#the one with the kid version of hms don't see Whole as a fucked up creature

[lionacuty]

The Whole

[lunastarnight]

Curts teeth

Another writing project, once again inspired by @turkeyinnovember. They made a post about a headcanon of theirs ( this one: https://www.tumblr.com/turkeyinnovember/717345318493110272/i-wish-i-can-just-shtpost-about-recreyo-and-not?source=share), so i tjought I might as well put my own little spin on it.

They had all just finished another scenario, and were now all sitting in their living room, just kinda excausted.

Curt and Christian were both on their phones, Curt playing some shitty mobile game to kill time and Christian looking through social media, Den was fidgeting with a pocket knife she had brought along, Ivan was still just kinda subconciously feeling where he had (once again) gotten stabbed in that scenario, and Kristine was holding an ice pack to her head, having hit it earlier.

But she was also staring at Curt. She had been wondering something for some time, finally unable to hold back and breaking the silence:

"So what's up with your teeth?"

Curt looked up confused. "My teeth?" he asked, thinking he might've just misheard her.

Kristine nodded, "Yeah, your teeth, why are they so weird?"

Curt looked confused, flashing his teeth for a moment. "The fuck are you talking about?" He looked to the others, hoping they could clarify what the fuck Kristine was trying to say.

Kristine vaguely gestured to him. "You know", she tried to explain herself, "why do they get so sharp sometimes?"

Christian laughed, speaking up. "Out of everything that happened, this is weird to you?"

Den shrugged. "Never really took the time to question it, figured it wad just some Multiverse stuff."

Ivan looked over with a small grin. "Gotta agree, sharp teeth aren't that big compared to some of the other stuff."

"Oh, that's what you meant." Curt shrugged. "No, not some multiverse thing or anything like that, this has always been like that, ever since I was a kid." Curt went back to his phone, nonchalantly adding "Probably just what happens when you're quarter Werewolf."

"Huh!?"

"Hm?!"

"What?!?"

The atmosphere in the room immediatally shifted, the other four staring at Curt, all of them having a different version of a mix of confusion and shock on their face.

Kristine spoke up first. "What did you just say?"Curt looked up at them again, raising an eyebrow. "What? Did I never tell you?" Chtistian sputtered in disbelief. "No! You kinda didn't." Curt seemed slightly apologetic for that, and quickly went to explain. "Oh, sorry. Well, my Grandma on my dad's side was a Werewolf, so with my dad being half a Werewolf, I'm quarter Werewolf."

They all just kinda stared at him, still very much confused. "You've never been gone on Full moon nights though.", Kristine muttered. "So what, you're immortal?" Ivan asked. "What, are you gonna turn us now that we know?" Christian said jokingly.

Curt held his hands up in the air, trying to get all of them to shut up. "Hold up, hold up, hold up, one thing after the other.", he said, looking to see if they were all paying attention, "First of all, how do you know I was never gone, did you watch me sleep or some shit?" Curt chuckled, interrupting Kristines sputtered attempt at defending herself as he continued. "But, the reason I was never away was, because I don't really have that transformation thing. Under 50 percent you typically loose most of the major Werewolf stuff like transforming into a Wolf or howling at the moon. Second, I'm not immortal, don't think any Werewolf is, they just have a longer lifespan, but since I'm more human, I will probably not live longer then any of you guys. Lastly, no, I won't. Even if I wanted to, the whole "turning people into Werewolfes" thing is kinda for actual Werewolfes, the only real Werewolf things I have are the teeth, slightly enhanced senses, and nightvision. So, even if I were to try, and bite one of you, the most that would probably happen is that'd taste bad."

They sat in silence for a bit, taking in the information, before Ivan perked up again. "What's that supposed to mean, do you think we aren't clean?"

Curt grinned, leaning back in his seat. "Honestly? Especially you, even just with all the stupid situations you're in every scenario, you probably sweat more then the rest of us, that can't taste good."

And with Ivan trying to defend himself, the usual banter continued as if nothing happened. Curts heritage had been a suprise, but honestly? As previously said, really not a big deal compared to what they were usually getting into, they'd be fine.

[choke-me-joey]

okay how about Joe telling you he wants kids for the first time 🥺

like you guys are already married and you’re visiting family and he sees the way you interact with your niece/nephew and he has the talk with you later that night??

STOP 🥺😭 this is so cute omg I'm so soft for this. I hope this was okay!!

Let me know if you want me to write the baby making part 😈

Your arm was dead, so very dead and numb, maybe slightly fizzy, but very dead.

But my god you didn't want to put your new nephew down, no matter how hefty he was. Your gaze was fixed upon his little sleeping face as your brother Nick, they baby's dad, was telling you, your husband Joe and your parents the birth story as this was the first time you'd all been able to get together since the baby's birth.

"-9lbs, 9oz he was! Couldn't bloody believe it, Becky was exhausted, weren't you babe?" Your brother grins at his wife who, bless her, looks absolutely shattered. No wonder, she'd only given birth a week ago. "And, oh, Joe, mate, just a heads up, the placenta comes out after the baby, it's like they give birth twice!"

"Twice?!" Joe looks a little horrified as he wrenches his attention away from you and the baby to stare at your brother. You roll your eyes. Becky gives your brother a gentle kick, silently telling him to knock it off.

Your mum, a godsend, senses the unease and asks Joe to give her a hand in the kitchen for a minute. Your husband, ever the people pleaser, kisses the top of your head as he follows her out of the room. You glare at your idiot brother.

