#the only actual paladin features she has are divine smite and divine health

[irkedisaac]

i get this response but i HAVE to point out that vengeance is an oath you can take. one that specifically requires you to forego moral purity and spiritual ease for the greater good. one that i, personally, might want to take after being locked in the tornado from the wizard of oz for 100 years.

my favorite bit in act 3 is that you can trick lorroakan into thinking you killed the nightsong and then when you go to camp and tell aylin shes like "thats funny as shit im gonna go beat his ass you wanna come"

[nerdythebard]

#27: Athena, Goddess of Wisdom

She had to make her appearance eventually, Gods and Goddesses.

Athena is probably one of the most famous deities. Daughter of Zeus, born despite his schemes, ready to defend the people and Olympus. Contrary to Ares's bloodshed, she represents strategy, military wisdom and careful planning. Spoiler alert: we're not making her a Battle Master ;)

Next Time: HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE JAGUAR CRY TO THE BLUE CORN MOON!?

Let's see what we need for the SMITE version of Athena to appear in our D&D game:

Ultimate Defender: Even bigger protector than Artio, Athena is a Guardian with High Crowd Control and High Defence.

Reach for the Sky: Athena uses long-reach attacks and her Ultimate allows her to appear by her companion's side for some extra protection.

You and what Army: Athena can summon the Defenders of Olympus to form a shield wall around her, as well as taunt and goad enemies into fighting her.

---

I know I've done this before many-a-times, but I really have no choice here. Athena is a guardian, she has the divine blood of Zeus in her veins... I have to make her a Protector Aasimar. We get a +2 Charisma and +1 Wisdom, 60 feet of Darkvision, resistance to necrotic and radiant damage, ability to speak Common and Celestial, the Light cantrip, and Healing Hands, which lets us recover Hit Points equal to our level once per long rest.

We're going to take the City Watch background, which gives us proficiencies in Athletics and Insight, two languages of our choice, but we're actually going to customize it and replace the Watcher's Eye feature with Legal Authority from the Inquisitor background. This allows us to become a representative of the law, pass judgments and sometimes even carry out the sentence. Basically, we can now tell those who attempt to invade Olympus

ABILITY SCORES

Strength will be first, our weapon is a spear and those are not labelled as finesse. Next is Constitution, we need to be able to take hits. Follow that up with Wisdom, it's kinda our thing, especially when it comes to strategy.

Charisma will be next, it's important for a good leader (and a proud crafter). Dexterity is a bit lower than I would like it to be, but in SMITE Athena is not the quick-and-nimble type. Finally, we're dumping Intelligence. We really need other abilities more, plus it wasn't a smart decision to punish Arachne for winning a competition.

CLASS

Once again, I'm putting a small twist on the prediction and I think this is the first time on the blog we're doing this.

Level 1 - Paladin: We start with the divine warrior. Paladins get a d10 Hit Dice, [10 + Constitution modifier] initial Hit Points, proficiencies with light armour, medium armour, heavy armour, shields, simple weapons, and martial weapons. In the artwork, we see that Athena is not turtled-up in armour, so giving her a half-plate in addition to a spear and a shield seems like a good option. Our saving throws are Wisdom and Charisma, and we get to choose two class skills (Intimidation and Persuasion).

We start by getting Divine Sense, which informs us of any celestial, fiends, or undead within 60 feet of us. We know the type, but not what the creature actually is.

Lay on Hands is similar to our racial ability, Healing Hands. We have a pool of healing energy, equal to [our Paladin level x5] which restores itself at each long rest. As an action, we can touch a creature and restore its Hit Points by whatever points we have left in the pool. Alternatively, we can spend 5 points to remove one disease or poison from the target.

Level 2 - Paladin: We get Divine Smite. Whenever we hit a creature with a melee weapon attack, we can burn a spell slot to add extra 2d8 radiant damage (+1d8 for each spell slot above 1st-level to a maximum of 5d8). Damage increases by 1d8 if the enemy is a fiend or an undead.

We also get to pick a Fighting Style. To fulfil Athena's role as a guardian, we're once again going to pick Interception. Whenever a creature within 5 feet of us is hit by an attack, we can use our reaction to reduce the damage by [1d10 + our proficiency bonus]. We must be wielding a shield or a simple/martial weapon.

Paladins also get Spellcasting. Charisma is our casting ability, and we do not learn cantrips or rituals. Paladins have access to their full spell list and can each day prepare [Charisma modifier + half of Paladin level rounded down] spells. We start with two 1st-level spell slots:

Divine Favour bathes us in divine light and power, allowing our weapon attacks to deal extra 1d4 radiant damage for 1 minute (concentration).

Heroism increases your allies' morale. Until the spell ends (1 minute, concentration), one willing creature we touch is immune to being frightened and gain Temporary Hit Points equal to our casting ability modifier at the start of each turn.

Shield of Faith surrounds one creature of our choice within range (60 feet) for 10 minutes (concentration), granting it a +2 AC bonus.

Level 3 - Paladin: With Divine Health we are now immune to disease. We also get to pick our subclass, our Sacred Oath. Athena is a devoted protector of her city and the gods, so making her take the Oath of the Crown, to uphold the spirit of the nation and service to law seems fitting. We start by getting some Oath Spells; those are always prepared for us and don't count against the total number of spells known:

Command forces a Wisdom saving throw onto one creature within 60 feet of us, as we utter a single-word demand. On a failed save, the target is compelled to execute that command to the best of their ability at the beginning of their next turn. The command cannot force the target to harm themselves.

Compelled Duel forces one creature within 30 feet to turn their attention towards us and fight one-on-one, provided they fail a Wisdom saving throw. For the duration (1 minute, concentration), the compelled target has a disadvantage on attacks made against targets other than us and must make a Wisdom saving throw when attempting to move more than 30 feet away from us.

We also gain access to the Cleric's Channel Divinity. Once per short or long rest, we can use one of the two effects listed below:

Champion Challenge acts similarly to the Compelled Duel spell, as it prevents creatures who fail a Wisdom saving throw to move further than 30 feet from us. The difference is, this ability affects every creature within 30 feet radius.

Turn the Tide lets us use our bonus action to bolster the injured. Each creature of our choice within 30 feet of us regain [1d6 + our Charisma modifier] Hit Points, provided they have no more than half of their Hit Points.

Level 4 - Paladin: Time for our first Ability Score Improvement. We will, however, take the Spear Mastery feat instead. We gain a +1 to attack rolls made with our spear, the damage dice of the spear change from a d6 to d8, we can use our bonus action to extend the spear's reach by 5 feet until the end of our turn, and finally, we can prepare ourselves for a charge. If a creature that we can see within 20 feet of us gets within our spear's reach on its next turn, we can use a reaction to make an attack against it that deals additional 1d8 damage. If the creature used Disengage before, we're not getting the opportunity.

We can also grab another spell: Protection from Evil and Good grants one willing creature we touch protection from aberrations, celestials, elementals, fey, fiends, and undead. Attack rolls against the target are made with a disadvantage, and the target cannot be charmed or frightened by the aforementioned creatures.

Level 5 - Paladin: With Extra Attack we can now attack twice instead of once during a single Attack action.

We also unlock 2nd-level spells and gain two spells from our subclass spell list:

Warding Bond ties up to one target within 60 feet of us. For 1 hour the target gains a +1 bonus to AC and saving throws, and resistance to all forms of damage. Additionally, whenever the target takes damage we take the same amount of damage.

Zone of Truth creates a 15-foot-radius sphere at a point within 60 feet of us for 10 minutes. Creatures inside the sphere must make a Wisdom saving throw or become unable to lie as long as they remain within the sphere's boundaries. They are not compelled to answer, however.

Level 6 - Paladin: We get our first Aura option. With the Aura of Protection, whenever a friendly creature within 10 feet of us must make a saving throw, it gains a bonus equal to our Charisma modifier.

We also get another spell: Magic Weapon transforms our non-magical weapon into a magical one, for the purpose of overcoming resistances and immunities. Until the spell ends (1 hour, concentration), we also get a +1 bonus to attack and damage rolls done with the weapon.

Level 7 - Barbarian: Surprise! I believe it's the first time we jump into the rage machine. I can already hear you saying 'Ares should've been a barbarian!'. Maybe. Maybe not. Hear me out, though: Athena's rage is cold and calculated. Precise and bottled up, to be unleashed only when necessary.

Multiclassing into Barbarian doesn't give us any new proficiencies or skills, but we do get the Unarmoured Defence. When we're not wearing armour, our AC equals [10 + our Dexterity modifier + our Constitution modifier]. Unlike Monks, we still get this benefit even if wielding a shield.

We also get access to the Barbarian's key feature...

As a bonus action, the Barbarian can Rage and gain the following benefits (provided they're not wearing heavy armour):

Advantage on Strength checks and Strength saving throws

Bonus to damage rolls (+2; changes as we level up) for weapons that use Strength

Resistance to bludgeoning, piercing and slashing damage

The rage lasts for 1 minute (unless we dismiss it earlier, are knocked unconscious, fail to attack a target on our turn or taken damage during such) and while it's on, we cannot cast spells. For now, we can Rage twice before taking a long rest.

Level 8 - Barbarian: We gain Danger Sense, to better detect hostility. If we're not blinded, deafened or incapacitated, we have an advantage on Dexterity saving throws for effects we can see, such as traps and spells.

We can also forget about defence when making a Reckless Attack. When making our first attack on our turn, we can choose to do it recklessly. This gives us an advantage on melee weapon attacks that use Strength on our turn, but until the end of our next turn, all attacks made against us also have an advantage.

Level 9 - Barbarian: We can now Rage three times per long rest.

We also get to pick our second subclass, our Primal Path. And this is the moment where we get our Athenian warriors with the Path of the Ancestral Guardian. With Ancestral Protectors, we can call upon spectral warriors of the past which hinder the attacks of the first creature we hit while Raging. Until the end of our next turn, the target has a disadvantage on all attacks that aren't against us and when other creatures attack the target, they gain resistance to the damage type of the attack they make.

Level 10 - Barbarian: Halfway through the build and we're getting another ASI. We're gonna raise our Dexterity by 2 points.

Level 11 - Barbarian: Normally, we would've gained Extra Attack here, but we've already got it from our Paladin levels and they do not stack. We do, however, get Fast Movement which increases our movement speed by 10 feet provided we're not wearing heavy armour.

