#the oceans characters getting annihilated was sad lol

[runefactory-marriage-tournament]

I'm still shocked by Dylas and Leon losing

[vaguely-concerned]

Mass Effect: Annihilation thoughts

TL;DR I fucking LOVED IT, a balm to my heart after struggling through Nexus Uprising! Also canonical lesbians! The sweetest quarian & his badass grandma! Elcor Hamlet except this time it’ll make you cry!!! 

- Aaaaaah the audiobook reader is Tom Taylorson (so male Ryder)!! Fryda Wolf (female Ryder) read the two others and did a nice job, but man I’m soft for his voice in a way only rivaled by (...outside-of-Overwatch!)Jennifer Hale and Nicholas Boulton haha. He also has a much better handle on the pronunciations and voices for the different alien species -- delightful, I’m still cackling over his pitch perfect elcor impersonation. (Bioware please give him more Scott Ryder to voice I miss my son)

- I’m only about half an hour in and this is already SO much better than Nexus Uprising, it really does feel like a brave new galaxy haha. Very funny, very warm and smart and engaging in how it does its characterization and Valente clearly has affection for the setting and the universe, she and Jemisin both do incredible jobs with these. 

- I’m fucking crying laughing at this cross-species near-brawl over a flower arrangement, god I love Mass Effect SO MUCH (what a neat idea though. something blooming quietly even when no one can see it. impractical as hell and hilariously including a high-nutrition celery now, but still neat)

Taylorson continues to wonderful things with the voices, that volus suit sound is so good. (he’s just generally really good at comedy) also a volus bellowing insults ‘moments before punching an anti-bouquet batarian in the groin’ sdafhjklsahfsjadkhfklajshdfkjlsadhf

- a high as a kite elcor... what a time to be alive, to get to read this book

I have already reached the ‘I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS BAR’ stage with these characters, hard boiled drell detective lady and sweet sweet quarian first officer and manically enthusiastic elcor doctor TOT I would die for any one of you!!!

- The quarian/multispecies ark was built for long-term habitation, potentially over multiple generations. So what you’re telling me is that the quarians are the only ones who fucking thought this through and the rest of the Initiative probably should have listened to the people who’ve essentially been living on arks for ages. Who’d’ve thunk huh lol. (I guess the in-universe explanation is that people like the mysterious benefactor just wanted those arks yeeted to Andromeda ASAP, no time to get fancy in case the Reapers changed up their schedule. Fair enough)

- ;n; petition to let senna have a SAM pls (also uh. how happy do you think the stringently anti-AI quarian pathfinder will be when he finds out about everyone else’s SAMs lol lol lol he’s going to PASS OUT FROM RAGE upon meeting ryder. well he sounds like an asshole, I hope he dies so senna gets a chance)  

- I can’t BELIEVE yorrik is an anti-stratfordianist, i am betRAYED! disgraceful, how can I still love you knowing this (and yet I do he is extremely funny and sweet)!!! (at least his theory is that this so-called ‘shakespeare’ was actually an elcor, which makes it better somehow lol. anything so long as he’s not an oxfordian tbh)

senna and yorrik’s friendship is so good and wholesome 

- I really love the consistent alien POVs in this book, mass effect should indulge in this more -- everyone loves this universe so much, bioware, stop making us squint through a human lense to look at it!!  

- oh of course quarian ‘pirates’ exist, the people who’re thrown out of the fleet must be doing something huh. 

- haven’t written that many notes in a while just because I’m enjoying myself so much, I keep forgetting 

- lfsdkhfsajkldhfskadjhfsjakdfhsdkjfh communist volus!!!! this is not a drill, communist volus! I am completely and utterly charmed by this entire book

- the quarian ancestor VI is so interesting and weirdly touching. senna is adorable (and relatably neurotic lol)

grandma AI smoking T___________T I love everything about this, she’s so cool. the worldbuilding being done around pre-geth revolution rannoch here... exquisite 

- way to make me cry about batarians cat valente ;_______;

- the voice acting is SO FUCKING GOOD! I keep forgetting it’s one dude reading all these characters haha, I caught myself wanting to look up who voiced this dying batarian. (special shoutout that he does so many wonderfully distinct and specific female voices!) 

