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popculturebuffet · 1 year ago

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Richard Moll Tribute: Batman TAS Review: Two-Face Parts 1 and 2 (Comission for WeirdKev27)

In Loving Memory of Richard Moll 1943-2023 Just one year. Just one damn year after loosing Kevin Conroy another treasured member of the Batman The Animated Series Cast passes. I wasn't expecting this and i'm hoping with all I got this isn't a trend.

While Kevin requested a tribute for Moll it was an easy request: While I sadly can't do a tribute for every tragic death as my schedule is packed, it's why poor Matthew Perry didn't get one even though his death is also truly gutting, but Moll is an actor I loved and still deeply repsect and I'm proud to honor him.

Ironically I first became a fan of Moll not thorugh two face, who I liked fine but wasn't really a faviorite of mine yet, but through his other famous roll that came before this: Baliff Bull Shanon on the NBC sitcom Night Court

If you haven't seen Night Court it's free on freevee and amazon prime so please do when your done here, but for the short version it was a sitcom about Harry Stone, a young judge who was both a goofy prankster and a kind, wise man who judged fairly and always tried to help his staff, played by the sadly also late Harry Anderson.

Bull was big, strong.. but also entirely kind and goofy. He had a childlike sense of wonder to him, missed the point often, but refrenshingly for a sticom he wasn't portrayed as a complete idiot, having a lot of emotinal intelgence. He was simply oblivious. And while VERY sweet he had a habit of reminding people, paitcuarly dan the court's prosectuer and sex pest, that he had his job for damn good reason. Moll was a treasure and never lost his step in the roll though sadly he declined to return for the recent revival and now never will.

So it suprised me when I found out Moll was Harvey all this time. It wasn't that Moll lacked talent or even him doing something after night court, he'd done plenty. It was more the range, perfectly playing Harvey in all the forms the show gave him: early on as bruce's pepppy friend, as a man grappling with his split personality in these episodes, as Harvey's brutal personality.. and later as a horrifying combo of the two as two face. All distinct, all using a diffrent vocal tone, all great.

So we're honoring his finest performance. So join me to remmeber Richard Moll under the cut as Harvey Dent grapples with the other person in the mirror.. and both become something else.

One touch i've always liked about Batman TAS is that Harvey was a recurring character before this two parter. It was only two episodes, On Leather Wings and Pretty Poison, but the former was a nice cameo to show he exists and the latter really showed off Harvey and Bruce's friendship, their easy report, the hint they had a long history we were never privy to, and it made the stakes higher when Harvey got poisoned by Ivy. It's remakrable how much legwork that one episode did to setting up this one. You can watch one without the other, Batman TAS is still largely episodic and one of the best shows ever at pulling that off... but the two enrich each other. While Batman TAS wasn't the first to try and have Harvey Dent around before he got faced, Batman 1989 ATTEMPTED it but then didn't bring back Billy Dee Williams and retconned Harvey to be Tommy Lee Jones because fuck me I guess, it's the work i'd credit with popularizing it as the Long Halloween and the Dark Knight after it made sure to show us who harvey was BEFORE, which makes what he becomes that much more tragic, that Bruce didn't just loose an ally.. he lost a friend.

It also makes what we see at the top of the episode have even more weight: Harvey having a troubled dream as he's harassed by a shadowy version of himself with a growly voice flipping a coin. Harvey is only freed from his nightmare by his assitant Carlos, who informs him the raid they've been planning is on boys.

The target is one of Rupert Thorne's gambling dens.

For those who've forgotten this guy, Rupert was the series mafia presence, head of Gotham's organized crime and slimeball, played by John Vernon aka the dean from animal house aka the character that inspired the dean from futurama. Rupert is the perfect arch enemy for a pre face harvey: it's easy to arrest a guy who kidnaps the police on christmas day after rocketing out of his aslyum on a christmas tree, it's harder to arrest someone who covers his tracks.

It's also hard because Throne's men have a bunch of high end weaponry stockpiled in there including grenade launchers. Thankfully Bat beats Grenade as bruce decided to pitch in to help with his buddy's relection campaign, helping clean house to make it easier on the police. I also like the touch of Harvey being ambivilant, not against Batman's presence but not really cordinating with him like Gordon would.

Unfortunately one of the goons makes the mistake of taunting harvey... and that wakes up the other person. As it turns out Harvey has Disociative Identity Disorder, and his alter, big bad harv, is all of the anger Harvey's surppressed his whole life condensed into a person. And Big Bad Harv suckers the goon before nearly beating him to death, with Harvey waking up from the episode horrified and making a lame excuse. As if things weren't tense enough Rupert Throne's decided to do a bit of digging into Harvey's life: he's become too big a thorn in his side and the irony's a bit too much to swallow on that, so he has Candice, his right hand minon look into that.

We cut to Harvey giving a speech at a big campaign rally Bruce is throwing. It also brings me to Batman The Animated Series Version of bruce who I like a lot: instead of playing up his uselessness or just barely using the identity when necessary, this bruce is a bruce wayne I like to see: a philamprohist who still fights to help people. It makes hiding he's batman harder sure.. but it shows Bruce more as another side of who he is rather than a mask he wears because society won't let him go around beating up people in a mask all day every day.

At the party is Grace, Harvey's girlfriend who wants to bump it up to fiance. It's unknown just HOW long it's been since pretty poison but given Harvey was willing to marry Ivy after a week, it's on brand for him to jump into life alterting decisions and he makes it clear he only hasn't because he's busy trying to get reelected, not getting that the engagment would probably bump up his raitings but whatever. Grace is mostly here so Harvey has more to loose. She's the weakest part of the episode, only being there so Harvey has a love intrest to weep at what he's become when we already have bruce. Though given this was the 90's I woudln't be shocked if Fox wanted to give Harvey a case of the not gays.... which come on. Why WOULDN'T it make sense for Two-Face to be BI-Sexual. It fits too well. Like Batman giving oral.

Every party needs a pooper though and the pooper for Harvey's party is a phone call: THrones men are being let go as someone "misfiled" a warrant.

So naturally out goes the good harvey, in comes the Big Bad Harvey who straight up THROWS his assitant carlos into an ice sculpture cleaving the thing in two.

And nearly beating BRUCE up this time when Bruce tries to calm him down. It's only grace begging him to stop that brings back standard Harvey.

Bruce didn't get to be the world's greatest detective by ignoring the obvious , so he goes to talk to harvey .And I absoutely LOVE Bruce's attitude in this scene.. the man was almost punched in the face by his best friend.. and instead of raging against him or recoling in horror he runs up to help him, recognizing this wasn't just harvey flipping out, but something deeper, correctly guessing Harvey has some sort of mental illness and needs help.

And as someone with some mental illnesses and a neurotypical brain not helping either of them, I really like how the episode treats Harvey's illness. The talk about it has aged REALLY well: While it was even MORE stigmatized back then, Bruce's reaction to all of this is recommend Harvey get help and then be utterly PROUD when he finds out Harvey already is doing the work, it's just taking time and the pressure of being a public figure AND hunting a crime lord really isn't helping. Harvey is treated as he should be: as a man who needs help and is struggling with it, not as some monster but as a man who simply needs help after a childhood trauma left him with an extra guest in his head. Harvey is never accused for what Big Bad Harv does and while Big Bad Harv's actions are seen as awful, as they should, no one ever blames Harvey for them if they know. It's something I struggle with: I also have big freakouts where I can't control myeslf. Diffrent type as i'm still ME when it happens, but I can still relate to this episode and harvey's struggle of both letting his pride down to ask for help and worrying about what people would think despite getting therapy being entirely normal.

Unforutnely Candice overheard this as we cut to Harvey in sessoin with his psychatrist, Nora Crest. Nora is a wonderful therapist, helping harvey slowly and making it clear what Big Bad Harv does isn't his fault. She also draws BBH out to try and help manage him better. Unfortunately.... she fails to recognize that Big Bad Harv dosen't WANT to be managed, want to be locked away, or want Harvey to come back again and in the most horrifying display yet trashes Nora's office, breaks a window and tries to attack her before she undoes the hypnosis. Again it's done well as Nora simply misunderestimated HOW bad things were and while sh'es trying her best.. .as she puts it Harvey NEEDS to check himself into a hospital. And I love how that's not portrayed as a bad thing: A dire circumstance, but we've seen how bad harv is. She's not suggesting locking him up in arkham or anything drastic, she just wants him where he can get help and where big bad harv can't hurt people.

Ultimately what holds Harvey back... is a combination of pride and society itself. In a better world Harvey going in to get treatment after two public outbursts would be seen as a heroic act and he'd win the election. Sadly we don't live in that world and Harvey correctly fears the voters would just sterotype him as crazy and he'd loose the election. He TRIES to mitgate it by having more sessions an da reduced work schedule and it works to a point.. but it's clear it's putting a band-aid on an open wound.

This meatball mental surgery DOES enough to get Harvey through the election, and almost to propose to grace.. but sadly dosen't last as Thorne has stolen his medical files and wants a meeting. Once again it's not Harvey that's the issue.. it's that society won't accept that he NEEDS help and it's OKAY to get it. And Throne's all too happy to exploit it.

Thankfully for Harvey his best friend is batman, so Bruce is able to follow Harvey and put a tracker on the car he's taken in. Thorne makes the BOLD decision to confront the man whose DiD is shown to be triggered by extreme stress... in a remote room with only a few guards, only one of them actually armed, and mock his mental illness. We also find out WHY Harvey has DiD: as a kid he hit a bully in the face. Said bully wound up in the hospital and Harvey blaming himself vowed never to be angry again. Turns out it was apendcitis. Hence Big Bad Harv.

And unfortuantely for Harvey's future and Throne's present.... Big Bad Harv comes out. He does manage most of the thugs, with some bat help, but given whose origin this is.. you know this can't end well. And it dosen't: in a truly gutting moment Harvey rushes after Throne, the goon from earlier tries to fire.. and in stopping the guy batman accidently directs his fire at a power coupling in the factory, causing an explosion. Harvey Dent as we knew him .. is gone.

Some time later Harvey's in the hospital in bad shape, with doctors promising they'll restore him with plastic surgery. Instead... we get

I know he was heavily burned, and that his face would be hard to fix.. but how did you think "make him look like a blue goblin man with a bigger eye on half his face" was EVER going to go down well. Does oscorp own this hospital?

While I joke, because i'm a goofy bastard, I do love the nod to Batman 89, with Harvey asking for a mirror in the same way as Jack Napier and Lisa Simpson... only instead of laughing he throughs a raging fit and then gapes in horror when his new visage makes his fiance pass out.

So thus ends part one. One last thing I want to note is how LITTLE batman is in this. Ther'es an action bit with bruce at the beginning of the episode and later at the climax. That's it. It's something TAS did a lot, having a more methodical build up before the third act is all I AM THE NIGHT, but it feels diffrent here as we aren't WITH bruce for most of the episode. He's still present and important to the plot, but he's a supporting character in Harvey Dent's story. There's no breaking things down with alfred, no break from the tragedy of Harvey Dent, and it's why the episode works so well. This isn't a Batman story yet.. it's Harvey Dents.

Part 2, naturally, splits time between both men as both go on their own journey. It's 6 months later and the man who was once Harvey dent has abandoned his old names: No more Harvey Dent, upstanding DA or Big Bad Harv, Harvey Dent's anger and hatred given shape and form... the two have merged. It's something I never noticed before till tv tropes pointed it out: Fitting his dual nature Two Face is a bit of both: he's aggressive, rageful, and quick to anger, berating his twin thugs when they go off script. He'd of killed them by now but damn can they belt a cover of Don't Pull Your Love

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Yet we see a tactical side that just wasn't present in Big Bad Harv.. but was in harvey, with the raid being his idea and his attacks on thorne being calculated, using every bit of info on his operations Harvey ever aquiried but going outside a law he no longer belivies in. Two-Face is a new personality.. and a fairly haunted one.

