and not the masses (the markets, the people who all gather and pool their money in all of these companies that will then go to work together and make the best thing they can make) lol. Oh america…

*pic from same thing*

“Hendren, along with Harvard economists Katz and Raj Chetty, now at Stanford Uni, looked at the lasting effects of moving children to better neighborhoods as part of Moving to Opportunity, a short-lived federal housing program from the ‘90s. Their analysis, published in May, found that the longer children are exposed to better environments, the better they do economically in the future. Whichever city or state children grow up in also radically affects whether they will move out of poverty, he said”

Me:Power of association!! And media flaunts the “low-income” area lifestyle...and they keep the cycle going! Gotta learn the system (the cycle). Exploit it. Give back to education and other welfare shit [but only let them pay if they 1. Waste our help 2. Are greedy 3. Keep fucking up more than enough times that we can afford--which i assume is where an actuary would come in--keep reading because i mention more to this with prison, media, college tuition]. BUT. I think the the biggest thing to give back is knowledge (of surroundings, their influence, give them power to empower them, let them be them and not what media makes them want to be, not what their surroundings want them to be) and the confidence and the belief that we all can come together and learn of ourselves, our difference (and explain to one another why--but it always goes down to that we are human and just want to survive) and to learn to get the power from within us already, and use that and use things we learn and use them for good. Use this and that part of what the world offers and tie them together and make it for the good of all. Knowledge of self, history, psychology, cycles is power. Power over our human. Our flaws and ego and pride.

Me: we think that public things arent ours (when they literally are--we share them--it was our taxes--so that the government can do this and make it available for us--but yeah, it has no explicit value--we paid with taxes--we will think it is not worth it and not good--but thats where people who do value this PUT THEIR OWN VALUE IN IT. then they abuse it and fuck it up for everyone and as a result….we wasted….as a result, we inflate. As a result, we fucked ourselves over. We as people in a democracy rely on one another...so stop stealing. Stop wasting. And with this mindset, then we know we are obligated to have it and it is evenly given to us (because we gave it to ourselves!) and we help not just other people, but you help yourself.

Me: however the only issue i see is that middle class people who are really trying their hardest to survive out here are definitely the ones who deserve more. (Their market is getting smaller, but they are paying more (is it because it will then add more people to middle class? But those below us dont use it to their true full advantage to educate themselves and move up from their surroundings and change their lifestyle around). And thats where middle class working people will then have to cut down on keeping their minds and bodies healthy--they overwork with unhealthy food--that makes them lose money and unhealthy--and that makes them become poorer and poorer. We ALL can do something about this. And i think that for working class middle class people, they shouldnt get health insurance benefits--but rather things to AVOID getting it, because 1) they are still getting unhealthy because they are still in the system and 2) continues for them to keep paying into these things--and instead pay to innovations in food, and making sure the planet is okay, there isnt an imbalance in one thing that can tip something and cause a famine or extreme weather or a drought or have too many certain animals and how that can throw off the whole ECOSYSTEM.) their quality is getting worse and worse because they have to settle for less (government stuff--which we give to) and they are paying more and more (...so instead of doing that....instead of getting food from this and that with harmful things on them...instead of making yourself sick, give yourself life! Ensure yourself and your health and your life...or you can make your own company and run your own self sustaining home and life and have balance--and teach others, and give to them). We cant even buy good things for a good quality life. Housing. Goods. Etc. like. Food is the BEST remedy and preventor. Get healthy food and you keep your health. Its worth spending your money on that, instead of then having to spend it on things mentioned before. Same with education and spreading knowledge and ideas and giving it all back. Because it is a chain reaction. We are all interdependent. Be smart. Be empowered. Give yourself power. Get rid of the money. Dont be afraid to let go of that bc if you dont, you are afraid of your true life. Give live and power to yourself. Get health. Make sure you are healthy. Eat healthy. Live healthy. Feed your brain healthy things. If you have to, live in a shitty area for cheap, but your environment doenst define you. What you put into yourself (that true life) is what defines you. You can define yourself.

Me: and because they get taxed so much, ppl cant afford to go to school because they are just trying to make it alive (and they get stuck in there. And they go to drugs. They go to crime. They go to temporary satisfaction. They get a girl pregnant and they cycle continues and/or gets worse.

