#the ones where he's a dork do
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yes, jeff, we do love you in every possible angle. and, actually, the pictures where you're being a dork are my favourite ones.
#they make him look human! and adorable#and the official shoot photos make my lose my mind but#they're artificial and at some point you kind of get used to them?#i still lose my mind every time but they're not the ones that live in my mind rent free#the ones where he's a dork do#(however the videos like the one of him panting in the live on saturn bkk concert are a whole other topic and we're not talking about them)#jeff satur#tea's ramblings#talking to myself while finally watching the woody interview <3
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' i think starscream was being unnecessarily rude and mean to bee ( omg starscrean being unnecessarily rude and mean, shock of the fucking century . ) if i had bee as my lil ghost buddy, we'd be best friends bcs hes so nice!!'
having bee haunt you is like being stuck on an eternal road trip with your backseat driver passenger mother who thinks 10 mph is a death sentence and violently grabs that little car grab handle by the window when you take a turn without fully stopping 500 separate times & oh boy if you don't brake at LEAST 10000million miles before that stop sign then say hello to decapitation! guess you wanna kill everyone !
https://x.com/blitzinthru
Starbeebles... moot me on Twitter... im tired of posting to the void in hope of finding friends ..
#u think bee is lecturing starscream on something actually important but no bumblebee had an argument with starscream#during one of his nightly reenactment hallucinations where everyone is supposed to love him while he shoots them#point blank with a bazooka#and starscream called him a dork so now bumblebee has to wake starscream up and let him know his feelings are hurt#obliviously this is some sort of very important very objective very necessary lesson on words mattering#totally#anyways apologize ?#apologize? apologize now ? now ? hello ? apolo-#' i hate when bee can talk. hes so fucking annoying'GOOD.#i hope he gets MORE AND MORE GRATING EVERY DAY#SINCERELY#bee is the kind of guy who coughs loudly the minute he walks into a room with someone smoking#& then he makes a post on his instagram that says 'just did an act of kindness <] '#his intentions mean well until they dont OR they DONT mean well until he twists them into seeming like they do#starbee#bumblebee#starscream#transformers idw#tf idw#maccadam
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//ooc posting: I NEED to find more fun/silly things to do with my two they are Not meant to be all agony all the time I swear- I just have a penchant for the dramatic and they're a little in the torment nexus o(-< but on god they will Have Fun too
#//ooc#even in the torment nexus there's spots of brightness!! I need to start playing with them too I'm not a grimdark writer I swear!!#I have ideas for softer bits and pieces. sibling stuff. cute things. I will get to it somehow hell or high water o7#T-E purrs!! they can do that!! it's part of their genetic alterations and I want to play with that too as well as the horrors!!#now don't get me wrong either The Horrors are one of my fav things to write but it's chiaroscuro y'know you need the contrast#it can't be a fight for personal autonomy all the time sometimes it needs to be T-E's huge kitty eyes or Helios being a dork#all this might be unnecessary I just get a little self conscious sometimes about how full-grit my writing can be wehh#holding my creatures in my hands. they are capable of such a beautiful joy. it's actually vital that they are#since I'm rambling anyways: huge part of what I want to do with T-E's pre campaign rp is start pulling them out of their shell#they start the planned game still stuck on their rules but it's talking to people that's gonna put them in a place where like#they know there's something else out there. they want it. they feel so much guilt for wanting it but it's the WANTING that's important!!#helios can't do that on his own because he doesn't know either. neither of them know jack about what exists beyond their narrow purview#making a HA clone to me is in part an examination of how miitary as industry will always result in steadily increasing dehumanisation#it's the commodification of a human body to ever increasing heights. soldiers to products to nothing but parts to be scrapped#military as an endless churn less for the sake of any kind of protection and more for the sake of resources. capital. money#it's part of what makes HA so fascinating to me y'know? the way it takes that concept to a far flung conclusion. how bad can it get#the other part is playing someone realising for the first time it's possible to break from what's expected of them#the wonder. the guilt. the disbelief. all of it carefully hidden. it's a huge part of what's so compelling about writing them to me#three huge cornerstones of T-E are: masking - military - the horror of having to exist in a body.#that last one is my taking the weird sensory relationship I have to Flesh/mind and doing horror with it dw too much about that njbkhjv#okay okay I think I'm done this got a little out of hand I'm just like#there's so MUCH about thirteen/T-E that makes me insane. alas I'm tired and it takes me like 4 hours to write a simple post sobs#anywaysss that's my ramble. I like them#helios too I like him. guy absolutely dead set on finding reasons to smile amidst the Horror
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re: tcw anakin one of the most unpopular star wars hills I will die on is that his characterization in tcw is actually not that egregious considering that in the movies we're seeing his emotions at a 10 at all times, whereas he gets to relax a bit more and just exist in tcw
#no I don't think it's perfect and I've conceded that the traditional masculization of his design is dumb#but I don't think his tcw characterization is irredeemable#however the one thing I do adamantly disagree with is that bit where he orders padme around during the clovis s7 episodes. lmao. as if.#I'm not here to argue their relationship wasn't toxic but to me I feel it works best if his first time being outright abusive#is during rots. that's how it gets through to padme that he's far-gone#star dorks#hayden's playing him well in the movies btw he does anakin's emotions at a 10 extremely well
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sometimes being obsessed with a character that gets mistreated by canon means sobbing about them as if their pain is you own.
