#the only reason i even went into the shadow and bone tag was to find pekka rollins thirst...and it's not even here...unbelievable

[phantompanties]

🔞MINORS DNI🔞

A Classic Friday The 13th Type Story

Pairings: Incubus oc (lucius) x gn! Reader

Tags and warnings: cnc, sorta dubcon, predator x prey, big demon dick, tongue kink, no specified genitals, size kink, slight painplay (reader gets bit by a snake), aphrodisiacs, mindbreak if you squint, it gets sweet at the end

Everything seemed normal when you arrived at the lakeside for a little autumn getaway. Your family had a quaint little cabin you would go to now and then for a little vacation during the summer and fall, and this year you decided it would be a great idea to take your boyfriend to see where you spent so many years as a child. He was acting normal until you arrived at the woods just a couple of days ago. For some reason, he wasn’t as clingy as he usually was. He was more distant and jumpy. You’d ask him what the matter was, but he’d push you away and assure you nothing was wrong. You were worried, but nothing could have prepared you for what happened one evening by the bonfire when you returned from using the bathroom.

Lucius was gone. Completely gone. He wasn't in any of the rooms, not outside, not in the lake or by the bonfire, anywhere. This was concerning because at the very least he’d wait for you to return before he went anywhere. He never left you alone without telling you where he was going.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm the growing nerves. Perhaps he just went for a walk. Your cabin wasn’t too far from a campsite that had a little convenience store nearby… maybe he just went to get a snack or those little packets of chemicals that change the colour of your campfire. Surely that was the case, right? You sat down and waited for him to return.

And you waited...

And waited…

After around an hour of waiting your initial concern grew to worry. Where could he have gone? Sure, there were bears in these woods, but they tended to steer clear of the populated areas. But even in the event of an animal attack, Lucius was a demon! He was more than capable of protecting himself against a mere bear.

Sighing, you wrapped a blanket around yourself to protect yourself from the autumn night chill and grabbed a flashlight to find your boyfriend in the woods.

“Luci?” you asked in the darkness as you strolled along one of the hiking trails.

No response.

“Are you trying to scare me? Because if you are, this is a really mean way to do it.”

Silence.

“I mean it, Lucius! Knock it off! You’ve been acting weird the whole trip! Tell me what’s wrong!”

A sudden rustling in the underbrush startled you. 

“Hello?” you called out, pointing your flashlight where you heard the noise. Nothing.

“Mmm…” you hum. “It's just an animal or something…”

You only took a few steps when you felt an icy glare drilling into you from somewhere. The pressure made a violent shiver rush down your spine. You looked behind you, but nothing was there. Suddenly another rustle in the underbrush… to the left… no! The right! Panicked, you managed to drop the flashlight, which rolled behind you. You wanted to go and grab it, but the sight of your shadow made you pause. It had horns. Now, you’ve seen something like this before. Lucius did a similar trick when you first summoned him. However, back then, the shadow only had two tall horns sticking straight up. This one had an additional two curved horns sticking out from the sides.

“L-Luci…?” you meekly whimper. “Is that you…?”

A deep chuckle echoed from seemingly nowhere. Far too deep and multilayered to be your boyfriend.

“Such a confused little lamb…”

On your shadow where your face would be, a space that looked like an eye opened. Then another. And another and another one after the other, nine eyes in total on the face of your horned shadow. But it wasn’t your shadow for long, because it began growing taller and wider, far bigger than you or your boyfriend with nauseating bone cracks and growling. From the tips of its horns down, it materialized. An all-black beast with a face like a mask decorated with eyes, four tall glowing teal-tipped horns, a strong muscular build with limbs covered in unruly black fur, unguligrade legs with cloven hooves and frightening large hands tipped with razor-sharp claws. Behind him, was a black snake that seemed to be its tail. To top it all off, the beast had Lucius’s tattoos. 

Your knees buckled, trembling.

You opened your mouth to speak, but the beast didn’t give you any grace. He growled and lunged at you.

You screamed, narrowly jumping out of the way and forcing yourself onto your shaking legs to run.

You ran like a bat out of hell. Unfortunately for you though, the beast was fast. He gained on you in an instant, swiping with his sharp claws. You managed just barely to get grazed, but unfortunately, you weren’t looking where you were going. A stray tree root caught your foot and you tripped.

You cried out, preparing to smash your face on the forest floor, but you were caught with what felt like ropes around your limbs. Then you realized the beast had caught you with its tendril-like hair.

“N-no! Let me go!” you cried.

Roughly, the beast slammed you against a thick tree, still holding you with its hair tendrils. It’s nine eyes bore holes into you,

“You know better than to run from me, lamb.” the beast croons, caressing you with a large finger. “You’re too small to get very far.”

“P-please don’t kill me… I’ll do whatever you want!” you beg, tears filling your eyes. 

“Anything I want?” the beast asks, amused. “Be careful what you wish for…”

The beast’s rough hands pinned you to the tree, and you heard a deep rumble in his chest. Suddenly his face opened up from the chin, revealing a gaping maw of razor-sharp teeth and a long glowing blue tongue, much like your boyfriend’s. You tried to shriek when the beast shoved the enormous tentacle-like tongue into your mouth. Your eyes were wide as you felt his knee slot between your legs, and his large furry hands travel along your body. He hooked two of his fingers under your shirt, ripping the garment right off. You squealed, attempting to move your arms to cover up, but the beast just chuckled, keeping your wrists restrained.

The beast’s tongue left your mouth, trailing down your neck and chest, swirling around your pert nipple. “Relax, lamb… I won’t hurt you. I’ll make you feel good… so good…”

You felt something heavy and smooth slithering up your thigh and torso. When you looked down, you found it was the beast’s snake tail. The serpent slithered up your body, looping around your neck. You shivered in fear when the creature stared at you with its glowing blue eyes. Suddenly, it struck, sinking its fangs into your neck. You yelped at the sharp sting, gasping when you felt tingling in your lower body.

“Aphrodisiac venom…” the beast hums. “You’ll become insatiable for me, lamb…”

You bit your lip, grinding your hips on the beast’s thigh. You began to feel hot, far far too hot.

“Can you feel it, lamb? Can you feel the pleasure flowing through your veins? I can smell how aroused you are…”

“F-fuck…” you whimper. “Please…”

“You want me to fuck you, don’t you?” the demon whispered as his tongue trailed up your neck. “You crave to be marked by the sin of lust…”

“Y-yes!” you sob. “I-I can’t take it!”

The beast grabbed you by the waist, turning you around on your toes so your back was against his broad chest. He then tugged down your bottoms, baring your throbbing sex to the cold night air. A deep purr rumbled through the beast’s chest as he then lifted you effortlessly with his large hands, manhandling you into a full nelson. You froze when you finally bore witness to what was between the beast’s legs. Sweet lord, it was huge, blue and most of all inhuman.

“I-is that… going to fit…?” you gulped.

“Relax, lamb… with my venom flowing in your veins, you’ll be able to take all of me no problem…” the beast purred. “Now then… I’m going to stuff you full and fuck you until you break…”

You gasped as you were slowly lowered onto the beast’s enormous shaft, eyes rolling back as the stretch burned and hit every spot in your aching walls. You cried out as you felt so full, the way his cock nestled inside you, molding you to his form made you dizzy.

“So tight… so hot…” The beast growled. The beast held tightly onto your thighs as he began thrusting up into you. Slowly at first, but quickly setting a brutal pace.

The feeling of this enormous demon using you as a fuck toy was unlike anything you’ve ever felt. Helplessly you watched as his large cock created a bulge in your lower belly, sliding up and down while he used you. You cried out as his hot tongue slid down your neck.

“Give in to lust, lamb…” The beast crooned. “Let your mind break as I use you… fill you to the brim…”

“F-fuck!” you wail. Tears spilled from your eyes as the beast slipped his long tentacle-like tongue down your body and played with your sex. The added stimulation sends shockwaves of pleasure through your body. You couldn’t take it anymore. You came hard.

“Good… let it take over your mind, lamb… let your inhibitions melt away.”

As you were recovering from your first orgasm, the beast switched positions, making you kneel face down in the dirt with your ass in the air. His cock never left your abused hole.

“Tell me what you want, lamb…”

“F-fuck me, please!” you wailed. “Fuck me more! Please, I can take it!”

The beast growled approvingly, gripping your hips and pistoning into you roughly.

You gripped the grass below you, nearly ripping it from the dirt as the demon fucked into you from behind. You just came moments before, but you could feel another building up almost instantly. Fuck, that aphrodisiac was WORKING. You mewled and whined, tears spilling from your eyes. “Gonna cum… g-gonna cum…!”

“Lose yourself, lamb… lose yourself to lust.” the beast purred, ramming into you harder than before. You cried as stars flooded your vision. You came once more, even harder.

The beast growled, roaring into the darkness as he buried his cock into your poor hole and unloaded his demonic seed to the point where it spilled out.

You groaned, feeling sticky and sore, but oh so good. You panted heavily, thoroughly fucked out on the forest floor.

Lucius removed himself from you, shifting back into his normal, more lithe self. 

“You did so well, darling.” his usual smooth voice crooned as he gently picked you up in his arms, holding you sweetly. What a beautiful performance. I’d give you all of the awards If I could.”

“Was… was I that good…?” you say breathlessly as your boyfriend kisses your head. 

“Absolutely perfect. I was almost worried there, to be honest. The snake bite doesn’t hurt too much, does it? The venom should have worn off by now.”

“It’s fine.” you giggle. “I don’t think I’m gonna be able to walk for a while though…”

“Then I’ll carry you back to the cabin, where I’ll dress your wounds and run you a nice hot bath,” Lucius says, holding you in a princess carry.

“We should roleplay more often.” you giggle.

“Oh, absolutely, love. I can’t wait to see another one of your performances.”

[sukisheadlights]

WE'LL MAKE IT!

kazbrekker x grisha!oc

summary: when the coin- "I hate kaz brekker" grisha reveals how she truly feels for kaz brekker in the midst of a deal gone wrong, becomes when kaz brekker gets nervous.

story: grishaverse masterlist

rory’s voice mail 🎧: story <333 I really love writing for the grishaverse so let me know if you want some sort of kaz brekker x oc series, and give me ideas :) for now, enjoy! I love you say it back <3

and ofcourse, @chaos-mix I did not forget your tag :)

WARNING MAJOR ANGST AHEAD

Ilysen (ill-e-s-in) has always been considered a powerful squaller. She grew confined within the walls of the little palace, her beautiful cage. So naturally, when she escaped and went to ketterdam for solace (a bad idea on her part, truthfully), nobody expected her to survive it's gruelling streets.

But you know what they say, those who have tasted freedom will not give up that which they have tasted.

Ilysen walked into the barrel— doe eyed with bright light blue hair and the personality of a puppy. Quickly though, the barrel toughened her up— and her blue hair only became the shell of a person she once was. She earned a new name, 'The slyph of ketterdam' A beautiful creature that will manipulate the air at the comand of the smallest bone in her body. She will swipe you off your feet, and knock the air out of your lungs. Ilysen became a force to be reckoned with and she worked for no one. Kaz Brekker took notice of this, He took notice of it all.

He set his wraith on her tail and found out her secrets. Then, he tried asking her nicely to work with him, he tried getting jesper to charm her, he even he got his wraith to befriend her. But she only listened and agreed when he threatened her. When he threated to send her back to the cage she once escaped from.

Cruel, I know. So did she, this was the life she chose and kaz brekker and his antics were slightly respectable but no one would know that last part. Instead they would know the slyph that hated his soul, bones, and questionable fashion choices. They would come to know her as unreliable and the untried, theortical lose string whose loyalties could change at any given moment.

Nobody knew why she worked so closely with the Dregs. Not even the trusted sharpshooter and wraith could get get that out of her. Sometimes, kaz brekker found himself staring at his office wall not quiet knowing the answer himself. But he knew she wouldn't betray her only friends in the barrel. He knew that she only stayed because of inej and jesper. She had no other reason. Right?

One faithful night, when the barrel was as quiet as usual with it's citizens hiding in their houses and criminals lurking in it's shadows, the unofficial crows— atleast half of them, found themselves at the harbour for a deal.

They watched closely as the other party's leader approached kaz, really getting into his personal space hoping it intimidated the bastard infront of him. They watched as Kaz hit him with his trusty cane, And continued as both the bosses succesfully reached an impasse.

Until suddenly, they ran. Down the street and under the harbour's bridges, into the dimly lit caves— they hid. Those idiots had broken their conditions and brought out weapons, gunshots ringing through the harbour as the slyph struggled to save their lives, Kaz couldn't believe he let this slip past. For the first time, he felt stupid. He looked around the dimly lit underground cave as he thought of ways to save the lives of his band of teenage misfits.

Perhaps if he was faster, they would have missed the explosion above their heads. Perhaps then, Ilysen wouldn't have had to use her powers to hold up the ceiling above their head and instead hold open the only exit which was now burried under the rubble. Kaz worked quickly to try find a way out of the underground cave, but something felt wrong.

Ilysen, who would typically be complaining her lungs out right about now, was silent. A still, unmoving, shell of the noisy companion kaz had gotten used to. her hands remained raised up above her head as she held the roof up, scared to move even by an inch. The room was quiet as Kaz searched for a way out while encouraging the others to do the same. Another explosion. Those two-timing bastards were set on bathing in young blood but there was no time to complain now, only escape.

"I don't hate you." the words rung of the walls of the cave and pierced striaght through kaz brekker's heart as he turned around, Ilysen was looking straight at him now. "If we don't make it out of here—" She said as a shaky breath escaped her lips "—I just need you to know that I don't hate you."

A ringing explosion was the only sound that broke the silence between them.

"We're not dying today." He said, certain that if he couldn't save them, the fates would protect them all because she didn't deserve to die yet. She looked away as she struggled to hold up the ceiling distracting herself from the growing weakness in her arms and her chest. She knew what she had to do. But would she? "Ilysen, look at me." Kaz urged, hating himself for not being able to physically comfort her. She obliged.

"We're not dying today." He said as confidently as he could. His voice wavered somewhere, but he knew if anyone noticed it would only be her. He continued ignoring the pang of guilt in his chest, promising things he wasn't sure of. "I promise you."

Ilysen nodded, She would do anything for them. With steadying breaths she changed the directions of her arms.

In one swift movement, she raised the previously blocked entrance and pushed the crows outside, saving their lives. Unfortunately for her, the ceiling she once held up came crashing down. Only the saints could do something now.

Jesper, Inej, And Kaz stood still. The realisation of what unfolded weighing onto them heavier than the deafening silence of the vast ocean behind them.

They searched the rubble for her all night, not scared of what they might find. Kaz called in all the dregs as they lifted up large rocks in silence, secretly praying for the survival of their slyph. They found her body at the crack of dawn, A single ray lighting up her almost still body. Almost. She laid on the floor, a doll— but there was a faint rise and fall of her chest. There was hope for her survival. Kaz would never admit it but he owed her his life.

Even if she happened to remain in this unconcious state for the rest of her life, kaz would take care of her. He would never admit it, but he was grateful for her. And maybe one day, He could tell her that.

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Outing with Rosie and Alastor, where the avowed purpose is merely Shopping around Pride

They come back eight hours later laughing lightly, covered in blood, a few bones retreating back through the skin as they heal and arms filled with bags.

By which, of course, I mean the arms of a shell-shocked Husker who is also drenched and looking like he's mid war flashback. Niffty popping out of one of the bags atop the heap, waving at the others in the Hazbin Hotel foyer and gesturing at her pretty new dress!

As the doors swing open there's the sound of more panicked screaming, explosions and generalised terror than usual.

"Uhhhh... have a good time, guys?" Charlie asks, diplomatically.

"Oh, it was quite the jaunt Charlie, you really should come along next time with your lovely little lady!"

"Yes, Charlotte, you and Vagatha should come next time. Perhaps you might even find joining in a little game of Knife Tag quite stimulating, hmmm?"

Husk, hands shaking as he lights a cigar makes pointed eye contact and shakes his head.

"Aha, maybe next time then!" she declines, taking the hint.

"Speak for yaself toots, tell me more about this murder slash shopping spree cause it sounds like exactly the sorta thing Cherri and I enjoy doing. There any limits on the amounta limbs you can use in Knife Tag...?" Angel asks.

Twin cannibalistic overlords turn their genuine delight in the direction of the pornstar.

'Why Angel, of course not! If Al gets to use his shadows, and I am allowed to use my blood magic, I can't see any reason you wouldn't be allowed the... upper hands!" Rosie bursts into laughter, and Alastor chimes in as well. The cacophany reminding everyone that sometimes power corrupts, but it also sends you a little 'round the bend too.

"Alright, count me in next time ya gonna play, I'll grab Cherri... sounds like a damn good time."

"Splendid my good man, you won't regret it! And of course, as the new player, it will be your choice of the final victim... and I believe we can safely say that Rosie and I will be happy to take on any... specific insignificant little insectoids... between us. It's only good manners, after all."

"...Husk, I'm about ta fuck ya boss and his bestie. You might wanna look away."

"Okaay, how about we try some deep breathing exercises and calm down..." Charlie intervenes, half delighted at the budding friendships around here but also caught up on whatever the fuck Knife Tag is and who is howling outside. "Let's go to our happy places..."

"Oh I'll get all up in ya happy places if you'll let me..." Angel grins, winking suggestively at the cannibal overlords. He doesn't normally do broads, but well... for removing Valentino, he'd marry Rosie on the spot.

"Well, dear, it's not as if we're opposed to the idea of a mouthful of Sinner meat..." Rosie chortles, and Al side-eyes her with a grin. These two should not be left unsupervised together.

Charlie's shoulders slump. "Husk... I think I need a drink."

"Me too, Princess. Me too."

"Dontcha worrie Whiskers, Toots, I got this all in hand. Or at least, I will in a minute."

"GET OUT OF THE FOYER WITH YOUR NASTINESS!" Vaggie yells, waving the spear. Soemtimes these Sinners were EXHAUSTING.

Angel narrows his eyes at her. "You still mad I was gonna make you an' charlie pay for the full experience, huh?"

"...uuuuuuuuuuuurrrrgh, Charlie why didn't you choose a less mouthy sinner for your redemption projeeeeeeeect..." she groaned, slumping over to the bar.

"Nah. I know ya love me, Vagina..."

"Charlie can I kill him...? Please?"

"Hah, I knew ya were into pegging. Always talkin' about impaling a guy like I can't zero in on your kinks..."

Lucifer, one foot in the door, pauses. "Did I walk in at a weird time? This feels like a strange conversation to have in the foyer."

"Oh, hey Dad... Rosie and Al just went out for some shopping and something called 'Knife Tag' and when they were telling us about it, they invited me to play but I said no so then Angel said he'd like to maybe with Cherri and they said he could ask them to kill The Guy he's stuck with and then Angel said he was going to... uh... do various things that I'm not talking to my dad about and-..."

"Char? BREATHE." Vaggie reminds.

Lucifer's eyes narrow as he mouths the words 'knife tag', and then pushes the door back open to look outside.

"Is THAT what happened out there? What the FUCK kind of game is Knife Tag to do..." he gestures, as a building explodes in fiery debris. "THAT?!"

"Never you mind, your Lowness, it was merely a bit of fun to pass the time. Though if you want to try your hand sometime, we can oblige..."

"Not before my turn, though." Angel reminds them, buzzing with excitement and texting Cherri about it right that second. She was on her way.

"We would not dream of it, my effeminate fellow, you will bring an interesting element to the match as, I'm certain, will your little explosives-loving friend... Miss Bomb, was it?"

"Hells yeah she will! Can't wait... when you wanna do it?"

"Well my schedule's free tomoorow after midday, if you had time to pencil it in Angel. I think it's important to make time for a little relaxation and murder now and then." Rosie adds, glancing in a pocket book that seemed to match her attire.

"Oh, yeah I can fit that in..." he pauses, holding in a That's what He Said with every fibre of his being, "But I meant, ya wanna go get wild in another way? I got space before my shoot tomorrow morning, and Cherri's on her way to spice things up, so..."

Lucifer sits down at the bar. "I will take whatever you have, immediately, that will deafen me on consumption."

"Make that two."

Husk starts mixing something with an alchemical flair immediately. "One Deadman's Switch coming right up for everyone... you'll sleep right through anything that might happen in the next twelve hours. Promise."

"...Huck was it? You ever been kissed by the Devil, cause I think you've earned it!" Lucifer said gravely, full of sincere thanks.

"You uh... you got something that'll blind me temporarily too?" Charlie laughs, only half-joking.

Cherri slams open the door with the subtlety of a grenade in a toilet bowl. "Wassup mates, I'm here to fuck and fuck shit up!"

Husk pours the drinks a little faster.

[cabinofimagines]

Chapter IV; convincing

So it took a while, but at some point I realised I wanted to finish writing at least arc one before posting the rest so oops.

Word Count: 1.2k

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-Asnyox

You both re-entered the clearing, followed closely by an overly excited Mrs. O’Leary. 

"No problem, I've got worse enemies than overweight satyrs." You overheard Percy saying. Nico was the first of you two to speak up, letting your presence be known to the demigod and tree nymph. 

"Good job, Percy. Judging from the trail of goat pellets, I'd say you shook him up pretty well." You could see clearly that Percy was nervous as he tried to smile. You were aware that Nico had made it pretty clear to Percy what his plan was, and if you were in this kid’s shoes you would have been nervous too. Luckily, you were just an idiot tagging along in the plan.

"Welcome back. Did you come by just to see Juniper? And who is your friend?" Nico blushed and you wondered whether it was about the friend thing, or about Juniper.

"This is (Y/n), and um, no. That was an accident. I kind of . . . dropped into the middle of their conversation." Blushing out of embarrassment then, you inwardly cheered. He also did not deny the friend comment you happily noted.

"He scared us to death!" Juniper said. "Right out of the shadows. But, Nico, you are the son of Hades and all. Are you sure you haven't heard anything about Grover?" Nico shifted his weight. Ah, she must have been crying worried over her lover. You had caught some of the stories around camp, however you did not know any of these people personally, so you tended to mind your own business. 

"Juniper, like I tried to tell you . . . even if Grover died, he would reincarnate into something else in nature. I can't sense things like that, only mortal souls." "But if you do hear anything?" she pleaded, putting her hand on his arm. "Anything at all?" Nico's cheeks got even brighter red. "Uh, you bet. I'll keep my ears open." 

"We'll find him, Juniper," Percy promised. "Grover's alive, I'm sure. There must be a simple reason why he hasn't contacted us." She nodded glumly. "I hate not being able to leave the forest. He could be anywhere, and I'm stuck here waiting. Oh, if that silly goat has gotten himself hurt—" Mrs. O'Leary bounded back over and took an interest in Juniper's dress. Juniper yelped. "Oh, no you don't! I know about dogs and trees. I'm gone!" She went poof into green mist. You gaped at her disappearance, never having gotten close to a tree nymph before. 

Mrs. O'Leary looked disappointed, but she lumbered off to find another target, leaving Nico, Percy and me alone. Nico tapped his sword on the ground. A tiny mound of animal bones erupted from the dirt. They knit themselves together into a skeletal field mouse and scampered off. You were impressed by his control, but truly you felt as if this shouldn’t have come as a surprise. 

"I was sorry to hear about Beckendorf." Nico said and you downcast your gaze, having heard the news quiet recently. This was one of the first people from camp that you knew who died, and the news had taken a toll on camp. 

"How did you—" Percy started, and you were reminded that he was there with Beckendorf on the ship. "I talked to his ghost." So the rumours about Nico’s powers were true – he could actually converse with the dead. "Oh . . . right." "Did he say anything?" 

"He doesn't blame you. He figured you'd be beating yourself up, and he said you shouldn't." "Is he going to try for rebirth?" Nico shook his head. 

"He's staying in Elysium. Said he's waiting for someone. Not sure what he meant, but he seems okay with death." You weren’t sure how to feel about these developments, but before you could give it much thought Percy started talking again.

"I had a vision you were on Mount Tarn," he told Nico. "Was that—" 

"Real," Nico said. "I didn't mean to be spying on the Titans, but I was in the neighbourhood." "Doing what?" 

Nico tugged at his sword belt. "Following a lead on . . . you know, my family." Percy nodded. You side eyed your friend, wanting the ask for an elaboration. However, you had felt him close the moment Percy started asking questions to him. You had heard a whisper about a sister, but there was nothing you could go off from. Nico was a mystery to you and you wished you could unravel it. 