Him: yeah but knowledge costs money a majority of the time. Education costs thousands. GOOD education reaches the hundred thousands (my reply rn: UMMMM. Doesnt matter!! That is subjective!!! Life is always the same! But it depends on the PERSON! Do you find value in something because you put your efforts in it? Someone can have a SHITTY life, but they can either learn from it, or let it USE THEM and OVERPOWER them. They are giving their circumstances the power over them, when they can take that circumstance, learn from it, gather knowledge and ideas and MAKE IT BETTER FOR THEMSELVES!)

Him: i agree we should fund our own shit (my reply rn: yeah we should, but then whatever we get...USE THE BEST OF IT, even if it is small, because you are gaining experience and knowledge and you can take it all and add it all up to make it enough for you!)

Me: like people arent making enough. So they cant rely on the government alone. They need to learn the system (aka take what they were given. Use the lessons. Take it all apart. Rebuild it to make it better for yourself...afterall...the system is there because you let them….so make the most of it...spend more money on healthy food...spend more money on books. Spend more money on travel. Spend more on living! Everythingggg is interdependent)

Him: public water fountains, parks, etc...would be so much cooler and cleaner. How would you use the system? If you dont control the system? (ummm….i have control over myself...i dont let the hate, and greed, and all those 7 sins all around me corrupt me). If you wanted to control the system (which i dont at all. I want to liberate people from their fears that they feed into them and then provide a solution to get money off of them and repeat it….we can innovate without having the extremes happen...see one flaw and fix it! Before the whole thing collapses!) you need to be the one giving the government money and that requires hundreds of millions (unless we all stop living in the grid and in the system that they made for us and be more self reliant on life sustaining things and happiness….then we dont need money...at all lol). We could have it all if all our tax dollars didnt go to war (which is the extremes that happen….but we let things keep falling and getting worse…)

Me: so then they can 1) afford to live. Not just live and make it. But to have a healthy good quality life that they can actually enjoy 2) fund a better education for kids, aka, the future of our country and our world. (so we dont get stuck in the cycle) and we need NEW ideas. Because were stuck in a patriarchal and oligarchy society (which i will write about later on about how females were actually the ones who run the world--and we still do--but it is the man who is given too much power and wants more and more and then will attack their giver and keep all of the incoming ones down) ALSO! READ MY SHIT! MY STUFF THAT I WROTE IN ENGLISH CLASS! Because I do mention that we can educate more people and improve the country in the long term. Instead of sending them to war with bad weapons and for a temporary profit that is only good for the short term and for one side. But for the long term? And the longer and wider term? It doesnt work. And it sucks for not just america, but then any other place we connect with through trade and all that other stuff and it gives us the result of having to shoot ourselves back down. Whatever we do short term, comes back in the long run in a bad way.

Him: and there hasnt been a new system of eons. Capitalisn, facism, democracy, and communism is the best humanity has been able to do. Yeaeh we can do a lot more than 50% of our taxes going to us lol

Me: Communism will stop growth. And its just not in our human nature (or any nature). Because we need incentives….we need to work for an unknown set up and set it up (the bar) for ourselves and see where we go from there. We need to not just know what we get and/or dont get out of x,y,z….but its what drives us and what makes us take risks to then go to our highest point

Him: hmmm. The incentive in communism arguably could be that you want the best for everyone (MY SIDE NOTE...or they just want everyone to just be their puppets and set everything up in their way….which is close to dictatorship and totalitarianism and extreme authoritarianism….). Like you dont want anyone to be homeless so you give up your mansion for an average sized home so that maybe 10 more people can have average sized houses who never had a house. (or….we all can be given all these things….like set with all the greatest and biggest things ever...but if we dont put in the effort and the time….then that will just become smaller and smaller and we lose our own value that is already within us…..)

Me: Yeah but that wouldnt be fair if we all get the same and one does wayyyy more than someone else and they get the same. (thats like someone who is a sinner, but the more someone wastes and the more they do this and that….then it will be more repentance they need….which is imo, something that would be a good college structure. Get a set salary, and if the teacher passes x amount then they get a raise from the people who set it. However, if a student still decides to fail...then they must pay back for what the professor may have been given the raise for….or they can just pay for what they failed bc the teacher had a set tuition and gave their best to teach these kids and not let them put the knowledge to waste...it would teach kids to really apply what they are learning in the time they are given and be smarter and choose smarter, etc….because they dont want to work for x amount of time just to repay the teacher….or….students can get a stipend for their efforts and continuous good grades...which could also act as a positive praise….like there is a negative punishment where they take something someone likes to punish them….or they give them something they dont like….which is suffering something in some form). Human nature doesnt work that way. We need to change the mindset and let people think like this: do your best. Educate yourself. Empower yourself. Dont let the bad 1% of the 1% fuck u up. Try to get involved. Voice out your opinion correctly and strong and respectively and still listen to other opinions and then put that one together and then you can make a good and/or maybe better deal. And spread it

