#the only thing that matters is for me to be pleased with myself
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michelle's buddie fic recs: week 45!
what a week... i'm greatly enjoying all of the post-8x06 buddie fic (many more recs to come!) and took some time to revisit old favourites, which can be found in previous rec lists. enjoy!
this is a mix of fics with all ratings, so some include NSFW content. please take a look at both the ratings and the fic tags before reading! some might also contain spoilers for season 8.
if you come across something you like in this list, remember to show some love to the author by leaving kudos and a comment!
all that we need | not1_2write | 26.4k | M
When Buck buys a Powerball lottery ticket he doesn't think much beyond his need for change to air up his tire. He forgets all about the ticket until word spreads that the winning ticket was sold in LA and hasn't been claimed yet and pretty much dismisses it. After all, there's no way he won the lottery. Turns out no, he really did win the Powerball, to the tune of 295 million dollars and just in time for Christmas. He's going to make sure the 118 has the best Christmas of their lives. And just maybe he'll have a good one too. idk about all of you but i do dream about winning the lottery regularly (way too often for someone who's never bought a ticket, that's for sure). this is such a lovely look at what buck would do with a whole lot of money <3
i take this magnetic force of a man | playinginthunderstorms/@playinginthunderstorms | 9k | M
Turns out, he isn’t actually afraid of commitment. He’s just afraid of committing to the wrong thing, or the wrong person. Ana, obviously, had been a mistake, because he hadn’t been ready, and he’d put other people’s expectations above his own wants and needs. With Marisol, he’s done the same thing. Moved too fast, doing what he thinks is the right thing according to who? His parents? For Chris’s benefit? Again, pushing past his own comfort, discarding any doubt because it doesn’t fit like… Like Buck. blanket rec for one of my favourite authors who has been posting incredible fics lately!! this one in particular is so beautifully written and so romantic and just so very buddie <3
if i need to rearrange my particules i will for you | thelikesofus/@thelikesofus | 7.9k | GA
Eddie catches a cold and Buck takes care of him while having a minor, non-platonic emotional crisis. this is definitely influenced by the fact that i've been ill myself but wow truly nothing hits as hard as buddie taking care of each other when one of them isn't feeling well. the bed sharing in this is so good <3
let me | facewithoutheart/@facewithoutheart | 1.6k | T
Eddie doesn't think he needs romance. Buck, respectfully, disagrees. AKA the fic where Buck picks Eddie up and kisses him breathless against a wall. and buck is so right for doing that!! i love it when buck turns eddie to jello <3 so lovely!
second child, restless child | lesbianrobin/@lesbianrobin | 23k and counting| M
how Evan and Maddie make it out of Pennsylvania, and Buck and Maddie build a family. okay so listen these past few weeks i've been doing this thing where i only rec finished fics, and every time i scroll through my ao3 history for these rec lists, i come across this one and go oh i wish i could rec this already. and then i realised wait it's my rec list i can do whatever i want, and so then i did. anyway, mind the tags for this one, but wow are you in for a treat here! i love the character dynamics (chim is brilliant in this!! and maddie!!) and i'm so so excited to see the rest of this fic unfold <3
said that i was fine, said it from my coffin | justhockey/tumblr | 7.3k | T
And it doesn’t matter that he feels like he’s dying. Like the version of himself that he’s always been is suddenly a stranger to him - just a mask he’d spent his entire life hiding behind, without ever even realising he was wearing it. It doesn’t matter that Eddie is…that he’s gay. Because he knows - as surely as he knows that the sun will rise again tomorrow - that the only person he has ever, and will ever, truly love is Buck. And Buck isn’t his to love. another blanket rec for an author who's been posting incredible fics!! this one in particular has such brilliant eddie characterisation and i just devoured it the second i got that little ao3 email hehe
there's no place like home-spun | icewhisper | 4.1k | GA
Buck has spent most of his life trying to find something to settle fidgeting hands and the restless need for a home. He found the key to the latter when he was thirteen. He finds the former in a cozy home on South Bedford Street with two of his favorite people. (AKA the Buck-crochets fic that literally no one asked for.). this fic makes me want to learn how to crochet. i am the least crafty person ever and i have like minus time but just know that if two weeks from now i'm posting about yarn and crochet hooks and whatnot, it's all thanks to this fic. i love buck who crochets so very much <3
you get your dreams for free | llovely/@butchdiaz| 14.9k | T
five times buck and eddie cuddle drunk and one time they cuddle sober. buddie bed sharing my absolute favourite. i read this late at night curled up under three blankets and it hit just right <3
#a bit of a shorter list than usual cause i've been rereading previously recced stuff#makes me so glad i have a masterlist spreadsheet so i don't have to dig through old posts to see what's been recced before#buddie#buddie fic#buddie fic rec#911 abc#911 fic#911 fic rec#michelle’s recs#fic rec list
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3#-> 💌: a letter has arrived from satoru gojo.
dear y/n.
