#the only good thing is im nearly done remaking blogs-

[sweetcobaltblue]

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[ablednt]

Im not a terf and im sending this in 100% good faith because I like u and i like ur blog but the women post was not it. I think its valid to want more inclusive language but when cis women talk about their oppression they should be allowed to say women because they are talking about their own experiences, u know? Policing an oppressed group of people’s language use when talking about their oppression is peak entitlement.. this is like telling disabled people they cant say disabled while talking about their oppression because other people experience oppression rooted in ableism (any oppression that paints a group as less capable or less intelligent comes from ableism)

Also, while ur right that in some aspects cis women have privilege over trans men (cis privilege) it’s really dangerous to act like trans men are never misogynistic because they often are. Same with nb people. It’s not that black and white, u kno? Anyways i hope the terfs leave you alone soon /:

Yeah maybe I could have been extra clear but I didn't say they shouldn't use the word to talk about their own experiences.

Every discussion on misogyny uses the terms women and men only, centers the cis binary only. Any resources for victims of misogyny and for misogynistic abuse use the terms for women only.

And there's entire discourse groups of cis women dedicated to being transphobic to transmasc and nonbinary people because they can't realize that whilst transmascs can be misogynistic and I'm not at all denying that they are still largely victims of misogyny. Most of the transmascs I know are because a large part of the community isn't able to magically become a man in the eyes of cis men. It's just not nearly as simple as cis and binary people want to make it.

I'm frustrated because I am not allowed to be nonbinary in the eyes of cis women. Even the ones who are supportive of me call me a woman regularly, because I undoubtedly experience misogyny so they will always view me as a woman. Until recently I've always said I'm woman-aligned solely because I knew cis people would never acknowledge me as anything different than that and even when I've tried to gently remind people otherwise it was made clear by the community if I wanted resources for my abuse, if I wanted any space for discussion on just about anything, if I wanted any acknowledgement for being "not man" then I had to ID as a woman.

So I tried to word that post in a way that would get it through to cis women that if they arent talking about themselves or binary women, if they are talking about a general issue that they're trying to start a community discussion about, then they need to stop excluding nonbinary people and everyone else with the same experiences.

Because I'm very tired having that label forced on me every time someone talks about our shared experiences. It's not just women who experience misogyny, and I am not going to change that view just because cis women don't want to think about gender outside of their own experiences.

We have to bend over backwards for cis women because of the misogyny they face even when we face the exact same things. Like not only do I have cis men making my life a living hell the same as theirs I have to deal with their transphobia and forcing a binary on me. Cis men have never and will never acknowledge nonbinary people and gnc transmascs who aren't trying to appeal to their perceptions of men as men. So we don't get the same privilege as cis men and can and often do experience the same things as cis women, all of this is misogyny so why should we only get to call it that if we call ourselves women?

The point of that post was "please use inclusive language before I drown in the dysphoria that I'm getting from being forced by the whole of society to ID as a woman to have my problems acknowledged."

But I was trying to be patient and polite about it and when I said "limit the word woman as much as possible" it was because cis people have had a history of doing the bare minimum so if they tried that they'd still be very much underdoing it. But I shouldnt have said that I should have made it clear from the start and that's on me tbf. Because it was too easily misunderstood and too easily demonized (not by you obvs your criticisms are valid) as well.

I could have worded it better yes. But I'm allowed to talk about the transphobia I face as a nonbinary person to cis women specifically and I'm allowed to ask that they acknowledge their privilege and do something about it.

I will be deleting that post soon anyway because it's now just a swarming ground for transmisogynists and if I remake it ill reword it.

But I'm done trying to appeal to cis women because it's very clear to me if we aren't telling them we're basically cis women but please call us by they/them haha then they will decide we don't belong in their spaces and we don't deserve their solidarity. And that's absolutely crushing to me but until cis women start to acknowledge that gender is so unbelievably complicated and that intersectional feminism means acknowledging that everyone who isn't a cis man will experience a fluctuating level of misogyny based on how they're perceived then we will achieve nothing. And I'm tired of it.

Basically I'm disillusioned with cis feminism because they say it's intersectional but that comes with the unspoken expectation that people who aren't cis (including trans women because they get put through the worst of it because they have TME people as a whole to deal with and I cannot speak on what that's like as I'm TME) cater to them and support them wordlessly and put all of our needs secondary.

Cis women talking about their own experiences and being cis women isn't the problem and I never ment to apply that but the label "woman" is forced on so many trans and nonbinary people who don't ID with it automatically because it is the only label ever used to discuss misogyny because cis women are the ones leading every convo and that's exactly the problem.

Hopefully that gives some insight.

