#the office fell off for me once jim and pam got together but i am LOVING this show so far

[gossippool]

i just finished season 3 of superstore and i swear i have never been so invested in a relationship in my life why are they edging me

[heartbreakgrill]

Found Me a Lover; Calum Hood

a/n: literally nothing special, but I was feeling fluffy. 18th Valentine’s Day alone 😃

description: you and your man celebrate

You scrolled through Instagram, liking and commenting hearts on your friends Valentine’s Day posts. You skipped past random celebrities you followed because it would be slightly weird if you would comment heart on their posts. Occasionally, you’d repost someone’s adorable couple photo on your story for your followers to also gush over.

Duke lay happily on your thighs, head tucked into your elbow as your fingers lazily pulled through his fur. The television played the LA morning news, reciting some stories of homicides, house fires, and the occasional, heart warming love story. You shut off your phone and stared at the tv. You were barely paying attention, still tired from just having woke up.

You heard footsteps traveling down the hallway and peaked around the back of the couch. Calum, hood up and sweatpants lazily hanging off his hips, shuffled into the kitchen. You heard him pouring a glass of coffee before he rounded the wall and came in by the tv stand. You smiled at him, affection ready to ooze from your tongue.

He plopped onto the couch beside you, tossing his arm around your shoulder. A wet, fat kiss landed on your cheek, his breath smelling of coffee and sleep. Duke abandoned you for his dad, who made baby noises at him. You snuggled into his neck, “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Calum recited the corny, capitalistic holiday slogan. “How long ya been up?”

You shrugged, “About ten minutes. Didn’t want to wake you.”

“As per usual,” he snickered. You simply tossed a smile in his direction before comfortable silence became you.

After a little bit, you stood up to go get ready. You didn’t do much, just washed your face and brushed your teeth and changed your sleeping pants to your lounging pants. Quarantine intruded on having any actual plans for Valentine’s Day, so you were planning on just doing what you normally did: Lay around.

Calum followed along not far behind you, rejoining you on the couch with a glass of water and a poptart. He held out the pastry to you and you snapped off your preserved half. You gave Duke a small nibble.

Calum swallowed, “Hey, I know we can’t do much. But, what if we just got dressed up?”

“Miss seeing me in a dress, huh?” You teased.

He winked at you, “Just a little.”

“Yeah, we can do that. Did you have plans for dinner?”

“Just figured we could order in,” Calum nodded.

Your two love languages weren’t acts of service, just quality time together. So, most Valentine’s Days were spent together, at home, sometimes with fancy dinners at night. You’d exchange gifts, but never did too much.

“Sounds good. It’s not too chilly, so maybe we could sit outside and turn on the fairy lights and stuff,” you recommended. He nodded.

Another thing about the two of you was that neither of you enjoyed surprises. You always planned. You knew already that he would be proposing, and you knew it wasn’t going to be in public. Hell, you were already technically engaged, he just hadn’t given you a ring. You knew you’d be getting married in the summer. You knew that, for your birthday next week, he’d be taking you up to San Francisco for a picnic by the bridge. Planning made you both feel safe.

Calum nodded. You lay on the couch for the rest of the day. At one point, Calum left you to go workout, then he showered, and moved to his music room. You joined him there, sitting on the mini couch with Duke as his dad worked on a song he would pitch to the band. You showered after a bit and then started getting ready.

Calum came into the bedroom while you were in the middle of putting on foundation. He smiled at you through the mirror of your vanity, making you blush. You went back to blending your makeup as he found an outfit. Calum connected to the speakers in your room and shuffled the playlist the two of you shared on Spotify: “You are everything.”

It was formed not long after you started dating, but titled six months into your relationship. You had started binge-watching The Office together, and in one Jim and Pam’s final scenes, Jim says, “Not enough for me? You are everything.” Naturally, you titled it as such.

Soon enough, you were done with your makeup. Calum had since propped up against the headboard, playing on his phone and sometimes glancing at you. When you passed him, your song came on. You had never really had one, but a few months ago, you had watched a TikTok edit of Calum and a song talking about someone who plays the bass. You showed it to Calum, who fell in love with the premise of the song, and wouldn’t stop playing it. Everytime he did, he’d drop whatever he was do it and pull you close, rocking to the beat.

You stopped in your tracks and turned to your boyfriend. He raised his eyebrows cheekily at you, reaching out a hand. You pulled him off the bed, hands finding their place on his shoulders. He grabbed your waist.

“And then I found me a lover who could play the bass, he’s kinda quiet, but his body ain’t.”

You giggled as Calum spun you around quickly. He pulled you back into his chest, dipping you to the floor. Your hair whipped in his face, and he nearly ate a chunk. He spit it out, his expression hilarious. Laughter rang from the two of you, as your bodies parted slightly. He held your hand and you began jumping to the best of the chorus.

Once the song finished, Calum pulled you into his chest. You kissed him gently, fingers gracing the bottom of his jaw. He spun you away towards the closet, emitting laughter. You found your red dress, the one you had planned on wearing to their album’s release party. He’d seen it before, since you’d put on numerous “I’m bored, I need something to do,” fashion shows.

Still, though, when you walked out of the closet, barefoot and casual, Calum grinned widely. “I am literally so head over heels for you. Like, if you asked me to go to kill Luke, I might consider it.”

“Do it, I wanna date Sierra,” you challenged.

“Oh, no, you don’t,” Calum tsked, enveloping you in his arms. “Let’s go eat.”

“Oh did you order already?”