honestly, i don't even know where to begin. don’t get me wrong, fighting curses is fun in a crazy, adrenaline-fueled kind of way, but it’s not you. it’s like, no matter how much i’m surrounded by action and danger, all i want to do is be home with you, goof around, maybe get you to roll your eyes at my dumb jokes (because i know i’m the funniest, you can’t deny it). everything here feels a little out of place without you by my side. i’m handling it, of course. i’m always handling things, right? but you being around just makes everything better. i guess that's what they mean when they say “there’s no place like home." and right now, you are my home.
sometimes, when i’m in the middle of a fight or chasing down a curse in shibuya, i catch myself thinking, “this would be a whole lot more fun if y/n was here." i mean, think about it— if you were here, you’d probably find some way to make all the curses laughable, or at the very least, make me laugh. you're the one who gets me to take a step back, breathe, and realize that not everything has to be this serious.. out here, it’s always intense, always life or death, but i swear, the best part of my day is imagining how you’d act if you were with me. but i know i have to do this. it'd be selfish of me to wish you were here during all this chaos.. but i miss you. can't wait to goof around with you again, sweetheart xx.
love, your super cute boyfriend, satoru ♡
p.s. being with you is the only time i truly feel like i’ve got everything under control. i don't know if i'll come back.. but if i do, PLEASE remind me to never go somewhere so far away from you, it's killing me!!! :(
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jjk x gn!reader#jjk x gender neutral reader#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujustu kaisen x you#jjk satoru#gojo satoru x you#gojou satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#jjk gojo#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#satoru x reader#satoru x you#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#gojo#love#love notes#love letters#fluffy#fluff#jujustu kaisen fluff#jjk fluff#seraphina's letters ✎
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To Be Loved Is To Be Seen. | Gojo Satoru x f!Reader.
warnings: self-doubt, mutual pinning, mental health struggles, emotional hurt/comfort.
A/N: hehe i know i said that i don't write but this is a little thing i wrote yesterday, (first time posting something that’s not a smau, so bear with me!) this is for my avoidant attachment cuties who have so much love to offer but that are also always scared of ruining things with the person they love and think they’re not enough. i feel you—i struggle with this too. but remember, you’re always enough and deserve love so don't push it away. i wrote this while crying (lol) because i found myself in a similar situation with my actual boyfriend when we first started "dating". hope you enjoy reading, let me know what you think!
also likes and reblogs are appreciated! :)
word count: 2320.
“No,” you say, stepping back and resting your hands on the kitchen counter. “Stop that. You don’t mean what you’re saying right now.”
“You’re wrong,” Gojo says, stepping closer to you. “I mean every word.” He raises a hand, reaching out to touch you. “Please, look at me.”
“I can’t,” you whisper, avoiding his touch. “You should go.”
“I love you.”
“You don’t.”
He falters, and for a moment, the silence between you and him feels like a heavy weight. His gaze never leaves yours, though you can’t bring yourself to meet it.
“I do,” he insists, his voice low but unwavering. “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.”
“I’m a mess,” you choke out, your voice trembling as you turn away, desperate to hide the tears that threaten to fall. “I don’t deserve your love. I’m broken.”
“You deserve better.” Your voice cracks. “Someone who isn’t afraid of loving you.”
The silence stretches as Gojo watches you, the pain in his eyes mirroring yours. His chest rises and falls with uneven breaths, as if he’s struggling to hold himself together. He takes in the way your shoulders hunch, the way your hands grip the counter behind you like it’s the only thing keeping you grounded. The tension is palpable, each second stretching out, heavy with unspoken fears.
“Stop,” he interrupts, his voice hoarse, filled with raw emotion that makes your heart stutter. “You’re all I deserve—and more than I ever thought I could have. Don’t you see? It’s always been you.”
He steps forward, ignoring the space you tried to put between you and him, until there’s only a breath between you. “None of that matters to me. I see you, all of you. And I love you. Every part of you, even the parts you think are too much to bear.”
“You don’t understand.” Your voice cracks, a sob catching in your throat. “I can’t… I can’t let you in. You’ll get hurt, and I can’t let that happen.”
“Then let me decide,” he says softly, his voice full of tenderness. “Let me be the one to choose.”
You shake your head, wiping your eyes, not wanting him to see how vulnerable you feel. “You don’t know what you’re asking. I don’t know how to love anyone… I don’t even know how to love myself.”
He steps even closer, his voice a soft but firm whisper. “I’m not asking for perfection. I’m asking for you. All of you, as you are. Because you are enough for me.”
You back away, the ache in your chest intensifying, but he doesn’t move. His eyes are full of something you can’t name, something that pulls at the deepest parts of you, something that terrifies you. “I can’t… I can’t let you do this.”
“Why?” Gojo’s question is quiet, almost a plea. “Why can’t you believe me? Why can’t you see that I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere?”
The words catch in your throat. The wall you’ve spent so long building starts to crack, but you can’t let it fall. Not now. Not like this.
“Because I’m afraid,” you finally whisper, your voice barely audible. “Afraid that if I let you in, you’ll leave when you realize how much of a disaster I really am.”
He takes another step forward, his eyes searching yours for some kind of answer, some sign that you’ll let him in. “I’m not going anywhere,” Gojo says, his voice steady. “I’m staying.”