Level 12 - Barbarian: We can now Rage up to four times per long rest.

We get a new subclass upgrade. With Spirit Shield, our ancestral spirits now provide aid to those we defend. While we're raging, and a creature we can see within 30 feet of us takes damage, we can reduce the damage by 2d6.

Level 13 - Barbarian: At this point, our Feral Instincts are so sharp we have an advantage on our Initiative rolls.

Level 14 - Barbarian: Time for another ASI. Let's round up our Strength and put the other point into Dexterity.

Level 15 - Barbarian: Our additional damage while raging now becomes a +3.

We now get a Brutal Critical. Whenever we score a critical hit (Natural 20), apart from doubling our weapon damage die, we roll one more of the same die and add it to the score.

Level 16 - Barbarian: At this point, our Spirit Shield reduces the damage dealt to our allies by 3d6.

We also get another subclass upgrade. With Consult the Spirits, we can now use our ancestral warriors to cast either the Augury or Clairvoyance spells without a spell slot or material components once per short or long rest.

Level 17 - Barbarian: With Relentless Rage, we can now fight despite death. If we drop to 0 Hit Points while raging (and don't get damaged enough to insta-kill us), we can make a DC 10 Constitution saving throw and gain 1 Hit Point on a success. Each time we use this feature after the first, the DC raises by 5 and resets after we finish a short or long rest.

Level 18 - Barbarian: We get the final ASI of the build and we put two points into our Dexterity. We can also now Rage five times before rest.

Level 19 - Barbarian: Our Brutal Critical increases to two additional dice when scoring a Natural 20.

Level 20 - Barbarian: We end with Barbarian 14, which ends with another subclass upgrade. With Vengeful Ancestors, we can truly pull the Uno Reverse Card. When we use our Spirit Shield (which now reduces damage by 4d6), besides just reducing damage, the spirits now deal force damage to the target, equal to the damage prevented.

---

And that is Eda Athena, the Owl Lady! Let's see what we got:

To start off, we're a tank with many protection options for both us and our allies. With increased movement, advantages on initiative and damage-dealing rolls, plus some protection spells, we can easily lead and strategize.

With a half-plate and a shield our AC is 17, we have a +2 to our Initiative, 40 feet of movement, and an average HP of 175.

Unfortunately, our spell repertoire is not great, negative modifier to our Intelligence (if you want to fix that, be sure to hunt for the Headband of Intellect), and no ability maxed to 20.

---

Okay, I think this is not a bad build. As always, treat these as suggestions and modify your own builds as you please. I hope you've enjoyed yourselves and I'll see you in the next one!

- Nerdy out!

[tigerkirby215]

5e Rell, the Iron Maiden build (League of Legends)

(Artwork made for Riot Games.)

I SHOULD BE MAKING AKALI RIGHT NOW :))))))

I did a coinflip with Rell: it was either her or Akali and she ended up winning. I’m honestly super hyped for Rell which is odd because I don’t really play tank supports. I find Leona and Nautilus boring as sin, though I do enjoy Galio and Maokai on occasion. I guess I’ve just been playing in top lane a lot more and I want a big bulky tank who I can dive into teamfights with as a support.

Also the memes for this champ are freaking golden.

But Rell presents a very unique kit that has a lot of potential in D&D. Basically I get to make a character other than Nunu & Willump who rides a mount and I get to stick everything I can remotely justify as being Ferromancy onto this character.

GOALS

Run ‘em all down - Rell is the third champ to have a mount. Aren’t horses just the best?

We fight together - Your outside may be cold but connecting to people is how you move on from trauma... or use that trauma for a massive stun in a teamfight.

I’ll bust you down to scrap! - Rell’s quirk is Ferromancy, the magic of manipulating metal, most specifically through magnetism. Fucking magnets; how do they work?

RACE

Rell is a human... but we can’t always go for Variant Human, so let’s spice it up a bit! She may not have divine blood but I’m sure someone at the academy had healing magic. So since she’s a support with eyes aglow with energy why not go for an Aasimar? More specifically a Scourge Aasimar. Your Charisma increases by 2 and your Constitution increases by 1.

Your glyphs give you a big mix of magic from your friends back at the academy: Darkvision for darkvision, Celestial Resistance for resistance to necrotic and radiant damage, Light Bearer for the Light cantrip, and Healing Hands for a bit of healing magic. Your Scourge subrace also gives you Radiant Consumption at level 3, which I’ll cover when you get there.

If you’re set on playing a human: A Variant Human (+1 CON, +1 STR) with either the Mounted Combatant feat or Heavy Armor Master feat would make sense. There are other feats to consider but these would be the most in-character for Rell.

ABILITITY SCORES

15; STRENGTH - Iron stands eternal, and iron is heavy.

14; CHARISMA - You may be a grouchy teenager, and you may also be incredibly awkward when hitting on people, but Charisma is considered as “inner strength” in 5e. You’ve certainly got plenty of that!

13; CONSTITUTION - You are a tank after all, and with the +1 from our race that equals a 14 for a nice boost to HP.

12; DEXTERITY - As heavy as iron is you were trained for peak physical condition. DEX is tied to many things, notably Initiative which is very important for a frontliner.

10; INTELLIGENCE - You went to an academy, but it was a Noxian war academy. Still it’s possible that you got some history lessons.

8; WISDOM - You’re a hothead in both the metaphorical and literal sense. You think asking questions is on the mind of a teenager who’s angry with the world?

BACKGROUND

There’s a lot of backgrounds that would fit Rell, though unfortunately nothing edgy enough like “Test Subject Turned Human Superweapon.” But considering your lifestyle of roaming the Noxian countryside Outlander is probably pretty accurate. You get proficiency in Athletics and Survival and while you’d normally get a Musical Instrument I’d actually suggest you grab Smith’s Tools instead because... yeah duh. You can also learn a Language of your choice so pick whatever you think would constitute Noxian.

Your Wanderer background feature will make sure you survive and thrive on the Noxian countryside. You always remember the general layout of the land, and you can find food and fresh water for yourself and up to five other people each day. And you can even rip some iron out of the earth to make them bowls and cups to eat and drink with!

(Concept art by Riot Games)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - PALADIN 1

Starting off as a Paladin because even if proficiency in Wisdom saves is weird we need the Heavy Armor proficiency because... yeah duh. Speaking of proficiencies take Intimidation because you’re a murder-hungry metalmancer, and I dunno Medicine would make sense since you’re a support and all.

You also get Divine Sense, as the magic in your veins helps you detect celestials, fiends, or undead. And because you’re a support you can use Shattering Strike to heal thanks to Lay on Hands. I could explain both these abilities in detail, but I’m also an angry teenager who’s sick of explaining abilities with insanely long descriptions that you can read for yourself.

LEVEL 2 - PALADIN 2

Second level Paladins get their Fighting Style, and of course for a tank support Defense would be best for more AC. You also get some Ferromancy Spellcasting. (Well technically Divine spellcasting but don’t tell anyone that.) You can prepare a number of Paladin spells equal to your Charisma modifier plus half your Paladin level:

To sharpen your lace (or more realistically pike) a little more Divine Favor will make every blow hurt just a little bit more.

Heroism will help in times of strife to let your anger take over any fear.

To manipulate armor to block some more blows Shield of Faith will increase the target’s AC for a time.

To stun with Attract and Repel Thunderous Smite will do damage and knock enemies prone, making them easier to hit and forcing them to spend time getting up.

But of course you can just as easily ignore all of that in favor of Divine Smite, channeling all your magic and hatred into a burst of Radiant damage on your weapon attacks. Particularly effective against undead!

On Rell’s weapon: I’d suggest a Pike over a Lance because a d12 isn’t worth Disadvantage in melee range, even if you will eventually be performing mounted combat. Feel free to have a lance as backup for when you do start riding a horse.

LEVEL 3 - PALADIN 3

At third level you can choose your Sacred Oath, and I know how much you hate Noxus but Oath of the Crown actually has some pretty good abilities for our purposes. Yup of all the champions to break out the Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide for it’s Rell.

You get two Channel Divinity options: Champion Challenge makes enemies unable to move more than 30 feet away from you for a Magnetic Overload, and Turn the Tide will heal everyone of your choice for a d6 plus your Charisma (if they’re below half health) for some Redemption saves.

But both of these Channel Divinities are admittedly situational, so if your DM allows Tasha’s rulings then Harness Divine Power will also let you recover a first level spell slot. Speaking of spells as a Crown Paladin you get Command to twist your enemy’s armor to your whim, and Compelled Duel for a single-target Concentration version of Champion Challenge.

And as a Scourge Aasimar you get now get Radiant Consumption. As an action you can unleash the magic within you, glowing violently and doing Radiant damage equal to half your level to everyone around you. Additionally, once on each of your turns you can deal extra radiant damage when you damage an enemy with an attack or a spell. The extra radiant damage equals your level. You can only go all out just once per long rest, so if your ever wonder why anime protagonists keep their ultimate attack until the end of the fight: it burns you so much you can only use it once.

LEVEL 4 - PALADIN 4

4th level means another Ability Score Improvement but instead we’re going to be taking a Feat. You’re probably thinking we’re going for Mounted Combatant, right?

WRONG! We’re taking Heavy Armor Master, because you can literally control your armor to make it stronger! Your Strength increases by 1 and any damage you take from non-magic weapons is reduced by 3!

You can also prepare another spell, but we’ll wait for...

(Concept art by Riot Games)

LEVEL 5 - PALADIN 5

5th level time for Extra Attack. Two attacks in a turn to pretend you’re the ADC!

Also time for HONSE! Find Steed lets you summon a Warhorse, and others but a Warhorse is probably the most accurate representation of your mount. The steed is considered a celestial, fey, or fiend (your choice), and its intelligence is set to 6. It can also understand one language you can speak, which is good because you can speak to it telepathically.

You can make any spell that only targets you also target your steed, and when it drops to 0 hit points, it disappears, leaving behind no physical form. You can dismiss your steed at any time as an action, causing it to disappear. In either case, casting this spell again summons the same steed, restored to its hit point maximum.

And thanks to your subclass you also learn Warding Bond to bond with an ally, and Zone of Truth to get the Black Rose to admit to what they did. Technically speaking you can’t put a ring on your horse, but as a DM I’d probably allow you to make a 50 gp platinum horse shoe to give the honse a Warding Bond.