"So how did it go?" Percy asked. "Any luck?" 

"No," he murmured. "But I may have a new lead soon." 

"What's the lead?" 

Nico chewed his lip. "That's not important right now. You know why I'm here." You saw Percy’s face fall. You knew Nico wanted you to help convince Percy, but you had barely exchanged a word with the son of Poseidon before. What were you supposed to do? Tell him you would safe him from being stabbed? 

"Nico, I don't know," Percy said. "It seems pretty extreme." 

"You've got Typhon coming in, what . . . a week? Most of the other Titans are unleashed now and on Kronos's side. Maybe it's time to think extreme." Nico looked towards you as to urge you to help him. You stepped forward. 

“If I may, Percy, “ you looked the son of Poseidon in the eye, surprised by the distrust in them, “I’ve been at camp since April – if Nico hadn’t brought me here I would have been dead and I know that even with how hard I – we – camp has been working,” you heard sounds of fighting in the distance, “I fear we are hardly a match for the Titan army.” Nico nodded in agreement. 

“This comes down to you and Luke. And there's only one way you can beat Luke We can give you the same power," Nico urged. "You heard the Great Prophecy. Unless you want to have your soul reaped by a cursed blade . . ." You hadn’t heard the prophecy fully yourself – around camp it was deemed a kind off taboo to mention or talk about.

“You can't prevent a prophecy," Percy said. 

"But you can fight it." Nico had a strange, hungry light m his eyes. "You can become invincible." 

"Maybe we should wait. Try to fight without—" 

"No!" Nico snarled. "It has to be now!" You were startled at his outburst – but you did agree with him. 

"Urn, you sure you're okay?" Percy asked and you threw him a wary look. 

“Percy, look,” you started as you noticed Nico taking a deep breath, “It will be significantly harder, maybe even impossible to take this journey when the fighting starts. Maybe even too late- if you want to prevent any more losses, deaths on our side you must go now.”

“I'm sorry if I'm being too pushy,” Nico’s gaze was strict towards Percy, “but two years ago my sister gave her life to protect you. I want you to honour that. Do whatever it takes to stay alive and defeat Kronos”

"All right," Percy decided. "What do we do first?"

[clairecrive]

Hi could we please get a really angsty fic with nikolai (with a happy ending pls) where reader and he has had a fight so they maintain the facade on the outside bc they're royals but in private it's just ignoring each other/angst?

Young Royals

A/N: ahh, this is angsty alright but it seems I'm only capable of writing hurt/comfort lately. This took a life of its own and it's long af but I hope you like it anyway x

Warnings: miscommunication, angst, fighting, hurt/comfort, Nikolai is a bit absent, you're a bit jealous of his relationship with Zoya

Tags: @jupiterandbutterflies, @agentsofsheilds , @for-bebbanburg , @randomoutsiders , @pansysgirlfriend , @hannaxmaria , @vintagebitc , @story-scribbler , @crowssixof , @odetostep,@lizzie-he4rts, @korol-lantsov, @subjecta13-thefangirl, @gallysonegoodlung, @a-c-lee, @mriddlemethis, @carnationworld,@thanossexual, @luvxginger, @sanna2020,@partiesandblurrypolaroids, @edithsvoice, @wafflesandschemingfaces (tag list form)

SHADOW AND BONE MASTERLIST

"Do not put words into my mouth, Nikolai."

"Please, you already have so many, my love," he scoffed and the use of the term of endearment hurt the most.

"You're making me sound like a brat while I'm providing you with a viable solution," you insisted with a flare of your hands, frustrated by his unwillingness to listen to you.

"No, you're not. What you're doing is being childish."

"I'm your queen, Nikolai. I'm only asking to be more involved."

"You're my wife, y/n, and you know nothing about politics or running a country." He retired, putting emphasis on wife. This felt a lot like being put into place. And the fact that it was your husband doing so, hurt. It was also the most you had seen him this week.

"Neither did Zoya, nor Genya or anyone who's currently running the country."

"That's different and you know it."

"Only because you're making it so," you exclaimed finally exploding. His despondency got on your nerves and this conversation was going nowhere anyway.

Surprised by your raise of voice, Nikolai stood before you just blinking at you.

Sighing, you took a step toward him, holding your hands up, "look, you're right, I don't know about running a country but teach me. I'm not stupid, I'll pick it up."

"Why are you insisting so much? You've never shown any interest in politics before." He gave you a puzzled look like he didn't really believe your intentions.

"I've never wanted to be queen before." before meeting you.

"Ah, I see," he chuckled mirthlessly, "I put you in this situation and now you're taking your revenge."

To insinuate that your marriage with him was you "being put into a situation" rather than a consensual decision you had made out of love was absurd.

Nikolai was right. You had never cared about politics or diplomacy before meeting him. You were a soldier. There was no reason for you to meddle with something that didn't concern you.

But now you were queen and you felt a responsibility towards your people. You wanted to help but so far, Nikolai hadn't allowed you to take part in any meetings. He said that anyone who needed to be there was already involved. What he didn't tell you was that while Grisha made excellent soldiers and even good councillors, one of them being a royal was a very different matter.

He had indulged his love for you by marrying you. You were his vice and he simply couldn't accept the idea of being without you anymore. He had married you, consequently making you queen, going against what his advisors told him.

While he ignored his warnings he was painfully aware, however, how difficult it was going to be for a Grisha on the throne. It was the first time something liked this had ever happened and unfortunately, the country was filled with people who resented Grisha for their powers.

Nikolai feared that the people were never going to accept you. Hence why he'd been keeping you secluded in the palace.

To be fair, you were doing a wonderful job. Like he had pointed out, you were not accustomed to politics but you made up for that with empathy and kindness. You started to interest yourself with the problem of poverty and lack of provisions for some parts of the country.

And while no one was aware of it, Nikolai often turned to you for military strategy. You were an apt soldier and had fought bravely alongside him and everyone else in the battle of the Fold. You were the very reason why he was still alive, to be honest.

While this arrangement worked for the first months of your reign, it was starting to feel an inadequate effort. You needed to do more, you wanted to do more. You didn't expect Nikolai to oppose it so vehemently.

"If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't be, Nikolai, you'd do well to remember it," you pointed out coldly, straightening your spine.

"Since you seem so adverse at spending time with me or including me in important matters, I'll find someone else who will." And with that, chin held high, you walked out of the room.

You missed him. It felt absurd to say this but you missed your husband. He was always busy with meetings or official visits to some noble across the country. For most of them, he went alone or with Zoya.

You knew that she was his first in command but you couldn't help but be bothered by it. It was one thing to accept the fact that he hadn't given the role to you "because the queen cannot have that role as well", it was a whole other thing to accept the fact that another woman spent more time with your husband than you did.

Countless were the fights you had with him in this regard. But they were pointless. Nikolai was still set on not bringing you and he and Zoya were always found together.

You didn't know what hurt more. The blow at your pride for being denied a position you deserved because of who you loved, the jealousy or being punished for your identity.

One thing was sure though, it was getting too much. At first, you pulled thought for Nikolai but now that you didn't have him anymore, your efforts seemed to be in vain.

So, like you had told Nikolai, you looked for someone who was willing to teach you. You wanted to help and if Nikolai wasn't going to let you here at the palace, then you'd find somewhere else.

Count Kirigin had always been nice to you and he was a very generous host. You knew that he played a central role in Nikolai's plan so you thought that there was no one better than him.

You reached out to him, wrote him a letter in which you showed interest in his activity and asked him if he was willing to show you. Of course, anything that came from the queen or the king couldn't be denied but you knew that the Count truly enjoyed your company. If your position didn't put so much higher than everybody else, you'd even consider him a friend.

You waited for his reply before putting in motion the preparations for your departure.

In the meantime, you and Nikolai kept conducting your separate lives. Usually, you'd only see him at night when he returned to your chambers if you were still up. Now, you had decided to sleep in separate rooms too.

If he wanted a wife, then a wife he'd get. But kings and queens do not sleep together.

If the new arrangement was bothering him, you didn't know. He hadn't reached out to you nor made any move to rectify your decision.

Turns out that he wasn't even at the Palace. He had left for a mission near the border with Shu Han and wouldn't be back for at least a week. Well, then. Of course, he didn't even bother with telling you. Not even a small note.

Jokes on him though, you thought, since when he was going to come back, he'd finally get what he wanted. You weren't going to be there to bother him anymore.

Differently from him though, you did indeed left him a note. Nikolai found it a week after you had set it on his pillow. Its presence made him furrow his eyebrows since he had already been wondering where you were. You usually came out to meet him at the gates whenever he'd come back from a mission and even though you had fought before he went away, you weren't one for holding grudges. So e guessed there was something holding you.

Unfolding the paper he was met with your familiar chaotic writing.

"I don't know when you're going to find this letter but if I'm not there yet it means that I'm still at Count Kirigin's. Do not bother with writing or visiting, I'll come back when my business with him is done.

Y/n"

What in the name of every sweet loving saint???

The letter wasn't dated, no dear, no yours no nothing. Fuck. You were still mad or worse, hurt.

Asking one of the servants, he learned that you had been away for a week already. But what business could you possibly have with the Count??

Nikolai had nothing against him. Seeing Kirigin get all flustered as he tried to flirt with Zoya amused him to no end but the idea of him and you in the same house? Alone?? Unacceptable.

Not even bothering to change clothes after his long journey, Nikolai headed to the stables to ask for a well-rested horse. Luckily, Count Kirigin's estate was not too far away. A couple of hours ride.

Turns out that the Count had a lot to teach. Despite his aloof reputation and extravagant clothes, he was very observant. He lacked ambition, which was why Nikolai trusted him and had a curious way of behaving in social situations.

But Emil had been born and raised in high society. He knew how things were run even if he had no desire to be in charge of them.

So far, you'd be having a wonderful time. Emil was a wonderful host, as you remembered, but without Nikolai's presence, he was even more extravagant. He had an unexpectedly dry sense of humour and a never-ending list of jokes.

Being in the open and in the company of someone who saw y/n instead of the Queen of Ravka proved to be even more needed than you thought. You felt reinvigorated and much lighter than you'd ever been.

You had also been learning a lot. Emil had been teaching you about diplomacy. About the best ways of formulating a sentence so that you wouldn't offend anyone but still get what you wanted. He had also been talking to you about your husband's ministers. About their weaknesses and vices and what was the best way to approach them to get what you wanted.

So far, it was proving to be a wonderful decision to come here.

Whenever your mind strayed on Nikolai, you willed it to focus on something else. You didn't know if he had already come home or seen the letter. A part of you thought that if he had, he would at least write one back. But the thought felt a lot like hope and seeing as how little he saw you even before you left, you didn't think it safe to harbour it.

When Nikolai reached the estate, he was met with Kirigin's servants. They welcomed him inside and profusely apologised for the Count's absence. They told him that at this time of the day, Kirigin and his guest would usually go out on a ride but that they were also about to return.

So Nikolai waited, sitting in the most comfortable chair the Count owned, fuming at the thought that his wife had felt the need to go away and be in the company of another man.

"If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be Nikolai. You'd do well to remember it."

Your words haunted him. They were the last thing that you told him. How stupid had he been to let you walk away. How utterly careless of him to disregard you like that.

He had promised himself to truly talk to you about it once this pressing matter of state was taken care of. Apparently, he had waited too long.

But Nikolai knew that the problem was at the source. He noticed how hurt you had been when he made Zoya his first in command. Or how sad you seemed everywhere he went somewhere with her and didn't ask you to join.

He was doing so to protect you from the inevitable slander you'd be met with. He should have known though that putting you aside was going to be even worse. You were a fighter just as much as Zoya was, if not stronger.

She hid behind her veil of indifference and superiority while you had never lost that emphatic verve that made everyone love you so much. In his attempt to make you safe, he had only managed to hurt you.

You were a warrior. You had accepted the role of queen only because it was the only way for you to be with Nikolai. And instead of praising you by making you a warrior queen, he had decided to hide you away.

Well, no more.

If his mistakes had not ruined everything already, he was going to make everything better.

Lost in his musing, he didn't hear the sound of hooves approaching but he did indeed hear your laugh. It immediately brought him back to the present and a wave of ugly jealousy hit him.

He couldn't remember the last time he made you laugh.

"I shouldn't even laugh Emil, the joke was terrible," Nikolai hear you giggling from somewhere in the hall. So now he was Emil, huh.

"You know you can't resist my charm, your highness," Emil replied and Nikolai had to call on every bit of his self-control to not barge out of the room and punch him.

"Stop it, you know you can call me y/n."

Before Emil could reply, they had both made it to the sitting room where Nikolai was waiting for them. It looked like no one had warned them of his presence because Kirigin looked surprised then utterly mortified.

"Your majesty, I wasn't aware you were here. Please forgive me for making you wait."

"Don't fret Kirigin, it was an impromptu visit. I came to see how my lovely wife was doing." No matter how green he was feeling right now, he knew that Kirigin was loyal to him and the crown. Whatever was happening here wasn't one of his schemes.

"Of course! I'm going to send for some tea while you two get reunited." Kirigin quickly bowed before hurrying out of the room.

Nikolai met your eyes for the first time since you had arrived. If at first, you were surprised to see him, now you couldn't help but be a bit sceptical about this visit.

"What are you doing here?" you asked breaking the ice.

"You leave with only a few lines on where you're going and you expect me to just accept it?" He scoffed, his hands curling on the armrests of the chair.

"It's more than what you gave me," you quipped, crossing your arms on your chest.

Nikolai sighed while his gloved hands run through his hair. You were right and he knew it. He had been a horrible husband lately.

"I know you're mad at me, honey, but listen-"

"I'm not mad. You didn't want to give me what I wanted so I went looking for it somewhere else." Scrolling your shoulders, you interrupted him without meeting his eyes. A list of excuses was not what you wanted nor what you needed from him.

Nikolai didn't miss the innuendo. His jaw clenched, his hands closed in fists. But he willed himself to stay calm.

"You think Kirigin can give you something that I can't?" Nikolai was a master in diplomacy. Never did he get frustrated or angry or raised his voice, even with the most aggravating people. Here though, with you, he didn't have to keep a façade. He spoke through his teeth barely containing his anger.

"Well, so far, he's been giving me attention and interesting pointers that no, Nikolai, you refused to give me."

"So this is how you solve your problems? Running away in the countryside with Emil?" Nikolai sneered, his tone souring around Kirigin's name.

"Don't you do the same with your precious first in command?" Tired after your ride with Emil, you plopped down on the chair in front of Nikolai's. Completely ignoring his tone, you pointed out calmly. The perfect image of aloofness even when it was the last thing you were in this moment.

"That's different," he snapped trying to meet your eyes that were carefully analyzing your hands.

"Yes," you signed, "it seems that when I'm concerned everything is different."

"There's nothing between me and Zoya, y/n and you know it." Nikolai was getting more frustrated by the second. He came here to apologize, to make things right and so far, the conversation was going in the opposite directions.

"Maybe now, but you spend more time with her than you do with me. It's only a matter of time before it happens and you're sorely mistaken if you think I'll just stand by and watch."

"This is not about Zoya," he insisted but so far, he wasn't getting the reaction out of you he wanted. You seemed... resigned at the situation. And that worried Nikolai to no end.

"It never is."

"Why did you run away?" Opting for a more direct approach, he bit the bullet and went straight to the point.

"I did not run away," you scoffed in contempt at his choice of words, "I told you I wanted to do more and Emil is teaching me. Not everyone is so against spending time with me, you know." You shot him a glance.

It was the first time that you had looked at him since you had been left alone.

"I married you, y/n. How can you possibly believe I don't want to spend time with you?" As desperation slipped through his words, Nikolai leaned towards you in his seat. As if he couldn't bear the distance between you anymore. But you knew it wasn't that. You and he had been distant for months now.

"Because that's what's happening, Nikolai," you clipped back and Nikolai had to refrain from wincing at your tone.

"It's not intentional, my love, I've just been busy." His tone softened. It was a poor excuse of an apology but it was sadly the truth.

"But when I say that I want to join or help you with it you strongly oppose?" Again, there was that suspicious implication in your words that Nikolai just couldn't stand. To think that you believed he'd ever cheat on you with another woman when he had done so much, taken so many risks, to be with you.

"It's not what you think, y/n." He insisted again but immediately realized he had said the wrong thing when he saw you leaning back into your chair shaking your head.

"I don't think anything, anymore. Do whatever you want. You do your thing and I'll do mine. I won't be a bother to you anymore." Holding up your hands, you gestured as you spoke.

A beat. Nikolai froze in his seat at what you were suggesting.

"You're never a bother to me. Never." He leaned even forwards in his chair, basically only propping on it now. The desperation was now clear in his voice. He reached out to you to try and take hold of your hands but you were too distant.

"I love you more than anything in this world and if you think that I'm going to let you go without a fight, you're sorely mistaken." The steel determination of his words caught you off guard. Nikolai was strong-headed, you knew that better than anyone else, but it had been a long while since that determination had been directed to you.

"You already did." It was barely a whisper. The sad truth about your reality, the downfall of your relationship. The wavering of your voice, the pain in your eyes were enough to tip Nikolai off the edge.

"Milaya, please."He fell onto his knees in front of you. Leaning forward he reached for your hands that he could now hold. "I'm sorry. I put you in a difficult position when I married you and I tried my best to protect you."

"I don't need protecting, Nikolai, especially if it's by pushing me away."

"I was keeping you away from danger and I know that you're strong and capable but I hate to think of you as the object of public slander." His eyes darted between yours, frantic, desperate to make you understand.

"I'm Grisha, Nikolai. It's nothing new to me," you pointed out but then it hit you.

"By difficult position, you meant a Grisha Queen, didn't you?" Your eyes hardened at the implications, your hands going slack in his hold. You would have pulled them away if Nikolai didn't tighten his hold.

"Please, do not think I'm regretting my choice or I think you're not worthy of the title because that's not true." Pulling your hands, he tried to get you closer to him. "I fear that there will be repercussions among the people." And there it was, at last, the truth.

"And among your ministers," you added remembering Emil's lessons on the people at court and their role.

You scoffed when he stayed silent. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought I was doing the right thing, my love."

"So Zoya can handle it and I can't?"

"For the millionth time," he groaned, "I don't care about Zoya."

"I only care about you and I know you can handle it. I just didn't want you to. You deserve happiness and peaceful life and I know it's impossible to have in this saints' forsaken country but I can at least try." His eyes lowered in shame and his confession sent a pang through your heart. You took a moment to take in what he said.

Never had you thought about the possibility of Nikolai's distance was a form of protection. You were a soldier of the Second Army, after all. But being a queen, especially a Grisha one, was a delicate thing.

It was the first time in history that something like this happened. Nikolai's worries were not unfounded since even after the destruction of the Fold, anti-Grisha movements were spreading fast.

It was sad to see the General's attempt of assuring safety for Grisha, provoking exactly the opposite thing.

"Oh, Kolya," returning his grip, you leaned towards him, "I just want a life with you by my side."

"As do I. I want you always and forever but above all, I want you safe. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, you know it right?"

"I just ask that you tell me the truth and let me play the role I've been given."

"It's not going to be easy. People at court-"

"I know. That's why I'm here. Emil's been teaching."

"Well, no more. I'm going to take care of it from now on."

"Is this a promise or a threat?"

"Rest assured my love, the difference between the two is almost nonexistent." He flashed you a smirk and you couldn't help but smile at him. Here it was, your beloved Nikolai.

"Things are going to change, aren't they?" you murmured softly as he gently rested his forehead against yours.

"We're going to show everyone what a "power couple" is." Here was his promise. Sealed with the gentlest nudging of his nose to yours. The action made you smile and your heart soar. You missed these little moments of intimacy with him.

One of his hands came to cradle your face as the other kept hold of your left hand. Your rings softly clicked as they touched. A form of reassurance.

"I love you, y/n."

"And I you, Kolya."

You were completely lost in your little bubble, even more so when Nikolai's lips finally met yours, that you had forgotten where you were. And that there was an embarrassed Kirigin outside the door waiting for the right moment to come in with tea.

[wolferine]

Unforgivable - Part 2

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: When the reader loses their temper, it causes them to commit an act they can never take back...

Warnings: Violence, blood, torture, death

Word count: 2372

Part 1

Tags: @yeetus-thyself @phoenixofash @lilclownx @yeeterthekeeper @alessiapn @diaryoflife

AN: Please read to the end before you come after me. :)

Everything is a blur. The last thing you remember is cradling Natasha in your lap and seeing the pain of betrayal in her eyes. You did this to her. You couldn’t control your anger and now she had a bullet—shot out of your gun—in her back. You hurt her and there was no way you could ever forgive yourself for that. 

You finally let Tony get close enough to take care of her, because you realized you don’t deserve her anymore. 

You run away from the Avengers Tower, your leg slowing you down, but you don’t care. Each step feels like a knife rubbing against your bone, but even that’s not enough to distract you from the pain in your chest. It feels like someone has torn you open, ripped your heart out of your ribcage, and thrown it into a bonfire.

But you have no one to blame than yourself.

Tears stream down your face as you stumble through the streets, eventually finding some privacy in a nearby forest. Your sobs echo through the trees as you crawl hand over hand, your uniform shredding open on bushes and branches. The trickle of a creek calls to you and you dunk your bloody hands in the freezing water, desperate to wash yourself of your failures.

You can’t believe what you’ve done.

The scene of Natasha falling to the floor plays over and over in your head and you would pay anything to unsee it. You curl into a ball, wiping your nose on your knees. You deserve all the pain and misery for your actions. You’re so caught up in your head, thinking about all the ways you can punish yourself, that you don’t notice the group of men sneaking up on you from behind.

“Over there! Over there!” 

“By the creek, see?”

“Wait—that’s an Avenger?”

“Looks like someone had a bad day.”

“Hey, Y/N.”

At the sound of your name, you finally lift your head, only for the butt of a shotgun to slam into your face. Your nose breaks and blood fills your mouth. You turn away, not even interested in protecting yourself. If they killed you, you would thank them.

“Aw, come on. At least give us a reaction,” someone says.

The shotgun butt smashes against the back of your head and you wouldn’t be surprised if it cracked your skull. Someone kicks your leg where you were shot, and you bite your lip to hold back a scream.

“Well, this is anti-climactic.”

“Hey, if it makes our job easier, I’m not gonna complain.”

“I still think Hammer’s weird for wanting Y/N over the other Avengers.”

“Given the circumstances, he couldn’t really be picky—”

“Stop standing around and get to it!” someone yells. 

The men surround you, punching and kicking every inch of you. The bulletproof vest of your uniform does little to lessen the impact of their blows. You feel bruises forming along your ribs and your rattling teeth bite your lips bloody. It doesn’t take long for you to black out and the peace is blissful.

***********************************************************************

Sometime later—you have no idea how long—you jolt awake, finding yourself strapped to a metal chair in the middle of a dark, concrete room. A man in glasses and a gray suit with white gloves stands in front of you. 

“Hello, I’m Justin Hammer,” he says, offering a hand, then withdrawing when he realizes your arms are tied to the chair. “Sorry, force of habit.”

You stare at him. Your tongue pokes around the inside of your mouth and you notice some teeth are missing. There is a painful crick in your neck every time you try moving your head and every breath you take feels like a razor blade scraping the inside of your lungs.

“You’ve probably never heard of me, but I’m very familiar with you and your work with the Avengers. But the reason I have you here today is to talk about this man.” Hammer pulls out a folded photograph from his pocket and shows it to you.

It’s Tony Stark, but you have no desire to even think of that man anymore.

“Your best friend, right?” Hammer teases and you curl your lip at him. “What’s wrong? He’s the one who got you a spot on the team, isn’t he?” You look away from him. “I heard what he did to your girl,” he continues. “That must’ve felt like the betrayal of the century.”

“What?” you ask, confused as to what he’s referring to.

“I heard about what happened at the Avengers Tower. So tragic.” Hammer crumples Tony’s photograph and drops it on the floor. “Romanoff didn’t deserve that.”

“W-What are you talking about? Is she okay?” Your bottom lip quivers in fear.

Hammer kneels in front of you. “She’s dead, Y/N.”

“No, no…” You feel like he’s punched you right through the chest. “T-That’s not possible.”