“Yeah, I think it just came in,” Calum’s hand slid down to your fingers, grasping them between his. He led you to the front door, where your food was on the porch.

You helped him pick up everything and set it up on the patio table. The pool glistened under the glow of the string lights, a warm breeze blowing ripples through the liquid. You moved your chair next to your boy, sitting criss-cross, though you were in a dress. Calum looked over at you, a bright smile caressing his cheeks and lips. You swept his hand into yours, and though it slowed your eating, you didn’t care.

It wasn’t anything special, but it was enough.

Tag List: @mantlereid @boxofteenageideas @dinosaursandsocks, @ashhdaniellee95 @stephaniemelvie @zhangyixingxing1 @verlaneswiftie13

[rainy-day-gracie]

Refuge

Spencer Reid x Reader

Hello! This kinda took a while to write but I’m proud of the final draft :)

Reader is in an abusive relationship and starts an affair with Spencer. (Loosely based on Jim and Pam from The Office)

Warnings: domestic abuse, implied smut, mild language

Just a lot of fluff and angst:))

__

One look at my face in the office, and Spencer could tell something was wrong. He didn’t ask me right away, but during lunch he pulled me aside gently. 

“What’s going on with you?”

I desperately tried to keep tears back. “It’s Landon… he’s drinking again. He hasn’t hit me, but I’m just afraid if he keeps drinking he will. Last night I tried to talk to him about it… he just screamed at me and passed out on the couch.”

Spencer furrowed his eyebrows and pulled me into an unexpected hug. “I’m sorry you have to go through that, YFN. I’m always going to be here for you if you want to talk.” 

I sniffled into his shoulder. “We’ve been engaged for two years, and he keeps dodging the conversation of setting a wedding date… I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled away to check. 

Hey babe I’m sorry about last night. Could we talk about it at dinner later? 

Spencer saw my phone and gave me a smile. “See, he wants to work through things. It’ll be okay.”

I smiled back at him and tried not to dwell on the tinge of sadness I saw in his eyes.

__

A few weeks had passed since my conversation with Spencer, and things with Landon hadn’t gotten any better. 

“You bitch! My drinking is my choice! Why do you control everything I do?” The beer bottle smashed against the cabinet near my head, and I flinched away from him. 

“Please, stop. You’re scaring me.” Tears bit the corners of my eyes, and Landon calmed down. 

“Oh babe, I’m so sorry. Please stay.” 

It came to the point where I had no idea what to do, and I was constantly afraid of saying the wrong thing around him. 

Spencer could tell, hell, everyone probably could tell. But he didn’t say anything for a while, and I appreciated that. 

Every so often we all go to Rossi’s for a nice dinner, and Landon refused to come with me. 

“Why do you always choose them over me?” Landon asked as I was getting ready. The classy dark green dress I was wearing hugged my figure, and he grabbed my hips and spun me around to face him. “I just wanna stay in with you. Have a few drinks, spend some time together?” 

I pulled away from him and smiled nervously. “I rarely have a night out with the team, I’ll be back before midnight.”

His easy smile faded and he left the bathroom fuming. “You better be.” 

__

The team sat in Rossi’s backyard, laughing and drinking and having a great time. I sat next to Spencer, who spoke on and on about anything and everything. 

Emily put her hand on my shoulder, smiling. “You look absolutely gorgeous tonight. Where’s your fiance?”

I tried to not let my smile falter. “Um… he’s not feeling too well.”

Spencer cast me a glance, but didn’t say anything. “We would love to meet him sometime, YFN.” For some reason, his voice sounded almost sad. Maybe it was just in my head. 

The night stretched on, and we all went onto the makeshift dance floor Rossi keeps in his backyard. I stayed on the side, watching and laughing as Derek and Penelope broke out some scandalous dance moves. I felt a presence next to me, and Spencer cleared his throat. 

“How’s Landon?” 

Only constantly drinking, angry and full of hatred. “It’s… rough. At home. Landon’s been having a tough time at work, and feels the need to take the edge off when he gets home. It’s been happening more and more over the past few weeks. But once things settle down at his work it’ll be okay.”

Spencer didn’t look too convinced. “I just want you to be okay. Just… remember you can always talk to me, alright?”

I looked him in the eyes. He was genuinely concerned about my well being, and for some reason that touched me in a way that made my heart flutter. A kind of feeling I haven’t felt in a long time. “Thank you. That really means a lot, Spencer.”

He smiled. That damn beautiful smile. “Um, do you wanna dance?” 

I lifted my head, slightly confused. “What?”

Spencer looked out into the crowd of our team, dancing away happily. “Well, everyone is dancing, so maybe we should too?” 

I smiled shyly. “Yeah, sure. Let’s dance.”

The tune turned into a slower song, and Spencer rested a hand on my waist and held my hand against his chest. I placed my other hand on his shoulder, and rested my head against his heartbeat.  We swayed softly, and I timed my steps to the beat of his heart. I could feel him smiling as he looked down by my shoulder. 

“What’re you smiling about, Spencer?” I asked softly. 

“You look beautiful. You always look beautiful.”

I smiled to myself, and couldn’t help the thought that came to me. 

I can’t remember the last time Landon said I looked beautiful.

__ 

Landon was going to be pissed. I pulled into our driveway just before 2 AM, and I had called him at 11 to let him know I was going to be late. 

My heart dropped to my stomach when I saw him, hammered and fuming, sitting at our kitchen table. He didn’t say a word as he slammed his beer bottle on the ground and shoved me into the closed front door. 

“Do I mean nothing to you! I deserve better than a lying bitch that blows me off for her coworkers!” 