- haHA I KNEW the quarian VI was a full AI (or near enough that it makes little difference tbh)!!! this fabulous grandma was self aware the entire time b i t c h e s !!!!

- the running joke of borbala’s ‘you need ______? I can make _______ happen’ is SO satisfying hahaha

ooooooh serious femslash vibes!!!! initially I thought batarian ex-crime matriarch was too old for drell PI, but this is undeniable. (I don’t think we actually ever get to know how old annex is, anyway, come to think of it) I guess if asari get to be five times older than everyone else and still fuck freely this isn’t really that weird lol

- “don’t look! it’s not so bad if you don’t look!” ofhsdalfhskldlsfjas oh senna baby boy 

hey qetsi? qetsi both senna and I love grandma liat more than you. stand the fuck down 

- NOOOO GRANDMA LIAT ;______________________________________;

- do you think SAM could meet liat (either ship!liat or just grandma!liat).... and have... a friend ;_________; (a cool laidback friend who isn’t a murderous angaran ai who might very well go the murder suicide sort of friendship route lol) 

anyway I miss SAM a lot and love him??

- yorrik noooooooooooo this is awful everything is bad and terrible I love all of them so much why must senna be sad and watch everything he loves fade away 😭😭😭

“Will all great Neptune’s ocean wash this blood/Clean from my hand?” He realized he’d forgotten to preface the words with an emotion. Now they wouldn’t understand what he meant.

Oh. Oh what a way to drive home the sadness and loneliness of this moment f u c k  (and again the emotion taylorson brings to it jesus cHRIST) 

I’m destroyed over how much senna and yorrik love each other, cross species found family out here wrecking my heart in true mass effect style 

- yorrik is such a great character though. he’d be so easy to make a one-note joke character (like most elcor have been in canon lbr), but there’s nuance and depth and just enough satsifyingly believable alienness there. (I love the staunch elcor ‘you can’t call anything love that hasn’t lasted at least two centuries’ perspective haha) his memories of his childhood and disappointment with his profession and everything... goodnight sweet prince indeed :(

- they went and made elcor hamlet heartbreaking how dare they 

(to be real for a second I think some of the human culture references are a little bit clunky, but the elcor hamlet stuff is perfect. contextualizing a throwaway joke from the original trilogy and giving it emotional depth, helping us see it from the elcor perspective and how frustrating and lonely it is to be so fundamentally not emotionally understood or seen on a level most of the other races are, despite their other differences, even though you have all these feelings and want to communicate... its very good.)   

fun additional fact: both mordin and yorrik have played/wanted to play polonius in a production of hamlet! though I guess mordin is the slightly problematic fave in that duo and yorrik is a sweet melancholic angel who has never done anything wrong in his life, I would say protect him but I guess it’s too late for that D:  

- qetsi giving off some real ophelia vibes here, I wish yorrik was here to see it, he’s the only one who’d properly appreciate it despite it all

- I. am. SO FUCKING HUNGRY for more mass effect after this (well even more so than usual) I’m so hyped!! I love this universe so much! I want a new andromeda game with senna as quarian pathfinder and grandma liat as the ship’s AI and see how they interact with ryder and SAM! (honestly though I feel like senna might be the one who’d translate the most cleanly into a game, I think there’s a lot of potential in him that’s barely being realized towards the end there with his deep righteous rage cutting through his uncertainty. also I just want nice things for him. is that so much to ask. he is a good boy, yorrik was so right.)

- aaaah not just femslash vibes, canonical lesbians, this is not a drill! I can’t wait until they propose... ‘we get shit done together, want to be in good cop/bad cop with me until the day we die y/n?’  