He also naturally now has his gimmick, using coin flips to decide his decisions, hence why he hasn't seen grace in a while as the coin keeps telling him no. After all he lost, after all that happened he now belivies only in chance... the only justice left. And given the system allowed thorne to thrive while Harvey sacrficed his health, his time and ultimately who he was to stop him only to get nowhere.. it's hard not to see why.

It's what, once again, makes this work: it's not just Harvey's DiD that turned him into Two-Face. IT's the main cause, sure, but the regular Harvey still had an obessive, vengeful streak about him: he may of locked his anger away.. but he still hunted thorne, obessed over the case and put beating thorne over his own well being. Being DA was important, beating thorne was important.. but it wasn't worth loosing himself. He was doing the work, had he taken his doctor's advice and checked himself in.. Harvey may of been okay. He wouldn't of had the office but he'd have his mind and the love of his life. Now only rage and a determinatoin to destroy thorne remain.

Thorne naturally isn't taking this sitting down. He has some shit to throw around in anger dammit. After months of Two Face hitting him hard then fading away into the night he puts out a bounty: a million a face. And Cadance, being sneaky and what not, sets her self on the path to the moolah by pretending to be a cop and giving grace a tracker.

Meanwhile Bruce, naturally, is also doing pretty bad. In his dreams Harvey cries out to bruce asking "Why couldn't you save me?"... and Bruce has no answer.. nor one when his own father asks "WHy couldn't you save us son?" Once again Bruce has lost someone he cares about. And while with his parents the guilt isn't warranted, it was a random gunman and he wa sa children, you can see WHY he has it here: You can just feel Bruce replaying the moment he tackled the gunman, again, and again and again, thinking of all the ways he coudl've done it BETTER, all the ways that don't end in Harvey becoming Two Face. All the ways he should be BETTER. We know it was just an accident but Bruce.. can't accept it. He has to fix this, he has to save harvey from himself.

Harvey's decided enough fucking around. He's gotten Thorne weak enough, it's time for the killing stroke. Only Harvey isn't being THAT merciful: he COULD kill Thorne, but like any good super villian Twoey has a sense of irony: Thorne ruined his life and reputation, it's only fair Two-Face do the same

So TF and his minons raid a place where THorne has his most secure files, the ones that outline everything. YOu know your standard maffia macguffin. Bruce naturally shows up ... but tragically he can't help someone who dosen't want to be helped, a harsh lesson of the episode: Harvey is buried deep within two face, impossibly tangled with big bad harv. There's the possiblity he could become harvey again, but he has to want to. But all that's left in harvey is a want for revenge.

Batman does at least spot a pattern: all the clubs and establishments are two themed, and thus finds his hideout, Club Deuce. Unfortunately he's not the only one as Two Face finally decides to see Grace, who thinks the police would be genuinley invested in the health of someone with a mental illness

And triggers the signal. Grace almost gets through to harvey who starts out wearing.. this

Grace takes it off, almost convinces him to get help.. then Thorne busts in

Thorne manages to ransom grace so he can get the files.. and then plans to just shoot everybody because Two Face was stupid to trust him. Thankfully it's time for the bat to make his big entrance, and our hero, villian protagnist and cardboard cutout clean house. Well okay Grace takes out Candance as is standard catfight protocol, but props to her for contributing.

It ends with Thorne in a chadelear and Harvey about to finish this. Bruce begs Two Face not to as there's no coming back from this.... but Two Face dosen't trust int he law anymore and Batman certainly hasn't finished off this son of a bitch, so he plans to play count the bullets.

How Batman stops him.. is creative as it is heartbreaking. When Two Face flips.. batman dumps a bunch of other silver dollars, stolen earlier in the ep, in. Two Face is paralized.. and Batman and Grace are left to mourn what they've lost. The episode ends somberly. No one won here: Thorne is still out there, Harvey is in arkham.. and all bruce can do is flip a coin himself into a wishing fountain.. and HOPE his friend can one day recover. It's all he has left, the same cruel fate his friend is now servant to.

So as you can tell Two-Face is a banger two parter and one of Batman TAS' best. Moll is spellbinding the whole damn time, playing all three versions of harvey perfectly, while Kevin Conroy gets some graet acting himself in both acts, as Bruce trying to be supportive.. and as the Bat desperately trying to save his friend. It's tight, gripping and a masterpiece. Check it out now, thanks for reading.. and rest in piece Richard. Thanks for giving us so much joy, so much sorrow.. and so much of you

#richard moll #batman #batman the animated series #bruce wayne #two face #harvey dent #animation #superheroes #dc comics #hbo max

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liminalpebble · 2 years ago

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The Refugee: Chapter 9

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As she left the room Lea felt every instinct, as she had for so many years, to run. Her impulse to avoid feelings or threats by continuing to move took over and she found her feet carrying her toward her quarters, and then passing them and continuing to walk and walk through the labyrinthine keep. Without realizing it, she was moving toward the medical wing, and very nearly ran directly into Magnus.

“Lea! What brings you out here?”

“I...I'm not sure. I just kept walking. I'm sorry. I didn't notice you there.”

Magnus detected the worry in her eyes, and her hair hanging loosely disheveled. Something felt very wrong to him. He felt his heart drop a little. What has he done to her now? He pondered.

“I'm sorry, I'm interrupting your work. I'll head back,” she said a bit absently.

“No no! It's no trouble. Are you okay?” he asked, putting an arm around her shoulder trying to meet her vacant gaze.

“Yes. Just turned around, I think.”

“It's easy to do here. I have some time. Let me walk you back.

----

“What the hell did you do to her, Loki?” Magnus said, riled pale face now ruddy with a small flush of anger. The two friends ate dinner together in their private lounge, per their routine.

Loki balked at the accusation in his voice and rolled his eyes. “I didn't do anything. Do you really think so little of me? I'm not an animal. As I said, we simply had a discussion about what her responsibilities will be. She's fine, Magnus. She's not a child.”

“No, but we are so much more powerful than her, she might as well be. Think of how terrifying that must be. To be a prisoner in a place where every single person, even the servants, could easily use magic to destroy her if she doesn't dance well enough or refuses to go to your bedchambers. She was raised hearing stories that had you haunting her nightmares. That must do things to a person.” Then more quietly he said, “And it's not a discussion when she's being ordered, especially to your bed. It's despicable, Loki.”

“Magnus, it's because of my mercy that she's even alive. I've made her comfortable...probably more comfortable and provided for than she's ever been. I've delivered her from a grueling peasant life. Isn't that the fantasy of every peasant girl, to be swept away to a palace and a life of luxury by a king? I'll give her anything she could possibly want and indulge any pursuit she could dream of. And you, my friend, have been quite the charming welcoming committee, haven't you? What a way you have with people...so cheery and affable, with your bleeding heart. I'm sure she's totally enamored with all your saccharine gestures. Let me know when the wedding is, will you? I'll either send flowers or poison your mead. I haven't decided which yet.”

“Do you ever get tired of this theatrical envy, Loki? Isn't this becoming tedious, especially for a man like you, quickly bored by everything? What about when you're bored of her? Will you just throw her away? You're envious of Thor, Odin, and now me? She enjoys my company for the same reason you do, Loki. I'm the only one here showing her some goddamn companionship.”

“That's enough, Magnus,” Loki growled into his goblet as he sipped his wine. Then with the barest smirk he quipped, “I hate you so much.”

“I hate you too, you utter prick,” Magnus huffed, but smiled.

-----

Loki decided after their odd last encounter to allow Lea some weeks to herself to adjust. Magnus recommended it and Loki thought it prudent, though it irked him to agree to it. She had several weeks to simply explore the citadel in her own time. Lea, for her part, was grateful for the reprieve in which to orient herself, although the nagging fear of a call to the king's chambers loomed in her mind. After spending days visiting libraries, arboretums, observatories, and training grounds to clear and distract her hungry mind, she felt as if she had only scratched the surface of the enormous citadel. Then one day, just as she finished dressing and preparing herself for the day, she answered the door to see the king himself.

“Ah...Lenora. Good morning. Today I'd like introduce you to the linguistics division. Are you ready? Do you need a moment?”

She was shocked to realized that he was, in fact, nervous around her. Even in her strange situation she found it a bit amusing that this menacing mage-king, who was a good foot taller than her, was looking at her uneasily, as if she might bite. He was wearing his green and leather attire again today, rather than armor or some other imposing royal uniform. His hair was carefully oiled in place, tunic impeccable, and he smelled pleasantly of pine and mint as if he had just bathed. She realized with amusement that he was trying to simultaneously impress, but not threaten her. He had considered this encounter at length and carefully, but tried to seem as if he hadn't. She actually found it rather touching. Lenora, on the other hand, wore another one of those warm simple dresses from the back of the closet. He made a displeased face as he noticed it, reaching out to touch the simple flannel.

“Do you purposefully try to still look like a peasant?”

“What's the matter with this? It's new and tidy. Why should it matter?”

He rolled his eyes. “Trust me it matters. Appearances matter.”

“I am a peasant. If I changed clothes, I'd still be a peasant in a nice dress and much less comfortable.”

“Fair enough,” he shrugged. Realizing his attempt pick a fun little fight was petering out.

The department was an odd mix of scholars and soldiers, all gathered around various reference tomes and magical glowing display boards for all to see and write on. Many contained scribble after scribble of text and notes from many different hands. There was a low but constant hum of conversation around the large hall, all focused in a similar flow, like a hive. The buzz faded to a reverent hush and greeting to their king. However, as soon as the room full of men noticed the small woman following behind him, loud grumbles spanned the room. Lenora sometimes forgot that Asgardians, for all their wealth and magic, were terribly primitive about gender relations. It grated especially on her nerves, as the Morhari were extremely egalitarian in these matters. The irrational uselessness of sexism was apparently also an annoyance to Loki, judging by how he addressed the division.

“Silence!” he bellowed, “You're biases are your own concern. We have a Morhari scholar at our disposal, a multi-front war to win, a race to solve dozens of coded messages, and at least three tongues to decipher. We need what she has to offer. If you have something useful to say, I will listen to your concerns, but I will not tolerate boorish idiocy.”

A cacophony of “Sire, but...” and “Your Majesty...surely you can't mean...” followed by indignant grumbles ensued. Loki was about to silence them again, but let them continue for his own amusement a few moments longer. Smirking with his arms crossed, he noticed Lea wordlessly elbow through the crowd to the large display board. Most of the analysts had been huddled around it in frustration before this interruption, and apparently for some time. She read it, considered it silently for a few moments, then decisively picked up the stylus to begin writing the translation in her neat precise script. When she was finished she placed the glowing stylus back on its ledge, turned and deliberately dropped a large tome with a loud crash to the floor.

Everyone but Loki jumped at the noise, turned to read the board, and shut their mouths in stunned silence. Lea simply said, “Show me the others, please”. Loki was snickering and grinning so widely his cheeks ached.

“Miss Lenora of the Morhari, gentlemen. Please assist her efforts for the next few hours and the foreseeable future. As you were.” Loki glided out the door with long strides, stopping just a moment to nod a bemused farewell to Lea.

By the time she left for the day Lea was exhausted in every way, but it felt worth it. She had earned the respect of most of the men with her little stunt at their introduction. Now those who still glared and grimaced at least had the good sense to swallow it in order to work efficiently. Her head hurt. A servant met her on the way to her quarters to relay a message.