His nose was touching mine and the scent of alcohol on his breath was nearly suffocating. “Landon, get off me so we can talk about this!”

“Oh, now you wanna talk? You didn’t wanna talk when you called me to say that you would be late!” His rough hands gripped my shoulders, and after a moment he slammed his knuckles against my cheek. I shrieked as he punched me in the stomach and kicked me to the ground while I was off balance. 

I couldn’t remember the number of times he kicked me, but the first chance I got, I was running into my car and started driving. 

After a while, I ended up at Spencer’s apartment. I knocked on the door weakly, and he answered in his PJs, looking very confused. “YFN…” he trailed off when he saw my swollen eye. 

He let me change out of my dress and gave me one of his CalTech sweatshirts and old sweatpants. When I came out of the bathroom I saw that he had a bag of ice sitting on his kitchen counter next to a bowl of ice cream. Spencer was looking through his many shelves of books, seeming to search for one. 

“What are you doing?” My voice was soft, like I was afraid Landon would hear if I spoke too loud. 

“One time you mentioned that you liked Harry Potter, and I know I have it on my shelf somewhere… Aha!” He walked over to me with a very worn copy of the first Harry Potter book in his hand. A tear fell down my cheek and I smiled up at him, and he blushed. “Reading always helps me escape.”

“Thank you.” My lip quivered, and more tears fell down my cheeks. “I don’t know what I would do without you, Spencer.”

At that moment, he looked so sweet and loving. The complete opposite of Landon. Messy brown hair, a cut glass jawline, and the kindest eyes I’ve ever seen. 

I kissed him. It was quick, and impulsive, and stupid. 

But it felt good. 

When I pulled away, Spencer seemed to be in a daze. I immediately tried to backtrack. “I’m so sorry, I don’t-’’

When he kissed me again, it didn’t feel stupid anymore. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and his hands moved to my ribs, which had already started to bruise. When I whimpered, he pulled away instantly. 

He took a step back, looking at me questioningly. “I thought he just hit you. What else did he do?” 

I gulped. “He shoved me into the wall and knocked me down. Um, he kicked me… a lot.”

Spencer looked sad, but there was something else. He was angry, angry that someone hurt me. “Are you really going to marry him?”

My answer came to my lips and didn’t even have to think. “No.”

Spencer just looked at me, extremely relieved. “Good.”

He kissed me again, with a hunger I had never seen from him before. I realized I was kissing him with the same hunger, like I had been deprived of a needed sustenance. 

In that moment, I realized that I wasn’t kissing him because Landon hit me. I was kissing him because I love Spencer more than I ever loved Landon. Spencer knew me better than anyone, he knew my fears, he knew my strengths, he knew the big things and the little things. And I knew the same things about him. 

“Do you want to-” 

“Yes.” I answered without hesitation. 

Spencer Reid was my refuge.

__

I didn’t go back home after that. 

The next few days at work were quiet and relatively uneventful. I had decided to let Landon cool off before going to break off the engagement. 

What I didn’t think would happen was him walking into the BAU with a gun and a temper. 

The second he pulled the gun out, the team immediately aimed every weapon we had at him. 

“YFN! You’re coming with me, let’s go!” He didn’t raise the gun in his hand, so we had no reason to shoot… yet. 

Spencer answered before I did. “No she’s not. She’s never going home with you again, Landon.”

Landon glared at Spencer. “What do you know, you son of a bitch?”

Spencer’s lips curled ever so slightly, a devilish look coming to him. “Where do you think she would go all those lonely nights you were drunk?”

I saw what he was doing, and I hated him for it. Spencer was taking Landon’s attention off of me, trying to get Landon to point the gun at him. I shot Spencer a warning look, but he didn’t pay attention. 

A look of angry confusion crossed Landon’s face. “What the hell are you talking about?” 

Spencer huffed a laugh, never once lowering his weapon. “She told me all about your inability to perform. I thought I would show her… in my kitchen, in my car, in my bed.” 

None of this was true, at least not the kitchen or car part, but I couldn’t help but admire Spencer for putting himself on the line. At the same time I was terrified of what would happen if Landon raised that gun. 

Landon was fuming, his face turning red. “You shut up!” 

Spencer continued, a hint of a smile on his face. “She told me she’s never screamed so loud for anyone else.”

“I said shut up!” Landon raised the gun ever so slightly, and I didn’t hesitate to put a bullet in his shoulder. Morgan cuffed the pathetic excuse of a man cussing and shouting on the floor of the BAU. 

Spencer’s arms came and wrapped around my shoulders, and I hugged him back in a daze. 

“Holy shit.”

Spencer laughed into my shoulder. “I know. You’re okay.”

I pulled away and cupped his cheeks with my hands. “Thank you.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “For what? I was just trying to protect you.”

I smiled, tears in my eyes. “Thank you for always being my refuge, Spencer.”

[winchesterandpie]

The Office (Dean Winchester x Reader

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 1328

Warnings: None

A/N: Just a little short thing I whipped up! I’ve recently gotten into the Office (it’s soooo good!!!) and finally got to the part where Jim proposes to Pam, and I couldn’t resist writing this. It hasn’t been proofread, so sorry about that - hopefully it isn’t too bad. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!! Feedback is welcomed. As always, GIFs aren’t mine, nor is the Office.

“We sure showed those vamps who’s boss!” I crowed triumphantly, hopping out of Baby to do a little victory dance. Looking up, I caught Dean looking at me with a soft smile on his face. “See somethin’ you like, Winchester?” I asked, sidling up to him and slipping my arms around him.