LEVEL 6 - PALADIN 6

6th level Paladins get Aura of Protection. You and everyone within 10 feet of you gets a bonus to saving throws equal to your Charisma modifier, because iron stands eternal and so does teenage angst.

You can also prepare another spell like Aid to steel your party’s resolve for any danger. Metal pun unintended.

LEVEL 7 - PALADIN 7

Here’s why we aren’t taking Mounted Combatant. 7th level Crown Paladins get Divine Allegiance, allowing you to use your reaction to take damage for a creature within 5 feet of you. They take no damage, but the damage you take can’t be reduced or prevented in any way.

Sure a 5 foot aura is just objectively worse than the Redemption Paladin’s 10 foot Aura of the Guardian that does literally the exact same thing (pro tip: ask your DM to just increase the range of the aura), but you know what’s always within 5 feet of you? Your horse. So feel free to take hits for your trusty mount. And if an ally is nearby you should probably tank for them too.

LEVEL 8 - PALADIN 8

8th level means an Ability Score Improvement. We’re still riding around in big bulky armor so more Strength to carry that armor would be nice.

You can also prepare another spell like Lesser Restoration for some Tenacity.

(Concept art by Riot Games)

LEVEL 9 - BARD 1

How’s this for a surprise? Multiclassing into Bard gives you proficiency in one skill, and one musical instrument. Take Animal Handling because you literally summon a horse for yourself, and a Noxian War Drum.

Bards get Bardic Inspiration: d6s equal to your Charisma modifier to help support your allies. They can add the d6 to an ability check, attack roll, or saving throw they make. Buff up their armor, or weaken the enemy’s armor!

But of course as a Bard you get more Spellcasting! Check page whatever-it-is for how multiclassing works. You get two cantrips from the Bard list: Mage Hand will let you magnetize an object closer to you, and Vicious Mockery will let you yell angrily at the enemy not to hurt your friends.

You can also learn 4 spells from the Bard list: you are a support so you can take Cure Wounds for some Summoner: Heal. Disguise Self will help you if Noxian police are looking for you. And both Earth Tremor and Thunderwave will help you manipulate the metal beneath your enemies’ feet and sunder the ground beneath them.

LEVEL 10 - BARD 2

You have a little bit of everything in your glyphs which means Jack of All Trades will always be able to help you. You can also recuperate after a long night on the Noxian countryside thanks to Song of Rest.

You can also learn another spell but we will wait for...

LEVEL 11 - BARD 3

Third level Bards can choose their Bardic College and you did go to the academy to become a weapon after all. College of Valor Bards are instruments of war with Combat Inspiration, letting allies use their Bardic Inspiration to hurt more with their swords or defend themselves better with their armor. “Fight like you mean it. Die for something that matters!” You do also get some skill proficiencies but... you already had them.

You do get Expertise in two skills however! Intimidation comes naturally to a living weapon, and even though it’s technically not a living animal in LoL you still need Animal Handling for your mount from Find Steed.

And finally you can learn spells. If you want the honest truth the only reason we took Bard levels is for Heat Metal, the obligatory Ferromancy spell. But you can also grab Hold Person to lock a foe’s armor in place.

LEVEL 12 - BARD 4

4th level means an Ability Score Improvement, and since we’re now investing in the spellcasting side of things I’d recommend some Charisma to make that better. Remember that more Charisma does mean more Paladin spells, so be sure to hop back there to prepare more.

Because I’m not going to tell you what to prepare, as we need to concentrate on your new cantrip! You are the ferromancer, so Mending is kinda obligatory. You can also learn another spell but again we shall wait for...

LEVEL 13 - BARD 5

5th level Bards get Font of Inspiration, letting their Bardic Inspiration come back on a Short Rest. Which is good, because your Bardic Inspiration increases to a d8!

You can also learn third level spells now which means we can finally take Mass Healing Word to further our support role, and Hypnotic Pattern for a massive team-wide stun.

(Artwork by @Cookie3v3 on Twitter)

LEVEL 14 - SORCERER 1

You were born with magic after all, so I’d have to go into Sorcerer at some point. It’s just that the other levels were more important, and this kinda ends up being more for flavor than anything. Regardless you get your subclass at level 1 as a Sorcerer and hey I actually get to use the Clockwork Soul for a Ferromancer. You can Restore Balance at level 1, denying Advantage or Disadvantage and turn it into a straight roll.

Oh and hey: more Spellcasting! But this time with a side of Clockwork Magic for Abjuration or Transmutation spells. Since both the spells you’d normally get a little iffy I’d suggest replacing them with both Absorb Elements and Shield for some Magic Resistance and Armor.

You also get four cantrips and two leveled spells. Fire Bolt lets you fling a piece of molten metal at the enemy, because you may as well have a ranged weapon. For some basic metal sundering from the ground Mold Earth will let you manipulate small pockets of iron in the soil. Message will let you coordinate with your teammates without yelling everything in /all. And because you’ve got a ridiculous amount of cantrips you may as well grab Prestidigitation for basic magic manipulation.

For your leveled spells Magic Missile will let you fling metal with the utmost precision, and Burning Hands for burning metal addressed to “whom it may concern.”

LEVEL 15 - SORCERER 2

Second level Sorcerers get a Font of Magic. You get 2 Sorcery Points that can be converted into spell slots... for now. So basically you get another first level spell slot!

LEVEL 16 - SORCERER 3

3rd level Sorcerers get their Metamagic. These are features that use your Sorcery points to augment your spells: to make sure that no one lives to hide the tale of the academy Heightened Spell will give an enemy disadvantage on their first saving throw against one of your spells. Alternatively if you want to both stab and smash Quickened Spell will let you cast a spell as a Bonus Action, to really maximize your APM.

You also get more Clockwork Magic, but since you already have both Aid and Lesser Restoration I’d instead suggest taking Levitate for some reverse-magnetism, and a little spell from Elemental Evil called Maximilian’s Earthen Grasp.

If your opponent doesn’t know how magnets work then Blur can really mess with their ability to hit you. And you know I haven’t taken Flash yet so... Misty Step!

LEVEL 17 - SORCERER 4

Fourth level Sorcerers get an Ability Score Improvement and well we did invest in 3 different spellcasters, so increasing that spellcasting with more Charisma would probably be smart. Remember that more Charisma means more Paladin spells! As well as a stronger Paladin aura and more Bardic Inspiration.

You also get another spell known and honestly there are a lot of great ones at second level of Sorcerer but Shatter is the best for ripping through metal. You also get another cantrip because I guess Sorcerers don’t have enough cantrips: if you get surrounded you can sunder the ground as if swords were bursting around you... in a Sword Burst... yeah...

(Artwork made for Riot Games)

LEVEL 18 - SORCERER 5

5th level Sorcerers get third level spells and I’d hate to admit it but both Dispel Magic and Protection from Energy from Clockwork Magic do make sense for Rell.

But you know what we don’t have enough of? Ground-based attacks. So take Erupting Earth, because your magic is Ferromancy. Not Fireballs or Haste, both of which would probably honestly be stronger. Honestly feel free to drop some of your early Sorcerer spells, because you’ve got more than enough spell slots for the big stuff.

LEVEL 19 - SORCERER 6

6th level Clockwork Soul Sorcerers get the feature we kinda went into this subclass for: Bastion of Law. As an action, you can spend 1 to 5 sorcery points to create a magical ward around yourself or another creature within 30 feet.

The warded creature gets a number of d8s equal to the number of sorcery points spent to create it. When the warded creature takes damage, it can expend any number of those dice to roll them and reduce the damage taken by the total rolled on those dice. This is going to be one of your main supportive features... atop of all your other “main supportive features.”

Oh and you’d get more spells but I kinda want...

LEVEL 20 - SORCERER 7

7th level Sorcerers can learn 4th spells like Sickening Radiance for some good old-fashioned war crimes, and Fire Shield which was added to the Sorcerer spell list thanks to Tasha’s! Clockwork Magic also lets you weaponize your horse with Summon Construct, but I’d suggest grabbing Banishment as your other spell to lock the weak away like they did to the Null.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Fighting together? Guess it's not too bad - You’ve got plenty of good assists. Bardic Inspiration and Bastion of Law shields, and a big pile of spells to help the team.

Nothing gets in; no one gets out - Turns out that manipulating metal means very little can get at you. Strong AC, very good range with Reach to play keep-away in melee and a horse to run around, and of course Aura of Protection to turn your weakest save into a +5! And decent HP to boot!

This is who I am now - It wasn’t my intention when making the character but... turns out Jack of All Trades does in fact make you a jack of all trades. Decent skill checks all around and a crazy good Intimidation check means that while you maybe won’t be the first choice you’ll always be up for the task.

CONS

“Excellence is measured in sacrifice”... or whatever - Three way multiclassing gives you a lot, but not a whole lot of it. Your spell slots go all the way up to 8th level but your best spells max out at 4th level. Smites exist and you can always melt down your spell slots, but perhaps it would’ve been smarter to lessen the number of classes and get more value out of what you have.

That's... that's cool... I'm cool... - Ever heard of the concept known as “choice paralysis?” With so many spells to choose on top of subclass features that take your actions it can be hard to pick what’s right in every scenario. Woes of playing support, where you need to think of everything at once. Can’t just run in and stab.

The helpless fight; the hardened live - Jack of All Trades is good for skill checks... not for combat. You can fight, heal, and sling spells decently but don’t really stand out in any particular area. You’ve got a hundred different tools to deal with the rabble but when your friends go All Out you’ll likely be stuck getting assists.

But you’ve got all a girl could ever ask for: a cute pony and enough armor to survive a ballistic missile. You were built to be a weapon and a damn good weapon you are: as sharp as you are sturdy, and as versatile as you are resourceful. Who cares if you’re a little rough around the edges? You’re sixteen! You’ve got your whole life ahead of you! Minus the lingering trauma of being tortured by your own mother... Eh. Who doesn’t have a tragic backstory nowadays?

(Artwork by @dreadstardraws on Twitter.)

[zippdementia]

Part 91 Alignment May Vary: A Final Farewell to Haggemoth

I mentioned this last post, but if you are interested in playing through Haggemoth in 5th Edition, Robert Kendzie and I have updated it so you can do just that! It is one of the most entertaining modules I have ever played, and I can’t recommend it enough! Check it out here.