Your breath hitches, and for the first time, you let yourself meet his gaze, really meet it. His eyes are open, raw, like he’s offering you every part of himself. The tenderness in his expression is almost too much to bear.
“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” you say, shaking your head, but your voice is quieter now, softer.
“I know.” He murmurs, his hand hovering just inches from you, like he’s waiting for you to make the choice. “But I’m not afraid of you. I’m not afraid of your pain. I’ll take all of it if it means I get to love you.”
A tear slips down your cheek, and you try to wipe it away quickly, but he reaches out and gently catches your wrist. “Let me love you. Let me stay.”
The words hang in the air between you—heavy and final. For a moment, the room feels like it’s shrinking, the tension pulling at your chest, at your heart. You want to believe him, want to let yourself fall into the safety he’s offering. But the fear, the doubt—it feels like a weight too great to lift.
“I’m not… I’m not ready,” you whisper, your voice trembling with the truth. “I’m not ready to let anyone in. Not like this.” You look at him, your voice barely a whisper. “Please, Gojo, you should go.”
He lowers his hand but doesn’t pull away. He steps closer, closing the distance until you’re standing so close you can feel the warmth of his presence, the steady rhythm of his breath. “You don’t have to be ready,” he says softly, his voice low and insistent. “Not right now. Don’t send me away. Just let me stay.”
You don’t know how to respond, don’t know what to do with the storm of emotions crashing inside you. But in that moment, you feel something shift. Maybe you can’t let him in completely—not yet. But maybe, just maybe, you don’t have to push him away completely either.
“I’m too much for you,” you whisper, almost as if saying it out loud makes it more real. “I can’t fix myself. No one can… not even you.”
Gojo takes another step forward, gently cupping your face in his hands. His touch is warm, grounding. “You don’t need to fix yourself. You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to be anything but you. And I’m not going anywhere, no matter how many times you tell me to.”
A shudder runs through your body as the tears you’ve been holding back finally spill over. You close your eyes, trying to hide the vulnerability from him, but he doesn’t let you. He pulls you closer, wrapping his arms around you, holding you with a tenderness that feels like home.
“I’m scared,” you admit, your voice muffled against his chest. “I’m so scared that if I let you in, I’ll destroy everything.”
“You’re not going to destroy anything,” he murmurs, holding you tighter. “You’re not going to destroy me, and even if you do, I wouldn’t mind being hurt by you if that means I could actually be with you, to love you. I’m choosing to stay, even if it’s messy. Even if it’s hard.”
Gojo pulls back just slightly, his thumb gently wiping the tears from your face. His gaze softens, full of affection. “I wish you could have my eyes for just a moment, to see how perfect and incredible you are. You’re an amazing woman. Don’t you see that?” he says quietly, his voice filled with warmth.
"I’m not perfect,” you say, your voice cracking again as more tears fall.
He lifts your chin with his finger, making you meet his gaze. “I don’t want you to be perfect. I never did. I just want you—exactly as you are. All the imperfections and scars, they’re part of what makes you who you are. And that’s more than enough for me.”
You inhale shakily, the weight of his words settling into your chest. “But what if I can’t love you the way you deserve?”
Gojo’s hand cups your cheek now, his touch gentle and sure. “You don’t have to love me perfectly. You just have to try. We’ll figure it out together, one step at a time. But you don’t have to be afraid to love me, or to let me love you.”
You let out a broken laugh, wiping your eyes. “I don’t know how to stop being afraid.”
“Then let me help you,” Gojo says, his voice soft, yet strong. “I’ll be right here, through the fear, the pain, and everything in between. Like i said, I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying. Always."
His words wrap around you like a blanket, offering warmth you didn’t think you could feel again. Maybe you’re not ready to let go of all your walls, but maybe, just maybe, you don’t need to be. Because with him here, you’re starting to think that it’s okay to take that first step toward trusting someone with your heart.
And as you stand in his arms, the fear doesn’t go away—but it starts to feel like something you can face, as long as he’s by your side.
And for the first time, you let yourself believe him. Hope stirs in your chest, fragile but present. Maybe, just maybe, you don’t have to do this alone.
© gojodickbig on tumblr. all rights reserved. do not cross-post, translate, copy in any way, etc.
#gojosatoru#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#jjk gojo satoru#gojo#satoru#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x female reader#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru ff#satoru gojo#satorugojo#gojo satoru x f!reader
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DIABOLIK LOVERS More,Blood Stellaworth Complete Set Tokuten Short Stories ☽ Ruki ver.
Original title: DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE,BLOOD ステラワース全巻連動購入特典ショートストーリ English translation by @otomehonyaku Scans can be found here (courtesy of @karleksmumskladdkaka!)
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
SUMMARY | This short story provides a slice of Ruki and Yui's daily life after the events of More,Blood. Ruki has always had a preference for soup, but when Yui prepares a particularly hearty vegetable soup for him one day, he comes to an important realisation.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
—The first time I learned to appreciate soup was when I was in that dark cage.
“It had already gone cold, but to me, it was the most delicious thing on Earth back then. It was infinitely better than the junk I ate while I roamed the streets, after all.”