Him: but then its not fair that most people have to be at the bottom for others to be successful

Me: (ummm….started from the bottom….duhhh lol. Its the effort!). No..because we will be educated and school would be available. And tbh. We ALL have the tools we need to succeed. And yes...it will be harder for others because they started at the bottom and/or they were oppressed (and again it goes to their perseverance and their risk taking and how they calculate this and that and knowing what they want and why..because every view that is higher than where they were is always better than the one below….so never really have expectations. But go in increments of getting it done….because then you will be happy you got there, and be happy you have more than what you previously had and then you can use all that you used before, like the leftovers, and then add more to that from where you are now and then how you can get even higher...kinda like exponential growth). But they need to use the tools more resourcefully. Like yo. We got the internet. That has everything on there and it connects people and knowledge and thats just expansion waiting to happen...and the reward feeling will be beyond them. Theyll be super happy. Share and spread how. Their stories of success and it will inspire people. And thats why people think education is being wasted and not as valued as it should be anymore (because a lot do waste it and its because they are just another cycle…) people dont use it to their best advantage and they dont realize how advantageous it is, so it only SEEMS like it is getting people nowhere. AND on top of that (culture), there is a lot of entertainment and superficial things out there that distract them. And entertainment takes the education process out. I reallllyyyyy think education and learning in general is great. And i do think that entertainment can be cut down lol. Like idk. Raise prices for those things and make people get pushed out of that due to the fact they will waste mad money and time on it and not get anything in return. I actually want to be an educator. But not the typical one. Just empower people and put emphasis on autonomy and using resources out there to their best ability and even get creative about it. Emphasis on self education, reading, thinking deeper, questioning underlying things, learning outside of school, connecting things and how things affect what and who and why and how and where it all starts and what the time was and repeat that. How to actually improve things and do research and develop our own thoughts and stuff, instead of just rioting and protesting and boycotting and strikes. Instead of when there is a problem, dont fight with nothing….go make something. Because again…..that damage will be reflected in our own tax money….so really take these things and use them to make it better...i think knowledge and questioning everything you THINK you know...and wonder if it is rlly you or just what THEY want you to think (which is what DJ Khaled is trying to tell us)

*sends pic from usanews.com*

“‘Its definitely been a strategy’ to justify starving government resources, which in turn weakens it and makes it less attractive as a tool to accomplish big things, said Skocopol. ‘In an everybody-for-themselves situation, it is the better-educated and the wealthy who can protect themselves’”.

The middle paragraph tho. They already have a huge privilege to be in school. I have the internet and books too so i can even further my knowledge. However, that is not accessible to everyone. And they will be left behind and isnt it a constitutional thing that we ALL have the liberty to use things to achieve our pursuit of happiness?

[viralhottopics]

Republicans Are Crying About Obamacare Problems They Helped Create

The Republican case for repealing the Affordable Care Act and moving swiftly to enact a replacement plan largely rests on oft-repeated arguments that the law is floundering so badly, urgent action is needed.

President Donald Trump uses terms like disastrous and failing. House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) calls repeal-and-replace a rescue mission, because the law has a fatal conceit a design flaw that means insurers arent attracting enough young and healthy people to cover the costs of customers with big medical bills.

The health insurance markets regulated by the Affordable Care Act are actually in better shape than Republicans admit. Just this week, the Congressional Budget Office said the marketplaces were on their way to stability.

But the struggles that Trump and fellow Republicans describe in their speeches are real enough. Particularly in states like Arizona and Tennessee, premiums have shot up and insurers have fled, leaving few choices for consumers.

What Republicans fail to mention is that many of these problems are the handiwork of state and federal Republican officials who spent years undermining the law, contributing to the conditions they now say oblige them to dismantle it.

These efforts are not by any means the only reason so many insurers have struggled. But they have played a significant role.

Defunding Risk Corridors

When Democrats wrote the Affordable Care Act, they understood that insurers might initially have a hard time figuring out where to set prices. Because insurers hadnt sold these kinds of policies (with comprehensive benefits) under these conditions (without exclusions for pre-existing conditions), they didnt have actuarial data on which to base pricing decisions.

In order to reassure insurers that might hesitate to enter the markets amid such unknowns, and in order to protect them against crippling losses, the laws architects created a risk corridor program, in which the government promised to reimburse insurers, mostly, for excessive losses. (Insurers that misjudged in the other direction, and had unexpected windfalls, would pay part of that money into the program.)