“I’m sorry. I know she meant a lot to you.” Hammer stands again.

“How do you even know what happened at the Tower?” Given its security, there was no way news like that reached the public. At least not the truth of it. Maybe Hammer was just trying to mess with you.

Hammer motions behind him and a blonde woman steps forward from the shadows. Her face jolts your memory, but you don’t remember exactly where from.

“Recognize her?” Hammer asks. “She actually works for me, but she’s been pretending to be a SHIELD agent for some time now. She was right outside the door when your little spat with Stark went down.” Your mind flashes back to when you returned from the mission with Natasha. On your way to the private Avengers’ quarters, you remember passing the same blonde woman right outside the door.

“She heard everything that happened inside,” Hammer says as the blonde woman retreats into the darkness again.

“N-Natasha’s…She’s…She’s not dead,” you stammer.

Hammer shakes his head. “She went into surgery after Stark shot her, but due to the placement of the bullet, there were some complications and she coded on the table. They couldn’t revive her. That part was all over the news.”

You feel so sick you want to vomit. “I…I killed her?”

“No. You didn’t kill her. Tony Stark killed her.”

You start gasping for air, only worsening the pain in your chest. “No—But—He—I’m the one who pulled the trigger—”

“But you weren’t aiming for her. You were aiming for Stark, and he’s the one who deflected the bullet into her,” Hammer says. “He’s also the one who sent you two on that mission to begin with, wasn’t he? The reason you lost your cool and pulled your gun out? Think, Y/N. All of this is Stark’s fault.”

But the sadness of thinking you’ve killed Natasha is too overwhelming. You can’t focus on anything but your own guilt. You will burn in hell for this and you won’t even mind.

“Listen to me, Y/N!” Hammer snaps, striking you across the face. His rings cut into your cheek and blood fills your mouth. “I hate Stark just as much as you do. He’s been my business rival for years and I need someone to help me take him down. Who better than you, a former friend of his, who knows how to hit him where it hurts?”

You start crying at the thought of having to exist in a world without Natasha Romanoff.

Hammer tries getting your attention by slapping you again, but you’re unresponsive. You’re too lost in your grief to process anything he’s saying, and eventually he gives up, promising to come back another time to reveal his master plan to you.

It takes an entire month before he can even communicate with you. Your depression is all-consuming and their threats on your life have no effect. They’re startled to learn you actually enjoy the torture because you believe you deserve it after what you did to Natasha. But Hammer is relentless and finally figures out how to manipulate you into his bidding.

Six months after your capture and the accident, you finally crack. Your agony and pain turns into pure rage and hatred for Tony Stark. You can’t bring Natasha back, but you can get revenge on the man who took her life. After training with Hammer’s technology, which is almost as advanced as Tony’s, you’re deemed ready to be let out in the real world. Hammer personally asks for your help to kill Tony Stark, and it’s an offer you accept gladly.

***********************************************************************

Three months after the accident…

Natasha wakes up and looks to her right, disappointed to see the bed still empty. She’s tricked herself into believing that one day you’ll show up, ready to pick up the pieces and continue where you left off. But nothing has been the same since you left.

She sits up and turns the lights on. She scoots to the edge of the bed and carefully lifts her body into the wheelchair parked there.

The bullet had struck her lumbar spine, shattering her L1 vertebrae and paralyzing her from the waist down. Tony requested help from the best doctors he knew, but even the greatest modern advancements couldn’t repair her spine. He had personally designed her wheelchair, and she knows she should be grateful to still be alive, but she’s never felt so helpless and alone. 

After the accident, you ran off and no one could locate you. Secretly, she held onto the hope you would return one day, but she knows your guilt and shame are keeping you away. She wants to tell you that it wasn’t your fault and that she doesn’t hate you, but you’re not even giving her that chance.

Tony made the public announcement that Black Widow had retired from the Avengers. No one knew she had been paralyzed, nor that you had unofficially resigned from the team. Without you, without Black Widow, Natasha didn’t know who she was anymore.

She leaves her bedroom and goes into the kitchen. Tony arranged most of the food and dishes down to her new height but she feels like she’ll never adjust to not being able to stand anymore. She locates a bowl and a box of cereal and rolls over to the table. She chokes down dry Cheerios and pours her second bowlful when Tony walks in.

“Thank God you’re finally up,” he says. “When you’re done, I have something to show you.”

“Y/N?” She perks up.

“Uh…no…”

Natasha knows Tony blames himself just as much as she does for her accident, but it wasn’t his fault either. She wrestled between anger and guilt, sometimes blaming you, sometimes blaming him. But in the end, it’s easier to blame herself. She should have stopped you the moment you took out your gun, regardless of whether or not you pushed her. But she got so caught up in the moment she froze, and now she was paralyzed and you were gone.

“Just come down to my workshop, okay?” Tony disappears again.

With nothing better to do, Natasha takes the elevator down to Tony’s workshop. She doesn’t visit often, but when she does, she’s always impressed by his latest inventions and gadgets. She rolls down the aisle of old Iron Man suits displayed in glass cases, admiring the subtle differences in each one.

“Where are you, Tony?” she calls.

“Over here!” He waves her down from the other end. “I’ve been working on this for a while, and I know it’s a little premature, but I couldn’t help myself.” Tony stands next to another Iron Man suit, but it doesn’t quite look like it will fit him.

The suit is curved to fit a woman, black and red instead of Tony’s iconic red and gold. Natasha sees a red hourglass emblazoned on the belt buckle.

“What…What is this, Tony?” she asks, tears in her eyes.

“It’s an Iron Widow suit,” he says. “Or, whatever you want to call it. You’ll have to get in and test it out for yourself, but it’ll allow you to walk again and…be an Avenger again.”

Natasha wishes she could throw herself into his arms, but pulls him down to her level instead. “Thank you,” she whispers, wiping her face. She never thought she would be able to serve as an Avenger again, but she’ll take the opportunity if it means taking her mind off recent events.

“Ready to try it out?” Tony presses a button on the side of the suit and the suit opens up, bending into a crouched position so Natasha can get in it like a chair.

 She smiles for the first time since the accident.

 “I am.”

***********************************************************************

Six months after the accident…

Natasha is in the gym, lifting dumbbells on a bench when Tony walks in. Although she now has a legitimate excuse for skipping leg day for the rest of her life, she now has to make sure her upper body is twice as strong to make up for it.

“Look who decided to slide through my DMs this morning,” Tony says, shoving his phone in her face.

Midnight. Central Park Carousel. Come alone.

The text was from you.

“Oh, my God,” Natasha says, setting the weights down. You haven’t even texted her since the accident, and she’s a little hurt you didn’t reach out to her first. “What’s this about?”

“I have no idea.” Tony shrugs. “I know it says for me to go alone, but since it’s from Y/N, I wanted to ask if you wanted to tag along.”

“Of course.” In a way, Natasha feels like the text is really meant for her. Central Park was where you had asked her to be your girlfriend. That couldn’t be a coincidence.

“I’ll need you to be on your A-game. We have no idea what Y/N’s been up to these past six months. I don’t know if you’re gonna like what we find,” Tony says.

Natasha has spent countless nights wondering where you’ve been and what you’re doing. Now she has the chance to find out. “It’s going to be okay, Tony,” she says.

He shakes his head. “Just so you know, I’m praying more for you than me right now.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Click here for Part 3!

AN: I never went to medical school, so forgive my medical inaccuracies.

[percabethfeelsfandom]

Writing Prompt AU: Childhood Best Friends to Lovers

PART 2: Age 9

Annabeth’s laugh cuts through the air as she runs away from Percy’s outstretched arms. 

“You can’t catch me Seaweed Brain! I’m too fast for you,” she screeches as she winds between other students in the playground and the play equipment. 

“I’m never going to stop chasing you,” he calls back, but he’s laughing as well which is detrimental to his speed. 

He can hear Grover cheering him on, mixed with Thalia’s cries at Annabeth to run faster, faster. Percy’s legs burn with exertion but he keeps going, keeping his eyes firmly trained on Annabeth’s bright hair as she runs further and further away from him. 

Another voice joins the two and Percy feels his feet stutter. 

“Come on Annabeth, you can beat him!” Luke shouts. Annabeth turns back for a moment, giving a wide smile to their new friend who moved to their school at the beginning of this year. Percy uses this to try and gain some ground on her, but she’s still just out of his reach. 

She ducks below a low hanging branch laughs as leaves catch Percy in the face. 

He pauses, catching his breath and tries to not get annoyed when Luke’s laughter joins Annabeth’s in teasing him. 

“Come on Seaweed Brain. You should be able to catch her, she’s just a girl,” Luke says and clamps a firm hand on Percy’s shoulder. He shrugs it off and looks around the playground for Annabeth’s familiar golden head. 

“Thalia and Annabeth are both faster than you,” Grover points out and Percy holds back a laugh while trying to catch his breath when Luke’s face goes pink. 

“Shut up Grover,” he answers and gives Grover a light push. Percy rolls his eyes and finally catches sight of Annabeth at the edge of his vision. 

He takes off again without saying anything to either of his friends and manages to get within a couple of feet of Annabeth before she sees him coming and disappears again into the crowd. 

She has a knack for becoming practically invisible during hide-and-seek tips, and Percy secretly hates when he’s it and has to go against her. 

Regardless, he pushes forward until his lungs are heaving. He leans against a brick wall and looks around, he knows she’s close, but he can’t see her, it’s like she’s disappeared into thin air. Fighting back an annoyed sigh he sits himself down and closes his eyes to rest. 

“Okay Annabeth you win, I’m tired. I give up.” He says, raising his voice so he can be heard amongst the other students playing around them. No one pays him any attention but he sees movement in the corner of his eyes and watches as Annabeth jumps from a low branch of a tree. He rolls his eyes at her hiding spot and watches as she slowly claps while she walks to him.  

He closes his eyes as he rests, not wanting to see her smug smile, but he hears when Annabeth joins him in sitting down. 

“One of these days you’ll catch me, don’t worry,” she reassures him, with a soft nudge against his shoulder.  

“One day,” he replies with a smile. He can’t stay annoyed with her for too long. She’s his best friend after all (after Grover of course). 

“Just not today.” 

Percy laughs and leans his head on her shoulder as they watch other students play in the playground. He expects her to push him off but she doesn’t and he stays there for a moment, finding comfort in her existence. He’s still catching his breath, but Annabeth seems hardly puffed out. “I can let you catch me tomorrow so that Luke stops laughing at you,” Annabeth says softly. 

Percy scoffs and turns to her, suddenly feeling a bit more serious. 

“No, that’s not fair on you. Luke is dumb. He doesn’t think girls can run fast, but you’re one of the fastest in the grade. It’s okay. I’ll be faster one day.”

Annabeth smiles and turns away, but Percy sees the blush before she does and the sight makes him blush as well. He sits up straighter so that he isn’t leaning against her anymore, suddenly embarrassed. 

“Unless of course, you don’t think I can catch you.” He tells her with a teasing tone. 

This time she’s the one that’s scoffing. 

“Whatever Seaweed Brain, come on, they’re probably looking for us.” She says and stands up, holding out a hand to him. He grabs it and lets her haul him to his feet. His legs are like jelly and he wobbles a bit when he stands, but she catches his arm before he falls. He gives her a smile in thanks and shakes himself a bit to reawaken his limbs. 

“Please stop calling me that,” he asks and she shakes her head, a wide smile on her face. 

“Hmm, I think not. It’s very fitting for you.”

“It happened one time, and it was an accident,” he complains and she laughs, walking backward as they talk. Seaweed Brain is a nickname she gave to him the first time they went to the beach together. He had ducked under a wave and come up with a head full of seaweed. It had been funny that day and they hadn’t been able to stop laughing, but three years later, the nickname had stuck. 

“It’s funny, Percy.”

“Not when everyone else does it. They don’t know why it’s funny,” he argues. He doesn’t mind when Annabeth does it, weirdly enough, but he gets a bit of an upset stomach when he hears other people like Luke calling him it. Even Nancy has caught wind of the name and calls him that when Annabeth and his other friends aren’t around. Percy isn’t scared of her anymore though because Nancy doesn’t have any friends to hide behind and Percy’s mom has taught him that people who hurt other people only do it because they’re sad. Which means Nancy is very sad. So Percy leaves her alone. 

Annabeth shrugs. 

“Then I’ll tell them off if it happens again, okay? Only I can call you that. It’s my special name for you. Agreed?”

Percy thinks about it for a moment. He can live with that. 

“Agreed.” 

They find their way back to their friends who are setting up a new game of hide-and-seek tag. 

“Not it!” He shouts as soon as they’re within earshot and Annabeth startles a bit next to him before echoing his words. Grover does the same, then Thalia. 

Leaving Luke frowning. 

“But I don’t want to be it.” 

“That’s the rules Luke, you’re it. Go count,” Thalia says with a shrug. She begins to jog backward, leaving the others, her spikey black hair disappearing moments later. 

“Sorry Luke,” Annabeth says softly and gives Luke an apologetic smile before following Thalia’s lead. 

Grover and Percy are right behind them, Luke’s voice counting down from 100 lost in the wind of other voices. 

Percy is out of breath again as he hides behind a bush. Luke has for some reason chosen him to be his target for this round, which isn’t really fair since Percy just spent the entire last round chasing Annabeth around the entire school, but Luke isn’t listening to him and it’s getting on Percy’s nerves just a little bit. 

He can hear Luke’s voice calling out to him, taunting him as Percy hears his footsteps pass, but he holds his breath as if that will help hide him better.

“Psst Percy!” 

He looks around wildly and catches sight of Annabeth at the top of the stairs. She beckons him closer and he looks cautiously out from the bush. She notices and shakes her head, urging him to be quicker. 

“It’s clear I promise. He’s looking for Grover. Come on hurry.” 

Percy takes her for her word and darts off in her direction. As he’s getting closer to her he hears footsteps follow him and watches as her eyes widen in a panic. 

“Percy run!” 

He turns back briefly and adrenaline fills his body as he sees Luke catching up to him.  

Annabeth has started running as well, and Percy trails after her, but he’s not as nimble and quick, accidentally bumping into students as he runs. He jumps over an upturned trashcan and whoops as it slows Luke down. Annabeth leads the way back to the play equipment and makes a leap onto it. 

“Is he still following me?” He calls to Annabeth as she climbs the monkey bars for a higher vantage point. He starts slowing down as she looks around. 

“I don’t know, I can’t see him.” 

There’s a loud cackle and Percy feels his body get tackled to the ground. Sharp pain shoots up and down his arm as it’s pinned to the ground and he cries out as he feels a crack. 

For a moment everything is simultaneously too bright and too dark. 

“Percy!” Annabeth’s voice cuts through the pain and he blinks, trying to regain his vision but black and white spots are still floating behind his eyelids. 

“Luke, why did you push him so hard!” 

Luke’s voice is panicked and high-pitched as he stands over Percy, casting a dark shadow over him, “I didn’t, he just wasn’t looking. It’s not my fault...He was just, he just stopped out of nowhere, he was going too slow.”

Percy groans and tries to sit up, but his arm is screaming at him, and he doesn’t want to look down because it feels wrong. He turns his face the other way, away from the sore arm and he meets Annabeth’s eyes briefly, but she gets back up and gestures wildly at Percy then at Luke.

“Oh my gods, Percy, your arm. Luke, get a teacher!” Annabeth’s voice is rising in panic and though he still can’t see clearly he can feel her join him on the ground and she cradles his head in her lap. 

“Come on it’s not that- oh ew,” Luke says, with a tone of disgust. Percy squeezes his eyes tightly so that the tears don’t fall and he hears Luke’s footsteps quickly retreat and leave them. 

Other voices start coming closer but all he can hear is Annabeth. 

“It’s gonna be okay, Percy. You’re okay, Percy. I promise. I’m here.”

He feels a small hand grip his good arm, and he peeks open one eye. 

“I’m okay,” he tries to say, but he shifts and accidentally moves his arm, sending another wave of pain down his body. 

“Don’t you dare move.” Annabeth sees the wince and hushes him, commanding him to stay still. 

“But-”

“If you move, you’re not my best friend anymore.” 

Percy freezes every single bone in his body and holds his breath as Annabeth inspects him, carefully arranging his limbs so he can be comfortable. It doesn’t work, but he manages to feel some sort of gratitude towards her for trying. He can tell she’s scared. He knows because they’re best friends and he knows Annabeth as good as he knows himself. Her hands are shaking and she keeps blinking because she’s trying not to cry. Percy wants to reach out to her, but he holds himself to his promise not to move. 

Moments later Luke arrives with a teacher in tow. 

“He tripped and fell…” He can hear Luke saying. 

“That’s not what happened,” Annabeth says with a frown, and gets up, leaving Percy. 

Their voices start to quiet as Percy feels himself get lightheaded. Footsteps come closer to him again and hands grip his shoulders, nudging him lightly. 

“Percy! Breathe! You can move, you can move,” Annabeth cries, her eyes wide and bright with fear. “You idiot, why did you hold your breath.” Percy tries to laugh, but it kind of hurts so he gives a half shrug, and takes in a deep breath, filling his lungs with much-needed air. 

“I didn’t want to move. I still want to be your best friend,” he admits truthfully. Annabeth laughs, but it comes out sort of like a cry and she wipes at her eyes and pats his head softly like she doesn’t know what to do with her hands. 

“You’re so dumb. You’re always going to be my best friend, Seaweed Brain. Come on, stay awake, the ambulance is coming.” 

She doesn’t move from her spot by her side the entire time. Not when Thalia and Grover come to see why Luke hasn’t found them. Not when the teachers tell them that the ambulance is on their way. Not when Percy’s Mom, Sally, is called and is told to meet them at the hospital. Not even when the ambulance arrives, but when a teacher comes and softly tugs her away from him, her hand finally leaves his. 

Percy has never been to the hospital alone before and the fear sets in as they’re pulling him onto the stretcher and telling them where he’s headed.  He starts crying for his friends. Screaming at them not to leave them. Grover is crying into Thalia’s arms, scared and overwhelmed at the loud sounds of the sirens but Annabeth is screaming back, begging the teachers to let her go as they hold her back. 

Mr Brunner, Percy’s favourite teacher joins him in the ambulance and reassures him that Annabeth will be able to visit once he’s at the hospital, but that doesn’t ease his anxieties until he sees his mother waiting for him when he reopens his eyes at the hospital. 

The sight of her brings an immediate calm to his body, and he feels his bones relax. They take x-rays of his arm and put him in a cast, telling him that he’ll be in it for a couple of months. He’s still shaking with pain and shock but his Mom brushes his hair out of his face and softly hums him to sleep until his eyes close again and he falls into a dreamless sleep. 

When he reawakens there are multiple people in his room. The first he sees is his mother still at his side, biting her thumb as she watches him wake. The next is the face of his disgruntled step-father Gabe, who leaves the room once he sees his eyes open. 

And then his friends. 

Grover. Thalia. Luke. 

And- 

“Percy!” Annabeth throws her arms around Percy before he’s even fully awake and he gasps in surprise before returning the hug and pushing his face into her shoulder. 

“You scared me,” she whispers, so quiet he can barely hear her. 

“I didn’t mean to,” he says back, equally as quiet. 

She finally pulls back and sits back on the bed. 

“I’m glad you’re okay now.” 

He manages a smile and nods. 

“Me too.” 

His other friends join him on the bed, and poke at his cast, asking him questions about it and the ride in the ambulance. They talk well into the night, and even though it’s late and the sky is dark, their parents let them all stay, keeping Percy company until visiting hours end. 

Before his friends leave, the doctor comes in and hands Percy a pen. 

“Do you want your friends to sign your cast before they go?” 

Percy nods enthusiastically and they all take turns writing something on his cast before waving him goodbye. 

Grover draws an assortment of plants and flowers. Thalia draws a wide smiley face and Luke writes luke was here. He rolls his eyes at the silly drawings and their names on the cast before handing it to Annabeth who is the last one left. 

She carefully takes the pen from Percy and holds his arm carefully, before writing. 

I hope you get better soon, love annabeth (your best friend)

(PART 1)

[shaydeoffical]

Let’s Slip Away: Diluc x Fem Reader: Childhood Best Friend Au

Summary: You and Diluc slip away from the annual Dawn Winery Ball and confess. Reader then deals with some anxiety about the relationship and Diluc soothes them.  

Tags:

Lots of fluff, Creepus is a wonderful person, Diluc is so smooth, dancing under the moonlight, long fit.  

Diluc x Reader

Lets Slip Away

The annual Dawn Winery Masquerade Ball, the biggest ball this side of Mondstat, or it used to be. Thankfully, Diluc had successfully scaled the ball down in size a little more with each passing year. Still, it didn't make much of a difference with the ballroom still being packed tight. No matter how the guest list shrunk, people found a way to take up the same amount of space as before. There's nothing I loved more than a dance, but it was the people I couldn't stand. Everyone liked to pretend they were an evil aristocrat once their identity was concealed. A fancy dress, a decorative mask, and a new hairstyle, and everyone felt invincible. It was the same thing every year; they'd order the staff around, drink till they lost control, and leave the manor a mess. It was deplorable.

After watching a woman toss a glass on one of the maids, I lost my cool. I may or may not have tossed my grape juice on the women in retribution. The maid couldn't do it, so I had to use my position as "Master" Diluc's best friend to get away with it. What I didn't expect was for the lady's husband to toss not just the wine but the whole glass at my face. While the glass didn't bust when the base hit my head, it did leave a notable bruise, and the wine soaked through my hair, mask, and dress.

Elzer stepped in immediately to settle the issue, and instead of sticking around to get a lecture, I slipped into the garden. Hiding between several grapevines. I listened to the music pour from the house above and pouted. If I had played my cards right tonight, I would have been dancing in an empty corner with Turner or maybe even Diluc if he was free. He always saved the last dance for me. When the party started to clear a little, we'd stay in my favorite corner and have a quick dance while he whispered about he'll find a way to have the event canceled next year. But no, I was being eaten by mosquitos fighting off a headache.