- the ME universe doesn’t feel quite itself without all these ‘background’ species hanging around, I suddenly realize. I dream of an Andromeda sequel with all of them on the board and in play again Y-------Y 

- potential Liat and SAM dynamics are so fucking interesting though! if she becomes/is confirmed as a full AI (all I hope and dream of), you’ll have two artificial intelligences with such different starting points but not that dissimilar goals? Liat was an organic person once who’s looking out for her family even now, and SAM is completely artificial but also intimately tied to and protecting His People. (and pulling a whole lot of symbolic weight re: the strength of familial/interpersonal relationships to boot; he’s the best way alec ryder managed to connect with his children. even though he was dead. because as established alec ryder was a disaster of a person)  

- I enjoyed the loose murder mystery structure of this quite a lot, but that might also be because nexus uprising is so shapeless and meandering by comparison that I’d be relieved by anything else (sorry I’ll stop ragging on NU soon it just. took some hours of my life I can’t get back)  

- jemisin did great stuff for characters already in andromeda (cora, SAM, alec ryder) and valente made me remember just why I love this universe so much and desperately want these aspects brought to andromeda too... and now I’ve exhausted all the fresh mass effect content I had available to me and will sit here consumed with lust for the rest of the time it takes for a new game to be announced thank you and goodbye  

[vrenaewrites]

Songs of Accidental Evils: Part 1.

Last year, I did a series on this blog where I talked about the playlist behind my first book, CIVIL BLOOD. I got a lot of good feedback from that and people overwhelmingly wanted me to do it again for the sequel, ACCIDENTAL EVILS. This book has a much darker tone, and its playlist was easily split into three parts: the general vibe of the book, songs related to River (the male MC), and songs related to Fina (the female MC).

In no particular order, these are the general vibe songs. If you don’t care for an explanation and just wanna hear the songs, here’s a link to the part 1 playlist!

1. Staring at the Sun – TV On the Radio.

This is one of my favorite songs point blank, period. The image of staring into the sun, in the ocean, with the water coming up to your neck, is so haunting to me. Especially because there’s a lot of talk about drowning in this book. Without spoilers, the line “note the trees because the dirt is temporary” is my favorite line (it was my tumblr bio when I was in high school) and hugely influential to a major plot crumb I drop in this book for book 3.

2. Born To Die – Lana Del Rey.

A perfect song to be depressed to. “Sometimes Love is not enough and the road gets tough, I don’t know why.” This is such a perfect representation of how the relationship in both River and Fina’s families start to break down due to the trauma both of them face.

3. Sail – Awolnation.

This song, despite its meme potential, is haunting. It reminds me of being abducted by aliens, largely because of its music video but also because of the sonic surges of sound. There’s alien motifs in AE, but also the idea of loss of identity - as if you’ve been abducted and replaced - is prevalent throughout.

4. Rolling In the Deep – John Legend.

“The scars of your love remind me of us, they keep me thinking that we almost had it all.” “You’ll pay me back in kind and reap just what you’ve sown, you’re gonna wish you never had met me.” You could hear this from either perspective and it would make sense, depending on who you direct it towards. And the John Legend acapella version is just superior, sorry.

5. Push – Matchbox Twenty.

A song about using people and not feeling bad about it because you yourself have been used. “I don’t know if I’ve ever been really loved by a hand that’s touched me, and I feel like something’s gonna give, and I’m a little bit angry.” There’s a lot of anger in this book. And this song is angry enough for everyone.

6. Blow it All Away – Sia.

This was the first song on the first ever playlist for a CIVIL BLOOD sequel. Before Sia blew up, this and Breathe Me were her only songs people really knew. “Where there’s ice to be found, the seed lies underground.” This song is full of bitterness and darkness. Just like this book.

7. My Mistakes Were Made For You – The Last Shadow Puppets.

“Around your crooked conscience she will wind. And it’s a lot to ask her not to sting, and give her less than everything, innocence and arrogance intwined, in the filthiest of minds.” This song is about a wicked girl who turns a good man to bad things. There’s a lot of that thinking going around in this book.