This post continues our multi-part Return to Haggemoth blog post. Having found a way inside Haggemoth’s Sanctum, the companions are now faced with finding the Inevitable rumored to have been trapped here for centuries. So far, they’ve found other interesting things, including spell sucking tentacles that are a harbinger of the end times; a strange creature who lives inside the Sanctum’s paintings, known as the Painted Mummer; another strange creature living in the paintings, this one a gnomish ally named Lhu-Ee; and signs of destruction and several deadly monsters. But they have yet to come across the Inevitable. 

Finding the Inevitable isn’t their only goal, however. Milosh is also on a quest to rid himself of Illrastayne, picked up from a Marilith in Esheballa’s realm, and he’s been told the soul inside the sword made its contract here, in the sanctum.

This search leads the companions eventually to a thrice-locked door, a door which emanates such a powerful repulsion that it nearly causes Imoaza and Milosh to go mad from its effects. But they eventually find the keys hidden in Haggemoth’s Sanctum and open the door, to find an antechamber with yet another painting, this one of a Dark Tower. In the Tower the Mummer taunts them, telling them that if they go further, they will surely meet their end... and he encourages them to do so with glee, then slams shut the window to his tower and lets them make their decision.

They decide to push on, and they enter an unusual room.   

Demonic Delight

This room is dominated by a huge hunk of obsidian, sitting at its far end. Floating above it is one of the most ornate lutes you’ve ever seen, and from it strums unspeakably sad music, pouring out like the tears of an angel to fill the space around you.

Carrick is a paladin, and his divine senses go crazy when they enter the room, alerting him immediately that something dark and evil lurks here. It is then that the sword Illrastayne rises from Milosh’s Warforged back and begins to strike at the companions, darting around the room quickly and dealing massive damage with each strike. This is what Milosh feels he came here to do: defeat the sword. And so he fights it, and with his companions, they defeat the blade, Imoaza’s Blackrazor finally cutting it in two as the two blades clash.

Yet, it feels too easy, too straightforward. Milosh turns to the lute then, and raising his Abyss Breaker gunarm, he blasts it into a thousand pieces.

And instantly, Milosh disappears, while the blade laughs a deep and terrible laugh.

Milosh found himself in an unexpected place. It was a pavilion, the inside of a huge tent brimming with decadence. Pillows were stacked comfortably in all corners of the pavilion, while hookahs and wine bottles lay amid the piles like preludes to greater comforts. There was only one other person here, and Milosh knew instantly it was not what it seemed, for the visage it wore (that of a Halfling Bard) it wore like a bad fitting set of clothes. The halfling’s features were bloated and shadows played across his features, darkening them and bringing its wide curves into sharp focus. His smile was too large, his eyes too small and too black. His red hair blew in a wind that wasn’t there.

He gestured to a devan in front of him.

“I think it’s time we talked,” the demon said.

The demon tells Milosh that he is pleased that Milosh brought Illrastayne here, for the sword was only containing his full power. He gives his name as Athica-Ickzaz, and tells Milosh that he doesn’t mind if Milosh knows it, for he will never be able to control him. 

“The Halfing thought he could,” the demon says. “Fancied himself a warlock. And for a time, he was right. But I drove him to his death in the halls of White Plume Mountain, made him stick his head down a Manticore’s gullet. And at the very end I gave him just enough of himself back to realize what was about to happen.

“Even then, I was bound to him by our contract. But you’ve finally ended that. You’ve killed his last song. Now I am free to take another soul. Yours.”

Milosh argues, saying he is here to kill the demon and free himself, that he will never again be slave to another’s will and desires. But Athica-Ickzaz just laughs. He tells Milosh that there is no deal to be avoided here. Milosh’s soul is already his.

“I took it while you wallowed in self pity and misery. I took it the moment you failed your mission. I took it from you, and you didn’t even notice. I’ve been working on you ever since you first grasped my hilt in the Abyss. I didn’t bring you here to barter for what is already mine, Milosh. I brought you here to ask you a question. Three questions, actually. And I tell you what. If you can answer them all correctly, maybe I’ll reconsider.”

The questions are thus. Who are you? Who do you fight for? Who will mourn you while you are gone?

While Milosh is being asked these questions, back in the material plane, Imoaza and Carrick have been locked inside the room where the lute hung and are forced into combat against three Vrocks, flying demons with vicious claws and biting attacks, who explode into deadly spores when wounded. This battle turns dangerous fast, as I roll two critical hits against Carrick and Imoaza, dropping them down massively in health when they are already injured from their time spent in the sanctum. But they turn the tide, with Carrick giving himself magical weapons through his spells and divine smiting, so that he can injure the abyssal creatures, and Imoaza landing a critical blow of her own. She describes impaling one of the Vrocks against a wall, then withdrawing Blackrazor and in the same motion slicing its head off, before turning to try and help Carrick, who is flanked by the other two. Carrick fights with the ferocity of a zealot facing down his age old enemy, feeling the rage of Primus within his soul as these beings of Chaos try to bring him down.

Milosh, meanwhile, answers the questions. He is Milosh, nothing more and nothing less. He fights for himself. His friends will mourn him when he is gone. He says all of this with disdain, telling the demon with every answer that this little therapy session means nothing to him. That he has kept his mind focused on one thing: freedom. He won’t be turned from his course now.

The demon hears his answers, sometimes sullenly, and sometimes with anger. But when they are all spoken he simply laughs.

“Wrong.” he says. “There is but one right answer to all three questions. No one. 

“You are no one. You do not have an identity because you are nothing but the tools of others, as you shall now be my tool.

“You fight for no one. You say you fight for yourself, but you yourself are no one. You want freedom, but such is the way of chaos, not balance! For what is chaos but the ultimate expression of freedom?

“You say your friends will mourn you when you are gone, but no one will mourn you, Milosh. They intend to have you save the world, and die in the trying. They want to use you as much as I do. But my way at least is more honest to the desire in your heart.

“But here,” the demon says with mocking care in its voice. “I shall give you one last chance to free yourself. One last chance to prove that you do not want my bargain. For I left the sword some time ago, and took up residence somewhere more suited to my power, somewhere already filled with the essence of the abyss.”

Here the demon points, and Milosh follows its gaze and feels his heart go cold.

“Yes. Your prized weapon. Destroy the Abyss Breaker and you can have the so called freedom you desire. I’ll grant you ultimate freedom, freedom from all bounds.” The demon laughs madly, knowing that Milosh will never do this, knowing that it has won.

Indeed, Milosh kneels before the demon then. “Very well,” he says. “I accept your terms.”

The demon smiles and prepares to accept his new acolyte, but as Milosh finishes speaking, he powers up the Abyss Breaker one final time and unleashes its energy into the weapon itself, blowing it apart and off his arm. Athica-Ickzaz has time to give one final astonished scream of fury before the blast overwhelms him, destroying him once and for all.

Moments later, the remaining two Vrocks, their claws poised to rip the throats out of Imoaza and Carrick, suddenly cry out in pain as they burst into flame, dying along with their master.

There is a massive flash of white light and then, falling out of that light, is a figure they have never seen before, though they know him. A Half Orc, with a curious tattoo burned into his left cheek, falls prone and naked onto the floor of the contract room. They only know it is Milosh because of a single piece of his armor that remains to him, a plate over his chest, with a circular indentation in it, inside of which whir moving mechanical parts. Otherwise, Milosh has been freed of all bounds, as per the demon’s boastful promise. He is no longer an instrument of the Surveyor, who bound him to the prophecy so long ago. He is now Milosh again, Milosh of Eberron, free to make his own future.

And the first thing he does is borrow some clothes from Carrick’s rucksack. 

The Painted Mummer

Following Milosh’s unexpected transformation, the party gets a much needed short rest, which is all the time they can spare at the moment. Lhu-Ee warns them the Ethereal is still being torn into by the Abyssal plane due to Abenthy’s meddling, and something is specifically coming to this sanctum, though he cannot tell what. They are running out of time to find the Inevitable. Lhu-Ee also thinks he knows where the Inevitable might be, however. He is guessing it lies trapped in the rooms beyond the Sanctum, the place where Haggemoth set his final project, his great scales.

Getting to the scales presents one final obstacle. The doors to Haggemoth’s scale room are broken and blocked by fallen rubble. Lhu Ee says he knows a way past, but it is very dangerous.

He leads the PCs to a small room full of paints, where long ago Karina found and took a jar of Marvelous Pigments. She didn’t fully understand the significance of the paints back then. Lhu Ee shows this new group of adventurers the full power of them, power that has been amplified by Haggemoth’s tinkering.

The paints are how Haggemoth has created the Mummer and Lhu Ee, and the painted worlds. Now the PCs will have to use them to traverse those worlds to enter an unfinished painting in Haggemoth’s scale room. However, to get through the worlds, they must face the Mummer.

We set this up as both a battle of wits and a battle of combative ability. One PC must stay in the real world to paint the other two into the painted world. That PC can also control the painted world, to a degree, affecting the world to try and help the PCs. This uses their Wisdom score, and the Sleight of Hand skill for proficiency. Milosh volunteers to be the painter. Carrick and Imoaza sit by a wall and Lhu Ee tells them to try and clear their mind of any thoughts. He says this may feel a little weird. Then he begins to instruct Milosh on how to paint, telling him that, despite what he might think, closing his eyes might be a good idea, too.

“You need to picture them in your mind,” Lhu Ee tells him, “before you can paint them on the canvas.”

Carrick felt like his skin was running. He tried not to fight the sensation, though it was difficult. His mind was screaming at him that this was all wrong, that he was melting, he was drifting, he would never be whole again. Then the sensation stopped and he was no longer in the painting room. Now he was in the painted room, instead, a long stone platform arched by pillars. To either side were stars, an endless expanse of them. At the far end of the platform, in a stone throne, sat the half-grinning, half-scowling Mummer.

The air had a strange quality to it, Carrick noticed. It was thick, and he didn’t think he was breathing it so much as tasting it. It had an acrid taste, like bitter roux and rusty copper. The world was strange to look at. If he concentrated, the whole thing became oddly flat, like he was looking at a piece of paper with the background drawn on it. Yet when he moved, that background exploded into three dimensions all around him and he moved through it, each step shifting the perspective noticeably, so that moving didn’t happen as a smooth transition, but almost as if someone was rushing to keep up with him, painting the new perspective with each step he took.