“Oh…”
Somehow, as I ate the soup she had prepared for me, I had somehow started talking about all the reasons why I had this particular preference for the dish. The story had stolen the words right from her mouth.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I shouldn’t have brought up such an unpleasant story during dinner.”
“That’s… that’s not it,” she explained, hurrying to wipe the tears from her eyes. That’s not what I meant…”
“Do you pity my past self?”
“Pity kind of feels like… a high-handed way of putting it. I don’t mean it like that…”
“I see.” My voice was monotonous while I spoke.
I took up my spoon again and continued to eat.
It was a simple consomme soup, filled with colourful slices of a variety of vegetables. The soup that we were served during our time in the detention facility was a far cry from this. Back then, the few off-coloured beans that floated in the soup, though they barely had any nutritional value, were enough to bring me at least an inkling of happiness.
While the memory resurfaced, it occurred to me that I had obtained true happiness since then, no matter how absurd it seemed.
“And to think a human would accompany me at dinner…” I mumbled to myself, earning a surprised look and a soft what did you say? from her.
It’s nothing, I swiftly replied.
My life was saved by Him. The four of us had been destined to die a noble death in that filthy cell, and yet He had rescued us. Just like that, he became our god. Our saviour.
Someone to serve.
My brothers and I would do anything to fulfil his wishes without batting so much as an eye. And yet… What was I even doing right now?
I let her make soup for me like this. She willingly stayed with me all this time, even though she cannot become Eve. Even though I cannot become Adam.
“Ruki…?”
As we sat in silence, various thoughts stirring inside of me and picking at my resolve, I reached across the table to take her hand in my own.
“...?”
“Sorry. Would it be alright… if we stayed like this for a little while?” I said, my grip on her small, soft hand tightening.
Greed is a grave sin according to God.
Considering that I agreed with Him, I was awfully addicted to this greed all the same. I was the sinner of all sinners, thriving on such atrocities. When a simple bean soup was all it took to please you, the first taste of a good vegetable soup makes it easy to take such happiness for granted.
“Still, I will…”
Never let you go, I wanted to say, but I could not manage the words. She likely did not want to listen to the mutterings of such a weak, pitiable man.
It was difficult to gauge her thoughts, but it was then that she spoke with a gentle smile on her face. “Don’t worry.”
“What?”
“I’ll be by your side, Ruki.”
My eyes unconsciously widened in response. Her soft smile made my chest ache. She was Eve and I was her captor—she should be miserable, and yet she was so extraordinarily kind.
Did she not realise that it would only add to my suffering?
“Alright,” I replied curtly. Then, ever so unwillingly… I let go of her hand. “The soup is getting cold. Let’s eat.”
“Yes, let’s.”
After that, we ate the soup together in silence.
I found myself thinking there was nothing in the world that I wanted more in that moment. No matter how lavish a meal I would be served, I would cherish this vegetable soup as my favourite dish for as long as I lived.
#i reached 1300 followers last week aaaah! thank you all so much for the support (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)♡#sorry for the slight delay but i desperately needed to take a week off! i'll try to post the next mb short story this weekend#diabolik lovers#dialovers#diabolik lovers translation#diahell#diabolik lovers translations#otomehonyaku#my translations#diabolik lovers more blood#more blood#Mukami ruki#Ruki mukami
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The road so far
Summary: Have you ever wondered what goes through a writer’s mind while she’s trying to complete the stories you like so much? Well! Wonder no more! Here’s a first look into a writer’s unstable mind!
Characters: Bonten against Omi (no x because it’s war)
Word count: 1K
Content Warnings: fighting, slight breaking of the fourth wall, sitcoms, crackfic, it’s a joke. Yes, it can be read as x reader… just pretend. Hostility, a meme, DIH references, other fandoms mentioned.
A.N: TAKEOMI IS NOT OMI. I am Omi. I wrote this in 15 so it’s very rushed. idk… this is me trying to portray my internal struggles while I write. I just worked joke of 1000 words… and yes, characters never listen to what we want.
“If you think we’re gonna cooperate with you after leaving us for almost three years, you’re delusional,” Kokonoi crossed his legs once he sat down in front of Omi.
Omi had called a meeting with Bonten in hopes of coming to an agreement. She needed to work on her WIPs but her characters weren’t cooperating.
“As a matter of fact, I am delusional,” Omi answered, sipping from her water bottle, “anyway, I just need to finish the rest of the meetings and we’re done! Swear!”
Around her, the rest of Bonten sat with serious faces. Nobody was happy to be there. After her disappearance a few years ago, things weren’t quite as peaceful between them as they used to be.
“Yeah, yeah. I see how you are. Use us and drop us.” Sanzu sounded bitter and angry. He didn’t take the vanishing so well. He had bonded with her and she just left him. That wasn’t right in his book.
“Ugh, women…” With a sigh, Rindou stretched his long limbs, showing how tired and stressed he was.
“What do you mean ‘ugh? Women?’” Omi harshly questioned Rindou with a frown on her face.
“Nothing…” he replied nonchalantly, sitting up straight once again.
“Forget that! You clearly have preferences for certain members.” As she heard that voice her skin began to crawl. Hair standing on end, Omi slowly turned towards the source— once she saw his obnoxious face, only irritation was left behind.