“I think I do, Y/L/N.” His warm, green eyes gazed down at me, and soon enough he was leaning down to kiss me. “Ew, guys! I’m right here!” Sammy scrunched up his face, turning away quickly and Dean pulled back with a chuckle.

“Alright, alright. We’ll spare the five year old,” he said as he slung both our bags over his shoulder before I could pick mine out of the trunk.

“Thanks, sunshine.” I grinned up at him as we set off toward our room.

“Anything for you, darlin’,” he returned. “Just so long as you keep smiling at me like that.” His flirting only made my smile grow wider as I felt a slight blush creep up my neck.

We speedily unpacked once we reached our room, and changing into comfy clothes wasn’t far behind. The fast food burgers were set on the nightstand beside the bed as we got settled in for a Netflix marathon.

“Preferences for what to watch, sweetheart?” Dean handed me the remote dramatically. Of course, I had to gasp dramatically at the ‘grandeur’ of his gesture before accepting the great responsibility.

“Hmmm, how about the Office? I started watching it a bit ago, but I’ve only been able to slip in episodes here and there… It looks like we’ve got a break in cases for the foreseeable future and I was hoping to get ahead,” I suggested, and Dean nodded easily so I quickly pulled it up and started the next episode.

“I’m an early bird, and a night owl,” Michael started, “so I’m wise and I have worms.” “I was wondering what you’d been laughing at so much the past few days,” Dean said with a snort. “Now I know.” We pulled pulled out the food, totally ready to binge the show. As the familiar music began to play, I snuggled into Dean’s side with a contented sigh. He rested his arm across my shoulders and pulled me closer, pressing a kiss to the top of my head before returning to his food.

*a little while later*

“Aaah! Jim! Just tell her!!” I couldn’t believe that Jim still wasn’t telling Pam he was in love with her when it was so obvious. Though, to be fair, Dean had been much the same way before we had started dating 2 years ago.

“They cleARLY like each other!” Dean was just as animated about their relationship as I was, and I was so glad that he was getting into the show. What worried me was the gears that seemed to be turning in his mind every time Jim and Pam pulled a new prank on Dwight. I sincerely hoped that I would be Pam and not Dwight in terms of any pranks Dean decided to pull. Poor Sammy. “I’m just glad that I am not in that situation any more.”

“What do you mean?” The sudden change of subject threw me off.

“Well, I already told the girl of my dreams that I’m in love with her, so I made it past the pining stage,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You’re such a sap,” I managed to get out through giggles. “I love you too, y’know.”

“Hey, who said you were the girl of my dreams? I meant the girl at the grocery store who gives me discounts on pie!” My mouth dropped open in shock and I shoved Dean’s chest.

“Fine then, why don’t you have an Office marathon with her?” I pretended to indignantly rise from the bed, moving as though I were going to leave.

“Now, don’t be hasty there, sweetheart.” His grin made me weak in the knees as he moved to block the door with his hands ever approaching my sides. I was right to be suspicious when his hands made contact, immediately starting to tickle me as I laughed helplessly in his grasp.

“Let me…. go… Dean! I can’t….. stand in the way….. of... true love!” I gasped out, barely able to catch my breath as I fell back onto the bed with Dean on top of me. He shone brighter than the sun when he finally stopped tickling me, leaning down until our noses brushed together.

“Mmm, but who says this isn’t true love?” His eyes contained a playful spark.

“I’ve always thought you and pie were relationship goals, to be honest,” I couldn’t resist.

“Yeah, you’re right. I guess I’d better go get some pie. Can’t leave my true love to languish in the fridge alone and cold.” He started to get up, but when my hands bunched in his shirt to keep him from moving he didn’t resist in the slightest. Nor did he complain when I pulled him down into a soft kiss. “Love you, Y/N,” he breathed into the kiss, barely separating enough to sound the words.

“Did I want to harm Michael? The one man I’ve been hired to protect?” Dwight’s voice broke us from the moment, and we quickly got situated to keep watching in unspoken agreement.

*Several hours later*

“Hey! This is not half-way! I did the math. I had to drive way longer than you! Montclair would have been closer, so you have to buy lunch,” Pam said as they stood in the pouring rain outside the gas station. Jim seemed to take no notice as he got down on one knee. “What are you doing?”

“I just… can’t wait,” Jim shook his head minutely as he opened the small box.

“Oh my god!” Pam’s shock and surprise turned into a wide smile as she moved to cover her mouth.

“Pam, will you marry me?”

“Oh my--” her speechlessness was affecting me and I grabbed and squeezed Dean’s hand, unable to believe that after 4 whole seasons Jim was finally proposing to Pam. He seemed just as excited about it as I was.

“So?” Jim asked with a giant, puppy grin, even though everyone knew the answer. “Yes!” Pam nodded emphatically, and I couldn’t hold back the small squeal of joy as I looked on the relationship I’d been waiting on since episode one. Jim had finally proposed! I turned to look at Dean, who was being unnaturally quiet.

“Hey, you alright?” I scanned his face, worried that something was wrong.

“Never been better,” he said hoarsely. “In fact,” he added, sliding off the side of the bed and pulling me to sit on the edge, “I can’t wait any longer either.” I was confused for a moment before I realized that he was on one knee, pulling a small, velvet box from his bedside table. My hand flew to my mouth as I stared at him wide-eyed.