Suddenly there was a twisting of the color about five feet away and Imoaza appeared. Only... she wasn’t quite Imoaza. This Imoaza was more snake like, having no legs, and a far more serpentine face. She slid across the ground on a thick body that ended in a thick, long tail. Her tongue flicked in and out of her mouth and when she opened it to speak, only hissing and haaahing came out. It was language, but the language of the Yuan Ti. Not one he spoke.

Carrick realized she carried a sword on her back. Black Razor, though it had changed, too. It was massive, shaped like a gigantic cleaver. It looked impossible to wield, but as he watched Imoaza reached behind her with a single slim arm and lifted it easily. The sword spoke in a deep husky voice, in a language totally alien to him: “Watashitachiha aku o uchi makashi, watashitachi no michi o susumimasu.”

Oops, Milosh thought, as he opened his eyes and saw what he had painted.

What follows is one of the most interesting battles we have ever run in over four years of this D&D campaign. Each turn, Carrick and Imoaza take actions, as they normally would in combat. The Mummer transforms himself into different giants to do battle against them. He also changes the setting, causing massive changes to the battlefield, like breaking apart the platform, making it slippery with ice, and causing it to run red hot with lava. Milosh can’t fight with the others, but he can try to outpaint the Mummer, redirecting his changes into something harmless or useful to the other players. In this way, we get some really interesting moments, such as...

The Mummer causes ice and sleet to rain down on the PCs. Milosh builds a tunnel over the platform to protect them.

The Mummer knocks Imoaza off the platform, but Milosh catches her by drawing a lower platform and then builds a set of stairs to rise her above the battlfield so she can launch attacks from afar at the Mummer.

The Mummer, as an Ice Giant, throws his throne at Carrick, and Milosh turns it into a wooden chair mid throw so that, while it still hits Carrick, it does far less damage.

The Mummer lifts the platform into a slide and causes a cascade of lava to rush down it, bringing him (in fire giant dreadnaught form) charging down it towards Carrick. Milosh draws a platform under Carrick, which lifts the Paladin up so that he can meet the Mummer’s charge. This is actually one of my favorite moments of the fight, and a major turning point, because Carrick uses a thunderwave against the fire giant and, normally, this would be a VERY easy save for the fire giant, because of his immensely high Con saving throw. But he actually rolls a failure and so is knocked prone by the thunderwave, at which point...

... Milosh has freezing water cascade over the lava, turning it to hard obsidian and trapping the Mummer inside. Then Carrick leaps onto the Mummer’s chest and deals him a critical blow, breaking his chest apart and exposing his heart, which he stabs viciously, ending the fight.

When the Mummer is defeated, his essence turns into a Painted Spear, a magical weapon that Carrick wields, and whose damage type he can choose before every strike. Then the PCs have to find a way out of the collapsing painted world. They do so, running through one of the paintings in the process (the painting of a dark tower they saw in the room before the demon). This is a tense moment, because in the tower they find a tear in the painted world that leads to the unfinished painting. With little time to spare, Milosh has to paint everyone through that tear, including himself (in a very strange meta moment).

The risk is high, for if Milosh fails to properly paint someone into the real world, they will simply melt into paint, destroyed forever (Carrick almost experiences this when he tries to push through the rip before Milosh has finished painting him, and watches his fingers begin to bleed away into wet paint).

They do manage to pass this section, though it is a close thing. Lhu Ee has enough power to keep his little corner of the painted world safe, and the players say that they will take him out of the sanctum and into the wider world, as a new companion, for which Lhu Ee is ecstatically grateful.  

Inevitable

And so we come to the final room of this final dungeon. When I say final, I mean that this is the last dungeon in our game, though it is not the final encounter, not by far. Still, there is a definite weight of importance settling on our party as we tackle the last room. We are drawing close to the end, and everyone knows it. Now the final pieces begin to be put into place.

This room is massive, containing the forge Haggemoth used to build his final project, his scales meant to restore his soul. The edge of the room  has no walls, instead terminating in an open pit filled with lava, with tunnels running further on into darkness. Over this pit there used to be a bridge, which in turn led to the aforementioned scales, but they were destroyed long ago by Abenthy, who then sent Haggemoth’s soul to Ia’fret. Haggemoth has since moved on from his lair, his soul freed when Ia’fret was destroyed in the final days of the Blood War. But there is one being still trapped in Haggemoth’s sanctum, an Inevtiable, trapped in stone by Haggemoth’s Golem ages ago, hundreds of years ago. The room is lit by the red hot glow of the lava lake that lies just beyond the cavern.

The Golem itself was defeated by Karina, Abenthy, and Bitterberry (in a fight the players are fond of remembering, as Karina landed several critical hits while blinded). Its husk sits at one end of the room and has decayed so that its mechanical workings are revealed. One of its arms, the group can see, resembles Milosh’ gun arm. Though he doesn’t have a gun arm anymore, Milosh can recognize the device and has a general idea of how to fire it if it can be powered up. However, he doesn’t know what it does, and he doesn’t know how to get it working.

Here, the players team up, each using their own proficiencies and backgrounds to solve this puzzle. Imoaza studies runes on the outside of the gun and determines that they will power the gun with the ability to fire a “Mud to Stone or Stone to Mud” ray. She surmises that this was probably used for excavation by Haggemoth and may be what trapped the Inevitable in the first place. Regardless, she believes it will free the Inevitable. Carrick uses his Surveyor’s knowledge to open up the gun and see how to rewire it to fire. Then the three come up with a plan.

Imoaza has the most deft fingers, so Carrick walks her through the steps of which wires need to be touching in order for the gun to work. He then prepares to unleash some of his spell power into the gun, powering the runes. Milosh is the only one strong enough to actually lift the gun and aim it, so he hefts the cannon up on his shoulder and points it at the rock, bracing himself to hold it steady.

Much can go wrong here. If Imoaza is not fast enough or precise enough, the gun will overcharge and release its magical energy in an explosion that will hit all of them. And if Milosh does not aim properly, they will miss their opportunity to free the Inevitable. Carrick only has enough spell power left for one charge, and they do not have time for a long rest, as Lhu Ee tells them time is running out... something is coming to the Sanctum through the ethereal. As if to punctuate this point, the earthquakes resume, stronger than ever...

“Now!” Carrick cried, shunting power into the gun. Imoaza held together the wires with steady hands and Milosh felt the power of the gun rushing through him, vibrating him down to his bones as it powered up. He planted his feet and gritted his teeth as the blast exploded from the gun. It was more powerful than he had expected. He could not see past the stream of power and had to trust he had aimed true. Then all at once, it was over. The gun fell silent, the ray ended, and in front of them there was a swirling of light and color and a voice which had not spoken in many centuries, a voice neither male nor female, though it leans more towards the feminine, addressed them:

"I am known as the Mardouk," it says. "I was... am... the Inevitability of Justice, though the title was taken from me and worn by another."

The Inevitable is too weak after its centuries of imprisonment to take physical form. It is only able to manifest in the dust left over from the destroyed rock, the dust glowing as it speaks and occasionally drifting together to suggest the shape of a large humanoid.

The Inevitable fills in the missing pieces of the prophecy, and explains the overview of what is going on, and what led to this point.

He tells of how he was summoned from his Hall on the plane of Mechanus by a dwarven wizard to cater to “the small matter of his soul.”

“Now,” the Inevitable says, “the one who has taken my title ushers in Chaos. Abenthy is trying to end the world, for he believes that in weighing the good against the evil, evil fills the world more, and to cleanse it is the only path forward. He does not know it, but he walks a path created for him long ago by Primus itself.”

The Inevitable tells them Chaos exists in all things. It exists even in Primus' creations. Angels, Devils, and the Ancient Dragons... they are some of Primus' earliest works, sprung from his battle with Chaos. The prophecy told of them coming together, the chaos within them allowing the power of the Abyss to be channeled directly into a single point, a single being. The prophecy also tells how to destroy it.

The Inevitable gives them a wealth of information on how the finale should play out.  Friezurazov is the throne of power in the prophecy, a leyline in the world where reality can be weakened. It radiates power, and this power is what originally drew the Stone Giant Kirazov to the land, to make the Jarlberg (the seat of that radiation) his lair. Now Abenthy has taken that seat back and from there plans the end of the world.

He also tells them what the cryptic lines mean in the prophecy. A sword is needed, a sword created from the Abyss which can fight against it (Blackrazor). The stone is needed, to summon Primus at the end, for Primus must be destroyed as well (the piece of Surveyor’s stone Carrick recovered). But what he says next chills them:

“As long as Primus exists, so too will Chaos. That is balance. For Chaos to be wiped from this world, Primus must be erased from existence as well. This is the shield: a sacrifice one of you must make. For Primus will inhabit one of you, to make him mortal, and then that person will be destroyed.”

“It could be any one of you,” the Inevitable continues, and the rock dust forms into a finger which points at each of them in turn. “Imoaza, you have the ability to see and manipulate the weave. You could weave Primus into your own soul, and thus channel him. Carrick, you wear the skin of a Surveyor, a being made of Primus’ light. You could summon his full being into your body. And Milosh, you wield a chest plate forged in Mechanus. Primus’ hands forged it, and it can contain him for a time, if needed. But the decision of who is to make this sacrifice, of who is to be the shield, is up to you.”

This knowledge overwhelms the PCs as they look from one to the other, knowing that one of them will not, cannot, survive the final battle, if they are truly to win against Abenthy.

The Inevitable lastly speaks to Milosh: “Primus' source is needed, to cleanse the chaos from the soul it has infected. I shall give this power to you, Milosh, for only you, who bears the armor of Primus, can channel it.”

With this, the Inevitable’s voice fades, as armor and a forge hammer, made by Haggemoth’s own hands, rises from the pool of lava in which the scales once stood, the armor and hammer protected from the lava by the incredible magic built into them. They fly to Milosh and he claims them, gaining incredible defensive and offensive power. Then the Inevitable channels itself into MIlosh’s chest plate, giving him the last of its power. Milosh gains an insanely powerful blast, a divine judgement that unleashes radiant energy in 60 feet around him... but which can only be used once per day and which costs a 5th level spell slot.

It is the power which can strip Chaos from a soul.

Before the PCs can spend much time contemplating their new discoveries, Lhu Ee cries out that something horrible is breaking through into their world!