"Thank you, Nicholas, we hadn't even talked about kids yet and you're already scaring the shit out of him." You hiss, taking the bottle that Becky was holding out for you to feed the baby with. You switch arms, settling your nephew once more before holding the teat to his tiny mouth. He happily accepts it.

"What? I'm just preparing him!"

"Preparing him would be more like telling him what brand of conception vitamins you used, babe, not what organs are going to fall out of his wife when she births their child." Becky sighs, leaning back on the sofa massaging the bridge of her nose.

Your brother shrugs. "Well, look at Y/N, she's a natural, Joe doesn't have anything to be worried about!" He shoots you a smile as you place a muslin cloth over your shoulder before burping your nephew. You had tons of experience with babies, your other brother having had 2 kids and you were the only one in your close friendship group to not yet have a kid or two, not that it bothered you.

Your nephew finishes his bottle and brings up his wind like an angel, so in theory he should have gone to sleep. Until he didn't. And started to get pissy about it.

"Well, don't get cross at me, you just gotta close your eyes, baby." You say gently, standing up and walking around the living room, gently rocking and shushing him. Joe and your mum come back into the living room with some food and drinks for everyone, and whilst your brother, Becky and your mum and dad are chatting amongst themselves, Joe can't take his eyes off of you.

You're still rocking your nephew, alternating between shushes and soft words, smiling down at him as you do so. Joe feels his chest tighten, but not in a way that he felt before meeting thousands of people at a con, or filming a new project. This was...different. You catch his eye as your nephew has finally drifted off in your arms and smile at him, and he can't help but grin back, falling head over fucking heels again for you, his beautiful wife.

The one he wanted to mother his children.

*

"So, where are you on the whole having kids thing?" Joe suddenly blurts out later that evening as you're wrapped in a blanket on the sofa together, full of Chinese and a couple of glasses of wine.

"Hm?" You gaze up at him from his lap, a confused frown on your face. Joe hadn't really spoken about having children much. His career was sky rocketing and he barely had time to be with you, let alone mini versions of you. You'd be married for 2 years and the topic of kids had only come up a handful of times, although never directly from him. "Well, you know I want them babe, but I'm happy to wait until you're ready."

"What if...what if I said I was ready now?" Joe said, gazing down at you and running his fingers through your hair. You sit up, facing him.

"Really?" You asked, unable to hide your grin. Joe shifts so he's facing you, taking your hands in his.

"Yeah, really. Been thinking about it for a while actually but today, seeing you with the baby and how good you were with him...God you just looked so happy and comfortable, you know? Honestly it made me fall in love with you all over again."

"Aw, Joey," you pout, squeezing his hands. He leans over and kisses you softly. "So, you wanna have a baby? Like, right now?"

"Picked up some of those conception vitamins your brother recommended when I ran into Tesco earlier, got some for you too." Joe shoots you a sly grin. "I've already taken mine so..."

"I'll meet you in the bedroom in 5?"

"Let's go make a baby, darling."

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently Watching - December

aka The Masterlist

Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 24.12.2023

A little link to my favorite bl-tropes-collection 💙

I am happy about gif-requests 🌼

Here you can find all of my gifs.

And if you want to show me something you think I might like, just let me know with #josistag

At the end you can have a look at what we can expect in September with MDL link and a link for a trailer (if avaible).

This is guaranteed to contain spoilers!

1. 7 Days before Valentine (1/12 WeTV)

Hm... This was not what I expected. The acting was a little bit over the top. I don't know if I can stand Sunshine. The feeling this first episode gave me was kinda off. I don't know. Right now I don't know if I want to keep watching it.

2. BL Drama no Shuen ni Narimashita: Crank Up Hen (1/3 on Gaga)

This series gives me so much joy! I wasn't expecting this being so funny! It is hilarious, a little bit cringy, but for the right amount and not over the top. It is really a blast. The characters are lovable and the managers are the best 😂 I am really enjoying myself with this one.

3. Cherry Magic (3/12 on Youtube)

I love the japanese version and I try to not compare those two with each other. So far I am doing quite well. I liked the first epiosde. I like Tay as this absolutely whipped character. And for now I am hating GMMTV for a lousing contract and the Japan's network for copyright strinking the series so we international fans aren't able to watch the series anymore on legal sites...

4. Cityboy_Log (11/? on Youtube)

Soon-to-be Idols, actors and models vlog their days of photo shoots and meetups and how they fall in love with each other. It is surprisingly good and the acting is excellent. It really feels like a "real" vlog and that is what we are all here for. I really enjoy those four men on my screen.

5. Cooking Crush (2/12 on Youtube)

I have to admit beside Not Me, I am not the biggest fan of OffGun. Their slapstick humour is just not mine. I can't get the right feeling for this series right now. I will wait and see how it turns out with more episodes... Guess I'll drop this one soon if I am not watching the next episode and catch up on the already aired ones...

6. Dead Friend Forever (1/12 on iQiyi)

Do I like horror? Nope, not at all. But so far I had fun with the first episode. Everytime there was some suypence I just looked away and as long as there are no creepy sounds I am good. The plot gives such a typical highschool/college horror vibe and I kind of like it.

7. For Him (1/12 on iQiyi)

I don't know if I will keep up with this one. Actingwise it is not that bad. We have to wait a bit for a deeper story. Right now it is just friends with benefits and I really hope there is something more to come. But a safe-sex-policy! I like that. And I forgot about this one... Guess it was a little bit much these past weeks. I don't know if I'll drop this at the end of the month or not...

