#the one for this yr isnt specifically what i wanted but work wants me DEAD!

[gihuned]

new blog so we gotta establish the catboy chronicals. 2021-2024

[benis413]

meds rant lol

i am so fucking grateful for my meds working. i started taking adhd meds like 1 1/2 yrs ago and it sucked ASS but i essentially got diagnosed, felt pretty fucking pissed at my shitty brain and got stimulants shoved in my face by psychiatrists and ig i kind of thought that would fix me? idk i was really excited and heard other ppl with adhd talking ab how amazing it was to get medicated bc everything “went quiet” and holy shit i would give several toes and a foot for that, but the meds just gave me a shit ton of anxiety and uncontrollable energy for like an hour. i tried just about every adhd pill under the sun and some weird non-stimulant that lowered my blood pressure so much that i passed out lol, and i honestly should not have stayed on the meds i was taking for that long bc the side effects i got were ass, but i was kind of in denial ab them not working. 

i also started taking zoloft in February 2021 and they did fuck all, but the doctors just kept telling me to try a higher dose so i went up to like 100mg and it still didn’t fucking work (shocking, i know) and then in September when i told them i wanted new antidepressants they literally told me to take more walks. i shit you not this bitch of a doctor told me straight up that “meds won’t fix all ur problems for you”. like i already go on walks at least once a day? i did everything they’ve fucking told me to, i went through hell and back and i still felt like SHIT. they eventually gave me cymbalta and oh my fucking god. i remember this one specific night a couple weeks after switching meds where i had just put up my mini christmas tree and i was eating ice cream and i felt genuinely at peace and happy and i just started sobbing bc it was such a fucking relief to finally feel effortlessly happy after months of having to constantly prevent myself from reverting back to my default mode of sadness/numbness. it hasn’t been perfect, i still am pretty unstable and get really low “dips” but for the first time in so long i feel like i dont have to drag myself through life. 

and whaddaya know, it turns out that if you switch ssri meds you can react differently to stimulants, so i recently started taking adhd meds again and they fucking work. i damn near started crying during a math lesson bc i realized that i dont actually hate math, i just cant focus! fuck my eyeliner im crying in the club rn and the past week of school has been so good, ive caught up(almost) with the rest of the class and ive been in school all week (which almost never happens). i didn’t even fall asleep after coming home from school or break down after the week was over! 

it feels fucking fantastic (obviously), but i still feel kind of suspicious, like it feels strange to not be behind on school and just life in general ig. its been so long since i felt so alive, and its fucking february. who feels alive during february?! 

im legitimately terrified that any day now im going to get worse and go back to feeling half-dead. i really fucking hope that this isnt just temporary bc i honestly dont think i could survive getting a glimpse of what i could be and then having it taken away from me lol

[cleosahar-blog]

hlo i’m ari and i'm 20 and use whatever pronouns! atm i like she/her or they/them, and i’m in the est timezone. i’m back with my evil shitbaby hope u enjoy

(female ) haven’t seen CLEO SAHAR around in a while. the MEDALION RAHIMI lookalike has been known to be (+) TACTFUL & (+) OBSERVANT, but SHE can also be (-) CUNNING & (-) TEMPERAMENTAL. The 21 year old is a SENIOR majoring in ART HISTORY. I believe they’re living in PEREGRINIS but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. ( ari. 20. est. she/they. )

+ dark lipstick, dried flowers, black marble, the dead of winter, cigarette dropped in a glass of wine, candles left burning for hours, lighter touching a tongue, scribbled notes

her pinterest board!

tw mental illness

cleora “cleo” sahar is textbook slytherin. born to a russian woman too smart for her own good, named with something archaic via her mother’s fascination with everything grecian, cleo was basically born to be the personification of a nightshade. growing up in new york city didn’t particularly help her not-so-subtle erudite qualities, most specifically granted to her mother’s work as a professor at columbia university.

her father is an iranian immigrant who had enough charm to convince her mother to go on a date with him after three tries. her mother, nikita, always loved to tell this story.

cleo resembles her mother in many ways. from a cutting stare to her obsession with control, cleo had always wanted to be like her mother -- erudite to the point of possessing the ability for world domination. because of this, she was a bit of an elitist growing up, able to go to a good all girls private school on scholarship (not that she needed it), which led her to lockwood.

truly a wildcard and has this strange anger that’s been inside of her since she was a child. like a bomb that hasn’t completely detonated. on one hand, she was never able to completely relate to the girls at her high school, who were a bit scared of her because she seemed to be constantly seething.