Holding my mask between my hands, the once white fabric had stained dark red. Even my cream dress was littered with splotches that wrecked of dandelion wine. Sucking in my lower lip, I held back a sudden wave of sadness. It settled into my bones and swept through my limbs in a jitter. Why was I so sad? I avenged the maid and did the right thing… but my chest ached.   Curling around myself, I tucked my head between my lap. There was a time and place for crying, and a party wasn't one. Yet, there I was, sobbing into the fancy gown Diluc had hand made for me. Of course, he wouldn't be mad at me for what happened, but the guilt was eating me alive. I had ruined the evening for myself and made things harder on my friend. "There you are. I've been looking all over-. Hey, Elzer told me what happened, but he didn't mention a welt. How badly are you hurt?" Diluc pushed through the vines faster and hopped over the last row. He knelt beside me and carefully lifted my chin so he could see my face. "I'm just being a baby." I leaned back, the moonlight catching my skin. He ran his thumb over the knot on my forehead, and he clenched his teeth. "Damn bastard." He looked back at the mansion. "He might be wearing a mask, but there's only one person in Mondstat with monogram shoe buckles." "What?" I laughed; he was so serious, but the idea of a monogram shoe buckle had me drying up my tears. "Who pays for that kind of thing?" "Mr. Barker." Diluc wiped under my eyes. "Are you hurt anywhere besides your head?" "Besides the guilt of running the dress you got me and making the party harder for you to manage, I'm fine." I let it out. There was no use in pretending it wasn't bothering me. I had learned a lot about Diluc in our years of being together. While he was a very perceptive man when it came to solving crimes and putting things together, he didn't have the same skill for guessing how I felt. He's known something was wrong before, but he'd just find ways to blame himself if I didn't tell him. "I'll have you another dress made, and those Barkers aren't your fault. Ms. Barker started it, and I ended it. There's always a little drama at these events." He twirled my hair around his finger. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to stop it entirely." "Don't go blaming yourself now." I scooted so close; I was almost in his lap. "Let's just focus on the music or the sky. I know you'll have to go back in soon, so let's just relax for a moment." "Hmm, I can hear it from here. It's nice." A soft number started to play, and people passing by the window cast shadows into the courtyard. He leaned his head against mine. Minutes passed by, and the song changed, both of us just settling our nerves. "So, I guess we won't have the last dance together this year." I hummed, the thought burning at the back of my mind. "I can't go back in there like this." I forced myself to laugh, trying to get it off my chest without sounding too sad. "We don't have to go back in. Elzer can handle the end of the night speech for me, like every year." Diluc stood, reaching his hand out to me. "Milady, may I have this dance?" "Diluc…of course, you may." I pushed my insecurities down and gripped his rough hand. Being wealthy, Diluc had been trained in many different types of formal ballroom dances. When he was in the zone, there was no one but Kaeya who could match his prowess and aura. But I wasn't blessed with the same background. I was just the daughter of the maid, and while my mother was paid well, there wasn't enough money to pay for a dance instructor. However, Diluc taught me everything he knew. We use to spend hours after his class, practicing and gliding around the living room. After some time, I even got to join the classes as Diluc and Kaeya's partner. Creepus convinced my mother it was just good practice for the boys, but looking back, he just wanted me to get that experience as well. "You okay?" Diluc gently gripped my waist as I spun back into his arms. "Yes, I was just thinking about when you taught me how to dance." I closed the gap between us and started moving with the song. Diluc took charge after a few more movements, and I gave up trying to lead. It was always a fun game for us to try to take charge, but I normally gave in fairly fast. Every now and then, he'd let me lead, but I often stepped on his toes when I did.   The ground wasn't level as a dance floor, so it was easier to just follow Diluc. Since he took the first step, he was able to find the best footholds. When we did hit a small hump, we'd steady each other and share a small smile. It wasn't a seamless performance like when we were on solid ground, but it was fun. It also gave us a reason to cling tighter to each other. His broad chest was always so warm; there was nothing more pleasant than laying my head there and closing my eyes as we swayed under the moon. "That was always so much fun." Diluc spun me out, then back into his arms. "Father use to watch us practice, he never told me directly, but Elzer said it was one of his favorite memories." Diluc pressed his lips into a line, eyes turning back to the manor. "He always loved this event, but I can't help but hate it." "I'm not a fan of the crowds or the entitled guests. But I do enjoy dancing with you." I laid my head on his shoulder, bringing him back to the present. "It seems we only dance when this event rolls around. And I can't help but wish for more moments like this. So, while I understand your distaste, I do think Creepus had the right idea. This is a chance for all of us to come together do something we all loved…it just is hard to enjoy when other people are so entitled." "I feel the same way. Dancing with you, it's always my favorite part of the ball." We swayed back and forth in a tight embrace, the music fading out and our footwork growing sloppy. "There's been so much to do recently. I'm afraid I've neglected you." "Mother told me that as friends get older, drifting apart is normal… I'm just glad you're still here with me. No matter how short that time is." He hugged me tighter, inhaling a sharp breath. "Maybe friends do, but my feelings for you are much stronger than just friends." I gasped before I could stop myself. Crickets chirped in the distance, and the lighting bugs emerged just as the party started to close. This moment was very much real…but did he really just confess? "You want to be with me?" I slowly looked up, grabbing the sides of his suit. "As more than friends?" "I do." He pulled back a little, glancing at the ground. "How do you feel? Could you ever love me as more than a friend? I know it's selfish to ask that of you, given the dangers that follow my line of duty. But I can't deny myself any longer." "My heart is going to jump out of my chest, Luc." Grasping his hand, I pressed it to my wrist. He smiled, rubbing his thumb over my pulse. "I want to be yours, and you mine. To be honest, I've had feelings for you for a while now. I just thought you didn't return them." Heat climbed up my face, and I looked away to hide it. While his confession was so smooth, mine was energetic and messy. Why couldn't I keep it calm? "That settles it then." He stepped closer, our eyes locking and fingers lacing. "We'll be together from here on out." A warm breeze went by, picking up the bottom of my ruined skirt. "Next time there's a dance, you won't have to leave my side, nor I yours. There will be no flying wine glasses or uncouth guests. We can dance the night away without worry or interruption." "I don't know if a party could ever go that smoothly." I pushed his hair back and cupped his face. "Unless we barred over half the guest list." "If you don't think I'd do that, then you underestimate how far I'll go to make you happy." His checks tined red, barely illuminated by the moon. "Oh, I don't doubt you, Master Diluc. But I'm not hard to please, we could dance in the living room like we use to, and I'd be the happiest person alive." I tugged him closer, wrapping my arms around his hips, and swaying to an imaginary beat. "It's not often you add my title before my name." He hummed, letting me lead us to the song in my head. "Master Diluc, whatever do you mean?" I batted my eyelashes and snickered. "I didn't realize I added it. Maybe it's where I've spent most of the night talking about you, and not to you that I've forgotten how to be relaxed. There was many a guest who wanted to pry about your love life." "Well, you have a definitive answer now, Lady Amber." He kissed the top of my head, stopping for a moment. His body radiated a wave of heat, and he nodded to himself. "It's starting to get cold. We should head inside before you catch a cold. I'm sure everyone's left by now." "I don't want this moment to end." I clung to his shirt, the warmth he emitted making my eyelids grow heavy. Whenever he allowed me to use him as a personal heater, I took the chance. But this was the first time I didn't worry about it being the last.   "We have many more moments like this ahead of us." He supported me as we walked towards the mansion, looping his arm around my waist. "Let's go clean up, and turn in for the night. Tomorrow we can have breakfast and go for a ride along the river. How does that sound?" "It sounds so nice." Once we were back in the house, Elzer met us in the doorway. "Where have you been, Master Diluc?" He rubbed the bridge of his nose and glanced at me. "And you, Ms. Amber, what were you thinking tossing your drink? You completely ruined the night. I could hardly contain the guests" Diluc wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and Elzer's tone sifted from miffed to muted. "Elzer, the issue was with the guests, not Amber." He steered me towards the stairs, nudging me along. "Go on to bed. I'll be up there in a moment. I have some business to finish up." Diluc walked towards his office, motioning for Elzer to follow him. Elzer shot me a perplexed look and tried to mouth out, 'be more careful' before hurrying after Diluc. I whisper back, "okay," before taking the stairs two at a time before stopping. I wasn't going to get in trouble, so I might as well show I'm not ashamed. "Goodnight Elzer," I called after the older man, with as "pleasant" of a tone as I could muster. Parties almost always stressed him more than Diluc, but since Elzer was an employee, he couldn't run and hide like Luc. Truth be known, if Diluc hadn't been there, I would have gotten a long lecture on the importance of keeping good relations with potential business partners. But that's only because Elzer couldn't let his frustrations out on anyone else. I was always there to listen and receive his distain when things went wrong. It wasn't my favorite pastime, but it did help him feel better. It was surprising he was so stressed, he actually chastised me in front of Diluc. It must have been a tough night even after I left. I usually was lectured in private, but he really was ready to let me have it.   Once in the guest room, I disrobed. The heavy gown took several minutes to untie and loosen the laces, but once it was done, my lungs could fully expand. My ribs ached, so I rubbed circles on my sides till the initial throb dulled. The night had gone better than I ever planned, and now it was over. Yet, there was a worse throb in my chest than the pain of a corset. Diluc and I were finally together. We removed the ever-lingering question and just confessed. Why did it hurt inside? Was it that the party was hard on everyone else and I was so happy? Or was it something else? Tilling the blue pitcher on the nightstand, water rushed into the ornate basin below. Dipping a rag into the cool water, I began to wash the wine from my face. It had been such a stressful night. Perhaps the empty feeling inside was fear of the unknown. Or fear that Diluc would wake up and change his mind. That he'd send me away for good once he realized he could never be with someone of such low status. Someone who didn't couldn't even keep up public appearance at a ball. Maybe, it would just take me slipping up once when I was wearing a mask? Then he'd send me away from the manor. I finished cleaning up, then tossed the water out the window. Fixing the pitcher and basin back in place, I reached below the nightstand and pulled out my nightgown. Slipping on the flowy gown, I turned down my sheets and got comfortable. This guest room had been mine for as long as I could remember. While I still lived in the cottage by the river with my mother, I spent more nights at the mansion than at home. Diluc and I would rush through his paperwork every night, and I'd help get his gear ready to go protect Mondstat. I was his sidekick in many ways. Spending so much time there at night, it just made sense for me to sleep here too. We were a great team. Plus, the close proximity made things easier and less suspicious… But that wasn't the whole truth. It was more so that my mother had met someone new, and he had moved into our shared home. He was a nice man, a retired Knight of Favonius, but I just couldn't relax around him. He was stern about me not going out after dark, so staying over at the mansion became more and more frequent. Which was better for mom and Mr.Godfrey's partnership. But while I spent more nights away, mom started to believe there was something between Diluc and me, so she was happy to see me leave home. She was going to be overjoyed to hear the news that we confessed. Though, I'm sure she'll say kicking me out was the reason we finally admitted our feelings, which was not the whole truth. Still, I did miss my own bed sometimes. Pressing my back to the headboard, I curled my knees up and rested my head between them. Sucking in a deep breath, small tears slipped past again. There was too much happening. I couldn't think about one thing for too long. So much good just happened. Why? Why was I thinking about the bad? A familiar rasp at the door rang through the room. "Come in." Wiping my eyes, I sat up and pulled the covers up to my neck. "You're crying again." He walked into the candlelight. I could tell he had cleaned up before coming to see me. He was wearing one of his loose puffy shirts and some cotton pants; his hair had been smoothed and pulled into a low ponytail, water dripping from the ends. It didn't matter what he wore. He always looked unbelievably handsome. "Was it Elzer? He knows it's not your fault. He was just worried about our trade deal." "There's just so much to think about. I can't let myself be happy." I rubbed my eyes again. "What if you realize I'm not good enough for you? Or what if my mother's partner treats you poorly because you quit the Knights? Then that couple, what if they stop working with you and it hurts the business because of me? No one is ever going to see me as anything more than a gold digger." My brain let loose, new concerns and problems being added to my mix. "I'm so negative right now, and I know you probably just want to be happy that we feel the same way…but- I'm so sorry. "He pulled back the covers and crawled in with me. Wrapping me in his arms, the blanket went over our heads, and Diluc settled down. "There you go, having to comfort me like a child." I rested my hand on his shoulder. "You sure you could learn to love a mess like me?" "I already love you." He rubbed patterns on my back, pressing a kiss to the lump on my forehead. "You've been like this since we were children, plagued with worries beyond your control. I know that after you let it out, you always feel better. And that the minute you go silent, that's when I really need to do some digging." He paused drawing on my back and instead moved to play with my hair. "We'll figure it all out as we go, all the what's and if's. We'll take them one at a time, starting with the one I have control over." "Woah." He flipped me over, hovering inches from my face. He pinned me between his legs, the v neck of his shirt hanging open so I could see the red hairs on his chest. "You could be from the richest family in Mondstat or poorest, and I'd still want to be with you." He kissed me, pressing down just until our bodies touched. "I'd go as far as to say, if you were a member of the Fatui, I'd still be smitten. I would certainly find a way to break your ties with them, but I couldn't stop loving you. So, you are more than enough for me, and if anyone makes you feel differently, then I will handle it." "That's a bold statement coming from you." I ran my fingers through his ponytail as it hung over his shoulder. "I can't argue with that logic, but I promise I'm not a member of the Fatui." I wrapped my arms around his waist, encouraging him to squish me with his full weight. "I'm going to crush you." He fought against me, but I only nuzzled his neck, blowing raspberries. "Amber, hey." "I know. But I'd also like to point out how improper it is for you to be in my room at this hour. So, I'd like to be crushed as repayment… please." I let go of one side of his hip and wiped my eyes. "You are right. It is improper." He lowered himself a little more but didn't fully lay on me. "A true gentlemen would never stay this late with a proper young lady. However, there is something else I want that's a little scandalous." "What could that be?" I gasped, my lungs not fully expanding as his weight sunk down on my chest. He noticed as he sat up to his previous position. "A kiss?" He moved his elbow up and cupped my face. His eyes glimmered with the flame that was lighting up the room. His touch was gentle but so firm I couldn't imagine being in another person's embrace. At that moment, there were only two people in the world, and I was madly in love with one of them.   "That sounds quite proper to me. You should always kiss your lover goodnight." I stuttered a little, unable to keep up the playful banter as I looked at his lips. The smile that spread on his face made the butterflies in my stomach flutter. Archons, I was smitten.   His thumb brushed my lower lip before he brought his mouth down for a chaste kiss. Testing the waters, he hovered millimeters above me, and I stole his lips in a deeper kiss. Having a lack of experience in the field, I matched the pattern he set. Just like dancing, I tried to take the lead and failed miserably. So I did was I was best at, adding the fun flourishes. I curled my fingers into his hair and snaked my hand up his shirt and across his chest. He matched my movements, caressing my face and tilting my head up to deepen the kiss. Every star in the sky dulled in comparison to the explosion of light that spread over my body. He shifted back, catching his breath. he smoothed my hair and peppered, kissing around my face before setting back. "Thank you." He laced our fingers together, pulling my hand to his mouth and kissing my knuckles.     "Will you stay tonight?" I took our intertwined hands and kissed his knuckles in return. "I don't want you to leave just yet." "As you wish." He got behind me, adjusting the covers we had tossed around earlier. "Now, let's get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow." I laid my head on my pillow and scooted back until we were slotted against each other. His hand wrapped around my shoulders in a reassuring squeeze. "I love you." "I love you more." It took a while for all the blood pumping through my body to relax again, but once it did, I fell into a deep and peaceful sleep. Dreams of dancing through the clouds with Diluc filled my head, and I had the best rest of my entire life. Next to the man I dearly loved.   

The End

Please Comment Like & Share so I know you want more Geinshein content  

[night-will-fall]

ok i have a quick rant on the Darkling/Darklina/Shadow and Bone trilogy i have to get out. i genuinely feel she let down his character, alina’s character, and in general the whole arc of the narrative.

**i want to clarify first that I am not anti Leigh. i’ve tagged that per someone’s request, but the truth is i simply feel that anybody who decides to put a story out there in the world, or any kind of writing, will be subject to criticism. that’s part of writing, it’s part of art, and it’s just part of creation and the real world, no matter your intentions or motivations for your piece. just like this post—it should be subject to criticism, too. that’s how discussion happens and people learn. it’s not an attack on the original writer because the writer is not their work. i love Leigh and her choice to put her stories out in the world, even if i disagree with some of the choices she made. it’s only because of her that we get to have these conversations about our favorite characters in the first place. (I also don’t think it’s fair to her and all the work she put into SEVEN novels to reduce the decisions she made about her characters and plots to ‘coping’ — just my two cents. I’m sure her trauma influenced her work, it’s hard to imagine otherwise. but I doubt she or anyone else would vouch for people refusing to critique their work because of something she went through that does not define her.)**

the problem i have with Leigh’s writing of the Darkling is that after Shadow & Bone, it was so forced. she wrote him doing all of these implausibly horrible things after the fans started to like him to force it down our throats that he was the irredeemable villain. and yet when he was first introduced, i was so hopeful that this character called ‘the Darkling’, a shadow summoner and master of darkness, wouldn’t fall into the predictably, disappointingly easy trope of evil as darkness and good as light. so when she did exactly that, it felt like a betrayal of the character after he had already begun to take on a life and heart of his own. we connected to him. and she did her very best to sever that connection in favor of an emotionally manipulative boy who did almost nothing to help alina grow. Mal actually hindered and harmed her growth, constantly guilting her for having wants, desires, and feelings of her own that didn’t revolve around him, whereas the Darkling never wanted her to be anything but herself. he, like her, was capable of seeing the bigger picture, whereas Mal was an absurdly selfish and bizarre character that cared about none of that (and didn’t even “want” alina until she was famous and desired ?!! like come on). i sincerely can’t believe he was intended to be the love interest we connected with and rooted for.

and i know she likely had personal reasons for characterizing Aleksander the way she did, possibly attempting to embody anecdotal experiences with a specific person who did her harm in her own life, but with this character it felt unnatural and forced. she basically ignored of all of his character’s potential as a complex, nuanced human tortured by watching generations of his people’s pain, trauma, exploitation, murder, etc. (even if it was true that he had eroded morally/emotionally because of the mervost and centuries of standing witness to these atrocities), ironically dismissing his potential to grow in a story that was supposed to be all about growth (another narrative failure i won’t get into here). not to mention that his mission’s intent wasn’t even inherently evil (morally grey at worst, which is so much more compelling than pure evil anyway, which makes it extra disappointing that she bungled this), and by the end of the series all of his completely valid points just went unaddressed and people continued to suffer for it. his attempts to solve that problem were simplistically reduced and deemed as plain ‘evil’, with very few people recognizing the deep empathy and collective pain that drove his actions—something that alina actually did understand. 

i feel bad for him. that’s why i like him and that’s why i like Darklina. he deserved better, and so did alina. their chemistry was so eloquently written (and portrayed in the show) and i truly believe they could’ve helped each other grow. but we never got a chance to see or explore that because of how Bardugo’s personal feelings obscured the natural direction of her characters’ development, ultimately doing a serious disservice to her narrative (she does this a few times — prioritizes certain plotlines and actions that she wants to include even if they don’t align with the natural progression of the story). she tries to make us believe certain things and feel certain ways about her characters and plot points in opposition of the simple truth that they just don’t fit. alina’s character essentially ends up right where she started with only a few slight differences, one of them being the loss of power, which was something that made her uniquely, intrinsically her, and was cruelly ripped away in a nonsensical punishment for what? daring to trust? daring to break away from the insecure hold Mal had over her, and constantly used against her? daring to grow and learn? daring to delve deeper into her own power as a Grisha? daring to connect with the Darkling and the nobility of his motives? it was all around just a sad and disappointing direction to take a story that had so much potential to be powerful and different.

[not to mention all of the beautiful balance in the light/shadow trope, the star-crossed lovers torn apart by situational and ideological conflict, the novelty of their powers and their mirroring inabilities to “fit in” or find others like them, like. come ON, that could have been so great. ugh. just to abandon it all for dusty, insecure Malware. pls.]

ok end rant. thank you if you read my heated word vomit.

[marvelyhp]

Still you | chapter II

Chapter II: The comeback

Synopsis: Y/n decides to help the Avengers despite their betrayal two years prior and her life makes a big shift once again.

Pairing: Y/n x Bucky Barnes and some Y/n x Sam Wilson

Word count: 5,997

warnings: cussing, some fluff

note: I know I took so long but I had writer's block. then, I got covid and I felt too awful to write. But I'm okay now so this is what I could come up with. Not my greatest stuff. the tag list is open :)

Side note: I would really appreciate hearing from you and your thoughts!

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We managed to lower two floors without raising suspicion or making too much noise. At least, James and I were pretty silent, whispering if needed. But of course, Stark always had to open his damn mouth. He had been talking all the way —pretty loudly too— and he just did it again.

“Where’s the grandpa with the bad luck of having you as a tenant?” The man didn’t know the meaning of whispering. Or maybe he did. He just wanted to make my life more complex than it was. I looked frantically behind me, praying he had not seen me sneaking out. At the sight of no one, a breath of relief exploded out of me. But it didn’t last long, irritation quickly dampening my already poor mood.

“Shut the hell up!” I hissed. My patience with the insufferable man wearing thin.

“Oh, relax. If he sees us, we’ll knock him out and blame you.” He mocked, a chuckle erupting throughout the hall and following the stairlike a draft of wind. My blood started to boil inside my veins and I felt the heat spread from head to toes. I was afraid to be reaching my tipping point already because this was nothing. Two years out of practice left me hypersensitive to his shit. I wondered how long I would be able to stand the insufferable mortal and regret hit me like a ton of bricks.

“He is a good man, Stark. We will not knock him out.” I whispered as I pressed myself against the wall. Twisting my head around the corner at the end of the hall, I sneaked a glance at the stairs and the visible space from the top. “Watch your step here. His room is right underneath the stairs. We don’t want to wake him up.

I walked forward, pressing my foot in the first step, praying the creak of the old wood would keep quiet today as it did some nights. At least that’s what I hoped but it wasn’t what happened. A groan broke the silence in the room and I knew that if he was awake, he definitely heard it. I waited a couple of seconds, alert to any noise. When nothing came, I advanced four more steps. I focused on the one shadow dancing in the wall and relief swept through me. He wasn’t awake.

I turned, thinking the guys were still up. However, I let out a gasp when Bucky’s face came into view, mere inches away from mine. Thanks to the startle, the foot I had dangerously close to the edge slipped.

My heart stopped as I thought about the fall and the inevitable bone-crushing pain that would come after it. The stairs were pretty high and even though they were wood, it was quite sharp. Splinters roamed everywhere. I waited for the pain and the strenuous sound. It was phenomenal, the first time I saw the team in two years and I would meet them in a body bag with a broken neck.

However, it never came.

When I opened my eyes, blue electric eyes stared back at me. Our faces were inches away from each other. A hand wrapped around my waist, pulling me flush against him to hold me from falling. I was hyper-aware of our breaths clashing against each other, making the most sinful of sounds. Our lips were separated by a small space, too close for my brain to catch up quickly. I noticed how his lips roamed my face, stopping at my lips slightly parted by the surprise. His eyes held a fervent fire and my breath quickened once I felt the inevitable rush of warmth roaring my body.

Coughing slightly, I took a step backward, stepping out of his grasp. I forgot all about the landlord as I scolded myself. The man looked at me and there I was getting flushed like a raging hormonal teenager. I looked at everything but Bucky’s face, why I knew still had his eyes on me except now his jaw was firmly set. I wanted to ask him what was going on inside his head but a hovering shadow at the top of the stairs captured my attention.

“What are you still doing up there?'' The man looked utterly confused standing at the top of the stairs surrounded by darkness. I wondered if it had to do with what he just witnessed.

“You care about that grandpa, don’t you?” His expression was one of disbelief. His body wasn’t moving as if in shock or trying to process the information he thought was correct. And it was, but he didn’t have to know.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, unaffected.

“Of course you do. You care about the landlord.”

I whirled around as fast as I could with the incident earlier present in my head as a gruff voice filled the room. A short, stubby old man stood at the foot of the stair dressed in a white t-shirt and some basketball shorts. The ends of his hair stood up as if held by a string and maneuvered by a child. His narrowed black eyes stared back at us. His lips pressed in a thin line.

“Of course, she does, kid. Why shouldn't she?” He crossed his arms in front of his chest. I followed the movement of the milk dancing in the glass on his right hand. I felt proud of the English I had taught him and how-- as much as I didn't want this to happen-- useful it would be. I looked back at Stark to find him gaping like a fish. Little croaks came from his throat but no coherent words came from him. It was the first time I had seen Stark speechless. “I’m an incredible landlord if I say so myself.”

He was.

I cursed inwardly. There were things I didn't want everyone to know. To a certain extent, I wasn’t ready for the team, for Stark, to find out that I wasn’t the monster he expected me to be. I wasn’t ready for him to look at me differently. Andrei had the power to change our whole dynamic.

It wasn’t that Andrei and I shared anything about life. Or at least I didn’t. Andrei liked to talk, to share his life with me, and try to make me talk. He said I was too reserved. I remember that day like it was yesterday.

It had been a warm evening. I could see the sun filtering through the windows. Shining onto the top of the show top and illuminating the cottage-like bakery. The dough in my hands stuck to my skin, lumps of a uniformed cream mass suffocating the fingers. The powdered white dust sat beside me and I felt irritated. I hadn’t thought about pouring it on the mixture before I touched it. ‘I was out of my element here’ I thought as I reached for the flour.

Andrei’s baker had abruptly called five minutes before work notifying him he couldn’t work his shift. His grandmother had fallen down the stairs and fractured her hip, hence his lack of concern for Andrei. He was the only living relative she had so it fell upon him to look after her. One missed shift would turn into dozens. The bakery was small and hidden in a remote part of Romania. The clientèle was not much besides those living in the small town from years ago, or even since they were born.

Everyone in town knew each other. When I arrived I had my doubts about staying in this place because of that same reason. I would be the talk for weeks and I couldn’t risk so many people questioning my presence. Except, I was lucky.

One evening, I sat in a small and dark corner of a bar near the outskirts of the town where it was most probable to see an outsider. Two men sat a couple of feet away from me, talking fairly loudly. Out of boredom and desire to know the people I might have been seeing every day, I heard and studied their moments. Taking notes about their behaviors and storing them far into the file I had on humanity. Their voices were cheery as they ate pastries that I was sure to not be from the small bar.