8. Last Twilight (8/12 on Youtube)

I got fucking emotional when Mhok read from The Little Prince and they had this whole big conversation through the book and I am in tears just thinking about it. The Little Prince is very special to me. The series is so soft and so good! The friendship that they build up, the trust between them, the looks, the tension! I love it! And Mhok is the biggest green flag, disguised as a red flag ever! He is the warmest person ever!

9. Pit Babe (7/13 on Youtube)

Ladies and Gentlemen! We have an Omegaverse! I am still in shock! I usually don't dive into the omegaverse, but I did read some webtoons. I am curious how they'll play it out. What the hell was this conversation about wanting kids? Is there mpreg? Why do I have to think about such stuff... It would be something different indeed. But perhaps they wanted to have some fun with us...

10. Playboyy (6/14 on Gaga)

I am intrigued! I needed to call my best friend and tell her about what I have seen. Not just the amount of sex and masturbation and wet dreams, but the way it is filmed. I am intruígued! It looks like a romantic dream combined with porn. It is so artsy and it feels like watching a ballet. In it the dance explains the plot and here the sex, the camera, the lightning and everything around the plot describe the plot. It is so good!

11. Sahara Sensei to Toki-kun (3/8 on Gaga)

Toki is a little bit over the top for me, a little bit too goofy, but the obverall first impression was not that bad. And to be honest who didn't have a crush on a teacher during their school time? Mine was my german teacher in 10th grade. He was young and he wore leather pants. He was cool and really good at his job. I loved learning at that time.

12. The Sign (6/12 on Youtube)

I am already in love with this series! Mystical elements, a good chemistry between the actors, some fighting, naked men... What else could I wish for... Oh yeah, and an accidental kiss 😂 But I still enjoyed it so much!

13. Twins (9/12 on Gaga)

I don't know what it is. The story is... nothing special. The acting is okayish. Sprite's/Zee's facial expression need some time to get used to. And yet, I like this show! It is one of my most anticipated watches of the week. I like First and I LOVE enemies to lovers 😅 It is one of my weak spots!

Finished in December

Series

1. Boys Like Boys (10/10 on Gaga)

This taiwanese dating show accompaniese eight men on their six days journey to find love. All the contestants were so lovable and nice and unique. I enjoyed this show very much! My romance-heart had been fed over the past weeks with this show and with the last episode it got a suger overdose 😅 Because this is a dating show and not a regular series, my rating is a little bit simpe. I liked it so it gets 10 out of 10 points.

2. Bake me please (6/6 on Gaga)

This series is so good! It gave me a good feeling over the weeks. Even though the drama in episode five was a little bit too manufactured and a bit too much, I enjoyed the show. It made my sundays something special and gave me a real warm feeling. I can just recommend it to watch (perhaps binge it while eating delicious cake and drink some hot chocolate). I will miss it! And I liked Ohm and Guide together! Peach was such a sweetheart and his smiles made me smile. Guy... I loved you, than I hated you and in the end I just liked you... You lost me in episode 5... Because it made me feel so good, I give it a 10 out of 10.

Movie

Short Film

Dropped/On-Hold in December

Looking forward to in December

I Feel You Linger in the Air Special: Scent of Memory - Trailer (Dec 17th)

Cherry Magic - Trailer (Dec 9th)

It's complicated - Trailer (Dec 14th)

Colorful Melody - Trailer (Dec 16th)

Dead Friend Forever - DFF - Teaser (Dec 23rd)

BL Drama no Shuen ni Narimashita: Crank Up Hen (Dec 24th)

1626 (Dec 24th)

Wuju Bakery - Teaser (Dec)

Night Dream - Teaser (Dec)

[crappymixtape]

something infinite • teaser

TEASER • S O M E T H I N G I N F I N I T E

teaser for something infinite, a steve x reader series set in an AU version of hawkins, indiana, 1987 // an enemies to lovers fic – find this series and more here.

JUNE 1987, 🎶 the rat, the walkmen 

“C’mon Harrington, don’t be a pussy, get in.”

“Shit, hurry up Tommy!”

“Shut up, I’m going!”

With two wires held tightly between his fingers, Tommy Hagan quickly brushed them together until the old Chevy Blazer rumbled to life, Lynyrd Skynard’s Call Me the Breeze screaming through the speakers.

Well now, they call me the breeze, I keep blowin' down the road! I ain't got me nobody, I don't carry me no load!

“Fuck yeah, get it in drive!”

Steve didn’t know how he ended up there in the passenger seat of an about-to-be-stolen car – sheriff’s car to be exact – and he could feel his heart pounding in his chest as Tommy struggled to shift it into gear. His hands gripped the dash in front of him as he watched a light come on inside the house, “Jesus, Tommy, fucking move!”

“I’m trying, god damn gear shift is stuck!”

It was the hundredth weekend in a row, Steve was certain, that his parents were out of town on business and the fight he’d had with his dad that night had been a real crowning achievement. The worst of all time and something in him snapped. All he wanted now was to feel something. Anything. And it was barreling toward him like a train off the rails.

“HEY, YOU LITTLE ASSHOLES! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY TRUCK!”

“Oh shit, we gotta go, we gotta go!”

“Fucking bail!”

The screen door on the front of Hopper’s house flung open so hard the whole frame shook as it slammed shut behind him.

“Get outta here, meet back at my place!” Kyle and Tommy jumped out of the car so fast Steve didn’t have any time to think.