“Y/N, I think I’ve waited long enough to ask this question, because we both know that there’s no one I’d rather have at my side. Not even the lady who gives me discount pies.” We both grinned at that. “Y/N, my sweetheart, my princess, the love of my life… will you marry me?” The question was finally out in the open, and I couldn’t stop the few tears of joy that leaked out.

“Yes! Yes, a thousand times yes!” I breathed after a long moment of trying to make my voice work. Letting out a breathless laugh, he stood and wrapped an arm around me, his other hand on the back of my head holding me closer. We kissed eagerly, his soft lips on mine igniting sparks that no one else had ever elicited from me. Both of us were grinning into the kiss, unable to restrain our joy at this moment that had finally come.

He was mine, and I was his.

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[howl-moon-blog]

Sacrificial Love

Eric knew it was love from the moment he laid eyes on the goddess that was Jamie Meyers. She was nice to him at first, but he crossed a solid line into annoying; he knew it, he just couldn’t help himself. She had already rejected him, so he fell contentedly into an admittedly strained friendship. Strained because he was a puppy, following after his favorite and tripping over himself to fulfill her every whim just for a glimpse of smile. But really, her eyerolls also made his heart flutter.    Eric didn’t understand why, but he was the only one who felt that way, Jamie had no other admirers. She wasn’t even popular and everyone but a select few tended to ignore her or whisper rumors behind their hands about her. She didn’t care at all, and she near always had snappy retorts which made him giggle all over again when he remembered them while trying to fall asleep at night. Logically he knew she was just an average high school girl, and that it was all just so... normal, but his feelings dominated him and he kept inserting himself in her life and kept defending her when she wasn’t around to do so. He couldn’t help it, he was a man (boy) in love. And then... then it finally happened, what he had wanted so badly, what he tried to stop himself from hoping for; she asked him out.    The bell shrieked through the hall and students began pouring out of classrooms, making the previously empty space unbreathably crowded. Eric pushed through, attempting to part his peers like the Red Sea. He needed to hurry to his locker and get his bag packed if he wanted to have one last five second conversation with Jamie before she hopped on the bus home. Everyone else, including him, had their licenses, but her dad hadn’t been able to afford Driver’s Ed. She said she didn’t care, she didn’t ever want to be behind the wheel of a two ton death machine. He could definitely see her point.    Eric was infinitely surprised and even more happy to see Jamie waiting for him at his locker. He nearly tripped over his own feet when she turned to look at him, tucking a lock of straightened, dyed black hair behind her ear. She hadn’t gotten her hair cut in two years and it hung in a shiny curtain to the middle of her back. His heart pounded loud and hard in his chest, confirming for the ten millionth time how in love he was; he was certain they were soulmates like Pam and Jim from The Office.    “Hey, Jamie, what’s up?” He would have been able to play it cool if his voice hadn’t picked that exact moment to crack. He winced instinctively, hoping and praying she wouldn’t just say never mind and walk away.    “Um...” Jamie looked down at her scuffed black boots and shuffled almost shyly. “Can... can I get a ride?” He nearly fainted when she looked up at him with a look that could almost include the words puppy and dog in the description.    “Y-yeah! Absolutely!” He was positively giddy and was ninety-eight percent sure he was blushing. “Riding the bus sucks.” He thought it was just a ride home until she dropped the best kind of bombshell on him.    “Actually, I was thinking we could go for coffee or something... like... like a date... or something.” She smiled a little bit and Eric’s heart and also physical body became a puddle. It was a monumental effort not to whoop and jump for joy.    “Yes! Yes! I would love... we can absolutely... yes, yeah.” Eric nodded, his face hurting from smiling so hard and so wide. “Let me just...” He sprang into action, spinning the dial of the lock on his locker, his fingers slipping, missing numbers and generally fumbling in his excited haste. He heard Jamie giggle lightly beside him and shot her a sheepish grin. He took a deep breath, calming himself enough to try again and actually succeed in opening his locker. He threw his books in his bag, hardly paying attention to what he was grabbing. Once he felt like he had everything he slammed his locker shut and spun the dial. “Shall we?”    “I need to go get my stuff, too.” For the first time in a long time she seemed more amused than annoyed. Eric followed after her, feeling like he was floating, not walking. He was the luckiest guy in the universe, he was sure of it. He was going to be the best date ever and Jamie would fall head over heels, and they would start dating seriously and get married straight out of high school, go to college together and live perfect, happy lives. Yeah, that was how it would go, he was sure of it.    He stayed in his daydream, floating after Jamie through the halls to the parking lot, her leading him to his own car. He didn’t snap out if it until she pointedly cleared her throat and tugged on the door handle of his giant black jeep.    “Sorry,” Eric chuckled nervously and unlocked the doors, tossing his backpack into the back seat before climbing up behind the wheel. “I swear I am a cautious driver,” he said as she climbed up next to him, closing her door and holding on with white knuckles. She had never ridden in a car with him though, so he couldn’t just say it, he had to prove it. He adjusted his grip on the wheel, bringing himself to focus. He started the car, slowing his heartbeat as he shifted into reverse and pulled out of his parking space. They were on their way, and he proved himself a careful driver. By the time they got to Biggby, her grip had loosened and she didn’t look quite so ready to hit the ejector button.    He began to lead the way to the door, but halted the instant Jamie tugged lightly on the sleeve of his jacket. He turned slowly to view the serious look on her face, the determination with just a slight hint of nerves.     “I want you to know I don’t have a lot of money, but that doesn’t mean you have to pay for me.” Now, more than ever, Jamie reminded him of the tsundere archetype in anime. She could be that way sometimes, acting tough and uncaring while really she just felt vulnerable.    “Okay, that’s not a problem.” Eric just nodded, shrugging it off. It was really no big deal, if she wanted to pay for herself, she could. “I wasn’t planning on forcing my money on you,” he said with humor and a small smile. His folks were well off and denied him nothing, but he still had insisted on getting a job, so he knew exactly how she was feeling.    With that said, Jamie pushed lightly past him and headed into the coffee shop. They were both glad to see there wasn’t much of a line, and they moved to the front quickly. But while they were shuffling in the queue, Eric very nearly blew it.    “Hey, I’m kinda hungry. I was thinking of getting a few cake pops to share. What do you think?” Eric thought it was an innocent enough question until Jamie gave him a look that nearly sent him to the grave prematurely. “Wh-what?”    “I told you, you don’t have to pay for me. My God, are you really that... ugh.” Jamie looked absolutely disgusted and seemed to be so angry she was shaking.    “Whoa, whoa, no.” Eric shook his head emphatically. He never realized how ashamed she was of being poor, but he honestly wasn’t trying to make her feel that way. “I was just offering to get like four cake pops and if you wanted one or two you could have them. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.” His tone was placating, he didn’t want things to go wrong, especially before the date could even really get started.    “I’m sorry... I... I overreacted.” Jamie shook her head, looking contrite. “I’m just... not used to.... Sorry.” She couldn’t even look up at him, she just stared at the ground, shuffling awkwardly.    Before Eric could even try to reassure her, they were at the front of the line, someone ready and waiting to take their orders. Ever the gentleman, he let Jamie order first, mentally noting the kind of coffee she liked in case he was lucky enough to go one more dates with her. For the record, she got a white chocolate mocha. For himself, Eric ordered a German Mocha Creme Freeze, and upon discovering there were no cake pops, he got two brownies. After being handed the little paper bag of brownies they shifted down the counter to wait for their coffee.    “Should have gone to Starbucks if you wanted cake pops.” Jamie looked up at Eric, her tone light and joking, trying to make up for earlier. She managed to smile a bit when Eric chuckled.    “Yeah, I guess so. I don’t normally come to Biggby, but it was closer.” He shrugged and accepted his drink when it was handed to him. The pair found a table for two near the window that was fairly isolated. Eric was pretty nervous, he had never gotten to hang out with Jamie one on one, or outside of school, but he was determined for things to go well.    Surprisingly, it did. Things just started clicking for them. Jamie wasn’t annoyed at him, and he wasn’t coming across as a major dork. When given the chance, Eric could be incredibly charming, which Jamie clearly hadn’t been expecting. He could tell he was heading the right way to a second date. He was even more sure when he was taking her home and she invited him to come inside. She said they could study together and get some homework done, which sounded great, but really he was just elated she wanted to spend more time with him.    “My room is just up the stairs.” For some reason, Jamie seemed to be getting more and more nervous. She kept wiping her palms on her jeans and was having trouble looking him in the eye. Still, he didn’t say anything and just followed her up the stairs. She paused outside a closed door and turned, putting a hand on his chest. “Eric... I just wanted to say... I’m sorry. For everything.” He didn’t have a chance to reply before she put her free hand on his shoulder, getting on her tiptoes and pulling him the rest of the way down to meet her in a kiss. Fireworks went off in his brain and he melted into it while he could, because before too long he started to feel dizzy and fainted.