“This is so good! I can’t believe I haven't tasted a pastry this good since I left,” he moaned loudly in reaction to the puff on his hand. The crumbly dessert spilling powdered sugar all over his dark gray pants. “Andrei hasn’t lost his touch.”

“Who is this Andrei you talk so highly of?” The older male asked the seemingly young partner. The man wore an expensive suit, not one that could be found here and from what I gathered from their conversation, he had not grown up here. But his friend did. What he said next grabbed my attention the most.

“His bakery is pretty hidden in the town. Someone that didn’t know the road would not find him. He used to be a criminal, on the run and all that. But since he got out of prison he became a baker. the man sure has a gift. I don’t even know why he went to jail, because the man is a sweetheart. I think he was just dealt a bad hand.” The man kept munching on his pastry as he talked. The vowels all merging to create a soundless blob. I swore he said more but that was all I could understand and by the face of his friend, he understood less.

“It’s such a small town. Why was it never known?”

“I don’t know. Rumor has it that he was born here but left, something to do with his family. He came back years later, on the run from some people. People we assumed to be the police. Of course, the police followed his trail and eventually found him here. Two years later. He hid pretty well if, you asked me. He treats people with respect but he never talks about himself. He has always been reserved when it comes to his life, only telling small details that lead to nothing. You know, not enough to form a life picture…”

Before he finished talking, I was out of my seat, walking towards the pair. I plastered an innocent look on my face, one I had studied and perfected many times since coming to earth. I relaxed my posture, knowing I had been tense and tucked since I entered this town. I still can’t believe I was social before. Nobody would believe that if I told them now.

“Hey, those pastries look marvelous!” I said in a cheery voice when I reached the pair. Both of their heads whipped towards my direction, curiosity written in their faces. I could hear the questions in their head about me and where I came from and what I looked for in town. Typical gossiping mortals. I wanted to cut the tie between our heads, feeling bad about corrupting the men’s thoughts. But I couldn’t, not until I had what I wanted. “Do you know where could I find them?”

“Sure thing. What’s your name, sweet thing?” Sweet thing, that’s funny. If he had been into the American news he would not say that.

“Calypso. Do you know where the place is? Can you explain it to me?” I said, trying to hide the hurry in my voice. His thoughts were front seat in my mind, not wanting to miss a thing.

“So eager.” He chuckled. Instead of the route, I was expecting, he thought about my naked form and countless sexual images began replaying. I resisted the urge to impale his backside, taking a deep breath and counting to ten. I played his game. I battered my eyelashes and looked at him from hooded eyes. I bit my lip gently and walked closer. Sneaking a glance at his friend, I noticed he was no longer looking at us. He seemed uncomfortable and had turned to his coffee and pastries. I wish I had a coffee to turn to.

“Maybe you could take me there. If you remember the way, of course.” He smirked and grabbed the jacket slung over the wooden chair he sat on. His friend looked at us, startled as if he wasn’t expecting my response. However, the joy of his friend would be short-lived. Images of the way to the small bakery filled my head and I smirked. Before he could take my hand to guide me to his car I asked for the restroom.

As soon as I came in, my eyes searched for some window I could use to leave unnoticed. And I found it in the corner of the bathroom beside one of the huge black and white mirrors. I locked the door and hurried to open the window, sliding through the door. The darkness of the night didn’t face me but my alert was high. Everybody could hide in the dark. My heart rocked against my chest as I saw the same guy from early waiting beside his car. I hurried along the alleyway, pulling my hood up and hiding my hair, disappearing into the dark.

“Calypso, boy for you.” I was brought from my memories by the rough voice of Andrei. Whoever didn’t spend much time with him would think he was mad all the time thanks to his voice and forever furrowed white bushy eyebrows. I matched the furrowing of his eyebrows when he mentioned a boy. I had been careful enough to not get attached or get anyone attached to myself so the mention of another human being besides Andrei spooked me.

Suddenly, the thought of agents looking for me or the usual threats I had filled me with panic. I heard the thunderous beat of my heart. The tremble of my hands disrupted the beautiful form of the pastry in my hands. quickly cleaning and taking away the apron full of white dust, I walked to the front of the door.

A dark-haired man in his early twenties stood next to the door with a blue box in his hands. A white shimmering ribbon adorned the delicate box, wrapping silkily around it to form a well-done bow. The chiseled bone structure of his profile caught my breath as he looked to the small, underpopulated plaza in the corner of the rondure. The curvature of his roman nose and the thin shape of his lips sticking in his profile.

I saw him regularly at the small bakery. His usual was a Papanaşia with a black strong coffee. He left three dollars on the tip jar three times a week and I noticed if he was overly happy, he would leave a fiver regardless of the day or how many days he had tipped. I had seen him mad twice in the store. Seemingly, he was one of those guys that harbored every trouble inside in a chaotic turmoil. I knew because I had invaded his mind one of those times. Curiosity had gotten the best of me, knowing he was always the type of guy that carried the sun on his shoulder. Every time he caught my attention, I tried to remind myself that he could’ve been an agent sent by Hydra to kill me or worse, kidnap me.

“Hello. What can I help you with?” I said, confidence laced in my voice. The confidence I did not expect to have. His head whipped towards me. A smile broke on his face at the sight of me. I saw the fidgeting of the box in his hands and the sudden bobbing of his knee. He didn’t appear to be harboring any secrets, or at least not deadly ones.

“Hey. I know this will probably look very weird to you but I’ve been watch- I mean not watching but I just- I,” His stammering caused a giggle to leave my lips involuntarily. My hand immediately flew to my lips, hiding the smile corrupting my face. He lowered his face but not before giving me one of those smiles that could light up a world. God, I felt sappy. He looked at me once again. “I don’t know how to do this. I definitely didn’t think it through.” He chuckled. One of his hands came up to brush his face while shaking it, side to side. I could tell he was nervous, maybe more that I initially had been.

Seeing him stammer was the cutest thing I had seen since the little green and purple flowers that grew back home and surrounded our palace. So, I decided to help him a bit. “You could start with your name,” I said, trying to not smile too much. Agent, agent, agent…

“God, you probably should’ve done that first. Nice one.” He said, more to himself than for me to hear it. “I’m Razvan. It's lovely to finally meet you.” I shook his hand. It was rough yet soft with elongated fingers caressing my own small and thin one.

“Calypso.”

“What I meant to say, you know, before I shot myself in the foot was that you caught my eye since I first saw you. Now, I swear I'm not stalking you because it could be easy to think after the horrible introduction I just did. But, yeah, I would like to get to know you, if that’s okay with you.”

I did think about it. I swear I did. I thought about how he could be linked to Hydra and if you searched on the deepest paranoid corner, the Avengers. I thought he could’ve been just a random murderer whose floor I had shaken. My voice of reason said no. and with the saddest feeling settling my stomach, I told him what I thought. Or tried to.

“I’m sorry, I-I can’t. You seem like the loveliest person b-but I…” For some reason, I couldn’t just say no. “Can I think about this?” That was the only thing that came out of my mouth while I tried to get the words ‘go away and ‘don’t speak to me’ out of my mouth. His smile faded a bit, but even then he tried to keep his positivity and bright personality on. I could feel the waves of disappointment once I started speaking but hope soon came flooding back.

“Sure. I'm a complete stranger coming here every day just to see you. I can see how that’s alarming. take your time.” He shook his head as if realizing what he had just said. He chuckled and I tried to give him a small smile. Before I could turn away and leave, I felt him touch my elbow. I jumped back.

His brows furrowed quickly. “Forgive me. This is for you. And please accept it.” I thought about refusing but this would only prolong this meeting, pushing me to accept a company I wasn't ready for. I took the small box, my hand already trying to open the shimmering blue box. “No, please. Open it later, more calmly and everything and you can tell me whenever you’re ready if you like it.” I gave him a smile, which he returned brightly before diving back inside the back of the store.

Once inside, I undid the delicate ribbon, watching it dissolve like seafoam by the lovely blue water. The glistening gold chain with a tiny, colorful Koi fish rested in the center of the box. My heart swelled and I felt a way I hadn’t felt since Bucky. He remembered what I had told him that first, and the only time we had talked before today.

The voice of Andrei brought me out of my stupor with a jump. A hand traveled to grasp my heart while the other held the box tightly.

“Razvan is nice guy.” His voice was gruff and deep like it had been since I had met him. He walked behind me and grabbed a pack of flour to dump beside me. I looked towards the other and realized I was running out of it.

“Do you know him?”

“Yes. Comes every day for two years. Great boy.”

When I didn’t say anything, he stopped cutting open the pack of flour and turned to look at me. “You too reserved. Not want to end like Andrei alone. Give guy chance.” That was all he said before he left. A tall wrinkly woman with short red hair calling out for him.

The last thing I thought that day after he left drove me to the same road he had set me on. I didn’t want to end alone or die alone for that matter. But what was I to do if everyone thought I was a selfish monster who just wanted to kill and bring chaos? The only person who didn’t feel that particular way was the same man I was leaving without saying goodbye.

Stark seemed to have gathered his words together because he suddenly began spewing some shit on Andrei. shit, he didn’t like it.

“The girl is no selfish girl. Only a fool like yourself would think so. Only a blind man would propose such a thing.” His brows were furrowed but Otherwise, he was calmly standing at the bottom of the stairs sipping his milk. He seemed like he would continue but I made sure to stop him

“Andrei, no.”

“I see. She holds you hostage and controls you, doesn’t she?” Stark countered, a smirk settling in his features. I pinched my nose, sighing loudly.

“You have to leave with this buffoon?” I walked down to his side, muttering an annoyed yes. “I’m sadder for you than him.” A chuckle escaped him as he hugged my shoulders with one arm. I tried to push him away but found no will to do so. I would miss Andrei. He felt like the father I never had. Worry settled in my stomach knowing I had been here and I would no longer be if anything happened to him. I hugged him back, despite my better judgment and the four pairs of eyes staring back at me.

“Don’t forget about me, violet. Nor dear Razvan.’ He told me after letting me go. I nodded before calling back to my two companions. Stark came down, slowly walked to the front door. Bucky at his heels. They both turned. Bucky’s face had some sort of emotion I couldn't decipher. I thought I could, but I doubt he would feel happy about finding someone genuine to spend my days with.

Stark, on the other hand, looked at Andrei as if he had grown an extra head.

“I’m confused. Aren’t you supposed to be dying at her touch or something? Are you sure she didn’t threaten you to act this way?” The funny thing was, he sounded genuinely confused. The skepticism in his voice hurt my feelings but the mere fact it was stark made me forget quickly. He was an insensitive prick with a personal vendetta.

“Take this fool away before I turn him into a human pastry,” Andrei commented. I walked towards them, chuckling. “Ai grijă, violet aprins.” Take care, fiery violet. The elder said before we shut the door behind us. my heart swelled at his words. I knew I would long for those quiet evenings where it would rain and we would sit down in the living room with a book, quietly enjoying our presence. We laughed and made new and invented pastries in the kitchen for days, always looking for new and innovative flavors. I would miss the man that had treated me like his daughter.

“Take care, Pop.” I whispered to myself. Not thinking a long-haired blue-eyed soldier would hear.

And just like that, we disappeared quietly into the night and I said goodbye to one of the most important people in my life.

James let me know they came in the Quinjet, that enormous thing I had refused to sit on two years ago. the walk was not far from where we were and we found it in a while.

The Quinjet was hidden behind one of the buildings next to the bakery. the gigantic thing sleeping while we arrived to climb up. clint stood outside, his arms crossed. that man always looked like he was in a power pose.

“Romania? What is it with chased people and Romania?” Confusion and genuine interest were written all over his face.

Barton had always been a friend before I knew the truth. Nat told me she had told him in a drunken stupor. he tried to talk to her about telling me but she didn’t listen. I didn’t hold it against him because I knew he wasn’t actively participating but he didn’t do anything either.

I shrugged. “It’s a good hiding place. too many criminals organizations for you to matter. nobody cares who the hell you are as long as you keep quiet.”

“Good shadow place.” Bucky added as he tried to help me get in the Quinjet. I ignored his hand, focusing on Clint’s face.

“Exactly.” My response was clipped. if he was fishing for a normal conversation he was in for a treat.

After a while, we took off. My legs became restless as I sat in front of Stark and Bucky while Clint piloted the flying thing. boredom pushed me to get up from my seat and walk towards the front of the Quinjet. that, and Straks glare along with the awkwardness of Bucky’s movements.

Clint’s focused face came into view as I sat beside him. silence engulfed the both of us before he broke the silence with some words I didn’t expect.

“We missed you.” it was a quiet remark but full of shocking force. I just sat there, wide-eyed looking towards the already clearing sky. I looked towards him and forced myself to respond. a scoff came out of me, causing Clint to look rapidly towards me.

“You have no reason to believe me, but it’s the truth. Nat was pretty shaken up when you left. we looked for you everywhere and decided you didn’t want to be found. that you needed some time. it took you longer than we thought.”

“You didn’t find me because you didn’t look. You don’t have to lie to me, Barton.” I said, masking the hurt I felt with anger. why keep lying to me? I knew they didn’t care sop they didn’t need to act as they did.

“What? we did loo-” He never finished his sentence since Stark’s voice boomed around the small space. he came to let us know where would land soon as if we didn’t know already. Clint was the pilot, it was impossible for us to not know. suspicion arose in my chest but I soon forgot it when I saw the massive compound below us.

✹✹✹ I would be lying if I said my stomach wasn’t fluttering and my hands trembled slightly. I subtly rubbed my hands in my jeans, hoping to get some moisture away. But, there was something else bothering me. It had been there for a little while. The emptiness in my chest divided in two, as though… I don’t even know. The doors slid with a swift sound and my heart rate hit new floors.

I tried to avoid showing any emotion I felt. Seeing them surrounding the long table, all in their daily clothing made it hard to remember. I couldn’t show the happiness of seeing them all right after two years. Nor could I show the excitement deep in my bones seeing Wanda’s face. I couldn’t forget the damage (situation) those high-held beings made to my heart.

I looked at them with a mask of indifference firmly placed.

Wanda was the first to step forwards, as I knew she would. I didn’t expect her to but a part of me screamed how she had been the only real friend through the year I spent in this cage. I resisted the urge to hug her, touch her, and receive the reassurance I so deeply wanted.

“I thought- we thought you were dead.” The revelation shocked me. It felt as though they couldn’t believe I was alive. But I was. The question was… why did they think so?

“Nop. Still kicking.” I replied.

“Unfortunately.” I heard Stark mutter under his breath. I rolled my eyes and resisted the urge to kick him. I could make him feel a true kick in his brain. And his ass, too.

“Y/n!” A high-pitched voice came from the corner next to me. The smiley face of Pepper Potts came rushing towards me, engulfing me in a hug. My nerve endings shot and I prayed my instinctive responses wouldn’t go through. Fortunately for me, they didn’t. Before I could even think to hold her back—which I wouldn’t have done anyway— she stepped back. Smile intact and a gleam in her eyes capable of illuminating the whole room.

“Jesus. You’ve changed so much!” Her hands settled on my shoulder, holding softly and slightly shaking my shocked frame. “I missed you.” Her vice took a sweet edge and her head lolled to the side. Her eyes scrutinized me with the look of a mother who had just seen her child after a hard year abroad. I resisted the urge to shift uncomfortably out of her grasp. I wasn’t used to this.

“Honey, leave the feral alien alone.” Tony’s voice reached my ears. “We have important matters to discuss.”

“God, Tony. Give us a break. We haven’t seen the kid in two years.” Natasha’s ______ filled the room as I saw her taking steps towards me. I noticed there were no relaxed steps but tense and wary. Her eyes held a sort of apology mixed with caution.

I just stared. Deep inside I didn’t know how to react to someone I hadn’t seen in a long time, someone who betrayed me gets closer. Her body language told me she was sorry but still cautious of my reaction but I didn’t know if I should forgive her. Her right hand stretched towards my frame. I shifted uncomfortably in place, moving slightly away from her.

I saw her eyes roam my body, noticing the discomfort. She came to a halt three feet away from me. Her lips were pursed as she let her head drop for a second. She recovered quickly, extending her same hand towards me, this time to shake my hand.

“It’s good to have you back, Y/n.”

I took her hand in mine, shaking firmly. I nodded my head towards her. My lips pursed. The movement of Wanda’s body caught my eye. She stepped closer to me, her hands nervously trembling beside her big, red jumper.

“Can I hug you?” Hearing those words coming out of her froze the ongoing flow of blood through my veins. I was shocked, to say the least. I bet I looked like a gaping fish as an incomprehensible string of detached words escaped my lips. Everyone else seemed as surprised as I was. For completely different reasons I would bet. As Stark had said, they thought I was a free being.

She waited patiently, probably aware of the shock and ongoing battle I had inside me. She was the only one aware of my thoughts about showing anything besides contempt. And she knew why. But I sent it all to hell and for once, I did what I wanted to do. I nodded.

Her smile was worth enough as she moved quickly towards me, as though worried I would change my opinion. Her thin arms wrapped around my neck, my lack of height apparent as my 5’1 ass reached her shoulders. I resisted the urge to cry as I wrapped my arms around her back, relishing in a familiar face that didn’t hate my only existence.

“I missed you.” It was a whisper, only for me to hear. A small smile escaped my lips as hope blossomed in my chest. Hope that maybe I wasn’t a lost cause. Hope that maybe someday I could have a family.

“I did too, Red.” I murmured back. Careful to not raise my voice as I didn’t want anyone to know anything. I felt oddly vulnerable to be hugging someone let alone hugging someone in front of seven people. I noticed Vision staring and I gave him a subtle nod, a small smile creeping upon my lips. He nodded back with that usual blank expression not in compass with the feelings he harbored. After some time, I let her go before Stark had another remark to make.

I noticed Steve leaning against a far-away table, maybe ten feet away from where I was. His head lowered, eyes on the ground. His arms surrounded his build, hugging himself with a heavy frown on his face. He didn’t want to look towards me and I thought I knew why. He was ashamed of what he did. He was guilty anyway you looked at it. He was guided by Bucky to do everything. He followed the man despite knowing it was wrong. Not because your friend tells you to throw yourself out the window means you’ll do it. He knew full well what was wrong and right. He knew Barnes' proposal was as low as a man could get.

If he didn’t apologize and acknowledge what he did, he was dead to me. I mean, he had tried to apologize that day, but I was devastated and no words came through my anger.

There were a few handshakes and subtle nods here and there before I noticed a presence missing. I looked around for the usual big man with an overinflated sense of heroism but didn’t find him. He was big enough for anyone to spot him. I felt a pang in my chest and a tingle at the back of my head and I knew something was wrong. The air shifted and my hands started trembling slightly.

“Where’s my brother?” I asked, my voice slightly shaky. I tried to compose myself, knowing he had to be alright or I would’ve felt something.

“We don’t know. We couldn’t get a hold of him.” Natasha replied. I noticed the subtle worry etched in her face lines.

Suddenly, I understood that emptiness inside me. That swirling emotion unlatched to an earthy body. One of the connectors inside of me, besides bucky’s, was empty. It didn’t have any energy to connect to.

No.

No.

No.

I didn’t realize I began hyperventilating while the word repeated itself over and over in my head. My chest rose and fell quickly while the air got caught in my throat. My hand shot out to grasp anything in reach I could hold myself up with.

“Y/n?! What’s wrong?” Wanda was the first to step forward and grab my elbow. Her soft touch didn't completely register in my sensory sense. The only thing in my mind was the heavy colorless fog swirling around in my insides.

The worst part was, I didn’t know which of my brothers it belonged to. I thought about them and how long it had been since I had seen them. Since I had been with them.

“Can you all excuse me?” I pulled myself together and without waiting for a response, I hurried across the room. I thought about the me that they just saw but somewhere deep down, I didn’t care.

I hurried, passing Steve's body. This time, he looked intently at me. I didn’t expect him to stand up and grab my shoulders. By this point, my vision was blurry and I tried hard to reconnect with the missing life essence.

“Y/n, I-”

“Can we do this later, Rogers?” I spat, cutting him off before getting my elbow out of his grasp. I left, shuddering and feeling a wave of anger rising in my chest.

What a good way to make a comeback.

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[clairecrive]

hello!! can you maybe write a nikolai x reader (she’s a heartrender) and they’ve been best friends since childhood and finally got together during the war, and he proposes to her once he becomes king? And she’s scared to say yes because the country might not want a Grisha queen but she eventually says yes?

Love Story

a/n: I missed my boy and so here's a fluffy piece for him. Thanks for requesting anon, hope you like this! x

Warning: none, pure fluff

Word count: 2.1K

Tags: @jupiterandbutterflies, @randomoutsiders, @agentsofsheilds, @for-bebbanburg, @pansysgirlfriend, @hannaxmaria, @vintagebitc

(if you want to, you can add yourself to my taglist by filling this form)

SHADOW AND BONE MASTERLIST

It was late when Nikolai walked into his room. It always was. He was the first one to get up and the last one to go to bed, assuring that everything was going as it was supposed to.

Such was the life of a king.

Well, Nikolai wasn't king yet. But with his father's illness, it won't be long 'till he was.

He had been dreaming about this all his life. Hell, this was everything he had trained to be. Ignored every rumours and gossip and slander, focused only on one thing: becoming the man that Ravka needed.

And now the moment had finally come.

Nikolai could barely believe it. Yes, he was ambitious and skilled. He knew that he was the right person for this job. Either way, he was nervous.

Whenever he pictured this moment as a young boy, he had always thought that it'd be the end. The coronation being the cusp of his personal fulfilment.

But things had changed.

Now his coronation didn't hold any finality to it. It felt like the beginning of something new if anything. Something that Nikolai had been extensively planning for and was extremely excited for. But since it was something new, something that had never been done before, the uncertainty of how it could go made him a bit nervous.

Because now he wasn't alone.

A fierce heartrender had become his partner, his confidante, his better half.

Trying to be as silent as possible, Nikolai quickly undressed before joining you to bed. It was routine for you. Nikolai would come home late, you'd be deep in slumber by then, but he would always hold you close to him and kiss your neck to warn you of his presence. That would usually wake you but you'd never get angry. Actually, you were the one that told him to let you know when he got back. If only to make sure that he was okay.

"All good love, go to sleep." He'd whisper then in your ear. You wouldn't move, only wiggle close to him and pull his arm over your body so that you could hold his hand.

To be fair, you had always been a constant in Nikolai's life. You had met when you were both children. He was known for being restless, always escaping his nanny's hold to go on "adventures" as he'd call them. They'd usually entail climbing over trees or exploring paths in the forest that he had never seen.

One day, during one of his quest, he had put into his head that he needed to climb the biggest tree he could find. It was easy enough to spot his challenge but doing it was another thing.

He had been able to climb a few feet, his short stature and slender limbs aiding him in his endeavour. Looking down to assess his progress, he was confident he could really make it. Overconfident really. Because too busy loading over his abilities, he didn't notice that his foot was not hovering over a branch.

So when he went to confidently put all of his weight on it and it was met with nothing, he lost his balance. He tried to grip with all his might to the branches he was holding in his hands but he wasn't strong enough. And so, he fell.

Thankfully, he hadn't climbed high enough for the fall to be fatal. But it was enough to severely injure him.

At first, the impact of the ground left him out of breath. His head hurt too. It was only when he tried to stand that he noticed that his leg was bent at an unnatural angle.

There wasn't any blood but the sight was enough to send baby Nikolai in a panic. His breath turned hollow and frantic and now that he was aware of the injury, pain shot through his leg making him sob.

It was for the noise he made that you had been able to find him.

You were also wandering around the forest but for less nefarious intent though. You had a book under your arm and you were looking for a quiet spot to read. Needless to say, as soon as you heard his wails of agony, the book fell discarded on the ground as you run toward the noise.

When you reached him you tried your best to get him to calm down. He was hyperventilating by then. You weren't that far in your training to be able to slow his heartbeat or put him to sleep. But you were skilled enough to soothe him with your touch.

That and Nikolai was too caught up in looking at you, this stranger who was trying to help him.

While you couldn't actually heal him, you kept him company until someone eventually found you.

That was how your friendship had begun until it had bloomed into something more as you grew up.

Unbeknown to you, your relationship was about to reach another mark. Holding you close to him, Nikolai willed himself to put his plan in action tomorrow.

As his coronation grew closer, he grew more and more restless. He needed to do this as soon as possible.