#saw a cute panel of tim and bruce from newer stuff#immediately started tearing up and crying bc#why does jason not get that why don't we get nice jason flashbacks why can't he be happy#why does he get beat and mindfucked and throw into arkham and kicked out of gotham#why is he batman's greatest failure and not just his son#when does he get to be truly happy#when do we get to see flashbacks of the boy who said being robin gives me magic#where is the good energy for my boy#i love tim and dick so much you would not believe but please#can't jason have ONE good fucking moment#can't we see ONE positive fucking flashback for him or a series abt his time as robin#tim gets so much attention and i adore him i do but please#give jason some attention too#why isnt he allowed to have panels where he's getting a hug from his dad in canon#why do we only focus on his death and resurrection??#that's not all there is to jason todd#he's so much more and he deserves to be treated as such#he was robin too!#he was happy too!#LITERALLY AT EVERH TURN DC IS GIVING HIMNSHIT AND WONT LET HIM HAVE GOOD RELATIONSHIPS#I DONT WANNA SEE HIM FUCK I WANNA SEE HIM BE LOVED#I WANT HIM TO KNOW HES LOVED#I WANNA SEE HIM DURING HIS TIMW AS ROBIN BEING A LITTLE DORK W BRUCE#I WANT TO SEE HIM BEING TRAINED#I WANT TO SEE ALL OF IT#WHY DO WE GET TO SEE SO MUCH OF TIM AND DICK AND NOTHING OF JASON#WHERE IS MY JASON TODD ROBIN SERIES#I AM STKLL CRYING
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need to fuck the shit out of that twink
#⚠️#men will be real nerdy a massive dork and kinda silly and have me fully wrapped around their leg saying PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE P#LET ME FUCK YOU PLEASE OH PLEASE#dude spencer any season up till 10 cause ive only gotten that far i will top him#especially the early seasons#although the season where he had that really shitty short haircut and the one eith the butch haircut are on thin ice#also season 1 im doing insane shit to his pussy its gonna get spooky
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Xenoblade 1 is the best game like ever fucking made and it has two of the most dogshit sequels ever fucking made
#meows#remembering just how insulted I felt in 2017 when I preordered the sequel and really really tried to like it#I hadn’t experienced Game I Don’t Like before 2 and it took me like 40 hours to realize I hated it#and that shit at the end is such an INSULT. such an insult#you’re telling me that [redacted] was actually only half of himself the whole time and that 1 and 2 are taking place at the same time???#and that oh actually [expunged] is one of three computers when the first game made no mention of any of that#y’all really went back to say your complete first game actually is only HaLf of the story? that someone like [expunged] is only a third of#the force that ended our planet#y’all went back and hollowed out your existing characters to make room for worse versions of the same characters#AND you play as a dork nerd child who ends the game with three gfs bc this is story#and the gfs do nothing but sacrifice themselves for you like three times and look pretty#but they don’t look pretty to like. normal well adjusted people#they look pretty to the I like questionable art of 17 year olds crowd#and the GALL. the GALL. of changing [expunged]s design in the switch port to try to stitch his afterthought purpose into the old game#while also making him just whiter and whiter until by 3 he’s like fucking light grey#and having him have a canon genderbend that’s just anime waif#who is also fucking white#and giving Klaus’ counterpart a name that has nothing to do with Gnosticism#even though so much other stuff in the first game comes from Gnosticism.#who the FUCK is Galea!!!! her name is fucking Sophia#killing biting maiming#and the gacha system? with bad odds for no reason in a game you’ve already paid for#it’s so fucking messy#it lacks a unified art direction#it’s soulless and even a game like 3 where only HALF of it is 2 flavored can’t beat the original because of the portion of 2 in it#and like what. is it like the two universes reunited after [redacted] died🙃#why did any of this need to exist! why did any of this have to be retconned#x is fine I don’t hate x and I don’t count it as a sequel to Xenoblade 1 bc there’s no#half assed tie back to 1 in x#2 and 3 would have been better as like. tales of games
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my prettiest specialest boy!!!! 💖💖💖
i did a little doodle of him that spiraled out of control (the two little ones at the bottom) and then realized they were wayyy too small to post anywhere :/ so i redrew it bigger lol! i have some mixed feelings about the final result, but i still really like it! i think my big issue is that i need to figure out how to render hair lol
anyway, the differences between the first three pics are just the hair color. it’s pretty subtle, but the first one is more white, the second is more blond, and the third has a rainbow-ish filter thing on it (i wanted to make his hair kinda iridescent or something? def something i’m gonna play around with more in the future!)
