#the onceler is the fucking poster child for tumblr sexyman.....

[poorlittlevampire]

whole poll is invalid already lol

[marysunshine23]

The "Tumblr Sexyman" Formula - It's Not What You Think

I know it sounds click-baity but hear me out.

Noun Tumblr sexyman (plural Tumblr sexymen) (fandom slang) A male fictional character (often conventionally unattractive or non-human) with a particularly devoted fanbase on Tumblr.

So, what makes a Tumblr sexyman? Is it the suit? Is it the height? Is it the face?

Nope.

TL;DR - It's confidence and sass.

Some people might be confused. Think of any tumblr sexyman and why you might like him. And you don't have to think about it very hard. So I'm gonna break down the ones I know/know enough about.

The Onceler

Ah, yes, the one who started it all; The Onceler. With his boyish face, his hipster fashion, his guitar, and his thirst for fame, he was an unintentionally sexy guy. Dreamworks did not plan this. At all. So what about this gangly, clumsy, people-pleasing, one-hit-wonder of a man child is attractive? Well, first and foremost, he makes it clear that he is confident that he has a good idea and that it can be accomplished. He has a plan, he knows how to execute it, he just needs some attention. And when people give him flack for this "stupid idea", he rolls his eyes and makes a snide remark. He's not afraid to tell people where to shove it (except his family, but that's an abusive relationship for you.)

It just so happens that he's got a boyish face and a nice sense of style. But what makes him attractive is his confidence and sass. Next!

Bill Cipher

Now how can a literal animate symbol of the illuminaty be sexy? Well, he's basically a God, so of course he's confident that if the stars align in his favor, he can do whatever the fuck he wants. And when he's underestimated, he's got loads of backhanded compliments and off-handed remarks to make people feel dumb. Confidence and sass.

Sans

Now we have the man, or rather skeleton, that broke the suit rule; Sans. Talk to this guy for more than five minutes and you see he basically lives and breathes sass. And whenever you start getting violent, he makes sure you know that he is a threat. He doesn't even have to do much to show that despite only having 1 HP, you do not want to cross this little skelly-man. Between the jokes and passive-aggressive warnings to deter you from hurting Papyrus, there's no doubt that Sans is full of sass and confidence.

Komaeda Nagito

Komaeda Nagito; love him or hate him, he's almost the poster child of tumblr sexymen. His sass and confidence are so apparent that it becomes annoying despite the confidence not necessarily being within himself. His confidence in his luck and hope drive him to be the most loved, hated, and feared character in the Danganronpa series. His sass often comes in the form of backhanded comments that he "doesn't realize" aren't compliments. Not to mention the fact that despite his attitude and self-deprecating talk, everyone knows he's a threat. Sass and confidence in it's most unusual form.

Alastor

Alastor, one of the revivals of the suit and tie schtick. There's no question of his confidence; when one is an overlord, you can't help but exude it. Not to mention the fact that he doesn't even attempt to be subtle about his sass like some of the other men in this post. If he thinks something is stupid, he'll tell you in the most eloquent and flavorful way he can; all while avoiding profanities. There's no doubt that he is basically a copy-paste example of the traditional sassy and confident sexyman.

Angel Dust

I know my previous example was from Hazbin but there's a reason that Angel Dust is here. Angel is an example of a sexyman who leans into a femboy. Angel is known for wearing the stereotypical suit top in a way that makes him appear to have breasts. He forgoes the suit pants for a mini-skirt and sexyboots, and often wears drag. He's sexy and he knows it. He's the gay friend girls wish they could date, he's the gay friend that will tell that creep at the bar to fuck off and leave you alone, and he's 100% the gay friend you make out with when you're drunk. Angel Dust isn't just a tumblr sexyman, he's what women love about gay men. And that comes with a boat load of sass and confidence.

Jax

The latest entry into the tumblr sexyman gallery, Jax from The Amazing Digital Circus. Next to Nagito and Bill, Jax might be one of the meaner sexymen. He not only cares what others think, he doesn't care much about other people's emotional or physical well-being; and he's vocal about it through snide remarks and backhanded compliments. He is who he is and that isn't about to change. And he brings in that tall and skinny stereotype. Though it might become a stereotype that Michael Kovach needs to voice them as well; because like Angel Dust, Michael sells that confidence and sass.

Conclusion

Tumblr Sexymen aren't necessarily sexy for their appearance, the definition even states that very often they're not conventionally attractive. What we're attracted to is someone who is confident enough to tell people off and sassy enough to do it in a way that is funny. Humans find confidence attractive, and we often will overlook appearance if someone is funny enough. Sass is playful, and it makes us feel at ease. These sexymen are confident enough to develop power, but playful enough to not feel like an immediate threat. None of the tumblr sexymen are the type of guy you'd run into on the street; some of them are charismatic, some of them are kinda dorky, but all of them are people you'd want on your side during a fight. If they care about you, they'll stand up for you and be able to knock down the opponent a couple pegs.