The idea was not novel. Medicare Part D, the program that provides seniors with prescription drug coverage, also has a risk corridor program. And it has never been controversial even though its a permanent part of the program, unlike the temporary one in the Affordable Care Act.

But conservative groups targeted the program, calling it a bailout for health insurance companies, despite the fact that it was included in the law from the beginning. Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) picked up the mantle and led a crusade to undercut the programs funding.

In 2014, Rubio got his proposal into the year-end spending agreement and President Barack Obama, feeling the rest of the legislation was necessary to keep the government functioning, signed it. Later, during a presidential debate, Rubio even bragged about it.

Congress not funding the risk corridor program was the most consistent issue Kevin Counihan, former HHS official, on what he heard from insurance executives

Insurers ended up filing $8.3 billion in claims for 2014 and 2015, but the program ended up paying out just $362 million. Several insurers have since sued to get the money they claim to be owed, and one has already won its case. But its not clear they will ever get the money.

Kevin Counihan, who ran HealthCare.gov for the Obama administration after overseeing Connecticuts health insurance exchange, said he heard about risk corridors all the time last year, while he was meeting with insurers about participation for 2017.

Congress not funding the risk-corridor program was the most consistent issue, Counihan said. Many carriers established their 2014 and 2015 rates with the assumption that the government would make good on this part of the law. Not doing so hurt both their financials, our credibility, and their boards commitment to remain in the program.

And this is about more than just health insurance companies losing money. The true purpose of these payments is to reduce premiums by allowing insurers to charge lower rates, knowing theyre protected if they get hit with higher-than-expected costs. Premiums were 10 percent to 14 percent lower in 2014, and 6 percent to 11 percent lower in 2015, because of this program, according to the American Academy of Actuaries.

Insurance companies got no payments from this fund for 2015 because the government had no money left. The realization that this money wouldnt be available again for 2016 and 2017 contributed to insurers decisions to institute large premium increases this year and, likely, more rate hikes next year.

Blocking the Medicaid Expansion

The theory of the Affordable Care Acts coverage expansion was pretty simple. People with incomes above 133 percent of the poverty line, or about $32,000 for a family of four, would buy coverage through the exchanges, where low- and middle-income people can apply for tax credits to reduce their premiums. People with incomes below that threshold would get coverage through Medicaid, once states took advantage of new federal funding to expand eligibility.

The theory didnt count on the Supreme Court, which in 2012 affirmed that states have the right to reject the money to expand Medicaid and keep the limited eligibility they had before. Initially, more than half the states did precisely that. All had Republican governors or majority-Republican legislatures, although a number of GOP-led states, like Arizona and North Dakota, did adopt the expansion.

The immediate consequence of refusing to expand Medicaid was to deprive millions of Americans living in those states of insurance. But those decisions also had a spillover effect.

Exchanges in these states are picking up more of the lowest-income customers the ones with incomes between 100 percent and 133 percent of the poverty line, or between $24,600 and $32,718 for a family of four. (Under the law, people with incomes below the poverty line are not eligible for the subsidies.) It might not sound like a big deal, but it had a direct impact on premiums for everyone.

Those extra enrollees tended to be in worse health than the rest of the population. In states that did not expand Medicaid, these people ended up signing up for exchange plans where their relatively high medical bills drove up costs for the insurers, eventually contributing to losses and higher premiums for all customers.

On the whole, rates in expansion states were about 7 percent lower than in non-expansion states, according to a Department of Health and Human Services study that controlled for demographics and other factors.

Undermining Outreach

Enrolling a sufficiently large population in the new insurance plans was always going to be a challenge, because many of the uninsured had little experience shopping for and buying coverage and because, particularly among middle-class consumers, the prices were in many cases going to seem high.

And while the federal government took on some of that responsibility, state officials had a special role to play, because they retain a lot of regulatory authority over insurance and, crucially, they better understood the idiosyncrasies of their insurance markets and their states residents.

Some states, typically the ones that had decided to create their own exchanges, promoted enrollment enthusiastically. But other states didnt offer support. A few again, all with Republicans in power actually did their best to make enrollment difficult.

Georgias insurance commissioner, Ralph Hudgens, put it unusually bluntly. Let me tell you what were doing, he said in August 2013, just two months before the first open enrollment period. Everything in our power to be an obstructionist. Hudgens also said, Im not going to do anything in my power to make this law successful. In other words, rather than assist Georgians who elected him with getting health coverage, Hudgens prioritized resisting Obama.