there’s also a lil close up of the face in the bottom row bc i really like how i did the sparkly freckles 💖
#my art#original character#my oc#procreate#oc: juyun#i think i might start tagging my ocs like that?#idk#i see other people doing it and so i feel like i should too lol#anyway he’s the god of beauty (at least in his original iteration)#so i feel like i gotta get better at making him pretty#he must be PRETTIER#he’s also kinda pathetic 💖#like he tries to come off as beautiful and mysterious#then maybe he’ll go for flirty and seductive#then beneath that he’s just a silly lil dork and a sweetheart#and below THAT is a v sad and insecure lil guy ;;#he’s kind of one of my fave ocs if you couldn’t tell…#hes the type of guy where someone compliments him one (1) time#and he’s like ready to propose#also hes very queer#if you can’t tell lol#hes pan and genderfluid (he can like shapeshift. of course he’s genderfluid i mean come ON)#still debating if hes transmasc tho…#idk i feel like it kinda fits his backstory#but i also worry that bc hes so feminine that it’ll come across as me being ignorant or mean#but like. you can be transmasc and still like being feminine yknow#then again hes not the only transmasc/trans man characters i have#and they aren’t all feminine so idk#im probably overthinking this lol
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guys im heaving with sobs omg
#'do you remember the winter dance. not the slow dance but that one song where we jumped around like idiots and looked like fools.#like absolute dorks'#'yeah (laugh through tears). why?'#'no reason. i just wanted you to think of that right now.'#im gonna throw my phone fr#because wtf#clay is afraid of forgetting hannah and hes scared of never being able to let her go and her memory just sit on the bench with him and make#him laygh like shes still there
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OKAY the dnd session is finally over, im gonna play stardew valley by myself for 14 hours straight now. the session was fun btw lol, im glad i got to hang out w my bros nevertheless, i just wish theyd wanna play the games i like for a change. but yeah talking to people is objectively better than being alone so whatever ig at least im socializing with people and not just completely isolating myself
#still bummed nobody likes the games i do but oh well. i like playing video games by myself more anyways#hilarious how quickly my mood changes. the bpd moodswings are crazy#i still wish i had more irl friends :( especially afab irl friends#my male irl friends arent even irl anymore. we all moved so far away#two live in completely different cities than where we grew up#and one moved to a completely different state. hes in the motherland fr#i hope one day we can all live in a cul-de-sac in colorado and we can all sit on our porches and watch the snow and smoke weed#then we can go to each others houses and play video games together#and hopefully these dorks will finally get some girlfriends so i can befriend their girlfriends and have lady friends :(#i always scream at them that they need to start dating not so they can have fulfilling relationships but so i can have female friends lol#obviously so they can have fulfilling relationships too. BUT I WANT FRIENDS ahah
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What drew you to Menenius? Was there something about him that sparked his muse at first glance, or was it built up over time from lore? Do you have a favorite thing about your portrayal you wish you could do more with?
Mun:
So funny thing about me being drawn to Menenius, it's because of an NPC gathering with @angelic-din-mortem with their lyon that I felt left out of sorts and I decided that I wanted to pick someone. I literally said, 'Who is that elf that Lyon works for?' And sure enough, it was a slow process with picking him up since I barely knew his character at all, and I wasn't done with the storyline for the Bozja crew.
But to sum it up, me picking up Menenius almost maybe a year ago was a long slow process of building him up over time. Though I think what really pushed me to actually learn who Menenius was and all was because of @nossumusmanus and her Menenius that she had. Ironically, we both were hella afraid of stepping on each other's toes with our blogs (for me it was more like, 'Ah shit! She's hella quality and legit!') and then finally having vonny help me out more with my menenius.