“Miss Lea, His Highness requests that you join him and his advisers in the banquet room this evening. He sends this gown to wear.” Lea thanked her and read the note;

If you want respect, Lenora, you have to dress the part. You've already acted the part to perfection this morning. It's time to stop looking like a peasant.

-----

The gown was not comfortable, but it was undeniably beautiful, a deep burgundy embroidered with gold; stiff-bodiced and long sleeved. In spite of the Asgardian dress, she proudly straightened her Morhari necklace and earrings. If he wanted to dress her up like a doll she would humor him, but she would retain these pieces of herself. She heard a knock at the door and, deeming herself as ready as she could be, she open it.

Loki stood before her in his green and golden armor and his long green cape. His expression matched his outfit, haughty and regal. She noticed the flicker in his eyes before he tamed it. He gave her a swift bow and kissed her hand. “You look ravishing,” he said. He knew the burgundy would flatter her when he chose the piece, and was anxious to see her in it. He did pride himself on good taste and style.

“Thank you. You look handsome...and somewhat threatening.”

“That is sort of the point.”

“This is very uncomfortable.”

“And you think a suit of armor isn't?”

“Unlike my situation, no one is making you wear it, you know.”

“My title demands it. I really need to teach you about the importance of dressing the part...show you the meaning of style, elegance, attention to detail. Oh speaking of which...”

He turned to present an elaborate hair clip laced with rubies and gold to match her gown.

She looked genuinely impressed and surprised by the gift, which pleased him.

“Thank you but I...I can't accept this.”

“You can and you will. This isn't a gift of charity. It matches the gown and it's impressive. You need to be impressive tonight. It's part of my plan to gain you some respect around here.” He smiled and said “Turn around.” Then the smile fell as they both remembered the last time he made that order and fixed her hair. He was determined to replace that memory with this one; a more pleasant one. He was brushing the long straight strands away from her face, fastening the clip behind her ear, when he noticed that she hadn't laced up her gown properly, probably not realizing that she needed a servant to assist.

“What are you laughing at?”

“Did you not ask the maid to lace your dress?”

“No. Was I supposed to?”

He couldn't stop laughing but she looked genuinely embarrassed by her ignorance.

“I'm sorry. Here...come here. God, no wonder you were uncomfortable.”

She turned again pulling her hair away from her back, as Loki's nimble fingers undid and restrung the bodice laces. She jerked a little each time he tightened the cords, not expecting the sudden tension of the corset hugging more firmly to her body, straightening her spine without warning. It excited him. He might have given a few more tugs than necessary just to enjoy her adorably clumsy responses to it. He found himself imagining how he'd love the opportunity to unlace it again, then remove the fine barrette, and allow her dark brown hair and his raven locks to fall together in a rich spectrum as they'd tumble together euphorically.

“Are you finished?”

He dragged himself reluctantly from the fantasy. “Yes. Better?”

“Much better, actually. I take it back. It is comfortable.”

Now she laughed and it was contagious, leaving them both chuckling. He realized with startling clarity that he was finally seeing her simply carelessly happy and that he would raze entire cities to her smile like that again.

Loki offered her his arm as they entered the grand but intimate dining chamber. His generals, and officers were in their formal uniforms, and bowed politely to their sovereign as he entered the room with the mysterious dark lady on his arm. Some rumors of the strange new resident had already sifted throughout the ranks. Some of the men had a look on their faces as if they were seeing an animal they had only heard about in the wild, one they thought extinct. She felt graceless. The attention of an audience wasn't new to her, true, but this wasn't an act. This was just herself, without performance or persona and it left her feeling horribly naked.

She could feel panic creeping higher and higher within her until she saw the beacon of Magnus coming towards her. He looked bright and splendid, with his thick fiery hair carefully combed and shining. His pale blue dress uniform cut a very handsome figure, emphasizing his lean height with perfect lines. The change of clothes seemed to have an effect on Magnus. He seemed less fretful and uncertain, carrying himself with a commanding poise she hadn't noticed from him before. She thought that perhaps Loki was onto something with his theory of clothing.

“Lea! Darling! You look just gorgeous,” Magnus said with the fullest, most luminescent grin. He grabbed her hands and planted a kiss on each cheek, handing her a glass of wine and toasting her with his own.

“So do you! Handsome, I mean. You look very handsome.”

“Ha. Thank you but I'd settle for gorgeous as well,” he said in his light charming way.

Loki broke in, “If you two are quite finished, I'd like to introduce Lenora to our cabinet.”

“By all means! Don't let me keep you. Sire...Lea.” he nodded to them both and stood behind his seat as they all did, awaiting Loki's address and then permission to sit. Again, Lea was placed at his left, Magnus to his right, and she wondered if he did this on purpose as some kind of formality.

“Gentlemen, I've gathered you this evening to introduce you to our wonderful new resource in military intelligence. Lady Lenora of the Morhari is a skilled linguist and has, apparently, an uncanny knack for the puzzles. Many of you will make her acquaintance, if you haven't already, as you continue to work with the division. I know our Asgardian roots have unfortunately also given us habits towards the irrationalities of bias, bigotry, and sexism within our ranks, however, you men are by my side because you are intelligent. You are certainly intelligent enough not to entertain or carry on such absurd traditional habits. Miss Lenora, we welcome you as an asset to the Laufeyson Empire”.

His pleasant speech had the undertone of a threat or command regarding their behavior, rather than an observation, but somehow this didn't detract from the grace of his words. Loki nodded to her, indicating that it was her turn to say something. Lea looked around the table to the uncertain faces of war-hardened commanders, slick politicians, haughty academics, and advisers, and steadied her nerves with a breath.

“Thank you, Your Highness. I am at your service, gentlemen.” She nodded a little frantically to Loki, pleading for him to talk again and relieve her of this. He gladly did this, clearly enjoying the sound of his own pristine voice. As soon as he finished, Magnus approached.

“To Lady Lenora of the Morhari,” said Magnus lifting his glass to initiate a toast. And Lenora, finding a courage she was unaware of, spoke a traditional Morhari toast. “ Shuni kansa...to the memory of my lost people. May I be a worthy legacy.”

The room fell to a hush as the glasses hesitantly clinked once more.

Loki broke the tension, inviting everyone to sit and begin the service of their meal. He would be angry later.

After the dinner was cleared and the company milled about the room, Lea caught the sound of one man confiding in hushed tones to another in a High Asgardian language.

“ 'I'm at your service, gentlemen'. I'm sure she is. She used to work as a whore and a dancer for Madame Beatrice, you know.”

She snapped her head to him, glaring, and said in perfect High Asgardian, “Sir, have you already forgotten my credentials? I was not a lady of pleasure, although if I were I would also deserve your respect. I would speak more kindly of my sisters if I were you, as I imagine the only woman who would endure your company would be one who is well paid to do so.”

Loki and Magnus caught everything, and smiled mischievously to each other.

“Shall I kill him?” Loki said lightly, raising an eyebrow.

“I think she already has,” replied Magnus with surprised amusement.

---

When all the other company left, the trio of Loki, Magnus, and Lea, were left to speak together in arm chairs in front of the fire. Although they were already tipsy, Magnus brought the decanter of liquor and three tumblers over to the low table and began to pour. When he finished and sat, he raised his tumbler in a toast. “Shuni kansa, Lea. Your legacy is worthy.”

Lea smiled, clearly very touched by the gesture, and to her surprise Loki also toasted with no words of complaint. “I thought you'd be angry by now,” Lea said to Loki.

“I'm much too entertained by you today to be angry,” Loki said honestly, and exhaled a little laugh as he eased back into his chair. He went on to describe her antics in the linguistics division to Magnus' animated delight. Lea was becoming uncomfortable, even before Loki began telling Magnus the hilarious saga or her badly laced dress, so she interrupted.

“That reminds me. I want a uniform. I'm in the division. I should be wearing the same uniform.”

Loki huffed his reply. “I can't give you a uniform, Lenora.”

“Why not? Am I not doing exactly the same job?”

“You are. A better job, probably, but I can't give you a uniform because there isn't one with a skirt.”

The liquid courage had taken full effect upon Lea now. “Are you serious? You had a gown ready for me in mere hours today. Do you mean to tell me the emperor himself can't procure a simple uniform skirt? Or just give me trousers like everyone else.”

Loki sighed, “If I give you a uniform with trousers it will only detract from your goal of assimilation. These backwards Asgardian elders will be in a useless tizzy over a woman in men's clothing. Nothing will get done.”

“Remarkable. In a culture with the Valkyrie, Lady Sif, and Hela they still insist that the other women of their society adhere to such ridiculous standards. Compromise, then. Give me the appropriate uniform, and I will agree to wear it with a skirt. Is that fair enough?”

“Cognitive dissonance is a failing of Asgardians as much as anyone else. Fine! You insufferable woman. But you have to take these off.” He reached to her necklace and earrings.

“No.”

“Yes. Your only jewelry should be the badges showing your credentials.”

“These are the emblems of my credentials, and they will stay.”

“Fine! I've decided to just pick my battles with you Lenora.”

“Are you so afraid of losing to a puny non-sorcerer?”

“No. It's that I might never get anything else done and I'm a busy man.”

Magnus laughed the loudest at this exchange, although all three did a bit, loosened up by an evening of drink.

“Well, now that I've irritated you, my job is done. Good night, gentlemen,” Lea said wobbling a little on her path to the door.

Loki, drunk and tired, magically changed his armor into his pajamas. He huffed over his shoulder. “Magnus, walk her back, will you?”

“I heard that. I don't need anyone to walk me back. I'm not a dog.”

“How about if I just happen to be going in the same direction, Lea? My quarters are down that wing anyway. I need to call it a night too and get out of this damned uncomfortable suit.”

She nodded. Loki grumbled from where he was slumped on his seat, eyes already closed, long legs draped over the arm of the chair sloppily as he splayed sideways. “I swear, Magnus, she's adopting all of our bad habits. We've corrupted her terribly.”

The two laughed at that as they took their leave, and Magnus offered his arm yet again.

“That's sweet of you Magnus, but you really don't need to do those formalities.”

“And what if I just want to stumble around with a lovely lady on my arm?”

She rolled her eyes. “As long as you don't pull me down with you if you fall. I'm not a lady, Magnus, I'm a stray in a nice dress.”

Magnus stopped her a moment to look at her seriously, “Well, apparently the kitten does have claws...but, don't say that about yourself. Please. You're amazing. How can you see yourself in the mirror, like this, and not be in awe of yourself.

“I...I don't actually remember if I looked in a mirror today. I suppose I must have.”

“You absolutely should! You won't be able to take your eyes off yourself. I know when I'm in formal attire I can't pull myself away from this beautiful man in the mirror.”

She chuckled. “Now you're sounding like Loki. But you do look very gorgeous and beautiful.”

Magnus curtsied and batted his eyelashes dramatically, and they both laughed hysterically.

Walking ahead, their giggles fizzled out into a comfortable silence until they arrived at the door to her quarters.

“Thank you, good doctor. I'm here safe and sound. Will you make it to your door?”

“Ah...well unless there are suddenly pickpockets and roving gangs in the halls of the palace I think I'll be okay. It's a pretty safe neighborhood.”

She gave him a friendly shove. “Point taken. Oh...I just remembered, I can't undo these laces myself. Please help me or I'll never get out of this thing.”

“Uh...sure. Of course,” he said stepping carefully into her quarters.