fascinated w mythology, art history, film, etc

extremely sarcastic and cold most of the time. her familial pressures were enough to make her household tense, and the largeness of new york never allowed her to keep many intimate relationships or friendships growing up

has a god complex that she doesnt like to admit

uses her beauty to her advantage in most situations n has a reputation of a heartbreaker ever since she realized that all the boys from the public school downtown would ogle her on weekends

she isnt as reckless as the usual femme fatale — there’s this refined edge to her. like a glowing flame that never truly goes out

a scorpio..... ???? i literally cnt decide this is subject to change bt her personality? stereotypical scorpio perhaps

she was classically trained but ended up sticking to guitar/bass, is very talented and her tendency to be drawn to harder rock music/punk from her uncle landed her in a band in her freshman yr (think fiona apple/mysterious frontwoman of every 90s rock band/i was definitely influenced by the lead singer of crumb when i saw them live lol)

honestly an enigma like even her close friends are usually like [waka flocka okay gif] when talking abt her bc she’s a mystery in the sense that no one is truly close to her

exclusively wears red and black

winter is her favorite season

prone to depressive episodes extremely easily and if she can’t get her alone time she will go Absolutely Batshit

voted Most Likely To Slit A Man’s Throat in high school (an unspoken award)

bisexual bc who comes out of a girls private school straight

moral compass? questionable. she’s not one to be the most reckless simply because she doesn’t care enough for the thrill the way her peers do, but she’s been known to be a kleptomaniac in her younger years for the sake that she was damn good at it. very passionate about palestinian rights, women’s rights, etc. so her morals align with her good politics but her bad attitude and irreverence for authority has made her… slightly anarchist… although she thinks all that is dumb re: leftist boys she’s met

her intelligence makes the world limitless and her passion for art and music only confuse her intentions for her future... it’s like her ambition is on overdrive towards something intangible n cleo has a constant fear of grasping at straws bc of pressure from her mom

constant need for power n control due to her upbringing n probably some undiagnosed ocd... she has irrational problems that are more obscure in terms of what she needs to have control over bt she tells literally no one abt these

literally has an elaborate pocket knife in her bag at all times

WANTED CONNECTIONS

exes; people who have felt the brunt of cleo’s coldness and/or wrath. most likely on bad terms or she truly jst... does not have the mind to care abt them

the odd ex that she actually does care abt?? their relationship is... strange but if opportunity came she wld not say no to hooking up

fwb/hookups; u kno the drill... we love power play n unrequitedness n the confusion of who likes who more bring the angst 2 me!!!

unrequited crush?? cld go both ways... maybe someone who sees cleo so often that she’s jst curious enough to keep them around / someone who’s pining for her but she enjoys the game / someone she likes v easily (uncommon) n she truly.. doesn’t kno how to cope

NEMESIS

childhood acquaintance that cld be fwb or hookup or weird friend...or  something.. idk.. cnt decide if her cleo’s mother is a prof or someone in academia yet bc if so then this person cld be  a child of one of her colleagues?

all friends any type welcome pls she’s so stone cold that she needs 2 loosen up... ive written a gd VILLAIN in my head

[dwestfieldblog]

THOSE WHO DO NOT WANT TO HEAR MUST FEEL

This temporary apocalypse could be seen as a globally overdue Long Night of the Soul, an initiation of sorts which might result in a deeper understanding of what actually matters for human evolution (despite the very best efforts of the scum who are trying to reverse any spiritual progress because it weakens their hold.) There are several ways in which the negative side could truly take over, starting with the horror nightmare prospect of DT (aka ‘Just Another Scumbag’ as Bannon once called him) re ‘elected’. The realistic pessimist in me is sure that if he wins, this planet in this dimension is finished. His winning will be a final signal to the world to give us up. In my lifetime, we have never been so close to the mass breakout of totalitarianism and utter lack of empathy than we are now. Actual fascist populists, not some wet Liberal bleating but the real thing, ready to go live. Covid has bankrupted hundreds of thousands of businesses, millions have lost their jobs, migration from the truly poor and dangerous countries continues...into the becoming poor and dangerous countries. Those who live there and are already ruined by the disasters in every home will be easy prey for the populists. Speaking of whom...

Steve Bannon has spent a great deal of time and other people’s money in setting up a network to overthrow the (arf arf arf) ‘deep state’ and replace it with... a new deeper state...still run by the rich, who will use the populists, who in turn will use the mass of the angry and frightened...etc etc...And power, as most people recognise it, will stay in the hands of the unhuman swine with the most gold and the least soul. WER NICHT HOREN WILL, MUSS FUHLEN...