Which in turn made me love Menenius more since despite everything, he's a dork and damn if he tries his hardest.
And ironically, this lead me to wanting to learn more about the IVth and how much of a dumpster fire they are to the fact that they were fighting so much a losing battle, but kept trying anyways. Then to actually having @angelic-din-mortem to make Sartauvoir, and Basch. And through the power of modding, we both have been able to do more with all of the 4th legion and beyond. And I have Menenius and recently Albeleo. Also getting Lyon and Menenius married while working with the canon AU of him surviving and how he's dealing with the aftermath from Diablo armament's laser blast.
But a favorite thing about my portrayal that I would absolutely love to do more of, see how much I can push Menenius' cruelty, machinations, intrigues and so much more.
What I regret now over the course of having Menenius..... is that I wish I had been more into Bozja when I first created him since I wasn't following the story well and all that fun stuff. And rushing through story with him, now I wanna somehow do gposing of how he actually would have handled the different situations and beyond. When I finally get Menenius out of Shadowbringers and into Endwalker to Garlemald, that's going to be major since dealing with the fact that he and Lyon are traitors, dealing with Quintus and his wrath and just now the outsiders perspective instead of being the one on the inside. He hadn't been home in years and with Basch's teachings and along with Lyon and crew, it definitely changed him a lot.
And with @nossumusmanus playing more of their Quintus with their Menenius muse sleeping, it felt like she was passing the torch to me and well I have been definitely keeping his muse alive through gposing and writing.
#Ah this got out of hand whoops XD#But really Menenius is one of those unexpected muses that just grabs you. It took a bit for that ball to roll but now it's in full swing#And he deserves SOOOOO much love since he worked his ass off and with his interactions with the rest of the legion#But he really was fighting a losing battle and my god did he do his damnest to keep the morale up#Even in Zadnor where he's one of the toughest fights next to Lyon's and Sartauvoir's#My dork Elezen and his love for his machines especially Saunion XD
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i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.
adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.
right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.
it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.
still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.
i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.
i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.
so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.
coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."
and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.
still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.
i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.
so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went
...oh.
and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.
so i did.
i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.
i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.
it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:
*ptooie.* "that all you got?"
i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!
but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.
my coach did not.
i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.
"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"
and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said
"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."
which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.
and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.
fine.
but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.
and then he left.
and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."
but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.
and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.
he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.
and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.
#whew boy this make me anxious just typing it#wrestling#middle school#the dread#i feel like i have to write some stories about my grandpa not being a dick#because he was actually an amazing grandpa#he just had a few goofs are very comedic moments#and you know if you're gonna have a goof making it comedic is a virtue in itself#he was there for me more than a lot of my classmates dads were#and i dont want that undervalued#yeah#babylon-lore
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i think one of my favourite parts of gravity falls is just. soos in general. a different show would probably have a character like that- y’know, a fat guy who’s in that early-20s age where nobody wants to acknowledge that nobody knows what they’re doing but they’re not a kid anymore so they’re no longer part of the “marketable demographic” for kids, i think a lot of other shows would make him the punching bag or the butt of jokes or portray him as weird or creepy or a failiure. but no, soos is genuinely a big part of the heart of the show. he’s allowed to be a bit of a dork, and have a non-standard path in life- it’s treated as part of the quirks that make him lovable! the twins think he’s super cool, he’s smart, funny, genuine, kind- and when he gets his own episode in soos and the real girl, his issues with talking to people are just treated as so much more HUMAN than i’m used to for characters in his demographic. it’s really sweet. and i’m glad they do that. i really like soos.
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I think it's time .
#//come and keep your comrade warm!#what more could a switch want than a dangerous russian spy whose entire disguise is being a cringefail dork. wdym I'm insane.#do you see my vision. i can scratch his lil ears and grab his horns and shove my tongue in his mouth til he forgets what he's even there for#and once he REMEMBERS he can lovingly condescend me in russian for being too trusting while shoving his knee between my legs#awkward cute goat dude who would feel irresistibly warm and soft if i stuck a hand up his shirt.#guy whose tail goes haywire the closer your hand gets to where he wants it. bf who lays down like a good boy so you can kiss him all over#I want to overstimulate him sooo bad he's white bread if it were a man but he's nice and well intentioned#and apparently that's enough to make me want to give you head nowadays. sad!#but also hello i do not know how to handle the russian spy thing. i have been so normal about it on main.#the three ppl that followed me here need to know how good of a job i've been doing of BEING NORMAL ABOUT NIKOLAI#LIKE HAHA. hahahaha. you are a national threat gone widely unnoticed and spend all of your time carefully crafting a good natured persona#and you were also given only one episode to be vaguely expanded on so my brain can go crazy with how you actually behave#like i don't think he's an evil mastermind. i don't think he's evil. he's the secret second thing that still makes murder ethical to you#and also makes you hotter sorry#i am a nightmare to the US instinctual red scare. if you put a communist in front of me I'm gonna wanna fuck him I'm sorry#especially when he's THAT cute how am i not supposed to want him to groan in my ear and show me that he's much more in charge than I think#beyond cooked. I'm charred. flambeéd.