“Oh, shut up, Ran! I wrote your story with your brother first! Why are you complaining?” She quickly replied, raising her hand in protest.
“Because he’s one of those,” added Mochi in a whisper.
So much of a whisper that was… half the men present burst out laughing which caused Ran to sigh in frustration. He was done. So many years and he still didn’t know what the hell that meant.
“We can't just hop back in,” Takeomi’s voice raised above the hysterical laughter of his peers.
Omi deflated at his words. She dreaded the worst… Was this how things were going to end?
“Please, I’ll do anything! I can’t leave the story like that!” Her eyes began to water as desperation crept in.
“Well, too bad! You left!” Sanzu’s bitterness didn’t falter, not even at the sight of unshed tears in her eyes.
“I said I was sorry! And I was busy with life, you know?”
“Yeah? Life? Then who are those guys? Rhysand? Sylus? Jinshi?” Sanzu spoke each name with disdain.
“Yeah! Who’s Umemiya? And some dude named Hoshina?” Rindou backed him up.
“More? I only heard about Sanji—” Kakucho suddenly intervened but was cut off by Omi.
“Okay! Stop! Oh my gosh!! Stoop!” Omi’s face had changed three different types of red in the last few seconds, “That… has nothing to—“
“Bullshit! I call bullshit! You created a different blog for the Stylus guy!” Sanzu was not dropping the subject.
“Oh my gosh! Let it go! And his name is Sylus!”
“AHAA!” Pink hairs wildly flew everywhere as Sanzu stood up and pointed an accusatory finger at Omi.
“Just… just help me write the few chapters I’m missing and the end. That’s all I’m asking… I lost the WIPs and I can’t by myself…” she pleaded. Internally praying they understood her dire situation.
“What do we get in return?” Mikey finally spoke after observing the back and forth between his men and Omi.
That sentence perked her up. A ray of hope finally came in between the stormy clouds.
“What-what would you want?” She asked with bright eyes and a new determination ignited.
“We can discuss that later,” Mikey waved his hand dismissively.
Omi nodded eagerly in return. Finally! Some progress. “Okay, fine… that’s good…”
After Mikey’s short exchange of words, they decided to end the meeting. It was time to move forward and begin working. Everyone stood up and began to leave the room.
They saw Omi move to the side with Takeomi and they started to talk amicably, with smiles and very friendly hand gestures. It was like time had never passed for them. She didn’t treat him differently and Takeomi seemed comfortable with her.
“Why does she like the old man…” Kakucho wondered out loud.
“It’s the daddy issues, I bet,” Sanzu was seething as he kept watching the scene play in front of him.
“What did you say?!” You turned your head like the exorcist once you heard those words leave Sanzu’s lips.
“Does she have superhuman hearing? How the hell did she hear you?” Ran said with a bit of panic in his voice.
And it began. Omi had been chasing the pink-haired man for a while now…
“I DON'T NEED YOU, SANZU! I CAN FINISH DIH WITHOUT YOU!” But before she could catch him, a pair of hands caught her first, “UGH! KAKUCHO LET ME GO! HE’S DEAD!”
Meanwhile a bit further away from the commotion.
“We have agreed to help her. Was it really necessary to do all the drama?” Questioned Takeomi to Mikey and Mochi. The three men watched the rest battling it out.
“We voted and the majority chose to make drama before agreeing,” Mikey said as his eyes followed Sanzu speeding away from Omi,
“Even Koko?” Mochi was surprised by that information.
“Even Koko.” Mumbled the short man.
“RAN, YOU TOO! BOTH YOU AND SANZU ARE DEAD!” Omi yelled, still being held by Kakucho who was trying to help diffuse the situation.
“What did I do?”
“YOU’RE ONE OF THOSE!” She kicked her feet in an attempt to be let loose, “I SHOULD HAVE KEPT WRITING FOR HAIKYUU! They wouldn’t treat me like this!”
“Yeah? Well, go and play ball with your sporty boys!” Ran screamed back.
“You’re insufferable!” Omi screamed as she tackled Ran to the ground.
“She became way more violent in the years we didn’t see her,” Mikey commented and the rest of his executive nodded in agreement. Everyone just watched Omi and Ran scuffling on the floor.
Bonus:
Omi: and then you do as it says here *points to the script*
Kakucho: that’s too mean. I don’t want to do that.
Omi: you’re a criminal! How is it mean to push her face down and—
Kakucho: shhh no please *blushing*
Omi: I’m working with amateurs… *throws her stack of paper into the trash*
#omificstags#Alexa play carry on my wayward son#Bonten x omi#HAHAHAHA#sanzu haruchiyo#kakucho hitto#ran haitani#bonten x reader#manjiro sano#mikey sano#kanji mochizuki#rindou haitani#kokonoi hajime#takeomi akashi#tokyo revengers#tokyorev#tokyo revengers x reader#tr memes#i like to think im funny
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I WASNT SURE ABOUT THAT BUT I APOLOGIZE
I have a couple of reading problems so I misunderstood what the asker meant so thats my fault
BUT genuinely this is important for a lot of you
While i did misread this one, there has still been asks similar to this that i did catch. against both Heart AND Mind. I usually just delete them since ive already stated i was against that [it IS in the rules btw & some of yall need to read that again before submitting. including the shipping and suggestive rules]. But there been quite a bit over time & it still keeps happening even now, along side some other things. [im not good at writing down & explaining my thoughts but i'll do my best]
One being the entire part stated above
Second being how people deal with/handle aspects of depression & the main idea with the album.