‘...the human nervous system properly programmed, can edit and orchestrate all experience into any gestalt it wishes. We encounter the same dismal and depressing experiences over and over again because they are repeating tape loops in the central programmer of our brains. We can encounter ecstasy over and over by learning the neurosciences that orchestrate all in coming signals into ecstatic tape loops.’ R.A.Wilson. Prometheus Rising, Hilaritas Press.

It takes a lot of effort and Will to do this but what else is worth it other than to attempt to break out of the vicious cycle and evolve? Even I have managed this when I focus on choosing it. Giving up ingrained behavioural habits often hurts; this is, however, a choice. It doesn’t have to unless you are a masochist.

Flew to England for three weeks in August, full flight sold out, all of us wore masks (apart from one 6 foot 6 mad eyed American who kept pacing up and down the cabin.) Right up to the point where we were all given a bottle of water, some crisps and two biscuits...All masks off at the same time, all passengers attempting not to breathe while we drank and ate. Love seeing how many in both countries wear masks under their nose or even only on their chin. As Bill Hicks would say ‘Any questions why we’re f.....d up as a race?’ As Jonathan Pie does say; ‘Put a f...... mask on.’ I have been coughing since February, and drinking heavily, so not especially optimistic about getting C19.

I avoided almost all of the news while in UK, watched five minutes in total on the TV and only read headlines in the paper. It was enough. Since I have been back in Prague I have continued to avoid the news other than that which I am told by friends and students but I can tell from daily receiving over one hundred emails that things are truly breaking. Hexagram 23 and total Weltschmerz is upon us. Mental health is twisting up globally. One by one, all my friends are suffering serious damage, one way or another. Hearts are breaking apart and many damnable souls, who should be burning, are not. People are afraid to breathe or to embrace, looking to the very worst set of leaders in my lifetime for answers and being manipulated en masse to mass crises.  

(Jaz Coleman....On the Day the Earth went Mad...watch the video, listen. Feel. Weep. Rage. Change.) QUI NOLERUNT AUDIRE DEBERE SENTIRE.

Love the interviews I saw with those who voted for Trump and realised they made a mistake...after FOUR YEARS. What clued them in? Which particular excremental atrocity of his foulness gave them the alert? Will the Electoral College let him ‘win’? Before I left, I saw the Trump interview where he said ‘It is what it is’, with regard to the massive number of deaths in the USA. ‘We are below the world’. Blood pressure rising, I even checked his Twitter account where he published two letters, one from the eternally unlovely NRA and the other from the American Police Federation, assuring him he was the best president to ever serve their interest and they would back him to the hilt. His plan to stir the US up into open civil war continues and Putin sits back and smiles. As does Jared it seems, the smug sadist advisor in the same style as (England’s off Broadway Trump) Boris’s Dominic Cummings.  Herd Immunity? Well yes it might work at some point after a few years and millions dead. You evil alien bastards. The  main individuals in the British Government will make millions from a no deal Brexit, perfect timing. The country will die.

The newest PC bullshit has got even the wonderful JK Rowling into trouble just for speaking her mind politely about transgender issues. I love PC... it is how dumb useless Liberals can act out their secret fascist impulses and feel hard of c..k and wet of p...y...feel good to be so righteous... same with overly ill humoured religious folk,  but the PC tribe cannot use God to justify anything so they are a bit weaker...You morons... ‘People who menstruate’, People with a cervix’? PEOPLE? Really? Women is a bad word is it? Too specific? (Well it has the word men in it, so seems almost inclusive.) You bastards are annihilating language; raping semantics...get another hobby you ridiculous cretins. (Be sure the populists well understand how to manipulate such fools.)

Extinction Rebellion is being used (among a multitude of other groups in other countries, hello Black Lives Matter) by the Kremlin to stir up shite, they are mostly well meaning on the road to Hell. Stop being so dumb and stop helping those who are against you at home and abroad. Dogmatic faith leads to mistrust, violence and hatred, says the lone derranger...And as for the absurd Q Anon, it is those who seek a Deeper State who are using you to do it. Well done.

Jacob Blake, shot seven (count them) times in the back by police even though charged with no crime and paralysed was handcuffed to hospital bed. That goofy twat of a 17 yr boy who wanted to be a policeman, shooting at blacks because he believed he had carte blanc (arf) from Trump to defend his country against ‘terrorists’...he will probably escape much punishment because... he was bullied at school...WHO WASNT?? The only people who weren’t were bullied at home. Guns ‘open carry’ in various states as the NRA rejoice in what they encourage. ‘Your first amendment means I can say your second amendment sucks d...s’. JimJeffries. Damn straight. By the time even I was 17, I had grown out of wanting to kill half the world. Wannabe cops are a little slower. 