As he says this, the place begins to shake as earthquakes rip through it. Ethereal tentacles push through the fabric of reality, whipping all around the players, distorting reality wherever they touch. A massive tear cuts through this plane and something else emerges into the cavern. Tearing its head through the rip in space time comes the Tarasque, the great beast last seen at the Maakengorge. It opens its maw, roars, and goes immediately for Milosh, snapping him up in its jaws.

... and that’s where we’ll end this blog post, at least in terms of its recounting the story. There is one last thing I wanted to address, and that was a question the players contemplated at the end of this session. The question was whether this plot line has been “inevitable.” Could they have let the Inevitable free all those years (2 1/2 years real time, some 100 years game time) ago? Would that have derailed this massive build up to the end game?

The answer is that none of this was set in stone (no pun intended). The ending that is coming is very much built off of their actions. Most of the game has gone like this. I have planned very little, and I don’t lock in plans until generally a session or two before we reach them. Even then, locking in is a very generous word.

Milosh’s transformation is a good example of this. I had ZERO idea that Milosh was going to shed his robotic form and return to his original one. It just fit with the moment and with what I knew about Milosh’s character from how the players has portrayed him. It was the arc Milosh was describing to me. I just described the conclusion that he was steering towards.

One thing my players point out is how well the pieces have all fit together, especially when the Inevitable points to each of them and explains how each could channel Primus. They say it feels like this was planned from the beginning. And again, I can only say that it couldn’t have been. I did not know that these three characters would even exist when we started playing this game. Even the Prophecy itself originated as a piece of throwaway description, a mural on a wall inside the Temple of the Maakengorge because a player asked me to describe the walls and I wanted something mysterious and tied in to characters they knew. From there, it just grew to fit all the pieces of the story that had been unexplained.

Same with the Surveyor and even Primus. Those plot points came about because I wanted a way to tie Carrick’s player into the game, as he was new to it and the other players already had 2 years of story under their belt. I needed to tie him very directly into the plot, so that he (and they) would see his character as being as important as they were. Thus, I threw in a detail about a clone of Carrick in the Yuan Ti Fane that they come across. I had no idea where this was going at the time, but eventually it became the plot about the Surveyor.

It’s funny, because it does really feel like the prophecy and the Surveyor have been here since the beginning. But that’s because I tied them back into the Jade Statue, and the Sunken Temple, which was literally how we began the game.

Not planned, but always looking to be tied in. Details of the game were never forgotten, in large part because of these blogs. They, more than anything, have been the tool that has allowed me to tie so much together in the end.

That it has all worked out to feel “inevitable” is something I take as a huge compliment, a sign that I was able to weave the threads the players gave me into something coherent; something that was better than a predetermined story, because its pieces belonged, inexorably, to them.

We’ll get closer to the conclusion next time, as the game enters a very interesting phase, with some new mechanics to represent our epic level of play (they players are all level 19 now).

[asylum-miniatures]

Entry 13 - reading up

part 13, checking in and checking out

Draspher wakes up groggily after having had the snot beaten out of him.  He looks around at me fuming while pacing around the dead crazy woman's body, Vex keeping a general watch out for trouble and Ocelot finishing off planting a knife one the civilian woman he shot.  It's at this point the town guard run up.  Draspher goes to meet them and explains how "he got roughed up by this crazy woman while we were chasing one of the escaped infected, don't know why she went for us with a knife but luckily Ocelot managed to shoot her".  As one everyone around the table goes silent and stairs at him, and then I start clapping.  That is the single first actually convincing bluff he has ever come up with.  It's so good the DM just gives it him without rolling for it.  The guards take pity on us and give potions of cure moderate wounds to the wounded.

Back at the temple, Sim decides to make chase.  She calls her new mount for their first ride.  Sure enough, we see a derpy looking bird carrying Sim and Yurion on his back, and a very disgruntled raccoon by its tail in his beak.

As we start to leave, draspher calls me over.  He explains about how he’s sorry about what happened, and that he won’t interfere with me in future fights unless I directly ask him to.  But now that that is past us, he feels we can both agree that mistakes were made on both sides, that we both have had moments of unreasonable actions but forgive and forget and let's move on, what do you say?

Jaune(me): ………. You glued a psychopath to my chest…………

The DM just breaks down at my complete deadpan tone, and despite some bickering (mostly on my part about how does he equate my knocking him out as equal to the constant getting us in trouble, which I'm usually the one trying to save him, and the fact he glued a psychopath to my chest as "we're even now")

We make our way to sayid library.  The DM has us roll initiative, and I finally get a high roll, typically not in a combat scenario.  I go over to the woman at the desk and ask where sayid is.  Apparently, he hasn’t made it back yet, so I ask where the smut section is while we wait.  Of course, this immediately razes alarm bells, we came to town with him and he went straight here, so somethings going on here.  OOC Vex expresses and interest in hitting on her.  Then immediately afterwards, Sim then come up and starts hitting on her, and she reciprocates (to vex's outrage and ire).  The librarian reciprocates the advances really, reciprocates, unusually quickly and sim was initially only bluffing, but now she's really getting into it. A quick spellcraft roll from draspher reveals she’s casting some kind of spell on her.  Ocelot waits by the door, Yurion starts reading books (fuming about her girlfriend hitting on a stranger) and vex goes, specifically to push sim out of the way so she can flirt, but something is really setting off her paladin senses, and eventually she gets the idea and a quick detect evil confirms it, she is evil as all heck. The librarian turns, recognising a holy servant she realises the jig is up, and screeches in an inhuman wail, her hair withering, and her skin and face turns corpse like

Part two, counter strategies

She immediately lunges towards Vex and Sim, claws out, but Vex wasn't completely taken by surprise while Sims armour saves her.  The two girls and myself are the ones closest to the counter, so we all take pot shots at her but the counter provides her cover that blocks us.  Yurion looks up from her book and using her vast knowledge skills, she recognises her as a greater ghoul, and as such is vulnerable to healing spells.  She immediately comes up with a plan to use the link spell to pass a healing charge through the gold bangle someone else is wearing to hit the ghoul.  Unfortunately, no-one is close enough to pull this off but the DM approves of her strategic thinking, so instead she moves in and decides to 'cook' a healing spell.  Not cast a healing spell when she attacks you understand, but cast one now and have to keep making concentration checks to hold onto it without losing the charge.  Ocelot immediately latches onto this idea, trying to take off his own bangle and use mage hand to levitate it over.  The DM immediately put a stop to that nonsense, so instead he just shoots and hits the counter.

On Drasphers turn summons a Compsognathus to pen her in while completely preventing Yurian from getting to her.  Seeing her exit blocked, the Ghoul drops further behind the counter top and casts glitterdust on her location.  This immediately blinds myself, vex and the dinosaur.  

I spend my next turn blind, helpless and yelling out like a three stooges sketch.  Vex spends hers kicking out to try and find anything (she only manages to find me for 7 points none-lethal damage) and sim tries to punch through the counter but has no luck.  I stumble back from the kick, now panicked about something trying to attack me.  Draspher asks the DM "Would a grease spell clear off the glitterdust" to the groups horror, and we as one shout out "NOOO".  

At this point three of us are surrounding the counter, I've stepped off in a blind stumble so I'm near some bookcases, Ocelot is still in the doorframe and Draspher has finally realised his mortality and is hiding far away between two bookshelves.  Unfortunately, an unseen force decides now is the time to act, and slams him into a bookshelf for nearly 20 damage (most of his health).  Realising something invisible is attacking him, he immediately casts glitterdust.  The question then comes up (to my horror), since he's casting it between two narrow bookcases, does that mean that Jaune (myself) is in the range of it?  Luckily for me (and drashers freshly fixed face) the DM decides that it doesn't and the form of a large air elemental becomes clear. Not that any of us go to help him.

Ocelot decides that guns aren't any good at all, so he decides to holster the gun, yell out a warning to Sim to duck, and proceeds to use his boots of springing and jump of Sims sholders to tackle the ghoul to the ground. He succeeds but has a very nasty surprise.  Previously he mentioned to sim that she wants to be careful about touching the undead when she's casting a healing spell on it.  The ghoul reaches us and with one touch paralyses Ocelot, before pushing him off and getting up.

Yurian takes this opportunity to push the blind and useless dinosaur aside to smash a healing spell in the ghoul's face (to the theme of shining finger from G gundam, curtesy of myself on the ipad).  Enraged by this, she calls out for her allies, and the door next to Yurion opens up to reveal three more zombies coming through.  Yurian manages to get a second healing spell off, reducing the ghoul to dust but not before she gets one last touch attack on her in retaliation, dropping her next to Ocelot while the zombies shamble towards them.

Luckily for Yurian her girlfriend Sim was there to save the day.  With a single flame pillar spell, she reduces all three zombies to ash.  She also sets the back of the BOOK SHOP on fire.  Draspher, upon seeing this immediately despairs.  He's so worried about burring the books he cares nothing for the giant air elemental that slammed him for almost all of his health. He immediately comes out with "I use burning hands to put out the flames".

After clarifying that burning hands only extinguishes the flames IT CREATES he instead summons three water elementals to put out the fire.  With that out of the way the party finally decides to deal with the air elemental.  As I go in to flank the DM has to assure me that this thing is part of the adventure module, he didn't design this to counter me but it's immune to flanking, sneak attacks and critical hits

Ocelot: .......DM

DM: Yes?

Ocelot: ......we've been rolling for Vex's criticals against that thing

DM: [head hits the table]

We quickly kill the thing.  Afterwards, Yurian and Draspher go to check the bookshelves for anything to do with the scarab king, Ocelot and Sim check the backrooms to the left and to the DM's surprising panic, vex and I go to check the back room on the right

Part three, only himself to blame

inside there are two gigantic figures.  The DM tells us they look like demonic bears (half the party insists on calling them bears after this) and they just happened to be in the middle of killing two of drasphers water elementals.  I fight my natural instincts (the paladin's aura of bravery helped) and we position ourselves at the door hoping to make a chokepoint.  Hearing our screams, the others race in, and Yurion rolls a 20 on the identify roll.  The DM describes the massive amount of resistances and damage reduction the two demons have, although in character she only has enough time to shout out "demons" and that’s enough for me.  I stand up, I face those demons, and I said "NOPE! NOPE, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE" and I make for the door, attempting to drag the paladin with me.  IRL I even enact this scene, leaving the room, then re-entering to quickly "NINJA VANISH" before leaving again. Unfortunately, said paladin is now fully stoked to go slaughter some demons, and charges towards the first demon.