“Shit, shit shit shit,” scrambling, Steve’s hand fumbled on the door handle as he shoved it open, scraping his leg against the runner board on his way down. Hair messed and wild in his eyes, he looked up to see his friends were already over the fence and sprinting toward the tree line behind Hopper’s place, “Wait!”

Not bothering to close the door behind him, Steve tried to pick up a sprint, but a large hand half-shoved, half-grabbed the back of his neck and within seconds he was face down in the lawn with a mouth full of grass and dirt, Hop’s weight pressing him into the ground.

“You little shits think you’re so clever. Well, s’the last time you fuck with Hopper, hm?”

SOMETHING INFINITE SYNOPSIS: hawkins, indiana, 1987 – your mom is out of town for the summer on business and she sends you to live with your aunt joyce and her husband jim in hawkins while she’s gone. joyce works at the library and jim is the town sheriff – the kids, will, jonathan and el slowly warm up to you and it’s after you get in with them that you really start to feel at home, but there’s one person who just annoys you to no end. one person you’d love to just boot off a cliff – steve fucking harrington.

[anywayshapeorform]

[CONVERTED AUDIO FILE]

So. Why did you want me to go around the Island so suddenly? You never did it before.

... if you want to go around for a while, i would gladly take the break

... I heard it's been raining again. Aurora told me...

yeah, it rains at least once a day now

... How is everyone?

you could ask them in person tomorrow

... How are you?

...

...

... alive. here. watching and watching. like a little porcelain doll on top of the highest shelf, who cannot be taken down to play because it's part of the decoration and is too delicate to go to a kid's hands

... Hm...

i didn't even see the glitch. in a single hit, it left me with two and a half hearts in the communicator diaplay. i hate the diference between surviving and active fighting

... A porcelain doll can only play around if a ghost decides do haunt it and put words into it's painted mouth.

you know what i meant with that metaphor, don't twist it

You are haunted, though. You died here, but now you are around forever.

and you are the one who gave the corpse the chance to pretent to be the living person, by giving me the wing

... You deserve it. You deserve a chance on being your own person. If that was the price R asked, I could only deliver.

maybe you shouldn't have. i am a fucking living thing stuck on the appearance of a porcelain decoration, always doomed to have people forgetting i said i am here to stay

... People didn't really have the time to grieve, you know? It's still fresh in everyone's minds. I didn't see you, but I still saw the blood your body left behind when you appeared through me... the red was still scarlet...

... i try to act like i used to, but i don't fully remember how i used to be

That make everything even more uncanny!! You try to act like a- you need to accept the death of an ego, Iris!!!

...

You literally died. You had enough time to process it all, but you died here. I did not feel your presence for two days. Of course there's people who see you alive and fear ther you'll just be gone out of nowhere, you died here. You did not wake up here, but instead you went into a fucked up version of an afterlife and climbed your way back against all odds!!

...

I don't know how you did it! I was living in the desert until one day where I just woke up inside a fucking well!! You just... you avoided all of that...

not everyone noticed the whole ordeal. i am sure that if i just didn't warn anyone, i could lie about hitting my head a bit too hard and waking up after some time. i would just need to be careful to have a similar appearance when i got back...

... Everyone would notice the differences... specially your-

do not. i know you talked to him recently. i do not want to know. i don't want to feel even worse than i already do about just knowing how to survive by myself, or about-

Did you even explain to him what being a Watcher is? Maybe he just doesn't know you are not happy always being put back on the top shelf.

...

Even if I can sense you around, I also still worry about just... waking up one day and not finding you anywhere, you know? I am not really fit for looking around in The End like I used to be, you know? Imagine being someone that cannot even feel your presence.

[mj-spooks]

OH. Some good Leverage questions. I'm just gonna send them so I Don't forget them. 1) Leverage Crew as different Robin Hood movies/knockoffs? I nominate Disney for Parker and Men in Tights for Hardison. 2) Leverage Crew by iconic quotes? Eliot has "It's a very distinctive _", but who else? 3) Why haven't I asked this one earlier? It's one of my iconic questions? Leverage Crew, each one missing one of their 5 senses.

1) They’re all Men in Tights, what are you on about? 

I’m kidding, of course. Disney is totally Parker, yes. As an offshoot, OUAT’s Robin is Nate. Sophie and Eliot are both the BBC show, but like. Only the first couple of seasons. These are the only good adaptations and therefore the only ones I’ll entertain.

2) Hardison’s is “Age of the geek, baby!” but I can’t think of any specific lines for anyone else??? Are they the only two with a proper catchphrase???

But, I feel like, on a spiritual level, Parker’s is “Hold my beer and watch this.”

3) HM. Okay. There’s five crew members, so each one’s missing a different sense, yeah? Let’s be mean.

Eliot with no sense of touch, not great for a person who’s whole job is “hit people.” You think it’s fine, but remember that no sense of touch probably means no pain receptors. He has no idea how beat up he’s getting. That’s Bad. Also, he’s generally not trying to kill people, which is gonna be more difficult if he can’t gauge how hard he’s hitting.

Sophie can’t see. Difficult to read people’s body language when you’re only going off their voice. She’s going to have to compensate somehow, pay extra attention to tone and volume. Maybe get extra touchy so she can get a read on their posture/tension from that, which has the bonus of Annoying The Fuck out of Nate.