8. White Blank Page - Mumford and Sons.

“A white blank page, and a swelling rage. You did not think when you sent me to the brink. You desired my attention but denied my affection.” This is a song I like to call...the After song. Spoilers if I say any more than that. But yes. The After.

9. Ghost - Halsey.

There’s a lot of ghost metaphor happening around this book, specifically around the rock in Possum Lake. Lots of ghosts of could bes. “I’m searching for something that I can’t reach.”

10. Holly – Sleigh Bells.

“Wasted all day killing all the Capulets.” “Never need to ask, we’ll tell you who’s boss.” Sleigh Bells sleigh my life (lol get it.)

11. XO - Fall Out Boy.

A song about a love gone real, real wrong. A song full of regret and fury and self-hate. “I hoped you choked and crashed your car.” “I left my conscience pressed between the pages of the Bible in the drawer, what did it ever do for me?”

12. Honey - The Hush Sound.

“You’ve got a dark heart. You’ve got a cold kiss.” “You always let me down.” This is a song about being fed up with someone who you used to love.

13. Molasses - The Hush Sound.

This, to me, is a song about revenge. About darkness hunting someone down and all the optimism being slowly crushed out of them. “Today, there is a cold moon rising and you wanted something better but tonight, you know you’ll never find it.”

14. Something From Nothing - Foo Fighters.

Fury. Pure fury. Imagery of fire, rivers, blood. Complete annihilation. “But in the end we all, come from what’s come before” is a huge plot point.

15. Hemorrhage – Fuel.

“Tread the waters til the depths give up their dead. What did you expect to find? Was it something you left behind?” The feeling of being forgotten, and trying to forget yourself, only to be reminded in the worst way at the worst times.

16. Green Light - Lorde.

“I do my makeup in somebody else’s car” reminds me of Sparrow and the way she and River drift apart during some of this book. “Well those rumors they have big teeth, hope they bite you. Thought you said that you would always be in love, but you’re not in love no more.” Is a back and forth in my mind between two characters. (Spoilers if I say who)

17. Shutter Island - Jessie Reyez.

The sarcasm and bite in this song is so good. A perfect song to descend into madness with. “Goodness gracious, you’re amazing. According to you I’m a lucky lady.”

18. Somebody That I Used to Know (acapella) - Gotye ft. Kimbra.

Ten years after its release and I still cry every single time I hear this song. It’s just plain sad. And acapella, the harmonies knock me off my feet every time. “You didn’t have to cut me off, make out like it never happened and that we were nothing. And I don’t even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger and it feels so rough.”

19. February Stars - Foo Fighters.

A song about barely being okay, but being okay nonetheless. “You ask for walls, I’ll build them higher. We’ll lie in the shadows of them all. I’d stand but they’re much too tall.”

20. Unknown Song - Milky Chance.

“Your friends are gonna know, you’re fucked up by yourself. They’ll leave you all alone, and now you’re on your own.” When people who have never been alone are forced to be alone, you learn a lot about them. And that’s all I’ll say on that.

21. Hash Pipe - Weezer.

Just an aggressive song for an aggressive book.

22. Honestly (Encore) - Gabbie Hanna.

Woof this whole song 1:32 of angry. I can’t even pick one lyric, but the opening is gold: “Cross my heart and hope to die you never cross my fucking mind.”

23. 3:16am - Jhene Aiko.

This song breaks my heart. Her sweet little voice kills me. “I do not feel the fear of falling, thought I could fly. It didn’t go well, but oh well. And what do you know? I’m right back where I was before.”

24. When Doves Cry (Cover) - Diamond White.

Do I have to explain why this song is on here? The lyrics are gut-wrenching and Diamond’s slowed down vocals over an orchestral track are unreal.

25. Blue Monday (Cover) - Hannah Peel.

“How does it feel to treat me like you do? When you laid your hands upon me, and told me who you are?” Spoilers.

26. Debaser - The Pixies.

When Bernardo and Sparrow are in the car in the beginning of Act I, and when Sparrow and River are in the car at the end of Act I, this is the song playing. Bernardo loves The Pixies.