A lot of people treat it either as if its for a joke, downplay or ignore it, or even infantilize parts of it [mainly toward Heart]. The last being an especially horrible way of talking about depression and portraying it. Theres a lot of people here [including myself] who struggle with that and its just harmful or annoying to see the main part of the album get horribly misinterpreted for many many reasons.
Which semi goes into the third point being that, for Whole especially, these characters are no matter what connected to CJ himself. So I will repeat that I do not want ANY shipping headcanons, suggestive/nsfw headcanons, and no headcanons about Whole that are too closely related to CJ. That mainly being pronouns or any other sexuality for Whole.
And not only have I stated this but Jash himself has said that Whole is basically just him. Even saying that with HMS; he has his own ideas for them but lets the public decide & choose their own for them. While for the other, he says "He/Him for ‘Whole’, though, seeing as it’s just me."
While yes there are ways to go about HMS being Whole or Whole as a character, he is still connected TO Chonny. This also goes for the other versions of him like the Power Hours. They are, to me, too closely connected to CJ that I don't feel comfortable giving headcanons to a Real Person.
Again there are ways to go about it where its more from the idea of the album/single itself. it being a headcanon about the content but not the actual person. Especially when he clarified it already that at least Whole is just him, so likely the the other albums are as well.
While all of that is not ALL the submissions, a good majority of you are chill thankfully, its happened enough to where it needs to be stated again. Either way just take caution when sending something in and just PLEASE read the rules before doing anything.
Mind has Bluetooth hearing aids. Soul had got him them so he could hear and be able to enjoy music. Yet, neither it nor Mind knew that they could connect to *anything.* Even if he didn't want them to. Heart found this out and connected them to his phone, just so he could play random ass sounds in Mind's ear.
Headcanon #895
#again my fault for the headcanon itself as that was just my brain not. comprehending it correctly#but also its just needed to be said anyway#been getting too many submissions that a weird. harmful. & uncomfortable as of late#both here and on the incorrect quotes#also apologies for any grammer or spelling mistakes i again am not great at certain texts.#not a headcanon
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ramble in tags
#been seeing a lot of negativity towards feminine two and honestly that makes me feel really sad#i considered making them more masculine or androgynous and removing the she/it pronouns from my headcanon#but i realized that even if i do that there will still be people that dont really like my design#its impossible to please everyone#and that's okay#the only thing that matters is for me to be pleased with myself#and right now i kind of am#so im going to keep doing what makes me happy#which is this#this makes me happy#two tag#komet art
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can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest
like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!
#me.txt#jjba#i'm going to ramble in tags actually. excuse me#ok. rereading sdc and so confused at the general perception of jotaro and his friends/family. he's not NEARLY as flat or as dickish#i understand that the anime (particularly the dub) tends to slander him but even then he still clearly cares for them! i'm confused#i also understand that a lot of people dig against jotaro and kakyoin as a dynamic because 'they're popular' and that generally disliking#popular things across media is a thing that i've seen consistently everywhere but the discredit to them simply as a DUO and not even as a#pairing is so..... odd..... like they're considered to be a duo that clicks for a reason. i enjoyed them even before i got into the fandom#every time i see someone say jotaro is overrated/dull i take a shot and assume they're an anime-only or only read the manga like once btw#joseph and jotaro also have a neat dynamic and they obviously both love and care for each other. like they're not going to go around loudly#or anything but literally the entirety of the lovers and the prelude to the dio fight IS jotaro being worked up over joseph getting hurt#equally i don't know if it translates to the anime as much but joseph is VERY complimentary when it comes to jotaro. like he sings his#praises so often and reminds everyone that he's his grandson so frequently (d'arby the gamer is a good example of this). either way it's so#peculiar....... there's not enough avdol and jotaro content btw (also in canon) because jotaro obviously looks up to him and avdol jokes#around with him on the occasion they interact after their intro which doesn't start very well. it's very cute#i do think an important thing to note about jotaro's character is how he acts AFTER his intro because he's so drastically different. early#jotaro and later jotaro aren't the same character and i do not mean this in a character development way. excluding the jail incident he's#completely different and probably shouldn't really be taken into account (especially considering the amount of slapstick in araki's intros)#and i think that's really???? what people center on for his character? Which sucks balls bad!