   When Eric came to, he was in a bedroom, tied around the chest and biceps to a bed post and was surrounded by candles. He was at the edge of a circle that looked like something straight out of a black magic spell book. Across the circle was Jamie, hunched over the book he could only assume the circle had come out of. He had absolutely no idea what was going on, but his instinct was to make light of the situation.    “Look at all these candles, so romantic.” He grinned as Jamie startled and looked up at him. She immediately rolled her eyes like she used to whenever he spoke to her.    “First of all, I’m sacrificing you.” She held up a knife he hadn’t noticed before as she looked back down at her book. “Though I did have a good time at Biggby.” She seemed to pause for a moment, but she didn’t look back up again. “I only went on that date with you thinking you would be obnoxious like always and make this easier, but...” She blew out an annoyed breath and shook her head as though steeling herself. “Look... it’s not personal, Eric. It’s just... I need to do this... for Becca.”    “For Becca?” Eric leaned over as far as the honest-to-God ropes would allow, trying to see Jamie’s face. “What do you mean?”    “I learned about everything after... they made her do that. They all... It was their fault! It is their fault I don’t have a sister anymore! And then mom was a huge bitch and just left like she was the only one grieving, like she was the one in the car with Becca when she did it. I was in the hospital for three months and she came to see me once!” Jamie slammed her clenched fists on the open book. She took a deep breath to compose herself and lifted the knife. “There was nothing I could  do on my own, so I asked for help. This is the last step and you’re the final cost.” She carefully leaned over the circle, turning his hands palm up.    Eric didn’t resist or fight. He leaned against the bed post he was tied to, closing his eyes and breathing slowly. He winced and inhaled sharply both times she cut his wrists. He opened his eyes when he felt her sit back and he watched as his blood left his wrists and flowed unnaturally along the drawn lines of the circle. The lines were just starting to glow when Eric closed his eyes for the last time.