Everything is the new normal. Too late for a mid life crisis unless I die at 108 but I never forget that statistically there is more chance of being killed by death than anything else. ‘Heres to my love! O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.’ Walking... see three funeral services shops in the road leading to/away from the hospital, clever businessmen...walking...masks off, between two conveniently placed flower shops and smoking outside the fuming crematorium in black suits and highly polished shoes. Waiting. That’s us.

I MISS YOU MARLENE. I MISS YOU MARLENE. I MISS YOU MARLENE. Nice headline seen on US newspaper...‘Can any good from cyberstalking your online crush?’I wondered that after falling in fascination with a woman in Germany who wrote like a poet and wove a spell of stories to charm and beguile. I would have walked from London to Hamburg to see if she was real. Everyone expresses love and the need for it in different ways. Reprogramming a deeply imprinted circuit is usually uncomfortable and so it proved for both of us. We shall see...if there is time. ‘One of us is crazy and the other one’s insane’

I can remember one of the days I Changed (seven years old?) We had a history lesson and were told about English kings and their ‘Divine Right’ to rule. Because God told them. And they told the people. And the people believed them. I remember the light in the classroom, where I was sitting, the smell of the tables, old unused ink wells, pencil shavings... and just thinking whatever a child’s version of F..K OFF...THATS BULLSHIT ISNT IT? would have been. That was the first moment I started questioning the class system, gullibility and bastards. A couple of years later, the absolute freedom of being, sent to collect the class register, walking down the empty corridors and not in the classroom...a beautiful feeling of being OUTSIDE. Free. Two of many experiences which have never left me. (The Angel Choir, the Rituals, the EYE across the Multiverse dream, the Reconnection...) Even if Freedom turns out to be as much of an illusion as everything else, it is still as beautifully sensual to me as music.

One summer night in 1990 after my 3rd breakdown, I had a dream. I think. Bear (or even bare) with me on this, I know how this sounds but it is only reporting what I saw in my mind. Two Aliens, thin and shadow like, came though my open bedroom door in the night (I could see the silhouettes) and one took a long shiny silver needle like a hypodermic for a horse and stood behind me and pushed the needle in through the top and centre of my skull, penetrating my brain. I FELT it slowly being pushed in, it hurt but I was paralysed. There was no voice but I heard (try not to laugh) ‘So now you have Superintelligence’. They moved out, the door closed, I slept. As usual with me, I remember every single dream I have ever remembered as if they were films I have watched over and over...and after a dream, the atmosphere stays with me for 23 whores. Later that day, I picked a big hardback book to find some info on something (A Cyclopaedia) with pages as thin as a bible. I sat almost motionless and without food for eight hours, DEVOURING every subject in it. Economics, geometry, geopolitical events, medicine, beliefs, systems.....the next day I finished ninety percent of it and went on to read books by five philosophers from second hand shops, started watching insects, stopped swearing, worked out, and read and read and read. All the knowledge I hadn’t cared about in school and college I picked up that one summer. It led to making new friends, new possibilities, new work, new love and led me to fly to Prague in this sequence while continuing to practice many ‘New age’ techniques by a writer called Stuart Wilde. They all worked and I continued...with regular fallings and breakthroughs.

‘Religion was invented when the first scoundrel met the first fool’. Faith is believing what you know not be true’. The seeker finds a belief and stops thinking for themselves...‘Every ideology is a mental murder, a reduction of dynamic living processes to static classifications, and every classification is a Damnation, just as every inclusion is an exclusion.’RAW

I had a four hour conversation with a Christian bloke, thirty, intelligent, believes in Satan as an actual being with horns. Etc. He couldn’t quite see any flaw in saying that any prophet who saw angels, white light and heard the voice of God, healed, etc but was not actually Christ, was only being tempted and used by the devil. He told me to watch the beautiful side of evil...

‘Every act of authority is, in fact, an invasion of the psychic and physical territory of another’. Human progress ‘is the concrete manifestation of some person’s refusal to bow to Authority.’  

‘WE GOT ELECTED ON DRAIN THE SWAMP, LOCK HER UP, BUILD THE WALL. THIS WAS PURE ANGER. ANGER AND FEAR IS WHAT GETS PEOPLE TO THE POLLS. THE DEMOCRATS DON'T MATTER, THE REAL OPPOSITION IS THE MEDIA, and the way to deal with them is to flood the zone with shit.’ Said Bannon, who also said. ‘Darkness is good. Dick Cheney. Darth Vader. Satan. Thats power.’ Has he met Putin yet? Is he also on speed dial along with Boris and Trump? People! Create better leaders. NOW.