She turned around for him to loosen the laces, not even considering that it could make him so warm in the cheeks or cause his heartbeat to sprint. He tried to seem relaxed as he moved her hair out of the way, so close he could smell her perfume. He fumbled a little at the complicated knot Loki had made, a little amused at how unintentionally symbolic it was. He laughed.

“What is it?”

“It's just that I'm a surgeon and I'm struggling with my motor skills undoing corset laces. I'm beginning to question my competence now.”

With his fingers against her spine he could feel her breathy laugh roll through her. He grazed the narrow line of her bare skin as the dress loosened. Her fragrance like honey and incense, made him feel more drunk, more dizzy. He longed to tug those laces all the way open and trail his lips along the tender skin of her shoulder blades, her neck, bury his face into her smooth fragrant hair, pull her close against him in a rustle of rich fabric. He found it so easy to imagine exactly the path his lips and hands would take along her body. He reluctantly came back to himself, leaving his daydream behind.

“Ah...there you go. It think it's loose enough to wiggle out of now.”

“Thank you, Magnus. I was beginning to think I might have to live in this dress,” she joked, oblivious to what ideas Magnus was suffering from, or the effect she had on him.

He simply smiled and said, “No problem. Good night Lea...and you really should look in the mirror. You ought to know how gorgeous you looked today. You look and acted every bit a lady.”

He kissed her hand and made the rest of his solitary way to his quarters in a warm and confused daze.

@lokisgoodgirl @lokisprettygirl @gigglingtigger @goblingirlsarah (Thank you so much for wanting to come along on this journey)

#loki fanfic

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michaelmyersbignaturals · 2 years ago

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this won't go anywhere since my blog is still new and no one will probably care but i need to talk my vampire and werewolf lore somehow. it's not fully developed yet but oh my god i can't shut my mouth. i wrote this 2 years ago and my writing has improved since then but these are the basics:

Basically there are four main courts of vampires; one for each direction [north south east west], and there are small "sub-courts" within them [some affiliated with the main ones, some not]. They each have their own form of politics, but sometimes if there is a large event going on [like one of the subcourt lords going batshit insane and trying to cover the sun, so vampires can go out for longer and take over the world yk] they meet up and discuss how to deal with it, do it, and go back to their homes

There are also wars, but they almost never actually do anything territory related, but it does change a lot bc you know it's WAR. there are mostly humans though, and these subcourts are usually small, and the main courts are very far away from human civilization [like the northern one literally being in the middle of the ocean].

And some more about the vampires themselves; they were created by a rogue god, trying to wreak havoc onto the world. The vampires that were around when they were created have either been vanquished, or seclude themselves from others, and so modern vampires don't know much about this god. The main courts mostly forgot about them, but the south didn't. No one in the south did, so the subcourts here are connected to the main court, but only because they're basically a huge cult, and their lord is a cult leader who believes he himself is the creator of all vampires.

Also the lord of the western court is dumb but his decision caused them to be one of the most powerful vampires

So basically what he did was he found a desert in not sunny weather, and chose to make his court live there. A few days after settling there the regular hot, sunny weather came back, and they were super far into the desert so they're just stuck there. But! Since they're immortal, they've developed large, broad wings [either man made or evolutionary] that block out the sun! And they also developed a small resistance to it, so they can be out there for hours, since the sun now only feels like a bad sunburn to them

If they're out for too long they'll still get vanquished though. sad

the way their fangs work is that they have modified canines that act as glorified straws; they suck blood, and these fangs connect to some major arteries that only vampires have that flows through their body, which comes in handy when it comes to our next point;

the sun.

The vampires feed on humans, but in MY universe the sun chooses what to affect, so if you have human blood in your system, you won't be vanquished; so what the vampires do is feed on humans and basically trick the sun. i haven't fully developed the reason the sun doesn't get immediately suspicious, but i would say that it wants to make sure it doesn't make a mistake, so it just allows anyone with human blood to not get vanquished [and animal blood too ofc]. i might develop this more as i write a story based on this lore. i like the celestial bodies being sentient; so let's move on to the moon, and werewolves! the werewolves aren't as developed as the vampires, but i can't wait to think of some interesting ideas for them.

The moon is also a sentient being [like local 58 but equally terrifying] and that causes werewolves!

basically imagine the moon being a living creature that roamed the earth; in any form. wreaking havoc, killing all of the humans the other gods created. the gods decided to banish the moon into space, cursing it into the form of a planetary mass. in order to keep the moon subdued, hunters were assigned to quell it by hunting and giving it blood; but the moon forced them to undergo a painful transformation each time they hunted in it's in its full phase, and so the first werewolves roamed the earth. every few years, when the moon is at its full strength and getting ready to return to the earth, hunters from around the world are chosen to undergo this painful transformation. their forms vary on their strength; more strong and powerful ones were the more anthropomorphic werewolves you see in most media, and the more agile and sneaky ones were basically transformed into wolves. some are just humans with their anatomy squished and stretched, basically wolf shaped humans. others get fur, and basically transform into wolves.

this transformation takes hours. their bones stretch and break, their organs shift and change, their skull changes drastically. this is the most painful experience any human could ever have to experience. hunters start at around 4 in the afternoon, and it ends at 10 at night, where they then rise and begin the hunt. they stay in this form for the rest of the night, and then turn back the next day. the transformation afterwards can be triggered at any time, and becomes less painful the more they do it. some consider it a blessing; others consider it a curse.

because of the vampires dependency on animal and human blood to survive, there is conflict with the two. there will be more development as i write the story.

#ramblings #worldbuilding #vampires #werewolves #just me talking about my lore #its the autism i can't help it!#ive been working on this lore for years now and i don't care if this goes nowhere #i want an archive of it

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twisted-wonderland-but-gayer · 2 years ago

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I don't know if i already sent this request sorry if i did

Could you write about how ruggie would react to a suicidal and starved Yuu ?

Thank you

Ruff Day

It didn't get too dark tbh as I got sidetracked and cut half of it out since I was getting off topic. Anyways beast tamer yuu and ruggie would actually get along super well imo... like hid best subject is animal speech

Yuu has No description. Gn as usual. Semi established relationship. Takes place in the same universe as cooking for Ruggie

Another day, another crumb in your shitty life since arriving at Twisted Wonderland. The only reason you haven't left at this point is because you still don't know where the hell you are, and can't get a solid answer out of anyone. As a beast tamer, you must be accustomed to an outdoorsy, adventurous, or cottage-core life. You would surely be able to survive and thrive out there in the woods.

However, you do have a roof over your head, and a big one at that. With forests surrounding the dorm and enough room for all of your monsters. Intelligent individuals, that shouldn't be considered less human. Monsters that need to be fed. Monsters that are perhaps too smart for their own good. Monsters that knew of your pitiful situation and your pitiful state of self. The kangaroo-chinchillas that swept your how with their tails would often be cuddling you for this

Hell, the tarantula wizard would spin webs of the two of you together with 'BFFs' woven within it in hopes to cheer you up. You were miserable. Your beloved caucasian shepherd Akita mix let out a few resounding barks at you, muffled from the sword in their mouth as they smack their head into you. Everyone was worried about you, yet it felt like no one was. None of your human friends to say the least… Perhaps beasts were always better than humans…

Crowley's 'pay' barely covered a few meals at Sam's even with his generous discounts and freebies he offered you. Fine then. You rode out on a flightless hippogriff-chimera creature, its wing damaged by its previous abuser, upon healing it, the thing now followed you everywhere. Trotting into the woods, you send out a small bug-winged hawk scout and feathered, peacock wyvern to survey the area for prey. A car-sized house cat gave you a parting meow as you embarked.

Behind you, some of your top beasts followed. A large plant-lion, or should you say Dandelion, a slobbering pangolin-hyena, along with a bipedal naga-like creature whose skin was so rough, it shredded anyone who touched it down to the bone. On your shoulder a land-octopus, or should you say rocktopus, gripped onto you, rubbing its rough yet smooth skin into your neck. Its spiked, flat tentacles used for digging used to rub your back as hunger pain strikes through you.

'We're gonna need more than a deer. At least two for everyone, please. The crops aren't ready and the fish aren't here yet…' you thought, hanging low on your mount who tiptoed carefully along the forest floors. One caribou— what the hell even is the magic realm that is this dorm— whatever, dinners dinner and there's no time to question it. A bow wouldn't do too much from this distance, and you aren't close enough to throw your spear.

Looking above you noticed the wyvern looking down at you, circling where your prey was. Raising your arm, the hawk landed on it. All beasts waiting to sink their teeth in. If they all attacked at once you doubt there would be much caribou left…

You made a gesture for the wyvern to dive, the feathered beast falling through the sky at incredible speed. Its beaked mouth and talons held the creature down. The caribou struggled and went to flee when you tossed over the octopus to secure it in place, its sharp ends ensnaring the thing. From there it was easy pickings, now, the Dandelion carried it back in its mouth, the wyvern now following by foot, occasionally making snapping gestures at the new meal that was caught.

Skin, butcher, use everything. The hide is good blankets, the antlers now new utensils, marrow harvested from bones, every bit is essential now more than ever. Yet there's nothing left. After cooking everything up all beasts gathered around the table awaiting a feast. Ravenous beasts left nothing left. You hoped that they wouldn't notice you not eating amidst their hunger. Now all were full. All aside one. That dog, where are they?

You supposed they went out to train with their sword yet again. But it is fine. It just gives you more time to be alone and rest, the stress of today kicking your ass. At some point, you didn't even notice you were in the entrance hallway misty-eyed and filled with resentment of what's become of you. Some survivalist rotting away and listening to some old crow hag…

There was knocking at the door. There was knocking at the door? No, wait. You heard boofs along with the smacking of the wooden door. A familiar voice cited out with it. "Hey- you– Hey! Bad dog, bad doggie let me go let —"

You opened the door to see him there. Ruggie. The other one here who was just like you, a survivor. One who also foraged alongside you for food. A close companion. "Release." You commanded, making the dog drop Ruggie. "Yowch…"

Ruggie rubbed his head for a few seconds before looking up at you from the floor. Your face was a mess and tear-stained. Ruggies glare softened slightly at that. The questions and teasing he had at the tip of his tongue dying out. "So what gives? Your dog here kept yapping about how sad you were and dragged me here… Do you want to talk about it?"

You paused for a moment. So this was your dog's angle, huh? "Yes… yes, that would be nice."