The impact of these efforts isnt clear. But enrollment in states that ran their own exchanges, which is a pretty good proxy for enrollment enthusiasm, was moderately higher overall than in states that relied on HealthCare.gov, according to a 2016 paper by economists Molly Frean, Jonathan Gruber, and Benjamin Sommers.

One constant for the early years of the Affordable Care Act was enthusiastic support from Washington. That obviously changed in January, when Trump became president and open enrollment for this year was entering its final days.

The very day Trump was inaugurated, he issued an executive order instructing agencies to relax Affordable Care Act rules. The IRS responded a short while later by announcing it wouldnt fully enforce the laws individual mandate, which has the potential to suppress enrollment among healthy people who need the coverage less.

The end of open enrollment period has historically seen a surge of signups, as people rush to meet the deadline, and the late signups tend to be healthier on average, helping the risk pool. But the Trump administration canceled some planned digital and television advertising and, this year, only about 400,000 people signed up in the final two weeks. In the same period last year, 700,000 did.

That drop may help explain why, this year, overall signups for HealthCare.gov policies fell slightly this year.Its also a reminder that the kind of people who have been trying to undermine Obamacare are now in charge of it. They may yet do more damage, unless they manage to repeal it altogether.

Read more: http://ift.tt/2mTrZCB

from Republicans Are Crying About Obamacare Problems They Helped Create

[mavwrekmarketing]

The Republican case for repealing the Affordable Care Act and moving swiftly to enact a replacement plan largely rests on oft-repeated arguments that the law is floundering so badly, urgent action is needed.

President Donald Trump uses terms like disastrous and failing. House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) calls repeal-and-replace a rescue mission, because the law has a fatal conceit a design flaw that means insurers arent attracting enough young and healthy people to cover the costs of customers with big medical bills.

The health insurance markets regulated by the Affordable Care Act are actually in better shape than Republicans admit. Just this week, the Congressional Budget Office said the marketplaces were on their way to stability.

But the struggles that Trump and fellow Republicans describe in their speeches are real enough. Particularly in states like Arizona and Tennessee, premiums have shot up and insurers have fled, leaving few choices for consumers.

What Republicans fail to mention is that many of these problems are the handiwork of state and federal Republican officials who spent years undermining the law, contributing to the conditions they now say oblige them to dismantle it.

These efforts are not by any means the only reason so many insurers have struggled. But they have played a significant role.

Defunding Risk Corridors

When Democrats wrote the Affordable Care Act, they understood that insurers might initially have a hard time figuring out where to set prices. Because insurers hadnt sold these kinds of policies (with comprehensive benefits) under these conditions (without exclusions for pre-existing conditions), they didnt have actuarial data on which to base pricing decisions.

In order to reassure insurers that might hesitate to enter the markets amid such unknowns, and in order to protect them against crippling losses, the laws architects created a risk corridor program, in which the government promised to reimburse insurers, mostly, for excessive losses. (Insurers that misjudged in the other direction, and had unexpected windfalls, would pay part of that money into the program.)

The idea was not novel. Medicare Part D, the program that provides seniors with prescription drug coverage, also has a risk corridor program. And it has never been controversial even though its a permanent part of the program, unlike the temporary one in the Affordable Care Act.

But conservative groups targeted the program, calling it a bailout for health insurance companies, despite the fact that it was included in the law from the beginning. Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) picked up the mantle and led a crusade to undercut the programs funding.

In 2014, Rubio got his proposal into the year-end spending agreement and President Barack Obama, feeling the rest of the legislation was necessary to keep the government functioning, signed it. Later, during a presidential debate, Rubio even bragged about it.

Congress not funding the risk corridor program was the most consistent issue Kevin Counihan, former HHS official, on what he heard from insurance executives

Insurers ended up filing $8.3 billion in claims for 2014 and 2015, but the program ended up paying out just $362 million. Several insurers have since sued to get the money they claim to be owed, and one has already won its case. But its not clear they will ever get the money.

Kevin Counihan, who ran HealthCare.gov for the Obama administration after overseeing Connecticuts health insurance exchange, said he heard about risk corridors all the time last year, while he was meeting with insurers about participation for 2017.

Congress not funding the risk-corridor program was the most consistent issue, Counihan said. Many carriers established their 2014 and 2015 rates with the assumption that the government would make good on this part of the law. Not doing so hurt both their financials, our credibility, and their boards commitment to remain in the program.