Happy birthday Aleister Crowley on the 12th October and Happy Halloween to all readers, stay healthy and sane (arf) Remember you are magick...buy the re-release of Musick to Play in the Dark by COIL and become moonlight... And those in America, if you actually do truly believe in a good God...go and vote and remove that evil ego and his cohorts in the White House with absolute overwhelming victory or we are done in this lifetime. Be healthy.

LOVE!!!

[kosmicdream]

Temp. FFAK Official Timeline

This is a very rough, temp timeline for FFAK. It mostly covers events that have already happened or at least have been mentioned. I dont really cover anything that is happening in the present day timeline lol. I might make edits to this in case i fucked up in places or maybe ill just do a totally new one at some point! you dont even know how messy my actual one is like my god its an ever worse horrible clusterfuck of text. (Also remember, the ffak story has no time travel so dont be worried about that sort of mindfuckery!) enjoy

Years before 1414: Whenever was 600 million years ago i dont want to do the exact math: Evil Mother is born but shes not called that at all cuz she adopts that name later in life but just know she is here and readt to party Lots of stuff happens. like idk. evolution and life. 600 mil years is a long time ok -LALALA -HUMANS AT SOME POINT COME TO BEING.and form civilization and.. all that -modern human society exist! ppl have tvs and such. -Mandragora Worms have gone ‘extinct’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ooooo -??????????? a ton of other stuff. isnt history cool?? kicks legs, yells -mysterious worm break outs all over dmtia. bombs fall. wars. despair!  -Grant Lumberman gets a doggy at some point and loves it but then it dies and so does his family and friends and his whole city he is relocated to the Auseklis moon colony (on Dmtia’s moon!) along w/ other Vena Cavian kiddos !!!! (in yr 1414)

YEAR 1415 [Scene From Ch. 11: Pages 3161-3196, 3400-3401] Characters: Randall Aiguille - Age 20 Mr. Rotten (Which was named “Aeschylus” at the time, created by Randall) Crosshatch Unit (sort of) Rembrandt Aiguille - Age 22 Grant Lumberman (Aka, ‘Good Leadman’) - Age 14 Octavian “Otto" Silverberg - Age 15 (I was gonna type up every referenced scene like this then i was like fuck it thats too hard! lol)

Years 1416-1425 ?????????????? (most events likely will be mostly covered in a prequel series.) YEAR 1420: Crosshatch Unit first programmed/built by Randall/Rembrandt Aiguille leadman and evil mother fall in lurv at some point

YEAR 1426 Miracle Baby Crimson is Born (From Good Leadman/Evil Mother worm fuck action yeehaw)

YEAR 1427 -Crimson’s 2 eyes are removed + Evil Mother Believes they are dead and leaves Leadman to work with Tricend -Canary is Born (From Evil Mother, and a King Worm) -Hekatons are made (From The King worm that made Canary, concept of Hekatons is from Evil Mother) -July 8th: Perkons Hatches and will not let anyone near the other 4 eggs!! stay away

YEAR 1428 - Good Leadman (Age 27) and Perkons (6 months old) Meet (Happens in Jan) (Multiple scenes in ch10, continued in Ch11) Perkons turns 1 in July. -Perkons gets a hold of 1 of Crimson’s eyes at some point, turns it into a Knife.

YEAR 1429 - Perkons turns 2 in july and is a fully matured adult. Rest of the 4 hekatons eggs hatch sometime after in that year. -Dievas assumes protective guardian role for his siblings.  -Dievas meets Aeschylus. (ch11) YEAR 1430 Perkons turns 3. The rest of the first hekatons are one. During this year they mature to an adult. YEAR 1431 Lauma meets Velns, who is imprisoned. Then shortly after, Perkons confronts Lauma, she is 2, he is 4. So It took place after July 1431. He transforms the 2nd crimson eye into a Spoon in front of her.

Years 1431-1448 (specific dates not all disclosed sry): -Velns/Lauma, Dievas/Laima begin making children. baby baby baby! YEAR 1438 - Crimson (Age 11) is eaten by a Hydragora Queen worm - loosing her human body in the process but gaining a worm one instead. -Crimson runs around in a destroyed city, holding a corpse. Meets Velns who taunts them. -Lauma and Dievas make up, and have their first nest together- a Batch of A/B hybrid eggs. -Lauma is killed by Perkons -Velns is killed by Perkons (Which was also on Dmtia’s Moon, so the moon is destroyed.) -Laima is “killed” by Perkons. (Actually survived, as part of Dievas’ plan.) -Perkons confronts Dievas with the Crosshatch Unit and mention they fight for Peace and under the “Thumb” alliance. Perkons kills Dievas. (scene in ch11) -Laima escapes with A/B Eggs, as well as other hekaton eggs. (and will later form the Ghost Kingdom, which she rules as queen.) ????? many other things happen????? these were some busy years folks