The next day went by as usual. When you woke up Nikolai wasn't next to you but you found a trial with your breakfast and a handwritten note on it.

It read:

"An hour before the sun sets, meet me when it all started."

While it was unusual for Nikolai to leave you little notes in his stead, the mysteriousness of it made you antsy. What could he possibly be up to?

Your day went by, as usual, a skip in you feet as you were excited about the date.

Like he had asked you, you made sure to reach that tree in the forest exactly when he asked you to.

Nikolai was already there, pacing at the foot of the tree until he noticed you standing there.

"What is going on?" Before seeing him, you hadn't thought that this meeting could be about bad news. But Nikolai looked nervous, almost scared and that didn't happen often.

"Hello, love." He greeted you walking towards you. Holding your hands in his, he raised one to his lips to leave a small kiss.

"Such a gentleman," you cooed at his gesture, his lips curling in a small smirk as a result, "what did you do?" Raising one of your eyebrows, you asked knowing that when Nikolai was so sweet it was only for two reasons: he wanted to make it up to you or he wanted to have sex. Since doing it in public places had never been appealing to him, you thought it more likely that it was the first.

"Can't a man do something nice for his better half?" He scoffed in fake hurt. You pointedly stared at him but you were smiling.

"I wanted to something nice for you," he said shyly? while shrugging your shoulders not meeting your eyes. Without waiting for a reply, he pulled you closer to the tree where you now noticed there was a white sheet laid with rose petals and candles all over it.

"Things are about to change," he said referring to his impending coronation as you reached the sheet, "and you know what I realized?"

You shook your head in reply, too enchanted by the man in front of you and the scenery around you to speak. Nikolai smiled at you, gently reaching to your face to remove a piece of hair by tucking in behind your ear. His hand gently cupped your cheek, his smile widening even more when you leaned into his touch.

"I've realized that no matter what happened in my life, where I am in the world or what name people call me, you're always the constant."

"And I don't want that to change. Ever." His eyes flicker between yours, shining with anticipation. But why? Surely he must know that you never intend to leave him.

"That it's never going to change, sasha. I'm here to stay." You assured him, your hand reaching to grab his.

His eyes flashed again, regaining their usual confident glow. He looked reassured.

"Well, you know me, my dear. Always worrying so, I hope you don't mind, but I'd like to make it official." He joked, his hands leaving your face as he kneeled.

Kneeled? He couldn't possibly...

Your breath hitched at his position. He got a little box out of his pocket before reaching for your hand again.

"Y/n, my heart, my love, the apple of my eye, you beautiful woman," he started cheekily knowing very well how calling these things would make you blush, "We were both young when I first saw you. Me making a fool out of myself by doing something stupid as per usual and you coming to save my ass. Little did I know though that that stupid adventure would give me more than a broken leg." Both of you smiled at the memory.

"if I knew that breaking a leg would be what made me meet you, I would have done sooner. And don't give me that look," he said once you glared at him, "what's a broken leg in the face of true love?" He added making you roll your eyes. Always smooth with his words. Damn him.

"Because that's what we have, a love story. And it may not be conventional with me dragging you all over the world doing reckless things, assuming different identities and everything but it's our love story. And it's beautiful, I wouldn't change it for the world. So baby, please, just say yes and make me the luckiest bastard in the world."

His words, his hopeful smile and shining eyes were too much for you to contain your tears. They were happy tears, you both knew that. There was no way you could say no to him. But at the same time, you were a bit hesitant. Nikolai painted a wonderful picture but you knew that the reality was a bit harsher.

Kneeling as well, you also gripped his hands.

"You're my whole heart, sasha, I hope you know it." You started, your voice wavering a bit. Nikolai's face fell for a moment sensing that there was a "but" coming. But it only lasted so long before his face morphed into that stubborn expression he'd always have whenever he'd set on getting something.

"I'd be a fool to say no to you, Nikolai," you added hastily hoping to rectify your mistake. "But I can't help but worry."

"You're going to be king soon and I'm not sure how much having a Grisha consort will help you."

Where his lips were pursed in confusion now they were set in a line. Knowing what was troubling you relieved him. That was easily fixed.

"So what, my love? I'll be a king and you'll be the queen. You've fought for this country just as much as I have. Besides, you're a fool if you think that I'm going to leave you just because I'll be addressed by a different title."

The hold on your hands felt reassuring, the sheer determination and honesty in his eyes even more. You knew Nikolai and you knew that he was ambitious as well as stubborn. And loyal. Your heart warmed at his words that you knew were true. He was not going to let you go.

Suddenly, the realisation of your feelings for him and his feelings for you overwhelmed you. A sob broke through your lips making worry return in Nikolai's eyes.

"Saints Nikolai, you have no fucking idea how grateful I am you fell down that tree that day." You confessed, eyes welling with tears.

"So am I, my love. My leg a bit less but..." you both chuckled.

Returning serious, Nikolai went to open the velvet box he was holding. The Lantsov's emerald. Your eyes widened when they fell on it. You had known about it but you had never seen it before.

"Nikolai-" you whispered in astonishment.

"I know it's not exactly your style but this was fit for a queen. My mother gave it to me and I want you to have it." He said sensing your hesitancy.

"Can I also have a kiss?" You asked cheekily batting your eyelids. Nikolai laughed at your antics. He quickly slipped the ring around your finger before cradling your face and pulling you close.

"You don't have to ask twice." And with that, his lips crashed on yours. He kissed you slowly at first, just your lips touching. But as soon as the realisation of what had happened dawned on him, the kiss grew frantic. His hands were in your hairs as yours were wrapped around the collar of his coat, pulling him impossibly close to you.

Life with Nikolai wasn't easy but his love was the most real thing you had ever felt. Nothing in the world meant more to you than he did. Ring or not.

[spock-smokes-weed]

I posted 3,202 times in 2022

489 posts created (15%)

2,713 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@awkwardalphajay

@gloriosa-celeste

@reyns456

@risingpilots

@badatusernames

I tagged 2,358 of my posts in 2022

Only 26% of my posts had no tags

#art - 528 posts

#lord of the rings - 268 posts

#ace attorney - 197 posts

#naruto - 171 posts

#video - 128 posts

#good omens - 124 posts

#ramblings - 115 posts

#what we do in the shadows - 113 posts

#star trek snw - 83 posts

#frodo baggins - 78 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#cons are coming back so many next year when i have a frodo cosplay put together i’ll find a con that’s semi close to home that he’s going to

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I find it so funny that the scene in the church is where Gaiman realized he wanted Tennant as Crowley. He really went “who do I know who’s both boneless and all bones at the same time, who would be great for this scene of a man trying not to touch holy ground” and then immediately decided that he needed David Tennant.

192 notes - Posted November 11, 2022

#4

Good reasons why I want canon Bi Kirk: he’s been an important queer icon for decades and I think it would be awesome to confirm that in canon and has so much story potential (both serious and wacky)

Evil reasons I want canon Bi Kirk: I want one particular senior citizen to die mad about it

228 notes - Posted May 24, 2022

#3

If even they don’t end up being anything romantic, I’m still very excited to see how Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship will be different in seasons two. Like now that they don’t have to deal with keeping up appearance with heaven and hell, they can be so much more open with their friendship and the fact that they care for each other.

I keep thinking about this season is gonna all be about heaven and hell, while also having Crowley and Aziraphale 100% not giving a shit about their old bosses and just living their best lives. That’s such a great set up for a season and I just NEED IT NOW!!!

Also I think about how John Hamm’s Gabriel is coming back, and I can’t wait to see his character of “the worst boss you hate” interact with Rebel Angel Aziraphale.

253 notes - Posted November 12, 2022

#2

One thing that’s been on my mind is how things so integral to human culture like singing, dancing, writing, making art, playing sports etc. are now only acceptable activities if you’re good at it.

I think singing it the one that gets under my skin the most cus humans fucking love music, sing ur heart our girlie, that’s what g-d made you to do. Sing and dance and write fucking poems. Do it because you’re human and not because you need to be good at it.

450 notes - Posted May 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Best thing about Return of the Jedi is that we get a lot of scenes with Luke and Vader standing next to each other and it shows just how tiny Luke is compared to Vader

See the full post

819 notes - Posted July 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[mighty-ragnarssons]

Knocked Up | Modern Vikings AU | Chapter I

Relationships | Modern Ivar x OC Summary | Ivar always thought he'd be one of those people that never find the love of their lives. But then he found her - or, as the story goes, she bumped into him. He never saw it coming. Then he had to deal with it, and all the consequences that came along. Warnings | some smut, a little angst, harassement, teenage pregnancy

You can read in AO3 as well (click here). 

Chapter 1

There was no one in town that didn’t know about the Ragnarssons, the children of the famous Ragnar Lothbrok. They were fearless, they were reckless, and they were dangerous, just like their father. That’s what everybody said.

Bjorn was the eldest, the first-born of Ragnar’s first marriage with Lagertha. There had been a daughter too, Gyda, but she had passed away terribly young. After that, Ragnar had only sons born from his second marriage, this time with Aslaug. First came Ubbe, then Hvitserk and Sigurd. All of them perfectly healthy and strong boys that, much like Bjorn and to Ragnar’s amusement, took after their father in several ways. Unexpectedly and accidentally, however, there was a fifth child, the last son of Ragnar, Ivar. 

Ivar was very different from his brothers.

Born with a bone condition, he was crippled from the start. It was not just his legs that wouldn’t allow him to ever walk on his own, but a whole lot more pain coming from his frail bones that were never to be trusted. No wonder he grew up as a vulnerable, angry, and sad kid, despite being his mother’s favorite and most protected son. And now, as he was becoming a man, people called him mad and a drunk, a wild card with whom everyone rather stay away from. Ivar didn’t mind, he preferred to be tamed than to be pitied after a lifetime of being looked down on. In fact, he would do everything in his power to remain like this. It was the only way to prove himself and stay out of his brothers’ shadow and, most importantly, his father’s to who Ivar was the least favored son, something which hurt the boy more deeply than his constant physical pain.

“Hurry up, Ivar. Crawl faster, or else when we get to the club Ubbe and Hvitserk will have gotten all the best girls” Sigurd’s voice echoed loudly through the house. 

Ivar was there a second later clearly annoyed at his brother’s mocking tone. “Last time I checked, dear brother, you need me to drive you. So shut up. Let’s go.” 

Sigurd couldn’t argue back. He did need Ivar to drive them to the club. He kept failing at taking his driver’s license. It was humiliating to have to need his crippled brother to drive him, but Ubbe and Hvistserk, the bastards, hadn’t been home. Minutes afterward Ivar was behind the wheel of his accessible SUV and off they were.

Thirty minutes later they were skipping the line to get into the club. The Ragnarssons had their ways.  If there was one circuit in which their name was known by everyone, it was the nightlife one. No party would ever start without one of them being there. Ivar and Sigurd joined Ubbe and Hvisterk in the VIP area. As usual, Ivar took a corner where he knew he’d spend the next few hours drinking, smoking, and glaring at the dancing crowd. Perhaps if someone caught his eye he’d make a move, but usually, it was more like his brothers to do that.  

“There you go” Hvitzerk handed him a joint “Don’t look so serious, Ivar. The night is young. Enjoy!” By the looks of it, it was clear that he was already a bit high. But again it was Hvitserk and unusual would be to find him sober. “A lot of pretty ladies out there. Want me to pick one for you?” 

Ivar knew Hivtserk was only joking, but he still didn’t like it. His brother, ignoring Ivar’s cold glare and much to his annoyance, started pointing out to random girls who were dancing. “Oh, look at that one. C’mon Ivar, ain’t she a treat to stare at?”  

Thankfully, Hivtserk stopped his stupid game once their oldest brother Bjorn joined them, bringing shots to everyone with the help of his wife, Torvi.

“Brother, to what do we owe the honor?” Ivar said, throwing one of his ironic smirks. 

“I bring good news. Father is going to be released from jail sooner than expected. In three months to be exact! I had to pull some strings but it’s settled”

The news was received with different reactions. Sigurd didn’t seem that happy, while Ivar was the opposite. Ubbe was the first one to hold one of the shot glasses and started the toast “To Father! To Ragnar!”

Ragnar had been in prison for almost three years due to white-collar crimes, having been convicted of corporate fraud and money laundering. His sentence would’ve been of more than ten years, but Ragnar had his ways and was able to cut a deal for five years. And now, apparently, he would only serve almost four. Throughout this time it had been Bjorn taking over the leadership of the family’s successful business, Northmen Ventures, of which all of Ragnar’s sons had become the sole shareholders just before he was imprisoned. This explained why they were one of the richest families in their Norwegian city of Bergen. 

Bjorn,  now age 30, had been the natural successor of Ragnar. Not only because he was the oldest and perhaps the favorite son of Ragnar, but also because at the time he was the only one with a university degree, having just graduated from Law School. Yet, all of Ragnar’s sons were meant to get involved with the business. At least that was their father’s wish. Ubbe, now 24, had just graduated from Architecture School but had recently joined Bjorn on the company’s executive board.  Ivar wasn’t given the opportunity to help out, something which he grudged his older brothers - for dismissing him for his age, despite the fact that he’d watch and learned as much from his father as possible since an early age. Now 19 he was a freshman in college taking Business Administration. Then there were Hvitserk, 23, and Sigurd, 21,  the ones more adamant about following in their father’s footsteps. Hvitserk was using the money they were all getting to sustain his pricy bachelor lifestyle, and so was Sigurd who dedicated most of his time to art and music. Neither tried to pursue a higher education degree. 

“Don’t get too excited. Father will be back and then what? It’s not like he cares about us.” Sigurd, the mood killer, chugged his beer aggressively “He didn’t let us visit him in prison not even once. Not even Mother was allowed to. He didn’t even care for sending a postcard for Christmas!”

“He must have had his reasons.”

“And he left us the company”

“And so what? He just wanted to prevent it from ending up in the hands of the government.  Fuck him! You might all want to play the role of doting sons, but I’m not gonna tag along” After this Sigurd stormed off.

The remaining brothers looked at one another. A little bit of what Sigurd had just said resounsed with them, but at the same time they were excited to welcome back their father. Things would be very different with him around. 

“I say we celebrate.” Ivar said, not minding Sigurd. He couldn’t wait for his father to be back so that he could prove himself once and for all. He was no longer the defenseless crippled child he was when Ragnar went away. 

Despite the good mood he was in about Bjorn’s good news, Ivar wasn’t vibing with the club’s atmosphere that night. Hvitserk and Ubbe were making out with some random girls, Sigurd was nowhere to be seen and Torvi and Bjorn had left already. Instead, he was craving for some adrenaline and he knew just the way to get it. Texting his dealer, he left the club with the help of his crutches.

Nothing was to stop him except that on the way out someone bumped into him almost causing him to lose his fragile balance. Fury grew on Ivar who was about to yell at whoever made the mistake of infuriating him that night, but that’s when her face lost the blurriness of a few seconds ago and Ivar lost his balance again but for a completely different reason.

“Oh, no. I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to...shit” 

“Bitch, get back! For the hundredth time, you’re not getting in!” 

The girl’s expression quickly turned one of desperation. “I told you I have to. My cousin needs help! Don’t stop me, please” Her words were towards the bouncer that was now pulling her back, but her pleading eyes were on Ivar as if asking for help.  

“Hey, let her go!”  Ivar didn’t know why, but his rage got up to new levels when he saw the bouncer getting his filthy hands on her. “I said back off. Take your fucking hands off of her.”

At Ivar’s command the bouncer let her go. It didn’t matter that he was a big muscle guy, Ivar took a step towards him and faced him with a cold death stare. 

“She’s coming in with me, do you understand?”

“Ragnarsson, she is a minor. I can’t let her in.”

“I’m not asking.” 

His tone set it. He nodded so that the girl got in the club ahead of him. She didn’t even say a word, going immediately in. Ivar had to hurry himself inside to catch up. 

“Fuck, there’s so many people” she noticed looking absolutely lost.

“Let me help you.” he offered. 

“The bathrooms. My cousin... she called me, she didn’t sound fine… I’m worried something’s happened... She said she couldn’t move” she was trembling as she spoke. Ivar reached her hand with his. 

“If she is here we are going to find her.” he assured her “Follow me” 

It was not typical of Ivar to help a lady in distress but as he was guiding this girl through the crowd of drunk dancing people he couldn’t understand the need he was abruptly feeling for shielding her and, worst of all, to comfort her. These feelings left him uneased, but he was not going to dwell into that right now. If his suspicions were right and her cousin was somewhere in the club, then she was probably drugged to the point of unconsciousness and in a position to be taken advantage of. 

They swiped all the bathrooms at the club until at last they burst into one where a girl was noticeably knocked down in a corner.

“Cathrine!” the girl immediately crouched down on her cousin. “Cathrine, can you hear me?” 

“All of you, get out” Ivar demanded the girls who were inside. Some tried to complain, after all he was the guy in a female bathroom. These same girls that had paid no attention, or they just didn’t care, to the other girl on the floor. He then went outside as fast as he could and got a water bottle.

“She’s awake, but barely. Says she 's dizzy. She’s not talking right” 

“She was likely drugged” It wouldn’t be a first in that club “Make her sip some water” he threw the water bottle at them. He really wanted to level down to them, but with his crutches and all it just wouldn’t go well. “I’m gonna find help.”

 He ‘raced’ to the VIP area. Only Hivtserk was there with a girl on top of him. What was wrong with his brothers for acting as if their corner was a place of public foreplay display?

“Hvitserk, I need your help!”

“Go away Ivar” he grumbled and continued to suggestively run his hands on the brunette over his lap.

Ivar had to take the matter into his hands. The first thing he found was a leftover cocktail on the table which he threw at the girl. Her immediate squeak was so high and audible despite the deafening music. She practically jumped from on top of his brother.

“You crazy motherfucker!”

“What the fuck Ivar?”

“I don’t have time to explain. Come with me. I need your help.” 

Usually he didn't have much faith in his brothers - after all they were a pain in his ass most of the time - but this time he was really hoping to call on Hvitserk’s good senses. Fortunately his prayers were answered and his older brother followed him back to the bathroom

“What’s going on?”

“There’s a passed out girl. We need to get her out of here.”

“Would you go so far as in to get laid, little brother? Oh, you sicko” 

“This is not the time for jokes, asshole. You’re the sicko for even suggesting that”

Ivar was almost regretting getting Hvitserk to help, but the truth was that he alone wouldn’t be able to carry the girl out from the bathroom. The moment they got in there Hvitserk got a bit more serious and kneeled next to the two girls. 

“Let’s get her out of here” 

Together with Hvitserk, the girl helped raise her semi-unconscious cousin. People inside the club were so fucked up that they didn’t drop one second to look at them leaving. 

“Take her to my car” Ivar indicated and so they did. He unlocked his metallic grey SUV from afar and went on to open the backdoors where they laid the girl. “Let her get some fresh hair. It will do her good.”

“Should we take her to the hospital?” Hvitserk suggested.

A loud “No!” came from the inside of the car.

“She can’t. It will be too complicated” said the other girl but not without hinting her dissatisfaction.

Ivar finally took a moment to fully look at her. Dressed  in just a pair of jeans and a warm sweatshirt, she was lean and tall, but at least a good ten centimeters shorter than himself. Her blonde hair was tied in a messy bun with some strands falling down on her face. He had to hold the instinct to gently brush those aside. And her eyes… They were a very greyish blue color like he had never seen before. They were mirroring worry and nervousness. 

“I’m calling a cab. Thank you for your help. I don’t know what I would’ve done if it weren’t for you” she said facing Ivar and Ivar only. 

“I can drive you.” he offered without thinking.

“We already bothered you enough -”

Ivar cut her off “Nonsense. I’m going to drive you” he declares in a way that offered no other option.

Relief poured from her gaze “Thank you”

It was quite the drive, further out of Bergen’s city center. By the time they got there the passed out girl - Cathrine - had regained consciousness, albeit feeling nauseous and dizzy. Hvitserk carried her alone in his arms to the inside of the house and further into her bed. It was time enough for her to fall asleep like a rock.

“She seems just to need some rest. Keep her hydrated when she wakes up.”

“If she was drugged then it should wear off her system soon”

“Noted. I don’t know how to thank you both” 

“You could go on a date with one of us, how does that sound?”

“Hvitserk!” Ivar admonished in reaction to the girl’s shocked expression “Please, ignore my brother. He, too, has drugs that need to wear off his system”

“You’re no fun, Ivar” Hvitserk couldn’t argue back on the drugs part. “A pleasure to help, milady. Until next time” He did a silly bow and left the apartment back to the car. 

“Is he always like that?” 

 “Most of the time, yeah.” Ivar shrugged his shoulders “Hand me your phone” Because she did without complaining, he got it and put his number in there “I’m Ivar Lothbrook. Whenever you need help.”

What he really wanted to say was ‘text me’. He didn’t have the nerve for that, tho.

For the first time that night she finally showed a glimpse of a smile “Honestly, thank you. I don’t know what I would’ve done without your help, Ivar Lothbrok” 

Her hand was touching his and for a moment everything seemed to stop. The way his name sounded on her lips… A shiver went down his spine. He wanted to hear it again, but most importantly he wanted to know her name.

But in that exact moment a horn yelled. Goddamned Hvitserk. He was going to wake up the whole street, which was the opposite of what the girls had asked. “I better go drive him home now or else he’ll wake up the whole neighborhood” 

Yet Ivar was finding it difficult to leave. To leave her. Another honk made him take the necessary steps.

“I mean it when I say for you to use my number whenever. Stay safe”

He finally closed the door behind him and walked back to the car, but not before looking over his shoulder. There she was, by the window, waving goodbye with a shy smile on her face.

He needed to see her again.

The next morning Ivar woke up rather hopeful of seeing a text message. Seeing there was none, his day didn’t kick off exactly on the right terms. Throughout the day he checked his phone more times than he cared to admit and each time he grew impatient and irritated. What was it about that girl to make him like this? It’s not like he usually gave a crap about whoever he met.

“What’s wrong with you? You’ve got a right cob-on” his older brother Ubbe asked later that day when they were all chilling by the firepit  in the backyard of the Lothbrook’s home.

Although in Norway it was uncommon for people their age to still be living at home, in their case that’s how things were and worked out great most days. Usually it was just the four brothers and the house was  big enough for them not to be in each other’s ways.. Their mother, Aslaug Lothbrok, ran one the country’s finest art galleries. After her husband’s arrest she had moved her gallery to the capital city, Oslo, instead of their home city. Lately she spent most of her time there rather than at home. 

“It’s nothing. Leave me alone” 

“He’s hung up” teased Hvitserk “Still thinking about the pretty blondie from last night, brother?”

Right that moment Ivar wished he could smack the mocking smiles out of his brother’s faces. 

“Well, well, well Ivar. Didn’t know you had company last night.”

“He didn’t.  Not exactly. None of us did” Hvitserk proceed to put Ubbe on the loop in regards to their little episode last night. “Instead of asking her for her number, our little brother gave her his. Wrong move, dude.” Ivar immediately regretted telling this to Hvitserk. “Don’t be so bummed out, Ivar. There’s plenty of fish in the sea. Speaking of…”

A blonde Ivar doesn’t care much about exits their home in Sigurd’s company, both appearing content which can only mean one thing. Margrethe is a constant guest at the Lothbrok’s and probably the only female with the fame of being acquainted with all of the brothers’ rooms. Although a favorite among the Ragnarssons, to Ivar she’s nothing but an unpleasant company he is forced to tolerate after they fall out months ago. 

“If that’s the fish you’re hinting at, I’d rather go vegan” Ivar mumbled under his breath.

I hope you liked it! It’s my first Vikings fic :) Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my native language. At least five more chapters will be on the way.

[frogsmulder]

Maybe There's Hope: chpt 9 Strawberries and Syrup and Steaming Hot Waffles

Starting from the final events of 09x20 The Truth,  Mulder and Scully tackle their new reality as fugitives. When they  finally settle into things, Scully finds out she is pregnant again. A canon divergent AU where I thought, what if Scully got pregnant whilst on the run instead of at the end of season 11?

4.5k words; rated t; tagging @today-in-fic; read on ao3

The next morning, Scully woke up from restless sleep to an empty bed, an emptiness churning in her stomach. She stared up at the stained ceiling, reasoning if she ignored the feeling, it would surely dissipate. Her eyes lingered on the patches of light and shadow of the pebbles of emulsion. The grey hue of the waking sky sluggishly creeping through the blinds, as tired as Scully felt, slowly illuminated more of the room.