#justclem44 #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #ruggie bucchi x reader #ruggie bucchi #beast tamer yuu #ramshackle

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destinywillowleaf · 2 years ago

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hey @greentrickster i made a basically full (rough) spriteset for this AU. literally the only things missing are his 6-5 breakdown and a version of Apollo's disheartened sprite(cause he looks more frazzled than disheartened or discouraged at the end of his surprise set(s)) and it would be done.

also featuring "Nahyuta is vaguely like a fallen angel" in color because it turns out the implications his scarf had were "another Japanese cultural shorthand that conveys Nahyuta’s holiness and suggests that he is like a god" and "not unlike a character with a pair of angel wings in the West" so that's. fun. (both links lead to the same page btw) not sure how godly Apollo get to be as a result. probably not that much tbh sorry bro.

anyway, sprites! in order, top to bottom, left to right, left page!

normal/neutral, thinking (and transition into talking and thinking, the side profile is a reference for how his hand's positioned), desk slam into determined (his left hand comes up and is a fist on the desk), objection point, confident (two versions).

right page!

shock 1, shock 2 and its progression, shock 1 resolution (because i forgot it before), nod, shake head, embarrassed.

fun facts/information about the choices made in the sprites under the cut~

Nahyuta keeps his arm around his back because he's mimicking Kristoph when he was standing as co-counsel (and also because that's just what he does in canon :P but here it's more of a mimic). He can take off a coat easily but mimic poses are harder to break.

his thinking animation has a fist to his mouth because i do that sometimes and this is my AU and he should have a unique pose. originally was considering keeping his arm behind his back and still might do that instead?? it works either way really

desk slam is mostly based on his canon slam, but without the beads. It's just a forearm and fist into the bench together, with his arm sort of parallel to the front of the bench instead of perpendicular (mostly to differentiate himself a bit from Asogi)

the determination pose changes the angle of the arm and adds his other hand to the bench. it's supposed to be able to slide into his breakdown (with a change in face, of course) with the vague plans i have for it now

also the main reason he gestures with his right is cause i thought it'd be fun since prosecutors use right arms/hands and defense attorneys use their left arms/hands. so what if Nahyuta just. didn't get with the program.

idk what i want his confident post to be but crossed arms is always an option. could be unique, could get in another mimic. (also if you can't read it the additional text is just saying the weird colors are a bleed-through from the colortest Apollos on the previous page)

why shock 1 and shock 2: you know how Apollo as of soj (and maybe dd) has two version of his shock animation where one has his mouth crack open like the og sprite. it's sorta like that. shock 2 is for more intense surprise which is why the papers float, Nahyuta pauses to see the floating pages (eyes dart from one side to the other), and then slaps them down to try and regain composure. also because green suggested it near the start of this whole AU and i love it. that was so much fun to draw.

i also have no idea what i actually want his embarrassed sprite to look like. awkward smile is probably gonna stick around though. it's funny.

important note, cosmic turnabout would be the same animations but the bits of hair in front are braided into the rest. he's not letting his emotions show as much. there might be an additional damage animation where he just flinches and grabs his prayer beads for this section.

when he's got Clay's jacket, it's sort of worn like Dhurke's because i like parallels and no one can stop me. maybe his arm is also actually broken but i haven't decided yet. what matters is that he refuses to use his right arm because he can feel a burning sensation from the Defiant Dragons tattoo due to his failure to his friend and he's just having a rough time of it all. also there's a non-zero chance his hair would be down more if he can't use his right arm 👀

#prosecutor apollo attorney nahyuta au #auta sahdmadhi #nahyuta sahdmadhi #his t-shirt is from opening week 2021 (which. might not be a thing at other colleges) and his mug says ''NO MUGS HAVE MY NAME''#the lack of color coordination here is the real reason why kristoph wanted to make sure his court attire looked professional lol #everything is in lowercase cause it's like 1 AM and i'm making what most people call a Bad Decision #but as always i'm really grateful that green let me sort of take this AU and run with it because it's been so much fun #doodling and plot-developing (and while i might not ever get around to writing the ENTIRE thing. scenes might still crop up eventually)#willowarts

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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years ago

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Omg wait I've heard of road runners. I love them. They really do run

My reasoning for Maui having Kea wings is because he's a cheeky little shit, like a Kea. Like these birds take every chance they can get to be a menca to society, from just squawking obnoxiously loudly to eating the window seals off of cars. They are deceptively beautiful. Like Maui. But yeah the rainbow has got something to do with it, and that's bexause they're very pretty wings. It's mostly because of the green, though, and Maui is very aesthetically pleasing in green. And it's his favourite colour.

Keas also take things from people to get a reaction, they're very intelligent birds (Some of the most intelligent, in fact, and often more intellegent than mammals)

Keas have also benefitted from human changes to their habitats, and will scavenge meat off of dead deer killed by people, among other things. They also nest on the ground, even though they can fly (One of the few native birds that can!) and are very adaptable

-Heathen

They do! They really do run! I've lived in New Mexico for over a decade and it was only a few months ago when I saw a roadrunner's full wing span in person like. Their wings are just there for fun they're actually just running all around and in the roads like little idiots who are gonna get themselves hit by cars. Those roadrunners sure do love running in the road.

Also I didn't need to read anything beyond "cheeky little shit" to know everything I needed to know about the comparison you've made between the two. That is Maui right there. He is a menace and I have full confidence that Maui, even if he wasn't a bird, would eat the window seal off cars. Delicious midday snack regardless of your species.

Green!! That does seem to be The Maui Color, so I can see why that would fit him as well. I am looking at pictures of these pretty birds and you're very right, they are deceptively beautiful. Like those are a quality stunning set of feathers right there! Which of course means its right up Maui's alley. He loves pretty things and being pretty

Oo smart birds? I am even more intrigued animals are so cool. This also might explain the article I found but haven't yet read about keas excelling at statistics. I'm so proud of them and their object trajectory <33. Very interesting that they've benefiting from human changes in that way. I have at least one if not two cousins who enjoy hunting, which isn't really related but it's what you reminded me of. I know at least one of them has/used to go hunting, but I'm unsure about the other one. I don't really know anything that goes on with my extended family.

Shout out to keas for being adaptable and Maui-like, truly a noteworthy accomplishment. Also I'm sure their nests are more advanced than just burying themselves in dirt but for some reason rn I'm imagining Maui just diving headfirst into the ground and wiggling around like a worm to make a hole in the ground that is his nest. So I hope he enjoys that dirt.

This is all excellent information and I did not know anything about keas until now so thank you for informing me!

#quil's queries #heathen nonsie #others' ocs #hang on wait a minute smokey the bear is from new mexico? was I taught this and I just forgot or is this not common knowledge #i mean like smokey is on many signs and those fire gauge sign things that tell you what the fire danger is for the day #but I did not know that smokey was from nm #also got to this point by going haha roadrunners in nm that's our animal. wait is that our animal?#because I know it's the state bird but if it's the bird then what's the state animal?#turns out the answer is a black bear. and smokey the bear was a black bear #so. that is how we got here #anyway #maui information my beloved <33 #long post

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cartooniack1994 · 3 years ago

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I’m a bit late for the party, but I bought the first season of The Owl House on Google Play last week. I started it three days ago, and just finished it tonight. Needless to say, it was amazing! I got hooked after the very first episode! I can see the influences from Avatar: the Last Airbender, Little Witch Academia (which I still haven’t seen yet) and, of course, that one popular franchise I wish not to bring up anymore because the author is now a TERF. I noticed that this show was made by the some of the same people who made another Disney animated show, Gravity Falls (which I also haven't seen).

This is going to be a long post, so I’ll add a break here.

This show has got adventure, humor, and fantasy, which are all things that I like seeing in cartoons. However, by the two-part season finale, the show took a bit of a serious tone when Emperor Belos entered into the picture and the Day of Unity arc began.

I also love the characters. Luz is a cool character, because she feels like a fish out of water in the her world because of her compulsive obsession on fantasy. When she entered the Boiling Isles, she wanted to become a witch, just like Azura, the witch from her favorite book, as a way to become somebody, even though Eda didn't want Luz to attend Hexside (which was where her friends Willow and Gus attend) until the episode "Something Ventured, Someone Framed". My most favorite character is King, because despite his cool name, he's a cute (and funny) creature.

I also love the LGBTQ+ representation in this show in not only the minor characters like Willow's dads (and by extent, I love the fact that Willow was raised by same-sex parents), but also in the major characters, Luz and Amity. I may have said this before, but I feel that LGBTQ+ representation in media, especially youth media, is very important, just like how it was with shows like The Legend of Korra (which I have seen), Adventure Time, Steven Universe, and She-Ra and the Princess of Power (those of which I have not seen), to name a few. I feel that children souldn’t left in the dark about that sort of thing, because love shouldn’t have to be defined by gender, but rather by dynamics and chemistry.

The more I watch the show, the more character development I see. For instance, Eda didn't want Luz to attend Hexside, not only because she doesn't believe in being tied to one coven, but also because she did so many bad things that her permanent record would fill up a whole volume, not to mention that she tried to mix magic tracks (that was, until Principal Bump decided to reverse his decision, against Belos' will). Also, it was revealed that the reason why Eda has had the curse was because her sister Lilith gave it to her, but Lilith reversed the curse with a cost: Eda and Lilith couldn't cast spells the way the did, so they had to do them the way Luz does them, by using glyths.

The character who got the most character development was Amity. When the show started, she had this snobbish, Mean Girls-type, trying-to-stay-on-top attitude, hanging around with people like Boscha and Skara, but it was revealed that she used to be friends with Willow in “Hooty’s Moving Hassle.” In “Understanding Willow,” it was discovered that she was forced to hang out with them by her parents, because they were the children of friends of the family. So, her parents subsequently forced her to destory her friendship with Willow. Afterwards, she and Willow replanted the seeds of friendship after she undid the damage she unintentionally did. In "Wing It Like Witches," Amity stood up to Boscha, proving that her friendship with Willow is rebuilding (and possibly because she has got a crush Luz).

While on the subject of Lumity, I am now an official shipper of this ship. True, Luz and Amity didn't really get along with each other due to Amity's Mean Girls-type attitude towards her and her friends, but as the series progressed, Amity warmed up to Luz to the point where she later developed a crush on her, despite Luz being oblivious to it at first. I started shipping them after “Adventures in The Elements,” and declared it my OTP after “Enchanting Grom Fright” where Luz and Amity danced to defeat the Grom demon.

I am looking forward to what the second season has in store, but I’m waiting for it to be finished before I can watch it, which won't be much longer.

#The Owl House #Lumity #wouldn't you believe that this is the first Disney animated show that I ever watched?

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alison-anonymous · 4 years ago

Text

I Want to Write a Mikayuu Series

Okay.

So um.

If you're reading this, HELLO. All of you long time ONS fans probably don't know me, but I'm Alison and I'm a hardcore Mikayuu, Mitsunoa, Gureshin, etc shipper. I've been in the ONS fandom for almost a year and dear god. The amount of people telling me that Mikayuu is queerbait is just making me really sad 😅 I'm a writer, and I'm the type of person who honestly feels like the author of a series should have the ability to choose how a story ends without influence of their readers. I mean, if it's their story, then it should be their ending, right? However, I also do have some qualms when it comes to how this "love triangle" between Yu, Mika, and Shinoa is being portrayed. This is entirely my personal opinion, but I feel like Shinoa seems to be forcing herself to love Yu. I honestly don't think she cares for him in a romantic way, but more of a very deep-rooted admiration or even envy that she's trying to convince herself to be romantic love. And Yu has said multiple times that he values Mika's life above his own, that he doesn't know what he would do without him if he were to die again (I mean the fact that he suffered seeing his best friend and potential lover die a first time was definitely scarring enough, PLEASE STOP TORTURING OUR POOR BABIES). And it's basically confirmed by now that when Mika said I love you in the manga, it was in the romantic sense. Even though I wish, I hope, I dream, and I pray that Mikayuu will become canon, I honestly can't say for certain what I think will happen. I think it could sway any way, with Mikayuu becoming canon, Yu and Shinoa becoming canon, or it being one of those ambiguous endings where it's heavily implied but nothing actually happens. And in order to make myself feel better when stuff like this happens, I tend to rewrite the entire story with the ending that I would have liked to see ;)

You're probably wondering where the hell this stranger is going with this. Well, I want to write a book. A series, actually.

One that's inspired by Seraph of the End.

Now, if you're interested in hearing me out, then feel free to keep reading. But if not, continue on with your scrolling, no hard feelings. But if you do, and I really hope that you do, give me a chance to explain.

I want to write a series inspired by Seraph of the End called Bloodsucker (working title, obviously). And this series is going to be a reimagination of ONS with an ending that I would have loved to see in the anime and manga. I plan to have three main characters (please keep in mind that I'm going to have name changes): Yuichiro, Mikaela, and a brand new character, Epic.