YEAR 1449 -Crimson meets a Helper, Galore the Hekaton, and a Bunny worm (who will later grow up to be agent Paper) in the forests of DMTIA (Ch9) -Galore “meets" her first parents, Lauma and Velns, in some mysterious coma dream thing from listening to crims sexy magical heartbeat (also Ch9) ??????????more events happen??????????? -Galore “Dies” by exploding. Crimson witnesses it. -Bunny wormed named Cirrus “Dies” and is buried in a grave. However, she was only injured she later climbs out only to witness Crimson and Celadon leave in Crimson’s truck and it was the saddest thing ive had to draw ok. i am crying even remembering it ??????????more secret events this was yet another busy and traumatizing year for crimson????????????? -Months later, Crimson (age 23) has a conversation with her third mandragora heart, and ends up having a period sex masterbate-y fantasy that made many readers scream in terror when they read it.(Ch11)

Years 1450-1904 god so much stuff happens during this time, lays on the ground. i mean just fucking look at how much time that is. thats over 450 years lol nbd right

YEAR 1905 -Agent Knife is sent on a remote mission (back to Planet Dmtia) to hunt down one of thumbs most wanted criminals, a man named “SIMON MCGOLD” -After months of searching/failed attempts at locating him, Knife confronts and is stung by Simon’s close personal bodyguard, a queen worm named Nail who is famous for killing over 50,000 Hekatons. (Gaining him the nickname “Hekaton Hunter.” (CH12) -?????????? more stuff happens like you dont even know????????

Years 1906-1924 ??????????? lots of stuff??????? lets laugh at some spoon stuff together tho -Spoon thinks Knife is stupid but weirdly interesting i guess -Spoon tries to pretend hes not in love w/ knife cuz thats like??? g...ay??? -Spoon realizes he’s totally hot for Knife and decides hes gonna totally seduce him -Spoon realizes flirting isnt going well with knife and is actually rly deeply hurt by rejection and so he tries to sleep around w/ other ppl  to pretend hes fine cuz w/e!! who cares -Spoon realizes hes totally in love w/ Knife and is devastated by Deeply Gay emotions -Spoon moves in w/ Knife and spoon tries to pretend he is fine w/ just being Knife’s obsessively devotedly loyal but not romantic/sexual partner. just ttly... platonic.. best dude pals..!!! who murder together -Spoon realizes he cannot handle just being friends and attempts to move out cuz he just is having a meltdown -Knifes like chill we’re already dating and Spoon is like “wtf we are?” and knife’s like “why else would i let you move in w/ me” and spoon just stares at a wall for like 12 hrs in shock -They start to officially for real date™ after spoon regains contact with reality -???????stuff??????? -Spoon dresses up as AGENT BEE!!!!!!!!!!!! THE MOST IMPORTANT EVENT IN ALL OF HISTORY HANDS DOWN MARK UR CALENDARS 

YEAR 1925 July 8th - Simon (now Agent Spoon) has been in a relationship with Knife for 20 years. He meets Celadon #1. Location is the forests on the moon THUMB HQ. who is rightfully pissed as fuck at him. kick his ass, girl (she does btw) (ch11)

YEAR 1926 -Knife Adopts a tiny perfect adorable fluffball c-type and names him Kurt. -Spoon hates it like more than anything ever -Spoon and Knife end up having to live separately, causing a huge strain in their relationship.

Years 1927-1936 -feeling neglected, Spoon starts to sleep around, including the Crosshatch unit and becomes p close friends w/ them! its actually a positive thing for once. wtf (ch11) -Kurt becomes Agent Fork and works alongside Agent Knife on missions and its adorable and great but knife’s depression is also growing bc he misses spoon

YEAR 1937 Cash Leadman is born! :D

YEAR 1938 Rome Aiguille is born! he doesnt even hate worms at this point! Years 1939-1955 more stuff. ect. 

YEAR 1956 -Locket confronts Knife. Knife is so traumatized from meeting a surprise biological child that he has a meltdown and vanishes. he is then believed to have died. -Spoon Explodes from sadness of the news, but does not die. Half of him leaves to Cash Leadman’s house, who convinces him to keep living. He becomes “Scissor”, using her former crosshatch robot body. (ch11) -The other half meets Locket and has his Spoon stolen from him. very sads. Also cant wear thongs anymore (ch11)

YEAR 1957 -At some point during this year, Spoon kills Agent Rock’s dad and also prevents Fork from being able to enter Wibbleworld (his dream). (Scene in ch8) -Fork goes back to prison (guess what, it wasnt his first time goin’ there!) 