#anyways. i could ramble more about this if asked i have so much to say but sigh. jotaro cares so much for his friends and family he's not a#flat fully cold asshole character regardless of whether you watch the anime or ova or read the manga. you just have poor media literacy#i wouldn't recommend watching solely the anime for his character though. the dub also changes a lot so it's... questionable#i love the anime and it's still important for him though. also adds neat stuff. i need to stop myself. i have many thoughts on the matter#jotaro kujo#joseph joestar#noriaki kakyoin#adding in case anyone sees: i am not saying that he is perfect about this. in fact he is very ass about it with jolyne and holly and that's#very important. he also is in fact an asshole sometimes. NOT as much as you guys are making him though!#please don't get me started on how much of a dick etc people make kakyoin to veer away from the 'woobified' characterizations of him#in fact i think that's bad if not worse because it CLAIMS to be in character. hes a prim asshole at times but not that angry or dishevelled
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I'll either succeed or I'll learn trying
#I wanna REMEMBER THIS!!!!!!!!#its helpful for me to keep in mind#not failing. learning#learning. learning makes failures into something worthwhile#grimacing as I repeat this to myself#text post#delete later#idk saying it cause it made me be like heh. nice#so idk might make someone else be like hm... nice#so LAMGOMSAGKLSAJGALKGJASLKGMSALKGJ#there is not much thought behind the things I post there's just not really much thought in general#honestly that is not true#I overthing everything. on account of the anxiety#but it's all good#speaking of the doc gave me an anti anxiety med on top of the adhd thing#so that's cool#seems to be working though..#she told me I could up the dose and I might do that in like a week if it feels like hrmm#I asked for all the instructions about starting stopping upping lowering or changing the time I take things#cause yknow. those things matter and I like to experiment to figure out whats best for me#this has nothing to do with the post#also they messed up my order again#i only got 180 books#bro theres 120 more#where are they#give me my books!!! please!!!!!!!1#I'll wait til tomorrow#its possible they just didnt fit on the truck. thats completely reasonable
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I think the most crushing autism experience is friends/romantic partners eventually figuring out youre masking bcz if you keep it up long enough its also off-putting & unnatural and then insisting you act like yourself- only to realize they in fact do not like your real self and make comments about how annoying/different youre acting all of a sudden. ❤️🧎♀️
#realest shit i ever said#anyway this has hapenned so many times that im convinced only 3-4 people actually can stand me. ❤️🙏#literally makes me sooooo mad too#‘’nooo youre not being yourself with me please ill accept you no matter what’’#no actually. you do not like me sadly 🙏🙏🙏#ughhhhh#i be in situations#this isnt a jab at myself i am so cool and funny#and trust im self aware enough to know the traits people dislike about me are fr harmless but could annoy someone easily.#so its not really mine or their fault#plus literally my brain just does not work like a neurotypical person#sorry i do not feel about things the way u do
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I was gonna post something about dreading how shit this week is going to be. But then I realized it's probably going to be shit until late January, so. Please pray for my blood pressure and health 😭
#im really scared icl 😭#also if i had to go through months of non stop political ads and texts and emails and anxiety and and and-#only for it to not end well. my fucking god.#aaaghhh it just fucking sucks election day really isnt a 'day'#its actually just. election year.#ive been consumed by it for probably at least half this year#but not only all that thats been going on#its gonna take days for them to count the ballots probably#and in that time theres gonna be like. 5 billion lawsuits. cause thats a thing apparently#and then all that shit is going to continue until what. January 20th?#no matter the result things are going to be chaotic i feel like#but truly i am desperately manifesting gaaaahhhh fuck im so done with all this#FREE ME PLEASE I JUST WANT TO BE FUCKING FREE#also fuck whichever guy put election day so close before thanksgiving and christmas#idk it all just really fucking sucks. this year hasn't been good for me#so i love that in addition to my already terrible baseline level of anxiety-#ive had another level piled on top of me#which can only possibly get worse 😭#id almost prefer the political ads in perpetuity rather than actually face tuesday and beyond#god. fuck this.#i feel like im gonna have to knock myself out and not go online on monday and tuesday at this rate#how am i even going to get myself to sleep when theres constantly eternal doom hanging over me#catie.rambling.txt
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Had. An extremely funny vision to revamp Moe's staff.
The design isn't super final, I can never really decide how I want the accents to look... trying to keep them in line with how the Askr trio's weapons look. Especially the signature color magic glow that's present in their special arts!!!
Anna has it too!!!!! You just don't see it bc her art gets cut off in game. Also, additional image bc you don't see the handle v well in her special.
Which is why, here, the green gem is most prominent on Moe's weapon.... geen....... idk if I'm keeping the other ones that look like the summoning circle orbs. It was just something I wanted to try out!