Now, I would begin this series a bit before the anime and I'm assuming the manga begins. I'd start with introducing our main three characters as they meet in the orphanage (yes, Epic would be a part of this orphanage as well) and how Epic and Yu try to make moves to run away only to be stopped by Mika and Akane.

I plan to include a scene between Epic and Akane where Epic tries to run out in the middle of the night only to be stopped by Akane, and this is what caused Epic to develop a crush on her (Epic is a girl btw). Then I would begin the whole shit with the vampires and how they set the world on fire and shit, but instead of the apocolypse, I'd make it so that most of the adults died in the fire while the kids were taken alive (because young blood is better and whatnot). This includes our little Hyakuya family. The directors would have tried to trade the kids lives for their own, and due to their selfishness, the vamps killed them and took the kids anyway.

This would begin my first story arc: the prewar.

Epic, Akane, Mika, and Yu would all be living under the vampires at this point along with the rest of the kids in their orphanage. I plan to include lots of moments of bonding that heavily imply Epic loves Akane even though she doesn't know it yet and Mika loves Yu, but Yu is fucking oblivious. The four begin to plot their escape, but while Mika and Akane (yes Akane too) are making deals with the vampires to help out with their family, Epic is constantly finding herself getting dragged along to visit Queen Krul. The pink haired vamp has a soft spot for her for some reason and often tells her that Epic and her family are "special" or sum shit. And she's super confused and semi grossed out. But none of the vamps ever dare to hurt her so she thinks it's fine. Then one day they all plot their escape and it's much more planned out and lengthy and less rushed than it is in the anime. Things almost seem to work out until the vampires stop them

And Mika and Akane DIE.

I know. I'm horrid.

Epic is standing here in shock as she watches the love of her life die before her and Mika BEGS for Yu to take Epic and run while they can. So while in the series only Yu survives, he obeys Mika and both him and Epic survive this. They're found by Guren (a new character I haven't come up with yet lol) and Yu is super protective over Epic, not wanting anyone to take the only piece of his family he has left (he's a fucking mess without Mika let's just be honest) and Guren ends up taking them under his wing.

Now we hit the second arc. Still with me?

The War.

Hold onto your hats everyone because this is where shit is about to get complicated. So I do plan to have a bit of a time skip into the current spot where Yu and Epic are attending school with Guren as their father figure and they've become very close. So close that Yu refuses to work with anyone else but her. They end up getting onto Shinoa Squad (obviously going to be completely different in my version) and they get put onto the battlefield. But here's the catch. Well, two catches.

Yu and Epic do have demon weapons. I do plan to try to incorporate that into this. BUT the backstory is different. I plan to make it so that the vampires obviously see the humans as fies. Insignificant things that are more playthings than threats. And they didn't want to have to deal with killing all of them, so they sent demons in their place to handle it. But the humans were able to form deals or "contracts" with the demons and therefore turned the vampires' own secret weapon against them.

Now, catch no. 2

So, Epic, Mika, and Yu aren't seraphs in this. But they are something else. I'm going to try to explain this as simply as I can, but each of them (besides Mika since he doesn't have a demon) have 3 souls inside their body:

Soul 1 is their current soul, the one that identifies as Mika or Epic or Yu.

Soul 2 is their demon soul, like what Asuramaru is to Yu.

And soul 3 is their archangel soul (I might change that name later on).

So I'm just going to come right out and say it. In this series, Epic is the villain.

Yes.

You read that right.

Epic is the villain. But she doesn't know that she is. These Soul 3s were reincarnated into the current bodies of Mika, Epic, and Ari (and I know that's not exactly how it works but screw logic this is just a fucking concept) from their lives centuries ago.

These souls existed way before vampires existed and Epic (or Essie) was very close friends with Yu (or Aytigin). Aytigin was in love with Haru (Mika) but for one reason or another, they couldn't be together. Essie wanted to do something, willing to do anything to make the two of them happy. So she made a deal that brought the vampires into creation so that Haru and Aytigin could be happy. She was willing to sacrifice everything that they stood for so that the two of them could be in love together.

She had good intentions, but of course Haru and Aytigin were furious because now the vampires were turning against the humans and they all basically died. Until they were reborn respectively, but unknowingly.

Now picking back up in the present, Yu and Epic are fighting in one of the main battles and the two are very confused when the vampires make a very deliberate attempt not to hurt Epic. They're unsure as to why, but Guren tells them not to worry about it.

Suspicious bastard.

Anyway, it's revealed finally that MIKA IS ALIVE

BUT HE'S ALSO DEAD

Yes he is a vampire. And Yu falls in love all over again upon seeing him, and after a bunch of struggling, Epic gets kidnapped. At first she gets strangled by Lacus and then she gets kidnapped by Ferid who doesn't kill her surprisingly.

Oh and uh... Ferid is nice in this. He's still a fucking creep, but he's a lot nicer than he is in the series. I plan to make Queen Krul or whoever I turn her into be the villain.

Anyway, they take Epic back to the vampire palace or whatever and Queen Krul and Epic are reunited! And Krul is the one who reveals to Epic exactly who she, Mika, and Yu are and this is what sparks Epic's fall to insanity.

I mean, she's the killer. She's the one who brought them into this world. She's responsible for every death the vampires cause.

I would go crazy too.

So, she manages to escape (partially thanks to Mika) and the two join Yu and the others again and it's revealed a second time exactly what is going on. And while no one actually blames Epic on the Shinoa Squad, that doesn't stop people like Kureto and even herself from blaming.

And this causes her demon to go haywire.

She begins losing her marbles, almost killing her teammates and trying to kill herself, all while the three begin to experience dreams or visions of their Soul 3s.

While all this shit is going on, there's heavy romance between Mika and Yu because these two lovers just got reunited and FUCK did they have glow ups but yes -

Oh. And there is another spark for Epic, even though she doesn't think she's worthy of love.

Okay. I'm just gonna say it.

Lacus falls in love with Epic. Yes. You read that correctly too.

I plan to make the two of them get trapped together at some point and they have to work together to escape. It's during this time that Epic realizes he's not all that bad and has some form of self control and he realizes that she's the most interesting thing he's ever met in this disgusting and boring life and damn do her eyes look pretty-

But yes. She forms a permanent alliance with him that he jokes about as marriage and they meet on other occassions too, but lol yes.

Anyway, blah blah blah, more fall to insanity, the Soul 3s take over their bodies on multiple occasions and there's a lot of bonding and fighting and Epic and Mika somehow manage to get some of the vampires on the human side.

And in the end, Epic and Yu basically sacifice themselves to save the human race and kill Queen Krul. It's a very rough ending I haven't quite perfected yet, but Yu has a moment like he did with the King of Salt. But though he inflicted a lot of damage, it's not enough. So while the team is worried about him, Epic takes this opportunity to fix her and Essie's mistakes.

She allows both Essie and her demon to take control of her body and dies on the battlefield. Queen Krul is eliminated. Most of the vampires are gone. The humans won.

Horray.

Epic is dead.

Kinda. Yu and Mika take her back home and this is the preview to the last arc where everyone's in the hospital and Epic's in a coma. Mika and Yu barely ever leave her side and it's only when Lacus of all people comes to visit that she fucking wakes up.

Okay. Are you still with me? Now come with me to the final arc.

The Post-War.

No my friend. It doesn't end there. Because Mika and Lacus are still vamps and life still sucks and I drank too much coffee this morning.

No it's not over yet.

So flash forward a couple years and Kureto and Crew are working as the heads of this city. Stuff is being rebuilt, people are settling down in homes, Lacus and some of the other "good" vampires find jobs, and Mika, Yu, and Epic get a house together (in case I didn't mention before, Epic is pansexual. She loved Akane dearly and I plan to include scenes where she sees her in her mind and dreams like Mikayuu so she's never truly gone, but she falls for Lacus too when he's not being a sadistic asshole). Things are going strangely when

BAM. Epic and Yu come up with a cure for vampirism.

How, you may ask? I don't fucking know, I haven't read about it in the manga yet but before we come up with an idea for it, imma say they came up with it through a spell. They share their findings with Guren and soon all vampires are being cured, most notably Mika, Lacus, and even Rene.

BUT and there's always a but, Kureto passes a new law claiming all vampires to be property. That any vampire or previous vampire or even vampire supporter/owner that tries to disobey these new laws is to be killed immediately. Now Epic and Yu are in jeopardy because their ex-vampires are in danger (Epic and Lacus have been hanging out a lot more and he's proven himself to be a decent guy. Contrary to popular belief, I headcanon him as not really knowing what to do when he actually cares about someone since he's been a heartless vamp for so long. So when he turns to Mika and begrudgingly asks him for LOVE ADVICE of all fucking things, Mika is ready to die). So basically, Mika and Lacus end up getting locked up along with the other ex-vamps (including Ferid which was a pain in the ass) and did I forget to mention that there's a proposal?

Oh yeah, Yu proposes to Mika and the blond still has yet to give him an actual answer because poor baby is still having a hard time accepting that Yu can love a "monster" like him.

But anyways, now Epic and Yu are furious and SHINOA SQUAD IS BACK IN BUSINESS. With the help of Guren and Shinya and everyone, they form a sort of rebellion and blah blah blah they manage to get Mika and Lacus and everyone out and blah blah blah they all get separated and Lacus begins to get INSANELY protective of Epic and ends up confessing his feelings to her before he nearly dies and blah blah blah did I forget to mention that I'm making Mitsunnoa and Kimizuki x Yoichi canon and blah blah blah.

Epic kisses Lacus as an instinct. Lacus kisses her again. Mika accepts Yu's proposal then almost dies AGAIN. I kill off some characters for emotional tugs and after a ton of more fighting and revenge and psychological breakings later, Kureto is killed. And Guren (or someone else haven't decided yet) is the new head of their city.

Epic, Mika, and Yu finally let Akane and the kids go. There's a lot of Shinoa Squad bonding but this is a summary so I haven't included much besides the main three. Epic and Lacus becomes canon. Mika and Yu get married. Guren and Shinya get married. Shinoa gets pregnant.

And everyone gets the FUCKING HAPPY ENDING THAT THEY ALL FUCKING DESERVE BECAUSE FUCK

I do plan to be slightly ruthless like the creator and include a lot of heartbreaking scenes, but it's going to be much different than ONS but I still want it to hold on to some core relationships.

I just want them to be happy. And I just want to make other people happy because fuck I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY

So. Yeah.

That's Bloodsucker...

So my question to you is... if I wrote this shit.

If I sat down and typed about 30 books roughly inspired by Seraph of the End and Mikayuu and Mitsunnoa and shit...

Would anyone read it?

♡ a.a.

#mikayuu #yuumika #mika x yuu #yuu x mika #owari no seraph #owari no straights #owari no serafu #seraph of the end #seraph of the gay #Mitsunnoa #i wanna write a book #reimagination #fml #send halp #lacus #new character #akane #what am i doing with my life

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angelswithcigarettes · 4 years ago

Text

“To find a way to cope”

Summary: Morgan finds Spencer's notebooks filled with partly disturbing drawings and poems and learns once again how much of what Spencer feels he doesn't know how to express and how much happened in his childhood he never talks about.

AU: [This is an AU in which Morgan and Reid share a house (as friends). The parts can be read independently.]

Warnings: Past Sexual Abuse

Relevant Tags: Autistic Spencer Reid, Suicidal Thoughts

Word Count: 4626

First Chapter:

Notes: Since this series is the follow up serious to another one of mine "Green" (I will link it in the endnote) there can be some confusion if you haven't read it. But here is a short summary of it so you don't have to read it all and can still 'enjoy' this:

In the story "Green" Spencer gets together with Lola who abuses him following up this abuse he stays with Morgan who helps him recover as much as that is possible. Spencer doesn't want to go back to his apartment so Morgan decides that it is time for a change, they move in together in one of the houses Morgan renovated ones.