YEAR 1958-present -the death of rock’s hot dad springs a chain reaction of all his sons trying to kill spoon and getting revenge. Spoon successfully kills them all though lmfao. dont fuck with the leg.  -fork breaks up with dollop and she starts stalking him

YEAR 1961 -Dylan and Agent Knife meet in Wibbleworld moon, on July 8th (his birthday) He reveals secrets to her. (ch11) -Dylan/Celadon and Antony believe they are successful at killing Agent Knife on this same day.

YEAR 1962 -Feb 2 - Aeschylus wakes up in LEVEL K of the Crosshatch Colony (The Aiguille Moon) and is escorted by Antony Aiguille (Age 21) and Celadon #1, #2 and #3. Dylan and Barfy show up. (Ch 11) -Dylan tries to convince Antony not to get eaten (and fails) (ch12) -March - A mysterious earthquake and worm outbreak kills 20,000 residents in the Crosshatch Colony. O_O  -July 7th - Fork meets Dylan for the first time. :3 (Another serving episode one!) -July 8th: This is where the present timeline begins! Canary wakes up on a platform. Hooray! we made it. i dont feel like typing out the events u can just read the comic i guess lol. farts! 

YEAR 1963: Hasnt actually happened yet, but the final feast is said to occur this year!!!!!!! O_O ooo  EDIT: one of the events were out of order, but this has been fixed (8/19/2017) 

[downwithwritersblock]

I'm a 13 yr old bi writer in a very homophobic country. I wrote a couple of stories (personal+vent), and my dad wants to publish them. He is v v homophobic and my stories have many lgbtq+ characters (he hasn't actually read them yet.) I don't want to change my characters sexualities, but people over here get killed for being lgbtq+ or even supporting them. I wanna make it more subtle without actually erasing their sexuality, any advice? And can I just have some general writing advice as a minor?

I want to start off by saying that I am sorry. When I first started writing, I was just a bit younger then you are now, and I was about 15 when I first started realizing that I wasn’t straight. Now here I am, years later, a grown adult, and I am still too afraid to share my stories with my family, and I am even more afraid to come out to them. My circumstances arent any where near as harsh as yours. I live in California, in the U.S, and for the most part, we are pretty chill on the homophobia here, at least in my experience, and while my parents arent extremely homophobic, they still tend to look at LGBT+ very differently. I know the worse thing that could happen to me if I came out is that my parents start to look at me differently, but that still terrifies me, but If I am scared, I can’t possibly imagine what you are feeling. So I want to give you some pieces of advice that I wish people would have told me when I was your age.: 

1. Your writing is yours. You don’t have to show it to anyone, you don’t have to publish it, if you want to keep it to yourself, then that is fine. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. If your dad is persistent in wanting to get your writing published, find good reasons not to; Tell him they arent complete or that you arent finished with them (that’s what I tell my parents when they ask to read my story), tell him that you want to wait till you’re older when you have more experience and confidence and more possibilities. Make up whatever excuse you have to. If you don’t think you are safe to publish them, then don’t. It’s not worth your life. Nothing is worth your life. 

2. If you really do want to tone down the LGBT+ themes in your writing, it’s easy; First, avoid all romantic relationships. That’s the dead giveaway, try not imply anything either, leave it at friendship, or up to reader interpretation, and if anyone asks, you could tell them it’s just a friendship. Don ‘t explicitly say anyone is a member of the LBGT+ community, you can imply it, if you have a bi female character, and you want to calmly express that she is bi, let her check out another female. If anyone asks, chalk it up to her admiring another girl, or that she’s jealous of other girls beauty or something. I’ve used this one a few times as well. Leave everything kind of vague, don’t get too specific. Make everything so it could be LGBT+ rep if looked at a certain way, but to most, it would just be friendship, or closeness, or something. I often find that while it’s disgusting and harmful at times, heteronormativity can also be lifesaving. Most straight people will automatically assume things are straight until given too many clues to say otherwise. Use that to your advantage. 

3. Writing is hard. When I was 13, I thought writing was going to be this easy thing, I thought you just made up characters and scribbled out a little story about them. I had no idea how hard writing actually was, and it shows. If I go back to look at my writing from that time, it shows how little work I actually put in. Give writing all you’ve got. Take your time with it. Build your characters and your world and your plot as much as you can. Save all the resources you can find. People make writing out to be easy but it’s not, and you can’t let that derail you. Keep going. Take it as a challenge. Keep writing no matter how hard it gets. 