She turned her head to the side, to where Mulder should have been. Instead, there was only her outstretched arm and Moby, who she met eyes with. She remembered the events of the previous evening like she was a spectator to her own memory, distanced by emotional exhaustion and emptiness. A lump curdled in her throat as the phantom feeling of his tears sobbed into her chest washed over her. She wanted to cry, but she was so tired. The kind of tired that kept her awake whilst her mind reeled and numbed.

She closed her eyes and held her breath. She needed Mulder. He was the benediction to her restless calm. She needed him so much, she questioned if her dependence had morphed into a kind of addiction; if oxytocin now travelled her veins, completely replacing the blood she once knew. How deep was the transmutation? Was he the marrow in her bones?

Mustering her energy, she sat up. Instinctively her hand went to her stomach, holding the flat surface protectively. She caught herself and clenched her fist, trying to remove the itch in her palm of what it had done. Ignoring the ache that rested in her hand, she got up to check the bathroom. It was strangely quiet behind the closed door.

“Mulder?” she called softly.

When there was no answer, she turned the handle and took a deep breath. Her fears were realised when she whipped the shower curtain back and there was still no-one there. She tried to control her breathing in and out, but her heart was beating wildly, trying to escape its corporal cage to find him. Where was he? Where the fuck was Mulder? Why the hell would he leave her behind?

Because he thought she would be better off without him, he always has. He probably blamed himself for everything that had transpired yesterday; for the tears she had cried again for William. He probably thought that he had fucked everything up again, just as they were getting it right. How wrong could he be? Couldn’t he feel how desperately she needed him? He was never the root of her pain, only ever the antithesis: the balm to soothe her worry. If anyone was to blame it was her. But he wouldn’t just abandon her this far away from home, surely. A wave of nausea overcame her at her insistence at clinging to an idea of home. They didn’t have a home. She was spiralling with too many thoughts.

Clearing her mind, she focused on only one thought: Mulder.

She returned to the bedroom and scrambled to check their bag. She let out a sigh of relief when she found his change of clothes screwed up at the bottom of his side. She pulled out his jeans and grey t-shirt, brushed out the crinkles and folded them back in, but not before stopping to hold the shirt to her face. It was crisp from washes without conditioner, one the luxuries she missed the most, and smelt strongly of the bar soap she had used on them.

A sudden flash of a past life overcame her, where she had cried herself to sleep, clutching his shirt in a irrefutably similar situation. His shirts then had been soft and smelled like him and now they were neither.

Another more insidious thought found its way creeping in, seeping through the cracks of her resolve. What if... Again? She thought. What if he was gone again?

She stood and forced herself into calm mentality; rational, controlled thinking only. Was it possible that he had been abducted? Yes. Was it likely? Not beyond the realm of extreme possibility. What evidence was there to support or contradict this theory?

Critically, she surveyed their room and minimal belongings. It was then that she spied the piece of paper on the pillow, carefully tucked under the tail of Moby. As she picked it up and read it, she sighed like a deadweight had been removed from her chest and she could finally breathe again.

I didn’t want to leave you, but I couldn’t sleep and you looked so peaceful,

–It was a lie but one that made her smile–

I didn’t want to disturb you. I’ve gone for a walk and will bring breakfast back.

I love you

M

She licked her lips and cursed herself for letting her emotions have such an effect on her. Sitting down on the bed, she let all the heavy air go from her lungs, knowing that Mulder was okay, and ultimately so would she be. There was that strange belief: hope.

She looked in the mirror, her cheeks flushed, her chin soft again. How long hadn’t she known? A month? Two months? Was it possible that she had been pregnant all this time, since that first morning? As she analysed her face, she realised that the initial shock and convulsion had somewhat softened and numbed. And despite her initial impulse, she realised that she hadn’t made the decision yet. She was mostly afraid, of the pregnancy, of repeating events, of disregarding William, but somewhere she could feel a glimmer of that strange belief that this time could be different. Either way she was going to have to make plans that could risk them getting caught.

For the moment, she freed herself from her thoughts and turned on the hot shower tap.

..........

Mulder hadn’t woken so much as never fallen asleep. Time had been measured in the sweep of the sun across the room. Time had been spent crumbling in each other’s arms. Time had stilled and broken completely. He remembered the moment something had snapped inside of him, his heart shattered for Scully. The thought that her greatest concern of this mess was disappointing him. He didn’t care. All he wanted was for her to be happy. Guilt rose through him at how he had broken in that moment, how she had had to absorb his sobs rather than him comforting her. So they had folded around each other until she found a take away menu and he had seen her eat hungrily, although she tried not to show it, whilst he picked at his food.

Now, he was watching over Scully as she slept, sleep evading him. It was as if she was taking that energy from him, but he didn’t mind as long as she rested. He turned onto his back, looking up at the shadows dancing on the ceiling never really turning to total blackness. Next to him, he could still feel her warmth seeping through the bedcovers, life emanating from her, searching him out. It was too much with the early autumn heat clinging to his skin. Next to him was Scully and a child. It was too much. He couldn’t think in those terms. He needed to clear his mind.

Reluctantly, he turned over to face her again, only to say goodbye and press a kiss to her cheek. He let his gaze linger; catch her soft puffs of sleepy air; her golden mane of hair unfurled around her like a halo. She was, even in sleep, undeniably beautiful. He hated to think that it might only be a result of her... current circumstances. She was always beautiful to him, but recently there had been an essence about her that he couldn’t place his finger on. Now he supposed it was what people referred to as a glow. He remembered last time; she had certainly been glowing but the cause of that was hard to mistake when she had been eight months pregnant. He wondered if she had had the same radiance this early on.

Sighing, Mulder tore himself from the sight of her to sit over the edge of the bed. He wasn’t sure yet what he was going to do, but he started with getting dressed and followed as his feet led him towards the door. Quickly scribbling a note, he left it under the protection of Moby and left her with another gentle kiss.

His gut twisted as he walked out of the door. Somehow it felt like deserting Scully at her most vulnerable, the kind of move he might have made early on in their partnership. The exact thing that had happened when he returned from the dead. He was panicking; he was flustered. As he ran his hands over his face, Mulder leaned back against the closed door behind him. This was different, he reasoned. He’d be back before she awoke. He would always return to her. He just needed... some fresh air.

He began to walk to he didn’t know where. The air outside was cooler but only marginally, still it sent goosebumps across his flesh. The intense feeling at the hackles on his neck felt like he was about to walk into a storm.

As his feet wandered so did his mind, stretching from emptiness, to the future, back to the past in a scrabble to try and assemble some meaning.

He thought he saw a little toddler with a flash of soft strawberry-blonde hair skipping in his periphery, but every time he turned to see Emily properly, she was gone. She disappeared from his view as if she’d been a mirage all along. Another miracle too good to come true.

He doubted himself yet again; he wasn’t ready to deal with this. He was unstable: in no fit shape to be a father. He could barely provide a harbour for Scully, dragging her around the continent, untethering her from all that was familiar and cherished by her. She was more of a dependable, calming force to him than vice versa.

He stopped himself in his tracks: he wasn’t going to be a father. Scully had made that abundantly clear, so why did he keep imagining that future? The one where a tiny wriggling human would be held safe in his arms, who would look up to him and learn to call him Dadda. He realised now that it was the same way he had felt when he had last held his son, those tiny digits wrapped around his little finger, the disgruntled little frown he wore when Mulder had returned him to his crib. How long ago had that been? How much of a mess had he become in that time?

In some ways he still felt like a failure: allowing Scully to do alone the unthinkable. The deep thud in his chest ached, for his son, for Scully, and he finally realised what had been lying underneath the surface, bubbling away in his subconscious. He ached for a second chance.

In that moment he equally understood Scully’s pain and that in this aspect they were different: she did not want a second chance. For someone who lived everyday with the feeling of betrayal of their son, a second chance would be an even greater betrayal. Even though she was coming to terms with letting him go, she still carried a piece of him with her: his memory. A piece to be respected. It’s the last thing she has of him. It’s the last thing they both have.

Yet still, Mulder finds himself questioning why they can’t honour his memory and have this possibility. He can love two children equally at the same time; one safe a million miles away, another safe with them. Was it really that difficult?

He shakes the thought from his head before it takes root. And continues working along the roadside, kicking up dirt in the dusky light of dawn. A couple of miles he walks, heading towards the outskirts of a suburban town. As he walked further away, he let his thoughts settle into a low hum of feeling. The distance clarified what was important to him: Scully. Right now, Scully needed him.

An invisible tie kept him thinking of her, aching to return to her as soon as possible. It guided him around the grocery store, where he picked up ginger green tea thinking of her; bought extra waffles and syrup thinking of her; carried back two punnets of strawberries, hoping to appeal to her, knowing she wouldn’t eat the waffles without the promise of fruit. But the strawberries only reminded him of the happiness and freedom that had been snatched from them only yesterday, when they had been on top of their little world– or at least as on top as they could get. He hoped that wouldn’t upset her. Maybe he’d take her to a museum later that day to distract her a little; try and cheer her up.

The picture of her shattered soul sat in the passenger seat returned to him as the moment that had changed everything. Suddenly, the walk back couldn’t seem to go quickly enough.

..........

Mulder opened the door quietly so as not to wake Scully on his return. He first glanced at the empty bed before he heard the shower on in the next room and felt foolish for the quick stab of nausea and guilt that assaulted him. Putting his early morning gatherings on the little kitchenette table, he walked over to the en-suite door and knocked softly.

“Hey, honey, I’m home,” he joked, knowing it probably wouldn’t lighten her mood, but he couldn’t help but rely on old habits. When she didn’t respond he put his head around the door to make sure she could hear him. “Hey, Scully, I’m back. I’m just going to make some breakfast. Call me if you need anything.”

Through the steam and the shower spray he heard her sigh. “Okay.”

He was about to close the door when she called his name, tinged slightly with desperation although he could tell she was trying to hide it.

“Mulder? Could you stay... please?” She peered around the shower curtain, eyes locking with his in silent hope.

“Sure– yeah. I can stay.” And then he added tentatively, “Do you want me to come in?”

Ever since yesterday morning she has been closed off and he doesn’t blame her: he knows she needs space to process everything– always has– but there was something in the way she said his name that tugged on his heart. That feeling he got when there was something more she wasn’t telling him.

“Yeah,” she sighed again and all thoughts of breakfast left his mind.

Undressing quickly, he pulled back the curtain and stepped in. The first thing he felt was the scorching assault of the water on his skin, and then the sinking of his heart settling in his stomach at the sight of Scully. She was clutching her own waist protectively, her complexion angry-red and blotchy from the heat. He ran his hands over her arms, his touch feather-light as he assessed her. She looked up to meet his eyes and he noticed for the first time just how red they were. Painful memories sprang forward: hearing the shower run for a long time from his room, watching her walk through the adjoining door in her silk pyjamas, eyes red and a tissue under her nose, ready to talk about the case; watching her walk into the bathroom only a couple of months ago to turn the shower, hearing her muffled sobs through the thin wall. Quickly, he turned down the temperature, his eyes never leaving hers.

“Could you hold me?” Her voice was uncharacteristically small, betraying her vulnerability.

“Yeah, of course.” Mulder immediately wrapped her in the safe brace of his arms and she melted into him, warmed by slick shower spray cascading down her shoulders. He turned them sideways so they wouldn’t drown in the water. Placing his hand protectively on the back of her head, he soothed her wavering body, tucking her head under his chin. He always was her perfect fit.

“You know you don’t need to ask,” he hushed but she didn’t reply.

Instead, she adjusted her head against his chest as if she was trying to find that place where is heartbeat the loudest for her. Closing the circle, she linked her arms behind his back and sank further into his support. She sighed again as if breath was heavy for her and her thoughts weighed down in the depths of her lungs. She had words she wanted to say but they were simultaneously trapped deep inside of her and teetering on the edge of her tongue.

Eventually, she bit her tongue and took a deep breath.

“I don’t feel like myself anymore...” she started and then stopped, conscious of how the words sounded once spoken. What happened to the walls she was trying to knock down? What happened to allowing herself to be loved and cared for? Where did her openness go? She could feel the walls fly up again, powerless to stop them, not knowing how to speak.

Mulder broke through her walls, lowering the mental hurdles she faced with a kiss pressed to the crown of her head. Knowing he was on the other side, made it easier. He always made everything easier. She looked up directly into his eyes of swirling hazel, searching for his understanding, seeking it in the warm depths reflected back at her.

He encouraged her: “How so?”

“I’m all over the place... I’m paranoid... I can’t think straight.” She bit her tongue again, overcoming her final thought. “I’ve lost sight of myself.”

He nodded slowly, taking in her tumbling words. Stroking the top of her wet hair, he placed a kiss to her forehead, and then another.

“Everything’s so unfocused– I’m unfocused,” she continued, voice breaking. “What are we doing out here, Mulder?”

He stopped to consider her question the same one of many that had been plaguing him. In the absence of his answer, the steady beat of his heart reached a sprint. If Scully’s head was still laid against him, she would be deafened, he was sure. He hated not having answers, especially for her. Only one solution loomed over him and it was not the answer to the question she had asked.

“We’re not,” he said decisively, with more strength than he possessed. This had been a while coming; he never should have brought her out here in the first place.

She stepped out of his arms, the look of confusion plain across her face. His hands rested on her shoulders, thumbs softly stroking her worry away as they glided back and forth across her smooth skin.

“We need to go back. Whatever decision you make...” He hesitated and shook his head morosely, thinking. “You need medical attention.”

The quiet that seeped from her scared him. She dipped her head, watching the water drape around her body, the little rivulets gathering and dripping to her toes. It was only after he heard her little gasp ricochet against the wet tiles that he realised she had been holding herself back.

“I had the same thought,” she whispered, “even though I didn’t really want to admit it.”

Scully rested her forehead against him as she continued to look down at the bathtub floor. Slowly, her arms remembered their embrace around his middle and she shuffled closer, holding him closer, as if she was afraid of letting go.

Mulder reciprocated, tucking her under his chin, but he was still wondering how this was the situation they ended up in. He murmured to himself in his disbelief. “I don’t know what I was thinking dragging you so far away from everything. It was never safe–“

“You were thinking it was the safest option for our survival at the time. And so was I Mulder. This isn’t your fault. If anything–“

“Don’t, Scully.”

She swallowed thickly. “So, what are we going to do? We can’t go back.”

“We have to. I doubt this could have been anything permanent anyway. You need to go back, Scully,” And then he said the one thing she was willing him not to say. “Even if it means leaving me behind.”

He could feel her shake her head against his chest, could practically hear her pleading. No, Mulder, don’t do that to me, not again. Not after last time. But she didn’t say any of that. Her confession was pure and simple. She looked up at him, eyes brimming, and licked her trembling lip. “I need you.”

Cupping her cheeks, he brushed away the shower spray or tears– he couldn’t tell. He stilled the quiver of her lip with a lingering, chaste kiss.

They stayed pressed together until the seconds slipping away had no meaning. All was quiet and with that came the play pretend that they were okay. The only thing that scored the silence between them was the pounding of the water. Eventually the tension in their bodies and the air drifted down the drain. All that was left was the quiet comfort they inhabited in each other.

...

When Scully emerged from the bathroom, wet hair tied crudely in a tight bun on her head, Mulder had already got to making the waffles. He was standing with his back to her at the little kitchenette, prodding at the microwave to figure out how the settings worked. He heard her little feet pad against the floor. “Strawberries are on the side–“ he gestured in their vague direction. “–but don’t eat them all straight away: they’re for the waffles.”

“Waffles?” she asked with a lightness to her voice, spirits lifted at the promise of warm, sugary goodness.

Mulder turned then to see her, his expression softening from one of concentration when he saw she was already attacking the punnet before she was even dressed. “Yeah, I hope that’s okay.”

She popped one in her mouth and rolled her eyes in exaggerated pleasure, although he could tell she was making an effort to appear happy. “Mhmm. Did you get any cream?”

“Should I have?”

“No,” she shook her head and stole another strawberry. “I’ve just been wanting cream lately... I guess we know why now.”

A rueful smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, but it was a smile nonetheless and he could see her frown soften. Eating another one, her exaggerated moans became little noises of contentment as she worked her way through most of the punnet, unable to restrain herself as juice dribbled down her fingers and she licked them clean.

Mulder turned back to the microwave, finally figuring out the timer, and put the waffles in. Her padded footsteps on the carpet grew louder as she made her way over to him and all of a sudden, he was trapped in her arms. She caught him from behind in the middle of removing the steaming waffles from the microwave. Mulder bit back a smile of getting this impromptu breakfast treat right as she hummed into his back at the smell of the waffles wafting through the air.

“It’s okay. The idea of waffles is making my mouth water anyway.” Scully peered around his side, watching him as he grappled with the waffles, tossing them between his hands like hot potatoes before they landed on their plates.

He turned around, a prideful beam of satisfaction plastered to his face, which earned him a small smile in return. Mulder’s expression softened but became more earnest upon seeing her genuine one before saving the last of the strawberries from her.

“Mulder,” she whined good naturedly.

He placed a peck on her damp hair. “Get dressed and then we can renegotiate.”

He watched her ruffle through his dirty clothes from this morning that he had dumped by the suitcase. She held his t-shirt aloft with a prizewinning smirk and threw it on, it falling in large swathes around her smaller body.

He raised his eyebrows inquisitive at the unusual display of domesticity from her. “You’re meant to wash that one, not wear it.”

“Mhmm.” She nodded noncommittally. “I like how it smells. In a world where everything is so potent, you save me again. What would I do without you?”

He was sure she didn’t mean it that way, but a knife of ice sliced into his gut at the question that had slipped from her lips so off-hand. He hid the pain at the thought of leaving her– remaining in the shadows without her warmth– by drenching his waffles in syrup.

“Everything smells potent?” He opted for instead.

“Not potent necessarily, just stronger. Fortunately, I haven’t come across anything that smells too much.”

And she was back at his side, dipping her finger into the pooling syrup on his plate. He looked at her and her eyes widened innocently, warding off his reprove. Mulder, using his initiative, poured the syrup over Scully’s waffles as well, topping them off with the rest of the strawberries sliced neatly into quarters.

“Is that a pregnancy thing?” he cautioned, curious but not wanting to overstep her realm of comfort.

“Yeah,” she sighed, deflating once again. He bit his tongue.

They sat on the bed– there being little room at the side table– apprehending glimpses of each other, pretending not to notice. Scully eyed Mulder’s half eaten plate; it was unlike him to not finish a full plate of food. Worry gnawed at the waffles she’d eaten, where his went untouched, a poor strawberry pushed around the plate, swimming in a current of syrup. She looked up at him, watching him chew the inside of his cheek instead of his food, holding steady even though the urge to turn away before he caught her was strong. He caught her. But her countenance must not have betrayed the fear she felt as he grinned and booped her nose with the strawberry on the end of his fork. The anxiety inside of her broke along with a laugh from her belly.

“Mulder!” she laughed for the first time in what felt like years, failing to admonish him. “I’ve already had a shower!”

Mulder broke into laughter too, unbidden.

“Scully, I think you might have something on your nose.”

She rolled her eyes playfully and stretched her tongue to try and reach her nose but Mulder beat her to it, licking off the stickiness and replacing it with kisses. Her hands instinctively found his hair and his kisses moved to capture her giggles. Abruptly, he became heavy in her arms, as if the weight of the world had loaded itself back onto his shoulders. He took rest against her forehead like a weary traveller, leaning into her.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed.

“I know.” She kissed him back. “Don’t be.”

[inkweaver22-blr]

Welcome to lucky chapter 13!

A few announcements before we begin!

First, we got fan art! Shout out to @ooflifeshard for their art of the Jin/Yin/Tang fusion!

Second, I post extra thoughts on my writing process and the chapter in general on my Tumblr! Look up the tag Fanfiction Live Blogging to read them!

Now let’s get on with the story!

AO3 Link

<Previous | First | Next>

Scattered Cicadas - Chapter Thirteen: Aspects of Arachnids

The Spider Clan is made up of some interesting people. That includes MK this time.

----------

“So what did you want to talk about Mr. Tang?”

They were taking a walk through a secluded park. Tang had asked to speak with the young man privately once he had woken in this cycle to address a recent memory he had received.

“I wanted to apologize to you, MK,” Tang said. MK tilted his head in confusion.

“What for?”

“For the way I treated you last week.”

MK tensed.

“I- I don’t know what you mean,” he said.

“MK.” Tang turned and placed his hands on MK’s shoulders, looking him in the eye. “It’s okay. I know.”

“Know what?” MK was trembling now. He avoided Tang’s gaze, wide eyes darting around as if to look for a place to hide.

Tang gave him a reassuring squeeze and kind smile.

“I know you are the spider demon we saw.”

Last week had been before Tang had woken in the cycle. They had all rushed over to where MK had been fighting a demon alone only to find a spider demon they had never seen before wearing MK’s jacket and bandana while holding the Monkey King’s staff.

The group had, predictably, reacted with hostility. They threatened the demon and attacked him. They hadn’t been able to actually harm him before he got away, and MK had shown up perfectly fine the next day.

Physically at least.

When Tang had gone over the memories earlier this morning, it was obvious to him who the demon actually was. It certainly wasn’t the first time MK was something other than human.

He was also able to see the signs of emotional distress MK was showing over the past week. It was clear that their reaction to his true form was devastating to him.

Tang intended to fix that.

“I didn’t figure it out until this morning,” Tang said when it was clear MK had frozen in fear and wasn’t going to say anything. He pulled him into a tight hug. “I’m so sorry I didn’t see it right away. You are very important to me and I am ashamed to have made you feel like you were unwanted.”

“You- You don’t mind?” MK clung tightly to the scholar, as if afraid he’d vanish at any moment.

“Of course I don’t. What you are or what you look like isn’t important to me. What matters is who you are and I happen to care about the person you are quite a lot.”

Tang held the young man as he trembled in his embrace. He pulled away after a few minutes, wiping his eyes and giving Tang a watery smile.

“Thank you, Tang.”

“Any time, MK.”

“Do the others know?”

“I haven’t told them anything,” Tang said as they continued their walk. “This is your secret and you should be the one to reveal it when you’re ready.”

“But what if they react like last time?” MK kicked a rock out of his path and seemed to fold into himself. “What if they don’t want to be friends with something like me?”

“First off, that would be pretty hypocritical of them considering both Pigsy and Sandy are technically demons as well and Mei is descended from a dragon. That actually makes me the odd one out in our group as the only human.”

“Huh. Didn’t think of that,” MK said.

“Second, I know they all care about you, MK. I sincerely doubt they wouldn’t be able to look past appearances and see the person we all love.”

“Love?” MK stared wide eyed at Tang.

“I like to think of us as a family,” Tang said. “Even if we aren’t the typical kind, families love each other, and you are a part of that.”

“Family…” MK smiled sadly into the distance. “It would be nice to have more family.”

“There is no ‘would be’ about it.” Tang slung his arm around MK’s shoulders. “We are family and you’re stuck with us no matter what.”

MK gave him a wide grin, leaning into the sideways hug as they continued on their path.

“Aren’t you curious by what I meant by ‘more family’?”

“Of course I am,” Tang said. “But it’s not my place to pry. If you want to talk about that then I’d be more than willing to listen.”

“Oh, well okay,” MK said, perking up a bit. He began to enthusiastically speak about his other family, but never giving any names.

Tang was able to piece together who he was talking about rather easily.

The Spider Queen was his mother. It wasn’t much of a surprise for Tang as she had filled that role for MK in the past, but never quite so literally. From what MK was saying, she seemed to still be that lovingly supportive yet protective type that he had encountered in previous cycles.

The fact that she was a much more active villain in this cycle that MK constantly fought was not addressed.

Huntsman was ‘Uncle H’. He seemed to be the type of person that gave small children lessons on knife wielding just so they could protect themselves. MK had learned all his combat skills in his spider form from him.

Huntsman was certainly a focused and skilled combatant, but, as his many friendships with Sandy across time showed, he also knew how to enjoy the quieter moments in life.

That left Goliath as ‘Uncle G’. The large spider may seem like just a brute who relied on his strength, but Tang had witnessed his soft side a few times. MK spoke fondly of the lullabies Goliath had sang when he was still little as well as his delicious cooking.