   Jamie felt more than saw or heard Eric exhale his final breath, and when he did the floor opened into a swirling abyss from which rose a grotesquely muscled figure. Jamie grinned with delight as he pulled himself up. The grin quickly faded when she saw the look on his face.    “Jamie Lorraine Meyers, you should be ashamed of yourself.” The Great Demon of the Abyss sounded as disgusted as he looked as his voice boomed in the small room. “This boy you sacrificed is far too good for you.” He pointed at Eric’s lifeless body. “Do you know what he told Lord Death upon his arrival? That he was fine with being killed by you if it meant you got to be happy.” The Great Demon looked at her, waiting for her pathetic excuse.    “Th-this was important... I... he’s the only one--” The Great Demon silenced her with a wave of his hand.    “You will still receive what was promised, but you shall also be punished.” The Great Demon crossed his arms over his heavily muscled chest. “When you hesitated, it created another Line of Fate. Had you chosen not to go through with your plan, you and Eric would have had a long and happy life together. You would have been able to move on from your sister’s death, your father would have liked Eric and taken a greater interest in your life. You would have gotten your Masters in Cellular Biology and been very successful. Eventually you would have passed away peacefully in your bed having lived a fulfilling life full of love and happiness instead of one of darkness and revenge.    Your punishment shall be that knowledge. As well as the knowledge that it shall never come to pass despite the fact that Eric shall live.” The Great Demon of the Abyss snapped his fingers and Eric’s body disappeared. “He will have no memory of what has transpired. He will have no memory of you. I hope you can live with yourself.” With that, The Great Demon of the Abyss disappeared, the swirling void closed and Jamie was left completely and utterly... alone.

[emmaniggaly]

Two sides to every story

I'm a strong believer in that, mainly cause I've been on the "second" side of a story. I know what the story looked like to everyone else but once you heard my side, it all sounds like a fairytale.

I was with my ex for five years, we met in high school his freshman year, so all his friends became my friends. I met Jackson in 2010, he was part of the "OG4" as my ex liked to call it, a group of kids who have been besties since middle school. Me and Jackson hit it off, eventually we became best friends, like legit best friends. I ate supper at his house, I've spent the night, I hung out countless times with my ex and alone. It was harmless on my part. Yes we all knew Jackson liked me, the other 2 of the group knew more than me and my ex, they knew how much Jackson was in love with me. But either way, I was head over heels in love with my ex, Jackson was truly only a friend and over the course of those five years he pushed his feelings for me on the back burner and stayed in the friend zone.

Come year 3 with my ex things got rocky, they had always been slightly toxic, but I was young and dumb. As I grew up i started to realize that we weren't on the same wave length, but still I stayed for 2 more years. 2 long years at that.

I told him I wasnt happy, I told him what I needed to be happy, I by all means am not perfect but I damn sure can admit my flaws and will always try to change for the better. My ex didnt know how to change, I ended up changing enough for the both of of us it seems, right into a different person. I fell into a deep depression, a dark dark lonely hole and my ex only kept digging it deeper and deeper.

My ex is a good man, just not for me. He was mean, violent and just downright hateful. I never felt loved, but damn did I fight for it. I had countless nights of tears and thinking I wasnt good enough.

The last 2 years were hell of that 5 year relationship. But I stayed.

Jackson was there for it all, he never knew what I was going through but he could tell I was changing. He told me one time " you smile has faded" I laughed and shrugged it off but oh how right he was.

3 years ago to the day (21916) is when my eyes & heart opened. Jackson had a MMA fight, my ex, me & another member of the OG4 went to go support. It may have been the crown royal i was drunk off of but I shit you not when Jackson got punched in the face my heart stopped for a second & my eyes closed.

When I opened them it was like my heart restarted and there was a yellow aura around Jackson, I was in awe of him.

I ended up having to take him to the ER that night, along with my ex. My ex must have suspected the change in me cause he got loud and wouldn't stop degrading me the rest of the night up until he passed out in the car as I stayed with Jackson in the ER room.

I remember stealing pictures of him, & answering all the nurses questions. We played it off like I was the gf so I could get back in the room with him. I had to stay the night with him that night and It was the first night that i dreamed of him.

The next 3 months after that I saw Jackson as something other than just a bestfriend. I had this battle in myself whether to brush it off and try to salvage what was left of me and my ex or say fuck it and cross the friend zone line.

I said fuck it.

I left my ex 3 months later, trust me it was a long time coming. Honestly it should have happened at year 3 [maybe even before that] not year 5.

And yes the next day the friend zone was crossed with Jackson. I have never seen someone more happy in my life. I always told him hes like the boy in all the 80s movies that finally got the girl. He was Jim from the office when Pam finally gave him a shot.

But then I would look in the mirror, in pictures and see that I was just as happy.

Flash forward 3 years and I am now married to Jackson. We still hang out with the OG4 [minus my ex ] and they tell us they knew it was bound to happen, Jackson was too in love with me for fate to never step in.

[I still laugh about that, looking back he really was in love with me all along]

In these 3 years I have never felt like I wasnt good enough, I have never questioned his love, I have never questioned his intentions, he is my bestfriend and my husband. He wakes up every morning and the first thing he does is give me hugs & a kiss and says he loves me. He calls me beautiful every day. We literally have the best time together. Our friends have told us they hope to find a love like ours one day & I hope everyone does.

To make a long story short, nothing is what it seems, dont judge someone off of one side of the story, also marry your bestfriend. It will save you heartache and pain. Trust me.