During this the DM is shaking his head, these things are way too strong for the party, he was expecting us to heal after the last fight or just run.  Not only have we as a group gone after them, we bunched up.  He's expecting a total party wipe at this point.  While he was panicking I remembered something, and after checking vex's sheet I point out one of her class features she hadn't used yet.  As his head lies in his hands, Vex charges up takes out half the first demons health in a single swing. For all their resistances, their DR is beaten by good aligned weapons, and I remembered that she had two smite evil's left today, as well as the divine bond weapon with just enough enchantment to give it holy.  It sliced through it like butter.

Sim follows this initial shot with a volcanic storm, just managing to hit both of them without hitting vex, and rolls a perfect 18 on the bludgeoning damage (6, 6, 6 against demons) and even gets 11 on the 2d6 fire damage (just gets over their resistance for 1 extra damage).  As I'm running out of the door I pass Yurion and Ocelot coming the other way.  It's around this point that it comes out that both of them are suicidal.  Both of them are tired of their characters (ocelot didn't use his skills or equipment properly so he kept using the revolver for around 4 damage a shot instead of his dragon pistol or his feats, Yurion was built for Knowledge skills but we had gotten fairly battle heavy and she felt left out) and want to re-roll, and they both came to the conclusion the best way of doing this is to throw themselves in front of danger until they die.  This means they are the only one's happy about this situation.

In the next round vex slays the first beast, and draspher has been spamming summoning spells to the point there are around 7 giant spiders in the room.  Every round he has them fire webs at this demon, never seeming to get the idea that they won't work at all, just like the tanglefoot bags.  (Every round looks like something out of one of his hentai's, a massive demon covered in sticky white fluid).  The second demons finally gets his go, and he makes it a nasty one.  He releases his breath weapon, which hits everyone (aside from me, I was one square out) for 6D6 damage.  The DM rolls surprisingly low, a few 1 and 2's in there, but it's enough to drop draspher into negatives and give everyone a chunk of damage. (funnily enough, most of drasphers spiders survived when he didn't)

Vex heals herself and charges in while Yurion heals Draspher back to full.  The demon responds with a great cleave with his 10' reach claws and almost the entire party within range.  He slices through two spiders and vex, but flubs it when he tries to hit Ocelot, who was disappointed in failing to achieve his own death again. While this was going on, I had run out of the door, noted some sparkly stuff in the ghoul ash, summersaulted over the counter and went out to the street.  My flight was not solely based on saving my own skin, I was looking for re-enforcements.  Unfortunately, a curfew did not mean the city was being regularly patrolled, so I had to keep running looking for help.  I eventually meet the captain and a few officers at the camp we had been at before, and I quickly get there help.

Just as we were setting off back to the store, vex had started slicing into the demon. He evidently decides a re-position was in order and uses dimensional door to jump to the other side of the room.  Ocelot then comes up with an idea.  Pulling out his spare powder horn and the laser gun (The DM describes it as a wand of scorching ray that also happens to be a gun, but we all know what it is) and tosses the powder horn under the demon's feet.  As he goes to look down at what that is, Ocelot shoots it and the explosion opens a hole in his stomach his organs fall out of.  You do have to remember though he has to spend a few minutes working out the flaws with his other plans with the DM so it wasn't quite the flash of brilliance.  His other plans failed because:  

a. you don't have a fuse on you to light it, b. you don't have anything to light a fuse c. lighting a powder horn with a dragon pistol will leave you with one hand d. you can't shoot gunpowder to explode with a regular bullet

The DM is simply gobsmacked about how easily Vex has torn through those guys, and I point out "remember, you made her sheet, I warned you giving her a +1 Keen Katana was too much to just start off with, you only have yourself to blame"

Part four, cleanup

Once the demon's dead, the others all start looting the place in the age-old adventurer tradition.  Yurion and draspher both get to looking through the books, Sim and Ocelot check the back rooms we didn't go into and find a trap door underneath a water barrel and Vex finds some masterwork artisans tools for the printing press she decides to pick up as a gift for draspher.  They find some notes about research regarding the plague, in particular questioning whether or not it could be the feast of dust, but disregarding it as the "sword" is still in place.

At this point OOC I realise something.  The demons were summons and there remains are going back to their own realm, the air elemental has no remains, the three zombies got burned up by fire and lightning and the ghoul is a pile of ash.  There is no evidence about any of this and I am bringing the captain of the guard and two guards straight to them.  We end the session as I am walking into the door.

Later on, the DM let me know that the demons pretty much failed there initiative rolls and missed a turn.  Had they rolled better, Vex's charge would have been met with two attacks of opportunities, they would both have used greater cleave/breath weapons to smack the entire party as we had bunched up and could dimension door to cut off our retreat/pin us in. It's only sheer luck that vex got in and killed one before it could do anything which left the other wide open.  I can think of so many scenarios that that encounter could have gone differently that would have killed all of us.  Also, fun fact elementals can't be flanked or critted, and both the ghoul and the demons could see invisibility, it's like this adventure path hates me.

Days in city – 1

Lives saved – 2.5, the Girl being mauled by his commander, the crazy homeless person that almost burnt and the nun we healed (.5)

Lives killed – 3.5, the one guy we pulled up to stab, the civilian that got shot (she went at him with a knife), the broken armed escapee that got shot and the libarian, who was a ghoul but I'm not sure how the city guard will take it

Vex’s Harem – 2.25, the Girl being mauled by her commander, the nun and a librarian who was really a ghoul

Times Drilled over by Draspher – 2, he convinced me there was a dragon in the desert and got me glued to the ground with a crazy infected woman ready to beat me to death

Times Drapher got drilled over (both his own and others fault) - 20, his adhesive spittle keep breaking (2), I knocked him out (his own fault), he got assaulted by an air elemental and no-one cared, nearly killed by demon breath, his spider webs did nothing (15)

Jaunes brave advances towards future victory - 3, when jess attacked in the night, the barn, the demons

[tigerkirby215]

5e Qiyana, Empress of the Elements build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Aley Ghallan. Made for Riot Games.)

So it turns out I was wrong about Evelynn: there is another champion who doesn’t have “the” in the title! Leave it to Qiyana to be special. Anyways: after making this post my brain decided to hype fixate on a potential Qiyana build and then... oops. It suddenly got made. Truth be told I still haven’t got a goddamn clue how Qiyana works in-game.

GOALS

Not my fault; they should have bowed - Qiyana’s an assassin which of course means we need assassin damage.

Let us throw rocks at them and laugh - The Empress of the Elements needs elements to control! Earth, Wind, Fire, and Air!

Why are you in my space? - Riot sort of just... decided Qiyana should have two dashes in her kit? I guess?

RACE

Qiyana is clearly human but the Ixtali have some innate magic to them, so for control over the primal magic of (area with trees) go for a Half-Elf for Fey Ancestry to resist charms and sleeping.

But we won’t just be going for any Half-Elf. You know me I use Dragonmarks way too much, but it works since the Dragonmarked houses are above the rest. We’ll be going for a Mark of Storm to control both the oceans and the river! As a Mark of Storm Half-Elf your Charisma increases by 2 (as per usual) and your Dexterity increases by 1. You have Windwright’s Intuition to add a d4 to any Acrobatics checks you may make (as well as Navigator’s Tools which is slightly less important), and the Storm’s Boon to resist Lightning damage. "I see you have mastered the element of wind."

Of course what we’re mainly here for is Headwinds for a bit of elemental manipulation! You can cast Gust at will, and at third level you can cast Gust of Wind once per Long Rest as a very shitty version of your ultimate! You can also learn a language of your choice and Primordial would let you speak to the earth; it’s up to you to make sure it listens!

IF DRAGONMARKS AREN’T AN OPTION: Both Drow Half-Elf and Wood Half-Elf work very well for Qiyana. Drow gives you more spells while Wood makes it easier for you to hide. You’d also get more ASIs by going for a regular Half Elf (as opposed to a Dragonmarked race) so put the +1 you’d get into Strength.

ABILITY SCORES

15; DEXTERITY - Qiyana is a master of acrobatics, doing flips and kicks as she so desires.

14; CHARISMA - A ruler is meant to be attractive... and imposing.

13; STRENGTH - That ring you carry is heavy. Also it’s a multiclassing requirement.

12; CONSTITUTION - Qiyana is squishy in League but that doesn’t mean she has to be squishy for this build.

10; INTELLIGENCE - You must know your legacy in order to rule, and while your magic is a natural gift it’s good to know your way around Arcana.

8; WISDOM - So what if you have a hot head? You can shape the river to cool yourself off!

BACKGROUND

And here you were thinking I’d use Noble... Not many know of the Ixtali people, so you’re more of a Far Traveler than anything else. You get proficiency with skills but they don’t really fit you to be honest, so take Arcana and Nature proficiency to know your natural magic. You also gain proficiency with a musical instrument or gaming set of your choice (pick your fancy) and a language of your choice (also pick your fancy!)

But most importantly you know that you have All Eyes on You. Everyone knows you’re from the great land of Ixtal, and some will offer you service to know of the history of your great land. Won’t they be excited to know they’ll be joining your kingdom too?

(Artwork by Jennifer Wuestling. Made for Riot Games.)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - ROGUE 1

You are an assassin, and an empress needs as many skills as she can get. Take proficiency in Acrobatics (obviously) and the three big Charisma skills: Deception, Persuasion, and Intimidation. You could get Performance instead for some TRUE DAMAGE, but trust me when I say Performance barely ever comes up in standard D&D. You also get Expertise in two skills: Nature and Arcana are kinda your thing, so...

As an empress you know just the right way to word your phrases to sound like Thieves’ Cant, and can understand any roguish discussion of those trying to overtake your throne. But of course as an assassin you’re expected to build lethality and Sneak Attack, doing an extra d6 to any enemy who mispositioned. 

LEVEL 2 - ROGUE 2

Second level Rogues get their Cunning Action, allowing you to have the Audacity to Dash, Disengage, or Hide as a Bonus Action. It’s really nice when I can recreate League of Legends dashes as just... the Dash action.

LEVEL 3 - ROGUE 3

Third level Rogues get to choose their Roguish Archetype and Swashbucklers can move from enemy to enemy with ease and taunt them all the while. As a Swashbuckler you get two features but it’s more like three features: Fancy Footwork lets you dash away from a foe you’ve just hit without taking opportunity attacks.