Parker can’t hear. She spends a lot of time in dark confined spaces where her hearing is her main sense. Plus, you can’t crack a safe if you can’t hear the tumblers. Or, I assume. I don’t know much about safe cracking. Also, if she can’t hear, Sophie can’t coach her on grifting through the earpieces. On that note, imagine the chaos and hilarity of a version of Parker that can’t hear and therefore can’t take direction/suggestions from the others.

The last two senses aren’t super interesting wrt what the crew does unless they have a specific need on a job, so...

Hardison can’t taste because if we give that to Nate he’ll just use it to get drunk af on cheap alcohol, also because it’ll drive Eliot nuts. Nate can’t smell anything, which is probably a godsend because I’ve always felt like 90% of the people they interact with are the sort to wear way too much of a very obnoxious perfume/cologne.

[ditchedxxx]

21 questions

I'm late I'm so sorry vslndjwndks.

/////

Nickname: Katie. Sometimes Kates?

Zodiac: I'm not sure if you mean starsign or the chinese year thing, so I'm doing both. I'm a libra, born in the year of the dragon lmao

Height: 4'11 and 3/4 shut up i'm tiny

Last movie I saw: Bleach, the Diamond Dust Rebellion lol. My dad just downloaded it and I had nothing to do so.

Last thing I googled: Uh. A recipe for afritada bc my dad wanted that for dinner.

Favorite musician: ooohhh that's so hard I listen to a lottttt of artists. I think rn the answer is Jojo, because I've loved her music since I was little! Too little too late was my jam as a kid, and god, did I love her newest albums. Oooooh and the updated old ones? The 2018 versions of leave (get out) and too little too late... so good.

Hm. I gotta add tho bc Sara Bareilles and Michelle Branch are right up there with her. 3 year old me could sing Michelle Branch's Breathe, and i still throw it on when i feel senti. Sara bareilles music makes me feel soooo much and i love her.

Song stuck in my head: Ghost of You by 5SOS. It inspired an angsty fic that I'm gonna plot tonight, and probably shelve for future use after I finish my zine piece and my other chapterfics.

My other blogs: oof okay. @apieceforthewrongpuzzle is my studyblr. I don't use it much and mostly reblog, just for resources and helpful tips. @themundanebeautyproj was for a school assignment and I haven't deleted it bc i use it to save posts i want to find easily since i dont use it as often-- ergo, less reblogged shit to scroll through. And @haikyuutales-a-collection is the blog for my haikyuu folktales zine! I'm currently taking a short break from the PR since I don't have discord access, but follow that blog if you wanna be updated about the zine's progress and see sneakpeeks and stuff later on in the creation process!

Do I get asks: I've had a few. Some on anon, most from friends. I wouldn't mind more though!

Following: uhhhhhhh 524...? Whoops

Followers: 80! Wow that's a lot. Thanks guys!

Amount of sleep: usually 8-10? All i know is almost always, regardless of what time i fall asleep, i wake up around 9ish. Recently, anyway.

Lucky number: i've always really liked 7.

What I'm wearing: an "okay? Okay." Shirt that has two sad little cuts in the bottom left from who knows where and black and green sports shorts-- yknow, the weird holey ones.

Dream job: teaching, or something involving museums or libraries. Editing would be nice too.

Dream trip: honestly? Anywhere. I'd love to visit more asian countries tho, especially japan and korea!

Favorite food: bacon or chocolate! Also rice. Fuck yeah rice is great

Play any instruments: i briefly tried to learn guitar but soon gave up. So no. I sing tho.

Languages: English is my mother tongue, obviously, it's what I grew up speaking, but I have a pretty decent grasp of Filipino (mostly comprehension, my grammar is shit). I also know very very basic Mandarin. Not a lot. Briefly tried to use duolingo for french so i have a smattering of vocab in that language. I also once had a phase where i tried russian. I remember like. 2 phrases and nothing of the alphabet. Uh. I know some ASL? Like. 5-10 signs and fingerspelling only tho.

Favorite songs: ..... don't ask me this. I listen to a Lot

Random facts:

I'm Catholic, but not super devout

I sometimes write poetry

You can't see them unless you're rightttt up in my face, but i have some freckles on my nose and cheeks. They're hidden by my dark-ish skin tho.

I like to lick my lollipops slow and whatever idk, and i only eat orange ones

I studied STEM in my last 2 years of hs and hated it, my whole class knew I should've gone humanities bc that's where my passion was

I discovered I liked writing in 7th grade a week after I turned down an invitation from the writing club to join the invitational science club instead. I didn't have much fun. (Seems like foreshadowing....)

I was once in the top 24 students for math in my grade level-- out of 280 students give or take. Only for 4th and 5th grade tho.

Uh. My SAT score was 1440?

Lol they're all acads related bc i went to visit my old school today and have no idea what else to say.

Bonus-- describe yourself as aesthetic things: polaroids and old letters, open notebooks and fountain pens, calligraphy inks in bottles lined up on shelves. Sunsets through windows and a girl with her arms spread wide in the rain. Also fairy lights and lanterns. A single knife blade. Headphones.

Okay! Tagging is hard. I tag!!! @mooifyourecows @sugaandyams @i-am-a-bit-of-a-crank @rootnjoons @lovetinted @cheetahleopard @tentaclebubbles @tendous-satoris @that-one-guy-in-naruto @onceabluemoonwrites @tottwriter @raincloud10 @satans-little-rabbit @cathxstra @glitch-writes @icannotbebotheredanymore @kenmagoesblep @cubistemoji andddd idk im out of ideas for who to tag wow ok.