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I’m not even gonna lie, a lot of my opinions about people are based on dreams I’ve had about them
#i know it’s wrong and that my dreams are nonsense#but like i’ve been lowkey convinced my stepdad is an imposter of some sort since i had a dream to that effect when i was 17#in the dream he hurt my mom and kidnapped me and his regional accent vanished and it was SUPER realistic. he was a spy#i know now he’s not faking that fucking accent and i think his personality does in fact boil down to foolish dork#but that’s just convinced me that he has to be an alien or something that’s using us to learn about human kind#i think he’s some sort of real life mr bean figure with more opinions and slightly less mishaps#i also… and this one is embarrassing. i can’t get into ch*rli xcx (censoring to not end up in tags) or tr*ye because i had a dream#where they were staying in my house and they were REALLY bitchy to me and talked badly about me to my flatmate#even though i was proofreading a book one of them wrote for free#i want to listen to their new music and i have heard some of it and it’s great but like#what about when they deliberately called me a bitch while i was still in earshot and took photos of me to laugh at#it WAS a dream but like. still#can you tell i’m fucking catatonically high rn#i found an edible in my fridge i forgot was there and i ate it and then my friend proceeded to come over here#and punch holes in my sanity by talking about court case shit#she doesn’t approve of my cannabis usage because she personally had a bad experience and thinks her experiences are universal#so i was trying really hard to seem sober which was EXHAUSTING#i do think i will do a tolerance break soon just because i really want to focus on my health and wellness and eat a better diet#also i come up with insane ideas like my stepdad is a fucking extraterrestrial#i mean he is but that’s not the point. did you know he’s never had a headache or a nosebleed? NOT NORMAL#and he never actually denies it#personal
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(ꗃ) dangling charms [nerd sunghoon] ! (mdni)
⋆ in which you test the limits of the cute quiet dork that sat nearby you and your friend during lunch. but what you didn't expect, was to see a whole new side of this quiet dork, in his bed.
⌗ warnings & content: college au! sunghoon and jay are such losers in this oh my god. but i love it. nerd!sunghoon x fem!reader, backshots hehehe, protected sex (cheering) bigdick!hoon, oral (m.rec), fingering, praise, dom!hoon, etc. a lot of kaomojis when reader texts hoon, deal with it lol. early 2010s kind of au as well.
(lee's note: on that nerd sunghoon agenda :p i skimmed through this, not throughly proofread so lmk if you see any errors :D hope u guys enjoy i'm nerv abt this one.) reqs r open don't be afraid !! just read my guidelines first :3
word count: 3.0k
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"i love you y/n, but i don't think it is genuinely possible to even get him within the same vicinity of you that is not on campus.." gaeul comments, taking a sip of her drink.
you sigh in response, not bothering to hide the fact that you're eyeing park sunghoon, the cute quiet nerd you sat a couple seats away in your econ class. also, a couple tables away where you and gaeul were sitting at in the campus' dining hall. "what if i just asked him to tutor me—? it would benefit me and get me close to him."
"do you realize how crazy you sound right now?!" gaeul chokes, voice a little too loud causing the surrounding tables by the two of you to give a look.
"then i'm insane because i'm gonna ask him to tutor me right now—!" you exclaim, grabbing a piece of gum from the pack that was on the table, unwrapping the foil and popping it into your mouth. gaeul hypes you up, giving you a small applause in which you both giggle.
approaching his table, you felt a nervous tinge in your chest, choosing to ignore that feeling, you strut with confidence, stopping until you're standing directly in front of sunghoon. he looks up with an eyebrow raised, shutting off his laptop that he was doing an assignment on. "can i help you—?" loud smacks of you chewing the gum obnoxiously filled the awkward silence between the two of you, but you smile at him. "park sunghoon right?"
he nods, face still filled with confusion as to why such a pretty girl is at the table he occupied by himself on most days. "you have the best marks in our econ class.. and i was wondering if you could help me revise this paper i failed in that class.." you sheepishly asked, hand scratching the side of your head as you await a response.