Tang wondered how it compared to Pigsy’s creations and mused on how he could try and get a cook off set up.

MK did not speak of Syntax. That made sense as it was still somewhat early in the cycle and the scientist hadn’t really joined up with the spiders until after Demon Bull King’s second invasion.

Tang did his best to recall what he knew about the man. They had been friends and colleagues once in a cycle where they had been professors at the city university.

Syntax could be a bit standoffish to those he didn’t know. Once he warmed up to you though, he loved to go on long tangents about chemistry, biology, and computer engineering. He could also be surprisingly thoughtful, having dropped by several times with an extra cup of coffee on those late nights Tang had been stuck in his office grading papers.

Tang never knew why he started working for the Spider Queen. The scientist had always been a bit ambitious, so he supposed working on something as unique as a serum using bits of the Monkey King’s power was more than enough to sway him.

It was a shame the serum was then used against him and he seemed to lose all memories of his human life.

Tang forced himself back into the present as MK finished up an anecdote about Huntsman and Goliath nearly panicking after MK had fallen asleep in his hiding spot during a game of hide and seek.

“They all sound wonderful,” Tang said once MK had finished.

“Yeah, they are.” MK sighed wistfully. “I haven’t spoken to them in a while though.”

“Why not?”

“It’s… Complicated.”

Tang could certainly understand that considering how they fought each other on a nearly weekly basis.

“Well whatever the reason, it sounds like they care about you just as much as we do,” Tang said. “I’m sure they’d be more than happy to welcome you back into their lives.”

“I know that,” MK said with a huff. “I’m just not sure they'd approve of me being the Monkey King’s successor.”

“I see.”

Tang did see. He had been a part of demon families before and knew how leaving one’s blood to side with an enemy could tear relationships apart. He hoped that wouldn’t happen here with MK.

“In any case, I just hope you know that you have people that care about you and if you ever need help to just ask, okay?”

“Yeah, I know. Thanks Tang.” MK gave him another smile before frowning in thought. “I’m still not sure if I want to tell the others though.”

“That’s perfectly fine,” Tang said. “If you aren’t ready then you aren’t ready. I won’t say anything to anyone before you do.”

“Really?”

“I promise.”

The rest of the walk was spent discussing lighter subjects such as the latest Monkey Cop movie and which types of noodles were superior.

Tang decided to not bring up his curse this cycle. He knew he could get around the memory seal by simply stating he had a curse but not exactly its effects, but MK already had quite a lot to deal with this time. He didn’t want to add on to that stress with something that couldn’t be fixed.

He hoped that the Spider Clan would come to accept MK as he was, successor to the Monkey King and all. Not just for his sake either, as Tang could already feel four spots slowly opening up in his heart where he kept his love for his family.

It would be hard to bring them into the fold. Much harder than Macaque, the twins, or even the Demon Bull Family.

But Tang was patient.

He would use this cycle to get to know the spiders better. They were already MK’s family this time around.

Perhaps, in time, they could become his as well.

----------

Things went to Hell rather quickly.

New Years went the same as usual, but this time with the added horror of a mutated Macaque.

The shadow demon had been willingly experimented on by Syntax after he had failed to steal the Monkey King’s powers from MK. He now sported an extra set of arms and eyes, had lavender fur, and was in constant pain from the modifications. Wukong had offered him sanctuary, and Macaque had accepted.

MK hadn’t taken it well when he learned that it was his mother who had convinced Macaque to go through with the procedure.

Now something even worse was happening. This was a cycle that not only changed MK’s background, but someone else’s as well.

Lady Bone Demon was much more impulsive this cycle.

She had attacked them all directly this time, before even gathering up the artifacts she needed. They had all been overwhelmed pretty quickly and everyone except MK had been captured. She had then given him an ultimatum.

Give her the Monkey King’s power, or MK’s family would perish.

Lady Bone Demon then ‘graciously’ gave MK twenty four hours to think about it before teleporting away with her captives.

“Hey, where are you taking him?!”

Tang glanced up as he realized that he hadn’t been placed in the same cell as his family. Pigsy and Mei glared at the skeleton guards while Sandy tended to the unconscious Wukong and Macaque.

“Boss only wants five to a cell,” guard one said.

“Hope your friend here isn’t afraid of spiders,” guard two mocked.

Tang blinked at that as the others began to protest loudly. The guards simply laughed and led him away.

Well, he had wanted to get to know the Spider Clan better this cycle, hadn’t he?

After being marched down many winding corridors, Tang was thrown unceremoniously into a different cell.

Tang picked himself up and was confronted with the scowling faces of the Spider Queen and her entourage. They had certainly looked like they had seen better days.

After demanding why he was there, they had dismissed him and went back to trying to come up with a way to escape.

They had mused about eating him for a bit, Huntsman even going as far as to restrain him and brandishing a knife, before Tang had been forced to break his promise to MK. They were skeptical at first, but once Tang began telling the stories he had heard from MK, they believed him.

Spider Queen was emotionally distraught at the thought of harming her baby, but became more resolved than ever to beat Lady Bone Demon once she realized they were being used as hostages against her son.

Huntsman had been a bit more accepting, bragging about how the only reason MK had beaten them so often was from all the training he had given him. Goliath had just asked if he was eating well.

Syntax had been standing off to the side looking uncomfortable before Tang assured him that MK would be more than happy to get to know him.

The Spider Clan had invited Tang into their scheming quickly afterwards. None of their plans were very feasible, but Tang felt his connection to the four grow stronger.

Strange were the bonds you could make when in prison.

Before they could act on any of their plans, the twenty four hours were up and they were whisked away by the magic of their captor.

Tang opened his eyes to find the ten of them suspended in the air by blue ropes as Lady Bone floated in front of them. On the ground was a horrified looking MK.

“Now it is time you choose,” she said. She reached out and grabbed Tang and Spider Queen by their arms, pulling them forwards. “Your powers? Or your family?”

“Don’t listen to her, baby,” Spider Queen called out. “We’ll be fine! Just get out of here!”

“M-mom?!” MK’s mouth had dropped at being recognized.

“Sorry, MK. I broke my promise,” Tang said. “To be fair, your family was planning on eating me before I told them.”

“We said we were sorry about that-”

“ENOUGH!” Lady Bone Demon’s bellow shook the ground. “What is your decision?!”

“I- I can’t-” MK was trembling as he gripped his staff tightly.

“Wrong answer.”

Tang and Spider Queen screamed as they each had one of their arms shattered in her grip. Lady Bone Demon tossed them behind her, the blue ropes re-materializing to bind them as she summoned a large scythe.

“One last chance.” She pulled back the weapon, preparing to strike. “Give me the Monkey King’s power!”

MK roared in rage and seemed to explode into gold, purple, and green light.

Tang gasped in pain as he tried to stay awake. He stared in shock as the light expanded and formed into a giant figure.

Tang had seen the giant form that Wukong would occasionally become to take on much more powerful opponents. Macaque had access to this power as well and so would MK sometimes. It had no official name, but a scroll he had read many cycles ago had described it in a way that Tang couldn’t help but agree with.

Aspects of Destruction.

It resembled MK’s spider form, but with his human half looking more like a monkey’s instead. He had four arms now and each one held a copy of the Monkey King’s staff. The twelve eyes glowed with a burning green malice as they glared at Lady Bone Demon.

Faster than he could blink, Tang watched as MK swung one of his staffs and batted the white demon away from them. MK roared and leapt after her.

The pain from having his bones crushed soon became too much and Tang passed out.

----------

Tang woke up on Sandy’s airship.

He learned it was a few days later. MK hadn’t been able to defeat Lady Bone Demon, but had managed to buy them all the time to escape. They had also managed to pick up Red Son somewhere along the way.

Now, all twelve of them were out of the city looking for a way to defeat her.

The Spider Clan had seemed to integrate easily into their group over the next few weeks.

Spider Queen had already gotten to know Macaque over the course of the experiments, but once Wukong decided to go through the same procedure and gained two extra pairs of arms, she seemed to start flirting with the both of them.

Neither monkey seemed bothered by this and flirted right back.

Huntsman had decided Mei needed proper weapons training with her sword and whenever he wasn’t giving her pointers was drinking tea with Sandy.

Goliath shared cooking duty with Pigsy. The pair gave each other tips and techniques and their meals only became tastier from the collaboration.

Syntax had seemed a bit lost at first, but after completing one of the internet memes MK had quoted, became fast friends with him. He even got to have stimulating scientific discussions with Red Son.

Tang sighed in contentment at dinner one evening as he listened to the conversations around him.

He had never thought he would have longed for a large family, but this just felt right to him.

Tang hoped he would get to experience it more often in future cycles.

----------

The Spider Clan joins the ranks!

I think that leaves only two characters left out of Tang’s family. Considering who they are, I doubt that will happen any time soon.

This chapter takes place in @strange-lace's amazing Spider Monkie AU! It has some great angst and fluff as well as absolutely lovely spider-monkey designs for Macaque and Wukong! Go check it out!

Now technically this AU doesn't have a kaiju form for MK, but I wanted to introduce the concept to the story and it didn't fit anywhere in the coming chapters.

There’s going to be some plot in the next chapter so look forward to it! Until next time!

[beansbeware]

Beans’ Bagginshield Recs

Here it is! My first rec list eight years since I first started shipping Bagginshield. When this lockdown started (and ended and started again) I found myself re-reading OG/classics and discovering new ones. Sifting through my AO3 history I realized I have read and already forgotten so much fic over the years. For a while, I though the ship had run its course but as we can see now, Bagginshield lives! Check back for updates as I discover (and remember) more fics. Pay attention to the tags and trigger warnings! 

AU

I Sang In My Chains Like The Sea by orphan_account for lincesque, IronPanda

In which Bilbo is a Jaeger pilot candidate, and Middle Earth stands on the brink of destruction. (Pacific Rim AU) [Wasn’t sure how this one worked but man it did]

At the Turn of the Year by northerntrash

They say that strange things live in the woods, fair folk and things more spirit than man; don't step between the old oaks, parents mutter to their children, or they might find you, and eat you. Thorin never believed that, but now winter is settling into his bones, the shadows are growing longer through the hoar frost, and he is lost among the trees.

And it was there that Thorin met him, that strange, laughing creature, walking barefoot through the bracken.

Canon-ish

Homeward Bound by perkynurples for 61Below

His life slips away from him on an elven boat carrying him overseas, and there is one last journey Bilbo Baggins must take if he truly means to arrive home.

Sansûkh by determamfidd

The battle was over, and Thorin Oakenshield awoke, naked and shivering, in the Halls of his Ancestors.

The novelty of being dead fades quickly, and watching over his companions soon fills him with grief and guilt. Oddly, a faint flicker of hope arises in the form of his youngest kinsman, a Dwarf of Durin's line with bright red hair.

(Follows the story of the War of the Ring).

The Great Shire Conspiracy by Avelera for Emsiecat

Ten years later, Bilbo can't even go to the Green Dragon without a dwarven tourist buying him a beer and sobbing over Bilbo's great tragic love affair with Thorin Oakenshield. Which would all be quite touching and heartbreaking, if not for one little thing...

Dark (generally not a fan but this one made the cut)

Pain-Bearer by lilithiumwords (unfinished)

In an alternate reality, Erebor was never taken by Smaug, and the War of Dwarves and Orcs never happened. The Orcs invaded the Shire, slaughtering hundreds and taking countless more as slaves. Bilbo is slave to Azog, the Dwarf King's mortal enemy... until the Dwarf King rescues him.

Dwarves! in the Shire

Selling to Hobbits by HildyJ 

Exiled from his kingdom and living on the mercy of others, Thorin is determined to make his own way in the world for him and his family. And the annual Summer Fair in Hobbiton sounds like the best place to sell enough of his crafted goods to do just that.

Oak and Mistletoe by HildyJ (series)

After a life dominated by a strange form of sickness, Thorin is sent to the Shire to seek a cure only Bilbo Baggins can offer.

Erebor - Nope, Never Fell 

A Most Sensible Idea by HildyJ

Bilbo Baggins isn't sure about this. Not one bit.

Frodo is definitely too young to enter into an arranged marriage with a dwarven king called Thorin Oakenshield. It's a good thing that Bilbo is there to chaperone him through their courtship.

After all, there's no chance that a fussy hobbit bachelor would ever catch the eye of a king.

Signs and Meanings by HildyJ

It shouldn't matter to Thorin that the visiting hobbit cook doesn't speak his language. But it does.

Per Aspera by northerntrash

Deep in the dungeons of the Kingdom of Erebor, in an old, unused storeroom, lived a Hobbit.

In which Bilbo Baggins, a strangely successful thief, makes a mistake, and meets a Prince.

Erebor - Rebuilding

Mother-Tongue by northerntrash for HildyJ

Forget-me-not: a small flower, with four petals, which are normally found in shades of blue with a pink or white centre. These are traditional flowers of intent in the Shire, used to express true love, and remembrance.

In which Bilbo plans to leave Erebor, and Thorin tries to understand why.

Previous Engagements by Lunarflare14

After the Battle of Five Armies Thorin and Company have a new task: rebuilding their reclaimed home. Suddenly Bilbo finds himself up to his ears in responsibility and he surprises himself with how well he can navigate negotiations with elf dignitaries, farmers in Dale, and a dwarf king who has patience for neither.

But as Spring approaches a caravan from the Blue mountains brings something everyone had nearly forgotten: the dwarf woman Thorin promised his hand to many years ago.

Which is fine. It's all fine. It wasn't like Bilbo was falling in love with the king or anything.

That would be tragic.

And I'm Your Lionheart by Lee_Whimsy

Bilbo lingers in Erebor while Thorin recovers from his wounds, and soon finds himself caught up in politics, romance, and the occasional kidnapping. Ensemble cast. AU. Eventually Thorin/Bilbo.

Fix-Its (Gawd we need them)

An Expected Journey by MarieJacquelyn

For years Bilbo has written about his adventures and told stories about his dealings with dwarves and dragons. To most it seemed like fanciful nonsense but to Bilbo it was all very real. A weight followed him home from his travels, one called regret. Now in his final moments Bilbo has a choice to make – go quietly into death’s embrace or go back again and face all the fear and pain for the chance to make things right?

Of course, change is a fickle thing and not everything can be done again as Bilbo is about to find out. In the end, it may not only be salvation that he’s fighting for.

though the stars walk backward by baggvinshield, killaidanturner

Bilbo wakes, always in Erebor, with dark shadows to one side and the first light of a terrible dawn to the other.

An Expected Journey by MarieJacquelyn

For years Bilbo has written about his adventures and told stories about his dealings with dwarves and dragons. To most it seemed like fanciful nonsense but to Bilbo it was all very real. A weight followed him home from his travels, one called regret. Now in his final moments Bilbo has a choice to make – go quietly into death’s embrace or go back again and face all the fear and pain for the chance to make things right?

Of course, change is a fickle thing and not everything can be done again as Bilbo is about to find out. In the end, it may not only be salvation that he’s fighting for.

Over Your Shoulder by northerntrash

The battle is over, and the lost have been counted. There is too much death, too much blood, and in the middle of it sits one small Hobbit, left quite alone but for a body on the ground and the memory of what might have been. But he is a tenacious creature, and if there is one thing that he has learnt, it is not to give up hope.

In which Bilbo Baggins goes on one last journey, and doesn't come back alone.

Historical Setting

The Ghost And Mr Baggins by perkynurples

They say that everything can be cured by saltwater - sweat, tears or the sea. Bilbo Baggins chooses the last option, taking his recently orphaned nephew and moving to the charming Oak Cottage, overlooking England’s grislier shores. The house charms him instantly, and though he knows nothing at all about the sea, or about making ends meet on his own so far from everything he’s known his whole life for that matter, he’s quite determined to stay, and see his nephew get better, odd sounds in the night be damned. He’s living in a modern world, after all, and the nonsense he’s been hearing about the house being haunted by its former owner, the mysterious Captain Durin, is just silly superstition… isn’t it?

Hobbit! Thorin

I've Grown a Hedge Around My Heart by pibroch (littleblackdog)

Thorin Brandybuck, just recently come of age, still lives in his family’s smial in Buckland, with his parents and two younger siblings. Thorin is an odd duck amongst his relations and neighbours-- unsociable, grumpy, shy, and awkward. And beyond that, he looks rather strange even for a Bucklander, strongly favouring the thick, dark haired build of his Stoorish blood.

It defies all sense and reason why Bilbo Baggins, an exemplar of all the respectable traits Thorin lacked, would ever desire a friendship with him.

Bilbo, as Thorin discovers, is not always as sensible as he appears.

Marriage (or something like it)

An Unexpected Proposal by Eareniel

As Bilbo sat smoking in his empty hobbit hole, he couldn’t help but wonder – when did his life become so boring? Or better yet – when did his old life stop being enough?

He suspected the answer to that question lay somewhere around the time when he had refused Thorin Oakenshield’s offer of marriage.

Something Blue by Lapin

Thorin marries Bilbo after the Battle of Five Armies, a marriage of convenience, not love. Slowly, they must come to make the best of it, Bilbo resolves. After all, he's a Hobbit. They make the best of things.

Magical/Super Powers

On Adventures and Other Forms of Conduct Unbecoming of a Wizard by manic_intent for beingevil

For as long as even the old Gaffer could remember there had been a wizard living in the hill at Bag End, overlooking the Shire. As wizards went, this one wasn't the wandering sort, always out to lure gentle folk out onto nasty adventures, or even the powerful kind, the sort that lived in high towers, reaching out into the ways of the world.

Modern Setting

Old Stone, New Fires by northerntrash

Bilbo was not sure what he had expected when he had agreed to supervise the restoration of Erebor House, on the lonely tidal island in the North sea, but it was not this. The winters up here are cold and harsh, and there is a strange feeling on the air, thick with the brine of the sea and secrets to which he is not privy; there is some part of the long and troubled history of the place that has not been spoken of, a shadow between the broken family gravestones and the caves beneath the cliffs, dark and dangerous.

Perhaps it is all in Bilbo’s mind, but as the nights grow longer, he starts to doubt it, and as Thorin sinks ever deeper into black and incalculable moods, he will have to find what has been lost, before it takes them all.

For This by northerntrash

Thorin Durin had lived in his new flat for approximately eighty four minutes when things started to go terribly, terribly wrong. The wrongness came in the form of a package, delivered to his door, wrapped in brown paper and string, with a small tag wishing him a very sincere welcome to the building.

Nothing Gold Can Stay by perkynurples

Bilbo Baggins led a rather peaceful life, thank you very much, until an old acquaintance decided to turn it upside down, and he found himself agreeing to take a job that’s… let’s say not exactly up his alley, and might eventually cost him a little more than his treasured cozy lifestyle. Who would have thought tutoring a slightly menacing monarch’s more than slightly overbearing nephew could prove to be such an adventure?

Love-In-Idleness by perkynurples

Taking Bilbo Baggins, a successful movie actor who is only just getting used to the perks and intricacies of becoming A Face People Want To See, and putting him together with Thorin Oakenshield, with his very traditional (read: slightly backwards) ideas about what constitutes Real Art and Real Talent, might very well be viewed as just some clothead’s idea of a joke. But there are jokes, and then there are carefully calculated risks the size of controversial reproductions of classic Shakespearean plays - for Bilbo, it is the chance of a lifetime to prove himself to all those who have ever deemed him too one-dimensional to even attempt stage, while Thorin has the opportunity to get out of the rut that’s been hindering his career for so long now, and shine in a role worthy of his talent once again. That is if the two learn how to share the same space for more than ten minutes without wanting to tear each other’s hair out. The course of true love never did run smooth, after all…

If There Were Water by stickman

Bilbo Baggins might be in over his head. He’s purchased an old stone house atop a hill overlooking a city he doesn’t know, and plans to live quietly, largely ignoring the rest of the world. But it’s early April, the rainy season, and the roof leaks, and there's something strange about Bywater House that he can't quite figure out.

Thorin Oakenshield is in his fourth month of trying to reconcile his own grief with his failures at anything remotely resembling a competent single parent, living out of a shoebox flat with Fíli (seven, sullen, and stubborn as hell) and Kíli (five, resilient but cracking), working crap jobs and hating everything including himself.

Under the cover of rainy afternoons and sleepless nights, roof repairs and building restoration, Bilbo and Thorin try to figure out how one navigates isolation, and how one breaks out of it. Every step they manage to take forward finds them dragged back again; every question asked has too many answers, or too few. This is a story about living in a world where everyone is on their own, always, and how things go on.

How the West Was Won and Where It Got Us by stickman

Bilbo is a harried 1st year British literature Ph.D. (early 20th century fiction) who happens to have an interest in spatial narrative structures, a lack of time-management skills, and a tiny apartment with a lot of books and very little furniture. He’s stressed, always, and doesn't quite know where he belongs. He tells himself that really, this is, in fact, what he wants to be doing. But sometimes, as much as he loves books, he gets an urge to do something with his hands.

Thorin is a disgruntled M.Arch. 1 in his last year who can’t be arsed to shave and frightens his students, and, frankly, his profs, but his work is top-notch so no one can really say much. They can, however, bully him into running a hands-on design workshop on Saturday mornings, which is complete crap, because he’s used to drinking his Friday nights into oblivion so showing up at Milstein at 7:45 the next morning and trying to teach in a room of wall-to-wall windows as the sun rises is not at the top of his list. Besides, no one ever shows up.

Except one morning, someone does.

The Boy You Met (At The Coin Laundry) by Lee_Whimsy

Bilbo accidentally spends a summer in Ireland. One rainy day, Thorin appears in the hotel laundry room, naked and dripping wet and about to propose. (But not, unfortunately, to Bilbo.)

Gandalf, Thranduil, and a handful of Spanish footballers all guest-star.

Hooked On You by Chamelaucium

Thorin should have learnt not to trust his brother and sister by now.

Come with us on holiday, they’d said. It’ll be fun, they’d said. A nice break from work.

Yeah right. All this holiday had brought him was being knocked around the head, acute hay-fever, and the biggest, most ridiculous crush ever on the cute, golden-haired fishing instructor.

One-Sided Conversations by northerntrash

"Thank you for listening," Thorin said, getting to his feet. "I hope to be able to return the favour, one day."

The man on the bed didn't respond, but since he'd been in a coma for longer than Thorin had known him, that wasn't entirely surprising.

“One”/Soulmates

you lick your lips (you taste like years of being alone) by perkynurples for stopchasingflowers

Thorin Oakenshield was born without the longing, and has spent his whole life merely observing others as they pursued a feeling unknown to him until they finally found their One. He has made his peace with the prospect of being alone, and has been faring well enough, but little does he know the fates have a different story in store for him.

Things We Grow Together by serenbach

Dwarves are born with a bone-deep knowledge of their One, but Thorin stops feeling the pull of his after the dragon attacks Erebor. Needless to say, he is surprised, and not initially pleased, to find his One living behind a round green door decades later.

Hobbits find a seed that represents their innermost self and can offer it to someone else to plant. This creates a bond as strong as deep roots in the earth between them. It is just like Bilbo, after years of thinking that no one would want his, to offer his soul-seed to a dwarf that does not understand gardening metaphors.

But just because they have found each other does not make the quest to reclaim Erebor any easier, and in the end a sacrifice is still made.

Thorin has to trust in the strength of the bond between himself and his One, because otherwise he will never believe that the sacrifice was worth it.

Colour-struck by northerntrash

Soul mates are like adventures, Bilbo had often consoled himself. Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things that made you late for dinner. It was no great hardship that he had never met his, even if he couldn't tell which of his petunias were blue and which were purple.

Quest-ions

Discovering Mr Baggins by Eareniel

The story of a Hobbit, told through the eyes of the dwarves.

Thorin Oakenshield's Majestic Diary by Fruitsie

Thorin Oakenshield, King Under the Mountain and Totally Majestic Badass of Middle Earth, does not have a raging hard-on for Bilbo Baggins.

No, seriously.

Just read his diary.

Call You Home by northerntrash

In which the Company are entirely too nosy about matters that are supposed to be a secret, and Bilbo learns that being concerned about propriety is overrated when you could be making friends instead.

Time Travel (because walking Middle Earth is not enough)

Of an Arcane Binding by Salvia_G

An inexplicable magic ties Bilbo Baggins, hobbit of the Shire, to Thorin, dwarven prince of Erebor