Just do it if you want!!!!

[indigochromatic]

Hm. The way I think about it, "system accountability" is recognizing and internalizing that no matter how distinct and whole we are individually, we're still interdependent. Because we're in this whole thing together, for better or worse. (Like a spaceship crew, or, y'know, all of planet earth, if you want to get philosophical.) This means thinking about and taking responsibility for how my own individual actions impact not only myself but also us collectively and the other member(s) of my system (hey, L) individually. If I have a bad day and fuck up our body--well, we only have one of those, so she also has to use it. If I'm an ass to her friends, she'd be (rightfully) mad at me, because even if they're people I don't really care about personally, I've just done the moral equivalent of walking into my housemate's room and broken her stuff (in this case, damaged relationships of hers). Dude, what the fuck. Similarly, if I'm having a rough time and L just ignores me/it for weeks, I'm gonna be (rightfully) mad, too, because, as a system, I need some amount of cooperation and help from her to fix that shit. I can't always just shove her out of front and fix it myself--sometimes I'm too deep in the back, sometimes I've already fronted for 3 days and literally Just Can't anymore, etc--so we have to be a team.

We share a brain, so if I'm depressed, we're depressed: just because it hits me first doesn't mean it won't hit her too eventually. Likewise, frustrations that I have don't just "float away and magically get fixed" if I'm not in front (fun fact: that's called repression, kids!), and self-hatred issues that she has are still "in our brain somewhere" until we fix them. Neither of us can just 'walk away' from the other one's problems, because even if one of us went dormant, all of that baggage and the underlying issues beneath it would still be there, even if it took a while to make it back up to the surface. If we only have one car and I pop the front left tire, it doesn't matter if that's "my side of the car" and not hers--the whole car's still fucked, lol. Unironically, we talk about system stuff in therapy in very similar ways to couples therapy, because on some level, yeah--our life is a group project now. It's a relationship, and relationships take work.

To us, that's how we see our system overall, and why that unavoidable interconnectedness and interdependency doesn't clash at all with seeing ourselves as full individuals. Yeah, it's a closer level of interdependence than two people with their own bodies and brains usually have. So what? Every different interpersonal "orbit distance" between two (or more) people comes with its own challenges and benefits, its own versions of healthy and unhealthy; this is ours, and the more we take care of it, the more it gives back to us.

I'm curious to open up this discussion, so:

What does "system accountability" mean to you?

I have my own feelings I just want to open up a discussion post

[fromheroestodust]

Rose Killer: Pt.7; Popcorn War

Summary: You're the leader of the strongest mafia in London. What will happen when you're forced to team up with your worst enemy?

Warnings: language

Word count: 2078

A/N: enjoy the happy lil chapter!

"Hey guys..." Paddy says slowly, a confused tone creeping into his voice and on to his face as he walks into the living room.

"Hm?" Sam hums, following his line of sight before grinning at the discovery. "Harry. Tom."

"What're you idiots grinning about?" Tom hisses before he himself lays his eyes on you and Harrison snuggled together on the couch. "What the fuck..."

Harry is the last to see, his jaw slightly ajar at the bizarre scene. "Are we gonna wake them up?"

"Definitely, but I need to do something first." Tom agrees before taking his phone out and snapping a picture, then walking up to the couch and lightly shaking you both awake.

Harrison groans before removing his arms from your waist to rub his eyes, opening them to find Paddy, Harry, Sam, and Tom watching over him.

"Morning mate." Tom greets. "What's going on here?"

"Shit..." He mumbles, sitting up slowly while you still lay comfortable in a deep sleep.

"So, what's happening here?"

"Um... Well- oh, okay yeah. You can obviously tell what's happening." He stutters, running a hand through his hair awkwardly, not knowing what to say or do while mentally cursing himself.

"So you're actually dating her?" Harry asks, surprise lacing his tone as he crosses his arms.

"Yeah." Harrison confirms, looking down at his lap.

"How long?"

"Since we got stuck up on the ceiling."

"How the fuck did you manage to get on her good side?" Tom asks, sitting down on the couch opposite from you with an angry and disapproving look upon his features.

"I don't know... It was after I ran into her at the gym for the second time."

"So that's why she's been in your room so much." Tom mumbles. "I've no clue what you like about her."

"She's quite nice if you get to know her." Harrison defends. Just as he finishes his sentence, you stir by his side and push your face into his palm before you settle back into sleep. "And touchy."

"This is the weirdest thing I've ever heard." Paddy states before walking away.

"You have a girlfriend too!" Sam teases with a grin, causing his brother to walk faster, a blush spreading on his cheeks.

"You're never going to hear the end of this." Harry smirks, looking from you to Harrison.

"At least I could find a girl." He quips, giving him the finger.

"Technically she was forced to be around you."

"Shut up."

Just before Tom gets up to leave with a pissed look you suddenly start stirring, fingers gripping the blanket next to you as you start murmuring unaudible words. Everyone in the room gives you a confused look - all except Harrison. He gently shakes you to attempt to wake you from what he knows is a nightmare. When he finally succeeds you sit straight up and let out a small yelp before you start to attack the air, ending up hitting Harrison once before he lightly grabs your hands, Tom stopping and turning to watch the scene. Your breathing quickens and fear strikes your eyes as you attempt to free yourself from Harrison's grip.