Rakish Audacity meanwhile lets you Sneak Attack anyone who doesn’t have bodyguards, and has the added benefit of letting you add your Charisma to initiative rolls! "Some wait their turn, and some take what they deserve." Speaking of Sneak Attack: your Sneak Attack also increases to 2d6, and you also get Gust of Wind from your race now!

LEVEL 4 - ROGUE 4

4th level Rogues get an Ability Score Improvement: Dexterity kind of controls... everything that you do at the moment? So a +2 increase to DEX will go a long way.

(Artwork by eollynart on DeviantArt.)

LEVEL 5 - PALADIN 1

Did you swear an oath to Ixtal? Well it doesn’t matter. As a Paladin you have a Divine Sense to know the lay of the land: if there are any Celestials, Fiends, Fey, or Undead walking through your river or if the land is Consecrated or Desecrated. The ability does have a limited number of uses and a limited range however, so be mindful.

You can also heal yourself (or others, I guess) with a Corrupting Potion thanks to Lay on Hands. You can even cure Poisons or Diseases with 5 health points, because no one is assassinating this empress!

LEVEL 6 - PALADIN 2

Second level Paladins get to choose their Fighting Style: while it may not be the most effective you need to control the elements, and Blessed Warrior will give you some more minor control over the world around you. Thaumaturgy is the main one we’re here for because we can’t get Prestidigitation, and while it’s perhaps not the most in-character Guidance is still always useful to have, if only to use it on yourself.

Now would also be a good chance to talk about your Ring Blade ohmlatl: I actually think opting for Two Weapon Fighting with Qiyana works quite well to recreate her weapon! I’d opt for two Scimitars but Shortswords obviously work well too. Alternatively a Rapier and Shield would still let you Sneak Attack while also letting you block attacks.

Of course you don’t just get cantrips: you get actual Spellcasting! You can prepare a number of spells equal to your Charisma modifier plus half your Paladin level (rounded down.) Divine Favor will let you use your passive to get more damage and Thunderous Smite will let you knock a foe down as if stunning them with an icy blade.

Other than that? Command suits you well but there are few other spells we really need. I’d recommend you ignore all of that and concentrate on Divine Smite, turning magic into raw damage with your blade! "I command you to die!"

LEVEL 7 - PALADIN 3

The magic of Ixtal is ancient and to bend it to your will look no further than the Oath of the Ancients. You learn both Ensnaring Strike and Speak with Animals as Oath Spells (one of which is far more in-character than the other, but hey the birds can bow to you too), and you get two Channel Divinity options:

Nature’s Wrath will let you ensnare a creature within 10 feet of you. (It’s supposed to be flavored as vines but I’d reflavor it as ice from the river.) They can make a Strength or Dexterity saving throw or get free, but if they fail they will be restrained until they break out. Yeah there’s no max duration on this! Yes they can repeat the save each turn but the point still stands!

Turn the Faithless meanwhile is your standard turning effect, only this affects Feys and Fiends. The jungle natives know to bow to you, and usurpers shall be made to bow!

LEVEL 8 - PALADIN 4

4th level means another Ability Score Improvement but I don’t think we’ve hidden in the grass enough. The Shadow Touched feat will let you increase your Charisma by 1 and will also give you the Invisibility spell for when you need it. You can also learn a first level Illusion or Necromancy spell like Disguise Self to change up your wardrobe as necessary. You can cast both these spells once per Long Rest without using a spell slot, but can then use your spell slots to cast them some more.

Speaking of spells you can prepare more of them. But again: not much I really want. I’d recommend waiting for...

LEVEL 9 - PALADIN 5

5th level Paladins get an Extra Attack, allowing you to attack twice in one turn for more chances to Sneak Attack, Smite, or both!

Additionally you get a lot of good stuff at this level! You can learn Misty Step and Moonbeam as Oath Spells to recreate Flash and what we’ll call your ultimate for the sake of this build. You can also prepare Branding Smite for more Elemental Wrath and uhhhh... oops that’s kinda all I want. I mean Lesser Restoration is nice in a pinch. Truthfully it’s 3rd level where the true Qiyana spells come in.

(Artist unknown. Artwork made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 10 - PALADIN 6

6th level Paladins can evade any danger with their natural beauty. Aura of Protection grants a saving throw boost equal to your Charisma modifier to yourself and anyone within 10 feet of you, so their empress can lead and put those who oppose her in the dirt.

LEVEL 11 - PALADIN 7

Oh did you think a bonus to saving throws wasn’t enough? Well as an Ancients Paladin you get Aura of Warding as well, giving yourself (and your allies) resistance to magic! This means that if you succeed on a saving throw against a spell you’ll take a quarter damage total (half of a half), and even if you (somehow) fail you’ll still only take half damage! "You are right to fear my greatness."

LEVEL 12 - PALADIN 8

8th level means another Ability Score Improvement: cap off that uneven Charisma score as well as your uneven Strength, because a +2 modifier is nice even if you aren’t really using it.

LEVEL 13 - PALADIN 9

9th level Paladins can cast third level spells which means oh boy: I get to tell you all the spells you should prepare to be in-character for Qiyana that you’re never going to be able to cast with your limited spell slots! Regardless Ancients Paladins get Plant Growth and Protection from Energy added to their spell list, to manipulate the elements to their liking. But with four other spells to prepare what should we take?

Elemental Weapon is the “yeah duh” spell, letting you invoke Elemental Wrath and really get value out of your passive. (It also makes your weapon a +1 which is helpful.)

Spirit Shroud is like Elemental Weapon but objectively better except for the fact that it doesn’t deal elemental damage. (Well it can deal Cold damage.) But instead of a d4 extra damage you’ll do a d8, and you can also slow those near you!

And again: I don’t really want any other spells. Almost like Qiyana is an AD champ masquerading as a spellcaster. You are allowed to take Cure Wounds you know? Just saying.

(Artwork by Mavoly on DeviantArt.)

LEVEL 14 - ROGUE 5

Hey aren’t you an assassin? Shouldn’t we be concentrating on like, assassin stuff? 5th level Rogues get Uncanny Dodge, letting you spend your reaction to halve the damage of an attack against you. This would affect attack rolls from spells like Shocking Grasp, meaning it would stack with Aura of Warding, but you can’t Uncanny Dodge a spell to only take an eighth of the damage.

Oh and your Sneak Attack (finally!) increases to 3d6.

LEVEL 15 - ROGUE 6

6th level Rogues get Expertise in two more skills. By this point you should probably be at peak performance with Acrobatics. After that pick your poison for one of your Charisma skills if you want to deal in public relations, subterfuge, or pop music.

LEVEL 16 - ROGUE 7

Are saving throws still (somehow) getting you down? Well Evasion just makes it so you take 0 damage if you succeed on a Dexterity saving throw, and only half damage on a failure! It’s probably worth mentioning that you currently have a +13 DEX save. To put this into perspective Tiamat’s breath weapon is a DC 27 DEX save; meaning that you have a 30% chance to take zero damage from an attack from Tiamat.

Oh and your Sneak Attack increases to 4d6, so you can then destroy Tiamat with a Supreme Display of Talent.

LEVEL 17 - ROGUE 8

8th level Rogues get another Ability Score Improvement: Dexterity still controls our AC and attack rolls (along with many other things) and it still isn’t maxed, so capping it off at 20 would be a good idea. "Jaw-dropping, I know."

(Artwork by LittleKumaArt on DeviantArt.)

LEVEL 18 - PALADIN 10

Rounding this build off with a final few levels in Paladin: level 10 Paladins get Aura of Courage, because if you’ve lasted long enough to hit level 18 why would you be afraid of anything? "So basic."

LEVEL 19 - PALADIN 11

11th level Paladins get Improved Divine Smite, letting them add a d8 Radiant damage to any hit with your weapon (not just hits with Divine Smite, despite the name.)

But I’m going to be honest: what I really wanted was the extra third level spell slot. Not that an extra d8 every attack isn’t good though! Show off that Royal Privilege!

LEVEL 20 - PALADIN 12

12th level Paladins get our final Ability Score Improvement: cap off your Charisma for a +5 Aura of Protection, and also more spells to prepare. "If talent were an element, perhaps I could throw some at them."

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Smash these idiots, won't you? - It may be a surprise to you but Rogues and Paladins are both very good at doing damage. 4d6 of Sneak Attack damage is never a bad thing, and that d8 from Improved Divine Smite helps too. And if they’re still standing then a regular Divine Smite will quickly force them to bow. What’s really nice is that unlike other Rogues you are practically guaranteed the Royal Privilege of Sneak Attacking your foes!

I would say “watch and learn,” but unfortunately you cannot learn this - Having a few spells in your back pocket never hurt anyone, and even your weakest spells pack quite a punch. Divine Favor stacks up over a long combat, and Ensnaring Strike can set an enemy up for failure.

Some people are just born better - I swear this happens whenever I make either a Rogue or a Paladin but it turns out that Rogue and Paladin are both extremely good at resisting damage. Evasion combined with Aura of Protection is huge but the biggest factor that makes this build so crazy is Aura of Warding. Ancients Paladin is one of the best Paladins in the game specifically because you take half damage from magic. Add this all onto a Rogue who can dash as a Bonus Action every turn, essentially got the Mobile feat for free, and has 135 health? You can be everywhere at once and you foes can’t do anything about it.

CONS

It is exhausting to crush you so much - While all your spells are amazing they’re also very limited. 3 spell slots for your best tricks means that you won’t pull them off too often. It also means that your Smiting abilities are a little limited overall.

That was no crushing; that was merely a squeeze - Multiclassing does give you a taste of everything but it also means that you miss out on the best of both worlds. Your sneak attack could be higher, and you didn’t get any of the particularly powerful Paladin features. 

I'm extremely good... at everything - Well except for one thing: Wisdom. While Aura of Protection helps you somewhat with Wisdom saves +4 means nothing against higher tier spells. And of course a -1 to Perception and Insight never helped anyone.

But your greatness far overshadows your flaws. Show them that greatness and let the nature around you help magnify your magnificence. It is your right to conquer above all, and subject those beneath you for the glory of Ixaocan. Don’t let silly things like “sisters” or “birthright” or “hard CC” stop you. Go fight that 1v5 and prove how great you are!

(Artwork by Jessica “OwleyCat” Oyhenart. Made for Riot Games.)