And this is about more than just health insurance companies losing money. The true purpose of these payments is to reduce premiums by allowing insurers to charge lower rates, knowing theyre protected if they get hit with higher-than-expected costs. Premiums were 10 percent to 14 percent lower in 2014, and 6 percent to 11 percent lower in 2015, because of this program, according to the American Academy of Actuaries.

Insurance companies got no payments from this fund for 2015 because the government had no money left. The realization that this money wouldnt be available again for 2016 and 2017 contributed to insurers decisions to institute large premium increases this year and, likely, more rate hikes next year.

Blocking the Medicaid Expansion

The theory of the Affordable Care Acts coverage expansion was pretty simple. People with incomes above 133 percent of the poverty line, or about $32,000 for a family of four, would buy coverage through the exchanges, where low- and middle-income people can apply for tax credits to reduce their premiums. People with incomes below that threshold would get coverage through Medicaid, once states took advantage of new federal funding to expand eligibility.

The theory didnt count on the Supreme Court, which in 2012 affirmed that states have the right to reject the money to expand Medicaid and keep the limited eligibility they had before. Initially, more than half the states did precisely that. All had Republican governors or majority-Republican legislatures, although a number of GOP-led states, like Arizona and North Dakota, did adopt the expansion.

The immediate consequence of refusing to expand Medicaid was to deprive millions of Americans living in those states of insurance. But those decisions also had a spillover effect.

Exchanges in these states are picking up more of the lowest-income customers the ones with incomes between 100 percent and 133 percent of the poverty line, or between $24,600 and $32,718 for a family of four. (Under the law, people with incomes below the poverty line are not eligible for the subsidies.) It might not sound like a big deal, but it had a direct impact on premiums for everyone.

Those extra enrollees tended to be in worse health than the rest of the population. In states that did not expand Medicaid, these people ended up signing up for exchange plans where their relatively high medical bills drove up costs for the insurers, eventually contributing to losses and higher premiums for all customers.

On the whole, rates in expansion states were about 7 percent lower than in non-expansion states, according to a Department of Health and Human Services study that controlled for demographics and other factors.

Undermining Outreach

Enrolling a sufficiently large population in the new insurance plans was always going to be a challenge, because many of the uninsured had little experience shopping for and buying coverage and because, particularly among middle-class consumers, the prices were in many cases going to seem high.

And while the federal government took on some of that responsibility, state officials had a special role to play, because they retain a lot of regulatory authority over insurance and, crucially, they better understood the idiosyncrasies of their insurance markets and their states residents.

Some states, typically the ones that had decided to create their own exchanges, promoted enrollment enthusiastically. But other states didnt offer support. A few again, all with Republicans in power actually did their best to make enrollment difficult.

Georgias insurance commissioner, Ralph Hudgens, put it unusually bluntly. Let me tell you what were doing, he said in August 2013, just two months before the first open enrollment period. Everything in our power to be an obstructionist. Hudgens also said, Im not going to do anything in my power to make this law successful. In other words, rather than assist Georgians who elected him with getting health coverage, Hudgens prioritized resisting Obama.

The impact of these efforts isnt clear. But enrollment in states that ran their own exchanges, which is a pretty good proxy for enrollment enthusiasm, was moderately higher overall than in states that relied on HealthCare.gov, according to a 2016 paper by economists Molly Frean, Jonathan Gruber, and Benjamin Sommers.

One constant for the early years of the Affordable Care Act was enthusiastic support from Washington. That obviously changed in January, when Trump became president and open enrollment for this year was entering its final days.

The very day Trump was inaugurated, he issued an executive order instructing agencies to relax Affordable Care Act rules. The IRS responded a short while later by announcing it wouldnt fully enforce the laws individual mandate, which has the potential to suppress enrollment among healthy people who need the coverage less.

The end of open enrollment period has historically seen a surge of signups, as people rush to meet the deadline, and the late signups tend to be healthier on average, helping the risk pool. But the Trump administration canceled some planned digital and television advertising and, this year, only about 400,000 people signed up in the final two weeks. In the same period last year, 700,000 did.

That drop may help explain why, this year, overall signups for HealthCare.gov policies fell slightly this year.Its also a reminder that the kind of people who have been trying to undermine Obamacare are now in charge of it. They may yet do more damage, unless they manage to repeal it altogether.

Read more: http://ift.tt/2mTrZCB

 The post Republicans Are Crying About Obamacare Problems They Helped Create appeared first on MavWrek Marketing by Jason

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