The others stare in surprise as Harrison tries to calm you. "Y/n. You're home." He tries to say before continuing in a softer voice, ignoring the other three in the room, "Hey." You stop thrashing around at the calmness of his tone, eyes scanning his features for safety.

The three other boys watch the scene unfold in front of them, surprise striking their silence as they see for the first time you in fear. They see you nearly instantly calm down when you see Harrison and fear escaping your frantic eyes. They see the connection you share just by this interaction and how easily you're calmed from nightmares they didn't know about when you see him. Tom sees that this was not just some petty relationship or a relationship to get to himself, that it's actually a relationship you both are dedicated to and want.

You cling to Harrison's arm, eyes finally landing on Tom, Harry, and Sam.

"O-oh... Fuck... Hi..." You mumble in surprise and embarrassment, scooting backwards slightly so you're partially behind Harrison as if they're going to pounce on you.

Tom coughs awkwardly before replying, "Hi."

"So... This is a thing..." You murmur, looking down to play with one of Harrison's fingers, your cheeks turning as red as the roses you wear daily.

Awkwardness quickly suffocates the air of the already stuffy room, making it hard for you to get enough breath in from your already labored breathing. Sensing your posture stiffen but also weaken, Harrison rubs his thumb over the top of your hand, efficiently calming you down slightly.

"Do you want to watch another movie?" Harry suggests, trying to break the tension in the room while moving from standing to the opposite end of the couch. Everyone nods in agreement and settles down on a sofa, Tom taking control of the remote. You push yourself into Harrison's side and rest your head on his chest, the images from your nightmare still replaying in your mind as your eyes dart to every place in the room as if searching for the danger you just know has to be there.

"Hey." Harrison says in a whisper, turning to look at you. "You okay?"

"... Yeah... Ish..." You reply, biting your lip to swallow the lump forming in your throat.

"Come 'ere." He offers, lifting his arms from around you to allow you to sit up. You move to sit in his lap, his arms wrapping around your waist with your hands in his, your head falling back into his shoulder as he places a chaste kiss to your cheek.

Tom finds a movie, another horror movie titled Before I Wake, while you pull a blanket over Harrison and yours' bodies.

How did you go from hating these people to sitting down with them and watching movies? How did you go from considering these people your enemies to considering them family? It happened slowly, then all at once, the progression of your relationships. If you go back to the root of it, it all happened because of Harrison. If you wouldn't have started talking to him, you would still be secluded off from the others and going through the torture of reoccurring nightmares by yourself. If there wouldn't have been the sun to save the rose, it would've shriveled and died in it's slightly changed environment, ceasing to exist without it's needs. You didn't realize how much you needed a connection until you had one with the living version of the sun. His bright personality lighting up the room so much you swear you have to squint your eyes just to look him in his own. Your days, having been filled with utter darkness, despair, and violence, are now filled with light, happiness, and love. Oh, how cliche that sounds to say a man coming into your life saved you from the pits of self pity; But how true is it? There is no promise that you'd be sitting there in his lap if he wouldn't have made a leap of faith to connect with you. That little leap of faith built a bridge for you to walk over the raging, black river of your fright.

"Wimp." You say as a man stops himself from killing the kid.

"Y/n!" Harrison laughs, his voice vibrating through your body sending warmth to your heart.

"If I adopted a kid and he came along with something that killed you I'd kill them." You shrug as if it was the easiest thing to do - technically everyone in the room wouldn't bat an eye if they shot someone.

"Thanks I think?" He smiles, planting a kiss to your cheek with his eyebrows slightly pulled together.

"Okay, okay." Harry sighs. "We get it you're a couple."

You stick your tongue out and throw a piece or popcorn at the boy, a rare smile gracing your lips.

"Hey!" He exclaims, throwing a few pieces back, one landing in Harrison's mouth.

"You guys are inmature." Tom sighs with a smile and shake of his head.

"Join us!" You say before launching food at him, one hitting him square in the forehead causing him to send you a glare.

"Oh, you're on."

The living room quickly turns into a warzone, everyone with their own bowl of popcorn and behind a couch, Tom by himself, you and Sam behind one, and Harry and Harrison behind the last of the three.

"Three... Two... One!" You whisper to Sam before you both rush out to the sofa Harrison and Harry hide behind, reaching it and pouring the whole bowls on their heads. Harrison grabs your waist as he falls from a sitting position to the ground, taking you with him in a fit of laughter from everyone. It felt so nice to laugh and be truly happy for a few moments.

"No no no no!" You exclaim as Tom dumps his popcorn on the four figures on the floor, leaping over the back and landing against it. "Harrison!" You yell as he starts to tickle your sides, the sound of laughter only increasing and draining out the noise of the long forgotten television. Kernels tangle into your hair, decorating the strands like ornaments on a tree as you attempt to break free from Harrison's grasp.

After you're finally able to sit up you shake your head back and forth, sending popcorn in every direction including at the four boys.

"She's the ultimate weapon!" Harry yells, grabbing a pillow to stop the food from hitting his face.

"Ow!" Tom yells out as a rose hits his neck, the thorn burying itself in his skin. "Foul play!"

"We win!" You exclaim with a wide grin, high-fiving Sam as you both laugh.

"Yeah yeah." Harrison says, popping a kernel into his mouth before standing up. You reach your hand out and he pulls you up, shortly followed by the other three.

"What time is it?" Tom asks, stretching with a yawn before picking up his phone.

"One." You answer before yawning yourself. You flip over the couch and lay down, pretending to sleep with a small smile splitting your face.