4. Don’t let anyone tell you that you cant. I don’t care who it is, or what reasons they have to tell you that you shouldn’t write, do not listen to them. When I was a little kid, I used to sing all the time, I loved to sing, and everyone encouraged me to do so because I was a kid and it made me happy. My parents even thought about sending me to singing classes. Then one day my big sister told me that I wasnt as good as everyone said I was, that they only said that so they wouldnt hurt my feelings. After that, I lost all confidence in singing. I never took those classes, I never felt comfortable singing in front of people. It was years before I sang in the car with my own mother without feeling uncomfortable, and it’s still bad. I have a full mental breakdown if I try to sing in front of people without lyrics to sing along to, and being a theater student, that meant musical season kicked my ass every year. I know that was a long, unnecessary story, but my point is, people, no matter who it is, are going to tell you stupid things. They could mean to bring you down, and it could just be an off-hand comment, but you can not let it get to you. Take everything as a challenge. If anyone ever doubts you, prove them wrong. Never stop doing something you love, just because of something someone says to you. 

5. You’re young. You have a lot to learn. Don’t deny that. No, I am not calling you stupid, the opposite actually. When I was your age, I thought I was so damn smart for my age, I thought I knew everything, I thought I was above what people could teach me. That was stupid. I wish I had reached out to people. I wish I had asked people for help, for advice, for guidance. I wish I had the confidence to ask people for help when I needed it, but I never did. You did. You had enough confidence to come into my inbox and ask me for help. Keep that confidence. Find people you can trust, make friends in the writing community, find mentors. You might think you don’t need one, but trust me, growing up in the writing world, you will find a lot of moments you are going to wish you had someone you could easily reach out to for help. You are not stupid, don’t let anyone tell you are, especially because of your age. But avoid the mistake that I made, and realize that you are naive, and that you do have a lot to learn. Writing is an ever evolving trade. No one is a master in writing, thinking that you are is only going to mess you up, and ruin your confidence later on, and weaken your ability to learn and grow later on. Trust me, I know. 

6. Don’t cater to anyone. Do not write what other people want you to write. Write what makes you happy. Write for yourself first, other people later. Write the story you want to see in the world. Write something you would want to read. I guarantee you if you would like to see that story, then so would other people. I spent a  long time trying to write what I thought people would like to see me write, and that resulted in me not liking my own stories. I hated my own stories, I was bored with my own stuff, because I wasnt writing what I liked to write. 

7. Practice! Practice! Practice! The best way to grow in writing, just like with any other art form, is to practice. Find writing exercises, keep journals, play with prompts, Make short stories, try poetry, try song lyrics, Just write. 

8. It wouldnt kill you to read a book. Read books of every genre, read poetry, read plays, read novels and autobiographies. Read. Reading can help inspire you, and can help give you basic writing guidelines, and it could help you find your style. The kind of books you like to read? Guess what? That’s the kind of writing you should be doing. If you love mystery novels? Guess what you’ll have loads of fun doing? Hate romance novels? You know the kind of genre to avoid trying to write then. Dyeing for a good horror fantasy book? Write it yourself. (Also, side tip: Your favorite books? Get two copies if you can. For many of my favorite stories, I have two copies if I had the opportunity. Why? Annotation of course. I break them down. Like a puzzle, find what I like about them. What I don’t like. What works. What makes them so good to me. It adds fuel to my fire.) 

9.  This isnt completely about writing, but it is something I wish someone had told me: Your life is so valuable. I know you said people in your country can be killed for being or supporting LGBT+ so I just want to remind you to be careful. Don’t do anything that could put your life at risk, please. I struggled a lot at your age, for many different reasons. I wish someone had told me that my life was valuable. That my future is worth living for. Hell I wish I had someone to tell me that now. Look, the future is a wild thing, and you never know what it has in store for you, but I promise you, it’s worth finding out. I promise you that If you want it to, and if you try hard enough, the future can be a great place. You just gotta fight for it. You gotta fight to see it. I don’t know if that’s something you are struggling with, but just in case you are, or just in case someone tries to convince you that publishing your stories the way they are would be worth it, I need to say that: Do not do anything that could get you hurt. Do not risk it. Save them, save your stories for a time in your life when you can publish them they way they are meant to be. You’ve got a long life ahead of you, and you’ve got a lot more stories to write. Don’t let anyone or anything keep you from that. 

I really hope that helps, and I wish you the best of luck with everything. If you ever need anything else at all, please don’t hesitate to ask me. My inbox is always open!