"sure i can." sunghoon's response is short and quick, tapping his ipod that was connected with his wired headphones on his lap, waiting for you to say something. "great—! you should write your contact information for me down!" you beam. pulling out of your arm bag a mini notepad and pen, handing it to sunghoon. he takes a quick look at the character charm that dangled on a beaded string on your pen, laughing to himself in his head at how cute and amusing you were. carefully examining what he wrote before handing it back to you, sunghoon gives a small smile in return as well.
you thank sunghoon and practically skip back to your table, gaeul looking in shock as you hold up the once empty page of your notepad, filled with his contact info.
sunghoon's enjoying a peaceful dinner with his roommate when he hears a ding! from his phone. "this is the first time i've ever heard your phone during dinner." jongseong comments, stuffing his mouth full of instant ramen. "it's probably a scam or—" sunghoon remembers you asking him to tutor you. he scrambles to grab his phone, flipping it open to read your message.
"surely a scammer alright." jongseong sarcastically retorts. "shut up jay!" sunghoon yells flustered, reading the strings of messages you left to him.
(xxx) (xxx) (xxxx):
heyyyy :p it's y/n :3
turned out the deadline professor jung gave me to revise this paper in a few days (¬_¬)
soooo i was wondering if we could meet up in a couple hours ^_^ or we could do tmr cuz it’s a weekend and ur probably free ♪( ´θ`)ノ
—
you weren't wrong.. but ouch that kinda gave sunghoon a realization that he really doesn't do anything besides studying 24/7 and being a dork with jongseong.
"no way.. you're texting a girl—!" jongseong gapes, peeking over sunghoon shoulder's to read his inbox.
"god we really are such womanless losers." sunghoon shakes his head, clicking his keyboard to respond to you.
—
(:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅) your pov ⋆ ࣪.
[hoonie ! ٩( ᐛ )و_^]
Hello Y/n
Yes. I could meet with you in a couple of hours
Your place or mine?
[you]
my roommates have company over (-.-;)y-~~~
is ur place okay ?? :D
[hoonie ! ٩( ᐛ )و_^]
Yeah, that's fine with me
My roommate is home too, but don't worry, Jongseong is very quiet
My address is: ________ 8:00 just to confirm with you.
[you]
yayyyyy ok (^。^) c u in a couple !
thx hoonie once again !! i rlly owe u 4 this (*´∀`*)
—
you're kicking your feet up and down after confirming your plans with sunghoon, flipping your phone shut. you call for gaeul outside of the hall to tell her the news and to help you pick a outfit.. hopefully not overdoing it.
touching up your lipgloss and twirling yourself in front of your mirror to finalize your look, you're more than ready.
"don't get him too flustered y/n.. he's probably never felt the touch of a woman." gaeul warns, handing you your keys. oh how gaeul was so wrong about sunghoon..
you knock on sunghoon's door, swinging open to meet eyes with his roommate, jongseong. he stares at you in disbelief not thinking that the plans in sunghoon's inbox would actually happen. "hi! i'm y/n, is sunghoon here—?"
"no fucking way." jongseong comments, completely ignoring your question. his eyes are opened wide like saucers and all you could do it at the door step is fiddle with the bottom hem of your short pink skirt and wait.
"is she already here jay— oh. hello y/n." sunghoon sees you up close, once again. he kind of already knew you were on the way when he heard the dangling charms on your arm bag down the hall as you took your steps closer to his front door. and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't attracted to you. "hi hoonie—!" you smile over at the door frame, looking over jongseong's shoulder. god that new nickname made him want to drop at his knees.
"s—sorry! i should've let you in since i've opened the door—!" jongseong stutters. you throw your manicured hand out, brushing it off. "oh it's okay jay. do you guys have any drinks—? not alcoholic or anything." you self invite yourself to open their fridge that was in the kitchen right by their entry. "um y/n." sunghoon mumbles, "hmm—?"
"please take off your shoes.." right. feeling slightly embarrassed, you say a quick apology and kick off your shoes, leaving them on the shoe mat. "don't worry about it." sunghoon reassured. walking back into the kitchen, you examine their fridge, wow. they really had a lot of choices, and a lot of food from packaged from the local convenience store. but enough of that, you settle with a strawberry milk cart and shut the fridge door.