"Y/n, come on." Harrison sighs, walking around the sofa to face you, but only being greeted by you actually sleeping. Harry and Sam snicker between themselves as he scoops you up in his arms and walks with the small group up the stairs.

"Night." They all say before walking to their separate rooms, Harrison gently setting you down under the covers of his bed and climbing in himself. He pulls you close to him, your arm instinctively going to the space between the two of you, a hand on his chest as your body curls into a tight ball.

What you didn't know was how much joy it brought Harrison to hear you laugh or to see you smile for so long. He watched as you grew from a bud to full bloom. To see you comfortable around someone rather than him. It's amazing how one small act of kindness can boost someone's confidence in other people. He didn't realize how a few words can start something new, something completely unexpected but in a good way. It was such a great change to everyones life when you and Harrison got together, it's as if the mansion was moved onto cloud nine. With one additional person, it smoothed out the bumpy connections between everyone. Who would've known the worst enemy would turn into part of the family? He didn't realize how empty he was without someone to hold and protect overnight, the bed used to feel so cold with only one person in it, but it now was filled with warmth with two.

Now, you're probably thinking this is some cliche love story and it will end with everyone singing and holding hands with no one getting hurt. They'll just be peachy and live in the mansion as one big happy family. This is the end.

But when have I ever been the person to do that?

[ao3gingerswag]

hoho I got a whole TWO new lil ideas you're in for a treat today

FOR THE FIRST - on the vein of Cas's Adventure Of Making Sam Not Hate Thorougly Detest His Guts one day the boys are at the market and sam spots an absolutely horrendous piece of clothing. I don't know how it would work with the kinda sorta medieval thing we've got going but I'm imagining a god awful piece of knitwear (made by your grandma for a christmas present you hate but have to smile and thank them for anyways kinda ugly) and being the little shit he is, Sam is immediately like 'heyy casssss....' and the thing the next thing you know cas is wearing the ugly accessory from hell. sam is cackling maniacally like the little demon child he is and dean is a cross between annoyance (at sam for potentially making cas mad) and amusement (because dammit cas does look stupid in that hat). cas of course is just like :DDD I love it sam your right! it's so soft! anyways flashfoward to when they get home and sam and dean are thinking that cas'll just toss it in one of the closets and thatll be it but no. cas keeps wearing it. bc of course he does dean!! sam wanted him to wear it!! he's not taking this responsibility lightly!! and this goes on for a few weeks and cas is still serving customers and this point and so he's definitely getting quite a few weird looks. I feel like this could end in either one of two ways, one, the lighter version, is where sam eventually gets so annoyed at cas wearing it he actually gets outstubborned and reluctantly goes to cas and is like..... 'stop wearing the stupid hat'. cas is like :o but he does. the other version could also end with that but also has the interim of cas noticing the looks he's getting and it slightly stressing him out so he goes to dean all agitated bc he doesn't fully know if he's acting wrong/missing a que and then when dean tells him it's bc of the hat he's like :(( but I don't want to upset sam and take it off I promised :(( and then dean is like 'alright enough is enough' and they clear up everything and sam apologises for what he originally planned to be a harmless lil prank and the hat is retired.

(cas still finds it soothing to touch though and uses it sometimes in the future to calm himself down when he gets overwhelmed. sam, when he finds out, can't decide whether he feels proud or annoyed. (it's definitely proud))

awwwwwww!!! i feel like Sam is only really intentionally nasty to Cas when he's lashing out/being defensive, he doesn't really premeditate being nasty unless he's trying to protect himself or Dean...That being said, I can see this happening as kind of an in the moment thing that sort of spirals and Sam is too resentful to deal with. Like I feel like I could see them being at the market and Cas seeing the hat and being like hm. That is an interesting looking hat. Like not really liking it just sort of curious.

And Sam who is Not a fan of Cas at this point being irritated and grumpy and sarcastically being like yeah it would look great on you. You and that hat would get along great. You're both so ~interesting~ and ~unique~ >:(

And this is obviously an underhand insult and Dean is like :O Sam! But he doesn't say that outloud he just gives Sam a Look, bc if Cas didn't catch that Sam was being a jerk he doesn't want to draw attention to it and get Sam in trouble. And Sam is all >:( >:P at Dean.

But Cas does not pick up on this so he is like :O why thank u Sam! How nice of u to say! And he buys the hat even tho he personally doesn't care either way for it bc he wants Sam to feel validated. And both Dean and Sam are like :O but neither want to admit that Sam was being sarcastic bc then Sam might be in ~trouble~

Cas def does start wearing it all the time bc he wants to show Sam that he appreciates it!! And Dean is like :/ bc he doesn't like that people r giving Cas weird looks and he is Not Happy with Sam, but he's also still too scared that Sam will be hurt to say anything. For a while Sam is like >:( good. whatever I don't care. About Cas wearing the hat and getting weird looks. But he is a good kid at heart and deep down he feels really guilty, especially bc he knows Cas only keeps wearing it bc he wants Sam to be happy.

I feel like Sam would eventually feel bad enough to tell Cas that the hat looks really stupid and he was being a dick saying it would look good on him. Maybe he sees some people making fun of Cas and blows up at them, and then stomps over to Cas and admits the truth, and is all angrily/defensively like "so if you're gonna hit me about it just fucking do it whatever!!! Just stop wearing that stupid hat!" and Cas is like :O sam ofc I'm not gonna hit u!!!!!!! and Sam is all ??? but starts trusting Cas a little more.