[joulethieves]

Thank You.

thank you to ellie/ @amamiyakitagawa, who found me from balvaan AO3, became my tumblr friend, then my wifey, encouraged me to stream, and stuck with me since the beginning, since night one on 7/11/17, when i was delirious with joy at the remake and sitting in some german family’s mansion basement with a TV the size of my ass, dogsitting idiot labradoodles and axolotls; for staying in streams for hours on end whether it was just us or not. for making me laugh, and indulging in all my stupid headcanons, and being general garbage with me. your presence in my stream throughout this past year speaks volumes and i love you too bitch.

a HUGE huge thank you to @airknight, who also has tuned in since night one, staying for hours on end as well. who was a constant goldmine of information throughout, who helped me patiently through the great crystal, through everything else imaginable, who always showed up to the stream with a friendly disposition even to weird randos that showed up, and who always had something nice to say.

thank you to @chaoticrice, my fellow XII streamer, rarepair lover of dalmscan orphan babs/their archadian bf’s, my fellow fic writer, and good friend. i’m glad you decided to stream too, and look forward to more of your streams. thanks for making it to tonight’s stream even though you were at a baby shower, lmao.

thank you @livvyplaysfinalfantasy, who kept my love for the game alive in 2011/2012 when you started documenting your XII playthrough, and have remained my internet pal ever since. i enjoyed your presence in my streams and your constant source of lore. it’s weird to think how long we’ve followed each other! lol

i wish i could describe the joy i felt on the first night i played the remake. it was really monumental to me. there aren’t a lot of Things i look forward to and it was so refreshing to have that excitement. i’m not a particularly giddy person but i fell asleep that night after 5 hours (y’all really stuck around for five hours and i love you for being a part of that, ellie/izzie/vik/spud/feeny) with a smile on my face. i didn’t even think that was possible. thinking about it still makes me emotional: i was so happy, not just because of the game, but because of you guys. i couldn’t keep myself away from the game, but also, from sharing that excitement with those who tuned in. who talked. who watched. it almost became lonely to play by myself. it was nice to play with other people to talk to.

thank you to the friends that have stuck with me, popping in and out. the game took me long enough to finish, with bouts of Moods that kept me away from it weeks to months at a time. but no matter what, it never changed that i always loved playing this game, and it was amazing to be able to document it through my first ever attempt at streaming, since july 11th.

my two fondest memories (aside from the first night), i think (though this one is hardly a memory), is getting blackout drunk and failing miserably at the captain basch stream. feeny and ellie and izzie were there to witness it, and idk, that was just so hilarious to me, in concept. because i literally don’t remember that much of it. (i was so mortified by the stream footage i deleted it, a regret i now have.)

my second fondest memory is doing archades with ellie and @carnsy, doing the chop quest and making cracky jokes, JULES E_E, and headcanons. it was just us three in that stream in the middle of the night (for me), but it was really, really fun. that’s all that matters.

to be able to chat about headcanons on stream and joke about ships, that’s just...really cool that i was able to do that, and i’m in awe that you all stuck around, through my weird voice and lisps and bad cockney accents.

streaming this has helped give me a spark of joy and i laughed a lot. i can only hope to keep doing it with other games and would love for you to join me, old friends and new, if i play something you’re into.

i don’t know why this game stuck with me so much. all i know is that it did. the fact i draw so much inspiration from balthier and vaan, and xii’s window into ivalice in general, certainly helps. i hope that something else hits me the way this game does, because we aren’t getting a remake of a remake, lol. they did such an amazing job on it, and i am so happy i got to tell the director/producer that in person at PAX east 2017. 

this game has helped me make so many good friends (Ellie, Izzie, Vik, Spud, Tori, Raze, Jay, Sovaz, Carn, Mike, Vivi). im so glad i made it to share that excitement, joy, constant yelling about headcanons, au’s, ship bullshit, and my writing - my writing, which i haven’t honestly done since 2008, until this game came out. my writing, which i still struggle with a lot, but i really really hope to have some good stuff this year, and i hope to become better. this game is my muse. it’s hard to believe i hadn’t written in nearly nine years until it came out again, but it really has been that long. and i’m so glad that i asked in july if anyone wanted to watch me stream it - having never thought about it before - and getting the response i did. i know i took an age and a half to beat it. thanks so much for those who stuck around, or were even just a part of the first couple weeks, as that joy is still so fresh in my memory and heart. for those who joined in mid-journey. for those who made me laugh. thank you. the ffxii-the-remix tag may be finished but i will continue to be garbage on this blog for the game, and my ship. 

and to the followers of this blog that have dealt with my shit, thank you too. thanks for every like and reblog. i see them all <3

anyway time for new game plus bye

#rememberbhujerba