[hellotinywonder]

“breathe in...  breathe out”, or “Looking back after The O’Neill 2017″

So.... I need to write this before I forget, get wrapped up in my never-ending fight against mundanity, and start to really feel the distance from my people. I got home from The 2017 National Puppetry Conference yesterday, and promptly fell asleep.  We all did. I’ve been to The O’Neill before, and I left this one without the soul crushing sadness of finding your tribe and then being scattered away from them.  I know I will see some of them very soon, why, Cam and I are redcarpeting it up this weekend for a puppet film we worked on, see?  It’s going to be fine!  Still it’s sinking in slowly, that isolation I feel sometimes, so let me babble on a bit, please, while it’s still fresh. First off, I don’t know if it is impostor syndrome or what, I but I seem inherently convinced that I am incredibly easy to forget.  This means I work extra hard to make an impression and I desperately seek approval. I’m getting better at it, but I definitely introduced myself a few times to some people, either who I figured forgot me since last year or the year before, and even some people who I had met the day before.  “Hello, I’m Valerie” was often met with a politely bewildered: “Yes, we’ve met”.  So... thank you for indulging me. I worked with some amazing people this year, and it helped push me to accept that sometimes I just make friends with incredible people, and they are not just politely enduring the tedium of letting me tag along.  Top of that list is Tim Legasse and James Godwin, who I had surprisingly way more in common with than I realized and they shared a studio together for years, and well... it shows.  Also, yeah, I went in completely ready to re-introduce myself to both of them, but that was unnecessary.  Our dynamic reminds me quite a bit of my band family big brother types.  I especially liked messing around singing Morrissey songs with Tim, and mercilessly, mercilessly slaying B-52′s with James at karaoke.  And my separate hilarious conversations with both about my “previous career”. I finally was able to study with Jim Rose, who is a dear, and a master of his craft, and I would sit at the table with him and struggle to get past this weird shyness I have at times, and it was lovely.  Oh, and I made a marionette under his tutelage, and that’s not nothing.  And then strung it up and added trick strings with the help of Kurt Hunter and Phillip Huber (I suppressed my awkward shyness and went up to Phillip two years ago and asked if we could just be friends who said “hello” to each other, and we’ve been friends ever since)!   Martin P. Robinson is lovely, but I was also always a little shy of him when he’d pull out Telly Monster (Telly was my favourite), but I am not shy anymore (testing out dollar store generic KY jelly on his arm, to make sure no one reacted to it, will do that to a friendship, kicks it up a level).  I’m thrilled I’ll get to see him at Dragon Con this year, and he got my song “I’m Just a Fish” stuck in his head and was whistling it to himself while I was editing my film together.  It made my day.  He also asked me to perform it at every pub show he attended.  I’ve sent him a recording. Martin Kettling was one of my mentors two years back, and I got incredibly sick while I was there, and while I didn’t completely fail, I certainly had some pitfalls I pushed through.  He commented to me on the last night, this year, that I had incredible stage presence (thank you, Hellblinki), and he had this wonderful insight to how my brain works, and the nervous energy and strategy that is constantly playing in my brain, and fear and all that (I was in his writing strand, so if you know me... you get it).  Two years ago he had pretty much only seen that, since I was too sick to perform.  It really meant a lot to me to have someone observe and recognize both sides of my stage personality. Also... hugs for days! The best hugs.  I don’t really get much personal contact in my life, I’m not devoid of it, but I live alone, I am single, and it’s just not something I get much of these days.  The O’Neill is a constant string of supportive hand grabs, contact improv, hugs, shoulder squeezing, and piles of deliriously tired puppeteers on the beach waiting for sunrise.  I feel sort of like a story I read once of Pierrot in white, with black marks showing up where other children have touched him while playing... I’m too tired to remember the whole story.

Pam Arciero is like my puppet mom, and one of the people I am totally geeked out that I get to be friends with.  I didn’t make it to her office this year, possibly because I managed not to have a breakdown, but in doing so, I feel like I missed out on something.  Also her and Jean Marie do such amazing work at The O’Neill I owe all of these wonderful feelings to those two powerhouse ladies.  And I own Jean Marie some rhino drawings, I have not forgotten.

Fred Thompson was there this year, and that alone is reason for celebration.  Fred is great and I love our silly conversations, but also our serious ones.  I’ve gotten so much advice from him about life and art, he’s a fantastic creature, and I’m lucky to have gotten stuck at a lunch table alone with him 5 years ago. Mervyn Millar!  Gave me moldable plastic (it’s next to my kettle and I cannot wait to use it!) and agreed to befriend me.  This may not seem like a big deal, but I definitely introduced myself to him twice.  I had just indefinitely postponed my trip to London a few weeks back, but when I do sort it out, I have more artists to visit, and that is spectacular. Ronnie Burkett made us all cry and inspired the marionette strand kids to take turns holding eachother’s puppets so we could all kneel down and kiss the stage before the show.  It was magical.  Also, I have finally reached a level of self confidence around him to make dirty pearl-clutching jokes with him in voices from the early talking pictures.  I adore you, Ronnie. Last year shortly after leaving, I had my heart stomped, and my O’Neill inspiration high crushed (that probably had a bit to do with my perceived disposable nature or ease of being forgotten, it’s not true, and I have the photos, videos, and memories to prove it).  This is not going to be the case this year, and I am thankful of that. I have a bunch of work to do, and never enough time to do it. I know I am forgetting people, but I am super tired and this is a blog post no one is going to read.  To sleepy to edit, that’s me.  But at least it’s out on this digital paper medium, not just stored up in my unreliable head right now. This is all a bit interpersonal, which is great and all, but I also LEARNED SO MUCH. And I cannot wait to apply it.  Once I get some sleep. So from a very full, and very tired heart, I made you all this: https://youtu.be/HrOrIvefF5E?list=PLz0pM6yNwcaD6ofLs_j_SmFsyCv2cvark