"sooooo where are we gonna study—?" you turn to sunghoon, sipping your drink and awaiting a response. "in my room.. jay is playing a very important match of star craft in the the living room." sheepishly rubbing his head and gesturing to jay sitting on the couch, that had his eyes glued to the tv monitor as he started the game.
"okay-!" you say, following sunghoon into his room. you notice the lack of decorations, only a couple of figurines on his shelves, mainly filled with textbooks. "you sure do have a lot of dangling charms." sunghoon comments, scanning your arm bag and your phone charm.
"is it a problem—?" your eyebrows raises, eyes following sunghoon direction to your bag. "no no no! not at all, it was just an observation—!" quick to deny with no doubt.
you grin, only seeing how long it would until sunghoon gives in to your charm.
"so for this problem you can—" you interrupt sunghoon, "can we take a break?" he blinks in response, "sorry hoon i interrupted you—" "don't worry y/n. and yeah, we can take a break." your lips stretch into a little grin, getting up from where you and sunghoon were both sitting on the end of his bed, littered with papers and textbooks.
you go to his desk where you left your bag, bending over to grab a a container of green grapes. you purposely take a long time searching your bag and giving sunghoon the view of a lifetime; your mini skirt showing your little lace panties that hugged your chubby folds. sunghoon bits his lips to suppress a groan, feeling his erection growing.
sunghoon grabs a pillow to place over his lap, in hopes of his bulge would go down. you smirk to yourself, knowing that sunghoon has had more than enough time to see what was under your miniskirt. "want a grape hoonie—?" you offer, plopping yourself beside sunghoon on the end of his bed again. sunghoon nods his head.
holding out your container for him, sunghoon grabs a small handful of grapes, the both of you guys eating in silence. and you don't know what possessed you, but after the container was emptied, you lifted the pillow that was on his lap. and there behold; his boner.
he scrambles to grab the pillow again, but you grab at his wrist with your smaller hand. god did you just the veins and how thick his digits were. "y/n i'm sorry i—" sunghoon panics to find a choice of words, lucky for him, you interrupt. "you're rock hard hoonie.. because of me?"
"mmph. fuck. yeah." sunghoon groans, seeing you climb over his lap and straddle him. "let me take care of your little problem down there for you hoonie.." you offer.
"oh my god hoonie—! right there!" you moan, body perched against his bigger frame as he's stuffed two fingers deep in your sopping cunt, your panties being hooked to the side. "clenching around my fingers so tight, fuck. i knew this was planned from the start." he grunts in response, scissoring and twisting his digits.
it was so messy. you were a crying, sobbing, mess from the pleasure of sunghoon's digits hitting you so deep, reaching places you could never with your measly little hands. and never did you expect this from sunghoon..
you expected sunghoon to be a nervous, stuttering mess, but instead he was calm and collected, the one that was in control and power of letting you cum.
sunghoon's free hand was under your low-cut baby tee, grasping at your juicy tits that spilled out of your bra, taking his hand out from underneath your shirt and tugging it off and over your head, effortlessly unhooking your bra alongside it. fat tears rolling down your cheeks, smudging your eye makeup as you feel sunghoon speed the pace of his fingers, making you see stars and have you completely ruined at his mercy. breath hitching when you feel the coil in your stomach about to snap.
"just hold it out a bit longer for me, okay—?" he coos at you, tucking the strands of hair that draped over your eyes behind your ears. "hoonie please! s' so good." you babble, hands tugging at the collar of his shirt. you stretched it out so much that his collarbone showed.
a bead of sweat trickles down your forehead when sunghoon grants you permission to let go, spongy walls spasming around his digits as you crash forward and land your face against his chest. "that's it. did so well for me." sunghoon hums in satisfaction, licking your sweet release off his fingers and rubbing the side of your hips affectionately, pulling your panties back in place. you frown at sunghoon, hoping he wasn't done.
"i still haven't taken care of your problem down there.."
shuffling off his lap on the bed, you scramble and drop down to your knees; heels of your feet hitting against the plush skin of your ass. eyes looking up to sunghoon, awaiting. "shiiit, you're so pretty." he groans, seating himself up and off the edge of his bed.
looking down at you with your begging eyes that were inviting him to ruin you. and boy were you going to have such a story for gaeul when you get back home. "hoonie.. fuck my mouth?" you ask, hand reaching down to rub at your neglected clit. and who was he to refuse you, especially when you said please. pulling down his sweatpants along with his boxers, sunghoon is much much bigger than what you initially expected.