They each have their own privacy, their own floors including bathrooms and bedrooms and each of them has their own office but its not a secret to anyone that they also don't have much privacy because at some part after living together for so many years the embarrassment or shame for many things just faded.

However when Morgan picks up a box of books in the basement while looking for his old baseball equipment he feels bad when he looks inside of them.

They are notebooks, written in with black ink and he can tell that it's Spencer handwriting. There is a date on the corner, the note book is hardly a month old. He puts it away and grabs one from further down, revealing another date from eight years ago and he opens up a random page and starts reading.

"And if you look at me

Look at me for another moment

See me

If you really see me

Can you look at me the same again."

It's seems to be an attempt of poetry and Morgan opens another page finding a scetch of a person. Also in blank ink. Their hands scratching at their eyes, looking like they are screaming.

He reads another poem.

"Can you hear me screaming?

Did you hear me screaming for you? You hands burning my skin,you hands burning my innocence.

Can you hear me screaming?

In the latest night, can you hear me screaming?

Did you hear him burning my skin, his hands burning my innocence."

Morgan can feel an unsettling feeling spread through his body, these are too old to be from the time with Lola, judging by the date he must have been in his early twenties.

He looks into another notebook finding a lot of sketches and a few of them look similar to people Morgan had seen before, he figures they are unsubs and then he opens another scatch and it looks like a women, warning a gun holster and having a glass in her hand, her hair shoulder long and judging by the date this is Elle.

Morgan picks up another one, it is dated for approximately a year ago. The drawing shows their house but the windows are barricaded with wood and nails, only a light shining out of Morgan's room and a kitten is sitting in front of their doorstep, skinny and looking up to the doorbell handing in front of the door that is also barricaded.

The next one is a drawing from their kitchen and it shows Morgan, at least he thinks so, sitting at the table with his hand on his head the other around a coffee cup and on the kitchen counter are files stacked and the kitchen table is filled with overflowing cups.

There is a third, showing their bathroom and there is a liquid on the floor,again every drawing is held black ink but he guesses its blood and a handprint on the mirror and in front of the puddle and then there is a hand sticking out from behind the curtain from which the liquid drops down.

The fourth is what makes Morgan want take the notebook with him, it's a man standing in the door and by the tattoos he can make out that it is supposed to be him but he is wearing a mask and he is holding Spencer's stuff animal in his hand while wearing only Jean's and boots no shirt. Morgan can make out that this is supposed to be Spencer's room.

The worst he finds in that notebook is one of a women, sitting on a chair, her head leaned back and her arms sliced open, blood dripping down on the floor and by the necklace, the gun at her hip and the long slightly curly hair Morgan dares to assume that this is supposed to be JJ.

He puts the notebook aside and pulls out one from the time when he started at the BAU and the first drawing is of a little boy with glasses standing in the bullpen that is crowded with files. The second is a room filled with bees at the wall and an empty chair in the middle.

Morgan knew Spencer can draw he didn't know how well he does.

There are a few sketches of Morgan and Gideon and a lot of JJ. And many butterflies and with the ripped out pages in between he guessed that he draw them for her.

He quickly puts everything away when he hears Spencer walking down the stairs but goes back down to grab the one with the poem about the 'burning hands' the one with the sketch from Elle and the one with the drawings from the house and the women on the chair and for weeks he hides them in his office and eventually started profiling a few of them but quickly stopped that, feeling uncomfortable.

"What are you drawing?" He asks stepping into Spencer's office and the man shuts the notebook again.

"I don't draw."

"You don't?"

"No, I haven't in years."

"You haven't?"

"No, I am horrible at that." Morgan steps closer and it fits what he had found downstairs. The little pencil case open, only black pens inside and a pencil with a rubber. "What did you want?"

"Nothing just wanted to check in on you." Looking over he sees another stack of papers, and in a box next to his desk watercolours. "Its getting pretty stuffed in here."

"I like it. And I would like for you to leave now."

"I will." Apologetic Morgan takes his hands up and leaves the room.

There is a high chance that Spencer knows himself that his drawings are concerning and that that is the reason he is so defensive over people knowing he draws.

He keeps his findings a secret for a few more days until he gets to concerned and tries again talking to him about it but the moment he takes the word drawings in his mouth Spencer denies having drawn in the last years and accuses him of having sniffed around his office for things he draw as a teenager.

So he takes the notebooks and in a quiet moment walks up to Hotch's office who is similar concerned by them. For him the worst is one of Spencer himself, someone pressing a hand over his mouth and him into a pillow next to a poem about the lyrical I suffocating.

"There are more that hint at sexual abuse."

"He has a history we know that."

"Some are older than what happened with Lola."

"Did you try talking to him about these?"

"He claims he hasn't drawn in years." Hotch looks further through it finding more and more thinks he finds concerning.

"There are quite a lot of you."

"That's why I am here. I was hoping he maybe would rather talk to you about it. I can't explain why the drawings are portraying me like that." Hotch looks down on the page of a drawing of Morgan laying on the couch, the TV running but he is sleeping. On the table a ashtray with smoke coming from it on the floor next to the couch, multiple books that block his way and lianas hanging from the ceiling one close to curling itself completely around his neck.

"You have a theory?"

"My first guess was that something in the house made him feel captured, or even me but I am not sure."

"I would actually say that it's the opposite. That he feels like he captures you."

"Me?"

"This doesn't look like he is the one captured." He points at another painting showing Morgan standing in the kitchen, one half of his body having spiders all over it his other side being completely normal beside the fingers that in the end turn into bees and more bees flying away from it. "Are you okay?"

"You see this drawings and you ask if I am okay?"

"Besides that these drawing are definitely not something that leave you unaffected there are a few that a showing you in a vulnerable state he probably saw this before drawing it in his own interpretation."

"I am fine, I don't know why he draws me like that."

"Alright I will talk to him about it." Morgan initially wanted to go to JJ with this but she really doesn't need to see the drawings of herself being death by suicide. There is the one on the chair but also one hanging out of a tree with wings on her back.

For Hotch the most disturbing once are the two from a child, being beaten and in the other drawing having wings sitting on top of a clip, stars around them.

Morgan brings him the other notebooks too and in the earlier once its clear that he draws what he sees on cases and around himself. The poems not so much.

But the younger the note books the more it concerns his friends and random children.

Hotch doesn't find many of himself, but there is a notebook around the time Emily died that breaks his heart and when she came back the drawings change to something with more anger and eventually one that shows Spencer and him sitting in his office, Spencer looking at Hotch, Hotch doing the same but behind Hotch stands Emily or JJ he can't tell having a hand on his shoulder and covering his mouth while Spencer has a ghost behind him, covering his eyes.

He thinks long about if he wants to talk to him about the notebooks because Spencer seems to use this to cope and that is a good thing no matter how violent they look but on the other hand it seems like something is really bothering him so after weeks of debating he hands Morgan the box back saying that it feels wrong for him to interfere and Morgan first gets angry but then agrees that it is better if he first talks to him and then can offers Spencer to talk to Hotch if he rather wants that.

So eventually Morgan breaks the ice at a dinner picking up the box and placing it on the table. "You know what this is?"

"A box"

"You know what's in it?" He asks and Spencer nods with worry in his eyes. "I found it in the basement while cleaning it out."

"Did you-" Nervous he bites on the inside of his lip.

"I did"

"They are mine" He tells him, the fear clearly audible in his voice.

"I know, I am just a little bit worried about you, there is some pretty dark stuff in there."

"You weren't supposed to see."

"But I did and I just want to make sure that everything is alright."

"Yes they are just drawings."

"They are not just drawings."

"And poems."

"Not what I mean kid" Morgan grabs the notebook on top and sits down in front of him opening the page with the drawing of their house. "Is this our house?"

"Yes"

"Can you tell me why you draw this?" Spencer shrugs ones, tears in his eyes. "These are yours and I am not judging you or am mad I just think that some of these, because this notebook was finished a few weeks ago, need talking about. And I am just trying to help you."

"I don't know why I draw this."

"What about the cat? Is that Garfield?" Garfield is an old cat they adapted years ago and died.

"Yes"

"You still miss him?"

"Sometimes I wish he comes home again but then nothing is open here anymore."

"Garfield is dead and even if he wasn't dead when we got the call he would be by now." Morgan tells him in a gentle voice. "So this is about Garfield not coming back in,not you feeling captured in here?"

A nod.

"See that's why I think talking about this is good because I completely miss interpreted this."

"Did you see all of them?"

"Yes"

"All of them?"

"Yeah, I looked through them." He nods and then a tears rolls down his face. "Come on we go over to the couch for this, we cuddle up with your stuff lion and we talk about these, you can lean against me no need to look me in the eyes or for me to see your face." Morgan over the years found out that that is what makes him feel the most comfortable while talking. Either on car rides when Morgan can't tear his eyes from the road or while walking somewhere or placed so that Morgan isn't looking into his face.

Spencer ignores the offer to get his stuff animal from upstairs but he takes the thick blanket while Morgan pulls out the cautions from underneath making the couch bigger and then leans against him and Morgan opens the next page.

It's the drawing from Morgan in the kitchen, the files everywhere and the cups on the table. "What's with the Cubs?"

"I don't remember."

"Mr I have an eidetic memory that's very hard to believe."

"Sometimes everything gets dirty in our kitchen."

"And that bothers you?"

"I try cleaning it but it seems like it doesn't get better even when everything is properly stored."

"And the files?"

"It always happens when we have many cases after another and then it isn't fun coming home anymore."

"Because its dirty?"

"Because it's all tight" He tries to explain how the house feels to him. "We can't move in here."

"Is that the same thing you wanted to express with this?" Morgan asks opening the page of him laying on the couch with the lianas from the ceiling.

"Yes and- and that I- that I take your energy away."

"Okay one point after the other, what is it with the house being to tight? We have a lot of space and a lot of garden and everything, what makes it tight?"

"I don't know sometimes it just is." He tells him moving his head back on Morgan's arm shutting his eyes for a moment and then breathing in deeply.

"We don't have to do this all now if its to much for you" He tells him worried about how this affects Reid. "You just explain it the best way you think I will see about the rest."

"You won't get me."

"I do, it's tight in here sometimes, like you can't move."

"Yes"

"And cleaning doesn't help"

"Yes"

"See not that bad"

"It makes me feel bad." He continues and then hits his thigh ones. "Like I need to run."

"Like you need to run?"

"Yes. Like I have to move. Like my legs haven't moved enough."

"Because it's to tight in here?"

"Yes."

"What about you taking my energy away? What do you mean by that?" Spencer turns his head away not looking at the page but then eventually speaks.

"I am really not an easy friend."

"For me you are."

"No I am not."

"You are not taking my energy away."

"You could do a lot more thinks if it wasn't for me." Spencer justifies his statement.

"Like what?" But he just shakes his head still facing away from him and Morgan tries encouraging him to talk to Hotch but Spencer denies the offer so Morgan moves his hand down around his waist and pulls him closer again. "C'mon you did so good with the first drawings and we won't have to talk about this one any more we can just move on to another.”

Rest on Ao3 (I can’t post more words in here I’m sorry):

#criminal minds #spencer reid #derek morgan #ao3 author #aaron hotchner #criminal minds fanfiction #autistic spencer reid #jennifer jareau

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red-becca · 3 years ago

Text

Too Many Reds

One last oneshot I wanna share before Revin week. I swear, this is the last one-

Anyway, I originally only had plans to do one with a lot of Kevins. Much like @nunukim-182's art. As seen here.