BUT. BUT. The Main Idea here is that Moe added its own touch to the staff. Yeah, the dangly halo was a Neat idea, but this concept is just so much funnier to me..... says SO much about Moe as a character... it is ALWAYS. Making and customizing things. I can also see Moe using the carabiner practically as well! Now, I wonder why it held onto those two feathers in particular... 🤔
#moe tag#actually if i canonize the idea that those are hero feathers from alfonse and sharena that's gonna fuck up the timeline.#like i'm gonna have to invent Lore. about it. but the two dangly spinny twirly feathers were ALWAYS a part of moe's Concept#like before it got simplified for ease of drawing moe had a dangly feather earring along the staff decorations#IDK IDK I'M WAY TOO METICULOUS. if i just draw two feathers please forgive me. i LOVE LORE#AND I LOVE. WHEN CHARAS ARE SENTIMENTAL. IN SILLY WAYS. GET ATTACHED TO EVERYTHING ‼️‼️‼️‼️#but like. sometimes it Is just for The Look of it.... i'm so sorry#ANY WHICH WAY. as i was drawing i had a strong vision. of changing up the halo to be something else#a dangly handmade charm. then i had the REALLY striking idea of making it a dreamcatcher. the FORESHADOWING.#and the Theming. of complex relationship w spirituality. but. i... ended up thinking better of it tbh.#like. asking myself okay how do i be respectful and honor this. then realizing hm.#maybe the only way to be respectful of this is to Not Do That. like. just feels in poor taste as a white guy no matter what.#but it DID get me Thinking. about what moe Likes to make anyway. what are the things that are significant to It.#AND THE. THE VISION. if anything it's appropriating butches here its ass is NOT BUTCH.#but no harm no foul. slap some more punk ass trinkets to that thang!!!!!! the practical use ALSO GETS ME THOUGH#like. moe IS practical. it likes its diys to be functional as well as fun. ect ect!!!!!#fe anna#HONESTLY. what if i only tagged her just to not clog up the tags and also that art is a good ref for later#just might.#summoner oc#my art#moe ref
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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[ closed ]
thanks for 6 wonderful years on caratblr! <3 you can follow my culture & arts sideblog @ghalghai if you're into that (or if you just want to stay in touch). love, madi
#i still love svt and i still consider myself a carat#but ive just become disillusioned with fandom culture to be honest#i want to enjoy the boys and their music quietly in my own time while focusing on my personal growth and things that really matter to me#i guess the best way to put it is i still want svt in my life but i don't want it to be such a big part of my life anymore#so yea !!#feel free to unfollow me by the way i have no intention of returning i won't take it personally#but also if i unfollow you please don't take it to heart. im very selective about who i follow so i genuinely love you and your blog#i just want to declutter my dashboard so im not tempted to come back to this blog#anyway !! thanks for all the good times here bye <3#wish you all the very very best only <3
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i have a weird relationship with weight because i hated eating more than anything the moment i was ready for solids ( i hate chewing with my entire life always have & will ) which made me underweight for most of my life ( to this day ) & during late primary-middle school this made me actively suicidal because i felt like something was wrong with my sex because i just was not developing whatsoever prompting me to have a years long phase of trying to gain weight in any way i could ( #EPICFAIL by the way ) & i was already insecure but i felt seriously so unforgivably ugly after bullying not just at school but by adults of my entourage. but then i did in my late 15s which prompted the pendulum to swing in the other direction & suddenly i FREAKED OUT & thought well being skinny is pretty much all i have & know myself to be & clearly it is not going to last forever so i Better preserve it i was delusional about how skinny i thought i was actually i look stumpy & weird i have to prove myself. But now i am normal again kind of
#also i used to get beaten to finish my food nearly daily & it would take me forever to do that like literally hours with no exaggeration#just made me hate eating even more. now my technique is eating as fast as possible before i even realize how overwhelming#the sensory experience is & i can just be done with it VS the pain&dread of eating slowly -> disgust of Everything+hyperawareness#eating tightens my muscles like i hate it so fucking much catching the food putting it in my mouth CHEWING swallowing#what a damn chore#so i always liked cheese it was my “safe food” pretty much the only thing i liked#i even hated the foods autists usually like like fries & fried chicken meatballs ETC. HATED.#i was/am more of a soup & turning all my food into varieties of Slop kind of girl nothing hard for me please...#i experienced middle school during the like ♯Thick era of the world which was honestly a good thing like for The Populace#but i felt like killing myself because i felt like an unforgivable fugly genetic failure & people did not hesitate to let me know#anyway either way i would be unhappy caus if i did gain weight during puberty i would have a meltdown about all the Changes#so i feel content for the time being about only losing the fat in my face & getting age appropriate wrinkles really#trying to enjoy the privilege of thinness while i have it because it will not last forever 0_0 but that should not matter anyway...#the privilege of thinness: being way uglier than others & constantly looking like a gibbon dying of disease + no energy or strength ever#JK people are much MUCH nicer to thin people & they do things for me on account of looking physically incapable so um yay i guess#light at the end of the tunnel that is very significant in the grand scheme of things socially. ♯CountingMyBlessings#also i was raised on ♯HAES tumblr from 2014-2018 i truly believed in that & was so damn envious i was not curvy & beautiful LOL#so i never hated overweight people really i think for the most part the SJW tumblr values stuck with me#but now i know it depends on your base frame & genetics & there is no guarantee to what you choose to do (naturally) acceptance is peace#sorry for the gigantic Arse post i just needed to get that off my chest for a long time. not on here specifically just in general#oh & i am a ♯Grignoteuse but grignoter (grazing) is different from eating in my mind&body#& my insecurity was not a result of wanting to fit in really but kind of in the sense that i wanted people to stop berating me for my looks#like body wise only & also not understanding why every other girl looked like a girl blossoming into a woman#& i looked like i was transitioning to Malnourished (unsexed) Ape made worse by bein GNC.& like the need for control later on & erthang ETC
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