"oh…" your jaw almost dropping, but you contain yourself to just gulping nervously. "not big enough for you—?" he teases, hand coming down to grasp his length and pump himself as he waits for you put your mouth on him. "no.. you're too fucking big hoon. you're gonna destroy me." you rasp out, watching him take his hand off himself and replacing it with your own, making sunghoon hiss at the contact. he chuckles at your response, "we'll make it fit, don't worry— fuck—!" he moans, breath hitching when you try to take as much of his inches into your mouth, choking at about halfway. you look up, pleading for him to help you out. and so he did. hand grabbing at a chunk of your hair to create a makeshift ponytail and push his hips forward with a few experimental thrusts.
you didn't show him any signs of stopping, so sunghoon continued. he lets out a long groan feeling his tip his the back of your throat, along with the sensations of your harsh sucks. you moan around his thickness at the slight of his thick framed glasses fogging up with his heavy pants. your hands that were placed on on his thighs tapping twice to let you breathe in which he immediately pulled off of you. sunghoon holds his hand out for you grab and pull you up, wiping the saliva that was dribbling down the sides of your lips. "okay—?"
"s' okay." you giggled reassuringly, sunghoon smiles and places a kiss on your lips, and you could taste yourself from your previous orgasm from earlier against him. "think you can handle more..?" sunghoon asks with an eyebrow raised. "yeah. i want you to fuck me." you shrug, pushing him backwards so that he sat on his bed, initiating that you were gonna ride him, but no no no.
sunghoon manhandles you until your flat on your stomach. flipping your already hiked skirt up, not making much of a difference, kneading at the soft flesh of your pantie clad ass as you arch your back, wiggling yourself back at him for more. "so wet for me jesus." he grunts, pulling your now ruined paired down and over your ankles, tossing it somewhere in his room. he pulls his own shirt over his head and you oogle at his toned body, sunghoon laughs at your expression.
"only for you hoon. please. wanna feel your big dick inside me pleasepleaseplease." you beg, pushing your ass back to him in hopes he wouldn't make you wait any longer. sunghoon didn't, you look over your shoulder to see him reach over his nightstand to grab a condom, taking it out of the wrapper and placing it over him, giving a few experimental tugs before aligning the tip with your entrance. breath ragging as you feel him push in slowly, sunghoon groans alongside with your heavy breaths, the feeling of your walls gripping him so tightly.
if this was what heaven was like, sunghoon wouldn’t ever want to leave that place.
pulling out until only his tip was left in you and plunging forward again, sunghoon finds a pace that has you screaming his name like your life depended on it. "ngh—! hoonie harder—!" you shriek, making sunghoon remember that jongseong was still in the apartment and could probably hear what the two of you have been doing. pushing your head into his pillows, he grunts, speeding up the pace of his thrusts that made pleasure seep throughout your whole body.
"god y/n. your pussy feels so fucking good." sunghoon whispers, the room filling with nothing but the slapping sounds of his hips clashing against your ass. you moan into the pillow sheets, gripping his length like a vice and sunghoon wonders if he could ever feel you around him one day without a condom in the way. his hands grip your hips so hard that you know would leave a mark.
"gonna cum hoon. i need to cum hoonie please." you whimper as you lift your head up from his pillows, sunghoon groans again, his deep strokes hitting every right spot in your body. "let go for me y/n." he says, your body gives out, your whole upper half crashing against the soft material of his mattress as you coat his condom covered dick in your creamy white substance. sunghoon stills his movements, finishing inside the condom before pulling out. taking it off of him and twisting it before tossing it in the mini trash can by his bed.
putting his boxers back on and laying himself beside you. pulling you into an embrace as he put his tshirt over your body. the room is no longer filled with a sexual atmosphere, a piercing silence filling the air.
"we didn't fully revise your paper.." sunghoon speaks up, your head resting against his panting chest. you let out a loud laugh, playfully swatting at his shoulder, "god hoon! you just fucked the living life out of me and your already all books and brains again!" "sorry sorry." he chuckles.
"mm it's okay we can revise it tomorrow." you murmur. "after you let me take you out on a date—?" you nod and place a kiss on his lips in agreement.
"you know sunghoon.. i really didn't expect you'd have it in you.." you whisper, eyes half lidded. "what? you thought i was a whimpering virgin who's never felt the touch of a woman—?"
"that's exactly what i thought."
#lee writes ! ‧₊˚ ୨ ୧ ˚₊#sunghoon smut#park sunghoon smut#park sunghoon x reader#enhypen smut#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon imagines#park sunghoon#sunghoon
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