But then, I got obsessed with an anime with five Reds. Which is Quintessential Quintuplets (Goutobun No Hanayome). Also, I don't just think Red when watching the anime. It is genuinely a good anime that I enjoyed.

That's about it, really. Hope you enjoy this!

---

"Kev~ Kevin Stoley~ Wake up already, please~" A familiar voice could be heard whispering into Kevin's ear. "Come on, Kevin~ Wake up~"

Kevin made small noises as he squirmed, slowly opening his eyes and seeing his redheaded girlfriend give him a look of concern. "Red? What... What's going on? What happened exactly?"

Red sighed in relief, gently pushing the male's hair back. "Oh, thank goodness that you're okay. No need to call an ambulance for you..."

"Well, none of this would have happened anyway if a certain brute of a lady wasn't so rough with him..." A girl who looked exactly like Red suddenly popped into Kevin's vision, the clear distinction being that she had massive black angel wings and a thorny halo floating above her head. Not to mention, a long flowing black dress and really dark makeup that rivaled the goths' makeup.

"Wait, what?" Was all Kevin could say as he stared at the girl with squinted eyes, still feeling disoriented from waking up.

"Hmph, stop acting all high and mighty! Which you are not, by the way!" Another girl who looked like Red showed herself to the male's vision, her differences this time being that she had on a Viking helmet atop her wild unruly hair that had a few baby braids scattered about and a large battle axe strapped behind her.

"Alright, alright... Girls, I think we should all calm down before we end up scaring Kev off again like last time..." You guessed it, yet another Red clone was with them. This one had clothes resembling that of a pirates, with large gold accessories and a huge scar across her face to go along with the look.

"Oh, shut your mouth! You have no right to boss us around like that! You're not that much older than we are!" Viking Red yells at her, huffing and crossing her arms. "Stop acting like you can easily just be the middle man between the five of us!"

"Hmph! As much as I hate agreeing with such a brute like you, you're right!" Dark Angel Red puts her hands on her hips the turns to Pirate Red. "Don't you ever dare boss us around like that again!"

Pirate Red let out a few nervous laughs as she raises her hands in defeat. "I'm sorry if it seemed like I was bossing you around, you two. I just don't like any fighting between us..."

"She is right about one thing, though!" And then, one final Red showed up. She had three tentacle looking aliens wrapped around her along with a clear green visor over her eyes. "Look, Kevin looks really freaked out at us!" The alien points at the male which makes him jump and get even more nervous.

All five Red looks over at him, making him jump again. Viking Red spoke up first and squinted her eyes at him. "And so he does... What the heck, Kev? Why are you looking at us as if you had only just met us? Huh?"

"Because I have just met you!" He yelled out, getting off his girlfriend's lap, if she even was his girlfriend as he was having serious doubts after witnessing to what was right in front of him. "Red! What the fuck?! Why are there like... four more of you?! And who the fuck are you four?!"

"Umm... Kev, there's always been four of me? Hell, you've meet all five of us before..." Normal Red raised a brow at him, giving him a confused look.

Viking Red angrily pouts at his words, her face looking exactly the way Red does whenever she gets angry. "Hmph! Typical of you to forget about us just like that, Stoley..."

Kevin was about to speak up but Pirate Red beat him to it, letting out a few laughs before she spoke. "Well, the stunt you did with him was pretty severe... Maybe it did a number on his noggin there..."

"So, you're saying it's my fault he's like this?! Typical! Always blaming me when something goes wrong with Kevin!" Viking Red huffs, looking away as she crossed her arms.

"There's no point in arguing about him losing his memory now... All we have to do is introduce ourselves to him all over again. That sounds like the most plausible thing to do... What says you, Alien Red?" Normal Red turns to Alien Red who was happily playing and petting with her aliens. "Alien Red?"

"Hmm? Oh! Me!" Alien Red giggles cheekily and rubs the back of her neck then immediately loses the cheery expression. "Well, first off! Call me by my proper title, you peasants! I am a queen by birth!"

"Didn't you technically renounce that title of yours, princess?" Viking Red smirked, glancing over at her before looking away again.

"W-well... Again, I am a queen! And so I did... Because ruling my kingdom became too much to me... But I am still a queen in my heart!" Alien Queen Red gave a proud grin before turning back to Normal Red. "Wait, Red... What was your question again? I forgot..." She giggles shyly and rubbed the back of her neck.

"Typical... Despite being the oldest one here, you are such the airhead..." More giggles could be heard from the alien. "Then again, you got distracted by yet another snarky comment from our dragonslayer who hasn't even slain a dragon herself for years now..."

"Ooh! You just got roasted, girl!" Pirate Red hollered. "And not even by a dragon as you haven't even seen one in ages! Oh! You just got burned again! How does that make you feel, so-called dragonslayer?!"

Dragonslayer Red smirked as she looked down. "Why, just great, really... It gave me the genius thought that if I can't slay a dragon right now, I'll just slay one of you bitches right now!" She grabs her battle axe from behind her back, ready to swing it right to the pirate's neck.

Dark Angel Red sighed as she used some of her dark magic to stop the dragonslayer before she could even get near the pirate. "What is also typical is all four of you acting with literally no class! Like a bunch of children!" She huffs as she lets go of the dragonslayer. "Let's just get the introductions over with already! I'll just do it for us, even!"

She clears her throat before turning to Kevin, giving him a small curtsy. "Greetings, Kevin Stoley. My name is Dark Angel Red... I know it might be pretty obvious with how I look, that is what I'm named. But just to make things clear and all that..." She points to Alien Queen Red.

"Now, you might have heard her name already but I'll still introduce her, either way. Her former Majesty, Alien Queen Rivqah of the planet Cervana. We mostly just call her Alien Queen Red for short."

Alien Queen Red waved at Kevin and he responded with a small wave back, letting out a nervous laugh as he did so.

"Now, here is-" Dragonslayer Red cuts her off, scoffing loudly as she puts her axe back on her back.

"Oh, I'll damn myself to death first before I even think of letting a stuck up bitch like you introduce someone like me..." Dark Angel Red just rolled her eyes in response. "Anyways..." She spits on the ground and crosses her arms before giving Kevin a death glare, making him gulp nervously.

"I'm impressed you managed to forget someone like me... Unlike these whiny girlies..." The other four girls glare at her after she said that. "I have a personality worth remembering..." She proudly said along with a huge grin, a hand on her chest.

"Umm, I think you were supposed to introduce yourself there... Did you forget to?" Alien Queen Red pointed out, making her face go red and the other Reds giggle under their breath.

"I- Uh- Of course not! I was just getting to it and you interrupted me!" She let out another loud huff and crossed her arms again.

"Oh, right! Of course! My mistake, Dragonslayer Red! Go on then!" The alien giggles innocently, a small smile on her face.

"I mean... You fucking ruined my introduction by saying my name there but..." Dragonslayer Red looked over at Kevin and pointed a finger at him. "You heard it, Stoley... The name's Dragonslayer Red and you better not forget it. Got it?"

"G-got it!" Kevin nodded, shakily raising his hand to give a thumbs up.

This, for some strange reason, got the dragonslayer all flustered, making her look away and cover her face with one hand. "D-damnit... Why must you do that?"

"H-huh? D-do what?" The male asked with a confused expression on his face.

"Ugh! Be a nuisance, obviously!" She angrily yelled, growling underneath her breath.

"S-sorry then!" He raised his hands in defeat, this version of Red definitely being his least favorite with how hostile she was to him.

"And there you go again! Such a nuisance!" She huffed, walking away from the small group to clean her axe.

"Uh..." Kevin wanted to approach her and apologize but was scared she would just snap at him again.

"Oh, just ignore Dragonslayer Red, Kev... She's the biggest tsundere between all five of us..." Pirate Red giggled, waving a hand in the air.

"I am not a tsundere!" Dragonslayer Red yelled. "How many times do I have to tell all you girlies that?!"

Pirate Red laughs a bit before turning to Kevin. "Guess it's my turn, hmm? From my get- up, you would assume my name would be something as simple as say... Pirate Red?" Kevin nodded at her question. "Well, wrong! I'm actually Swashbuckler Red! I used to travel far and wide to find booty..." She smirks at Kevin. "Then I found a booty worth staying for~" She finished with a wink.

Normal Red immediately pushes her away before Kevin could say anything more. "I, uh... Hi, Kev... You obviously already know me... I just get called Red... As there's nothing that special about me..." She nervously laughs before clearing her throat. "Anyways.. Kev, after that whole mess, do you remember us now?" Normal Red asked as all five of the girls stood in a line before him.

"Uh... No! Actually, that whole introduction thing didn't help me at all! Look, I didn't hit my head, lose my memory or anything else!" Kevin yelled as he slowly walked back but all five Red simply just walked towards him.

"Hmm... It seems to be that his condition can't be treated by us simply introducing ourselves... I think each of us need to spend more alone time with him and help him remember something about us..." Dark Angel squinted her eyes at him.

"Oh, yes! Sounds the most scientifically accurate way to get better results!" Alien Queen Red happily exclaimed, wrapping her arms around one of his. "I get first dibs on hanging out with him alone!"

"Uh, no..." Normal Red grabbed hold of his other arm. "What makes you have the right to do that? Nothing, right? Therefore, I have the first dibs on getting him alone because-"

"You're his best friend, blah, blah, blah... We know..." Dragonslayer Red groaned and rolled her eyes as she grabbed Kevin by his collar. "That is a shitty excuse, girly. If anything, he should get to know me first seeing as I am the most amazing and cool one between us..."

"Oh, please... You don't even like him. So, why even bother introducing yourself to him, you filthy brute?" Dark Angel Red huffed as she grabbed hold of Kevin's leg.

"W-well..." Dragonslayer Red started getting flustered, shaking her head to get rid of it. "Whatever! What do you care?! This is my life, not yours! I do what I want with it!"

As all the Reds started yelling and fighting over him, Kevin ended up screaming on the top of his lungs. And that was when he woke up from the horrible nightmare he had... Kevin was now back in his bed with a slowly waking up Red beside him.

"Ugh, Kevin... What the heck, sweetie? It's like..." She checks the alarm clock. "3 in the morning... What's with the scream- Ah!" She yelps as the male hugs her. "A hug? Geez, if you wanted to cuddle while we slept, you could have just asked..." She blushed as she hugged back.

"Oh, it's you! It's really you! The one and only you!" He happily exclaimed, hugging her with tears in his eyes.

"Uh, yeah? It is me? And there is only one me? Why are you saying the obvious to me?" She looks down at him with a confused look.

"I..." He chuckled softly as he cuddles up to her. "Okay, this might sound crazy... But I actually ended up having the same nightmare you had a while back..."

Red laughs at this, cuddling him back. "Please... Kevin, we live in South Park... That's the least crazy sounding thing to be said ever..." She kisses the top of his forehead. "But that nightmare made you realize something, right?"

He gave her a nod and a kiss on cheek. "Mhmm, firstly... More than one Red is not Heaven, it is fucking Hell..." Red laughs at him again. "And that... I'm really happy with the one and only Red I have... The perfect Red for me..." He smiled up at her before they went to sleep again.

#sp red tucker #red sp #red x kevin #red mcarthur #sp kevin #kevin stoley #kevin x red #sp red #red tucker #south park red #sp revin #revin #south park #south park ships #sp ships #oneshot

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rainecloud020604 · 5 years ago

Text

your ass better appreciate this

for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

#fynn #im SCARED #submission

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